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How do you paladin? Let's hear your...
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How do you paladin? Let's hear your paladin stories.
My job is to bring down corrupt kings, slay archdukes, banish violent undead, and wipe out large slave gangs.

Not to save your cat, fund your orphanage, help you cross the street, or sign your petition.
>not being able to save the cat by just shaking the tree and catching it gracefully
>not donating a few coins for the orphanage
>not helping people cross the street when you go the same way
>not glancing over the petition with Detect Evil and instantly deciding if it's worth signing

What the fuck is wrong with you. Those things require literally no effort.
With 6 levels of technician, -1 to all stealth skills and shiving the evil satan-worshiping wizards.

Deus vult!
So, edgy, then.
I just act like an overly religious nutjob that believes everyone out there is a filthy heretic.
That petition might not ping evil because paper can't be evil unless it directly causes it? Unless its malicious giving out paper cuts you'd get jack shit from it even if it was a contract for your soul that will go to open a permanent portal to hell.
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I just want to make the world a better place and show people that they can be more than what they think they are. Slaying demons is fun too.
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Gotta make sure my church is getting all the bling bling
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By upholding the authority and will of worthy nobles, trying to "teach" unworthy ones and peasants alike that to rule is both the right of the good and the privilege powerful.

She has 0 respect for people that don't acknowledge the necessity for noble rulership, and for people that would abuse said position. Nor does she have respect for people unwilling to improve their own lot through hard work and self sacrifice. Essentially, doing your best is as important as doing what is right; the two in her mind are inseparable.
I prefer the Michael Carpenter method. Quiet strength and resolve. Be there to catch others when they fall, to bring people back to redemption, and, if refused, stop them.
By always trying diplomacy first, never making assumptions as to whether the goblin party in the road are trying to rob me until it actually happens... and then entering righteous and holy rage and spilling blood for the Fire God when they prove to be a band of walking stereotypes that are making life harder for civilized goblins everywhere. Wash. Rinse. Repeat with nominal variations. With little deviation. (One of the other party members is a mind flayer with brain damage. He's a funny guy.)
He's a reckless, unflinchingly chipper child soldier pulled from a feudal world's royal guard. Largely unphased by 40k's grimy grimdark after spending most of his formative years immersed in gory chainsword combat and human tragedy, he sees all of this Inquisition business as a big, exciting pulp novel adventure, and his chance to become a Hero of the Imperium.
>Nor does she have respect for people unwilling to improve their own lot through hard work and self sacrifice.
Within the limits your birth allows of course, you filthy peasants.
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This is how I Paladin.
I play an antipaladin. He heard the phrase that money is the root of all evil, and thus he offers people the choice to pay him to leave them alone, until they have less money than he does. Then he cleaves.
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In her land, a noble becoming a peasant is like the American dream, but actually possible. Former peasants tend to almost have higher standing than many noble houses (unless said noble houses have recently done something noteworthy to affirm their positions).

She hasn't really grasped that this isn't how it works everywhere, and tends to view not peasants and nobles in her current location disappointing at best.
Skoll Bearmangler is an Orc paladin.

He was saved by a wandering Paladin when his mother lie dying from a nearby battle.

Skoll believes that the strongest and most powerful are the ones who are righteous.

Ergo, Evil is weak and weakness must be crushed underfoot by the mighty hand of Good.

Evil acts are a sign of weakness. Good acts are a sign of strength.

Weak people need to hoard money because they're weak, Strong people can give charitably.

Weak people cower when injustice is shown, Strong people stand up for what's right.
I'd steal this idea, but I can't display such weakness to my friends.
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>Long term Pathfinder game
>Playing sword and board paladin
>Going through dungeon
>Series of six repeating rooms we cannot get out of, and whose traps reset every time we enter
>Pass through twice trying to figure out the puzzle, eventually look into one of the many mirrors set about
>Mirror shows utterly black reflection, only showing us a door which isn't there and translating the mysterious scribbles on the wall into a message:
>Pretty pissed at all this, since it seemed like a completely unsolvable puzzle (DM later admitted he fucked it up a bit)
>Think about the clue, "Faith"
>Decide to walk through the entire suite of trap-filled rooms with eyes closed
>"But anon, that's fucking crazy!"
>My response: "Faith."
>I walked blind through six rooms in a straight line that were cursed and trapped against any who would enter. The doors remained open as I marched down the center of the hall, suffering poison arrows and hidden floor-blades, explosions and spike pits all the way
>The party watched as their Paladin was taken apart, piece by piece
>Due to injuries, blood-loss, and a suddenly reduced Con score, I was down to 2 hp as I reached the last door and pushed it open
>Beyond was a new room, outside the puzzle
>We rested a bit, and then continued on our quest

How'd I do?
A paladin who lost his memory in an accident and thinks he is a fighter that can backrub pain away.
If I was the DM I would have altered my absurd trap to be solved by that.
Apparently that's what he did. He admitted his way of solving it was too clever for its own good, and he was super impressed by me just walking through his minefield. Especially since the Rogue had already disabled the traps once and had a good idea of the damages and effects they could dish out. The fact that I made it through the first room was apparently a statistical longshot.
I rather like that, a paladin that doesn't realize he's a paladin
This is actually my first paladin, and he's still going.
>3.5, make a paladin with a tower shield and a longsword
>Find out later that I can't shield bash with a tower shied, keep it anyway, make a short backstory
>Before becoming a paladin, he was a poor blacksmith
>One day his worn-down workshop collapsed due to bad maintainance
>The blacksmith survived because a tower shield fell from the wall and protected him from the debris

He has to bear the company of a CE barbarian and a LN cleric who is slowly being corrupted by hi- its presence.
The Paladin is trying to figure out a plan to put a stop to the barbarian's acts, facing his two-handed sword and evil amulet enchanted with lifesteal doesn't seem like an effective method.
>Party find out about a temple being loaded with gold on an island notorious for its xenophobic natives
>We convince a captain to take us there, pay some for the trip and split some profits
>Captain pulls near the island, we get on a rowboat and get to shore where a path leads to the temple
>Camp out, get attacked in the night but repel them pretty easily
>Morning comes, start down the path and send to rogue into the surrounding forest to scout for an ambush
>She finds one and reports back, they don't know we know yet
>Tell the party to hide nearby, kneel and hold out gold coins
>I figure if they stock the temple with gold they probably value it like we do
>The would-be ambushers return with the village elder who can speak to us
>Learn that they think all foreigners are violent and exploitative
>"Wait, if all of us are unfriendly, how did you learn to speak Common?"
>GM realizes he messed up, but the party is getting impatient and I realize we're getting nowhere fast
>Offer him the gold for the right to leave peacefully
>We return to the ship
>Captain demands to know why we don't have the gold
>"Well sir, your scout must have been mistaken- the artifacts in the temple were made of sulfur and if seen from afar they are a similar color."
>inb4 no they're not, I'm aware
>Roll 26 bluff but GM really wants to run his dungeon
>Captain doesn't believe me, drops the rowboat back in the water and demands we go bring him back gold
>Smite evil
>Party defeat him in the surprise round
>Crew doesn't help, say he was a dick
>Get first mate to take us back to port, convince him to legally transfer us the ship in exchange for the valuables in its stores
>While in town we conveniently hear of a suspiciously similar temple, but on an abandoned island
>Loot and good times had
So I avoided slaughtering innocents for money but attacked someone without violent provocation. How'd I do?
10/10, would trust you to choose the Grail
>Backstory explains his use of the tower shield
>Not why he became a Paladin
I mean it's cool that you gave such importance to your equipment and explained your (assumed) Craft skills, but I feel like you are neglecting important information here.
Sorry, I forgot to mention that the shield bore an emblem of The Feather.
Our DM made his own gods for the setting, The Feather is a LN deity.
Ohhhhhh. Right makes sense.

Very cool then, might steal that.
What was the answer supposed to be? Were you supposed to pray to your deity to let you out or something?
I kneecapped a guy with a crossbow once
DM's answer:
>Look into mirror
>See mysterious door
>Walk backward
>Mime opening door
>Magically somewhere else

I threw a potato chip at the fucker.
Not entirely unreasonable, just nowhere near as damn cool as your solution.
...you didn't try that?
I mean the "faith" clue was certainly out of place with that solution but as soon as I saw the door I'd have tried that first.
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We did. We just didn't do the "Walk backward" to the door bit
Oh, well that's significantly less reasonable.
Can I get some paladin tips? Setting up a Bloodborne-esque Victorian Gothic game, with a trained paladin corps being a major institution, evolved from various knightly orders absorbed into the church. What would a Victorian knight even look like (no stampunk pls)?
My paladin was less of a French one and more of an Aztec one.
If he loses does that make him evil?
How to paladin:
>Detect evil everything
>Smite evil
>Screw every single stealth mision
>Argue with the inquisidor
>a noble becoming a peasant is like the American dream
Do you mean a peasant becoming a noble?
No, he's from the future when Obama is president.
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>Play at a games shop and decided to play pathfinder for the night
>Made a paladin who prays to a god of gems who i made up and DM was fine with.
>Gave him a warhammer and gem encrusted armor
>Made paladin flamboyant and likes to heal people.
>Our first mission was at the emerald spire, did not know it was going to be this mission (a huge emerald gem in the middle of tower)
>we walk around for a bit
>find the giant gem that in the middle of the tower
>paladin runs up to it and hugs it, DM says roll fort save
>pass and keep on hugging it
>every floor we walk down we come across the huge gem that in the middle
>hug and roll fort
>people were laughing at this, except this one guy
>that guy, everytime I do something silly he sighs.
>he was playing some chick who always stayed back and let eveyone do the work
>catch on to this, i start to fuck with him.
>he get hurt and request and heal.
>I go up to the chick and hug her
>guy said "wtf are you doing"
>I say in a very flamboyant voice "I am a paladin of *gem god name* and for us to heal the wounds of our allies we must embrace them into are outrages gems."
>he start bitching how that gay and start bitching to the DM
>The DM says "he's RPing his character and he's doing a better job than you at it."
>this point everyone is pissing themselves.
>i start to RP again "May my large ruby gems reinvigorate you!"
>I roll max
>The guy just sit there looking pissed at me knowing he can't do shit now.
>Time passes
>The guy hero is badly wounded and yes to ask for help.
>I walk up to her and say "Do you wish to be embraced my my amazing gems again, for you look to be in major pain."
>I open my arms at the table and look at that guy
>he stands up, calls me a faggot and leaves.
>we all burst out laughing.
>At the game shop, I'm now know as the Gem Knight who got rid of a smelly, uptight, asshole that no one in the store like.
>I still play my gem paladin to this day.
>Man, I really like all this money I have but
>Y'know what would be cool?
>Spending the rest of my life shoveling horseshit and getting beaten up by the local knights
>With an imaginary white picket fence and 2500 kids
Obviously it was edgy commentary on America
No it makes husband righteous fury burn brighter.
Did you ever find out why you were rolling fort? If Emerald Tower is a premade adventure I'm not familiar
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I'd jiggle his jewels.
nope, I have the feeling that it was radioactive and now my paladin is now sterile. just a guess
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And he would let you.
My moorish fellow of good standing.
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>Fight evil wherever you find it
>Lend a hand to those seeking assistance
>Empower others to help themselves
>Have faith but don't depend on your god for everything
>Hone your psychical skills as much as possible.
>Fight with courage against the most fearsome foes
I thought that was Sanya.
>Put a bug on my head that slowly devours my brain
>Go mad in search of light in the darkness
If you wanted to bluff by talking about another mineral that resembles gold, you could have just used pyrite, aka "fool's gold".
How does one become a paladin?
I want to play one (5e oath of Devotion) and our DM wants us all to specify how we got our classes, since having even one class level is supposed to be a "big deal" in this game.
I don't want to just say, "I was raise at the monestary to be a warrior of god." or "My family was destroyed and I swore to protect others from such harm."

So what I guess I'm really trying to ask is:
>WHY do you paladin?
Unfortunately I got that "Raised at a church" thing going in full force... that said, "raised at a church after being seperated from her mother and she found the teachings of *Homebrew god of fire and passion* accepting of the fact that she was born from a human and some sort of demon... and found these ideals worth standing up for and spreading... even if she has a bit of a temper."

The Church didn't train her to be a holy warrior, it taught her compassion and to stand up for what she believed in wholeheartedly.
Too soon, bro.
Street urchin attempts to pickpocket a paladin, gets caught and mentored by that paladin, eventually becoming one themselves.
I imagine a lot of paladins care less about the deity and more about what the deity stands for. If I played a paladin they'd have a fierce sense of justice and fairness, they became a paladin because they couldn't stand seeing the weak trampled on.
If you don't do Solaire's questline in Dark Souls 1, he goes into the depths of the world in search of his Sun, but is deceived (or possibly goes mad first) by an insect called a Sunlight Maggot, which attaches itself to his head. You then have to put him down, as he attacks you.
By actually being a melee warlock who has joined a pact with an angel, because fuck deities being up your ass about upholding your code and all that.
Quick question for you paladinbros:
I have a DM that for some reason absolutely despises the idea of a Lawful Good Paladin (or Cleric, for that matter), because then he's beholden to a Lawful Good god so he can't do a single morally questionable thing. Whenever I ask him why he doesn't like the alignment, he just goes
>Lawful Good is equal to Lawful Stupid
What are some good arguments?
Somebody here must have the Lawful God Luffy screencap.
>and now my paladin is now sterile.
Not that it matters, t.b.h.
>When a character's code (Law) and morals (Good) come into conflict, he must obviously choose between them
>Obviously, this leads to him sometimes choosing Law, and thus being morally questionable
>We're this not true of Lawful Good characters, no non-neutral alignments could exist, as it extends to them
>Lawful Evil characters are not despicable all the time, as it may not be beneficial to their long term goals
>Lawful Good characters are the same
>Lawful Good denotes intention
>Human will is not unfaltering
>A character's struggle to be Lawful and Good when he occasionally fails to do so it what makes him compelling
>Fuck you, I'm finding a GM who isn't a closeminded retard
I have a Nature paladin with the Folk Hero background, and I'm fluffing it as the god noticing the good he'd already done for others and for his domain and simply asking the PC to work on his behalf. So just making the job official.
Anybody got the pic of the asshole fighter who turned out to be a paladin all along?
>DM: Lawful Equal is equal to Lawful Stupid.

More seriously, your DM is an idiot. Paladins aren't beholden to any deity unless they choose to be. And, Lawful Good doesn't mean being PURE AS LIGHT. It means looking to do the most good for the most people most of the time, all within the framework of established morality and law as often as is possible.

Typical Exceptions To Paladin Rules:
>if the local law is evil and/or serving no public good, then it doesn't have to be followed
>mercy is a luxury, so sometimes it's preferable to execute the repentant bandit so he doesn't have a chance to lapse back into wicked ways (the Blackbeard Rule)
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My paladin is from a culture that puts the idea of the strong being responsible to defend the weak above all else; this extends into their "religion:" admiration of mortal saints rather than worship of an actual creator.

She's the fifth child of a duke, with no chance to inherit she took up the mantle of a warrior from a young age, learning the ways of knighthood so that she might serve her house and family. She has a long history of anger issues, aggravated by the fact that she had to kill her brother in order to defend her secret lover, an heir to the rival house, in order to keep them from both being killed.

She now wanders from town to town, fighting evil in whatever way she can as a form of repentance, knowing only too well that she will likely never see her family or love again.
Never give up on faith either.
Michael is actually a better example of a retired paladin than he was as a paladin. One book wonder Shiro, on the other hand....
>tfw the actions and faith of a single character set in motion the events that will well after his death pull a good man back from the brink, bring a worthy man into the order, and help neutralize one of the biggest baddies his order has ever faced.
Also, mouse clearly has levels in paladin
They have Internet in galts gulch?
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Here's the drunk paladin.

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It's all about handling things as a player, realizing you're part of a group while still playing it straight.

It's very easy to say that you have personally chosen to hold yourself to a higher standard, mandated by your god. Being a being of enlightenment and reason, you know that not all other will do this, in fact very few of them will. That will probably not stop you from espousing the benefits of your faith and lifestyle at the same time.

So let's say the party thief wants to break into some story important place the party can't access lawfully. Lawful stupid would turn him int. Or worse take him in personally.

But the reasonable paladin (and player) knows that doesn't work well. You can refuse to personally be a part of the illicit activity, but promise to not turn over the rogue if he doesn't steal anything for his own personal gain, for the benefit of the greater good.

In my own case, this was finding out the identities of individuals who threatened the general public safety.

It has the additional benefit, on a player level, of letting my friend actually steal stuff like I know he wants to. Because my character is very purposefully not present. So everyone has fun, and no one breaks their oaths.

In short it's about balancing your player knowledge and character knowledge.

Also, you're GM has to be reasonable. If you're going to lose your powers every time you "violate your oath" by overlooking a jaywalker, well, that won't be very fun. In that case play neutral good if you can, and just lean lawful.
You're a credit to the order, ser.
>In that case play neutral good if you can, and just lean lawful.
That's what I'm planning on doing. Hopefully I'll be able to slowly change his mind.
The shield is there to protect those who cannot protect themselves. The spear is to strike the fear of light into those who would endanger the meek.

The gods are for clerics to worship, and their petty demands often get in the way of doing actual good. Fighters and rangers are there to kill dragons and raid goblin camps; my duty is to protect the innocents who are in danger NOW. Corrupt governments destroy many more lives on a daily basis than a pack of orcs or a low-level necromancer in an abandoned tomb.

Lives can be bettered without combat. A good paladin helps an old woman carry her groceries, offers coins to beggars and finds the stray dog a home with a lonely child.

Liberating a village from its oppressive, corrupt mayor is meaningless unless a better system is instated. It is the job of those who would overthrow the corrupt to ensure that chaos does not follow in the new vacuum of power.

Assumption is the bane of honour. Diplomacy is always a first resort, a second resort, and a third resort if possible. The more good can be done without bloodshed, the better. Speak with opponents before you attack--but stay on your toes with a drawn weapon, just in case.
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>Big boned, home-fed farm boy
>Good natured, becomes paladin of god of agriculture
>local celebrity, beloved by the small people
>Basically the idealized version of a small town football hero
>Not too bright, but filled with folksy wisdom, faith and benevolence

Group fell apart shortly after he had appointed himself to shape up the local villages into proper militias in anticipation of an attack.
>basically lifted wholesale from The Crystal Shard
well damn your DM is kind of a faggot
I'm really not surprised. He actually, unironically wears a fedora.
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That's basically the look I give him most nights. He's gotten better. We came to kind of a breaking point and had it out. Turns out getting into a fight with someone is how both of us deal with issues.

We cool now. Except the fedora thing. That's haram.
>ram stick far up my asshole
>intentionally engage in party conflict
>intentionally engage in PvP
>get ass-blasted when party wrecks my shit
Confirmed shitter, ironic or no.
>How do you paladin?
You have to dream the impossible dream, fight the unbeatable foe, bear with unbearable sorrow, and run where the brave dare not go.

Additionally, you must right the unrightable wrong, love pure and chaste from afar, try when your arms are too weary, and reach the unreachable star.
With courage.
This is how I paladin. My last crusader was a pious witch hunter and slayer of evil. I probably could have gone with a ranger, but liked the idea of my inquisitor being a holy knight. He had a tendency to set things on fire.
>WHY do you paladin?
A paladin is the one who brings hope and justice where they are needed the most. Paladins fight for those who can't. Paladins are the living manifestation their all things right and noble.
Chances are if you are a paladin, any other path is just not enough for you.
I go around in the cheapest, rustiest armor i could find, use a sword so blunt i convinced my GM to let me use it as a warhammer, give away all money i ever get, sell everything at 80% of what was offered for it and then donate that money away too,only take support spells and never kill a humanoid creature unless necessary.
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If my most successful paladin to date is anything to go on, by beating the shit out of kids apparently.
>entertain idea that your quest is all for nothing
>come to the insight that maybe you don't know what you're doing
>start fearing that everyone views you as a fool and that they might be right
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" We stand as wardens for the world. We were chosen for this task for our faith was strongest among mortalkind when the Traitor of Light was cast deep into the earth. We were chosen to guard over his prison. We stand against the Dark Legions that have escaped their masters fate and seek to ruin the world again. For three thousand years the Citadels have stood. The fortresses have held. The faithful have bleed in every defense. We are the Order and while the world lives in blissful ignorance of the horrors of the Broken Land, we gaze into the abyss. Watching. Waiting. Warding over the world. None will know our names or our deeds, save our brothers and sisters.

We stand.
We hold.
We give our eternal watch. "
I actually managed to save him without the guide. I just felt so bad for the fair lady that I covered her face in my humanity whenever I had some to spare
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my brother killed my father while trying to kill my brother to be the one who would have inherited everything.
as the thirdborn son and crusader of Moradin i swore an oath of vengeance to bring that cunt to justice, and you've better fucking believe it that i'm going to do it.

this is how i paladin.
>>groceries are contaminated
>>beggar buys booze and drunken murders old woman
>>dog mauls child
>>new mayor is trump

You're banned from paladins, Eric.
>white knighting a demon
Don't we all have demons inside of us, anon?
No. However we do all have a skeleton inside us all.
I play a fighter with some religious convictions. The paladin class was the worst mistake since the monk.
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I am protector of the weak and helpless, healer of the injured, caretaker for the sick, and when necessary, sword for justice.
You mean I could be skeleton man?
Magic soul contracts have magic auras.
Magic hell portal soul contracts have an evil descriptor.
The rest of your argument is valid.
No Anon, you are the skeleton.

This is how I paladin.
I feel like that's an edit of another image.
I'm I just schizophrenic?
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No it most certainly is.
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This is a feat I put In a high powered game. Note that it's not specifically a paladin feat.
>Pledge of fire
>prerequisites: worshipper of the white Fire, LN, NG, LG, charisma 11
>>you may cast produce flame 5/day at a level equal to your character level

There is a lawful, divine variant of the pyrokineticist
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The director felt that this is Solairs canon ending.
Thank you. I prefer this one.
The director can suck my massive paternal dick.
He did however say that if you saved Solaire he would go on to defeat Gwyn in his own world and link the fires.
I'd drop my sign for that.
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>Ignores Chaotic Good

My Paladins prioritize compassion above all. They're Warriors because it's their avenue to enlightenment and because it's a necessity for protecting the good in others. They emphasize trying to bring out the good in evil people and convert them (not necessary religiously, but try to convince evil doers of the error in their ways) but has no qualms with engaging in justified violence, since they know they did everything they could.

It's a little different than the usual catholic crusader type but it's a change of pace in RPing
>>45331593 why do I paladin?
Because we're not angels, but we can try.

The world will never be made perfect but it can be made better, if you're right and human nature means everything good gradually decays then that just means that good is dependant on another good person coming along down the road and fixing it again then that's achieveable.

No-one's perfect, we all fear, hate, rage and desire sometimes, but it doesn't have to define what we are. We won't ever be angels but we can try to be, to become better than human and do what we know in our heart-of-hearts to be the right thing.

And in a way it makes us better than the angels. A god casting down a demon is another myth to be told around a campfire, a man fighting a great evil and overcoming his own is a legend. And if his achevements fade it doesn't matter because he will have the made the world better, at least for a little while, and his legend will inspire others, people who see what humanity is capable of and strive to to what is right, and as long as the cycle continues, there will always be someone there to fix the world when the imperfections of humanity cause it to crumble.

Even the greatest of heroes will stumble, and they'll fail, because we're not perfect, but it doesn't matter because not being perfect doesn't mean we stop trying.

We're not angels, but some will always try, and the world owes those men much.
Towershield Anon here.
My DM has some strange tastes in alignments.
He actually loves it when people go full lawful stupid and the like. Heck, he sometimes gives players a tiny bit of extra xp for good roleplaying.
But that's not what I was going to post about. I want to ask you lot if you're okay with me posting about my paladin's adventures. I've posted it once before, but I got a little more stuff to add.
Sure nigga let's hear it
Does someone coming with Mormon space marines count?
A quick introduction, then.
The whole adventure is a beer & pretzels session loosely based on Hercules The Legendary Journeys, not too serious, but occasionally has some good drama. Game is hosted by two different DMs, Funny and Brother. Brother is the original DM, Funny is the visiting director who likes grimdark settings and tries his damnest to kill everyone by sapping their attributes to 0.
>LN cleric, Moralius, wields a warhammer and a shield. physically average, but packs up some mean spells. Also considered our series' ''MC''
>Also found our barbarian FROZEN under an avalanche, thawed him and gained his eternal gratitude
>CE Barbarian, Brutalix, is a beast, possibly a nenderthal. Wields a 2h sword, is both strong and dexterous and somehow smart enough to read, but not to write
>Simple-minded, but greedy and selfish as hell. Also dangerously violent.
>Wizard Chris Angelus. Adept in illusionary spells but also has a fireball so powerful it makes everyone nervous.
>LE fighter (rarely comes to our session, but we don't mind), Alcoholius, is Moralius' brother. He killed their abusive father as a child and was cast out. Now works as a town guard. Wields a two-hander, naturally
>Gnome Bard, whose name we never remember (rarely comes to sessions, but we don't mind) occasionally joins our adventures when he happens to wander in a town we're already at.
>One sneaky fellow who makes a song about ANYTHING
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>DM says we must be paladins on a holy crusade
>I never liked paladins but I like this DM so I'll roll with it
>get really bad rolls
>8 Int and 9 Wis
>My holy crusade is to ease people's pain and being an end to suffering
>some how come to the conclusion that people can't suffer if they are dead
>I burn entire towns in the name of my god
>start up a holy order
>some unsavory types try to join
>beat them until they repent in their ways
>start crusading some more
>more towns start catching word of this and quickly start converting
>become a warrior pope
>have holy papal army seek out corruption, suffering, and other assorted evils to crush them
>the other players have jut kind of went a long with this because they think it's funny
>eventually my religion is the only legal one to follow
>purge all that think otherwise
>be old, probably going to die soon
>decide that I want to be an immortal pope
>go on one final adventure
>take the players with me
>devious dungeon to kill them and preform ritual to become a lich
>come back to my people and tell them that our god has not found the other worthy and has blessed me with great power
>be eternal pope
And that's how I ended world suffering
Our first session was pretty simple, we got used to our characters, see how things worked.

My paladin, Colehtimus, was ordered to follow Moralius in his adventures. Officially Moralius was my mentor, who taught the paladin about the way of The Feather and the demigods who served The Feather.
We did some random quests we got in a small town. One of them was about solving the town's problem with renegades in the woods, who kept them from getting more land to the town.
The renegades turned out to be another village, filled with druids and elves. They told us the villagers had promised to leave them in peace hundreds of years ago, they were merely retaliating when people invaded their territory.
My first thought was that the villagers had forgotten about the old promise and decided to take the diplomatic course. The druids and elves agreed to talk more about the territories with the town's mayor, who we had to escort there. Unfortunately, when I was sleeping, Moralius, Brutalix and Angelus burned down the whole forest. The paladin never found out the truth, but the whole matter left a bad taste in his mouth.

I was pretty silent in that session, but the next few ones had a little more color. I'll write them in the paladin's point of view.
I fucking love this.
When we returned to the town, we found two more quests on the bulletin board. One was about a Hydra lurking in the sewers, and the other was rumors of a wizard trying to become a Lich in a castle not far fom the town.
Obviously, we went to investigate the Lich-To-Be in a castle. The Castle was old and crumbling, possibly held together by magic. Outside the castle, there were large piles of bones everywhere. As we approached the castle doors, two giant skeletons rose from the piles.
Moralius was quick on the uptake and Turned the undead. He didn't manage to destroy them, but the spell was powerful enough to make them run away, making it easy to give them eternal peace.
The Rumors were true, too. The wizard was atop of the castle, about to finish his giant spell. He was, however interrupted by our barbarian who lunged at him and nearly killed him with a single slash. Simply put, The Lich-To-Be didn't expect us to get through his traps and steel door so quickly.
Next we went for the Hydra in the Sewers. On our way there we met a Kobold sorcerer, a servant of some evil deity. As we charged to attack the Kobold, he teleported our and we were surrounded by a pair of Jelly Cubes on each end of the tunnel.
Thanks to Brutalix's strength, we managed to escape and found a treasure room.
Which was also a trap. One of the chests Moralius went to investigate turned out to be a Mimic. He survived the surprise attack and I struck down the Mimic.
Upon its death, the creature spat out a better sword for me and Brutalix, which we gladly accepted. After running in circles in the sewers for a day, we finally found the Hydra's Lair.
We all agreed that we can't kill the beast directly, so we made a plan.
Angelus put the beast to sleep and we quickly cut and burnt two of its heads. It was easier fighting the last two.
After we completed the two quests and spent our rewards to our needs -and charity, of course- we found one last quest in the town.
There was a small monastery of The Feather on the mountains, a few das away from the village, urgently asking for help. Moralius and I didn't know what was waiting for us, but we went to the mountains with haste.
We arrived late. The Monastery was dead silent and the corpses of the monks were scattered everywhereoutside . Moralius, Brutalix and I split up to look for any survivors or clues to find out what happened there.
I found more corpses in a small hut, which I assumed to be the sleeping quarters. Then I heard Moralius yelling inside the Monastery. He told me someone wants hom dead and this place is a trap.
As we quickly agreed to leave the place, I noticed that some of the corpses were missing. Before I got to warn the others, something hit Britalix on the head and knocked him out.
An assassin attacked was standing in front of us, demanding us to surrender. As we were fighting, I noticed how the assasin wasn't fighting seriously, he didn't use the edge of his blades on me. This confused me quite a bit.
Come to think of it, if the Assassin managed to knock out Brutalix, it would have been alot easier to kill him. If Moralius is wanted dead, why is he not killing us?
I decided to attempt knocking him out to tie him up and interrogate him, but my blows never hit the target.
To my surprise, he DID use the edge of his blades on Moralius, nearly killing him. Alive, but unable to move, I was the last one standing. The assassin wouldn't give me enough time to heal Moralius and he wouldn't survive long enough for me to keep fighting.
The assassin once again demanded me to surrender.
''If I do, will you let us live?''
He said we were more valuable alive. Finally understanding his motives, I had no choise but to drop my sword to let my mentor live. Then I was knocked out.
>Screw every single stealth mision
>Sneaking through jungle
>Paladin in party
Oh well.
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This is how I paladin.
I woke up later inside a cage on a caravan. The assassin was taking us to the village. We were still on the mountain roads, on the way down.
The first thing I noticed was that we had lost our equipment, which was inside a chest near the cage.
The second thing I noticed was Brutalix sneaking besind the assassin and pulling a lever lext to him. The caravan was no longer attached and we fell down the mountain. The assassin looked shocked and the barbarian looked damned proud for his cunning plan. I'm guessing falling down was part of it.
We survived the fall and by some odd luck crashed near our Wizard's encampment.
We had a quick reunion, got our gear back and explained what happened to Angelus.
We decided to return to the town to figure things out.
When we got there, the town was on fire. While we were gone, the place was attacked by cultist who had taken over the local Cathedral of The Feather. We dashed in the cathedral, finding a group of cultists finishing some strange spell and teleported to another dimension. One of the surviving priests explained that they are in the realm of the Feather and are trying to kill or corrupt the deity.
After a quick puzzle, we got in the Realm of the Feather. It was a strange place, a piece of barren land flying over the clouds, with a giant feather of an eagle floating over it. I thought of it as the Essence of The Feather, not the whole thing. The feather was slowly being covered by mud and black sludge, and we knew the cultists were doing it. There was only one cultist in front of the feather, chanting a powerful spell. He was protected by some sort of ward, which kept us from attacking him, so we went a little creative. While Brutalix and I were distracting the cultist by uselessly swinging over his ward, Angelus and Moralius were using magic to dig the ground below the cultist. In a matter of seconds, the hooded figure fell through the hole below him, breaking his chant into a high-pitched scream.
>By always trying diplomacy first

My paladin's catchphrase quickly became "DIPLOMACY HAS FAILED" whenever initiative had to be rolled.
All the mud that was crawling up the feather disappeared, making the Feather glow with a strange light. I kneeled down, but Moralius didn't. He was standing stiff with his eyes wide open, as if he was frozen in place.
After a few moments, we were teleported out of the realm back in the town. We went to rest in a tavern, where Moralius told us what happened. He had a vision from the Feather. We had to travel north, to the mountains. There was a well known mining town in the mountains, famous for their massive amounts of mithril. The travel would take roughly a week, and it was time for The Great Fasting.
Brutalix sounds like a very creative idiot. Fun character.
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I hate to break it to you, but you are in the skeleton.
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This is how I paladin.

Remove evil from the premises.
No, you are rather trapped by the skeleton.
To put it short, The Greast fasting is when one of the demigods traveled in barren lands for a week, not eating anything. Some monks of The Feather see this as a great feat, and go fasting for a week or two to get a closer connection to their deity.
On certain cases, drinking was allowed, but eating was strictly forbidden. Moralius wanted the two of us to start fasting for the duration of the travel. I agreed to do this, seeing this is a mission given by God, after all.
We prepared for the trip, Angelus and Brutalix bringing large amounts of meat and barrels of ale, while I got ourselves a caravan for the goods. The ride was taxing, mostly due to the barbarian eating roasted pork next to me while I was riding EVERY DAY. I managed to bear the hunger for three days, but it was starting to keep me awake.
During our trip we were stopped by an ambassador. Turns out he was looking for ME.
The knights who trained me before had invited me to their encampent to inherit my uncle's things, as he has recently passed away.
The three fellows behind me quickly came up to me, saying it was okay go in the encampment.
In Angelus' words; ''Maybe he has left some trea- I mean something important for you!''
Thus , we rode to te encampment, where I met my old cousin, Blackmailus.
Now, I hold all my relatives close to my heart, but Blackmailus has a hard time making friends.
''My dearest cousin! I haven't see you for years!''
''That is because I DIDN'T WANT to see you!''
Blackmailus had brought our Uncle's last will and testament to the knights, who kept him from opening the letter alone, they didn't want him to inherit everything for himself.
After a few minutes of introductions, pleasant chatting and calming the barbarian, we opened the letter.


Signed, Assholius Maximus

I was pretty shocked by he letter. After a little checking, I confirmed it was not forgery. But good lord, how could I ever think of killing one of my own relatives?!
Luckily, Blackmailus agreed with me that a fight to the death is not a good solution and we needed an alternative. Before we even got to planning, Moralius opened his mouth; ''Whoever said anything about killing? It migt as well be a simple duel.''
Both Brutalix and Angelus agreed with him, Blackmailus quickly after them. I still felt a little unsure about the idea, but the others were already settled on the matter. I didn't want to hurt my cousin, so I decided to grab him and tire him out on the duel.
In a few moments I had taken off my armor and weapons and started heading outside for the duel. Before I even got to the door, I heard Blackmailus yelling behind me 'THE DUEL STARTS NOW!' as he hit me on the head with a club.
I was shocked, but had no time to waste I turned around and grabbed my cousin. I told my friends not to interfere, since Blackmailus already started the duel with his words. Unlucky as I was, the knights were outside the buildng and we were alone inside. I had no choise but to fight him like this, I convinced myself.
Blackmailus kept hitting me, but I felt him getting weaker.
''You're cheating!'' My cousin yelled at me, but I couldn't know I was cheating. Heck, I didn't know HOW to cheat on a regular grapple while the target was swinging at you with a wooden club.
Little did I know that Brutalix was behind me, flexing menacinly in order to intimidate my cousin AND Moralius was quietly whisering a curse on Blackmailus, as well. Angelus, however, was just enjoying the show with a bag of frog legs. Wizards, go figure.
After a few more minutes I realized I might get tired before my cousin does, so had to give him something to think about. I headbutted Blackmailus, breaking his nose. He immediately gave up, left Uncle Assholius' will to me and left.
After reading through the letter a little furter, we found out that all my uncle's things were still in his mansion. With my misunderstood cousin giving me the will, I now owned the mansion and everything in it.
I had no use for the mansion myself, but I could put it to good use, I thought. Maybe an orphanage.
While I was planning such things, my friends urged me to go to the mansion, perhaps there was something useful left behind.
Perhaps they're right, I thought. I don't even know what condition the mansion is in. One of the knights told us the location of the mansion and we rode there. Luckily, the mansion was located north, so we wouldn't need to backtrack to find a way to the mountains.
On our way to the mansion, Moralius congratulated me, telling me that hitting my cousin was a good thing to do. He also told me a secret. Apparently people of The Feather are allowed to eat small roots during the fasting, within moderation, of course. Moralius handed me some roots, possibly some sort of herbs.
''Speaking of The Fasting'' I said ''You seem to take the whole thing pretty well, Moralius.''
The Cleric started sweating a little, he hastily boasted that he's fasting all the time. Something was not right. He was hiding something. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen that ring on his hand before.
I WANTED to believe him. I WANTED to believe my mentor, who teaches me about the ways of The Feather. I WANTED to think I was wrong, but I had to make sure.
''Sir, what is that ring on your hand?''
Before he could answer, Angelus yelled from inside the caravan ''It's A Ring of Sustenance! Wear it for a week and you never need to eat again! Handy little thing, isn't it?''
I dropped the herbs from my hand. My own mentor, doing such a thing was unbelievable.
Before I could ask him why, Moralius got angry, yelled at me and went to drink in the caravan.
I decided to ask my questions later. We don't have time for this just yet.
He's being roleplayed by one of our more experienced players. He stays pretty damn well in character. Heck, he even act more aggressively if a fight is over and the still has his rage on.

Continuing story on next post, gonna fetch some coffee real quick.

I never fully understood this, how did they not notice that he was healing them?
I played a tired paladin, who just wanted to make the world safe again so she could go home to her son.
DM was probably keeping track of HP instead of the players. Not exactly rare.

Oh, okay.
>I Detect Evil on the paper to see if its a bad contract.
You are the reason Detection Spells are first level and that Detect Evil only works on specific creatures now.
We arrived to the mansion the next day, and the hunger was getting to me. I was damned hungry and tired, but I forced myself to continue.
The mansion looked like any nobleman's house. A Large two-story building surrounded with a well-kept hedge.
When we went inside the mansion, we saw that it hasn't been disturbed for days. The floors were covered with dust. The dining room had a few plates with rotten food on them and the kitched had a couple of pots filled with the same spoilt food.
Upstairs there were three rooms, one was a bedroom, which I assumed belonged to me late uncle, a library, which looked like it was used as a playground for a little tornado. Moralius went inside the third room..
I first investigated the library, but found nothing. When I returned to the hallway, I noticed the walls looked strangely empty. I could've sworn there were a bunch of paintings and banners there just a moment ago.
I quickly turned my gaze to Brutalix, who was dragging a huge, heavy looking sack, walking towards my uncle's bedroom. I followed him.
I caught the barbarian digging through a chest in front of the bed, which contained -by adventurer's natural ability to count instantly- one thousand copper coins. Brutalix lifted the chest, possibly with the intent of taking it on the caravan, but I stopped him on the door.
''What are you doing?''
''Looting, what else?''
''I deserve my share!'' The barbarian was getting angry. ''You couldn't have even beaten your worthless cousin if Moralius and I hadn't weakened him first!''
That outburst caught me off-guard. Brutalix pushed me out of the way and went outside, chest of coppers with him.
I had enough, Moralius would have to explain this to me RIGHT NOW. I stomped towards the third room slammed the door open, FOUND THE CLERIC A- found the cleric standing over the corpse of my uncle. My anger faded and sorrow replaced it.
Nah bra, this is how everyone has ever paladin'd in my campaigns. They have biased me against paladins.
Looking more closely at the room I was in, I noticed it was completely different compared to the other rooms. The mansion was made of wood, this room was completely made out of stone. There were no windows, only several candles scattered everyhere. In the middle of the room, behind my uncle's corpse was some sort of an altar. In front of the alter was a magic circle carved on the floor. Actually, more of an oval than a circle. Mu uncle was holding a book in his hands. I picked up the book and opened it.
As I opened the book, I felt a cold wind going through me, filling the air. The book started turning pages at a furious pace, stopping on the last two entries.

~Finally I have all the things I need! I can finally become a Lich! If this ritual succeeds, I can rule over the world.~

~Well shit, turns out fooling death isn't so simple. I managed to create a ward to keep them from going out, but at night, this mansion goes into the negative realm, letting the monsters IN the mansion. I know you're reading this, Blackmailus! You're now trapped in this hellhole, and just like me, you're going to die a HORRIBLE DEATH!~

Immediately after reading the last entry, I heard Brutalix yelling downstairs ''WHY CAN'T I GO OUTSIDE?!''
We were trapped. We couldn't get out of the mansion, and it'd be filled with the undead once night comes. Angelus confirmed that there are two spells actve in the mansion. One is the ward that keep the undead from getting outside the second is the curse that keeps us inside. Moralius said that he could dispel the curse that is on us, but he would have to rest to learn the spell. Sun was setting fast. We would have to prepare for the night, and we'd have to let Moralius sleep through the night. This was not going to be easy. I was already too tired and hungry to do some serious fighting, but now was not the time. I told my weaknesses to go sit in a corner and I started preparing our defenses.
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As the sun set, we had barricaded the frond toor and windows, agreed on some patrol routes and the lot. The cleric went to sleep. As much as I hated to admit it, his ring was really useful, because he only required two hours of rest with it. But we'd still have to survive until sunrise before we could leave.
At first, everything seemed peaceful, if a little too silent than normal. I was patrolling upstairs, going back and forth between the bedroom and the 'ritual room'.
Moments passed and I heard Angelus point out that it was now midnight. Angelus and Brutalix were both downstairs.
Soon after that I saw shades crawling through the walls of the bedroom. Moralius was in danger. This was not going as planned. I yelled a warning as I stumbled inside the bedroom, getting the barbarian's and the wizard's attention. There were three wights in the bedroom and we managed to defeat them before anyone got hurt. We were lucky.
Moralius decided we didn't have enough power and walked out of the beroom into the ritual room. I shambled behind him.
Before I got to the door, Moralius returned. With a skeleton behind him. I quickly swicthed to my warhammer and prepeared to strike.
Before I got to swing down the hammer, teh cleric stopped me.
''No! That thing is on our side, I conjured a servant from your uncle!''
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''Consider this your uncle's last chance to redeem himself! His corpse will see to it that we'll survive the night!''
Silence. I was hungry. I was tired. I was too tired to be angry right now. I wanted to be angry, but I coldn't conjure the energy to do it.
I can talk about this thing with the cleric long and hard once this is over. Now is not the time, I convinced myself.
I lowered my hammer and resumed my patrol, not saying a word for the rest of the night.
We fought alot of the undead during the night, and as much I didn't want to think about it, the skeleton truly did help.
As dawn was approaching, all the undead, save for my uncle's skeleton wielding its ribs as daggers, crawled away before the sunlight hit the mansion. We had survived.
Moralius quickly undid the curse that was cast on us and started packing things up with the rest of the crew.
I approached my uncle, looking straight at his eye sockets for a long moment. Then I struck him with the warhammer.
I hit him. Not hard enough. Must've been all the fatigue botching my aim.
''What are you doing!?'' I heard someone yell. Maybe Moralius. I stepped closer to my uncle to Lay my Hand on him. I stopped. No, I was stopped. With magic.
NO! I MUST DO THIS! I willed the spell Holding me to break and started moving again. But just before I could touch the skeleton, someone grabbed me. BRUTALIX IS TRYING TO STOP ME!
I heard Moralius yelling something at the skeleton. I was too blind and deafened with rage to hear anything. The skeleton jumped through a window and ran away as fast as it could. I didn't have a chance catching it anymore. I stopped resisting on barbarian's hold. I had lost my strength, but my heart was burning with rage, confusion and sadness.
I only managed to whisper.
''Why, Moralius?''
The cleric looked confused.
''Why did you stop me, Moralius?''
''Because you weren't sane! The Order of The Feather values wisdom! What you just did was outright idiotic!''
''I was about to grant my uncle his eternal rest! What do you havo keep me from giving him peace?''
''Your uncle is already in hell.''
Silence fell over the mansion. My vision was getting blurry from the tears. Good thing I had my helmet covering my head.
''You ridicule the Great Fasting by using a loophole. You rigged a duel between me and my cousin. You raid the home of my relative for profit, raise the said dead relative into your slave and now you insult them right in front of me!? You say you're on a holy quest given by our God. You say we should value wisdom. I'm not all too smart, myself, but I can tell you, Moralius, that the decisions you've done lately have not been done wisely.''
''Where are you going with this?''
''Once this is over. Once this 'holy quest from God' is over, you will be judged.''

I managed to get out of the barbarian's hold, shambled outside, called my horse and prepared to leave to the encampment. I was going to tell the knights about the cursed manor before continuing my travels.
As I was preparing to leave, Brutalix walked next to me and whispered; ''If you ever plan on attacking Moralius, I WILL kill you.''
I think that was our fourth session. The DM rewarded us a little bit extra xp for that last bit of roleplaying.
I still have alot more stuff, but nothing as well packed as that one.
I am planning on taking down the cleric of the ever turn to the evil alignment, but I MUST find a way to get a hold of the barbarian. Right now he is too deadly with this two-hander, boots of haste and an evil, sentient amulet enchanted with lifesteal.
On our later session, the barbarian has tortured a bunch of people by snapping their fingers or whole limbs, depending on wether his rage has worn off or not. He also has a habit of killing prisoner which we have intended to take to the local guardsmen.
It also seems the cleric has picked the same habit, having killed a bandit who was tied up in a magical rope.
Paladin is having a bit of a crisis, he's been possessed a few times during our latest sessions, which makes him feel weak. In roleplaying sense, I mean.
>Duck out of fasting with loophole abuse
>Rig a duel
>Raid a home while the owner is inside
>Raise Dead in a party with a paladin
Fuck's wrong with him?
I want his ecclesiastical superior to slap the shit out of him.
>>Raise Dead in a party with a paladin
Reanimate dead, dude
My rage got in the way.
Goddamn, fuck that guy.
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Even Redeemer would approve.
I paladin like pic related. You don't need to be a zealot to want justice, and you don't need a sword when a strong right hook and a moral lesson will do.
A paladin disillusioned by the kingdom's law. I make it my mission not to try and put killers and rapist in the hands of apathetic bureaucrats and corrupt officials in hopes that they may see the error of their way. Instead of wistfully trying to change the nature of scum, I stop evil at the source. I'll wage war on them until either the last of them have fallen, or once my blade has fallen from my grip for the first and last time.
I had this idea
>act as support role / tank
>mission in life is helping others
>but the best way to help people is let them help themselves
>go around preaching self-improvement and helping, but never as the center of focus
>why kill the bandits when you can teach the peasants to fight and bless and heal them so they can storm the bandit lair ?
>actually a pretty quiet person, soothing and optimistic
But tripfag, the phrase is
>the love of money is the root of all evil.
Not money itself.
I definitely remember you storytiming before. Good read, can't wait for the next development.
You can definitely make a case for Frank Castle being lawful good, just straddling the line most of the time. He may be a vigilante, but he's one that is only trying to rid the world of the worst lawbreakers. He also goes out of his way to help innocent women and children should he come across them, that one story with the Russian girl being one of the better examples of just how determined he is to do what is right. The main problem is that his motivations for killing criminals varies between him enjoying the killing after his service in the military (and that his family's death was just an excuse to have a never ending war) or that he just wants to make sure no family has to go through what he went through by killing all the criminal scum that would do such a thing. Another problem is he rarely shows mercy to those that he knows are guilty. He doesn't kill indiscriminately though (unless he's under a shitty writer) and tends to do thorough background checks on those targets he can't be sure of.
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>Orthodox crosses
>Lamellar armor
>PX flags

Maybe I've been here for too long, but it has gotten to the point where any references to the East Roman Empire make me legitimately mad. I'm actually frustrated right now.
Why are you mad about the Eastern Roman Empire?
Because it no longer exists and it's full of kebabs now.
Door in mirror was my first thought.
>My kingdom is gone, rich, island state dissapeared in huge cataclysm I don't remember clearly, Only thing I remember it that wizard of court fucked something up
>After being washed ashore, I found out nobody remember my land, our trade partners swear they don't know me, all documents and books about it doesn't exist or tell about different places
>Will do almost anything to save his people,
>But I won't bring shame upon my homeland, I'm exemplar and my actions tell about my kingdom
>I really fucking hate Wizards
>Really, fuck them
>Fucking pajamas-wearing assholes
>More and more people call me liar
>I'm calm, but it's really irritating
>Fucking Magic
>Some day they'll know I'm right
>I finally found way to free my people, I just have to sail to my kingdom location and blow the "Horn of Abyss", magical artifact I found
>Fuck, something came out and it's not nice
>I found out my kingdom never existed, I was created by powerful being to find key to his prison, my memories are lie, my whole life is a lie
>I fucking flipped
>Time to smite
They probably have fiber optic connections in every house.
Byzantibooism is suffering
>Not Gaius Gallus Marcus Caecilius Valentinuanus IV
>Not Theodosia
That's just natural selection doing what it's supposed to be doing.
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