Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! First of all I would like to congratulate everyone on handling the outbreak of stray portals across over the guild. The ones responsible have been found and been dealt with. A year in the plane of bees should show them not to portal away my private stash.
Now, there has been talk lately how a lot of the department heads haven't been seen in a while, apparently it took the head of the Pyromancy department three months to return after being lost for anyone to care. The head of Divination is still on his extended vacation, the head of Illusion hasn't been seen for decades, even though her department claims she's still around, the head of Chronomancy isn't due to show up for another year or so after he jumped ahead hoping for more interesting times and the head of Entropomancy is said to have turned into nothingness or something. Anyway with the heads of Geomancy and Aeromancy both retiring today, on top of all these no-shows, people have been talking about assigning replacements. Normally I would just let the departments handle this internally but it's getting out of hand so give me some options here!
Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
>Crashes through a wall.
HEAD FERROMANCER, CHECKING IN!
Ah yes, I enthusiastically have awaited this to make a push for our idea of a new department.
>holds his hands out like he's making a sign but nothing happens
The Magistrate of Twilight Arts and Studies!
Hmm, well, what qualifications are required? That's the real question isn't it?
Is it just your idea? Because it sounds like something you made up to feel important.
Ah. This is quite the predicament.
Also does anyone have a potion of youth? I seem to have aged myself a century or two.
It is bizarre having actual eyes again, being human..ish again.
I'm not sure if I'm even technically part of a department. Astromancy is similar but I don' know if they have a Head or not.
Just merge the departments into already existing ones. Perhaps it's time to bring back the department of elementalism and return all its subdepartment back under one roof?
>Walks in, yawning.
Don't be rude Teu...You know the problems with the moon have my sleeping schedule confused...
No need to worry , your savior has come.
I apologize but I am not qualified to join, nor do I have much interest in the art. I do respect you for it though.
>Looks decidedly unimpressed, but still he smiles.
It is a possibility, hmm, but what if we have the same situation as what happened a couple meetings ago.
>He smiles and waves
Arivae, now is finally an opportunity to open the department we talked about! Now you can have an office to play with your flowers in.
That would be my wonderful sister.
Here have you been? Last I heard adventurers had found your crypt with the intention of ending you and then we didn't hear from you for years!
Departments wanting to break free? Preposterous!
And hello to you as well.
Teu, I'm not in a rush. I do have the garden to share, so you don't need to worry about me...
>Looks down at herself.
>Is engulfed in a column of light, which fades away.
Wazzup guys. I volunteer for the treasury department. Yeah. Treasury.
Good to hear you're alright. Personally I got myself my own evil empire going, well, technically not mine, but sometimes being the man behind the throne is much more enjoyable than sitting on it.
We aren't falling for that one again, not after that incident with Don, the Amazing and Trustworthy Mage.
You kill one guy but don't want to get caught so you hide his body in the family crypt
This happens a few doze times and what do you know. I've been cutting the hedges in the exact shape of a sacrificial circle
the rest is history
There was a lot of unnecessary bloodshed.
You are Arivae then? A pleasure to meet you, I am Oriaja.
>His smile is innocent
Aww, that's too bad.
>He frowns, then frowns even deeper
Having an actual face is a bizarre experience.
Jokes over now guys, change my skin back to the proper color
I for one would one would be for this, because I am /not/ becoming the head of Aeromancy.
I am just a humble performer and storyteller, Arivae, and I am rather young. Very few would know of me.
Yes, but I am not you.
>He stretches his jaw a little
I haven't had an actual face for most of my life now. Thought I would never see what I would look like as an adult.
At least their deaths served a purpose then
Oh my gods! It wasn't sister Herrani who opened that portal to hell in my Guilds basement! It was you Assholes! Thanks to you guys, We had four, COUNT THEM! FOUR portals to Hell, open up in our Guild!
I demand immediate compensation for this! I lost 47 priests, and 12 Paladins from "The Departmentos Lawfully Stupidious" thanks to you guys!
Aw, you just need to talk to her Teu. Don't worry, she'll warm to you again.
Now, don't take that attitude. I'm sure in time your stories will become legendary.
Very much so. It's good to have you back.
Indeed they did. It helped negate the great corpse shortage we were suffering from, we are more or less back to normal by now.
Not my department, not my problem.
It is a simple fact Arivae. One I am content with for the moment. Just happy to see the world through normal eyes again.
It is...nice, to feel human again. As for the moon, its creation was a moment of...clarity, I would say. I am not completely sure myself.
Glad to hear it, though it's not truly my area of expertise.
So you can enter a Zen like state for some real wonders.
Wait, the head of the Geomancy department is retiring?
...We HAD a geomancy department?
Ooh, I've heard about your coffee, now that I have taste buds I would like to try a cup.
I suppose so, it's rather strange. Having a face again, a body again, I think the clarity was what helped cement it.
Kinda sounds like astrology.
My, my, what's up with the necromancy department today?
So, what are your plans now that you have returned to the guild? Planning on nabbing a department that's up for grabs or will you be working with me?
Of course we did, we have had a geomancy department since pyromancy split of from the department of elementalism leading to the other three departments, hydromancy, geomancy and aeromancy, splitting off as well.
It will depend on what is needed of me, would rather not push my luck. I want to figure out my lot in life.
Hello! What's your name?
>Takes a cup and takes a sip
Mm, nice to taste again.
Sam help! I'm been turned into art by the blue men group! >>45328226
Thanks. Thanks a fucking lot.
Don't forget Electromancy and Ivana's take on it, made it rather popular, now with a missing head.
I and other people would greatly appreciate it if you didn't blow up our sun, if the idea ever crosses your mind.
well I don't plan on being a head, and neither do you I imagine, maybe we can become teachers.
Besides Criticus deciding to mess with us? Nothing out of the ordinary.
I see, care to try that in my new empire? The people there are dumb as bricks and if you could get the children interested in necromancy then we could save the next generation from being as useless as their parents.
Unless someone takes up the reigns and becomes the new department head? Most likely.
Electromancy split off from Aeromancy long after the initial split.
Did someone say eradicate the druids again? Because I think that would be an excellent way to solve ALL of our problems!
Ah, hello Miss Samantha, pleasure to see you again
>To note, he has an actual face now.
>He feigns being hurt
Emilia you wound me, blow up something that resembles those who made me who I am? That's heretical.
I'll give you some notice at least.
Talk to them about Exhibit 13. It creeps them out and they usually just walk away or something.
Right. That seems like the best thing - and we'll just have Noel stay in charge since she's the only one who's still around, I think?
undead are a dying breed
>pulls a decrepit skull out of my cloak
This is all that's left of dusty
The first man...woman? I can't remember i gave the gift of unlife
Dirjin... That Dark Elf who robbed you guys the other week? The one who made about two dozen sexual innuendos to both you and the high Elf Summoner over in the corner... Emilia was it?
Dean? what the hells happened to Antruthius?
Sound great, so we becoming teachers?
It's enough to worth bring up. It's like pyromancy, but better.
>A pair of skeletons walk in
My first two skeletons are... Not this exact pair of Shivers and Jeeves, but I tend to name my pairs of undead servants the same thing in honor of them.
...well I didn't say it was a perfect plan...
I...guess? Though who the hell in their right mind would want to study under me?
My~ Aren't you a bit bitter today? But I guess that's a staple for necromancers.
Oh, my most sincere apologies. I'm Teinei, a wizard specializing in the creation and understanding of space. I come from abroad and I was appointed to be an instructor for a couple of classes for the earth wizardry department, in hopes of reducing the staggering amount of wizardry towers collapsing after reaching the 35th floor.
The gift of fun rice? I thought you were a necromancer not some happy-go-lucky grain weaver! Back in my day all we had was dragon wheat!
Antruthius? That whippersnapper? I made him from some of the skin flakes on my 3057th tentacle. Cute little guy. Looks like me when I was just under a million.
DON'T ERADICATE ANYONE? My word what has this guild come too?Take a little nap for a few universal life cycles and the hippies come crawling out of the woodwork!
I dunno, but after a talk with Pierre, I need the credit hours, and you wanted to improve on your magic. Let's scratch both our backs in a way that encourages a friendship.
Guys, we got another first age crazy.
Oh and what are you going to do. build me to re-death
I am not bitter just tired of wizards with no skill making up titles for themselves to seem important
>"ooh look at me I'm Teinei, I suck at spells but gee wiz i can build a wall"
It's not in my nature to cause needless pain. But sure, I promise I will not blow up the sun.
Ah, a pleasure to meet you, I am Oriaja. I am not really sure what department I'm a part of.
I'm not a hippy, I just don't care for needless killing. We get enough of that where we're from.
If it is you, then get back in here, we've missed you.
I couldn't agree more, we have had something of a druid infestation as of late actually. All in favour of kicking them all out of the tower?
Percival Cobb, Head of Hydromancy does drop by from time to time. I would prefer to have him in charge if possible.
>takes a closer look
You still have your first undead? That's impressive, I remember my first one, Harold, he was a farmer from the village on the other side of the hill, fell off a cliff after getting a bit too drunk and was never seen again. Well, until I found him and raised him anyway.
I think I'll have to agree with you on that one.
Nonsense, if Noel and Quin can hold departments then you should be at least halfway qualified.
I really hope she isn't the head of witchcraft. She just have it in her.
I'm 99% sure that an event like that would be, in fact, rather painless.
Sorry, morbid humor.
Lazarus, elementaliism only makes sense if it's balanced, you'll still probably have to find 4 heads. of course, like a certain Aeon, if you had only one, it'd probably be electricity.
Why if it isn't little Jill! How's school going? Make any new friends? How about that Pine Bowl machine you were working on?
Crazy?! I'm not crazy! I may be a little old and not have complete control of my fifty six bladders but I'm by no means crazy!
My ears must not what they used to be. I thought I heard you say that somebody let those disgusting animalistic treehuggers into my tower.
You know how when your doing an ethreal jaunt through the great black abyss of the outer realms and you accidentally crush a small universe? Do you stop and weep for the thing? Of course not! That's what those furry bastards are to this existence! Little pests!.
You said the new head of witchcraft. I heard Faustine got a letter about it. I hope it's some prank.
That is something quite good.
>holds her hand out
No, she didn't. We had dinner a couple nights ago and it...she didn't even bring it up.
That seems like it'd take a while. I mean, I'm not against doing it, I just don't see how that helps right now.
Disgusting creature. Senile, disgusting fool.
>Turns away from him
>He hooks his pinky with hers
I promise that I will control myself and my powers. No compounding the gravity of this world, no exploding the sun, nothing like that. I promise.
Personally I find druid corpses quite excellent.
So, will you take over the geomancy department or not? We need at least a temporary head if we want to keep it.
No one let them in, but they are here nonetheless, we need to act before its too late.
Heh, good times. So if you aren't Ivina!anon, who are you?
You amuse me, necromancer friend! Especially when your title is such a bold statement in comparison with mine.
And certainly, I'm not quite skilled as a wizard, but there are quite a share of uses for architecture when mixed with magic: After all, who's gonna design those traps in your tower? Rogues get craftier everyday, and most magical traps have been well documented before.
Nice to meet you, master Oriaja. I'm sure that you'll be appointed a position soon enough, unless you have a skill that you could share with us.
W-well...if you need someone's name on paper, sure. But I expect we'll just merge them all back together and it'll be moot. Don't expect much out of me.
Yeah you run away! Just like those damn clerics did in the war of -8!
Agreed! I shall gather my forces! Those hippies won't know what hit them, especially when I turn their nuerons into thrashing Star Spawn!
Not my Dark Matter Gland you silly girl my feet! The small sausage looking things beside the acidic tentacubes!
I've found the best way to take someone out of their comfort zone is with many, many tentacles.
I am no master, no mister, just call me Oriaja, Teinei. I am only twenty mind you. As for my magic or skills, I'm able to manipulate gravity, create small stars, may start working on black holes soon. Ooh, and comets, I've made those before as well.
Emilia, it's already chaos. But thank you still.
Go to the lower planes, and head outside of them. And you'll see true Chaos, Elemental Chaos.
Is Pierre the one doing this?
If we hold onto Geomancy, does that mean I have to step in for Aeromancy?
Excuse me. I'm looking for a "Jill fluffwap"? Apparently the couriers office made a mistake in the addresses, and we ended up receiving a package for her. It was labeled "snacks", but when I opened it up all I found were expensive Mages Guild uniforms.
Welcome aboard then, head of geomancy.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you can put together old friend. Soon we will drive them back to their forests once and for all.
>raises an eyebrow
Are you planing on taking the job? I wouldn't recommend taking too many responsibilities, you have your lands to take care of after all.
She hasn't shown up yet, but you're free to stay and wait.
OoOoOoOo Gone, they left for various reasons. Boredom, life, conflict with the group. They are all gone and may never return. OoOoOo
OoOoOoOo or that. I have answers, but I am not omnipotent nor do I have the correct answers OoOoOoOo
What, you people thought you could just hold a meeting and not tell me?
A magnificent feat to my ears! Alas, I can't quite imagine the use for it since it could take precious time to take the rats out during a combat or for a trap, yet solutions and improvements are everywhere to be found as long as motivation pushes us!
Ah, I remember this time when a necromancer asked me to find a way to connect his holding bags around, and while extremely useful to keep his undead minions, he had trouble finding his spare change afterwards.
Oh, this is just my way to show my respect for your art, but I'll comply and refer to you as you ask me. Oh my, gravity? That's pretty impressive, it took me a while to harness its power correctly to create an endless staircase for a wizard.
Please don't ask what happened to that wizard
Are you sure? Because several people are saying she's alive.
Thank you, I'll take you up on the offer.
>He'd clearly be unsure of what to do.
No thanks, I'm currently married.
OH, so when Fluffy eats a mailman, you people say he's got to be fixed, but when Percy does it, we don't fix him?
It's true chaos out there in the stars as well as the Elemental sort.
No idea, sorry. haven't met anyone with that name around here. Just put them here.
>Pats at a spot next to him
I'll drop them off later
It's more we thought you'd still be content in the bottom of a bottle and would rather stay there.
I do not know all of its mechanics yet, but I am learning slowly. Need to maintain control of it or else, well...you cause more damage than it's worth.
Percy killed him a lot cleaner, a lot cleaner.
>Emilia has a moment of silence for that mage Fluffy killed
>Emilia laughs with him
To mutual chaos then.
well, you know. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first plunge.
>Emilia gives her a friendly shove
well, no one has seen her in weeks, and kids stopped disappearing.
I was sure you were informed. Guess I was mistaken. But tell me, are you the head of Fleshwarping again now that you have returned, or are you taking a vacation from department head duties?
Well, if you are sure.
What? You want a ceremony? I suppose we could put something together, but its been awhile since we had one of those. These days its just sign the paperwork and the job is yours.
I miss the ceremonies.
Yeah, a lot younglings went away. Talking about fluff or something when they're back. They're still looking for Carl though.
So I guess that's that. we play temp-heads while the departments merge. I'm gonna try to fight Noel on that no pants rule. we can't have 4 departments pantsless.
>raises an eyebrow
To run your lands or to run your department?
Just making sure, I took a break when I returned from the dead after all.
Oh of course there is paperwork, but that comes after the meeting.
I think of it anymore as a thought exercise - it's broad enough that you can wear plenty without risking flashing your panties to anyone at the slightest movement.
Not used to having eyes actually. Used to just reading people's histories from what the Stars tell me. Only became human again rather recently.
>Oriaja just stares at him, his eyes have flecks of purple in them
Your name is Harold.
Clearly your clones are, pardon my language, quite bullpoppy. I'd be happy to whip you up one if you'd like!
>Waves his hand, quickly constructing a giant writhing ball of flesh, tentacles and eyes with the exact same hairstyle.
No need to thank me,
Fighting is pretty important where I'm from. If you're a leader, you can be challenged. Being the strongest stops you from being challenged.
You've become Noel-washed.
Yes, yes I do Harold. I cast doubt on you.
It was only a little more than a decade. Not too much of a big deal.
>Eyes turn back to normal
So tell me about yourself, Marth, how did you become such an accomplished fighter and a champion at that?
Someone badgered me into picking the Subdivision back up...
Anyways as the head of a department within a department, one without a Head mind you, I fully support folding departments together.
I forgot we were even having these meetings.
Do I look like I'm planning on turning into someone who would do crude like what you're suggesting?
>Sam's visage is completely stonefaced, as rigid and set in her ways as if she's embodying the very concept of stillness.
Oh there's no need for that! You said you wanted it to fight so I implanted a Sphere of Destruction into every pore of its body! That should keep those pesky neighbor boys away right?
>Happy gurgling from the clone
Harold. What have I told you about summoning zombies in the common room?
I mean they don't even have ONE tentacle. You're doing it wrong!
would you be under, or above Talo?
>looks at him
Excuse me, did you just double dip?
>she's hiding a smile just wanting to see Samantha's reaction
My god, the gods are dead.
>Oriaja peers at him
I really don't care, you're not going to get anything from me.
>Drinks his coffee, then sets it down.
I would think so. Spent quite a few years walking around telling stories and performing for the children. Had to hold off an attack every once in a while.
How fresh do you need it to be?
We clearly have a different set of priorities. But then again, the aeromancers doesn't make a lot of trouble.
Just popping in to remind you that the greatest magic is your imagination, and your greatest gift is creation.
The world can always use more happy little trees. I hope you all find the good times through the bad.
Nah. Not feeling it. Honestly, you're not as bad as the desiccated corpse being who thinks himself a dean but whatever. Your name is still Harold by the way.
Rolled 11 (1d20)
Hm, I see.
I've been quite well, how does the hunt?
>immortality vs. the endurance of the Geomancy
>who gives first
Eh the gods are a bunch of pansies anyways! Pelor STILL refuses to arm wrestle me even after i unfused the parallel dimensions from my muscle fibers. Some people just don't know respect.
Within the past 5 seconds would be perfect. The soul needs to be just leaving the body for the star spawn to see it.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BOBIUS. I'LL PULL THOSE GOD DAMNED HAPPY LITTLE TREES OUT YOUR EYEHOLES AFTER I FUCK YOUR HIPPIE ASS WITH MY HAPPY LITTLE FIST.
Never call me a owlbear again.
>He is literally a owl
Quite well. Feasts have come along well, and only a few angry necromancers and ectomancers chased brothers off lands.
I say we hold a posing contest. It would surely solve all our problems.
The absolute worst.
Has it ended yet?
>Emilia backs down, intimidated
You don't have to push it so hard...
>Emilia lowers her head and ears
Your nametag seems to have fallen off.
No, we cannot. I like him.
Best of luck to you.
Well I don't think I-
>points at the redrobe >>45330211 >>45330238
Good news Enjus, we got one!
Out of the way, loser. You will experience the glory of well trained abs now.
Ugh, you mean those hideous things that probably don't function as well as they look? No thank you. I'm all for aesthetics, but it has to work, you damn oil fiends.
Ah yes Fleshwarping. I quite enjoy that magic. Seeing an elf's expression when you turn their eyeballs into baby teeth is just hilarious.
As for who I am....uh. I can't quite remember. Say boy! >>45330307 Who am I again?
Do you hear that kiddo? That's the sound of a forest dying somewhere in the world. It's a beautiful sound.
>Whispering in her ear with a mouth-tipped tentacle.
You kids and your staring contests. Don't worry, I'll make it so you can't lose!
>The tentacle kisses her on each eye, harmlessly sucking off her eyelids.
What kind of fleshwarper are you if you can't even appreciate the perfection of a muscle packed body?
>Hundreds of Hues burst in and eat the Mage
>Imagine a gigantic fur ball that was puked on then thrown into the mud over and over
>Now imagine a ton of tentacles on in
>And now imagine a permanent smile on its face
>And then have it have legs that smell like shit
>That's a Hue
>And hundreds are leaking in
Well, this will be fun.
Seems you are evenly matched in this contest.
Indeed it is.
>raises an eyebrow
I thought we exterminated those at least a month ago.
>The stupid fucks begin running into things, knocking over mages and magical items
>one looks up
>he sounds like your stereotypical black guy
BUT MUM, IT GOT SO BORING IN THERE!
(Rolling for a sobriety check)
'Ello? 'ELLO? I 'eard somfink 'bout wizahds in baffroves? Mah pointy-hat friend in the sky sez I ought'a stop boy and check this place out. My name's Krangus, and I drink from meh dwarven cask so that I can preserves the knowledge, like prie-serving your ach...your alchem...yer potion stuff!
Rolled 5 (1d20)
I cast holy dubstorm (instakill if dubs)
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>They all crash straight through walls and into the restrooms
>Screaming is heard
>one looks up
Wait, no no no, dont fucking go into the restrooms guys. That isn't cool.
>Everyone says aww
>They then look at the mages
>And attempt to eat them!
No mummuh! I am my own man now!
Welcome to the mages guild Krangus, alchemists are always welcome here.
Don't worry, this doesn't happen that often anymore, we got tired of them and drove the things to near extinction recently.
Ah do a lit'l bit o' potioning on the side, me main focus is worship, and know-ledge. Tha's why I came, ya see? I wash hoping to ken if we knowledge-holdin clerics could partake in the council. I'd rather hope I can represent us prayin' folk amongst yer magicking type fellows.
On a side note, I find holy water to be fairlee useful 'gainst things that go in yer restroom.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
So my dubstorm missed, too bad. I summon my Killer Squirrel (Bloodlusted)!
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>All those innocent hues who dindu nuff-
>Oh who am I fucking kidding.
>They attempt to run away into the bathrooms!
You can start any guild you want, Though we have a few of the common ones covered already (Thieves, Fighters and so on) but that just means we would join in if we wanted to, Atmosphere is largely based on who is playing to provide the atmosphere, In mages guild the threads are a lot more random than the Archives, where we go on for about 5000 or so posts before we make a new thread.
I might start one for urban fantasy and new weird fiction, a sort of World of Darkness meets China Miéville.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
No one can escape the squirrel.
You mistake me, friend. I am no druid, though I respect their ways- I admire the art of magic as much as any of you, but the beauty of nature too. Sometimes, you just need to take the time to enjoy a sunset, the reflection on a lake, or the wind blowing through the tall grass.
Remember that magic is as much study as it is an art. Nature and nurture.
It's alright if you're going through some bad times, Enjus. Just have to remember that good times will come if you let them.
A happy little accident. I've conjured a new one.
I'm off. I hope your meeting goes well- See you next time.
>With that, the nature-mage disappears in a swirl of glowing leaves, leaving behind a small bonsai tree in his stead.
it is of great regret to say that
The most Illustrious and most magnificent Necromancer in the land
is needed elsewhere to deal with an unrelated army of sentient undead rats
I know I know
just when marth was about to confess his "I think" love for me
but alas it is my time to go so I bid you adieu
>flips everyone off , bows the in a puff of purple smoke in his visage he vanishes
>Candor stumble into the room, her eyes wild, dripping sweat and gasping for breath. She leans back against the door frame, gulping in air and scanning the room intently. Her usually immaculate but modest clothing is ragged and torn in places, and she's bleeding from a number of small cuts. In her hands is an especially large crossbow, the sort you wind with a crank and use to put church window sized holes in things. She reaches up to dust what appears to be fragments of pink eggshell from her hair.
"Has anyone seen a rabbit, recently? At all? Perhaps?"
>raises an eyebrow
To take Adam's debt? I fail to see why I would want anyone else to handle it. He offered to take care of it on his own, and he has been of a lot of use to me.
>Appears in the archive
I did it! Finally! I summoned the helium elemental Master!
>Its a balloon
>She looks proud of herself
Because it's debt that should be mine. He went through that trouble to help me.
Besides Adam doesn't have a gullible brother with a road map to the best grave in town.
>Candor attempts a reassuring smile, succeeding primarily in awkwardly pulling back her lips and displaying her teeth.
"Oh. No reason. Nothing to be worried about."
>She reaches into her pockets and tosses a few handfuls of what appears to be sea salt onto the floor as she begins to back out of the room.
"If you do see him, try not to look -directly- at him. He doesn't like salt, or pure iron. Fire just seems to upset him."
>She stops and looks at everyone in turn, her eyes wide, sweat pouring down her face.
"Don't eat the eggs."
>She slams the door and can be heard sprinting away down the corridor.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
[/spoiler]Dear god. I think it worked.[/spoiler]
>Kramgus walks out of the restroom, missing one glove, some singed beard hair and a bit less sanity.
Sure hope tha's a restroom, otherwise you had a room that smelt like some kinda plague back thar. Anywho, should be fairly clean now.
Physically, Mentally, or actually?
I don't know, how many wizards in red robes can there be though?
Well you didn't do a very good job.
>Shes ignoring Lupa, I mean I would just not reply but its not easy to convey that sort of thing ICly if you don't point it out
That doesn't make any sense.
You'd be surprised, also, I think you may have been tricked, young miss. The redrobes around here are notorious pranksters. How long have they been your master?
Well I don't think you're one of mine, I'm terrible at elementalism.
Metalic dragons? Well that does change things a bit. I'm not willing to let you take the entire debt, but I'm more than willing to let this go towards clearing it, and quite a bit towards it as well.
Quite a few actually, not so many of them masters however...
Now you just sound even more sarcastic!
That was not a yes or no question.
Try me old lady.
Whuh? But he said he could teach me to use my magic.
Rolled 11 (1d20)
Hmmm, ah wonder if I can still do that magick trick Sir Elsimore tried to teach meh. It's a bit crazier every'time, hope it does something less drastic.
rolling to cast Comprehend Language because of this damned Scotdwarf accent.
>If looks could kill, you would have a fate worse then death.
>Then starts to break out crying.
YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M A HIDEOUS OLD HAG!
MY ROTTEN FUCKING KIDS, I'M ENJOY KILLING THEM WHEN I FINALLY DO FOR TRAPPING ME IN THIS DISGUSTING BODY.
>looks only about 30, and a very good 30 at that.
I could teach you some even more impressive magic if you transfer to my department. New admissions have gotten a little slow, something about broken bones and internal bleeding. All nonsense.
I don't know enough fancy words, That was one of the things they said they would teach me!
Yes that's what i'm saying.
I don't think I have the right...Bodytype for that sort of magic.
Miss, I do believe you've been tricked.
>Extends a hand, a small grin on his face
Oriaja Ferun, guy who does some stuff with space. Pleasure to meet you.
>Though a dwarf on it's own can be rare in this parts, a dwarf speaking with a royal sounding accent is downright absurd.
This...this is very refreshing, speaking in a comprehensible voice like this, though if it's anything like the last time, my sobriety will come and go like 'me wife Alice, Kromgol bless 'er soul.'
>Krangus coughs a little, then returns to his 'fancy voice'
I wonder... if I am to learn a small amount of spellsorcery, I.
You, sir! Archmagi of the Punchomancy! Care for an arm-wrestle?
Would someone do that? Just go to the Mages guild and trick me?
I am Nesha Nesha Arrim!
>She gives a firm handshake, Like any martial would. Its not comfortable for most casters.
> a purple cloud smelling of dead rats appears
I HAVE RETURNED
Redrobes tend not to last very long, your master is likely already dead.
Oh? Is that what the apprentices are up to these days?
How did the rat problem go?
By technicality, it's divine 'magic,' but yes, I can form a fist with it. Funny you mention it actually, one of the altar boys liked to call me 'Muscle Cleric' after I stopped him from getting punched a few times. Alas, I'm stalling.
>Kramgus holds up his golem figurine/holy symbol and conjures forth a Spiritual Weapon, specifically the Fist of Elsimore, which, being the fist of an elderly wizard, isn't the most beautiful thing to look at. But it's a fist, nonetheless.
1. Very insensitive to your fellow mages who lack what we can hands.
2. That's basically all you need to be a punchomancer. Muscles are a byproduct of the punch magic, not a requirement to cast.
Although it helps
Hmm, well, you could always enroll in the guild normally. Take some classes, find yourself. The Redrobes aren't the only people who can teach you magic, actually, they're never the people to go to about magic.
That really sucks.
I suppose its also insensitive to people who can't do magic. That would suck.
That's a good idea, But I never could figure out how.
SMILEY, COME HERE AND HAVE A SNACK
>the beast enters and looks around
It's a good thing those things breed like crazy then.
My advice is to find a new master, there are plenty of people around here who could use an apprentice.
Geomancy and Aeromancy has new department heads, it might be a temporary measure before we merge them all into a unified department of elementalism. Not sure about the other departments.
Well then, sit on down at this here conveniently placed table, and I'll explain the way I learned it in my homeland of Erythnia. As my great-grandfather used to say:
"If ye want to take sometink on in a battle of fists, use yer weakest magic, lack that Spirit Fist thing they tell ya in Cleric school, then try sumtink new, like Control Water to make yer flagon o' drink into a fist-hand o' destruction! The average bout takes about twenty seconds, so long ye last for twelve of them seconds, yer the victor."
Three separate posts, each with a dice roll, best two of three rolls wins.
>Krangus places his Spirit Fist on the table.
Ready when you are, old bean.
Well, she isn't a part of any department, so she's free game!
>Smiley starts kicking his leg happily as his smile gets wider.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU STUPID CREATURE!? EAT HER ALREADY!
>yells into it
ALRIGHT BITCHES, VACATE THE PREMISES! ANTRUTHIUS IS ABOUT TO START HIS COCAINE BASH AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
>We move to Archives!
I'd suggest you stay away from pyromancy. Not sure where stasis fits in. Hmm. I know there's a department for you, just like me, even if I haven't found mine yet
Well, I'll be outside if you want to go on that tour, check out the archives! They're pretty fun! Best of luck either way Nesha!
>Oriaja walks out
Have to go.
>Smiley is nuzzling up to the small girl.
>Lupa screams in unimaginable rage.
YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT, EAT THE GIRL OR I WILL TEAR YOU BACK INTO YOUR CONSTITUENT PIECES.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
The beginning of the match is a tie, hmm, perhaps if I try to combine the spiritual hand with the mage hand...
>Kramgus feels a bead of sweat fall from his forhead as he pushes the two hand spells together.
Well, ah hope my grand-pappy was right about combining spells.
>How does one fall asleep during a magic arm wrestling match? Krangus might have been able to tell you, had he not fallen to the ground in a drunken stupor.
Never change, /tg/. At least, not until the next thread.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
Well, I see I will need to actually use magic for this. It has been a long time since someone was a match for me in terms of strength.
>Casts "Gravity Arm"
Also probably move to the archive. Link is here http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/45327748/#q45332426