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>Okay, bro, I know your campaign is about...
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You are currently reading a thread in /tg/ - Traditional Games

Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 17
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>Okay, bro, I know your campaign is about realistic and gritty court politics, so here's my character
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>>45095968
I see you rolled a crusader who fought in the war against the heretic pizza people.
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>>45096009
Fucking Saucies got what was coming to them.
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>>45096040
CHEESIES GET OUT REEEE
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>>45095968
>flamboyant courtier that is unlikely to ever see real combat walks around in extravagant outfit with absurd, impractical weapon
You're taking the eccentric noble nobody would suspect of being manipulative bastard? Great idea bro! Welcome aboard.
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>>45095968
>>45096176
>first session
>medieval throne room
>weeb character: "Ahoy there sire, lol me hearties derp derp derp! XD"
>King: "You look and sound like a cunt. Get the fuck out. Guards!"
>weeb player: "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but muh agency! Muh animu inspiration!"
>DM: Realistic consequences, kiddo. Deal with it.

And nothing of value was lost.
>>
>>45096374

>King throwing courtiers out for arbitrary reasons
>realistic
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>>45096176
>Okay, guess I'll go next then. I hope I didn't go over the top with the backstory
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>>45095968
I see your char and raise it with pic related.
Gonna play him in the next gritty court politic game I play.
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>>45096451
Never heard of arbitrary, tyrannical rulers?

Well, my last CK2 king was like that, so... suck on that!
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>>45096009
Those fucking italians
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>>45095968
>tfw everyone sees him as the local autist, like we see furries or people walking around in anime cosplays
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>>45096457

Ditch the gun for a bow and you can be king's huntmaster.

Alright, yes, you can have exploding arrows but only if you can justify you having the recipe.
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>>45096374
>>first session
>>medieval throne room
>>weeb character: "Ahoy there sire, lol me hearties derp derp derp! XD"
>>King: "Oh, you're coming with a jester. That's nice."
>>
>>45095968
Looks about right. Have you seen the sorts of outfits they wore in medieval Courts, and the kinds of weapons people who will probably never see combat carry?
>>
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A HOLY ANGEL HAS COME TO BLESS YOUR CRUSADE
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>>45096464
He's good as long as there's somebody else in the party to steer him in the general direction where the hurt needs to be applied for optimum effect.

Another possibility would be pic related. Smooth enough to get things done by talking but with a taste for some deviant fun.
>>
>funnelshoes to collect rainwater on the fly
>pizza-satchel in case we get hungry
>elbow-plates so we don't have to pack dishware
>clover pin grants +2 to Lck

10/10 would engage in politics with
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>>45095968

Ah. He's playing a Landsknecht.

Good job on the outfit, the design really pulls through the historical inspiration. Even the sword is outlandish and ornate.

Try to be careful in the court; On one hand, people think you look ridiculous; On the other, any soldier or noble from the Marches will know you're a dangerous man; You guys have a reputation for excess and aggression.

Your reputation starts at 1; No one knows you in the court, but those who know what you are respect your service and those that don't certainly are intrigued by the jester with the sword.
>>
>>45095968
>People don't talk with their DM during character creation
Why
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>>45096728
Righto, outlandish outfits weren't out of the norm.
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>>45096728
>Why the hell is he dressed like some faeric rainbow fuck?
>Because he's dangerous enough to get away with it.
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>>45096374
>weeb character: "Ahoy there sire, lol me hearties derp derp derp! XD"
Anon, you got Asians confused with pirates again.

We've been over this a thousand times. Do I need to pull out the comparison charts again?
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>Holy Landsknecht Pizza Crusades
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>>45096766

Cold, hard autism or just a plain old overblown sense of entitlement. Happens most often in online games.

Fortunately it seems to just be a case of people not really thinking, rather than a method they are committed to. Every time I've come across this shit and said "hey, we should design our characters together so the party makes sense" I get replies like "oh yeah good idea" and "don't know why we didn't do that before lol".
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>>45095968
>gee they sure will get mad at my imaginary situation!
1/10, here's your (you)
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>>45097072
>actually is mad
>tries to hide behind cool kid memes

Top dollar, champ.
>>
>>45097072
Did you not realize the OP was presenting a joke, to be joked about and with? Did your sense of humor and comedy get dragged into an alley and smothered?
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>>45097323
More disappointed that OP thougt "yeah. Something good will come out of this thread."

>>45097352
This is sort of joke that makes "hahaha le bazinga xD" look like sophisticated pinnacle of humor.
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>>45097538
We got to talk about pizza wars. God man, do you have any concept of fun left? Bullshitting around? Being a good? Do you realize threads like these help encourage a culture of some levity and relaxation on a board that is murderously tense and hostile to itself to the point of self-destruction, and has been for long enough to throttle of it anything but Warhammer, Quest threads, and D&D bitching? It's games for fuck's sake, there IS no sophisticated humor.

Besides, take a look at this and tell me that it isn't a magic item that gives you a +6 bonus to social skill rolls to incite wrath.
>>
>>45096485
>Never heard of arbitrary, tyrannical rulers?
The paladin is now compelled to put his head on a pike and install a ruler who doesn't imprison people for horrible fashion sense. Good job, dimwit.
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>>45096098
>>45096040

BOW BEFORE YOUR GLORIOUS PEPPERONI OVERLORDS
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>>45099686
SLAY THEM ALL! FOR CRUSTONIA!
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>>45099685

Actually if you turned up to a royal court dressed like a giant fuckwit, even if it was in a country where the monarch wasn't all-powerful and had a viable parliament like Elizabethan England, you could still be tossed out on your arse. King's house, king's rules. If you were dressed inappropriately you probably wouldn't even be allowed into the throne room in the first place. Medieval and Renaissance Europe even had a lot of sumptuary laws too.
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>>45098343
I like pineapple pizza.
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>>45100087

With ham, I hope. Otherwise that's just retarded and obnoxious. Morally wrong, even.
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>>45100087
DEUS VULT YOU PIECE OF SHI- actually I can't, I never got the pineapple pizza thing. I lived in Hawaii. Had genuine actual Hawaiian pizza. With fresh ass BBQ pork and fresh from the tree pineapple. It was good. Didn't get the big deal.

This is my heresy. This is my Sophic pledge. This is my belief.

All Pizza Is Good Pizza.

Well except that bullshit California gluten free low sodium organic pretend pizza
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>>45097072
Look at this idiot. Look at him and laugh.
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>>45100087
>>
>>45096009
>the cutter sword
>the pizza in satchel
Fuck I cant unsee
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>>45096528
Better answer.
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>>45096899
Do not invite a pirate into your home, or it may visit you in the night in the form of a bat or a fine mist.
>>
Did someone say Pizza?
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>>45095968
Fuck me, is it terrible or irredeemable that I like swords with a crescent or circular tip?

Yes. yes, cock joke. We know.
>>
>>45096831
>>45095968
This, to be honest, it would be better to mock the belt and zipper designs for this.
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>>45096009
>>45096040
>>45096098
>>45099686
>>45099754
People, people... we can all agree that the Anchovies are nothing but despicable degenerates.
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>>45095968
I never noticed he's wearing highheel boots
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>>45102587
Do you mean to tell me the vile anchovy cult still exists? I thought their kind were slaughtered down to the last man, woman and child by the holy pizza inquisitors.
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I will fight and die for chicken spinach pizza, with mushrooms.
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>>45103322
>everything about that sentence
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>>45103040
They live, along with other abominations in the eastern lands...
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>>45095968
Ah, the jester. Well played.
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>>45096374
The king talks like gutter trash. This will lower the other nobles' opinions of him.
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>>45096766
I'm trying to put together a group and my players are almost actively avoiding talking to me about their characters. I have a witch, a monk, and a ranger. The witch wants to heal people, the other two haven't done anything else that I am aware of.
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>>45100087
I hate pineapple, in any form.
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>>45100174
…even CHEESELESS Pizza?!

You HERETIC!
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>>45105188
Cheeseless pizza is an oxymoron, at that point it's tomato sauce on a crust. It's one step away from just bread, and two steps away from nothing.

Now a question for the Pizza Inquisition: Which one is holy and which one is heretical, square crust or round crust?
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>>45095968
But the GM forced that outfit on the player, and he never wields that weapon.
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>>45100174
>fresh from the tree pineapple
Wait what?
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>>45105268
Neither should be holy, spreading the dough too thin and making holes in the crust is punishable by death.
The least heretical is round, but with square pizza, the heresy is measured by the squareness of the pizza alongside the deepness of the dish.
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>>45100174
>pineapple
>tree
I'm pretty sure they don't grow on trees.
>>
>>45096374
>>45096451
>throwing courtiers out

>>45099685
>imprisoning people

Reading comprehension?
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>>45103450
Surely you don't mean....
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>>45096009
>rolling
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>>45095968
>knowing people who use the word "bro" in real life
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>>45107430
Indeed. There are yet those who top their pizzas with...

... corn.
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>>45103040
The cult shall rise once more
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>>45107655
Ia, ia! Engraulis fthagn!
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>>45105422
>>45105521

Wait what the fuck!?!?!

Pineapples grow on trees.. I always thought and google refuses to confirm....

Fuck.
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>>45107690
"Contrary to what some people think, pineapples don't grow on trees — they grow out of the ground, from a leafy plant.

"The plant consists of stocky leaves whorled around a central stem. In a healthy pineapple plant, the tapered, swordlike leaves can grow up to about 5 feet (1.5 meters) long.

"The pineapple fruit grows out of the top of the central stem. The fruit is actually the result of dozens of individual fruit-producing flowers that have fused into a single fruit, which is capped with a "crown" sporting numerous short leaves."

http://www.livescience.com/44499-how-do-pineapples-grow.html
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>>45107705
Sad, I thought people could be killed by falling pineapples, ala coconuts

Wasn't that the inspiration for fruit ninja?
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>>45107690
Anon, the point of Pineapple is that it has nothing is common with pines or apples. As such it can§t possibly grow on trees.
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>>45107723
I don't know.

But surely people being killed by falling pineapples -when pineapples don't fall from trees- only proves the existence of such a ninja.
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>>45107723
No, fruit ninja is inspired on the wars of the pizza and the pineapple.
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>>45097538
I auctualy like the big bang theory
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>>45099956
>King's house, king's rules
Seems fair I guess
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>>45103040
Don't worry the last person to mess with such vile ingredients got what was coming to him
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>>45108862
I did too until I noticed how much laugh travk there was
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While I understand how the thread got derailed, I am surprised that still no one posted trump.
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>>45109350
Trump is way too overpowered to be a legit PC.
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>>45109532
Guy has some surprising amount of charisma given how he can say basically anything and people will still cheer him. Motherfucker is like Randy Orton.
>>
>>45109350
Guy probably thrives on the attention+dosh he gets by being controversial, to the point that I'm starting to suspect he's deliberately drawing attention away from other things.

Go figure.
Thread replies: 82
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