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Nyarlathotep vs /tg/
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Huh, so this is 4chan. I have heard quite a lot about you all, Well, I'm sure this will be fun. Let me put you all to the test.

>Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos has decided to investigate 4chan. His MO most likely means he isn't going to browse for fun.
>You have a few options to deal with him.
>Attack the Outer God and force him to retreat
>or
>Convince him to leave


>Rules:
>1. You can perform one action per turn
>2. Nyarlathotep is an Outer God, he can take a ridiculous amount of punishment, don't expect him to be easily beaten
>3. He is Nyarlathotep, remember that.

Nyarlathotep: 100/100 HP
>>
>>45386635
Can we show him goatse?. If so, do it to test his reaction to material things.
>>
>>45386635
I show him FATAL

http://web.archive.org/web/20030420125511/http://www.hyperbooks.com/fatal/fatal.pdf
>>
>>45386635
I show him the Nyarko-san crawling with love series and force him to make a san check. Even if he passes it, that will likely be enough to send him rampaging over to /a/
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>>45386666
>Nyarlathotep glances at goatse
Wow, I forgot humans liked sex so much... I believe the man with the large member is impressive by your standards. Are you attempting to intimidate me?
> Nyarlathotep appears to be amused.

>>45386705
>Nyarlathotep cringes at the awfulness
>-4

>It appears to be quite painful

Nyarlathotep: 96/100
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>>45386907
Tell him about /tg/s Magic Realm
>>
Show him /b/
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>>45386907
>>
>>45386635
>Attack the Outer God and force him to retreat
>or
>Convince him to leave

What about... Sex him up?
>>
>>45387133
Good idea. We should get on it.
>>
>>45386837
>Nyarlathotep is actually quite fond of Nyarko-san, he isn't really that petty. Besides Nyarlathotep has infinite sanity
>>45386933
OOOOOHHH. Tell me more about the fetishes Anon.
>>45386982
Tiles, well? I've seen the Great Old Ones have sexual interest in humans. I find that more bizarre. Besides don't humans masterbate to inanimate objects?
>>
>>45386985
>Nyarlathotep is immune to insanity based attacks
>>45387081
You humans... Well I've realized I truly have no regrets to anything I do to you.
>>45387133
Do you really think that you'd even be able to? I think it would result in you becoming similar to an egg or cocoon.
>>
>>45387717
thats gotta be somebody's fetish, give it a moment and somebody will be around... why are we attempting to get rid of you again? probably worse things around here, like elves.
>>
>>45387782
I blame Cthugha, s/he probably is out to ruin the amusement of being here.
>>
>>45387872
Goddamnit, he's an Outer God, not our sex doll/device of merriment
>>
>>45388042
?
That connection is perfectly logical. Why are you saying that?

I show him that hello kitty comic where elder God gets traped in world of non-violence, where fear doesn't exist, nor disgust, nor doubt, nor madness. Hell for elder God.
>>
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>>45388178
>>
>>45388232
>niggers
every time
>>
>>45388178
>Nyarlathotep takes -5 damage
... What a disturbing idea...
>>
>>45388232
Fucking Great Old Niggers
>>
This thread is worthless and great.
>>
>>45386635
.....Do i know you?
>>
>>45388290
>Nyarlathotep seems to agree with you
>>45388347
... Shit, the jig is up.
>>
>>45388250
Hey, I just came by to tell you, you owe me child support money.
>>
>>45388396
Yhoundeh..?
>>
Wow, this is quite frankly idiotic... Is this what being human is like? Being a complete addict to sexual desires and memes are the only thing that drive you meatbags?
>>
>>45388389
.....please win......
>>
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>>45388567
>>
>>45388679
Well, I have learned a lesson. Don't ever try to understand your lessers. You all drag down my thoughts like fucking lead balloons.
>>
>>45388458
No, Dwionmllkq.

Seriously? You forgot about me?
>>
>>45388567
REEEEEE
NORMIE GO HOME
>>
>>45388956
Huh... Well this is awkward
>>
>>45388983
I guess you Elder Gods really aren't so different from us mortals after all, huh?
>>
>>45389009
Except, when you are dead I'll still be alive. And when this board is gone I'll be alive.

Also I'm an Outer God, fucking humans
>>
>>45389055
Eh, same thing, and you'll never outlive the memes, one day they'll catch up with you.

Eventually you'll remember something stupid from this board, and then you'll realize you're here forever.
>>
>>45389083
I can live with that.
>>
>>45389117
>he thinks he can live with the soul-crushing affliction that is memes

Have fun quoting shit no one will ever understand you Outer neet.
>>
>>45389143
I'm fucking already that way, I'm pretty much the only Outer God with an intelligence.
>>
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>>45389179
>intelligence.

Obviously not that intelligent if you wound up here.
>>
>>45389268
Pretty much
>>
>>45387304
>he isn't really that petty.

Way to misread the character

Nyarlahotep is infinitely petty, that's kind of his entire shtick and the entire reason that he's the only outer god who actively fucks with people for shits and giggles.
>>
The third gear ticks
wildly thrashing through the void
the empty becomes substance
>>
Oh great and powerful Crawling Chaos, surely you have better things to do?

It was said that you would emerge from Egypt, and the fellahin would kneel before you. Egypt seems a bit too stable right now for you to be here already. Aren't you putting the cart before the horse?
>>
I'll show him the Fnaf fandom
>>
I invoke Old Man Henderson. Not even Nyarlathotep can withstand a derailment of that magnitude.
>>
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>>45388178
Description is nothing compared to the real thing.
>>
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>>45387717
>I think it would result in you becoming similar to an egg or cocoon.
If there's even a slight chance of being reborn as a lesser Elder God then I'd be stupid not to do it.
>>
>>45386635
>His MO most likely means he isn't going to browse for fun.
But anon, Nyarlathotep is all about fun. He's just a complete asshole, so he can only find fun in the suffering of others.

He honestly needs some therapy. Are there some other outer gods who he can talk to about his problems? That might help identify why he's such a cunt, so that he can deal with his problems in a healthy way.
>>
>>45393892
I think out of all Outer Gods he's the one who needs therapy the least. In Dreamquest he inthe end has to put them back in line from their escapist journey into realspace IIRC.
>>
I share all my feels to him. Starting with
>tfw no gf
>>
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>>45394410
>maybe I could be your girlfriend tonight?
>>
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I roll to seduce.
>>
I invoke the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom.
>>
I invoke Demonbane.
>>
>Awww shieeet.
>>
>>45390067
>I was referring to him getting annoyed about anime having a moe version of him
Besides it wasn't actually a Mask of mine, though the implications of an Outer God loving a human... Absolutely disgraceful.
>>45390164
Poetry is an odd thing, I guess I am the third gear. Humans... You should stick to the memes. Leave Lovecraft to write odd nonsense which gave me form.
>>45390503
Thank you my humble servant. I merely have come to observe humans without restraints. Seems to be close to madness.

Ah, but that is only for the end of days, when I tire of men and their foolishness. For now I merely shall watch and jest.
>>45391235
> Nyarlathotep has nothing but boredom, those fetishes seem tame to him.
>>45393059
Why are humans obsessed with stupidity? Are all of men lost to ignorance as they are born or is it gained with experience?

This is why I keep you around
>>
Christ, another one of these shitty threads? Just stop already.
>>
>>45391349
>Nyarlathotep winces at the memory of Henderson. Unfortunately Henderson is spending his afterlife fighting the Old Ones. He still gives Nyarlathotep 1 Damage somehow.
>>45393808
An intelligent human, you are a rarity. I shall keep you alive in my memory.
>>45393892
>I was more meaning he was going to do something sinister but now I'm just content with this ridiculousness.
You are a terrible author, also most Outer Gods are completely mindless Anon.
>My feelings...
>>45394410
Heh, even I have one, Anon you are quite frankly a sad waste of genetic material.
>>45396031
>No dice
>>
>>45399277
Better than a Quest Thread.
>>
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>>45399561
>implying this isn't basically the same thing
>implying listening to OP going "NUH UH" for 300+ posts is worthwhile
>>
>>45399502
I propose a game of racial holy war, as it is the most fair and balanced game. Giving a copy of the PDF to Nyarlathotep.
>>
I think we should call in some friendly elder monster assistance /tg/. Back me up on this one legion of faceless beasts of wing and eye!
>>
>>45399746
Nyarlathotep 89/100 HP

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP! I Got Gud.
>>
>>45399929
>Alright, I'll get back to working
>>
>>45399746
The key difference is that this shouldn't spawn more than 2 or 3 sequel threads.
>>
>>45399929
No, you really fucking didn't. It's as boring and stupid as it was before, and even more smug.
>>45399963
This already is a sequel thread. In fact, I think it's the third iteration of this sort of thing. And it's just as shit as the other two.
>>
>>45399995
>Sequel? Heh, no this time high damage banishes Nyarlathotep. Isn't arrogance making you want to deal damage to Nyarlathotep? End the thread? If not just make the mockery funny. I'm not going to be rude because that thread sucked, terribly. I really should get mocked.
>>
>>45399862
I second it.
>>
>>45400111
>waste of trips

Not trying to mock anyone. I'm mad. Genuinely mad.

Why?

Because I care. OP, you've got some good ideas, you really do. This sort of thread had the potential to be amazingly fun for everyone. I can totally get behind /tg/ gathering together for a big dumb boss fight. But you just keep fucking it up. Vague-ass rules, arbitrary rulings as to what does and doesn't work. Shit, we don't even have dice rolls to fall back on in this one. Everyone just has to hope and pray that you're feeling merciful enough to go "Well, I GUESS that does a little damage!" instead of the usual "No that doesn't work TEEHEE!" Coupled with insufferable amounts of smug/edge on your part, it just turns the whole thing into the most unfun bullshit I have ever witnessed.

I guess you could say that I'm not really mad. Just disappointed in you. You could've done great things OP. I believed in you.
>>
>>45400341
Then how should I be less shit? Explain. /notsarcasm
>>
>>45400481
Actual solid rules that both player and gm abide by would be a good start. Consistency in rulings would be a very close second.

This is Running Games 101 man. You should know this.
>>
I know its you ANON, tell me old friend. How should I do this? Or should I stick to being a background figure?
>>
>>45400536
Ah, well should all attack deal a base damage and rolls amplify the power? I'm shit at making anything
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>>45400536
To point this out, no I really don't, guess what was my first GMing. I tend to deal damage based on creativity/humor. I've been sorta shitposting with this one and didn't care.
>>
>>45400852
If you don't give a shit, then why should we?

Read up on basic game design and how to run a game, then come back and try again.
>>
>>45400738
>Apologies if you'd like me to continue I shall
>>
"Get to bed it's late" said Azathoth.
>>
>>45399502
>No dice
My bad
>>
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Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>45402325
>>45399502
here
>>
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>>45386635
I punch
>>
>>45402586
HWAN PAAWNCH!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QImBolnTVH8&ab_channel=LantisGlobalChannel
Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 17
Thread DB ID: 512124



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