If fantasy races existed here in this real world of ours, which one would be the most bro-tier?
Which one would be the least bro-tier?
You mean "If GENERIC fantasy races existed here in this real world of ours".
Because "fantasy races" covers anything you can conjure up with your imagination, and not just the usual hurr-durr-orc-elf-dwarf shit that we get shat into our cereal bowls by autistic games devs.
I believe you mean "fantasy species", and none would be bro-tier because "bro" is an individual personality trait. If we take culture into account then most likely none of them would be, because they're based on some conception of early/middle medieval times, and people were dozens of times more prone to killing one another outside of the battlefield back then.
Kobolds, if you can get excepted into their society. They are rather xenophobic.
tfw no kobold gf
Dorfs no contest, always down to get drunk off their ass with you while destroying a rack of rips.
Will never puss out on you in a fight.
And will show you badass ways to wear your beard.
Only downside is they'd probably be pretty cheap unless you get real tight with em.
>can't fight for shit due to being manlets
>will taunt you for your inability to grow a proper beard
>always shows up late and drunk
>never brings their own food or snacks
Dwarves are assholes.
>>can't fight for shit due to being manlets
Actually they'd be a pain in the ass to fight. They're short, strong and stout, that gives them a low center of gravity and they're hard to shift anyway.
Assuming they'd be decked out in the usual top-tier dwarven armour, you'll have a hard time hurting them through it with anything short of a musket. Which means having to resort to grappling, wrestling, other in-fighting techniques, which are all harder to use against someone who is incredibly hard to budge and can wrestle right back better than you can.
>>will taunt you for your inability to grow a proper beard
That's a fault with you, baby chin.
>>always shows up late and drunk
>>never brings their own food or snacks
Those are both bullshit. Dwarves take honour and debts very seriously. If they say they're going to be somewhere at a given time, they'll do their best to be there. If the convention is to bring food when you're a guest, they'll do so because it would be shameful to show up empty-handed.
So in conclusion, just another elf fan who doesn't know shit about bro-tier Dwarves.
Dwarves for broliest. They'd love the hell out of the new and exciting heavy industries.
Halflings and Gnomes for worst, only because they'd collectively hate us after pedophiles find them.
>They're short, strong and stout, that gives them a low center of gravity and they're hard to shift anyway
Look, I'm not going to be afraid of some midget with half a meter's reach, no matter how stout he is. I'm not going to wrestle him, I'm going to hit him, kick him, and beat him with chairs.
Turned me over on my back, gold, opened up my butt cheeks and started licking out my asshole. That's why they call me the gangster of love.
>based Steve Miller Band sampled into a shitty rap song
I think we're all asking the wrong question... it's not who would be the bro-est... but who would be what kind of bro? Dwarves would have your back in a fight, as has been previously established... but halflings would be all for giving you a place to stay if you needed it and sharing tea and biscuits. Both are true bros, but you don't expect one bro to perform both bro-ly actions.
>Greatest ally tier
>Happy Coexistence tier
>We don't talk but I respect you Tier
Orcs, Drow Elves
>Non-Aggression Pact Tier
>I don't like you, you don't like me, keep out of my way tier
>Fuck you and the horse you rode on tier
Members of PETA, supermodels, television stars and probably anti-vaxxers as well. Embedded into the far-left. The far-far left. In Europe they're probably holding up, "Orcs Welcome" signs. Frequents /an/ and /cgl/.
Blue collar workers and bikers in somewhat equal measure. They're fixing your plumbing and operating your factories, and are in an economic depression as a result of current economic trends. Also gigantic assholes. Frequents /o/.
Quiet, humble people that also happen to be soccer-moms and the religious right. Great with food, but extremely conservative and more than a little isolationist and xenophobic. They pressure people to do what they want through, "concerned parent groups". Frequents AOL.
You can't really tell them apart from Turks save by the greenish tint to their skin. Frequents /int/.
Xenophobic assholes with no love for their own children. All the negative traits of asian families with none of the positives, like actually pushing your kids to succeed. Frequents /jp/.
Agnostic, socially liberal, breed like rabbits. Heavily involved in the tech sector and military. Have massive gang problems among the lower class. Frequents /g/.
Very liberal, very involved in the tech sector and hipster movements. Make a lot of custom tech, but the shit never works for long. Fond of lifehacks. Frequents Reddit.
Highly religious, conservative, and xenophobic. Loves money. Would probably vote for Donald Trump and pretend he's not a guy. Frequents /pol/.
Take over wildnerness refuges and like to get lost innawoods. Frequents /k/ and /out/.
Loved by none. Frequents /r9k/.
Frequents /b/ and frats.
Around 30 years old. Frequents /tg/.
Like >>45387493 pointed out, being a bro is an individual thing, not inherent to one species/culture, but if we were to generalize, I'd say:
>Top bro tier
-Almost all Halflings. Who doesn't enjoy good food, good drinks, parties and comfy living?
-Most Dwarves. They will a tough exterior before befriending them
-Most Fairies. I don't know, I just can't imagine a fairy being an asshole, maybe a little bit annoying but not as much as other small/tiny species
>Mid bro tier
-Almost all Orcs. Let's be honest, most fantasy settings put them as "Humans but X", they'd be too much similar too us.
-Most mixed species person. They're constantly torn between two worlds, they may have some insecurities when socializing in our world.
-Most Wood/Low Elves. They've had more contact with humans and human cultures before, so they can easily connect with us.
>Annoying bro tier/ "That guy" tier
-Almost all Dark/Grey Elves. The guy you like but sometimes freaks you out, growing up and living mostly in dark caves and tunnels make them paranoid of the outside world, even more our own.
-Most Gnomes. That guy that you like but clinges too much and won't understand when his pranks/jokes aren't funny.
-Most Goblins. That guy that you like but suspect he stole something at your last house party.
-Most Kobolds That guy that you like, but wouldn't really rely on him for taking care for your pet/kid while your gone.
-Almost all small and tiny species in general would have some kind of knack that makes their precence not unwelcomed but tiresome, they live their lives mostly as cannon fodder and many have some sort of inferiority complex, other simply are too playful, too stupid or lack certain manners.
>Shit bro tier
-Almost all High/Light Elves, greatly xenophobic with a superiority complex, they might like you but despise most of your other friends
-Almost all "monstrous" races. Let's face it, we'll be the xenophobic ones and they'll hate us for it
>Live next to an elf family
>One of them comes over at least once a day to yell and complain about something stupid
>today one of them was over yelling about how my patio furniture was reflecting sunlight into their windows, ruining their artistic layout of their meditation room, whatever that is.
>another was across the street yelling at the kobold family about how their cars paint color is against the homeowner association's accepted color policy
>We don't even have a homeowners association
>routinely go around the neighborhood in December to report people for Christmas displays they find too loud or offensive
>have egged and tp'ed their house every halloween since we moved here a decade ago.
>that xbox huge style half orc and dwarf
Halflings. Tons of food, have tea, tobacco and like 18th century technology while everybody else is medieval, welcoming, nice, their idea of excitement is fireworks AND beer, abundance of shortstacks. No flaws unless you're an annoying deviant covered in piercings or some other edgy shit.
Elves. Look at Rivendell, top comfy and highly artistic as well, good enough to make a hobbit want to move. They only lose points because the senseless hatred they get from plebby uggo humans probably makes them a bit standoffish before they realize you don't share the inferiority complex.
Dwarves. The grumping and the fact you can't leave them alone around money if you want to keep it / not murder your dwarf buddy are strong negatives, but they're hardy and basically good dudes, probably top loyal.
>Come At Me Bro
Everybody else, except:
>Broken On The Wheel
It's a good thing we have a universal agreement on which "fantasy races" are included in the term and what their cultures are like. Otherwise that question would be unanswerable!
Well, Hobbits already exist...
Speaking as a hand to hand combat instructor: being short and wide in a fight is almost always advantageous. A better center of gravity and more difficult target largely offset the weaknesses.
When both combatants are using long blades or other reach based weapons height gives an obvious edge; however, a fighter who recognizes his own skills and limitations would understand this fault and use weapons that compliment a closer and prolonged assualt. For a typical fantasy dwarf in realistic combat, ideal armaments would be thick deflecting armor and either a short fast blade like a standard combat knife, or a catching weapon like a hooked blade or hand scythe.
Watching trained knife fighters you'll typically observe them staying low to the ground and attempting to get as close as possible for the maximum amount of time to insure full damage. I believe this is how a fantasy dwarf in true combat would fight as well to best fit their strengths.
Tl;dr you're an over confident elf lover who thinks that make believe fantasy fights are entirely realistic and that comically tall katana weilding shamerai with ninja techniques are the best combatants around.
>the first thing we do, let's kill all the halflings.
Fuck, they're like cockroaches. You hear about them on the news or the radio, or whatever, and that's cool, but the moment they show up on your block, everything goes to shit.
Literally, they are like cockroaches. They don't so much move in as they infest the place, They breed in job lots, and the next thing you know all your neighbors are moving out of the neighborhood and it's become another slum.
They're not like us. They'll be like us. Hell, they probably don't feel pain the same way we do.
Same thing with the gnomes. Can't stand a beady-eyed midget cricket.
Half orcs are great. Can't get enough of 'em. They're excellent working construction jobs, even better in the military. They're the backbone that holds up this fair nation. Just don't let them in your home long enough to catch a ballgame or a cold one. Them beastly fuckers'll toss your sofa through the wall you get them worked up.
Dwarves.... Who's seen a dwarf and lived to tell about it? Okay, yeah, that was wrong okay, but seriously. They're creepy.
Half-elves can integrate, that's never been a problem. Hell, I voted for that fucking fop in the senate, right? Damn right. But elves? Man, those faggot fucking douchebags can nonce off back to the forestry service or go be park rangers and EPA activists and PETA animal fondlers.
That's assuming that they're not fucking brain-burned. Hell, half of them still fucking think it's Woodstock what with flower child names like Peace Cloversky whatever the fuck.
>I just can't imagine a fairy being an asshole
Oh, the naivete...