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MTG Scrub story thread?
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MTG Scrub story thread?
>play a budget infect deck vs a casual play
>beat him
>infect is too cheap! there is no way to deal with it! its a broken mechanic! you only have to do ten damage
>he starts screaming at me crying that infect is unbeatable and that I have no skill at magic
>play an even more casual control deck
>beat him again
>he starts screaming again, saying that not playing a lot of creatures make his removal spells useless and that I am dishonorable player for not using creatures
>play a garbage artifact deck against him
>beat him a third time
>your deck too consist! its boring playing against a deck that does the same thing over and over again! a REAL deck does something different every time and still wins!
And here you are bitching about it on an mongolian picture board
>play casual scrubs at draft
>help them optimize their decks after explaining why things are good or bad
>we all have fun
wow, you sure showed him.
>build several competitive deck because I practice for pro level events
>scrub friend comes to play over ask me if I they can borrow something
>lend them a tier 1 deck thinking I might learn what to not do
>Scrub friend ask for the deck I'm going to use instead since he doesn't trust me and think I gave him the paper to my scissor
>Sure whatever
>Still beat him no matter the matchup
>refuse to stop playing until I "lose" to him
I didn't think this through at the time and should have just told him we'd play something else but the guy think he's god given gift to MtG
>implying scrubs listen to criticism or feedback
>implying scrubs don't think its the games fault that they lose and that they believe that they are unbeatable
You give MTG scrubs too much credit.
You're just talking about new players, a scrub is someone without the ability or motivation to improve.
And why did you even bother playing with him again after the first time?
>Tfw I'm a scrub and constantly try to path hex proof creatures because I forget to read their abilities and still get mad about it
>play someone
>they're a giant sore loser
>play with them again
>yep, still a giant sore loser
>play with them a third time
I don't know what you were expecting.
>Play with friends
>Turns out I am the scrub
>My friends put up with this, and teach me how to play properly
>I love my friends
>imagining this card with RU spell copy effects

Muh dick
>Play with friends
>They all look ONLY at their cards and don't care about what the opponent is doing, they just want to attack until opponent is dead
>They always lose against me because of this
>They lose interest in mtg after a while
>I'm left completely alone with no one to play in my remote mudslime infected village in europe
>Playing with friends.
>We play with whatever we get out of the pack only.
>I get on a losing streak and decide to do something.
>Build a White/Green deck with land fetching and life gain.
>Spend $20 on singles, never spending more than $1.50 on any single card.
>Absolutely decimate my friends, my win:loss ratio is about 3:2.
>One complains about colossus of Arkos after he summons ulamog, the ceaseless hunger on his turn 7.
>Literally the only reason I won that match was because I spent every mana I had on fetching land and using alchemist vial to delay him exiling my entire deck.
>He still attacks with ulamog twice, meaning this is my last draw before I lose the game.
>Got 13 effective mana on the field.
>Due to tactful planning I have him down to 3 of his creatures.
>Draw Glimpse of The Sun God.
>Make colossus a 20/20 with 10 and tap his ulamog and oblivion sower with the other 3.
>Colussus slams him for 18 trample damage due to him only having a culling drone untapped, winning me the game.
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Forgot card.
>I'm a decent Magic player; know most of the rules. Studying to become L1, but still a ways to go.
>Go to a new store to play some good ol' fashioned EDH
>Sit at a table with an elderly couple and a young guy
>Old woman is constantly berating the old man (her husband, I think) and chastising him for bad plays or getting pissed when he does anytjing to her
>Old man quiet, contemplative, and extremely tolerant of this old hag's bullshit.
>Young guy is playing Scion of the Ur-Dragon. I have never seen this card before.
>He pulls off some shenanigans, swings at me with an Ur-Dragon-now-turned Skittles and claims the victory.
>Me: "I didn't quite follow that. Please explain how that combo works?"
>Him: "It just does."
>After a bit of heated discussion, a L1 comes over and explains the interaction
>Turns out the kid is a netdecking faggot who didn't even bother to look up the rules on his own cards
>Play a game against that guy again (I know, I know....)
>He plays TeferiWalker
>Do my best to shut him down, but he eventually gets the Chain Veil and mana rocks he needs to go infinite.
>Him: "Okay, so....wait, hold on....so I do this first....and then this...I think?"
>I literally have to show this fucker step-by-step how the combo works.

Moral of the story: Don't be a netdecker. Read the goddam rules.
The TO at the FLGS I go to has a "If you can't do the combo step by step until you hit a repeat point, you can't do the combo" rule. It's beautiful.
>Netdecks a $50 card
Jesus, faggots like you need to work on your lies.
>Netdecks a $50 card
Just because you're not ludicrously fucking rich doesn't mean other people aren't.
If I'm investing half a day's work into a single piece of plastic I would fucking research that shit.
oh, well i guess i don't really interact with scrubs then
There are people out there too dumb to be trusted with their own money.
>50 USD
>half a day's work
What's it like living below the poverty line?
>8 hour work day
>5 days a week
>Overtime not included
>$25,000 salary+Overtime
>Poverty line is $22,000
Eh, you got me there. But still, that's a lot of fucking money for a single card. I could probably order a deck of singles for that much and make a better deck than that thing.
>i played magic against a noob, he cried, it made me upset and now im blogging to my fellow fa/tg/uys about it

ur cool
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A couple years ago I was playing a Monday Night Magic at the shop the next town over. My friends and I had only been there 2-3 times. I ended up making it to the finals playing B/R Zombies, going against a 40 year old guy playing UW Delver. I slowrolled the fuck out of him and ended up sweeping him 2-0. After he scoops up I extend my hand my hand and say " Good games man", to which he shoots me a shitty look and says " You never offer a handshake if you're the one who won". I just kinda stared at him dumbfounded and said " Okaaay lol". Not even putting his cards back in his deck box, he scooped up all his stuff and walked out. Moments later a guy I made small talk with came up and says " He always does that".
>no greentext lel
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Well pic is like $150+ a pop. No wonder people are buying 4x proxies to save $585.
The definition of a scrub is someone who will not improve, for whatever reason, and is instead an obstinate cocksucker
I mean that's sort of part of the rules
You can't repeat a sequence you haven't even performed, because there's nothing to repeat

Otherwise a person with Eggs could just say "yeah I've got enough pieces to go infinite, if you don't agree go call the judge" and then the judge has to spend 10 minutes sequencing the combo
This is the story of a guy I used to play with, quite a while ago

>believed regenerate returned creatures from graveyard to play
>tells me this while I'm staring at his fucking cards with the regenerate reminder text written on them
>insists it works that way because "I did it on magic online"
>has a monogreen werewolf deck. he plays with clear sleeves and has the double sided cards in the deck instead of the proxy thingies
>has descendants path in his deck and uses it to put werewolves into play already transformed
>tell him it doesn't work that way
>he insists it does because "I did it on magic online"
>remember the regenerate thing? yeah he used full moon's rise to reanimate his whole graveyard
>insists it works that way because "I did it on magic online"
>also believed summoning sickness wore off at the end of his turn and would tap creatures for abilities during your turn
>I had no idea how MTGO at the time so I assumed it just didn't have any kind of rules enforcement and his opponents let him get away with dumb shit
>now know there's no fucking way and he was probably playing on some garbage 3rd party MTG program

"If you're not sure, just make up your own rules!"

He was an alright guy outside of magic though. I just didn't care for his wife and she didn't care for me, so our relations ended after just a few months.
I've had plenty of people insist that they can respond to a creature entering off of aether vial. Yes, I know instant speed lords/flickerwisps/revokers is a pain in the ass, but its how the card works.
But everybody should get a round of priority after the effect resolves before anything else does. Plenty of time to respond.

Or do you mean they think they get a chance to respond between you indicating what's coming in and it hitting the field?
woah buddy this is a blu

The latter.
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>Playing casual with some people at the FLGS
>playing against a U/B deck
>Try to summon myself student of oujai
>Gets counter spelled
>Actuavte summoning trap
>Play emrakul with it (Got it off a trade)
>Guy gets super fucking salty
>Gets his cards and storms the fuck off.
>He forgot a singing bell strike he left on one of my creatures.
>Try to wave him down
>He's already got in his Camry and left.
>Woot free card.
Bad example. Eggs can't go infinite off of an initial sequence. Like 4 Horseman it's not a 'sure thing' until you've done a lot of iterations.
Anyone have friends that cheat and think they're really good? Granted this friend was an incredible cheat and an alright magic player. That is what probably gave him such an edge.
>have friend who always is an exaggerated liar and sly bastard
>introduce him to magic
>He gets really good
>Think damn he has gotten very good
>Starts beating me a lot even with my modern deck
>builds his own modern deck continues beating me
>start getting frustrated I'm losing matches that were complete blow outs on my end
>Like he has 2 life and comes back with the most outrageous topdecks and plays
>happens a lot more then it should
>begin to watch him closely
>see that he draws cards when I'm not looking
>puts cards near the top of his deck
>other bullshit stuff
>So this is how you've been winning
>Begin calling him out on it, he denies it
>other friends begin catching him with me
>denies it
>whenever I catch him I just scoop my cards and walk away
>He wins several FNMs and drafts
>Says he's better than all of us
>Has blue tron and aggro modern decks
>When he doesn't cheat he gets destroyed by my out of date Jeskai control

From now on my friends and I have figured out how he has gotten so good even by our standards. Will always call him a cheat if he does it. We weren't bad magic players and usually one of us wins an FNM or draft, but when he began cheating he was a league above.
>having relations with another man's wife
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Not necessarily a scrub story but an interesting story nonetheless

>playing casual with some friends and a new guy
>new guy wants to proxy in baby jace and gideon despite not owning or having ordered the cards
>basically running jeskai tokens
>we don't really care and let him run it
>decides to go all out on me despite the one guy running swords, am perfectly fine with this
>swords guy ends up winning because jeskai tokens guy shitty threat assessment
>after some EDH games we play another casual game
>run UG control and wipe him out turn 4 with 2 scythe leopards
>proceeds to bitch that I am way too aggressive with my decks

I know I am probably the one that is being salty but nothing pisses me off more people who like to completely destroy one player and fuck with them but its not ok to fuck with them the same way
Got 2 stories about this shithead

>At casual FNM (basically legacyish, you can play whatever you want, up to unhinged or stax if you're a dick)
>Playing my mono blue counter everything deck (without OG Counterspell because I'm stupid and can't bring myself to buy them)
>Opponent, let's call him A on mono green elves
>Starts complaining to the guy next to him about "pussy blue"
>I win game 1 due to copying his Terra Stomper and him sacing his own terra stompers for more cards or some shit (Life's Legacy iirc)
>Game 2 he's still mad as hell, keeps complaining
>He wins easily enough, I can't really handle 1 mana dudes and mana ramp
>round goes to time, we draw
>grumbling and complaining still to his buddy

Best part of that was my brother running turbo fog in the other room destroying his opponent, wrathing away his Awaken the Anciented land and the opponent cming to confirm with our game if his land died. The two of them were shit talking both me an my brohter in front of my face so yeah. Brother won his match though

But it gets better

>month or so later
>I'm playing cruel control (my excuse to play Nicol Bolas, PW
>A is my opponent again, running GW aggro
>Joke's on him, my main is basically preboarded against aggro
>Bolt his dude, doom blade his dude, Toxic Deluge his board, Cruel Ultimatum him out of the game
>He's on tilt, muttering under his breath, saying "fucking great" whenever I kill one of his guys
>Game 2 gets about 5 turns in, I wrath his board
>He scoops and storms off to the owner running the event
>I follow, because I see where this is going
>He walks back, shakes my hand all friendly all of a sudden, "Good game man" etc.
>Go tell the owner I won, he says "But A just said he won 2-0"
>Tell the owner I know, he goes "Ah" and changes it up (i've got life pad to back me up plus the owner is a cool dude)

Fucking shithead.
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>I know I am probably the one that is being salty but nothing pisses me off more people who like to completely destroy one player and fuck with them but its not ok to fuck with them the same way

No this is a fucking hanging offense, you shouldn't be playing anything even remotely aggressive if you can't take people smashing your tits in. I know, it's not fun to be out of the game super early, but if you start fucking with someone while they can't fight back, when they can fight back they're going to try to end your life because they know you have no qualms about ending them.

Somewhat related, I have a couple of friends who are perfectly fine players but sometimes get buttmad when they get killed in the process of going off. We're talking tabling Purphoros with a ton of token generation, building a blue pillowfort to play every card in your deck in one turn, shit like that. If you're BLATANTLY two steps from winning the game, everyone is ABSOLUTELY going to wreck your faggot ass.
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>MFW I make more than $50/hr
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Little backstory, I used to play at a gaming club downtown, before my job got in the way of their EDH nights. I'm admittedly a pretty lousy deck builder compared to most of the people I play against, but I can usually hold my own in big games.

>Play mono-green Omnath EDH
>Literally my only deck because I'm a filthy casual, but it's been around a long time, and I've managed to fine tune quite a bit
>He's got a mono-blue Aftifact/control deck (forget the general)
>beat him
>beat him again
>he complains that the Eldrazi in my deck make it unfair (old Ulamog and Kozi for mil proofing)
>remove them both
>beat him again
>complains that now mana ramping in mono green is somehow unfair
>remove all cards related to mana ramping (cultivate, explore, kodama's reach, etc.)
>still beating him
>beat him for a fourth time
>still says my deck is broken because Omnath is just a cheey general
>says I have too much artifact destruction too, which is also unfun
>agree to play without my general, and artifact destruction on top of all the other shit
>still beat him
>he gets mad and goes home
>feel pretty good about myself
>another player comes over and asks me not pick on other people like that
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It just works, you say...
Maybe you shouldn't pick on other people no you sound like an ok person if your story is true
Shit, I must have fucked up or something typing this, because I only got five games out of him, not six. In all balance, though, I was having some pretty lucky games against him.

Now my biggest nemesis is this sorta-autistic kid who's father built him an Omnath, Locus of Rage deck that really gives me a run for my money. I begrudgingly admit it's a decent deck, but I can still beat him.
>risking a DQ just because you're salty
What, does your store not post standings before preparing the next round's pairings?
Ma life... No one plays with me any more because they lose when they throw a bunch of random black cards together and call it a deck
>turn 4 kill

This happens all the time when I'm playing Pauper Teachings on mtgo. Even if I'm in the tournament practice room I still get messages in the chat that go like
>my god, just have uninteractive and unintuitive is your deck to play against?
>is your deck 70% counterspells?
>have fun with your easy mode deck, God forbid someone tries to play anything other than blue
>T1: Scythe Leopard
>T2: fetchland, leopard hits for 3, play another leopard
>T3: land drop, swing with both leopards for 4, no responses
>T4: Forest, 2x Giant Growth, swell of growth fetchland, crack fetchland swing with both leopards for 14

I know its sounds more aggro but whatever. He couldn't respond because he didnt have any red mana to use for burn spells or to get his tokens out
>all of these people who don't know what a scrub is

Ok, imagine this:
>"I predict that in [game] if I make [move] then [result] will happen! "
>make [move]
>[result] very clearly does not happen

>"Huh ok maybe I was wrong. I'll try again to be sure, try something else, or do the same thing but with more accurate expectations thia time."

>"I was still right, but reality is wrong, or the legal moves you made were cheating or incorrect or bad."
People don't know what "interactive" means, do they?
Man I remmeber when I first went to FNMs it was all delver and zombies for the 'good' players and human soul bond stuff for the others. I didn't know what the fuck anything was I just built my deck to beat my one friend.

To weeks later I returned with a anti meta bant deck and a sideboard full of hate. Torpor orb, yes all your guys suck now., angel of Jubilation, no you can't use birthing pod.

I got to the top 2 and lost because this guy crybabied his way into getting the judge to believe him that he still gained life from his wurm coil when it was blocked by a guy with PROTECTION FROM CREATURES>

Damage is prevented "but but I still... that just means"
"...... yeah yeah he's right"
Fucking stoners.
I was a fucking grindy 3 games to, I had to deal with babybatter skulls and gideon, I hadn't even seen this crap before and I would have got him too if he didn't cheat that 6 life.

And he knew too. He fucking lied and cheated.
>Roommate didn't understand how book burning worked
>Gets salty whenever rules change
>Refuses to play with planeswalkers
>All of those walkers just collecting dust in my binder.
I love how at FNMs half the people would tard rage when you shuffle their decks. Are they cheating or just superstitious? Either way they get the cursed mul to 5 shuffle.

And then there's the people who search a library and tell you to "go ahead I'm just"... and then they get mega mad when you watch them find their shit and super ultra mad when you shuffle their deck.
What are they really gonna try to cheat?
And they get so defensive and say "on blah blah pro tour they do it"
Yeah with a judge over their shoulder, on camera, they fine cracking a fetch and saying go ahead.
At the LGS the judge is a stoned shithead who spend the whole night trying to look down that one autistic girl shirt.
I'm gonna watch you find you fucking forest (or plains) and shuffle you deck.

Fuck I hated that LGS.
>play D&D with some friends
>They always want to play a couple games of magic before we start
>don't really care about magic but have a mediocre artifact deck
>they all spend all their extra money on magic cards
>lose pretty much every game
>eventually get super lucky with draws and win a game
>friend I'm playing against throws a fit because i beat their life's savings
>first time i've won in a couple months of this

glad I found a better group
That fat bastard is one of my favorite casual cards. Every time I'd pull him in sealed I'd beat someone's face in with him. Add Titan's Strength for maximum flavor.
the only response they get is when you tap the aether vial techically they can respond to the put creature into play trigger. But scrubs seem to think they can use that time to nuke the vial and prevent the creature coming in, explaining that its already a trigger on the stack can be tedious.
>playing EDH ever
>playan shitty goblins in (old) standard against some guy and his T1/2 deck
>cast goblin grenade
>guy tries to kill gobbo in response
>lolno buddy
>calls a judge, judge tells him no, gobbo's already gone
>judge leaves
>I then reverberate the 'nade
>guy goes 'wtf, you need to sac another goblin'
>lolno buddy
>calls judge again
>tells rules, about ready to facepalm

I think I still lost the set, since my deck was thrown-together shit, but it was hilarious nonetheless. The guy was pretty butthurt about getting blown up by an unsleeved shitheap.
Repeat after me: "removing the source of an ability on the stack does not remove the ability from the stack".
and if you read what i said the very end clearly explains that having to explain that very fact is tedious. maybe you should read things before going off half cocked?
It was an Infect player who said it. I tried to ignore him. but damn, I was giggling like a little child for the rest of the game.

What? How the hell do you think cards hit $50 in the first place? People NOT specifically buying them for decks they know they will work in?
For me i just dont like people fingerfucking my cards or riffle shuffling my deck. Its probably nothing but i imagine them getting greasy or bending one of the cards or something.

Yeah, I never play in tournaments specifically because I have a problem with people riffle shuffling my cards but it would look extremely suspicious if I wouldn't let them. They could at least ask for a gentler shuffle but ultimately if you decided to enter then you can't really pitch a bitch fit over someone touching your cards, that's part of the package.
No no no, I was agreeing with you.
I don't think you are in any position to say what people do or do not do with their money, Anon. Let alone play Magic.
Because I won't shell out $50 for a piece of cardboard without researching first?
>at the last prerelease my opponent is bitching about how bad his deck is.
>he continues to bitch even as he wins three out three of our games.
>still bitching even after he beat me.
>the store stinks, his attitude stinks.
>the whole experience turned me off from prerelases and FNM.
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