>player tells you his character backstory
>"Oh, my character's name? Yeah, it's L'gatsh'fa'gf'rr'dssa'sssaa'"
>"I just used a name generator online"
>Me: Alright, what did you want to make
>Him: I wanted to play a girl this campaign
>Me: Do you have art so I can make a token?
>Him: Yeah just gimme a sec to upload it
>It appears we've rolled, uh, five criticals all within a few rolls of one another. Huh!
someone said this IRL?
>new game new players
>some dude, some kid, some fatty, and a katanafag
>everyone makes normal characters
>wants the DM to bend the rules so he can make a katana-wielding samurai
>DM lets him refluff the fighter
>he wants a katana
>DM allows him to fluff a longsword
>katanafag wants a one handed light finesse, 1d12, 18-20 x3 crit weapon at level 1.
>mentions the 9001 folds and all that crap
>dm finally allows it
>all enemies are now resistant/immune to slashing damage
>player makes paladin
>paladin is engaged
>trying to get rid of bad guys to help fiancee save her home
>talking to female badguy
>she doesn't know he's goodguy
>they chat for a while
>"would Pelor like, be upset if I bang her?"
I was unaware that was even on the table... but yes. Cheating on your fiancee with the Vecnan bad guy is absolutely not ok with Pelor.
>Accidentally make an encounter too hard because I didn't know how to balance it.
>Don't figure this out until the whole party is killed off in a few rounds.
This is why you don't try to run a dnd game without at least skimming through the dungeon master's guide.
I'd tell him to go find a different name generator website. One that produces pronounceable names.
Then I'd give him a link to the one I use:
Probably not the best one. But I can't be bothered looking for another.
>Faggot friends are all weebs
>They all have no fucking original ideas and just want to play characters from the current flavor of the month anime
No matt you can't make a summoner named Jojo
No Chris you can't make a fucking magical girl character in my WoD campaign
And now everyone is trying to be fucking one punch man
If I could nuke Japan I would I fucking hate that shitty genre so much holy fuck I'm mad
>Friends are all weebs.
>Having friends who are weebs.
I think you're downplaying your own mistake here Anon, which is having friends who are weebs. This is like making friends with furfaggots and then complaining that they won't shut up about their shitty fetish.
You sound like a faggot Jojo's bizare adventures is a fucken masterpiece of art design, and story telling, both gucci and the lourve agree with me and a magical girl is perfect inspiration for either a mage or a changeling.
I don't think you thought your bait out enough to be convincing.
The Louvre is a museum, not an actual collection of artists, thus it itself wouldn't be an authority on good art (as that is subjective, which the museum knows, which is why they hold exhibits and change up the venue) whereas an actual talented artist would be able to admit the technical ability in a certain piece, maybe look up some prominent artists (not that modernist art shit, though, no one cares about how your spilled potato skins look) for that regard.
And Gucci is just overpriced tripe, everyone knows that. Look up some more obscure fashion companies, or specific fashionistas to be more credible, or at least be more aggravating.
We expect better, here in /tg/, please do deliver higher quality bait. Even if the person you are baiting deserves something more akin to /b/-tier pleb-bait.
Honestly I think it's because we tried that shit that Japan got as weird as it did so quickly. It's like they knew fighting would be a shit idea since America clearly had a hard on for its shiny new nukes and willingness to use them, so they opted to start doing weird quirky shit instead until it got popular enough to travel overseas. Slowly but surely Japan is getting its revenge by making weirder things popular, which in turn gets some people on board here, which in turn makes things really fucking uncomfortable for those not on board. That being said, >>45022949 is a bitch faced faggot for hating on Jojo and OPM. Those shows are actually pretty legit.
>That being said, >>45022949 is a bitch faced faggot for hating on Jojo and OPM. Those shows are actually pretty legit.
Wanting to play Saitama (or even further, a GANG of Saitamas) is shitting on both the game they're trying it in and the source anime.
>You're having fun wrong! Stop it!
You're posting on 4chan. More specifically, you're posting on a board of 4chan dedicated to games of make believe that are fantasy based in nature. Stop acting like you and your tastes are better than anyone else here.
Then hate your players, not the show. It's not like the people that decided to make OPM a show decided to do it because they thought it'd be a hoot to see a guy get frustrated that his players want to imitate Saitama.
The point of the anime is that being Saitama is NOT FUN and how his presence screws the community.
To do it justice in a game, he is an NPC that everybody plays off of.
Shallow faggots however, see only power wank vehicle.
Although on second thought, a good GM could force the point down the line.
>"FINE! You are overpowered motherfuckers. There's a supervillain robbing the bank."
>"I go in and punch him."
>"He is now a splatter on the ceiling. What do you want to do next?"
>proceeds to force them to play a whole day of SoL without any superfighting because they've already won
>also if he wants to play dirty, they are now accused of excess force by actual cops
I'm not that guy, I'm just agreeing that his players do suck balls.
The players are still shit. The GM is salvaging their shitty characters via judicrous railroading.
It would be a much better and enjoyable game if they went into it with eyes open, but knowing the type - they aren't.
>I'm not that guy, I'm just agreeing that his players do suck balls.
That is indeed true. Just seems dumb that he'd get angry at an entire genre because of his players being shit. That aside, the method you just provided seems like the best way to handle that situation (outside of just talking to them like adults of course). I imagine that a few sessions with that shit would curb their bullshit real quick. Maybe make them go the Mumen Rider route instead.
You're right, they should have just followed his orders and stuck to his narrative like a good player is supposed to.
Alternatively, he could have found a different group instead of waxing his fucking cross on an internet message board
Are you implying we should thus lower our standards and not be the best board?
Why, sir, I do believe those words are only uttered by madmen and fools!
I, for one, agree that we should act like the elegen/tg/entlemen we truly are.
Besides, good bait is always more fun to read. You can only stomach so many ebin baits.
>everyone in my group watches anime
>not full on weebs but they're halfway there
>My character is a gnome monk
>went into way of the open hand so i punch things
>now everyone keeps trying to make me into one punch man and I'm just sitting there like
>my name is francis mustard
>stahp calling me saitima
I've got a guy in my group that's a lot like that too.
>session 0 of a FFG Star Wars game
>Because we needed a sneaky character with computer skills, I'd made Cad Mersin. A cautious greedy human Shadow that relied on a handful of force powers, illicit slicing, and good old fashioned lying to make money while posing as a genius private investigator.
>While I'm discussing the character and figuring out how he knows and works with the other PCs. The weeb keeps trying to pin down and suggest the ways my Shadow is like various anime characters from shows and mangas I've never heard of.
>"So he's like El from Deathletter, or he's just so and so from Dagging Roomba, and that's clearly blah blah blah from Person uh 4, etc. etc."
>No. The character is Emerson Cod from "Pushing Daisies" with force sensitivity. The desire to play a character like that came from me binge watching "AKA: Jessica Jones," and my own amusement at the phrase "Jedi-P.I."
>he keeps calling me El in session.
Bringin back an oldie.
> characters systematically destroy, kill, evade, or ignore every possible source of information presented to them
> players complain that they don't know what's going on
I will railroad you fuckers so hard you will be shitting trains.
>i want to be a scantily clad shota
>i want to be a sexy furry
>i want to be a race that isnt in the setting
Yeah, that's is a pain in the ass.
I started letting some of the bad guys have actual records and documentation for them to follow up, but neither of the characters that actually read any of it ever pass the information on beyond "Uh, the notes mention this place. We should go there next"
Nobody ever asks them for more detail or if there's any clue about what's actually going on.
It's not that I want to railroad, I hate doing that, but it seems to be what they *want*.
>player breaks his sheet with all the cheap advantage/limitation combinations and maxed out social disadvantages
>'yeah, you're not getting Altered Time Rate 6, fix it'
>makes a huge fucking fuss about 'always gotta mess with my character' and 'so paranoid about powergaming, christ'
>turns it down to ATR 5, puts extra points into bullet-only frontal semi-ablative damage resistance in a modern setting
Why do players like this exist. How do they get to the stage where they get to join a game without being kicked.
>>"FINE! You are overpowered motherfuckers. There's a supervillain robbing the bank."
>>"I go in and punch him."
>>"He is now a splatter on the ceiling. What do you want to do next?"
>>proceeds to force them to play a whole day of SoL without any superfighting because they've already won
>>also if he wants to play dirty, they are now accused of excess force by actual cops
Sounds like 35% of shadowrun games I'v played.
in practice it's actually a pretty fun and comfy time
I would definitely welcome a summoner named Jojo. I mean hell, its a real fucking name that people use, what the fucks the difference.
I would welcome the loli if her age was some kind of detractor. Maybe I would try to sneak in a time-jump into my campaign just to say "ohh guess shes 18 now."
probably still be a 3'6" dfc but whatever
Saitama would just be a monk. If they ask for an ability to launch people into the stratosphere, I would certainly say no.
I do. Hence maxed out.
The thing about that rule is it doesn't include limitations - reducing the cost of your advantages doesn't count towards the points bought through disadvantages and stat reductions.
That being said though, it might be worth trying to see if making it so that they do would fix the issue.
Depends on what you mean by smooth.
Most of these groups I was with cock up the job big time.
The general 3 session flow goes something like this:
>Get some street level job
>Do minimal/sloppy leg work
>Go in, do some portion of the job before fucking it all up
>Grab what they can, get out
>Rest of the session is running around town trying to loose the fuzz
>Not even bothering to grab jobs
>they just chill out
>going to the bar and shit
>all while the last bunch of guys they pissed off are trying to kill them
>Finally get a new job
>Try doing actual leg work
>End up partying with NPCs, doing odd jobs for friends, obsessing over a dubiously useful bit of gear, ect...
>Generally just distracting themselves with poorly executed mundane activities
>No legwork gets done.
And so the cycle continues.
In universe I imagine it's like a circle of outgoing autists with no sense of scale and violent tendencies. It's like Seinfeld, if Kramer and George were the only two characters and they had shotguns for hands.
It's a horrible, pointless mess. But if the GM puts enough time and care into it, the horrible pointlessness because the centrepiece.
>GM okays various backstories and characters before the first session
>Starts out by saying we're all in the same jail after taking part in some big battle for the rebellion
>in the middle of nowhere
Just some D&D3.0 (not even 3.5) homebrew HF setting. He just starts with us in prison for no reason or warning. None of our characters' backstories meshed with it. Maybe he played too much Oblivion. The jail was just some remote unimportant castle on a snowy mountain. It was pretty jarring, in the bad way. The campaign didn't go past the first session.
Okay, you're still the gm and have final veto power on the guy. He needs you approval to play anything, so feel free to keep saying no until he submits something you both agree on.
>be weeb with an actual powerlevel
>all of my bards are girls from iDOLM@STER
>my ranger was Kino
>Katanagatari is how I monk
>my wizards are the exorcists from Monogatari
>my sorcerers were Yomiko and the Paper Sisters
>currently playing THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!
>no one has a clue
I think I'll make someone from Chaika next, and I'd like to do Seki-kun if I could figure out how to build him.
Name generators are really useful, but you'd be far better off going to a baby name website and picking from there.
>base characters off Lone Wolf and Cub, Samurai Executioner, Vagabond, Kurosawa movies
>sometimes rip off lines wholesale because they fit the goddamn moment
>people I play with NEVER put it together, no matter how shameless I am
>realize that despite all their claims, their power level is on a whole different track, and there is no intersecting
>feels worse when they tell me how awesome I am at making characters that feel fleshed out and well rounded
>player tells you his character is Japanese
>chose a name by mashing syllables together
>no one in real life has a name like it
Do these people think Japanese language is fictional and the names of anime characters don't have meanings?
It's like naming a French character Beret Bidet!
Nothing wrong if you do that for systems like Anima or D&D in where there're names depending on the plane, country and race.
I can't name a Drow Bill without being that guy, that's not how Drow names work, and I don't know Drow language to come up with a Drow name on the fly, that's why I use generators. Also after you use [Colour]Beard [Hard material]Strong, Dwarves names become too obvious.
Ozkar Grainbeard. A surface Dwarf who left his farming ways to worship Mordorf (the god of MORE DORFS) and smite his enemies. He had a lot of enemies.
He got too strong. Wrestled a Purple worm to the ground because "It's not THAT big."
Am I that guy if I've also played a girl with a katana?
My gentleman of african persuasion
I agree with you, personally. Shoe horning Japanese bullshit into everything is the worst thing in the universe. I know a guy that keeps fucking making legit Kamen Riders in a western fantasy campaign.
And a guy that keeps making fucking magical girls. Granted they are always enjoyable characters, but come on man.
It's not another way to play the game though. It's an excuse to be as obnoxious as possible. People ban Kender for the exact same reason. You don't play one to explore the roleplaying opportunities or whatever. You play them to be an annoying cunt.
Sorry, Anon, I didn't mean to trigger you. Can you show me on the doll where That Guy touched you? No? It's alright, I'm here to help. Just know that two or three bad eggs out of millions of active RPG players is not a tell of the potential a race has if properly role-played. For god's sake you are blinded by your anecdotes. Now tell me about all the systems you hate because your first exposure was with a bad GM.
Unless the character he always plays is actively disruptive (which it's not, or you would have led with that), there's no problem here. You make your character, and let him make his. If you don't like that, fuck off.
> anything ever happens
> "hmm, how about we try setting the forest/village/city/castle/whatever on fire?"
I'm literally the exact opposite, it takes an active effort of will for me not to bring a different character to each session. I have way too many character ideas, and I haven't run a game in forever so I haven't had a chance to let any of them out via NPC's.
I'm just not the type of asshole that tries to force other people to have fun in the exact same way that I have fun.
Running a group with a Paladin
>You open the door to a hewn cha-
I detect evil
>You detect no evil... anyways, a hewn chamber. In the corner is a cabinet with or-
I detect evil on cabinet
>You don't detect any evil...a cabinet with ornate markings and designs all over. To the left, a small table
DETECT EVIL ON TABLE
Fucking paladins man.
That feel when the kobold player in the party you DM for has the most fleshed-out personality and 5 page backstory.
That feel when the 8 Charisma kobold is the centerpiece of the party.
Something I really wish I could pull off in this game. I think they're having fun?
I'm not really sure, but it's not the game I was planning to run, and it's getting pretty frustrating. I didn't exactly advertise constant meaningless swordfights.
I think this is kind of fun actually.
Re-imagining the same character from a high-fantasy medieval type setting, to a low-fantasy cyberpunk setting, or a sci-fi setting can be kind of fun. Especially if they're a race that doesn't exist in one of the settings, working in the confines of the system to create a spiritual successor can be pretty fun.
I'd point out that The Strange is a thing, but apparently the Cypher System is the spawn of Satan or something, at least around here. Still, you might want to take a look, it's literally what you just said.
I doubt it, probably because the ones that aren't pure are dead because they were captured, raped and killed as is tradition among the savages. The ones that survive could fight off their attackers, or were swift enough to evade them.
>make dragonborn monk
>plan to just goof off
>DM comes in
>alright guys, there's no elves or dragonborn in this world anymore. Lots of old forts and such.
>looks at me
>anon, you're a major part of the story
Everyone knows the best board is the board that wins the world cup
Except if, for some reason, /mlp/ win it. Then we simply migrate to another website for a while
I honestly don't know what I expected when I opened this thread but it got derailed fast
>player makes idiotic backstory, but is a friend of a friend, so Iet him in the group with some trepidation.
>Look over the character sheet, lists height as "1.6" cm.
>Ask if he meant 1.6 meters.
>He calls me a dumbass American and that I shouldn't pretend I understand the metric system.
In retrospect I should have let him stay long enough to be stepped on by the first thing they fought.
>okay, so you've beaten most of the gang and their leader has accepted your terms
>one of his guards is weeping and pointing at his dead friend
>I go to remove his friends head and give it to him
>make custom one shot for some first time player friends
>never DM before
>use LotFP because stats work with Dad's old AD&D collection and classes are simple
>prepare old fashioned pulpy adventure for them
>meet with them all beforehand to draft up character sheets
>send them PDF of rulebook and ask them to brush up on class rules and combat
>they show up with hellish character sheets
>nobody read rules (expected that)
>takes them about 10 minutes of an amusing but confused walkthrough to get how in-game interaction works (talking to NPCs, indicating action, etc.)
>babbys first adventure is 'muh wood bandits'
>toss them an NPC cleric guide because nobody thought healing was important.
>Completely bypass wandering wolves with little to no effort
>bandits roll horribly and ambush results in virtually no damage to party
>they cavort away merrily with loot
>encounter chaos cleric in nearby shed
>foil my poison checks with brilliant rolls
>fuck up and cast silence on inside the shed so my caster is now useless
>gets shredded by fighters after a prolonged chase around the property
>completely avoid treasure trove at the bottom of a nearby lake
>despite handing them waterbreathing apparatus
I have never known this despair
>It's an excuse to be as obnoxious as possible. People ban Kender for the exact same reason.
As a GM who has ran for Kender PCs before. They aren't obnoxious.
Obnoxious people playing Kender makes for obnoxious Kender. Because they would probably then just make some dickass rogue who is just as awful to deal with. The player is the issue, not the race.
So? If those races exist in the world, then there exists the possibility of a group of only non-humans hanging out together. The whole point of most games is that the PC's aren't just average people...
When they think they're gonna create the next big /tg/ story even though it's a blatant copy of a funny d&d story they heard
>GONNA MAKE THIS SUCH A FUNNY MOMENT
>LE EBIN MOMENT GUYS INCOMING XDD
>I try to flirt with _______
There's only so many stupid rolls I can take before I start straight up making them fail on purpose. I don't mind funny moments but stop trying to make this a comedy routine thinking I'm gonna run to reddit and post the story of what you just did.
>Players who make a character that is anything but Human
>Players who play a Bard and can't either sing or play an instrument
>Players who use the term "BBEG" unironically
>Players who make a character with the Chaotic Neutral alignment
>Players who act contrary to their alignments because "that's what their character would do"
>playing Adeptus Evangelion
>one player was great, played character development, accurately reacted to things in the setting, voluntarily took stress and ego damage because of how his character would react to things
>had to leave halfway through the game
>one player has a character that continues to insist that everyone should kill themselves
>accidentally creates a death cult because of his diplomancing
>continues to try to pretend that it's just a "misunderstood organization" and defends it from other players with rigorous debate that nobody else wants to get into
>will inevitably be surprised when the death cult does exactly what's on the tin: die or try to kill everyone and die trying
>one player is a former DM and goes along with my schemes
>so I give him all the info I don't give the other players
>can't shake the feeling he's going to betray me and fuck over all my plans
>but at least it would be my fault
>and that ONE player
>audibly groans when people start roleplaying
>continues to "lose" his character sheet and has to keep "remaking" it
>still, to this day, has not given me his character sheet when asked because it's "broken" (its digital)
>last session even said to me "Don't start combat without me!"
>IN ADEPTUS EVANGELION
>also plays the generic Tough Russian Orphan Kid Who Isn't Psychologically Vulnerable
>the apocalypse starts in two sessions
>DM-Buddy will laugh along, Captain Sads will get confused and Asshat will complain ceaselessly about railroading
>and I can't fucking wait
It is not Japan's fault. Blame your friends for being weak and lacking true imagination. They are sheep, forever doomed to be uninteresting people who will never move past their lowly clerking jobs.
But you might try talking to them about getting better source material. Stuff where there's actual teams who actually have to work together to actually accomplish things which is actually the point of RPGs.
Also character names aren't hard. You just need to study classical literature and you'll have an endless supply of names nobody will realize are ripped off.
Trust me, I played Ilmarinen the Smith through an entire campaign without anyone realizing what I was about.
>I'm playing a Tiefling
>She's an orphan, her family are DEEEEAAAD
>She's 13 but she looks much younger
>Okay so which of you other players is playing my adopted Dad?
I don't mind the obvious fetishbait so much, but basically forcing another player to take on the role of your "father" is fucking gay as shit.
Yeah, because I love to listen to people make up bullshit about their imaginary groups just so they can prove random jackoffs on the internet wrong.
Btw whenever I run a game someone in the group has to bring their gf over to suck me off if they don't want me to off their character. They're beta cucks so they have to do it or risk offending me. Aren't I fucking cool?
>Yeah, because I love to listen to people make up bullshit about their imaginary groups just so they can prove random jackoffs on the internet wrong.
Those stories are just as likely to be true as any other story in this thread.
I've started making my NPC names as difficult to pronounce as possible, a la Metalocalypse. The party just met a man named Friedrik Flumfertifluff.
My party is somehow better at remembering their names now.
>Me: Alright so in this setting there's going to be a lot of discrimination against using magic flagrantly and frivolously as the apocalypse happened a few decades ago and everyone is pretty sure that magic caused it, so it's a touchy subject. Keep this in mind if you play a caster.
>Group: Sure thing anon, sounds like fun!
>someone wildshapes in the middle of town to beat up a pickpocket
>another guy tries to charm a shopkeeper for a discount
>the entire town guard (like 20 people) show up in chainmail with polearms telling the players to either quit their shit or get ready to learn what pincushions feel like
>Anon this isn't fair, why'd you even let us make casters if you were just going to railroad our magic away?
Why the fuck do people agree to games that they don't want to play? Do they just not listen when I describe the setting? Or is it that they just think that I'm so utterly thin-skinned that I can't handle my players wanting to play something that I didn't suggest?
Oh re-imagining a character within the confines of a new setting can be fun, but that's not what the chucklefucks >>45024772
is talking about do.
They make the SAME character and demand that the DM allow it.
Okay, so what's your character's name?
>Oh it's uh, Skittles Mormon
Haha, ok, no really
>His name is "Better than Batman, Superman, Spiderman and all the Avengers combined"
>Okay okay, how about "Dick Punch"?
>Okay, so it's "Little Man", but you have to say it like Christopher Walken, an-
>Alexander Graham Bell
This continues on for about 10 minutes, and then once he finally picks a name that isn't a phrase or famous person's name, he tries to convince me to let him play a character that is effectively a living joke
Although that is true wholesale rip offs of other characters suck in RPGs. Doesn't matter if it's Summoner named Jojo, or a Dragon Sorcerer named 'Khaleesi' it will almost always be forced and detract from the game.
You guys are fuckin' retarded.
>Players who play a Bard and can't either sing or play an instrument
I'm pretty sure that players who play wizards can't cast spells or players that play druids can't shapeshift into animals either
I think the other Anon meant players that pick up Bard for stuff like Bardic Lore and the large amount of skill points, but put none of the skill points into any bard related Perform skills.
Saw it happen before.
>"Oh, my character's name? Yeah, it's L'gatsh'fa'gf'rr'dssa'sssaa'"
There isn't necessarily anything wrong with this as long as the player both has a good reason for that name and provides a shorter name for general use. If that character then either answered to Gatsh or LaGatsh I don't see the issue.
I once played a cleric with ridiculously long family name, with fathers of fathers and so on, it took like 15 seconds to pronounce it completely. He was fine with just being called a shorter name, but the first party member to memorize his full name has immediately gained his respect and friendship.
Or you can for example play a dragon-wannabe kobold, have him use ridiculously long name (because all dragons should) and get mad whenever somebody shortens it.
That's a shame, I met my current DM and static group on /tg/. Nobody is a That Guy and we don't even act like we've heard of 4chan before. It's a fun group outside of the game, too. I think you'll be surprised.
My elves normally go full on with the Elvish Apostrophes and have long family names, I imagine when you live as long and have as much free time as an elf you like to keep very careful family trees, but always make sure they have a 2 syllable given name.
If you have planned out your character down to a what you are going to use xp for at your systems end game equivalent, FUCK YOU.
If you are so enamored with what you think your character should become that you ignore any and all things in the story line, I do not want that character in my game.
I offer many chances to change up things like enemy specific abilities, beef up story and setting relevant character options and bonuses for being part of a setting. If you can not meet me halfway to at least fit in to the game, I do not really want you at my table. I am not going to run a game based around characters that can adapt to their situations and grow as people while I have you trudging on demanding one game after game complaining that your ranger type who put everything into killing humans with kukris.
Also, fuck anyone who uses the same name for every character they have and it is not a gag. Go to the damn courthouse and have your name changed and stop being so damn obsessed.
>Also, fuck anyone who uses the same name for every character they have and it is not a gag.
Only thing worse is players who self-instert, I've had a player look me in the eye and say "I, as a player know that thing is bad, therefore, my character, who is me, knows this thing is bad"
I made him make a will save and gave him schizophrenia. I was the voice in his head.
1- Why are you friends with them if you hate the shit they like, do you owe them money?
2- Just give in and watch Berserk you faggot.
> character does something so painfully stupid and/or risky
> dies for it
> DM is at fault
Always always always. I need a drink.
Oh boy this.
>Party in dense forest
>Spot someone sneaking up ahead
>Spellcaster casts burning hands
>Turns out the sneaking guy was supposed to be a friendly NPC, that thought they were monsters, and would have pointed them to the hidden base they've been looking for
>Forest is now also on fire, because again, dense forest, burning hands
>"Wow, what a dick move, DM. Like why would you have the friendly NPC sneak? And I mean why isn't the forest fireproof? It's just a spell that sets everything in a 15 foot cone instantly on fire."
>Only thing worse is players who self-instert,
What's wrong with self inserts.
I mean is there something inherently wrong with playing a clone of yourself in the setting of the adventure?
>I want to play
>a dark elf
>who is a loner
>and also evil
>Player bitches about not having enough magic weapons
>Bitches that all the weapons I give out are shitty puns
>Let him find magic warhammer
>On hit, spend a charge to make target save against slow
My first character in DnD was Rob The entertainer, he left the group because they were psychopaths that killed everything and jumped into danger.
My next was Robert he is Rob younger half brother.
I made it so their entire family line all started with Rob
Had Rob, Robert, Robin, Robinario, Roberto and final Roberters.
I would have simply grabbed a ruler without saying a word, pointed the centimeter side to him, then put my finger on the 1.6 mark, then say slowly
>"You want your character this tall?"
>last session even said to me "Don't start combat without me!"
>IN ADEPTUS EVANGELION
Looks like someone gets to deploy to the battlefield behind schedule.
Or, the other direction is to have him deploy at the same time, but immediately chump to the Angel's gimmick power to show it off in action, knocking out the Eva until the player actually shows up.
I did this once in an away from base fight against a telekinetic Angel. It pull his carrier plane right out of the goddamn sky, and then flung it away out of fear once he panicked and spread his AT Field (back when having to spread AT fields manually was still a thing).
So he was trapped in the wreckage of his carrier plane, presumed defeated, until the player showed up to the session an hour later. Made for a good 'oh shit!' opening to the fight.
> infiltrating volcano lair
> players come across an enemy wizard floating above a lava filled chasm, hurling fireballs at the players
> barbarian charges into melee
> against floating mage over lava
> I explain again the situation, and ask if he is sure
> he says yes
> "Well... I guess you fall 40ft into a pit of lava, then. Thats a bunch of damage"
> "What the hell! I thought he was standing on an invisible bridge"
> "Well, you were wrong"
The game broke down for 20 minutes because he wanted to take back the action so his character wouldn't die.
Pffffuck that. This isn't Prince of Persia. Should he let them retcon every bad decision, or are we removing all possibilities of death specifically? Oh, wait, let me guess, you only allow deaths caused by random dice rolls.
This is why I always make my players tell me their plans and what their thinking ahead of time. Things like this can be avoided.
Like the time the level 1 fighter kicked a desk at the main villain. He wanted to stun him then escape. Good idea, bad plan.
Different Anon, and I agree, but I tend to give every player exactly 2 strikes, and I let them know this the moment they lost the first character to something this colossally stupid.
Two times, throughout their entire gaming career that can turn time back a single action.
If they still haven't learned to think before they act after that, it's their fault.
Of course I still clarify the situation, just in case they misheard something, but yeah. You can't just jump into a dragon's mouth assuming you'll be able to stab his heart on the way down.
>party is on a spooky island where an evil necromancer once lived
>island is inhabited by weird and suspicious villagers who don't like outsiders
>party goes up to the ruins of the necromancer's castle
>the one remaining tower is shut by way of a magical doorknock thing, who can talk and needs to say some arbitrary phrase to unlock the door
>instead of opening the door and going off to find what evils are within the tower, the party goes back to the village, borrows and axe, hacks the doorknocker out of the door and brings him along to show him new sights (since he hadn't seen much of the world in his centuries of existence)
DM didn't expect us to do that. His name is Handel now. He hangs around the wizard's neck by rope and provides occasional commentary.
>My character is a Samurai...
On a Crit (confirmed) I'll roll on a table. Unless I roll a Nat 20 for him, no. But basically 5-19 will mean he stabs something vital enough to be barfed back up.
Point is, I don't want players jumping down dragons' throats.
If say the dragon's the one who tried to swallow them, and they're fighting not to get swallowed, that's a different story. I'm talking PCs who casually slide down the dragon's throat, because they think the stomach acids of a creature that eats villages and can melt steel beamsis no problem.
And you do it well
To keep thread on topic I had a dm with a huge dagger fetish. He added an extra action to swing for every weight increase. Took three turns to swing a two handed sword. Two for one handed swords and one turn for daggers. Than threw magical daggers at us out the ass.
Oh. No. Fighter got a lightning bolt to the face.
But he accepted his fate, because he knew the death came about from his own plan.
And getting beat on initiative, but that was to be expected.
I uploaded the shit version :P
I Dm'd an /x/ type of girl once in high school. She was always trying to summon ghost and spirits via "unorthodox" methods rather than having the actual spell for it. It was pretty fun, sometimes it worked but most of the time not so much.
You guys have to remember that you're not working *against* your players.
If you prevent them from having fun by making them accountable for their idiocy you're doing it wrong. You're their GM who's supposed to make a fun story for all, not their teacher/parents.
Of course ideally you pick your players to not be idiots, but if you're already playing together you should at least try to accomodate their idiocy.
Ok, so there are a few boards that are exceptions to the 'everything else is shit' rule, but the fact of the matter is that the shit still far outweighs the good. My point is it isn't hard to be the best track runner when most of the competition is wheelchair bound and the finish line is at the top of a hill.
That's why I have the two strikes.
Seriously, imagine a campaign, where every other month, a big climactic encounter grinds to a halt, because "whoops, we ought to turn back time! The fighter decided to use his sword as a thrown weapon against a lich floating above a bottomless chasm, and then changed his mind, when he figured out that when the DM told him this is probably a bad idea, he meant that the lich won't magically fly thirty feet to the side, and land outside the chasm, once he dies from the +5 sword piercing his chest"
Atlernative of course being that every time this happens, the lich magically does exactly that, and we're stuck in a setting with no reprocautions.
This is fine in a comedic toned campaign of course. I would be more inclined to allow it there, but most games I play at least try to be serious, and if you're going to do something an NPC couldn't dream to walk away from, even if he had your stats and equpiment, then you're going to have to live with the consequences.
Yeah. I have to constantly remind myself of this. Part of my problem is that half of my group are murder-hobos who think we're playing the pen and paper version of GTA, and the other half a good, thoughtful role-players who are interested and invested in the story. I could DM for either group fine, but putting them together is hard.
Spent the whole last session dealing with a player using Summon Monster to throw a dolphin at the bartender's liquor cabinet because he's "chaotic evil."
I want to deal with it in a way that's fun, but doesn't take the piss out of the game.
>Part of my problem is that half of my group are murder-hobos who think we're playing the pen and paper version of GTA
Why are you playing with those people?
Couldn't you have the sword pierce the lich and the inertia carry him to the other side and impale him to the wall?
I mean if the fighter could actually throw his sword in a way to make it pierce the lich's chest it probably had enough inertia to carry that semi skeleton to the other side didn't it?
It would then of course be a lot more difficult to get to the lich, but not outright impossible.
The two strikes rule is fine though.
>Couldn't you have the sword pierce the lich and the inertia carry him to the other side and impale him to the wall?
Actually realized this alternative as I was sending, and if this was the exact situation (again, depending on how it's set up, how wide the chasm is, how far the lich was etc), I might allow it.
The greater point however, is that if the situation is completely outright asinine, like say the lich is howering on your end of the chasm, and there is a good thirty feet of empty air behind him until the other side, and you still do this?
I just can't allow that without the whole thing devolving into a cartoon.
To all those discussing Saitama as a character, watching that show gave me an idea for a one-shot format:
One-Punch Pathfinder (Or whatever system you use)
>All players make low level characters with serious backstories and clearly defined goals.
>One player makes a level 20, and basically just gets to faff about the whole game.
>Send the party up against impossible odds (Not counting the resident Saitama).
>Any player who survives AND completes his or her goal wins.
The ability to win or lose encourages the players to be somewhat serious, and to try to convince the level 20 to help them. With the right players as the level 20, politics and hilarity ensues.
Whadda y'all think?
>Why are you playing with those people?
Because their friends. The guy who hosts us is super friendly, and constantly making new friends and inviting them to join us. At one point, I was GMing for an 11 player party.
Once we finish this story, I'm only going to run funny and lighthearted stuff with them. I've got a more serious game with the best role-players on the side, and I've limited that one to 4 players max.
You know, you could use a similar concept to actually have something of a serious game.
There is a BBEG, that the Level 20 needs to defeat, let's call him Boros.
Other players are running like level 5 characters, so they already have some cool abilities, but nowhere near Level 20 Saitama abilities.
However, Saitama can't just get to Boros like it's nothing, in order to get there, he'll need certain bases covered, so the level 5 guys, will have to basically be the utility guys who go off to open gates, find secret passages, cast utillity spells, fend off minor threats, while Saitama Guy is on obliteration duty to protect them from the bigger bads and keep Boros' attention. (For added challenge you could have your Boros be interested in a bigger picture, like killing the local King, and all of this takes place in his floating castle en-route to the capital
real original, I know.or in a massive sea battle the players having to navigate through boarding parties, and sinking ships and maybe even commandeer one to get to Boros' flagship.)
>post yfw you're playing with that one guy who will stop at nothing to make his character broken and OP as fuck
>and then complain that you gimp him/make the game exponentially more difficult to counter him
Convinced my mom's bf to play a game with us, and with my mom the DM. He's a musician and decides to roll Gnome Bard. We end up in a tavern and he asks to perform for income, giving the bar a standard cut. The owner decided to stiff him, so he went outside and cast Invisible Servant, sent it in to wreck the place. After 10 minutes of crashing and yelling, the owner comes out of the bar with the Bard's share, admits he didn't know the Gnome was a Bard, and offers him a bottle of his finest brandy. Good times.
>This entire story
Oh my god the deja vu.
Guy in my campaign has a custom built legacy item.
It's basically got a couple of things that work in unison to basically make the legacy item haunted.
>Unseen Servant 24/7 Least effect
>Major Intelligent Item (with ego out the ass) Lesser effect
>Basically, within the lore, the Unseen Servant is the same entity as the item's intelligence, because the wizard who founded its legacy got trapped in it when he died
>Group by chance encounters an Elf, who was basically the biggest rival of the wizard who created said legacy item and is trapped inside it
>DM had this idea that if the players were really benevoltent, they might find a way to set the lost soul free
>PC who has the item says fuck that, and decides to get back at the item for being more dominant in a few situations (again, Ego out the ass) by basically striking up conversation with the Elf about how big of a dick the Wizard was. (Elf has no idea that the wizard's spirit is with them)
>Item keeps telepathically shouting at PC to cut this bullshit out
>PC just keep bantering with Elf
>Halfway through the conversation the Unseen servant just starts wrecking the Elf's incredibly expensive collection of antiques that he brought together over an elven lifetime on his own accord.
Forgot to add that the wizard in the lore was basically a a failed bard, and most of the conversation was about how shit his poems were,
hence the whole gnomish bard with Invisible servant/shit poet wizard ghost parallel.
>Make a fantasy name.
>Provide a simple and easy nickname already in the sheet.
>Everybody proceeds to struggle through the long form name instead of using the nickname.
>Sitting here next to my friend (other player) Matt
>GM hates anime and hates me for being a weeb
>Other player is really obsessed with OPM
Dude we've never played WoD so I know it isn't you but you're really creeping me the fuck out.
Oh no, the guy got the picture that this Elf could have been some sort of a key, since the item pretty much told him that the Elf had something of his.
It's just that the PC had this sort of love-hate relationship with the wizard ghost and decided to fuck with him.
DM didn't seem to mind that much, since he happily played along with both the Elf and the wizard, and it wasn't really a part of any overarching plans (as far as I know right now) to have the wizard be released.
>Player makes terrible character based on a gimmicky attack combo that doesn't kick in for like seven levels and doesn't even work the way they think it does
>Gimmick isn't even very good
I once had a Ringo Stud. He was a bard, obviously. He once wanted to burn down a guy's tomato farm because he'd provided tomatoes to throw at him after a bad performance. He brought up Mormonism in character. He insisted that his weapon be a boomerang (and the dice were really against him, so he never hit with it), and was surprised that he had to get an enchantment so it'd actually come back to him. One time in a one shot, where there was an illusion so that some mummies feeding us rotted foodstuffs looked like beautiful ladies giving us fine fruit to drink, he was the only one to see through the illusion and waited until we had taken a few bites before revealing the illusion to us.
>let player know about risk
>ask player "are you sure?"
>player be hype
>say they're feeling lucky after the last few rolls
>fanfare and baited breath
>the dice fails them
>"This is a stupid game, you're a bad gm, a bloo bloo bloo"
the same fucking player does it every time
I'm so sorry Anon. I too know the feeling of having players who are weeb trash.
>I will railroad you fuckers so hard you will be shitting trains
>It's like Seinfeld, if Kramer and George were the only two characters and they had shotguns for hands.
I want to play in your game.
Let's get back on track gents.
DM discussions are go!
Your players were only wrong because they blamed you. It's kind of the NPC's fault for sneaking around... they may have been a bit twitchy, but that shit happens.
>Forest is now also on fire, because again, dense forest, burning hands
Somebody doesn't know the difference between "flammable" and "combustible". Fire spells are too fast to ignite most things unless they're actually flammable, like gunpowder or gas or something (for example, try running a piece of wood back and forth over a fire... it won't catch fire immediately, you need to keep it in the fire for an extended period of time to set it ablaze). Unless the forest was soaked in gasoline for some reason, it shouldn't have caught on fire... so that part really was your fault.
>Somebody doesn't know the difference between "flammable" and "combustible". Fire spells are too fast to ignite most things unless they're actually flammable, like gunpowder or gas or something (for example, try running a piece of wood back and forth over a fire... it won't catch fire immediately, you need to keep it in the fire for an extended period of time to set it ablaze). Unless the forest was soaked in gasoline for some reason, it shouldn't have caught on fire... so that part really was your fault.
Maybe I should've added that it was autumn.
I also gave it a generous roll, namely "anything above 20 on a d% will not set fire to the forest" (stuff that's in the house rules everyone got).
Also, I wasn't really angry that they killed the NPC, I expected they might, so I even put a clue in his inventory, in case the guy with the bow crits him on first sight.
What bothered me, was just them acting like I'm cheating, by a) using pre-established rules that follow common sense (let's not forget that burning hands still produces a torrent of such heat, it can instantly kill a weaker man on the right roll), and b) having an NPC who doesn't just pop out with a giant yellow exclamation mark over his head, to let them know he's part of a quest.
I always hated the idea of the alignment system. Like, it's just such an arbitrary restriction to your personal freedom.
If YOU know how your character acts, and if YOU know what they would do, then it's YOUR responsibility to act within those reasons and make your character as fleshed out and believable as possible.
>"Lel, you can't betray your friends to save the pretty girl! You're good guy!"
But I JUST went on about how much my character loved the farm girl, and how he'd literally kill himself if it meant she could live.
Realistically speaking, he'd sell out his friends in order so that she could live. Some random quote on a sheet of paper doesn't TELL me who my character is.
D&D relies too much on number crunching, man. Too many times, the DM doesn't focus on building a good story, and a lot of the time, they treat it more as a game of chess.
>"Do you guys have an idea for your characters?"
>"Well what is it "
>"I WANNA BE A SPACE MARINE "
They'll say this for any game, they're never serious about it and only because it sends me into a seething rage. It used to be funny... 4 years ago.
>For added challenge you could have your Boros be interested in a bigger picture
>like killing the local King, and all of this takes place in his floating castle en-route to the capital real original, I know.
Yeah, Anon, way to rip off