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Mages Guild: Missing Department Heads Edition
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Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! First of all I would like to congratulate everyone on handling the outbreak of stray portals across over the guild. The ones responsible have been found and been dealt with. A year in the plane of bees should show them not to portal away my private stash.

Now, there has been talk lately how a lot of the department heads haven't been seen in a while, apparently it took the head of the Pyromancy department three months to return after being lost for anyone to care. The head of Divination is still on his extended vacation, the head of Illusion hasn't been seen for decades, even though her department claims she's still around, the head of Chronomancy isn't due to show up for another year or so after he jumped ahead hoping for more interesting times and the head of Entropomancy is said to have turned into nothingness or something. Anyway with the heads of Geomancy and Aeromancy both retiring today, on top of all these no-shows, people have been talking about assigning replacements. Normally I would just let the departments handle this internally but it's getting out of hand so give me some options here!

Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
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>Crashes through a wall.
HEAD FERROMANCER, CHECKING IN!
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>>45327748
Ah yes, I enthusiastically have awaited this to make a push for our idea of a new department.
>holds his hands out like he's making a sign but nothing happens
The Magistrate of Twilight Arts and Studies!
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Hmm, well, what qualifications are required? That's the real question isn't it?
>>45327798
Is it just your idea? Because it sounds like something you made up to feel important.
>>
>>45327798
>stands in place. any minute now
No, it was /our/ idea.
>>
Ah, eh... We've already got a head of our department. And plenty of people who'd be willing to take his place if he disappeared.
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>>45327820
>>45327833
>dropped post*
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>>45327748
Ah. This is quite the predicament.

Also does anyone have a potion of youth? I seem to have aged myself a century or two.
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>>45327833
>Looks around
It is bizarre having actual eyes again, being human..ish again.
>>45327844
I'm not sure if I'm even technically part of a department. Astromancy is similar but I don' know if they have a Head or not.
>>
Only ferromancer here...
DOES ANYONE WANT TO JOIN!?
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>>45327748
Just merge the departments into already existing ones. Perhaps it's time to bring back the department of elementalism and return all its subdepartment back under one roof?
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>>45327928
ARIVAE! wake up you git!
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>>45327962
>Walks in, yawning.
Don't be rude Teu...You know the problems with the moon have my sleeping schedule confused...
>>
you rang
No need to worry , your savior has come.
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>>45327946
I apologize but I am not qualified to join, nor do I have much interest in the art. I do respect you for it though.
>>45327962
>Looks decidedly unimpressed, but still he smiles.
Who's Arivae?
>>45327958
It is a possibility, hmm, but what if we have the same situation as what happened a couple meetings ago.
>>45328003
>He smiles and waves
Hello miss!
>>45328008
Hmm?
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>>45328003
Arivae, now is finally an opportunity to open the department we talked about! Now you can have an office to play with your flowers in.
>>45328043
That would be my wonderful sister.
>>
I frankly have no Idea what's going on but I am putting in my bid for any position
Teaching anything really
summoning/conjuring
Sacrificing
trepanning ect.
>>
>>45328008
Who are you, how did you get that title, and no, you really, really aren't.
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>>45328008
Here have you been? Last I heard adventurers had found your crypt with the intention of ending you and then we didn't hear from you for years!
>>45328043
Departments wanting to break free? Preposterous!
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>>45328073
A name maketh the man (or skeleton)
So I chose it for myself when I accidentally became a necromancer
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>>45328008
Hm...Hello.
>>45328043
And hello to you as well.
>>45328055
Teu, I'm not in a rush. I do have the garden to share, so you don't need to worry about me...
>Looks down at herself.
Right.
>Is engulfed in a column of light, which fades away.
That's better.
>>
Head of the spellblades here.
Also, the head of the friendshipmancy department died
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>>45328087
I ran and hid of course (teleported really)
blended in with high society and the like
I found a great love for fine wine
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Wazzup guys. I volunteer for the treasury department. Yeah. Treasury.
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>>45328090
>Wrong picture.
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>>45328090
Lolth be damned Arivae, they won't make a department for a Nyctomancer and his apprentice!
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>>45328088
How does one accidentally become a necromancer?
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>>45328140
They made one for a ferromancer and her apprentice!
>Hanging banners advertising ferromancy.
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>>45328120
Good to hear you're alright. Personally I got myself my own evil empire going, well, technically not mine, but sometimes being the man behind the throne is much more enjoyable than sitting on it.
>>45328121
We aren't falling for that one again, not after that incident with Don, the Amazing and Trustworthy Mage.
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>>45328147
You know
You kill one guy but don't want to get caught so you hide his body in the family crypt
This happens a few doze times and what do you know. I've been cutting the hedges in the exact shape of a sacrificial circle
the rest is history
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>>45328156
After she got involved with some war. And proved....Diana! we're inciting wars between the empires!
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>>45328181
Dozen
>coughs
Sorry
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>>45328087
There was a lot of unnecessary bloodshed.
>>45328139
You are Arivae then? A pleasure to meet you, I am Oriaja.
>His smile is innocent
>>45328117
Aww, that's too bad.
>He frowns, then frowns even deeper
Having an actual face is a bizarre experience.
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>>45328183
Teu, no you are not! We are not starting a department on the back of a war.
>>45328202
Yes, I am honored as well, though I have no heard of you.
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Jokes over now guys, change my skin back to the proper color
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MAGIC IS FOR LOSERS!
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>>45328202
"Having an actual face is a bizarre experience"
I know
I used to have one and it grew so tiresome having to look at it
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>>45327958
I for one would one would be for this, because I am /not/ becoming the head of Aeromancy.
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>>45328178
Oh shit, they're into me!
>run away
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>>45328202
>nods
And it generated a lot of corpses for my department.
>>45328181
>>45328200
Interesting how that turned out.
>>45328226
Sorry Jill, not my department.
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>>45328181
...

Damn.

>>45328230
>A pair of skeletons are now standing right behind you
>Would you like to rethink that statement?
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>>45328218
Damn it Arivae. Think of the funding! And maybe Cinder will notice me again...
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>>45328257
I know I am interesting
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>>45328218
I am just a humble performer and storyteller, Arivae, and I am rather young. Very few would know of me.
>>45328234
Yes, but I am not you.
>He stretches his jaw a little
I haven't had an actual face for most of my life now. Thought I would never see what I would look like as an adult.
>>45328243
>He smiles
Hello Emilia!
>>45328257
>he shrugs
At least their deaths served a purpose then
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>>45327748
Oh my gods! It wasn't sister Herrani who opened that portal to hell in my Guilds basement! It was you Assholes! Thanks to you guys, We had four, COUNT THEM! FOUR portals to Hell, open up in our Guild!

I demand immediate compensation for this! I lost 47 priests, and 12 Paladins from "The Departmentos Lawfully Stupidious" thanks to you guys!
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Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>45328271
Psychic blast!
>Blows apart your skellies flips you off
>>45328318
Yeah! Fuck wizards!
Gently
>>
>>45328318
Only twelve paladins
What crappy layer did they lead to
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>>45328311
Hey there. Orijia, hows the world through normal eyes, and how did you bring the moon back?
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>>45328291
Aw, you just need to talk to her Teu. Don't worry, she'll warm to you again.
>>45328311
Now, don't take that attitude. I'm sure in time your stories will become legendary.
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Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>45328341
>Two more skeletons come and attempt to beat you up
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>>45328318
HEY ASSHOLE! I HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THEN YOU DO AT THE MOMENT. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED MY FEET HAVE BEEN SMEARED INTO A SPLOTCH OF BLUE PAINT!
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>>45328356
Arivae! Focus on making our department, not my failed love life!
>>45328318
You are 69 people better off.
>redrobe snicker behind him
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>>45328366
No no, Fuck you Pheer.
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>>45328366
Ha! Loser!
>Flips you off some more
>>45328375
That's kind of hot.
>Runs off
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Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>45328375
I'll fix that
>cracks knuckles
Let's go with a light mauve this time
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>>45328294
Very much so. It's good to have you back.
>>45328311
Indeed they did. It helped negate the great corpse shortage we were suffering from, we are more or less back to normal by now.
>>45328318
>pokerface
Not my department, not my problem.
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>>45328375
Then wash your feet you damned mage!
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>>45328421
You made her even bluer? How?!
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Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>45328395
>Pops back in
Oh Criticus, why do these pointed hatted faggots suck?
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Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>45328410
...

>Sigh

>Skeletons continue attempting to hurt you

>>45328395
You damn you.
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>>45328356
It is a simple fact Arivae. One I am content with for the moment. Just happy to see the world through normal eyes again.
>>45328354
It is...nice, to feel human again. As for the moon, its creation was a moment of...clarity, I would say. I am not completely sure myself.
>>45328432
Glad to hear it, though it's not truly my area of expertise.
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Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>45328451
>Continues to use superior psychic blasts to ruin your confidence before fucking off again
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>>45327748
Here is the coffee everyone
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>>45328440
With my magnificent Magic of course
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>>45328476
Thank you Mort, don't you think a department about the Studies of Twilight would be pretty nice?
>>45328481
It's horrendous!
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>>45328474
NOOOOOOOOooooooo.....
>Is beat to a pulp
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>>45328476
Ahh thank you
>begins to poor nondescript alcohol in my mug
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>>45328458
So you can enter a Zen like state for some real wonders.
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>>45328476
Thank you Mort.

>>45328507
>Skeletons beat a psychic to a pulp
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>>45328502
>Shrugs
Sounds like the astrology department
>>45328511
Why are you pouring alcohol into the coffee?
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>>45328502
It's supposed to be
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>>45328476
Thank you Mort, from the sound of things I'll really need this.
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>>45328421
.......You just made this permanent didn't you.

>>45328434
>Flips you off
>>
I really do need to fix my sleep schedule...
>Yawns and wanders off.
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>>45328534
It is good for cancelling out the "waking up" effect coffee has
You don't want to wake the dead do you
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>>45328534
It's nothing like astrology!
>>45328539
It's terrible, she's terrible, you're terrible!
>>45328556
Arivae! wait!
>Teu runs off after her
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>>45328546
>shrugs
>takes a sip of my coffee
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>>45328448
Because they are all vacuums wearing pointy hats

>>45328451
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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>>45328568
I've done worse to the dead then waking them. I have killed Noone at least twice
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>>45327748
Wait, the head of the Geomancy department is retiring?

...We HAD a geomancy department?
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>>45328534
Ooh, I've heard about your coffee, now that I have taste buds I would like to try a cup.
>>45328524
I suppose so, it's rather strange. Having a face again, a body again, I think the clarity was what helped cement it.
>>45328576
Kinda sounds like astrology.
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>>45328546
Be careful young lady of blue, you never know when that bastard Dark Elf Dirjin is around.
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>>45328366
>>45328421

My, my, what's up with the necromancy department today?
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>>45328606
It sounds like we had a geomancy department.
>>45328611
Any other plans to do with magical surges?
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>>45328611
Feel free to help your self
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>>45328632
Nothing you overglorified engineer
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>>45328593
So, what are your plans now that you have returned to the guild? Planning on nabbing a department that's up for grabs or will you be working with me?
>>45328606
Of course we did, we have had a geomancy department since pyromancy split of from the department of elementalism leading to the other three departments, hydromancy, geomancy and aeromancy, splitting off as well.
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>>45328632
The usual.
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>>45328676
Hoping to teach young children that skeletons are not to be feared but befriended
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>>45328635
It will depend on what is needed of me, would rather not push my luck. I want to figure out my lot in life.
>>45328632
Hello! What's your name?
>>45328658
Thank you
>Takes a cup and takes a sip
Mm, nice to taste again.
>>
>>45328635
>>45328676
Oh. Huh. The more you know and all that...so what're we gonna do, re-merge them?
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>>45328635
https://i.gyazo.com/96200a9abb7f37da05719189370c4515.png
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>>45328606
Sam help! I'm been turned into art by the blue men group! >>45328226

>>45328593
Thanks. Thanks a fucking lot.

>>45328622
>pic related
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>>45328676
Don't forget Electromancy and Ivana's take on it, made it rather popular, now with a missing head.
>>45328707
I and other people would greatly appreciate it if you didn't blow up our sun, if the idea ever crosses your mind.
>>45328736
well I don't plan on being a head, and neither do you I imagine, maybe we can become teachers.
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>>45328761
M-moose? that you?
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>>45328762
You're welcome
>bows
Pinball wizardry is a dying art since that bard group stopped touring
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>>45328632
Besides Criticus deciding to mess with us? Nothing out of the ordinary.
>>45328699
I see, care to try that in my new empire? The people there are dumb as bricks and if you could get the children interested in necromancy then we could save the next generation from being as useless as their parents.
>>45328736
Unless someone takes up the reigns and becomes the new department head? Most likely.
>>45328763
Electromancy split off from Aeromancy long after the initial split.
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Did someone say eradicate the druids again? Because I think that would be an excellent way to solve ALL of our problems!
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>>45328736
Ah, hello Miss Samantha, pleasure to see you again
>To note, he has an actual face now.
>>45328763
>He feigns being hurt
Emilia you wound me, blow up something that resembles those who made me who I am? That's heretical.
>He chuckles
I'll give you some notice at least.
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>>45328783
OoOoOoO no you fag
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>>45328762
Talk to them about Exhibit 13. It creeps them out and they usually just walk away or something.

>>45328763
>>45328787
Right. That seems like the best thing - and we'll just have Noel stay in charge since she's the only one who's still around, I think?
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>>45328787
undead are a dying breed
>pulls a decrepit skull out of my cloak
This is all that's left of dusty
The first man...woman? I can't remember i gave the gift of unlife
>>
>>45328762
Dirjin... That Dark Elf who robbed you guys the other week? The one who made about two dozen sexual innuendos to both you and the high Elf Summoner over in the corner... Emilia was it?
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>>45328801
Dean? what the hells happened to Antruthius?
>>45328829
Sound great, so we becoming teachers?
>>45328787
It's enough to worth bring up. It's like pyromancy, but better.
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>>45328829
But how does that change me back?

>>45328842
not ringing any bells

>>45328819
I miss moose.
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>>45328801
I don't think we need to eradicate anyone. They're sometimes foolish but not particularly causing any current problems.
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>>45328842
Hey, you wouldn't be the one responsible for the giant butterfly, are you?
>>45328805
I've seen where bad blood goes, and it ain't pretty.
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>>45328863
OoOoOoOo I do too
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>>45328836
>A pair of skeletons walk in

My first two skeletons are... Not this exact pair of Shivers and Jeeves, but I tend to name my pairs of undead servants the same thing in honor of them.
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>>45328863
...well I didn't say it was a perfect plan...

>>45328855
I...guess? Though who the hell in their right mind would want to study under me?
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>>45328667
My~ Aren't you a bit bitter today? But I guess that's a staple for necromancers.

>>45328707
Oh, my most sincere apologies. I'm Teinei, a wizard specializing in the creation and understanding of space. I come from abroad and I was appointed to be an instructor for a couple of classes for the earth wizardry department, in hopes of reducing the staggering amount of wizardry towers collapsing after reaching the 35th floor.
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>>45328836
The gift of fun rice? I thought you were a necromancer not some happy-go-lucky grain weaver! Back in my day all we had was dragon wheat!

>>45328855
Antruthius? That whippersnapper? I made him from some of the skin flakes on my 3057th tentacle. Cute little guy. Looks like me when I was just under a million.

>>45328865
DON'T ERADICATE ANYONE? My word what has this guild come too?Take a little nap for a few universal life cycles and the hippies come crawling out of the woodwork!
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>>45328911
see I have a sentimental attachment to dusty
he can even talk
say something dusty
>g gg give mmme peace
shush dusty you're beginning to sound ungrateful
>>
>>45328912
I dunno, but after a talk with Pierre, I need the credit hours, and you wanted to improve on your magic. Let's scratch both our backs in a way that encourages a friendship.
>>45328960
Guys, we got another first age crazy.
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>>45328912
Fine, I guess I'll go see Faustine, see if the new head of witchcraft can help me out.
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>>45328912
I'm sure you'd make a... teacher that people would love to study under.

>>45328969
I think Dusty misses having a body.
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>>45328948
Oh and what are you going to do. build me to re-death
I am not bitter just tired of wizards with no skill making up titles for themselves to seem important
>"ooh look at me I'm Teinei, I suck at spells but gee wiz i can build a wall"
>>
>>45328892
>he shrugs
It's not in my nature to cause needless pain. But sure, I promise I will not blow up the sun.
>>45328948
Ah, a pleasure to meet you, I am Oriaja. I am not really sure what department I'm a part of.
>>45328960
I'm not a hippy, I just don't care for needless killing. We get enough of that where we're from.
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>>45328819
If it is you, then get back in here, we've missed you.
>>45328801
I couldn't agree more, we have had something of a druid infestation as of late actually. All in favour of kicking them all out of the tower?
>>45328829
Percival Cobb, Head of Hydromancy does drop by from time to time. I would prefer to have him in charge if possible.
>>45328836
>takes a closer look
You still have your first undead? That's impressive, I remember my first one, Harold, he was a farmer from the village on the other side of the hill, fell off a cliff after getting a bit too drunk and was never seen again. Well, until I found him and raised him anyway.
>>45328855
I think I'll have to agree with you on that one.
>>45328912
Nonsense, if Noel and Quin can hold departments then you should be at least halfway qualified.
>>
>>45329030
Needless killing is how I stay in the job
though druids don't have nearly enough calcium in their diet
>>
>>45329003
>>45328989
Thanks for the vote of confidence.

>>45328997
Wait, What?
>>
>>45328997
I really hope she isn't the head of witchcraft. She just have it in her.
>>45329030
I'm 99% sure that an event like that would be, in fact, rather painless.
>hehehe
Sorry, morbid humor.
>>45329038
Lazarus, elementaliism only makes sense if it's balanced, you'll still probably have to find 4 heads. of course, like a certain Aeon, if you had only one, it'd probably be electricity.
>>45329077
Sounds great!
>>
>>45328997
Why if it isn't little Jill! How's school going? Make any new friends? How about that Pine Bowl machine you were working on?

>>45328989
Crazy?! I'm not crazy! I may be a little old and not have complete control of my fifty six bladders but I'm by no means crazy!

>>45329038
My ears must not what they used to be. I thought I heard you say that somebody let those disgusting animalistic treehuggers into my tower.
>>
>>45329003
He only misses it because he regrets not taking the correct actions to prevent loss
Like not pissing off an adventurer
>>
>>45329038
NoOoOoOope, I wish that I, Spoopy Anon of Answers was secretly Ivina-anon, but alas, I am not. Here, have this.
http://i.imgur.com/WqNGQ3G.png
>>
>>45329030
You know how when your doing an ethreal jaunt through the great black abyss of the outer realms and you accidentally crush a small universe? Do you stop and weep for the thing? Of course not! That's what those furry bastards are to this existence! Little pests!.
>>
>>45329077
She hasn't told you yet?

>>45329082
Sorry, what?

>>45329087
Uhhh real good Dean Enjus.
>>
>>45329077
Though if you want to teach, get a teaching degree. It helps your credibility.

>>45329111
Fair enough. We lose so many good undead that way.
>>
>>45329082
>He laughs
It is fine, but still, guess I can say I will not cause needless deaths then.
>Holds out a pinky
I hear this is a suitable promise?
>>
>>45329115
How did you get out of the pocket dimension
off shoo shoo
>>
>>45329132
You said the new head of witchcraft. I heard Faustine got a letter about it. I hope it's some prank.
>>45329136
That is something quite good.
>holds her hand out
>>
>>45329132
Jillian dear would you be darling and rub my poor old feet? Be careful of the cosmic horrors under my toenails though, they tend to bite.
>>
>>45329132
No, she didn't. We had dinner a couple nights ago and it...she didn't even bring it up.

>>45329133
That seems like it'd take a while. I mean, I'm not against doing it, I just don't see how that helps right now.
>>
>>45329138
No u
>>
>>45329179
I don't really think, I hope, she's really going to become one.
>>
>>45329192
But the trap ...the whole necromancy wing must be infested by now
>>
>>45329125
Disgusting creature. Senile, disgusting fool.
>Turns away from him
>>45329167
>He hooks his pinky with hers
I promise that I will control myself and my powers. No compounding the gravity of this world, no exploding the sun, nothing like that. I promise.
>>
>>45329179
>Shrugs
It's what I did. But I understand it's not for everyone. I think I'm the only person in my department with one.
>>
>>45329218
Noone did it.
>>
>>45329060
Personally I find druid corpses quite excellent.
>>45329077
So, will you take over the geomancy department or not? We need at least a temporary head if we want to keep it.
>>45329087
No one let them in, but they are here nonetheless, we need to act before its too late.
>>45329115
Heh, good times. So if you aren't Ivina!anon, who are you?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>45329167
Nope. probably not. Idunno. Up to her to accept it.

>>45329176
>sigh
Okay.
>Starts rubbing your feet
>Rolling for sexiness

>>45329179
>Shrug
>>
>>45329224
I promise I might not summon Rudrashka into this world and return it back to chaos.
>>
>>45329192
OoOoOoh.
What is an anon?
>>
>>45329029
You amuse me, necromancer friend! Especially when your title is such a bold statement in comparison with mine.
And certainly, I'm not quite skilled as a wizard, but there are quite a share of uses for architecture when mixed with magic: After all, who's gonna design those traps in your tower? Rogues get craftier everyday, and most magical traps have been well documented before.

>>45329030
>bows
Nice to meet you, master Oriaja. I'm sure that you'll be appointed a position soon enough, unless you have a skill that you could share with us.
>>
>>45329255
You too, which one set off the bags.. I need to know who to punish
>>
>>45329234
...I see.

>>45329247
W-well...if you need someone's name on paper, sure. But I expect we'll just merge them all back together and it'll be moot. Don't expect much out of me.
>>
>>45329259
Ha you couldn't even conceive of my traps
I would like to see you stuff 50,000 undead rats in 20 bags of holding
>>
>>45329289
Samantha, if you want to leave your comfort zone. I don't think there's anyway for you to do it better than this, and I'm willing to be there step by step.
>>
>>45329247
OoOoOoO I am the one who boils crabs.
>>45329255
A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!
>>
>>45329224
Yeah you run away! Just like those damn clerics did in the war of -8!

>>45329247
Agreed! I shall gather my forces! Those hippies won't know what hit them, especially when I turn their nuerons into thrashing Star Spawn!
>Cackles maniacally

>>45329250
Not my Dark Matter Gland you silly girl my feet! The small sausage looking things beside the acidic tentacubes!

>>45329307
I've found the best way to take someone out of their comfort zone is with many, many tentacles.
>>
>>45329259
I am no master, no mister, just call me Oriaja, Teinei. I am only twenty mind you. As for my magic or skills, I'm able to manipulate gravity, create small stars, may start working on black holes soon. Ooh, and comets, I've made those before as well.
>>45329251
Emilia, it's already chaos. But thank you still.
>>
>>45329323
umm Who is in charge of pest extermination?
asking for a friend
>>
>>45329313
Next questioOoOoOon.
Where are all those anons who used to be among us?
>>
>>45329325
>Emilia laughs
Go to the lower planes, and head outside of them. And you'll see true Chaos, Elemental Chaos.
>>45329323
Is Pierre the one doing this?
>>45329247
If we hold onto Geomancy, does that mean I have to step in for Aeromancy?
>>
File: Marth Wyvern.jpg (177 KB, 620x877) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Excuse me. I'm looking for a "Jill fluffwap"? Apparently the couriers office made a mistake in the addresses, and we ended up receiving a package for her. It was labeled "snacks", but when I opened it up all I found were expensive Mages Guild uniforms.
>>
>>45329352
Hmmmmm well many years ago it was Pestus Extrimatus but I think I fed him to a Otyugh. So I guess the position is free! You're hired my boy!
>>
>>45329289
What? Is there something wrong with my teaching degree?
>>
>>45314354
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>45329368
I cast SHOO BEGONE
>you shall go back from whence you came
>>
>>45329323
yes of course

>>45329368
They joined steam chat and became name fags
>>
>>45329378
Jill Fluffwap isn't around anymore. Paladins or something found her, that's what I heard.
>>
>>45329379
>Not my rats not my job
>>
>>45329378
Give it here, I'll hand it over when we have lunch next
>>
>>45329289
Welcome aboard then, head of geomancy.
>>45329323
I'm looking forward to seeing what you can put together old friend. Soon we will drive them back to their forests once and for all.
>>45329377
>raises an eyebrow
Are you planing on taking the job? I wouldn't recommend taking too many responsibilities, you have your lands to take care of after all.
>>45329378
She hasn't shown up yet, but you're free to stay and wait.
>>
>>45329378
Hmm? She might show up if you wait.

Jill Fluffwrap? Is she joining us in these threads?
>>
>>45329368
OoOoOoOo Gone, they left for various reasons. Boredom, life, conflict with the group. They are all gone and may never return. OoOoOo
>>45329404
OoOoOoOo or that.

I have answers, but I am not omnipotent nor do I have the correct answers OoOoOoOo
>>
File: Lupa.png (447 KB, 933x850) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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What, you people thought you could just hold a meeting and not tell me?
>>
>>45329378
wow.. You're kinda hot
wanna throw me a "bone" heh
and go to dinner
I have great taste in wine
>>
>>45329440
Or how about you?
>>
>>45329440
Lupa, Percy ate the mailman again.
>>45329430
I have a feeling it'll be that one witch that blows everyone's clothes off if it isn't me.
>>
>>45329298
A magnificent feat to my ears! Alas, I can't quite imagine the use for it since it could take precious time to take the rats out during a combat or for a trap, yet solutions and improvements are everywhere to be found as long as motivation pushes us!
Ah, I remember this time when a necromancer asked me to find a way to connect his holding bags around, and while extremely useful to keep his undead minions, he had trouble finding his spare change afterwards.

>>45329325
>smiles
Oh, this is just my way to show my respect for your art, but I'll comply and refer to you as you ask me. Oh my, gravity? That's pretty impressive, it took me a while to harness its power correctly to create an endless staircase for a wizard.
Please don't ask what happened to that wizard
>>
>>45329440
you know for a second, yeah, I kinda did.
>>
>>45329408
Are you sure? Because several people are saying she's alive.

>>45329430
Thank you, I'll take you up on the offer.

>>45329450
Uhm...
>He'd clearly be unsure of what to do.
Uh....
>>
>>45329480
No thanks, I'm currently married.

>>45329488
OH, so when Fluffy eats a mailman, you people say he's got to be fixed, but when Percy does it, we don't fix him?
>>
>>45329497
You turn the bags inside out
all the rats
the whole shebang
>>
>>45329440
I've never been in charge of telling people when they're happening.
>>
>>45329377
>He laughs
It's true chaos out there in the stars as well as the Elemental sort.
>>45329378
>>45329519
No idea, sorry. haven't met anyone with that name around here. Just put them here.
>Pats at a spot next to him
I'll drop them off later
>>45329440
It's more we thought you'd still be content in the bottom of a bottle and would rather stay there.
>He shrugs
Or not.
>>45329497
I do not know all of its mechanics yet, but I am learning slowly. Need to maintain control of it or else, well...you cause more damage than it's worth.
>>
>>45329523
Doesn't matter
>>
>>45329307
I know. It doesn't make it easier though.

>>45329382
No, not really.

>>45329430
...oh. That was...I was expecting something a bit more...you know, involved.
>>
>>45329523
Percy killed him a lot cleaner, a lot cleaner.
>Emilia has a moment of silence for that mage Fluffy killed
>>45329546
>Emilia laughs with him
To mutual chaos then.
>>45329550
well, you know. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first plunge.
>Emilia gives her a friendly shove
>>45329519
well, no one has seen her in weeks, and kids stopped disappearing.
>>
>>45329440
>>45329523
I was sure you were informed. Guess I was mistaken. But tell me, are you the head of Fleshwarping again now that you have returned, or are you taking a vacation from department head duties?
>>45329488
Well, if you are sure.
>>45329550
What? You want a ceremony? I suppose we could put something together, but its been awhile since we had one of those. These days its just sign the paperwork and the job is yours.
>sighs
I miss the ceremonies.
>>
>>45329591
I'll make a clone or something.
>>
>>45329591
What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I'm still the head of the department I MADE.

>>45329585
Oh, so now it's about cleanliness?
>>
>>45329585
>He smiles
To mutual chaos.
>>
>>45329546
It's fine, I can wait.

>>45329585
Kids stopped... Disappearing?
>>
>>45329585
Wh-hey!
>Sam stumbles but recovers her balance
I...don't think that's how it goes.

>>45329591
I didn't need ceremony, I just...expected more paperwork.
>>
>>45329652
To mutually assured destruction
>>
>>45329669
Yeah, a lot younglings went away. Talking about fluff or something when they're back. They're still looking for Carl though.
>>45329671
So I guess that's that. we play temp-heads while the departments merge. I'm gonna try to fight Noel on that no pants rule. we can't have 4 departments pantsless.
>>
>>45329681
>The fighter, though his face would be pleasant, would still be INCREDIBLY uncomfortable at the Necromancers sudden advances.

Uh....
>>
>>45329609
>raises an eyebrow
To run your lands or to run your department?
>>45329635
Just making sure, I took a break when I returned from the dead after all.
>>45329671
Oh of course there is paperwork, but that comes after the meeting.
>>
>>45329681
Do you have an actual name or just a title? Because that title means very little to me.
>>45329669
As you wish...
>He reads his nametag
...Marth
>>
>>45329762
Yeah, but nobody cares about you.
>>
>>45329767
You read that like you've never seen or heard the name "Marth" before...
>>
>>45329767
My name is Garthok Destroyer of Suns Ruiner of lives Soaker of panties
>>
>>45329762
Lazarus old friend, would you happen to have a fresh corpse around? I seem to have emptied my flesh sacks at dinner with Azathoth and never refilled them.
>>
>>45329762
Run the department. A clone can handle a desk job, a clone can't fight, royal, attend parties, make treaties, fight, ect.
>>
>>45329725
I think of it anymore as a thought exercise - it's broad enough that you can wear plenty without risking flashing your panties to anyone at the slightest movement.
>>
>>45329809
>THe man would now be OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable with the necromancers previous advances

....

>>45329823
You said "fight" twice.
>>
>>45329822
Just give the rats time there will be plenty
>>
>>45329802
Not used to having eyes actually. Used to just reading people's histories from what the Stars tell me. Only became human again rather recently.
>>45329809
Unlikely.
>Oriaja just stares at him, his eyes have flecks of purple in them
Your name is Harold.
>>
>>45329823
Clearly your clones are, pardon my language, quite bullpoppy. I'd be happy to whip you up one if you'd like!

>Waves his hand, quickly constructing a giant writhing ball of flesh, tentacles and eyes with the exact same hairstyle.

No need to thank me,
>>
>>45329854
Fighting is pretty important where I'm from. If you're a leader, you can be challenged. Being the strongest stops you from being challenged.
>>45329836
You've become Noel-washed.
>>
>>45329876
YOU CAST DOUBT UPON GARTHOK
>>
>>45329809
I somehow find that highly unlikely.
>>
>>45329876
Horrifying... Also I could believe his name is Harold.
>>
>>45329927
I take much offence to that
I might have to take back my offer
>>
>>45329903
Emilia. Look at me.
>>
>>45329902
Hello other me, do the world a favor and go walk into a Sphere of Destruction.
>>45329954
Samantha, no it spreads!
>Emilia looks at her
>>
>>45329952
>He'd once again be INCREDIBLY disturbed at this.
I shudder at the thought...
>>
>>45329921
Yes, yes I do Harold. I cast doubt on you.
>>45329927
It was only a little more than a decade. Not too much of a big deal.
>Eyes turn back to normal
So tell me about yourself, Marth, how did you become such an accomplished fighter and a champion at that?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>45329987
WELL I CAST
SUMMON UNDEAD ARMY
>>
>>45327748
Someone badgered me into picking the Subdivision back up...

Anyways as the head of a department within a department, one without a Head mind you, I fully support folding departments together.
>>
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I forgot we were even having these meetings.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>45330013
Attempt to bluff
They're invisible
>>
>>45329987
You spend a few years killing things with a Longsword while traveling and it kinda just happens. I will admit though, the health benefits are awesome!
>>
>>45329979
Do I look like I'm planning on turning into someone who would do crude like what you're suggesting?
>Sam's visage is completely stonefaced, as rigid and set in her ways as if she's embodying the very concept of stillness.
>>
>>45329979
Oh there's no need for that! You said you wanted it to fight so I implanted a Sphere of Destruction into every pore of its body! That should keep those pesky neighbor boys away right?
>Happy gurgling from the clone

>>45330013
Harold. What have I told you about summoning zombies in the common room?
I mean they don't even have ONE tentacle. You're doing it wrong!
>>
>>45330038
longsword you say
>you brought this upon yourself
>>
>>45330014
would you be under, or above Talo?
>>45330033
>looks at him
Excuse me, did you just double dip?
>>45330023
Hello, Parati.
>>45330041
>Emilia cracks
>she's hiding a smile just wanting to see Samantha's reaction
M-maybe.
>>45330053
My god, the gods are dead.
>>
>>45330078
Who?

I'm going to assume above. Inexplicably.
>>
>>45330078
No such thing
They are invisible after all
>>
>>45330033
>Oriaja peers at him
I really don't care, you're not going to get anything from me.
>Drinks his coffee, then sets it down.
>>45330038
I would think so. Spent quite a few years walking around telling stories and performing for the children. Had to hold off an attack every once in a while.
>>
>>45329790
Sure, nobody.
>>45329822
How fresh do you need it to be?
>>45329823
We clearly have a different set of priorities. But then again, the aeromancers doesn't make a lot of trouble.
>>
>>45330063
Can we PLEASE do something about this guy?
>>
>>45330078
Hello, Ms Emilia. Been a time.
>>
>>45330078
. . .
>Sam is maintaining the stonefaced look pretty well.
>>
>>45330108
Just admit that my name is GARTHOK ect. ect.
>>
File: 1454442993248.jpg (401 KB, 1395x1377) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hello, friends.

Just popping in to remind you that the greatest magic is your imagination, and your greatest gift is creation.

The world can always use more happy little trees. I hope you all find the good times through the bad.
>>
>>45330023
OH SHIT! One of the Owlbears from the Guilds basement arena that were accidentally made sentient escaped!
>>
>>45330116
Just ignore him, that's what I always do.

>>45330148
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU DAMN DIRTY DRUID.
>>
>>45330116
how about a friendly duel
you win I stop
I win I may stop i don't even know myself
>>
>>45330134
Nah. Not feeling it. Honestly, you're not as bad as the desiccated corpse being who thinks himself a dean but whatever. Your name is still Harold by the way.
>>45330148
>Oriaja waves
Thank you!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>45330112
Hm, I see.
>>45330119
I've been quite well, how does the hunt?
>>45330132
>immortality vs. the endurance of the Geomancy
>who gives first
>rolling
>>
>>45330078
Eh the gods are a bunch of pansies anyways! Pelor STILL refuses to arm wrestle me even after i unfused the parallel dimensions from my muscle fibers. Some people just don't know respect.

>>45330112
Within the past 5 seconds would be perfect. The soul needs to be just leaving the body for the star spawn to see it.

>>45330148
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BOBIUS. I'LL PULL THOSE GOD DAMNED HAPPY LITTLE TREES OUT YOUR EYEHOLES AFTER I FUCK YOUR HIPPIE ASS WITH MY HAPPY LITTLE FIST.
>>
>>45330191
HAROLD The most Illustrious and most magnificent Necromancer in the land
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>45330148
>A redrobe tries to get him on fire
>>
>>45330158
..
Never call me a owlbear again.
>He is literally a owl
>>45330196
Quite well. Feasts have come along well, and only a few angry necromancers and ectomancers chased brothers off lands.
>>
File: vanilla ice.jpg (87 KB, 800x600) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I say we hold a posing contest. It would surely solve all our problems.
>>
>>45330116
>Narrows his eye
Where have I seen you before?
>>
>>45330211
>A redrobe steps himself on fire
Oh god, AHHHH! Put me out, put me out!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>45330196
>The stone endures
>>
>>45330238
Why do I find this incredibly Ironic?
>>
>>45330205
The absolute worst.
>>45330220
Has it ended yet?
>>45330252
>Emilia backs down, intimidated
You don't have to push it so hard...
>Emilia lowers her head and ears
>>
>>45330224
GOD DAMN IT, NOT ANOTHER ONE. ONE OILED-UP POSING WEIRDO IS ENOUGH.

>>45330205
Also, who the hell is this guy?
>>
>>45330209
There you go, good to admit things like that every once in a while. A title isn't everything, you know.
>>
>>45330148
Your nametag seems to have fallen off.
>>45330116
No, we cannot. I like him.
>>45330175
Best of luck to you.
>>45330205
Well I don't think I-
>points at the redrobe >>45330211 >>45330238
Good news Enjus, we got one!
>>
>>45330225
The Adventurers Guild perhaps? Though I find that unlikely.
>>
>>45330272
No, still two more weeks to go.
>>
>>45330291
Nonono...

Although I have to check them out...
>Rubs his chin
You ever been to a Drachen Braufest?
>>
>>45330272
I'm in my element, after all - I'm barely trying.
>Sam's gaze softens all the same.
>>
File: sensible chuckle.gif (1 MB, 448x252) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>45330276
Out of the way, loser. You will experience the glory of well trained abs now.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>45330322
Can I try
Ego vs endurance
>>
>>45330272
>Rubs her head a little bit
There there, don't look so down. It makes me sad.
>>
>>45330317
Once... But only to kill skeletal dragons lich "Arcacrackedspine"
>>
>>45330307
Yeah, yeah....
>>45330322
>this kills the Emilia
>Emilia trots out ashamed
>>45330352
Talk to you later.
>>
>>45330328
Ugh, you mean those hideous things that probably don't function as well as they look? No thank you. I'm all for aesthetics, but it has to work, you damn oil fiends.
>>
>>45330360
I knew him
He was kind of an ass
>>
>>45330276
Ah yes Fleshwarping. I quite enjoy that magic. Seeing an elf's expression when you turn their eyeballs into baby teeth is just hilarious.

As for who I am....uh. I can't quite remember. Say boy! >>45330307 Who am I again?

>>45330290
Do you hear that kiddo? That's the sound of a forest dying somewhere in the world. It's a beautiful sound.

>>45330322
>Whispering in her ear with a mouth-tipped tentacle.
You kids and your staring contests. Don't worry, I'll make it so you can't lose!
>The tentacle kisses her on each eye, harmlessly sucking off her eyelids.
>>
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>>45330368
What kind of fleshwarper are you if you can't even appreciate the perfection of a muscle packed body?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>45330365
>When will elf learn that you can't outstubborn a rock?

>>45330350
This can only end poorly.
>>
>>45330365
I'll be up on the roof if you want to talk, Emilia.
>Waves a little sadly as she leaves
>>
>runs in, screaming
THE FLESHWARPER DEPARTMENT IS INFESTED WITH HUES! THEY'RE LEAKING IN, EVERYWHERE!
>>
>>45330402
It seems my ego is just as stubborn as stone
>>
>>45330400
One that hates when too much is packed in that it really makes it look almost grotesque.

>>45330426
>eye twitches
What the hell did you touch?
>>
>>45330426
you sure it's not undead rats.. I lost 50,000 of them earlier
>>
>>45330426
aw shoot, I spent a millennium bottling those hues.
>>
>>45330392
Tell me about it... He only bit off every THIRD toe from the people he was lording over...
>>
>>45330449>>45330399
>Throws up
Eugh....go be eldritch somewhere else...
>>
>>45330439
>>45330442
>>45330449
>Hundreds of Hues burst in and eat the Mage
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
>Imagine a gigantic fur ball that was puked on then thrown into the mud over and over
>Now imagine a ton of tentacles on in
>And now imagine a permanent smile on its face
>And then have it have legs that smell like shit
>That's a Hue
>And hundreds are leaking in
>>
>>45330464
ha I gave him that idea as a joke
>>
>>45330478
Well, this will be fun.
>>
>>45330478
Well it's not the rats sooo
not my problem
>>
>>45330322
Well done.
>>45330350
>>45330402
Seems you are evenly matched in this contest.
>>45330399
Indeed it is.
>>45330478
>raises an eyebrow
I thought we exterminated those at least a month ago.
>>
>>45330478
SQUIGGLES!!
I THOUGHT I SAID NO SNACKS BEFORE DIN-DIN! NOW GO BACK TO YOUR STABLE AND TAKE THE REST OF YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOU! MOMMY IS IN A MEETING!
>>
>>45330478
>Draws his sword
>He whistles at them
Come 'ere! Come 'ere! Come 'Ere little guys, who are good abominations? You are!
>>
>>45330504
>>45330517
>>45330505
>>45330554
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE.
>The stupid fucks begin running into things, knocking over mages and magical items
>>45330540
>one looks up
>he sounds like your stereotypical black guy
BUT MUM, IT GOT SO BORING IN THERE!
>>
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(Rolling for a sobriety check)
'Ello? 'ELLO? I 'eard somfink 'bout wizahds in baffroves? Mah pointy-hat friend in the sky sez I ought'a stop boy and check this place out. My name's Krangus, and I drink from meh dwarven cask so that I can preserves the knowledge, like prie-serving your ach...your alchem...yer potion stuff!
>>
>>45330478
Fiiinne if everyone else is joining the fun I might as well
>sarcastically
begone. shoo. have at thee
>>
>>45330567
>>45330554
>>45330540
>>45330478
What..The...Fuck....
>>
>>45330567
I DON'T CARE, I LEFT YOU WITH PLENTY OF CHEW TOYS FOR ALL OF YOU. NOW GET BACK THERE BEFORE I GET FLUFFY IN HERE TO EAT SOME OF YOU!
>>
>>45330567
I begin pulling undead rats from under my robe
>like hundereds
>>
>>45330593
Holy shit! A dwarf!
>>
>>45330593
>>
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Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>45330567
I cast holy dubstorm (instakill if dubs)
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>45330597
>>45330612
>>45330629
>They all crash straight through walls and into the restrooms
>Screaming is heard
HUEHUEHUEHUEHU-
>one looks up
Wait, no no no, dont fucking go into the restrooms guys. That isn't cool.
>Everyone says aww
>They then look at the mages
>And attempt to eat them!
>>45330616
No mummuh! I am my own man now!
>>
>>45330636
Are... Are you serious...?
>>
>>45330636
Mother of Glittergold's hobbit hole, it's a dragonborn!
>>
>>45328219
>>
>>45330593
Welcome to the mages guild Krangus, alchemists are always welcome here.
>>45330612
Don't worry, this doesn't happen that often anymore, we got tired of them and drove the things to near extinction recently.
>>45330677
BEGONE!
>>
>>45330677
>They fucking eat eachother.
>Wow.
>>45330672
>WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A /tv/ THREAD?!
>YOU'RE NOT THE BIG GUY HERE
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>45330677
I cast throw rats at it
>>
>>45330687
Dwarves tend to be rare on the surface. In Aen at least.

So yeah. Deadly.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>45330677
>rolling for punching the shit out of them
>>
>>45330733
>>45330713
>>45330694
>well you're beating up, throwing rats at, and yelling at hues who are panic eating eachother
>Lupa is a terrible mother.
>>
>>45330691
This anon gets it! Alcoholic Internet Brofist!
>>
>>45330763
>the absolute worst, since she wants to kill her first kids.
>>
>>45330763
Undead rats mind you
>>
>>45330691
Indeed.

Metallic to boot! Guess we're both weirdo's here...
>>
>>45330694
Ah do a lit'l bit o' potioning on the side, me main focus is worship, and know-ledge. Tha's why I came, ya see? I wash hoping to ken if we knowledge-holdin clerics could partake in the council. I'd rather hope I can represent us prayin' folk amongst yer magicking type fellows.

>>45330677

On a side note, I find holy water to be fairlee useful 'gainst things that go in yer restroom.
>>
File: squirrel.jpg (44 KB, 620x349) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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44 KB, 620x349
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>45330677
So my dubstorm missed, too bad. I summon my Killer Squirrel (Bloodlusted)!
>>
I need the magical equivalent of blinker fluid
>>
>>45330781
>>
>Teuivae blushes for some reason
>>
>>45330775
Trifista!
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>45330777
>>45330784
>>45330801
>>45330799
>You bastards
>All those innocent hues who dindu nuff-
>Oh who am I fucking kidding.
RETREAT, RETREAT!
>They attempt to run away into the bathrooms!
>>
>>45330799
I see, well as long as you have knowledge to share then you're welcome to stay.
>>
>>45330781
>>45330808
You can start any guild you want, Though we have a few of the common ones covered already (Thieves, Fighters and so on) but that just means we would join in if we wanted to, Atmosphere is largely based on who is playing to provide the atmosphere, In mages guild the threads are a lot more random than the Archives, where we go on for about 5000 or so posts before we make a new thread.
>>
>>45330808
You REALLY need to stop linking both Guilds together!
>>
>>45330846
YOU GET BACK HERE AND I MIGHT JUST PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AFTER I KILL YOU!
>>
>>45330806
Wasnt clear, I mean i need to know what the equivilent item would be, like sending the rookie out to get blinker fluid or somesuch. But magic.
>>
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>>45330860
I might start one for urban fantasy and new weird fiction, a sort of World of Darkness meets China Miéville.
>>
File: squirrel2.jpg (38 KB, 1024x576) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>45330846
No one can escape the squirrel.
>>
>>45330911
Heu. Sounds like that'll be full circle to the old urban fantasy threads i posted in before i found mages guild.
>>
roll+1d20

Welp, ges I'll have to clean them la-vay-tor-ies with mah prayin' stick and some 'holy' oil. I'll be back in a moment.
>>
>>45330171
You mistake me, friend. I am no druid, though I respect their ways- I admire the art of magic as much as any of you, but the beauty of nature too. Sometimes, you just need to take the time to enjoy a sunset, the reflection on a lake, or the wind blowing through the tall grass.

Remember that magic is as much study as it is an art. Nature and nurture.

>>45330205
It's alright if you're going through some bad times, Enjus. Just have to remember that good times will come if you let them.

>>45330290
A happy little accident. I've conjured a new one.


I'm off. I hope your meeting goes well- See you next time.

>With that, the nature-mage disappears in a swirl of glowing leaves, leaving behind a small bonsai tree in his stead.
>>
>>45330948
Go home, you're metadrunk.
>>
ATTENTION ALL
it is of great regret to say that
The most Illustrious and most magnificent Necromancer in the land
is needed elsewhere to deal with an unrelated army of sentient undead rats
I know I know
just when marth was about to confess his "I think" love for me
but alas it is my time to go so I bid you adieu
>flips everyone off , bows the in a puff of purple smoke in his visage he vanishes
>>
>>45330966
...could stop talking in that almost whisper? It's a little creepy.
>>
>>45330929
>>45330872
>the squirrel mauls the rest of the hues
>they all die, blood everywhere
>you monsters
>now a terrible stench fills the entire hall
>>
>>45330935
>>45330994
>>
>Candor stumble into the room, her eyes wild, dripping sweat and gasping for breath. She leans back against the door frame, gulping in air and scanning the room intently. Her usually immaculate but modest clothing is ragged and torn in places, and she's bleeding from a number of small cuts. In her hands is an especially large crossbow, the sort you wind with a crank and use to put church window sized holes in things. She reaches up to dust what appears to be fragments of pink eggshell from her hair.

"Has anyone seen a rabbit, recently? At all? Perhaps?"
>>
>>45331037
ugh, I knew those things were a mistake.
WHERE'S THE JANITOR.

>>45331062
What, you mean Hoppy? What about him?
>>
>>45330984
Don't be a stranger.
>>45331062
Not recently, no. Why do you ask?
>>
>>45328103
>>
>>45331101
Hey, Laz. Did you consider my offer?
>>
>>45331142
>raises an eyebrow
To take Adam's debt? I fail to see why I would want anyone else to handle it. He offered to take care of it on his own, and he has been of a lot of use to me.
>>
>>45330969
I must apologize for my newfaggotry. Dice was the one thing that was not explained by google.
>Krangus proceeds to get pissed at Elsimore for not explaining how gambling works.
>>
>Appears in the archive
I did it! Finally! I summoned the helium elemental Master!
>Its a balloon
>She looks proud of herself
>>
>>45331240
Yeah man just trust the sticky on Page 1.
>>
>>>/lit/7676729
>>
>>45331234
Because it's debt that should be mine. He went through that trouble to help me.

Besides Adam doesn't have a gullible brother with a road map to the best grave in town.
>>
>>45331240
Don't worry about it. And it's dice+1d20 in the options field if you want to give it a go.
>>45331260
This is the main meeting hall, who is your master?
>>
>>45331260
>The snow owl looks at her
Er..are you lost?
>>
>>45331260
... That's a balloon.
>>
>>45331260
>He claps, and gives her a small smile.
Very nice job miss, I applaud you.
>>
>>45331089
>>45331101

>Candor attempts a reassuring smile, succeeding primarily in awkwardly pulling back her lips and displaying her teeth.

"Oh. No reason. Nothing to be worried about."

>She reaches into her pockets and tosses a few handfuls of what appears to be sea salt onto the floor as she begins to back out of the room.

"If you do see him, try not to look -directly- at him. He doesn't like salt, or pure iron. Fire just seems to upset him."

>She stops and looks at everyone in turn, her eyes wide, sweat pouring down her face.

"Don't eat the eggs."

>She slams the door and can be heard sprinting away down the corridor.
>>
>>45331260
... Wow... thought it didn't get any lower...
>>
>>45331240
Don't sweat it man. We where all new fags once.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>45331260
I'm... truly amazed! No, really, you did good!

>Rolling to bluff
>>
>>45331296
>crosses his arms
I'm listening. How many corpses are we talking about here?
>>45331324
Noted.
>>
>>45331262
Tried trusting that, which got me here because I can't find the fabled email field. Let's try one more time
roll+1d20


Shit, almost forgot. Alcoholic internet brofist!
>>
>>45331297
He should be here, He said he would be here if I summoned the elemental!
>>45331315
You're a balloon.
>Sticks her tongue out
>>45331319
Thanks!
>>
>>45331328
Rude.
>>45331345
You don't need to be sarcastic, Thats worse than being rude.
>>
>>45331324
...What a freak. Hoppy is the sweetest little darling.

>>45331353
I will make you a balloon if you keep sassing me.
>>
>>45331260
How old are you kid?
>>
>>45331353
So what's your master's name?
>>
>>45331382
>Pops out of a wall
You need coffee?
>>
>>45331382
I'm sorry. I was trying to be supportive.
>>
>>45331346
Ten.

Three metallic Dragonlords and their retinue, ancient wyrms in their own right.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

[/spoiler]Dear god. I think it worked.[/spoiler]

>Kramgus walks out of the restroom, missing one glove, some singed beard hair and a bit less sanity.

Sure hope tha's a restroom, otherwise you had a room that smelt like some kinda plague back thar. Anywho, should be fairly clean now.
>>
>>45331412
What the Fuck! I've been here for hours and I wasn't offered any!

>>45331382
Oh no, I'm not talking about you. Just the world in general!
>>
>>45331388
Don't you have a bottle to be at the bottom of, Lupa?
>>
>>45331404
Physically, Mentally, or actually?
>>45331407
I don't know, how many wizards in red robes can there be though?
>>45331412
No, thanks!
>>45331414
Well you didn't do a very good job.
>Pout
>>45331388
>Shes ignoring Lupa, I mean I would just not reply but its not easy to convey that sort of thing ICly if you don't point it out
>>45331437
That doesn't make any sense.
>>
>>45331437
That's because I have been helping out with my sisters kids. Do you know how much trouble half giant babies get into?
>>45331455
Ok then
>>
>>45331455
Trust me... My soul is right now in several different dimensions. SO on a cosmological scale it all makes sense
>>
>>45331455
I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.
>>
>>45331455
Yes.
>>
>>45331445
My husband is out buying more at the moment, since the guild is now empty.

>>45331455
Don't you ignore me, you little shit, I will turn you inside out.
>>
>>45331455
>Oriaja sighs
You'd be surprised, also, I think you may have been tricked, young miss. The redrobes around here are notorious pranksters. How long have they been your master?
>>
>>45331353
Well I don't think you're one of mine, I'm terrible at elementalism.
>>45331427
Metalic dragons? Well that does change things a bit. I'm not willing to let you take the entire debt, but I'm more than willing to let this go towards clearing it, and quite a bit towards it as well.
>>45331455
Quite a few actually, not so many of them masters however...
>>
>>45331494
Riiiight.
>>45331500
Now you just sound even more sarcastic!
>>45331505
That was not a yes or no question.
>>45331508
Try me old lady.
>>45331512
Whuh? But he said he could teach me to use my magic.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

Hmmm, ah wonder if I can still do that magick trick Sir Elsimore tried to teach meh. It's a bit crazier every'time, hope it does something less drastic.

rolling to cast Comprehend Language because of this damned Scotdwarf accent.
>>
>>45331549
Just tell me your actual age.
>>
>>45331568
Thirty Two. Physical around 17, Mental around 20.
>>
>>45331549
What type of magic are you capable of then?
>>
>>45331549
>If looks could kill, you would have a fate worse then death.
>Then starts to break out crying.
YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M A HIDEOUS OLD HAG!
MY ROTTEN FUCKING KIDS, I'M ENJOY KILLING THEM WHEN I FINALLY DO FOR TRAPPING ME IN THIS DISGUSTING BODY.
>looks only about 30, and a very good 30 at that.
>>
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>>45331549
I could teach you some even more impressive magic if you transfer to my department. New admissions have gotten a little slow, something about broken bones and internal bleeding. All nonsense.
>>
>>45331594
I don't know enough fancy words, That was one of the things they said they would teach me!
>>45331609
Yes that's what i'm saying.
>>45331612
I don't think I have the right...Bodytype for that sort of magic.
>>
While I know this subject may have to wait for the next council meeting, I move we formalize the rule sets for underground sport of Wizard Ball.
>>
>>45331588
Damn it.
>pays some guy 10 gold
>>
>>45331633
>Oriaja sighs
Miss, I do believe you've been tricked.
>Extends a hand, a small grin on his face
Oriaja Ferun, guy who does some stuff with space. Pleasure to meet you.
>>
>>45331670
>Collects the money then spits in your face
>>
>Though a dwarf on it's own can be rare in this parts, a dwarf speaking with a royal sounding accent is downright absurd.

This...this is very refreshing, speaking in a comprehensible voice like this, though if it's anything like the last time, my sobriety will come and go like 'me wife Alice, Kromgol bless 'er soul.'
>Krangus coughs a little, then returns to his 'fancy voice'

I wonder... if I am to learn a small amount of spellsorcery, I.

>>45331612
You, sir! Archmagi of the Punchomancy! Care for an arm-wrestle?
>>
>>45331653
Oh, the Adventurers Guild already has that going on.
>>
>>45331694
Would someone do that? Just go to the Mages guild and trick me?
I am Nesha Nesha Arrim!
>She gives a firm handshake, Like any martial would. Its not comfortable for most casters.
>>
>>45331633
Can you make a fist and use some form of magic?
>>
>>45331756
Who here cant?
>>
>>45331746
>Oriaja returns the pressure, except even a little more so
And yes, a lot of red robes would try to trick you. They're jerks like that.
>>
>>45331717
10/10 RIP Wozzy the Wyzzard
>>
>>45331813
That's very rude of them, How am I supposed to learn magic now!
>>
> a purple cloud smelling of dead rats appears
I HAVE RETURNED
>>
>>45331549
Redrobes tend not to last very long, your master is likely already dead.
>>45331653
Oh? Is that what the apprentices are up to these days?
>>45331861
How did the rat problem go?
>>
>>45331756
By technicality, it's divine 'magic,' but yes, I can form a fist with it. Funny you mention it actually, one of the altar boys liked to call me 'Muscle Cleric' after I stopped him from getting punched a few times. Alas, I'm stalling.

>Kramgus holds up his golem figurine/holy symbol and conjures forth a Spiritual Weapon, specifically the Fist of Elsimore, which, being the fist of an elderly wizard, isn't the most beautiful thing to look at. But it's a fist, nonetheless.
>>
>>45331881
I need 50,000 new rats but otherwise ok
>>
>>45331706
Of Course!
>>45331808
1. Very insensitive to your fellow mages who lack what we can hands.
2. That's basically all you need to be a punchomancer. Muscles are a byproduct of the punch magic, not a requirement to cast. Although it helps
>>
>>45331612
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/40740434/#q40740434
>>
>>45331832
Hmm, well, you could always enroll in the guild normally. Take some classes, find yourself. The Redrobes aren't the only people who can teach you magic, actually, they're never the people to go to about magic.
>>
>>45331881
That really sucks.
>>45331905
I suppose its also insensitive to people who can't do magic. That would suck.
>>45331923
That's a good idea, But I never could figure out how.
>>
>>45331949
>I suppose its also insensitive to people who can't do magic. That would suck.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
>>
>>45331973
Chill out lady. Do some knitting or something. Get some cats.
>>
Sooo we did never end up deciding who got what job
>>
>>45331992
You have no idea how bad an idea saying those things was.
>>
>>45331915
Why? Maybe I don't wanna.
>>
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>>45331992
THAT'S IT.
>whistles
SMILEY, COME HERE AND HAVE A SNACK
>the beast enters and looks around
>>
>>45331949
After the meeting we can go get the paperwork sorted out, we'll do a tour, you decide a department. It's relatively simple from what I hear.
>>
>>45331902
It's a good thing those things breed like crazy then.
>>45331949
My advice is to find a new master, there are plenty of people around here who could use an apprentice.
>>45332011
Geomancy and Aeromancy has new department heads, it might be a temporary measure before we merge them all into a unified department of elementalism. Not sure about the other departments.
>>
>>45332027
AHHH what in the hells is that
I swore I wiped one off my shoe the other day
You sure that is not just an oversized parasite
>>
>>45332056
Thats how I got 50,000 in the first place
I put 4 in a bag of holding and then there were 50,000 almost ovvernight
>>
>>45332027
Lupa! I thought we all discussed feeding apprentices to your creatures! Only ones from your own department...
>>
>>45331905
Well then, sit on down at this here conveniently placed table, and I'll explain the way I learned it in my homeland of Erythnia. As my great-grandfather used to say:

"If ye want to take sometink on in a battle of fists, use yer weakest magic, lack that Spirit Fist thing they tell ya in Cleric school, then try sumtink new, like Control Water to make yer flagon o' drink into a fist-hand o' destruction! The average bout takes about twenty seconds, so long ye last for twelve of them seconds, yer the victor."

Three separate posts, each with a dice roll, best two of three rolls wins.

>Krangus places his Spirit Fist on the table.

Ready when you are, old bean.
>>
>>45332022
Whats an old lady with no magic gonna do?
>>45332027
Puppy!
>Squeeeee
>She runs over and starts scratching its chin
>>
>>45332056
That sounds difficult considering how long it took me just to find my way back here.
>>
>>45332106
Noo don't touch that disgusting creature
>>
>>45332106
>Averts eyes
>Does not wish to be witness to the bloodbath which is about to ensue
>>
>>45332097
Well, she isn't a part of any department, so she's free game!

>>45332106
>Smiley starts kicking his leg happily as his smile gets wider.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU STUPID CREATURE!? EAT HER ALREADY!
>>
>scratches himself
>>
>>45332135
I call dibs on the remains
>>
>>45332150
>Scratches frank's ass
>>
>>45332147
Whoseagoodboy whoseagoodboy is it you? Its you!
>Scritch scritch scritch
>>45332119
Its a cute puppy, how could it be disgusting?
>>
>>45332118
What would you like to practice, you don't have to use long words, just describe what you'd like to do.
>Oriaja makes a small blue sun spin on his fingers
>>
>>45332168
Look at it
It has sentience
It knows more that a creature of it's stature should
>>
>>45332175
Well I can put things in stasis, and myself. And I think one time I lit something on fire.
>>45332192
So do we.
>>
>>45332168
>Smiley rolls over onto his back, tail wagging.
>Lupa starts kicking at it.
GET UP, YOU DAMN IDIOT AND EAT THE LITTLE GIRL LIKE THE WOLF I MADE YOU FROM.
>>
>>45332206
It is a beast that has the knowledge of a man
it needs to be contained
>>
>>45332164
>you get splinters
>>
>takes megaphone
>yells into it
ALRIGHT BITCHES, VACATE THE PREMISES! ANTRUTHIUS IS ABOUT TO START HIS COCAINE BASH AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
>We move to Archives!
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/45327748/
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/100/45327748/
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/50/45327748/
>>
>>45332206
>He grimaces
I'd suggest you stay away from pyromancy. Not sure where stasis fits in. Hmm. I know there's a department for you, just like me, even if I haven't found mine yet
>>
>>45332228
That's rude, I'm sure hes a good boy.
>>45332249
I hope so!
>>
>>45332286
>sigh
Apprentices
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>45332103
Let's do this then. Tally-ho!
>>
>>45332286
Well, I'll be outside if you want to go on that tour, check out the archives! They're pretty fun! Best of luck either way Nesha!
>Oriaja walks out
Have to go.
>>
>>45332286
>Smiley is nuzzling up to the small girl.
>Lupa screams in unimaginable rage.
YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT, EAT THE GIRL OR I WILL TEAR YOU BACK INTO YOUR CONSTITUENT PIECES.
>>
>>45332346
Hes such a nice dog, Maybe I was wrong about you, How a pet acts says a lot about their owner!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>45332314
>Krangus casts mage hand.
May the best spell win, sir.
>>
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>>45332352
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>45332368
The beginning of the match is a tie, hmm, perhaps if I try to combine the spiritual hand with the mage hand...

>Kramgus feels a bead of sweat fall from his forhead as he pushes the two hand spells together.

Well, ah hope my grand-pappy was right about combining spells.
>>
>>45332244
>How does one fall asleep during a magic arm wrestling match? Krangus might have been able to tell you, had he not fallen to the ground in a drunken stupor.

Never change, /tg/. At least, not until the next thread.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>45332426
Well, I see I will need to actually use magic for this. It has been a long time since someone was a match for me in terms of strength.

>Casts "Gravity Arm"

Also probably move to the archive. Link is here http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/45327748/#q45332426
>>
>>45332537
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/100/45327748/#q45332426_2

Join in man
>>
>>45330911
>>45330935
>>45333476
Thread replies: 430
Thread images: 37
Thread DB ID: 510977



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