I play a forest /tg/ your move

Swamp, Dark Rit, Dark Rit, Dark Rit, Leveler, Tormod's Crypt, activate crypt, cast kaervek's spite in response.

>>45044106
How the fuck do you manage to get 3 dark rits in the same opening hand?

>>45044106
i dont get it... what does this do? i know all those cards... am i missing something?

>>45044106
Uhhh, OP's turn 2 he doesn't play anything, passes and then wins the game. And that's how /tg/ wins at Magic!

>>45044514
It wins you the game, duh.

>>45044067
Draw.
Island, Mana Crypt, Lotus Petal, Jace the Mind Sculptor.
Zero.
Pass.

>>45044106
That's 8 mana total.

>>45044514
Casting that stuff in that order makes you unkillable. Seriously, don't even look into it. Just make a deck around the idea.

>>45044546
Shit, I was so overwhelemed by the pointlessness of that turn I didn't even notice that, haha.

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I play a plains and tap my forest for elvish mystic

>>45044067
LED
Bazaar of bahdad.
Allah akbar.

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>>45044106

I floop the pig.

>>45044514
It's the turn 1 scoop, you end the game with no hand, library, permanents or graveyard. Although if we are going second and drawing a card it kind of screws it up. Assume we mulled to 6 in this case for the combo to work.

>>45044771
>>45044535
>>45044106
>>45044562
Are you fucking retarded? Seriously you must be. You will end the turn with nothing on the fucking board and have no library.

Jesus christ.

>>45044882
I liked that episode too

>>45044915
>Can't win the game with no cards in hand, in play, or in the library on turn 2
Get a load of this fucking scrub.

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>>45044915
>Implying that isn't the best possible situation to be in

>>45044904
Assuming we mull to 6 we're still a Dark Ritual short.

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>>45044915

I play a Forest and a Lotus Petal. I tap the forest for a Concordant Crossroads. I sacrifice the Lotus Petal for G and cast Llanowar Elves. Tap the Elves to search my library for a Forest and add it to my mana pool. End turn.

>>45045269
I call the judge and have you disqualified for rules violations.

>>45044067
I move way away out of smell distance. You mtg players have a violent offensive odour about yourselves.

>>45045283
The judge you called is busy dealing with another issue so I call a second judge and get you disqualified for delaying the game. My judge was called second so their decision resolves first.

>>45044106
One of the Dark Rituals would have to be a Black Lotus. You are one mana short. Or go second and draw a Lotus Petal

>>45045305
In response to you calling a second judge, I call the Head Judge, who has Split Second, and note to him your criminal record of multiple felonies, thus revoking your standing in the DCI and banning you from MTGO along with disqualifying you from the tournament.

>>45045333
As a fast effect, I use Lightning Bolt on you

>>45045417
I call all the judges and demand they drink bleach

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>>45044915
I wish people like you would be exterminated

>>45046237
Little did you know I replaced all the judges with judge bots that run on bleach.

>>45046377
Little did you know I am actually the bleach Lord and I instantly turn the bleach bot judges into pure bleach

>>45044915
It's to lull your opponent into a false sense of security.

If you don't know how you're going to win, how can your opponent plan against you?

>>45044067
Draw, Mountain, Black Lotus, Sac the Lotus for three green, cast channel paying 19 life. Having 20G floating in my mana pool. Tap my Mountain and cast Banefire for 20. 3 Cards in hand, response?

>>45044915
I'd post the "joke flying over your head" pic, but, sadly, 4chan does not allow to post files that tall.

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I play a wastes!

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>>45044067
I summon Blue-Eyes White Dragon in attack mode.

>>45046391
This is getting silly

>>45046581
Ur mom is getting silly

>>45044106
This guy knows whats up

I rest my ruler for a magic stone.

>>45044545

lightning bolt on jace.

Quite an expensive brainstorm u did there

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>>4504644
Not much but let me try to help.

I play Kevin as my Blue Entry.

I'll then flip, to take control of the BEWD.

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Whatever you just did, you didn't

>>45046391
I call another judge over to see if that is possible

>>45044106
No, lotus petal, 2x dark ritual, undercity informer, no lands, one with nothing, trovald's crypt yourself. I have no hand, no field, no graveyard, your turn.

>>45046580
You can't do that on turn 1.

>>45051797
Well actually, charge of the light brigade, mill eclipse wyvern, darkflare, and something else, add ryko to my hand, banish blue eyes as a result of eclipse wyvern, then banish darkflare and wyvern to special summon lightpulsar dragon, add blue eyes to my hand as a result of wyvern, banish lightpulsar to summon red eyes darkness metal dragon, use his effect to summon blue eyes

I'm sure red eyes is banned now but god I miss my chaos dragon deck

>>45051919
why not just Lord of D, double Flute of Summoning Dragons, 3 Blue Eyes?

Island, high tide, high tide, high tide, laboratory maniac, paradigm shift, visions of beyond. Win

>>45052208
Because Lord of d doesn't splash solidarity

And it's also harder to keep lord of d on the field to use his effect than to keep a 2800 beater on the field who can literally summon anything in the deck

Cyberstien, blues ultimate dragon

>>45051919
Red-eyes DMD is limited, but not banned.

>>45052210
But don't you need to already have your island tapped for high tide? So it would only work on turn two wouldn't it?

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I play EXODIA

>>45052383
You just activated all 5 of the trap cards I had in my S/T zone.

>>45052396
Ther are no trap cards that stop exodia.

>>45052210
That's a terrible idea and cannot be pulled off in even turn three.

>>45052415
There's always one autist.

>>45052821
Better than being retarded in my opinion.

>>45052469
Sorry im in the middle of having a argument with our hr department about some of are employees. Sorry for the crap post

>>45053142
Some female employees are sending hurtful inter office emails to another female employee about her love of harry potter and that she's using her paid vacation to see the new play

>>45053414
We don't care.

>>45053507
Serum Powder

>>45044109

Wait, what? 2/2 for 1 mana? Wtf heartstone?

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>>45052383
Ravesting the florest into plains
Tapping the Plays
Countering /sp autism

It's not an actual card it's a token. It has a mana cost incase it's bounced.

>>45054004
Was this meant to be a reply or did you accidentally post in the wrong thread?

>>45053819
That guy's actually a token that's put into play by another card. The only reason he has a mana cost is because tokens can actually get sent back to the hand in Hearthstone, and are usually leniently costed compared to cards of similar strength.

Most 1-drops in that game are generally 1/2s or 2/1s with upsides, for comparison.

>>45053974
Now that Eldrazi are a thing that bring back things from exile regularly why is this card not a thing yet?

>>45044771
Am i missing something but im calculating 7 mana after building up your pool.

>>45056554

He Exiled every card in his deck on turn 1

>>45056664
You misinterpreted. The point was he doesn't have enough mana to cast both Leveler and Kaervek's Spite.
Replace a darkrit with Black Lotus and you do.

>>45056717

Oh gotcha

>>45056717
>implying people just have 4 fucking black lotuses just lying around to throw in a deck

i tap dat ass
and scry poo

>>45044106
Spite resolves, I take 5.
Untap, Upkeep, Go to Draw.
Play an Underground Sea, tap 1G and play Riftsweeper, return your swamp to your library.
You're up.

>>45061189
What swamp?

>>45061250
The one you played Turn 1
:^)

>>45061375
The one he sacked to kaervek's spite and then exiled?

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>>45062676

>he doesn't know what riftsweeper does

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I find it hard to beleive that no one has posted the superior turn 1 play yet.

>>45044106
>>45044771
I don't get it, how does having nothing in play win you the game?

>>45046439
tap forest, add G, exile elvish spirit guide for G, spend GG, manamorphose for UR, UR floating, spend UR cast Swerve target your Banefire

>>45063954
You still have 20 life mang, I dunno but it feels like your combo only gets you halfway there.

>>45064029
It's not just 'nothing in play'
It's nothing in play, nothing in hand, nothing in the graveyard, and nothing in your library.
You have nothing but a life total and exile. And if you can't see how that's Winning, I'm not sure what else to say.

>>45044771
Anyone figured out the most convoluted and annoying way possible to achieve this effect?

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>>45044771
you're one mana short of actually doing that

Swamp for B
spend B for BBB
spend B for another BBB (net BBBBB)
spend another B for BBB (net BBBBBBB)
spend BBBBB for Leveler (net BB)
spend 0 for Tormod's Crypt
get sad when you can't cast Kaervek's Spite with only BB floating

On the next turn when you are forced to draw from an empty library. Can you explain the joke please, someone?

>>45064489
If you cannot see it, then I cannot help you.

>>45064518
Is this a meme? Seriously? I have all of these cards, but I am looking at the rules and everything is pointing towards a loss on the second turn, even IF I had enough mana to cast Kaervek's Spite.
Regardless of the cards used, having to draw from an empty library on the subsequent turn would immediately cause me to lose the game.

>>45064547
That's the joke.
It's about losing in a spectacular way.

>>45064214
But how are you going to lower your opponents life with no cards?

>>45064610
You don't need to, because you are Winning.

>>45064621
That doesn't make sense

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>>45064304
I (>>45044771) was not >>45044106, but I was aware of that when I put the image together.
The *best* way to lose your board presence that I can think of is a little bit more straight forward.

Draft with Darksteel boosters (Mirrodin Block draft? Chaos draft? Whatever works).
Get *really* lucky and somehow get 6+ Serum Powders into your card pool.
Run 6+ Serum Powders and 34- whatevers.
Exile your entire library before you draw your opening hand.

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I tap a 2 land and play deadly recluse

>>45065004
I forgot to add, to properly exile your deck you'll need to use some Mulligans so that you don't deck yourself from the draw effect.
Unless you *want* to do that. In which case I have no idea how the rules treat losing the game before the game starts.

>>45063954
Wont Tormod's Crypt be in your graveyard?

>>45065266
Sacrificing it is part of the cost - it will be in the graveyard when its ability resolves.

>>45065266
Sacrificing the Crypt is part of the cost.

>Guys, guys, don't hate me out, it's just flyer tribal! Honest!"

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>>45065491
>"... Island go."

>>45044771
Replace Kaervek's Spite with small pox and it works.

>>45048236
How is this not one of the most broken cards in Yugioh.
How do you even lose if you play this with a board state?

>>45065004
You can achieve the same with Conspiracy draft and having lots of those conspiracies that allow you to play 5 less cards in your deck.

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>>45044067
Snow covered island, turn.

>>45063954
This combo is too impractical.. Why not replace the Swamp, rituals, and Sinkhole with a Black Lotus?

>>45067096
Right

>>45053819
health means a lot less in HS since it doesn't regen. But also >>45054668

>>45044067
(Using banned as fuck cards)
While you play out your turn, I play Gemstone Caverns, exile whatever the fuck I want from my hand. I then discard Elvish Spirit Guide from my hand. Got a G floating, then tap Gemstone caverns for a U. Use floating GU to play flash into a protean Hulk. Hulk dies, I search my library for 4 disciple of the vaults, and look for 4 Shifting Wall and 4 Phyrexian Marauder. Dealing you 32 damage on your own turn.

>>45063954
At least three people have posted it before you.