If you lived in Ravnica and had a say in the matter, what guild would you join?
Consider that you don't have to be in the same guild as a girl to date her, inter-guilding is allowed and encouraged.
>inter-guilding is allowed and encouraged.
Disgusting! What's next? Cats and dogs living together? Hell freezing over? Jace becoming less of a faggot?
>Consider that you don't have to be in the same guild as a girl to date her, inter-guilding is allowed and encouraged.
Let's get this out of the way early
Simic. I want a submissive and slightly frightened research assistant who realizes she may have just gotten in over her head, but also thinks I'm the future of the guild so she lets me use her as a test subject, or to test things I used myself as a test subject for.
or to breed krasis inside of.
Here you go, friendo. No need to thank me.
dimirfu best fu
>Great sex, but she rips your dick off after tier
not if you rip off hers first.
that's a good list, but i'd put Gruul, Azorius and Orzhov a tier higher and put Dimir into THIS IS NOT A GIRL WHAT THE FUCK tier because dimir are insufferable faggots like that
I can accept it.
This only serves to reinforce my love of Simic.
Well Alara for starters.
Imagine all the unique things going on there as unknown mana types start popping up in places. It literally gives you the chance to be something "new" never before seen on that shard. I liked Theros and Kamigawa.It would be neat to revisit Rabiah.
We could come up with some interesting things but it's generally focused on this one plane.
>Knight land, knight fight edition
>Much forest so stompy wow
>Forest 2: forest harder: dragons up your ass edition
>Autism: the shard (admittedly i DO like esper's surrealistic landscape but holy shit its gonna be boring)
>Dickassia: because we heard you aren't sick of zombies and demons yet
Aside from initial shock value of SHIT IS THIS GREEN MANA alara's as standard as it gets
Being an engineering student, I'm tempted to say Izzet. However, I don't really like the idea of stroking another creature's ego, let alone a dragon's ego, while it bosses me around from across the whole plane.
Azorius: I love redundancy and technicality. Plus I get to help run/be the government.
>Simic girl into tentacle hentai
Do you think if I ask really nicely she'll splice tentacles onto ME and let ME have tentacles? I always wanted tentacles with little penises on the end.
Based on my current job and degenerate lifestyle, I would have to say Rakdos
find out secret to universe
>sell to orzhov
>party with rakdos
develop mystic cocaine habit
>get caught by boros
>judged by azorius
end up in prison
>get into knife fight with gruul
>learn how to make pruno with golgari
get opportunity to join rehab program
>get diagnosed by simic combine
>end up at recovery counseling with selesnya
meet up with izzet again, rinse, repeat
such is life in the city of guilds
the cycle is all, the cycle is life
>>45226659 Dudes just slicking back his hair for his date.
Rakdos isn't as bad as a lot of people might think. Rakdos only tend to rape,murder and party when their guild leader is awake. When he goes back into slumber for a couple of days rakdos cult gets back to politics. So yeah feast fuck, fight and drink. Then back to normal guild stuffs.
Even whan Rakdos is awake, normal clowns and street artists continue doing normal clown and street artist stuff, menual laborers continue doing normal menual laborers stuff, etc. It's only the Rakdos Cultists who feastrapemurder.
>Vaporizing bitches and making electroized frost gyroscopic plasma golems out of palladium
>Date qt Dimir
>Drop the horrific unstable monstrosity on unwitting targets
>The murder weapon disposes of itself
>Blame deaths on Gruul shamans dicking with elemental magic
At least it's not FUCKING dominaria again.
And at least fucking Gerrard is gone.
Ravnica is comparatively fresh, even if it does need to rotate out of MtG and MtG accessories for a little while.
Personally, though, I would hate seeing Kamigawa or Mirrodin again, though (unless we get more gloriously fucked-up New Phyrexia).
I wanna see Segovia, Rabia, Rath, Shandalar, maybe Fiora or Kaladesh or Vryn, even.
Also, Zendikar and the Eldrazi have worn out their welcome so much it's not even funny.
Here's to hoping Shadows over Innistrad is still good even with Eldrazi shittery.
I'd love to join the Izzet. I have the attitude, but I don't have the engineering aptitude.
The Dimir seem like the most likely to have a use for my skills seeing as I'm a student of languages, but they're pretty picky with who they hire. Nevertheless, if they took me in, cool - their careers have nice premiums (potential immortality, all the gold you can steal, networking). The lack of insurance and medical plans that don't default into reanimation as an undead is worrying, but I'd essentially be a contractor, so it kinda comes with the territory.
Barring that, the Orzhov. Must take care not to step on anyone's toes though.
I would be a hunky Gateless human mercenary/manwhore, catering exclusively to qt goblingirls of any guild.
Rakdos covers the artists, cooks, actors and architects of Ravnica.
I think RtR really dropped the ball by forgetting all of the guilds outside the Gruul make some important contribution to Ravnican society.
I feel like somehow my best bets of surviving and keeping my sense of self with me would be with Gruul.
I'm pretty sure Izzet are the architects. Rakdos might like avante garde art on the scale of buildings, but I have my doubts that they'd make said structures able to stand.
Aside from that, take off the rose-colored glasses... Ravnica 1 block didn't do a very good job of showing the Rakdos as anything but a debauched murdercult either. If anything, they got MORE respect in RTR with the heavier carnival vibe at least hinting at their place as entertainers (among other things) in the written lore.
>tfw you'd prefer to live in Tarkir but there are no white people in Tarkir
No need to crossbreed with any of those dirty deviants in order to create all kinds of freakish abominations when I can SCIENCE them into being with my waifu while fucking her on the birthing pods.
sex is fun. science is fun. we both agree. but you don't fucking combine the two. use the results of one for the other, if you want, but screwing in the lab is a Bad Idea.
you can make the most ridiculously rad mizzium-coil spacewarping mana/electricity conversion gun you want. when that shit explodes it'll be amazing
but you don't test it in the lab.
otherwise your lab explodes and becomes unusable and then where are you? out on the streets begging for lab materials while the Firemind laughs at your stupidity
You see, the problem is that we sometimes have to do it in the lab. We aren't allowed to take experiments out of the lab and how else are we supposed to test some of the stuff we're working on?
Not to mention, I know a guy over at the Orzhov who we have an insurance deal with. Even if things go boom or something gets out we're still mostly covered.
>red, the color of passion and drive
>blue, the color of foresight
>not combining to make REDBLUE, the color of picking a goal and not doing things that would ruin that goal while striving for that goal over everything else.
Well, sort of. The Rakdos cultists are [[CRAWLING IN MY SKIN]] rapemurder faggots (literally and metaphorically), but the more ordinary Rakdos guild members are normal people and entertainers. It's just that because WotC needed a bunch of combat cards, they kept the cultists in focus and didn't bother with the ordinary people.
...And Red and Blue are Black's ally colors, yes. Congrats, you just explained how shards work better than MaRo ever could - the philosophies of the enemy colors mixed to center around the third.
In general, Izzet are the architects in the obvious way. The Boros are the architects in the city planning/infrastructure way so they can charge their warmachines down the highway.
The Rakdos are more architects that make pretty buildings that are aesthetically pleasing but serve less than zero function otherwise. Like, every time you see a really fancy building that you wonder "Who built this, and why?" It's probably a rakdos design paid with by orzhov bucks.
>on the birthing pods.
>Not "in" the birthing pods.
>Not combining the birthing pod with HER "birthing pod" and fucking the results to mix your dna with the experiment.
You're clearly not thinking Simic enough.
>Azorius laws are no longer physically impossible to bypass, and they serve as courtroom and mall cops rather than police
>Dimir are officially acknowledged to exist, and work as curators of knowledge (though still do their old stuff in relative secret
>Rakdos cultists are much less common, trading out for more normal entertainers that don't kill their customers unless they're into that
>Gruul work to clear out what wild spaces remain in the city, creating "forest preserves" in the trashed places
>Selesnya are curators for the tamer parks in the middle of the city and act as healers when it's not dramatic enough to call the Simic
>Izzet haven't changed much
>Simic haven't changed much either
>Orzhov actually have loan rates the average person can pay off
>Golgari are a bit more of a known quantity
>Boros act as a police presence where the Azorius did before, keeping things under control
There. That is, assuming Jace tries to keep things reasonable, instead of just fucking off to parts unknown as he seems wont to do with the new Gatewatch bullshittery.
Blue and Red don't make Black though. They have a trait in common with black each, but you can't substitute B with R+U.
Red and Blue is a passion drive to learn where the scientific process is merely a suggestion and they may change the experiment on a whim because they just came up with "But what if we do this?" Sure they take notes at every step so they know when they went off the rails, but the rails were optional in the first place.
>>Azorius and Boros
The Azorius were reasonable officers though. Let them enforce the not extreme laws. The Boros are like SWAT or national guard tier problems. Literally automatic rifle, "they purged a neighborhood to catch one criminal"-tier chaos.
I'm almost positive that's what Selesnya actually does, in addition to being the "cultural stewards" which can be summarized as "They're the ones that set up and decorated your wedding venue." They should also grow fruit/vegetable orchards and shit.
Their loan rates are reasonable for average people. It's the huge-ass business start-ups and other stuff like that that get the Orzhov "own you forever" tier deals.
I know, but that's the point. When you take a trait from R and a trait from U and combine them, you get something that very much resembles a trait from B. B has things that U doesn't have, and B has things that R doesn't have, and B also has things that nothing else has. But the list of things that B shares with either U or R is much longer than the list of things it has to itself.
That doesn't mean BLUERED creates Ambition like it's Black. Or Black's amorality or any other thing like that.
The interpretation in >>45236668 is pretty much entirely wrong because of the focus on a goal, something blue and red inherently aren't concerned with. Black is the only color on the pie that thinks "For the goal." Blue thinks "For the knowledge" or "For the method" while red tends to feel "Because I want to" or "for excitement." Mixing the two doesn't result in them thinking "for the goal." It's best to say that enemy colors are still wildly different from adding their mutual ally and making a wedge.
Again, I'm in full agreement with you. You seem to think that I'm arguing that U+R=B, and that's not what I'm arguing. I'm arguing that this is the philosophy behind shards - things from the enemy colors in the shards that would clash are "mediated" by their ally. Blue's methodical plodding and red's wild rush are mediated by black's focus on the goal, ending up with rushing where able and plodding where needed to get to the goal.
In other words, BLUERED repels itself, but black acts as glue to hold it together. Same for WHITERED and green, and WHITEBLACK and blue, and all the other shards.
>Joining a guild
everyone knows only one faction actually matters
Arguing is just a good way of explaining things, even if we're agreeing. That's one way to do the red way of life!
That and I don't know why I kept thinking you were >>45236668
Now do wedges. I mean true wedges, like white controlling Red and Black.
Only one place with enough style to handle my rock and roll life.
Be low end Azorius flunky, date Gruul convert. We both learn from each other after seeing the merits of our two polar opposite guilds and become better people for it.
This is the only correct answer.
Fuck man, I dunno.
Shards are what happens when two opposing viewpoints are combined with a third that partially agrees with both of them and pulls them together. Wedges are when two agreeing colors take their counterpart to break them to heal stronger - red/black's individuality plus white's loyalty makes a loose aggregate of warriors work together, blue/white's slow methodology plus red's individuality makes their single goal have infinite paths to it, red/green's aggression and wildness plus blue's knowledge makes a warrior respect the world and turn it to their advantage. etc.
To put it another way, two ally colors agree, and the enemy color comes in and shakes them up just enough that when they come back together they're stronger.
So black and red get together and do "Hey, you know what's great? Passion and Ambition! Yeah, and so is freedom and any means necessary." Then White comes along and says "Yeah, now let's take all of that, and make it for the good of everyone, do I make myself clear?" And the result is white focused Mardu where the strong and ruthless rule to focus on the better of the empire?
Keep in mind that white is not always good. It tends to represent order more so than good.
While the 'better of the empire' so to speak is likely to end result, it does not necessarily require the 'good of everyone.' Amusingly enough however, the combination of black's self-centeredness and red's emotional capacity would probably force good more than white's order ever could when they are all combined.
"Good of everyone" Meaning whatever Mardu land says it means of course. Probably should have mentioned that. But yes, a society where you get off work, and do literally whatever you feel like, get a slap on the wrist proportional to whatever you fucked up last night, then go on the march the next day to raid and conquer in the name of luxury goods and trade routes. It's a dream life.
>the life of roaming, murderous scum who serve death and bring nothing
>not the life where you are free to choose your own path to enlightenment while perfecting your body and mind
Stay mad, Mardu pleb.
>Confusing the broken idiotic life of the broken primary Red Mardu with the glorious conquering prowess of a true white focused Mardu Empire.
Those "wrong focus color" wedges almost piss me off more than that khanfall bullshit.
>Return to tarkir
>"Rebellion on Tarkir"
>Zurgo tired of ringing bells for those dragon douches
>leads an insurrection and takes his place as emperor of the new Mardu Empire, earning his new name: Zurgo Dragonsmasher. Now properly focused in white.
>Rest of the original khans, in their various states of being do the do the same, waging a new war against the dragons, bringing the respective missing pieces to their newly formed khannates, as the original timeline reasserts itself in it's most perfect form
>except ojutai, because narset is off being autistic on other planes, eventually gets pressured into loosening up a bit
>Zurgo tells everyone togetherness and teamwork under the Khan, the strongest of them is the best way to defeat Kolaghan, bringing the white back and basically turning the Mardu into fantasy Sith.
>Temur mysticism and Shamanism using Blue is enough to bring down the Atarka dragons, except for Atarka herself. The shamanism instead puts Surrak on level to punch Atarka out.
>Spirit necromancy becomes mainstream among the New Abzan, who ghost those "impenetrable dragons" to death. Lead by the new Great Spirit Anafenza.
>A Flaming rock lands on Ojutai, and Chandra climbs out. Teaching them all about how great red is, using her week of experience as Head Abott
>The Sultai come back when they study the past on how to kill the dragons, and when Silumgar eats Sidisi and chokes on the poison she keeps in chest, under the heart but inbetween the lungs.
>I don't really like the idea of stroking another creature's ego, let alone a dragon's ego, while it bosses me around from across the whole plane.
I always felt like there was enough autonomy that it wouldn't really be an issue. If I remember correctly from the novels, Niv tried to build the cities of Ravnica in such a way that would empower him, but the goblins deliberately fucked it up to show how clever they were. And Niv Mizzet seemingly rewarded them for it.
So, they seem a pretty independent bunch overall.
>sarkhan goes home for a bit, dragon corpses everywhere
>Yooo, what the fuck
>goes to see what the fuck happened, stops by Kolaghan's crib, see's Zurgo chilling there
>S:yo zurgo what the fuck
>Z:who the fuck are you, faggot?
>S:i'm sarkhan vol you dingus, what's this shit, where are all the dragons
>Z: Sarkhan? I'm the only great khan around here dipshit, now get the fuck out
>S transforms into a dragon
>Z: Oh, another dragon, must have missed one
>S: Dragon noises
>Z: Yeah, I've smashed bigger dragons than you bitchboy
>Z gets his smash on
>Temur Shamans try to overthrow Atarka with magic
>Can only figure out how to stop her overwhelming hunger
>Try it anyways, just to see if it depowers her
>Turns out she was only such a bitch because she was so hungry all the time
>She chills out and goes full Temur herself
I've always loved Nemesis of Reason, the art and flavor text are just so great. He's so eager to get to you and start raw dogging your brain that he's tearing himself up on the jagged rocks.
Option A is the Khans rebecome the khans.
Option B is that the B team characters of the lore, like Zhaida
since Tagam's going to fucking die, Xathi the Infallible, Arel, Unseen Whisperer, and Baihir Marza becoming the new khans. Even then, there's no replacement for Zurgo since vialsmasher is a goblin. No alternatives there.
Actually, a cephalopod's tentacles act as penises for all intents and purposes. Having tentacles would be like having large, ejaculating penises all over your body that are also chemo-receptors. You would taste and feel it while fucking.
The story about that image is actually really sad. An old entertainer, one of the few who truly
understand what is at stake if Rakdos is not pleased, finishes teaching his apprentice his tricks,
so for his last show he does an incredible trick that turns out to be him literally bursting with confetti,
that makes Rakdos laugh so hard the venue shakes, and causes imitation performances to last for
Knowing next to nothing about Ravnica (Last set I played was Japan: The Weebening), I have to say, I really like what I see from Azorius. Bureaucratic Good is what I play in most games, anyways.
I just thought it was funny ad the guy that got >>45246799 I agree that white is pretty great at times too, especially where angels are concerned. Though vampires are great too.
Which do you think is more likely to happen sometime soon, a mardu colored angel, or a mardu colored vampire?
Neither are happening on Tarkir, Tarkir has no angels and Sorin made sure to kill his one vampire spawn that could have infected half the plane.
I love how your comment is basically:
>Angels or Vampires?
Currently, WB vampires all over the place right now, RB vampires coming up in Innistrad. Humans focused in W so vampires might need to splash W for good food. A Mardu-colored vampire wouldn't be too surprising right here.
But with things going crazy on Innistrad again, I could see some angel getting warped by vampire magic into a WRB Shepard of the vampire's "flock"
I would join Golgari because zombies and scavenging and I love swamps
Plus I could learn the most fun spell ever