>you will never be a hunky human warrior
>you will never go into battle with your goblin bros
>you will never make their sisters swoon when you return to town
>not being a 20/20 trample double strike
or we could just be pampered first-worlders enjoying the wonders and comfort of the modern age.
In the best world they would look like this. More likely like this >>45313978
Or maybe they are like lizards with next to no sexual dimorphism and look exactly like the men.
It's a tumblr drawing, that's why. Tumblr is really big into the shortstack meme since it "promotes alternative relationships" or some other faggy bullshit. That's why they all swoon over Incase's comic about a halfling housewife cucking her husband.
>you will never be a hunky human warrior
>you will never be hunky
>you will never be remotely attractive
Look, being /fit/ nowadays is something more autistic. Unless you're an athlete or a weight lifter, the only reason you'd have all that muscle would be to look good, and the only reason you put all those hours into it would be for vanity.
>tfw no qt3.14 goblin trap gf
Why even live?
Or to fight depression
Or to push your own limits
Or to build confidence
Or to feel good with your own body
You can do that a lot of other ways. The point really is you shouldn't feel bad if you're not /fit/, because being /fit/ means different things than it would have back in the day where people were physically hitting each other.
when the issue is your body, patching it up in another way won't really solve it and will actually bring further problems as you'd keep ignore the core issue.
Just go ahead and work out, it's not hard.
Well it's not so much how much you eat as much as what you eat, but that's true.
Guy was feeling sad he wasn't a hunky warrior. Being in shape is a lot different than being a hunk.
Okay, maybe you feel bad about your body. But would working out and getting fit really help with interacting with people if you still have trouble with social situations? It might even make you feel less confident because you know people expect more of you now that you look different physically.
>But would working out and getting fit really help with interacting with people if you still have trouble with social situations? I
I found it did back in the good old days when I was fit. easier to talk to people when you feel better about yourself. Also though it might be dickish to say its easier to feel confident when you are bigger and stronger than most of the people in the room.
>needing muscles to be confident or happy
>basing your self-worth on your appearance
>not relying on your skills, knowledge, or relationships with other people
I get basing a little bit of it on appearance, but there's so much more than that.
Fun fact: Exercise in the right scenario, that is repeatedly performed with regularity, can actually result in the release of endorphins which aid in the alleviation of depression, even if only for short periods around the instance of exercise. This is why people can get addicted to it.
I actually used that as a character concept once. Played a barbarian that had been depressed and edgy (he cut ''so he could feel something'' among other things). Working out had made him fit and helped him manage his depression but he was still an edgy cunt. He attributed his rage ability to the ability to draw power from his pain.
I was 60lbs overweight. My feat were killing me, my back hurt, my knees hurt, hell, everything sucked. I lost 40 of it last year, and most of that pain is gone.
Yes. It's worth it to loose the weight, not for depression, not because it will magically turn you handsome, but because all those aches and pains will dissapear. Best. Feeling. Ever.
>Well it's not so much how much you eat as much as what you eat, but that's true.
this is the exact opposite of the truth
you can eat like shit, as long as you're eating at a surplus/deficit.
for example, cookies/cakes or mcdonalds are a great way to get enough calories, and high fat/low carbs is great for cutting.
How effective is Human Growth Hormone as a ''supplement''?
Im thinking of having a hulking hurler type character in a modern campaign and I want to try for semi realism. I feel like HGH would be the fastest method for a fa/tg/uy to achieve hulk mode but Im not too educated on the topic.
I didn't really feel different at all. I felt bored while doing it and the same as always when I returned home. Eventually I figured it was cheaper to just not bother.
Meh, I'm in no great pain.
>Bard who has to get off before bed or else he/she suffers from insomnia
See, going to the gym is one mistake. Why should you pay those cunts when you dont need to? Get some fucking bags of sugar, use those.
Beyond that, sticking with it and doing it to a high level of effectiveness are the important parts. Like, I have honestly noticed major improvements in my mood when I was going hard with exercising and major deterioration when I stop.
It takes roughly 4 weeks to notice a change in yourself like. It can also take a while for the mood boost to occur. But if you push yourself consistently and train dynamically, you can get some good results.
Personally, I like it just for the confidence it affords me. Im not massively built but I know what I can do with what I have and I know I can defend myself well enough. Think about the average D&D barbarian or paladin, do you think they worry about running into Chad the bull from high school?
It isn't for everyone but it can be quite helpful if ya do it right and stick with it. Also, great stress relief as >>45323774 mentioned. Plus, there is something about certain parts of your brain kicking into overdrive when you're occupied with repetitive physical tasks so it can help with creativity. Like, if I hit an impasse while worldbuilding, I start doing minor exercises and mull it over until I have a fairly well fleshed out idea.
Yeah but ya still gotta buy em. I just wrap sugar bags with duct tape, hold em in my hands and do dynamic stuff usually. Lunges, calf raises, that sort of thing.
Im a big fan of step exercises. Ive been wondering about running a character that uses incredible jumps to their advantage in combat, probably they jump over enemies to lance them or something, but 5e doesn't have charging rules to the best of my knowledge and my group is only barely knowledgeable about 5e...
With a running start, you can jump your strength score horizontally, or your strength modifier vertically. When doing high jumps, add 1.5x your height to determine how high your hands can reach.
Say your PC is 6 feet tall with 16 strength
>horizontal jump: 16 feet (3 squares) with running start. 8 feet (1 square) without.
>vertical jump: 3 feet with running start, can reach 12 feet off ground (2 squares). Without running start, 1.5 feet and reach 10.5 feet (2 squares) off ground.
It's useful for movement, but you don't get advantage or anything for jumping at someone before an attack. You do get cool points for it, however.
Hmm. I forget offhand, is jumping an action or a movement?
Im thinking of using jumps to position myself in flanking positions (the argument being that someone attacking from a diagonal upwards while another engages from the front could be considered flanking) but I dunno.
Cool points are always good though. A parkour focused shanker could be fun in the right campaign
Worst part is the only other member of my party thats got mediocre knowledge of other settings ran a warlock focused around the same idea but using teleports in 4e so even if I find a way to pull it off it'll just be like Im ripping off his idea.
>is jumping an action or a movement?
Jumping, like climbing or swimming, is movement, not an action. If my PC tries to jump 10 feet horizontally, he needs to spend 10 feet of movement. Climbing and swimming have different movement costs, but work on the same principle.
For style, you don't even need to go Assassin's Creed on it. I played a strength fighter, and simply jumped when it seemed appropriate or cool. Sometimes my GM would grant advantage or inspiration for things like riding a Gust of Wind into an attack, or describing an overhead swing after ramping off a table.
Yeah, good points.
Im liking the idea of playing an assassins creed style fighter actually. Hopping walls, dashing along rooftops and jumping people to shank them but having the ability to get in a drag out fight if needed.
Pity Id be restricted in scope to some degree. Parkour-stabber doesnt play well in deserts or underwater. Or most non-urban locations
Serves them right, having bad hair in the first place.
>your orc wife will never get jealous and possessive when she sees you working with Goblin women
>"guess you like anything green huh?"
>thick, short girls
>a species that is considered by the majority to be comprised of ugly, vulgar, bumbling nincompoops
>tumblr draws them sexy with pink sidecuts
I think I'm starting to see why this fantasy race resonates with tumblr so much...
Not that I'm complaining, since I actually loved sidecuts (particularly on post-apoc punk girls) long before the hairstyle got attributed to tumblr, and I still do despite their best efforts, and I love sexy monster girls, goblins most definitely included.
Had a barbarian that was interested in the goblin tribes that raided some of the local villages.
He started asking as to why they did so, and even caught a few to question himself
Didn't really expect him to do that but I ran with it. Had the gobs tell him they were part of a broken tribe that fell from the main one after a civil war of dominance. Now the goblin tribes were all scattered about trying to stake some land and food for themselves
I basically brewed him up a sidequest where he established himself as the goblin tribe leader. By endgame he'd reformed all the goblin tribes and was often referred to as Papa Gob, or just Pops by the goblins
>Every so often goblin groups try to get a human to live with them at least for awhile, since they need to thin out the bloodline every few generations and some half-humans in the tribe is a big benefit
>Human whose job description is to live with the goblin group and be treated relatively well, while regularly reproducing with them to bring in a fresh mix of genes and intelligence
Magical realm, but best profession or whatever you want to call it, that I've seen in any of our games.
In my setting, no. The various orcoid species can't grow facial hair, and their jealousy is what causes them to attack humans. Dwarves grow long beards only to mock the orcs an goblins, which is why they're constantly at war, and why chin-scalping (or whatever the right word is) is a mark of status among orcs. The more beards you have claimed, the higher your status. Humans can trade with orcs, but must grow beards first, then shave them at the edge of orc territory and burn the hair, so the orcs can see they reject the mocking ways of the dwarves. Because elves don't grow facial hair, the orcs never fight them, and the two races interact peacefully.
>frontier town on human-orc border
>has a strict no facial hair policy in order to maintain piece with the other side
>all adventurers going through are required to shave or be run out of town
>a dwarf has suffered a terrible smithing accident and almost fell face first into molten metal
>lower half still got horribly burned
>he survived but scar tissue can't regrow the beard
>shunned by his own kind, he had grown hateful enough to turn to their ancestral enemies
>Not wanting chilling out with your gobo friends