Your adventuring party is out traveling during a heavy winter storm when they suddenly encounter a cat out in the middle of nowhere.
What do you do?
The two times this has happend to my party, the first one was an Even Cat who was a huge prick, and the other it was a polymorphed Copper Dragon who was a huge prick to our cleric and liked the rest of us except the rogue, who he ignored for some reason. Like, "you don't even exist" ignored.
We take the cat with us.
"If the cat is overweight and not afraid of humans it's someone's cat. We should look around and see if someone lives around here. Wandering in a winter storm is a bad idea, and maybe we can return their cat and wait until the storm passes. "
I'd say a different one; I was going to post "leave it alone" too, but we can't assume OP's pic is entirely accurate to the situation, as I'd be hard pressed to describe that pic as a "heavy winter storm."
Our Paladin who's
notBrock Sampson bites his lip to that blood trickles down, and then detects evil. What happens next doesn't really matter either way. Someone's still gonna wind up impaled, bloody, and crying on the ground.
>encounter a cat out in the middle of nowhere.
I cast speak with animals, then ask the cat where the nearest humanoid dwellings are. I also make some small talk with the cat, and offer some meat for his trouble.
Give zero fucks cause cats and keep walking. Fuck cats.
The dragonborn paladin doesn't really care
The gnome warlord doesn't really care
The goliath barbarian squeals with joy picks up the cat and shows it to the Tiefling wizard.
The Tiefling wizard attempts to not get his face scratched off while telling the goliath that yes it is indeed adorable but maybe you should put it down it doesn't look to happy being held.
STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles.
>been living off the land since I was a lad
>always moving from place to place, never settle down in the same area for more than a couple days
>one day see a deer with a nice rack
>figure its antlers will sell for a pretty gold coin
>take aim with my bow
>shoot an arrow straight through the heart, it dies instantly
>walking up to my fresh kill hear a faint scream
>pay no attention to it
>while cutting the head off I can still hear the screaming, its getting louder
>get the head off quickly and start heading for the village I spotted a while ago
>wtf, screaming sounds like a human
>spot some old crazed guy wearing clothes made out if leaves running straight towards me
>I trip and fall on a tree root sticking oddly out of the ground
>old guy starts hitting me with a stick
>tell him to knock it off and stop that fucking screaming
>figure he just wants the deer head back
>fine, I don't need the money anyways
>put the deer head down
>he just picks it up and starts walking towards the corpse
>decide to use my stealthy skills to follow him and see what the fuck he's doing
>watch as he stitches the head back to the corpse with some thread
>starts chanting some ritualistic shit
>the deer slowly gets up and starts walking away like nothing happened
Complain to the DM that he's trying to railroad us into yet another magical realm sidequest involving his cat fetish while secretly meeting behind his back to see if we can get his cats repossessed because it's obvious that he's abusing it sexually.
Speak to Animals
Yo Mr. Cat, is there any place nearby where we could take shelter? We'll pay you in meat for taking us there.
Then proceed to scratch the cat behind the ears.
Tiefling Paladin with slavic accent.
"Oh no! Ve must save zeh little furry vone from zis harsh cold!"
If the cat complies, we cuddle it and keep it warm and fed. If the cat runs away, we make it our mission to find and save it. Once we have it and the blizzard stops, we might look around to see if anyone lost it or it belongs to anyone. If not, then we'll probably adopt it or at least find someone else to do so.
I capture, foster, and adopt out feral kittens irl, so it's really not a far cry for me.
>Ask it questions to see if it talks
>Is it trying to attack my ferret familiar
If none of the above turns anything untoward up and we determine that the cat will not survive without us we will pick it up and drop it off somewhere safe. Otherwise we might pet it if we feel like it and my familiar might to try play with it.
Get the party Rouge to prepare a fire while the Warrior flanks the vile beast wielding his trusty clobber,
the Priest casting holy magic on the frying pans to cleanse it
then i jump onto the cat and bit its ears of and claw at it to subdue it
>Party roaming the forest encounters two druids, one an elven servant of Ehlonna, one a human servant of Obad-Hai, screeching at each other over a baby dear that was mauled to death by an owlbear.
>Unable to make heads or tails of what the actual fuck is going on, the party leaves the screaming druids to their own devices.
I know a belly trap when I see one, but I'll still rub that belly. How much bleed damage do I take?
The sauce salesman who has already tried (and failed) to establish himself as the alpha-animal of fluffle of rabbits multiple times tries (& fails) the same thing. GM summons an army of cats to eviscerate us.
The hilarious thing is that any druid worth his sickle would know that killing to eat is just part of the natural order.
Sure, slaughtering thousands of animals for just trophies; or failing to allow them to recover their numbers; or deforesting vast swathes of land are insults to nature, but predators still have to eat and people are just really effective predators.
How do you even fuck that up..?
>Convince Princess to come hang out with us
>king gets upset
>Tell him he can hang out at the PCCave too
>They find themselves rubbing shoulders with a doppleganger assassin
>A Celestial quest-giver
>And the BBEG from the last campaign
>They're all playing cards