You hadn't thought that lighting things on fire created fire was a concept that people wouldn't grasp in one go, but once again, the world has vastly exceeded your expectations.
And you know the phrase is 'Common sense isn't common' but- It's just- It's fire.
How does someone misunderstand fire. How. They aren't children, presumably.
No, that's a definitely, isn't it. You're the monsters here. They're adults. Humans don't let children be adventurers. Human children.
In any case, you are presently dimensionally challenged in a challenge dimension. Specifically, a dungeon. And since dungeons aren't the picky sort of multidimensional semi-sentient giant whatevers, there are also other adventurers inside. Whom you have just met, introduced yourself to, and induced a fit of frustration derived swearing from.
Which brings you to the present.
"This is Tim's fault. That shitshoveling horses ass. Bastard. Bastard son of a-"
"Is Tim the mage?"
"Tim. Tim is the goblin-molesting child of a sewage gargling ogre who goddamn laughs when we walk in all burnt up! Imma bloody choke him! I'll burn him! I'M GONNA LIGHT YOU THE HELLS ON FIRE TIM-"
The dwarf pops his head back out of the tent, blinking bleary eyes.
He sighs, and catches the woman's scarf, dragging her backwards into a headlock, one hand muffling her rising voice.
"S'rry bout this. She's from the mountains. Get a bit weird up there."
>Aren't you from the-
>Should I go? I should go.
Character Sheet and Misc:
GDoc is pending repairs.
Oh boy, sibling adventures.
Lots of new magic. Besides star, she's best at earth, maybe because she helped us practice our magic and knows it a bit better as a result.
Dungeons and parties too! Though it doesn't seem like she managed to reach the end yet. She still hears about us.
Level 100, haha! And she's used for adventurer hazing too.
>Zack and Ephram
Lots of stuff with these two. Watching the ruins while the family's away, being popular with other spiders, helping out moths, and fishing.
The Sara storytime on the ask
The teachers at the academy where at their wits end. No one could handle this spider and the building couldn't take many more "Practice sessions".
That is when they heard the rumors, out there was a rare breed of adventurer, a mage buster. One hadn't been born in a century but their savior had come.
They spent months sending letters through the guild desperately trying to get the mage buster to come, and at last she had accepted their request, none too soon, as the "Little" spider was blowing their classes and they couldn't prevent her from learning stronger magics for much longer.
They had arranged to meet at the guild hall and they day came when they entered but it couldn't be.
No gods could be so cruel.
No world could be so unfair.
No fate could lead to this.
But it was true, the proof was before them.
The mage buster was another fucking spider.
>And also they were sisters.
These were dark days for the mage academy. Even after graduation, hope was nowhere to be found for a long time, and the scars still remain on the school both physically and emotionally.
>Level 100, haha! And she's used for adventurer hazing too.
Cogratulations on your evolution. You're now a Mistress of Threads arachne.
Yes, it's normal to hear people rolling dice in your head.
She hasn't necessarily /evolved/ yet, she's just at 100.
Though when she does evolve, given she's almost certain to be an Orb, we'll finally have a sibling with a bigger butt than us.
"Aren't you from the-"
"Nah, I'm proper city born."
"Ah. Sorry, yes."
"No problem there, y'know. Not gonna get all upset cause you can't guess where I was born."
"Um. Is she going to be alright?"
"Maybe? She'll froth her way out of it eventually."
"Yea. 'S why we took away her axe."
You aren't certain you'd be this nonchalant about someone berserking.
On the other hand, there isn't really anything you can do about it.
You settle yourself down a bit.
"Well, as long as you are up-"
"Gah. Hells, This is gonna mess up the shifts."
"Sorry. Have you been further in the dungeon?"
"Than this? A bit. "
"What's it like, yes?"
He shrugs, the motion lifting the woman up and down in time with his shoulders.
"Changes. Mostly fire. Sometimes weird stuff."
"This. There was a lake, once. Full of wheat."
"Yeah, I didn't really get it. And one time everything was upside down. Walking on clouds with wheat hanging overhead."
What do you even say to that?
>Well, on the whole, the dungeon is still a step up from wizards.
>Time to go!
>Nin has dust. There's probably something for the problem lady.
Nah, REQM said back when we were a widow that Orb was the weaver evo.
>Elle is tailor half-lord
>her chitin grows strands of silk that naturally weave together
>she's constantly cutting pieces off and sewing stuff to it
>everyone else in Oakring sees her cutting chunks out of herself and stitching random pieces of clothing to her ass
>Well, on the whole, the dungeon is still a step up from wizards.
So far, anyway. There's still time to run into libraries full of books expounding the greatness of weasels, and intricate busts made in their image.
"As soon as we discover them", though apparently we've already used one.
We're pretty sure one is "Right to Rule" or "Power of Fear", and the other might be something like "royal imperiousness".
"Hm. Well, it is already better than wizards, yes."
"Nothing. Ah, I think my friend can help your friend."
"How's that then?"
You grab Nin on her next lap nearest to the camp, dragging her to a briefly grateful halt.
"You have dust for this, yes?"
She blinks, glancing from you to the calm looking dwarf restraining a still howling woman.
"Is that normal?"
"A different sort of normal, yes? Can you calm her down?"
"Do you want calm, or asleep, or unable to move or-"
"Just calm, if ya can."
"I can! It's going to get you too. If you don't let her go."
"I'm going back to sleep. Bitta calm never hurt noone."
"That's only if noone stabs you while you're all calm."
"Why would anyone be stabbing you while you're all calm?"
"'Cause a moth used dust to calm you so they could stab you?"
"You gonna stab me?"
"Then get on with it."
"I can do that."
The moth takes to the air, stabilizing herself to hover over the two adventurers, and her wings shimmer with gold in the red sunlight, dust glinting as it starts to fall.
It doesn't take long for the woman's kicking to slow. Apparently, screaming and howling that much requires a great deal of air.
And there is a great deal of dust in that.
The dwarf sneezes, shaking his head side to side as he releases his partner.
"Damn, that's fast."
"You sell it?"
She shrugs, looking to you.
"You can if you want to, yes? It is your decision."
Negotiations are boring.
She seems to have gotten a price comparable to your silk for it though, so the moth is overall pleased.
And ominous giggling aside, you're happy for her.
"You good to watch, Quinn?"
"Yeah? Yeah. Sure."
"Bang your shield if there's trouble."
"I can do that."
And with that, the dwarf disappears back into the tent.
>Are you better now?
>Gather party and set forth!
>Is Ezzy still exercising?
>Is Ezzy still exercising?
>Gather party and set forth!
We have no need at all for saftey in numbers, it jut gives more squishy bodies for us to worry about, we'd be outrright handicapped by bringing them along, and thats assuming they would want to.
A part of me wishes Shezka went white christmas on the first level so we have fought a giant ice elemental and polar bears.
Yeah, I know it almost certainly doesnt work like that. An anon can dream.
Now Im gonna be looking for ways to break divine dungeons. In the sense that most people wouldnt do that thing, and it opens up weird/awesome alternatives. Poke unusual statues, 'rescue' the statue of the dragon instead of the princess in a puzzle, insert Konami codes when applicable..
You're glad that worked out, but is she actually going to be okay?
Dust is basically magical drugs, right?
"Hey. Quinn, yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Everything is pretty great right now."
"Uh. Can you fight like that?"
"Sure. Don't need to be angry to swing something around."
Her forehead wrinkles.
"I think- I think I'm still angry? It just doesn't matter much right now. It's pretty nice."
"Alright. Your accent is gone, yes."
"Yeah. That only happens when I get angry. Don't you act different when you're angry?"
"Not by much, I think."
"She clicks and hisses and glows. And sometimes lights herself on fire."
"Oh. You got it rough, huh."
"Take care. And thanks."
You haul the moth away with you before the conversation goes anywhere else you don't want it to be.
Sheszka and Jin swoop back into place with a yell- Which leaves you down precisely one member of the team.
Come to think of it, you didn't tell Ezzy to stop, did you.
You find her halfway to the next bridge, and more noodle-like than ever.
Which is fairly impressive, as she's a snake.
You lift the droopy scaled noodle- who manages to surpise you with a small burst of action as you start to move.
Her tail wraps neatly around your forearm and she clings to your hand with a grunt, glaring at you from between your own fingers.
"Heat what, yes."
You cross the bridge, leaving the safety zone behind. Ahead of you is a long trail of islands and bridges. And potentially un-edible plant monsters.
The next island is quiet, though.
There's still the wind, and the rustling of plants, but nothing is attacking you at the moment.
There is, however, more than one bridge.
And a stone monument.
'To all those who would challenge my realm
Be they desirous of fortune or fame
I will forgive no tresspass
Choose your own fate.
On one path lies the might of earth
On the other, the unending fury of my will
>It's only giant fire elementals.
It's scary on the intellectual level. The knowledge that somebody out there not only finds that sexually attractive due to the animalistic features, but believes that his deviant pornography is normal and should be socially acceptable as art is extremely disconcerting. It's like the uncanny valley, except with how fucked up somebody is instead of how fucked up something looks.
Pitting yourself against earth might be fun, right?
It'd be a good fight.
But that's- Well, there's your magic. And the blessing. It wouldn't be easy, you're sure. The resistance to your powers in the whole dungeon is certainly a testament to that.
There's no way something capable of making something like this would have a a weak will. A little spark of ire that could barely touch those it's directed against, right?
It's be something big. Bigger. Bigger than you, than your mom. Something worth fighting.
Your mind has barely processed the words before you've made your decision, stepping onto the bridge, moving forwards, advancing.
The platform you're led to is a lot less... verdant. The rocks are more bare, the sunlight tinged ever mroe red, a scent of something indescribable on the wind. And in front of you-
A portal. Cracked stones, ugly scratches.
So you step on through.
No, that's not right.
You look left and right, trying to piece together what feels wrong.
It's not just a town, right?
Houses. An inn. A temple. Another... Inn? Second temple?
You glance back, between the buildings. That's it. They're different.
Not in the 'different buildings' way. Built differently. They don't belong together. They don't belong to the same time. Even with magic- Oakring was built in the same way. The city was built in the same way. But here- One is crude logs, notched and bound together. Another is a stone pyramid, rising tall. A house, a cabin, a tent, a hut. Mud bricks, planks of wood, sandstone, a burrow, a broken ship built to sit forever ashore.
You move forwards, into the silent twilight of this layer, looking for an answer.
The piecemeal village is small. Only a few mismatched rows, though there's more than enough styles to leave you confused.
And past that-
Past that, it's all the same. A gold field of wheat, still visible in the starlight, stretching between rough fences, reaching to a forest beyond.
And then the silence breaks, and one voice starts to roar.
And another, and another-
Lights flicker into being past the fields. Torches held high, voices rising in unison, weapons glimmering in the smoky light.
Feet pound the ground, fields burn, and a wave of enemies races towards you-
>Pull back! You can use the buildings!
>Meet them here!
>Charge into the fields!
That actually is probably correct.
Oh well, prep for fighting a large mob of... sssomething. Peasants. Of nonspecific type.
Yeah, I guess I'm just used to fake not-dungeons like the wizard's. That, and we only just now found out that there's a few more levels ahead.
I think, one day, we will learn that dungeons are designed specifically to make you have an unpleasant time in them.
Also, this is still better than timed underwater mission the dungeon.
We get back, years later. Scarred in body but bright in spirit, to find a spider-shaped construct of silk and lace. Elle, somehow evolved beyond us, the centerpiece of a burgeoning town in ten thousand kinds of fabric. Above it all, a tree fort grown in layers upon layers, worshipped and feared by the commonfolk. As we approach, a hush spreads throughout the town. The nearly eldrich being focuses on us, still weaving as she speaks. Then Elle politely asks us if we've seen any new fashion and if we could expand the bath a bit?
Suddenly, Nin mentions that we can make a new type of silk.
You stand your ground, armour closing over you as your friends fan out, taking to the skies- or sheltering behind you.
You ready your spear as the wave grows closer, allowing you to finally see what you're up against.
You're really very tired of magical darkness.
The enemies are humans.
Of a sort, anyways.
Raiders, like you would see in some sort of history book. Barely clothed, simple weapons. Painted and screaming as they throw themselves towards the town.
You spear sweeps through them like nothing at all, casting blood and bodies to the dirt. It doesn't feel like they're adventurers. Weapons don't reach you, even as they pile in, crowding the corpses they've left behind.
Sheszka is in the same position as you- She's shifted into a giant wolf, wantonly unleashing blizzards around herself. Warriors shatter if the magic catches them before she does- And the ones it doesn't, she smashes down all the same.
The only person left behind is Jin- the little wounds left behind by her barrages don't deter them at all, streaming blood only adding to their warpaint as they scrabble forwards to the fight.
You don't allow the ack of effort to infringe on your attitude, relentlessly keeping your focus on your enemies. You scythe through them like a reaper, scattering the last of the raiders as the blaze in the fields rise.
And as the last one falls, the world lurches around you. Buildings grind and change, swapping places and time periods alike, forming the mish-mash town anew.
The field waves as though a grand wind had blown through it, and the burnt wheat vanishes like your foes, pristine fields in it's place. The stars overhead turn slowly, a grand moon taking it's place in the sky.
And then another yell goes up, and more torches are raised.
And a charge begins again.
Thanks for playing!
It's double cannibalism! But they're vanishing anyway at the moment.
Thanks for playing! Noone really let her get it, per se. It's more that someone was studying it in the library, and left it unattended for more than 2 minutes.
And returned to find it gone.
Thanks for playing!
Fairly minor, depending on the friends. Sheszka can pretty much do it herself these days, Jin is getting fairly tough. Ezzy would be fine as long as she wasn't wrapped around something you used to smash through the wall in the first place. Nin might be in trouble.
>a three page dissertation
You are vastly over estimating how much I care. I don't hate this quest or the others that ride its coat tails, it just seems like in avoiding the grimderpier aspects of the source material, they squander their potential to a greater or lesser degree.
yeah, we lost to them.
Like I said, the only thing we're going to be running up against these days that is going to be our bane is groups of high level adventurers.
Just like any high level monster.
>All those ranks in a shitton of different magic
That was before, then we fought both of them at the same time, and the sister scored a (technical) point on us after we threw the duke out of the ring.
Though to be fair Lyra didn't go all out in that fight, and I assume neither did the Twins.
yeah, it was a parry.
It is SUPER EASY to parry large weapons.
Look, our skullbutt is REALLY TOUGH.
Like, so much so that I think if we were ever hit by one of those attacks that dissolves the whole dude but his boots, it will be our skullbutt left behind.
Either that or when we get back he's going to have an eyepatch and a grizzled voice.
Like everyone does after shit goes wrong in a timeskip.
Damn, that's actually funny.
Good one, anon.
I'm okay with that, as long as the eyepatch as frilly bits.
Oh shit I saw this in a thread the other day.
She's a proper wizard.
Lyra and company just ride along natural elemental affinities, with Lyra barely dipping a pedipalp into actual spellcraft of one element, which she still supports with natural affinity.