Self explanatory really.

MAYBE YOU CAN HIRE

THE A TEAM

>>45044785
Opened the thread to say that >>45044837

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Doctor Who - The Doctor and whatever companion he's got with him are an obvious choice, but ancillary characters have a habit of dying, so I'm not sure it's the best choice.

Justice League - Between Superman and Batman, I'm pretty sure they can handle it.

But the only true choice is A TEAM UP OF JOHN CENA AND ROMAN REIGNS.

WANPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

>>45044785
Anyshow where the main character's god/some other omnipotent being.

>>45044897
>implying Baldy cares

>>45044945
He'd care if you asked. He might think it's a pain, but if you were in danger he'd at least tell genos to do it.

>>45044785
I call Brock Samson

>>45045072

Genos would spend two episodes failing at it, but yeah baldy would eventually help.

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I only need one

>>45045072
Have you ever even seen an episode of that shit? The both of them consistently destroy vast amounts of shit. Even if they manage to save you, they probably leave you in a crater.

Batman: Brave and the Bold. Suddenly anyone who kidnapped me is a pseudo 50-60's theme villain. So long as it isn't something like the Dread Dr Stabs-Your-Balls I'll be pretty good for a while.

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Good luck to everyone else, I know I'm going to be fine.

Archer. He'll probably fuck it up and get me killed, but it would be worth it to meet him.

>>45045152
I always wondered what kind of drugs they were on when they made this show.

>>45045176
Enough that they made seven other shows on top of Thunderbirds.

Four Feather Falls (1960)
Supercar (1961)
Fireball XL5 (1962)
Stingray (1964)
Thunderbirds (1965)
Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons (1967)
Joe 90 (1968)
The Secret Service (1969)

>Not the entire 24 team
Fucking Bauer will tear his way through 30 Albanians for lesser reasons than a hostage.

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>>45045194
>Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons (1967)
Definitely my favorite.
https://youtu.be/-2_ApL9OZKs

>>45044785
Sterling Archer.

Or

Elijah Michelson.

>>45044785
My first thought was the Animorphs, but that has a tendency to go horribly wrong.

I'll pick the cast of Trigun.

Walker Texas Ranger.

I win.

MR.MESEEKS LOOK AT ME!

>>45044785
Faceless NTRmen. Not only are they completely invincible, but they will also make whoever kidnapped me totally miserable, thus ensuring revenge as well as rescue.

>>45045308
>who's this elijahfag?

>>45044785
Only TV?
Noragami. Who wouldn't call upon a god if they could

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>>45045117
Your choice is illogical.

>>45045542
>Implying that data doesn´t outlogic a vulcan, not to mention a half-vulcan.
The only thing spock has going for him is wisdom, and he only discovered that in 2 episodes of TNG and the god aweful abrams movies.

>>45045382
Came to post this.

>>45045628
Spock could reason his way out of a chinese finger puzzle. He can also say contractions. And straight-up kill motherfuckers if he needs to.

Plus, what's Data gonna do if he captures one of your kidnappers? Politely ask him where his cohorts took you? Spock can mind meld the motherfucker.

>>45045230
Man i loved that show, pity most the stuff in the ending never happens.

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They're the namesake for the "Big Damn Heroes" trope, after all.

MacGyver. This guy's specialty was rescuing kidnapped people.

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Because damn it, I want an archaeologist on the team that rescues me.

>>45044785
Goku probably. Id say Superman but Supes has a tendency to wreck the local environment, which is where I would be, while Goku leads his enemies somewhere uninhabited at least.

Alternately, any one of the various Kamen Riders. They will bring the kidnapper to Justice.

>>45045743
>I want an archaeologist on the team that rescues me.
>posts team with alien historian instead of archaeologist

>>45045628
>>45045542

I call... FUCKING CREW OF FIRST ENTERPRISE. I mean, main characters. If I can only one, then it would be Picard.

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>>45045790
But anon, that's the best time in the series to be saved by the archaeologist.

>>45045743
Anon, I don't see any archaeologists.

I do see filthy mutant xenos scum, though.

>>45045894
He's not a xeno, he's just from another planet. Stargate mostly avoided having all the aliens just happen to look human, by cheating, but still he's human.

>>45045909
>forgetting when his DNA got scanned and the person scanning it said his planet had mutated to be quite different to regular humans

He's a mutant and a xeno.

>>45045915
Aren't they like an accepted thing in universe?

He's more like an Abhuman. Below humanity but worthy of serving it.

>>45044837
holy shit, I was going to post this

>>45044785
Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I will die a horrible death, but it will be a great fucking episode

>>45045915
I didn't say he wasn't a mutant, but he's still not as different as an Ogryn, and it's not like he's a Jaffa. Though the Jaffa are still human, just genetically modified by xenos. Which really means the Jaffa should be purged.

You've been kidnapped

your current party is going to rescue you

what happens?

Time to call on Mike westen.

>>45045955
I get traumatised by watching someone summoning the rotting corpse of one long dead to fight off the fuckers that kidnapped me.

On the plus side, I'll get a really tasty meal off the druid.

>>45045955
Nothing, unless I manage to start up a game with my kidnappers.

>>45044785
Walker: Texas Ranger. He always gets his man.

>>45045982
I said that your current party is going to rescue you

you are guaranteed that they are motivated enough

>>45045955
Is my own character included? If so i might live. If not, at best i have a bear and a small man with an axe rescuing me with no plan and rushing in the front door.

>>45045955
Everyone flakes.

>>45045955
they kill all the monsters in the way and manage a pacific solution with the kidnappers, perhaps getting very friendly with them and getting them to join their party

>>45045990
I think the point was the poor fucker has no group.

>>45045990
Then nothing happens, because my scheduled is so inconsistent that I can't keep with a group.

>>45046003
>>45046006
that's sad

>>45046013
YOU'RE sad

>>45046000
please elaborate

>>45045995
of course he is included

>>45045971
what about the rest of the party?

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>>45046021
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-0G_FI61a8

>>45046026
>please elaborate
They play for a session then decide to stop existing.

>>45046034
T. Hanks

>>45046026
The rest of the party is a midget alcoholic with a maul long enough to crush a giants balls and a Paladin obsessed with being the shield of the innocent so chances are at least 1 wall is gonna be taken down and Im gonna be pretty safe.

So I'll get some trauma, a sweet meal and I get to have an awesome story with minor injury to myself, unless you decide to count mental scarring. So I guess Id break even?

>>45045687
Data can also straight up kill people.

That episode when he was kidnapped by that collector person. O'Brian commented that the weapon Data was holding was in a state of discharge when he was beamed up.

>>45045955
Depending if the spaceship crew is really angry, they'll go in shooting up any starships they encounter, board the station with powerarmor, and have a climatic battle where they limit themselves to stunner weapons once they're sure they're close enough to me that they can't use the good stuff.

If they're thinking, they'll just use their obscene wealth to bribe their way in and break me out in a sedate and low-key way.

Deep Space Nine. Ben Motherfucking Sisko gets shit done.

>>45045955
Everyone gets charmed and/or dominated. Including me. The party walks in, grabs me, walks out, then bickers for a couple hours over what to do with me.

Rick and morty.

>>45044897
I know that I'm on a semi-weeb board in a weeb website, but if I see this particular answer to this particular question again I'm going to WANPANCHI someone's face in.

>>45045308
>Sterling Archer.
All non main characters bite the fucking dust one way or another

>>45045955
Half of them want to get it over with and/or get whatever profit they can wring from me, the TWO Paladins (one of which is my character) spend the journey glaring at me, and the token nice guy and team leader is 16 years old and suffers from random visions.
...I'll live, probably.

>>45046311
Batman. Bet you thought it was gonna be WANPAN[

McGuyver.

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>>45046351
Sounds edgy.

>>45044785
I'd call on the characters from some kiddy show since nothing bad ever happens in their plotline

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>>45044785
I Call The Ball Fondlers!

>>45046395
What about Steven Universe?

>>45045072
>implying Mumen Rider isn't the main character.

>>45046376
That's what happens when you run with Rogues,assorted scoundrels, a psycho Monk and a goofy Oracle.

>>45044785
>ctrl+f MacGyver
>1 result
I hope no one saves me, because if this is the world I return to, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

>>45046595
You're forgetting the people that misspelled it as Mcgyver.

Picard's gang would be sweet and with all the space-time fuckery in their setting it would even make sense.

If I wanted to be an ass though, I'd call on Game of Thrones, just after getting enough pills to off myself should the need arise. Imagine the cruelty of GRRM set loose upon this world.

>>45046919
It already has been on a level GRRM hasn't touched.

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>>45044785
I guess what I'm saying is I'd just call the police.

>>45044785
Family Guy or Simpsons or some other animated comedy series, they can explode into bits but still be fine 5 seconds after that or pull weapons out of thin air etc.

>>45045359

>trigun
Mah nigga. Vash does have a pretty solid track record for rescues

>>45045955
I get rescued, but also extorted for everything I have. If I get too uppity about my rescuers robbing me blind there's a change I may get thrown out the balistraria.

Hogans Heroes. That way everyone who comes after me can escape too.

>>45044785
Leverage.
I'm pretty sure they never lost.

>>45044837

Opened the thread to say this, too.

/thread

>>45047148

Well, Team Bartowski is acceptable too. Not quite as competent, much easier on the eyes.

>>45045126
Well I guess it fucking teaches people not to kidnap me doesn't it.

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>>45044785
Everything is going to blow up, people on both sides are going to die, and I'll probably suffer through something horribly traumatic. At the end of it all, though, the odds of me being freed are fairly decent.

z nation

>>45045947

The Gang Kills Anon

>>45044785
Justice League Unlimited. If they can't save me I'm insanely fucked.

serious answer: Firefly
fun answer: Archer
lewd answer: Queen's Blade

>>45045308
>Sterling Archer
Good luck surviving the rescue attempt.

>>45045955
I die in captivity. My PCs are fucking mongoloid failures.

>>45045955
Everything in a thousand meter radius dies horribly. I probably lose like 3, maybe 4 limbs, and then they ask me to pay their exorbitant fee and throw me into a volcano when I fail to do so.

>>45049465
I remember Archer actually being pretty competent in early seasons.

>>45049527
He is super competent at surviving, not so much at succeeding.

>>45049527
Archer is always pretty competent when he does things. Just really bad at completely the actual objectives of his missions/plans.

>>45044837
Now, for some reason, I want to run the A-Team in Shadowrun. How would you go about this?

>>45044785
Are facebook memes somehow /tg/ material now?

>>45045230
Always thought it was weird that the theme tune goes on and on about how awesome Captain Scarlet is, yet the opening is just scene after scene of him getting the shit kicked out of him.

>>45044885
>Doctor Who
>Justice League
>Cena
reddit is that way

>>45045525
The only choice

>>45045955
In one my paladin would protect me with his life, in the other my vivisectionist would probably torture me to death while the others aren't looking. Yay?

>>45045955
They break in, form a convoluted plan, get the kidnappers drunk, get drunk, forget about the rest of their plan, get more drunk, forget about me, get drunk further, run out of booze and wreck the place.

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

>>45049632
B.A. is a big black troll with a shitload of points in unarmed combat, and ground vehicles for the tricked out GMC bulldog he drives.


Face is obviously an elf with a shitload of points in diplomacy.

Hannibal is a human with extra points in leadership and perception.

Murdoch is a rigger/crafter with a bunch of idiosyncratic negative character attributes.

Burn Notice, my man.

Not only will I get rescued, but odds are half of my kidnappers will be tricked into killing the other half, and I wind up with all their money.

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>>45046269
don't gorget O'Brien, he may not be a soldier but he is an engineer

The All Guardsman Party.

>>45046288
Good luck surviving 'till the end of the episode.

>>45050393
Woah, sorry he doesn't subscribe to your approved media list.

>>45052473
>don't gorget O'Brien
why? everyone else does

>>45044785
Lucy Heartfelia

>>45047106
Came here to post this.

Although I feel like they get outplayed by like, rivals a few times, but I think they always get the mark at least.

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>>45045955
>I get to be rescued by my wizard waifu

>>45044785
I think i'm going to call on section 9 from Ghost in the Shell. I might even get to ride in a tachikoma.

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>>45049527

Throughout the entire series Archer is immensely competent at keeping himself and Lana alive.

But he's a complete danger to anyone else in the same fucking building as him, or have you forgotten Bret?

If Archer's coming to rescue you your odds are 50/50 at best.

>>45047037
family guy maybe but the simpsons is really good about not bringing back dead characters

make it a treehouse of horror episode maybe.

>>45050393
fagot

>>45052473
He's not a soldier, but he's served in more combat missions than anyone else on DS9.

>>45050099
Well that's kind of the whole point. You can kick his shit in again and again and he'll just keep coming. He's like the fucking Terminator. Except better, because you can crush him in a machine press and he'll STILL keep coming.

>>45047656
you realise that half the characters in that pic were dead by the end of the show, right?

Not that I fault you on your choice. Whether you got out alive or not, you'd have an insane amount of fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EMO14pRRRk

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not only will I be safe, but my captors will also die in fire

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>>45044785

The show I choose is The Apprentice, because I have more faith in the American President to rescue me than someone fictional.

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>>45044885

We really have been invaded by gay robots, haven't we?

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>>45046311

HEE RO

FO REAL

>>45061481

/thread

>>45049632
Everyone takes the pacifist trait (It's been a while since I last played, I can't remember what the trait equivalent was named)
Only put one point into your weapons of choice and only ever use them to suppress.
Max out mechanics and chemistry and jury rig tanks everywhere you go.

>>45061481

Absolutely obliterated. In b4 a Berniefag mod shuts down the thread.

>>45045176
They were on
THE FUTURE AND INDOMITABLE PROGRESS OF MAN

>>45045954

That's assuming he wouldn't be snapped up as an easy resource by the =][=. A xeno-touched human who not only knows the insides and outs of the Xeno empire, their technologies, and their power structures, but also wants to see these aliens exterminated for the liberation of his people?

Goddamn, you couldn't have landed a better resource; a Big Bad's turncoat lieutenant with a chip on his shoulder ready to mount up with the first guys who are willing to give fighting a go. Really, leave it to AdMech to devise a means of reversing the Jaffa whatevers or purge them at their leisure. Also a welcome edition to any Inquisitorial team, combat-hardened muscle with purity of cause and spirit versed in the enemy's lore and technology.

>>45045561
I think you may have picked the choice that is most likely to get you fucking killed.

>>45046460
>forgetting about Frybo