Mating press is the best edition
Previous thread >>905034
Surely you all attended Lemmy Kilmister's funeral?
>Feeds Mapo Tofu
Sorry anon! Real life happened
I was looking forward to cleaning your smegma too
>He grimaces, with his ears twitching and eyes squinting. Awkward shuffles, a hand brought up so his finger may scratch his nose's tip. Then, he gulps, flashing red across his face, from ear to ear, and thrusts out his hand.
K-kurisu! Will you...repopulate this world with me!?
>Trump waltzes in after a long day of campaigning and plops down on his leather recliner with a loud sigh. He props his feet up on the coffee table and with what little strength he has left he leans forward and removes both of his shoes with a loud "Plop!" as they fall onto the hardwood floor. Now that his feet are finally free from their prison after such an exhausting day, he wiggles his toes to stretch and air them out.
Aaaah.. Much better...
Now if only someone would give ol' Trump a foot massage..
>He blazes crimson across his cheeks, eyes welling up in tears as he seizes back his hand. A fist forms, one which he brings to his chest and, as he twists his head down and away from her, it trembles against his breast. He swallows, and then looks up to the sky, his eyes shining with the innocence of a thousand pre-schoolers seeing a puppy roll in a field of daisies.
I...I'm afraid too, but...we must! Maybe we won't find love, but...we'll do our duty!
Anyway, let's make this a metal thread. I'll start with some GWAR.
Needs discord link because of a stupid bitch
IN THE TRASH
There you go~
Maybe now you'll go back into your kitchen, like a good girl.
Thanks, now I'm going to troll the fuck out of all of you!
Can we at least agree Andrew WK is good?
Yes you are~ Such a cutie~~
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE IS SEXUAL MAGIC INCARNATE! She is not a small, pug puppy in a Christmas sweater!"
I'll chew your dick off if it pleases you.
Why is your anime so shit, you underdeveloped, forgotten piece of edgy trash? Satsuki is a million times better than you in every way and actually meant something. Your father is fucking dead and you're stuck in a low budget Japanese piece of garbage. Fuck you.
I'm sorry for being so aggressive in your presence, Princess Celestia.
This saddens me a bit, I was kinda looking forward to hectic fun hours before going to sleep myself.
I'm all sorts of confused here.
oh btw worship me~
O-Oh.. Thank you!
Geh! What a tough broad.
Your nose should be bleeding at least, what kinda high level perversion do you possess?
Are you here to save the night?~
>Miyafuji asked with glimmering eyes.
"Good Morning, Tobi."
"Peach! Have you heard the news? Trixie is Queen of these threads now! it;s okay to be jealous."
"You call yourself innocent when you're actively looking a for a good pounding by a shemale?"If that's the case, should Trixie call herself pure and not-rapey?"
W-what? That's too hardcore.
I'm a pure woman.
Then why are you trying to get some action with someone as lewd as me?
Heya thread, how we all doing tonight? I just got back from chilling with my friends for the night and I'm feeling good
That's a good one! Trixie pure!
>falls to the ground laughing
I think I'm going to piss my pants! Hey, everybody! Trixie says that she's pure! They don't even believe that on Equstria!
I think someone's having bad time or something and pouring it to us tonight here.
I'll be lewd to get on this list!
>Flinches at your grab, whining loudly and pouting up at you
H-Hey! Give me that back anon!
>You hear a sudden buzzing, and she blinks a few times
Yeooo nigga whats good lmao how you be senpai I see you got the button still good shit
>She glared at the anon
I don't need diapers! I'm not a child anon!
Miya~! W-What? S-should I hide?
Naah, I'm sure it'll be fine eventually.
Another night where people are just arguing and throwing each other in circles with their bait. Means there's another night where a whole lot of lurkers stand back and just let the whole thing unravel while they watch, wondering when and where they can jump in. It's gotten pretty ridiculous already, but it's almost like those in charge of making it as convoluted as possible, they're working to make it even more ridiculous. Honestly, I have no idea how to wedge in among all the chaos to find something worthwhile.
Just my two cents, at least. Let the rain of
come down. That doesn't really matter, the point does.
Owe you hmm?~ Oh how ever will I pay?~
>She tried to think of the pros and cons, shaking her head at your request
I'd look ridiculous senpai, no thanks...I already look cute anyway!
>She whined loudly at you as you teased her
D-Don't make me take her from you anon!
H-Hopefully senpai, I guess I'll stick around and snuggle with you Miya~
I was just told an ERP thread exists on /trash/. I wouldn't believe my ears, but now that I look into this...
>greentext used to act
>the average entire reply to a post is five words max
>acting out-of-character literally fucking everywhere
>no standards for form and the use of language to form proper sentences
No wonder you are in the tresh. Downboated, I hope you faggots get some standards somewhere and do it the proper way, so it's at least pleasant to look at. Holy fucking shit just glancing over this thread gives me a massive headache.
Having fun without you're sexy skeletal friend? How dare you /trash/
That's all fine and well save for:
>>greentext used to act
Somehow, that became the accepted convention for actions. Prose formatting is still possible, but largely is glossed over. There appears, also, to be a camp which is devoted to attempting to root out anyone who "takes too long" to "get to the point".
Your other issues are valid.
The real question is.
Who wants to a fuck a lamia?~
Oh I think I know a way or two~
My mouth feels pretty empty~
Can you please fill it up?
Would you sex a snake? Would you ram a reptile? Would you sperm on a serpent? Would you satisfy a slitherer? Would you cram it in a cobra? Would you pump a python? Would you let loose in a lamia?
>She blinked at anon as he quickly ran off with her favorite bunny, whining loudly as she laid on the ground rolling
Give her back meanie! Shes miiiiiineee!
Queefed she out from her quim when I crammed in my crinkled cock deep to her creviced crack.
For her back did twist with pleasure when deep did my prick penetrate, and she made such delectable mewls and meows, her maw nigh mangled from mandible to skull.
>mfw im on discord
>mfw he's right
>mfw im a shitposter
>mfw im an erper
>mfw i hate these threads
>mfw you're all shit
>mfw I'm shit
>mfw i wish we would all die
>mfw I have no face
"Twilight can go fuck herself! No such spells exist and Trixie won't shit on you."
>the mystical skeleton mage took out his thick hard bone. Slowly, he poured milk over it as he stroked the shaft with his boney hand
>he furiously strokes his throbbing bone, the milk dripping off it with every pump
YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU ARENT MY REAL DAD
(Sorry senpai I have no idea how to rp that situation nor do I have the interest, I ain't judging though!)
"But Trixie doesn't want to shit on your face! She'll settle for pissing on you, though."
>shitting is too disgusting
>pissing is okay though
You have the orders reverse m'lady
can I tie trixies dick up so she can't cum then tie her down and fuck her ass hard
"Trixie only does water sports if it includes humiliation and degradation. She won't piss on people who like it. That's disgusting!"
>She squeaked as you swiped her cap, holding her messy hair to try and cover it
S-Stop stealing my things! Why do you keep taking my stuff?!
>She remained on the floor pouting up at you with watery eyes
Sorry about leaving on the drop of a dime earlier, ill try and stay with you guys as long as possible this time~
>She opens her arms in a big hug for any intrested
Stealing isn't very nice mister...f-fox thing? Give me my stuff back!
Step up nigga if you steal my shit I steal your soul
Don't think because you have trips doesn't mean I can burn your ass with my scald you bitch
>Smiles and hugs
These things happen~
Such a sweetie~
>humiliation and degradation
so.... you'd want me to parade you around town like a slut and let guys piss on you after they fill your pussy with cum? :^ )
I'll let you have your things back
Just stand there a moment and watch this
*Swiper stands up on his hind legs and begins masturbating furiously*
*this goes on for a few minutes until at the moment of climax he thrusts his penis into a precut hole in the girl's stuffed animal, dremching the child's toy with foxy baby batter*
Now come over here and help me clean up, then l'll give you back your things
Sorry! They're just so nice. But everything else about you is good looking, too!
>Giggles and pets the girl's head
>performs an action involving a noun and a verb, perhaps even erotically
You know what's better than a nice hot shower? Nothing. That's as good as it gets. So if you feel like killing yourself after this revelation please feel free to mail your remains to
Ainz Ooal Gown
Tomb of Nazarick
is this the body worship ive been told about... please go on, this information is valuable
Be as close as you want, Im JackO Valentine~
>She makes a few motoins but always stops halfway due to being not sure which to do
Can i pet you back~
>Shelooks up to her queen
>A look of horror crossed her face as she turned away from the perverted Fox and closed her eyes
>She kept'd peaking occasion looks to see if he had stopped, seeing him ram into her favorite bunny sent a wave a shock throughout her body, making her sit there crying miserably
Your feet looks absolutely delicious and beautiful! Your butt is so big and plump. So skinny and nice looking, with perky, squeezable looking breasts!
Yes you can sweet girl~
You have satisfied me with, what you believe to be, realistic, yet, entertaining dialogue.
>I perform yet another action, involving a noun and a verb once again, this time of an erotic nature that cannot be questioned.
Now allow me to repartee with an equal naturalness and wit, while continuing to entice you to perform lewd encounters with me.
mmm, worship does feel nice, lick my feet~
>she runs her hand against her queens breast while looking into the others eyes with a look that could only be compared to a begging puppy
between my thighs? uh....
>her mind failed the lewd possibilties
We could just do that sex thing i was shown~
I completely misjudged the time commitment required in order to complete a satisfying and successful ERP, and therefore I am now either alerting you to the fact that I have to leave without any warning, or I simply cease to respond to you entirely. Either way, you receive no closure. Additionally, several shitposters begin to reply to you in attempts to bait an/or troll you into engaging with them, further splitting your attention from successful roleplay.
Oh. I can understand your desire to engage in a more direct manner, though I am puzzled to why you've imposed such a strict limitation. Regardless, I attempt to respond with all due enthusiasm, in an attempt to have an enjoyable time.
>Various actions transpire, growing shallower and narrower in scope and vision, until tiny fragments of, already, small pieces remain. At this point, I either leave, or become bitter.
Anon, l may be a pedophilic kleptomaniac anthrofox
But one thing l am not
Is a fag
>Her rubbing of the others breast through the fabric gets more intense
Am i asking now mistress?
who makes you feel nicer when you think about them?
>She nods and starts to pull the zipper on her jumpsuit lower to reveal her hairless girly slit
Anon.. you have have got trips... but i dont wear pants... or panties...
I was TRYING to keep this a secret, but since you MUST know, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, Anonymous.
Our failed attempt at ERP attracts the attention of more trolls and shitposting. "This is the end of the ERP thread", declares one anon. "Remember when RP in this thread used to actually be good?" says another. "I miss [insert favorite character here]" is a statement flung through the thread generously, as the conversation devolves into a completely meaningless argument about which players are better than others. This only serves to increase the feeling of bitterness overtaking you and other players, causing an even greater lull in successful ERP.
Hey! Wow, almost no clothes already? Not that I mind - you look great!
Heh heh, hey, you're gonna make me blush if you keep talking like that! Thanks for being such a fan, Rise!
Oh, hello...Princess? Um, ma'am? Not sure how to greet royalty properly.
Hello Mr. Skeleton! I hope your evening's going well?
This bitterness doesn't even arise from any sort of envy at the skills of others, or for the attentions of their admirers'. Simply that so much time and effort is spent in reducing the usual experience of the thread to a vain contest, born out of some idiot exasperation. Despite this, sometimes I'll continue to attempt play, and may even find a partner with whom a suitable interaction is found. It's for naught, and while those shrill cries pronouncing doom and gloom rumble in the distance, I find myself less and less satisfied with the hobby I'd once enjoyed. Practices which had once been common and natural to me die out, being replaced with sullen and hollow shells of what used to be.
Well, I fucked this up.
>pulls out pistol and places the barrel in his mouth before pulling the trigger. A single gunshot rings throughout the thread as anon's head explodes in to a mess splattering blood on your white garment.
>I lovingly take your hand and plant a soft yet passionate kiss on it, having my hand slowly rub up and down her arm, caressing it, till I lock hands with her.
I know my dear goddess; I missed your loving presence so much...
It could be better but thank you none the less
Im JackO Valentine, im happy to meet you~
>She bows before the other, planting a kiss on a divine hand
>JAckOs hands move to pinch her goddess nipples as she places her head between the supple breasts
Master... they are perfect
HA HA HA HA, IT WAS ALL SPLOOSH AND LOOK AT ALL THE SQUEESHY~
>she seems ecstatic at the gore and show
>Jacko gets coated in a light blush as she slides the jumpsuit off her breasts and watches the others tongue play with her
Ah... your good at that... very good...
>her small entrance responds very well to the stimuli
I can't type fuck without people trolling! My life is so meaningless that I need to complain about people ruining my type fucking instead of actually having a social life!
Aaaw! That's really nice of you to say, anon! Though I think it's more a matter of taste - I mean, Korra's really sexy and strong! Mmm....oh! And she has nice hair.
Yes ma'am! It's going alright so far. I'm honestly a little surprised to get so much attention tonight.
Hey, what's wrong? I'm a hero, you know! I can help out with troubles. Er, most troubles.
Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself - I'm Shantae, the half-genie hero!
>She actually blushed, wriggling a little in embarrassment.
Hey, no need to treat me so fancily! I'm not a queen or something - I'm just me. And besides, I like to get to know people before any 'getting down on the knees' stuff goes on!
Of course, lewd face anon
>korra looks up at you and continues to lick your entrance, then slowly slides in deeper
You want to fuck me or not?
>korra kneels down and unzips your pants, pulling out your thick veiny cock, tasting the tip and licking it
Of course not!
Im korra, nice to meet you
Are you here for the same reason as i am?