Humans stereotype dwarves as naming things like Mount Beard and

>>44979953
They name everything after themselves.

Jamestown
Oscar's Keep
The Queen's Library
Ulrick's Point

Conceited pricks

>>44980007
/thread

>>44980040
I've never been honored with one of these. I will treasure it

>>44980007
How many Alexandrias are there?

>>44980007
That's probably the best way of putting it.

>They even name their people after themselves! You, what's your name?
>Edward Johnson.
>You see?!

>>44980007
>aye and th' last time we has any humans round 'ere, was a colonist party from th' kingdom
>tried settin' up a wee village on th' mountainside so they did, named her somethin' like "Jacob's erect member"
>only took them a week before they up'n'left, somethin' aboot they cannae sleep through th' sound of constant ironworkin'

>>44980259
>Me da worked tha forge erry nigh' from sunset to sunrise, and that was me lullaby!
>He worked the forge the nigh' he put me in me ma's belly!
>He worked the forge the day AH grew me first chinhair!
>He worked the forge when I brough' home me first lass, and I loved her to the rhythm o' his steel, AH did!
>If those blasted humes cannae appreciate the romance o' the forge, they can fuck off the edge o' mah stout little cock!

Humans also name things as just what they are, if nobody important found them or they can't decide who did it first.

Like the Sahara desert. Or as the Arabs know it, "The Desert"

Or the Rocky Mountains. Know what other mountains are rocky? All of them.

>>44980486
Don't forget "The Great Sandy Desert" and "Lake Disappointment"

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>>44980387
>My father worked the mines, till the day it took his life.

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>>44980510
>It stole him from his only son, and it stole him from his wife.

>>44980190
7

>Elves name sites based on flora and fauna in the area
>Dwarves name sites based on minerals and geological features in the area
>Orcs and Goblins names sites after dangerous things in the area
>Humans name sites based on the obvious like >>44980486 & >>44980507

>>44980828
This is actually a cool breakdown

>>44979953
We're really uncreative with naming events. Most of our historical events are named after their location or date.

>country founded on july 4? The Fourth of July
>country founded on may 5? The Fifth of May (El Cinco De Mayo)
>terrorist attack on september 11? It's called Nine Eleven
>Battle happens near a town? Battle of [Town Name]
>Multiple battles happen at the same town? [Number] Battle of [Town Name]
>Massacre happens on Valentines Day? Valentines Day Massacre

>>44981013
its the ones named after dates that always get me i mean why do that.

>>44981013
>country founded on may 5? The Fifth of May
This didn't happen. It's not a Mexican Holiday, and Americans can fuck off with their margaritas. No I'm not bitter about not getting any margaritas.

>>44980007

>Sometimes they name themselves after jobs.

"Hi my name is Smith."
>SEE?! I bet that fucker works as a miller. Oooh look at me I'm a human and I'm so creative I'll pick a name after the job I'm doing at the moment (even though any dwarven blacksmith would do a much better job and due to my short lifespan I can never become as good a craftsman as even the worst dwarven apprentice is.)

>>44981116
>tfw Dwarves brag about how good at smithing they are
>tfw I'm an elf, just sitting here in my room full of magic blades that will never dull and can detect magic
Fucking kek

>>44981153
>Dwarf brags about his masonry and how he has 200 years of experience working with stonecraft.
>Nearby an elf tries to suppress a giggle since he has been a mason for 725 years.

>>44981253
>tfw Dwarf says his hammer belonged to his great great grandfather
>tfw my great great great great great grandfather is still using his

>>44980190
>be son of Macedonian king who conquered Greece
>turns out I'm really good at conquering places too
>pops would be proud
>conquer Egypt
>found a city
>obviously should be named after some kind of hero
>maybe the world's greatest leader
>oh wait that's me!
Alexandria

>>44981253
>elf giggles that he has been a mason for 725 years
>dwarf looks upon the elf's masonwork doorframe with both wonder and incredulity
>725 years and the elf is still fucking terrible at it
>barely able to carve smooth surfaces
>no understanding of angles or symmetry
>carved from sandstone
>the fucking thing isn't even square

>>44981362
Somewhere there is a meeting room where a Dwarf and an Elf are rubbing their temples as they try to compromise on a blueprint.

>Look, the fountain is there because it makes the energy in the room flow much more-
>Are ye fookin daft! If we get rid of the fountain, we can condense the whole thing down by 7%! That's money on the fookin table!
>And I'm telling you, ambiance is just as important as symmetry!
>You take that back right now, or I'll smash yer fookin teeth in!

>>44981450
So are they talking about, like, magical geometry in the architecture and shit or is this just an aesthetic argument?

>>44981527

With fucking Elves it's all the same.

>>44981542
Basically

>>44981542
I mean, given their tremendous ability in creating magical artifacts and all, I assume dwarves would also be competent at turning magical forces to their benefit in a similar but larger-scale way by such methods if that's a kind of thing that's possible.

>>44981583

Dwarves would obviously lace their architecture with magically potent ores and minerals. Elves would go the hippy dippy bullshit route with trees and weeds and poppy flowers.

>>44981583
No, they just do a bunch of stupid shit.
>I'm five feet tall on a good day
>better make this ceiling FOUR HUNDRED FEET TALL
>I need some kind of decoration for this doorway
>I know! I'll make it MY FACE, EATING EVERYONE THAT GOES IN
>This smithy needs a forge
>I'll just put the anvil in the middle of the room and SURROUND IT IN EXPOSED LAVA

>>44981583
Now we're getting into a what if thing, and that's never gonna end

>>44981629

Don't even pretend all that shit you just said isn't bitchin as hell.

>>44979953
This
>>44980007
or just unimaginative descriptions of locations
"Long Point"
"Deep Lake"
"Witch Wood"
"High Peak"

>>44981672
Dwarf detected

>>44980507
And Lake Tahoe also known as Lake "lake"

>>44981728
I bet he has a long beard, too

>>44979953
>'So, what'd ye call ye Spearbacked Fireglider?'
>'Uh, you mean Red Dragons?'
>'Wait, I thought 'dem swamp dwellin' things wit' the acid snot were dragons.'
>'Oh, those are Black Dragons.'
>'And the swimmin' snakes wit' a breath like a hurricane?'
>'Water dragons.'
>'By me beard! Next ye be tellin' me those wriggly flyers wit' fish scales an' pearls are Flyin' Fish Dragons a' summin!'
>'Oh, goodness no. Those are just Dragons.'

>>44979953
They would most likely stereotype humans as naming everything based on it's use or the first person to see it, including their own offspring.

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>>44981527
>>44981583
>Elven knowledge of mana flows and magical geometry, combined with dwarven material studies and runes would make the most beautiful, sturdiest and comfortable buildings
>Too bad making them work together is as pointless as herding cats
How delightfully tragic.

I need more dwarf / elf banter

this is my fetish

>>44980607
>And I swore upon his grave...
>someday I'll make things right.

John Smith.

Boring, non individual names that aren't fruity like Elves but they aren't practical like Dwarves.

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>>44983936
>So I learned how to bend steel
>I learned how to make it move

>>44979953
whens the last time a dwarf or an elf named ANYTHING??? back to your 500 year old holes and 500 year old trees you stagnant fucks.

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>>44981013
its called independence day you stupid ignorant fucking bastard HAHAHAHAHHAHA

>>44984095
thats fair

how do you explain 9/11 though

although i suppose that is a hard one to name some people say twin tower attacks but that forgets the pentagon attacks

and twin tower and pentagon attacks just sounds weird

>>44984118
that said although it was a fair point there was no need to be such an arshole about it.

>>44984118
That brings up an interesting idea though.

People above have ragged on naming battles after the location but how many options are there really? I mean, if you think about it, you can name it for the belligerents or the location and... what else? Any suggestions? Im worldbuilding and I want to have a few noted historical battles that dont have shitty names.

>>44984061
>and I watched as it withstood
>all the hell we put men through

Human wizards are suicidal in their pursuit of knowledge

Elf wizards are slow and delicate, obtaining pearls of arcane expertise one at a time

What are dwarf wizards like?

What are halfling wizards like?

>>44984155
>natural/magical events happening
Battle of the red moon, of the bloody river, of the endless night
>important characters involved
Chief Drath'nor's first raid, King Mark's downfall, Sun Emperor daunting charge
>some important characteristic or result of the battle
Last stand of x, annihilation of y, battle of z uprising
>more recently, cool unrelated names
D-day or operation rolling thunder

idk faM

>>44984118
I dont explain it, everything in this thread is a bad idea, people name things after dates because its easy to remember, NOT because its hard to come up with some fruity name. 9/11 was named 9/11 because it happened on 9/11. What would you have thought if they named it some enigmatic shit like "the day of tragedies" or something gay.

Furthermore no single person was like "call it 9/11" people started referring to it as so for obvious reasons and it stuck. Lets say some faggot in California comes up with a really dope name for it whiles its happening; day of duo tower destruction or some shit. so what.

>>44984350
>What are dwarf wizards like?
Cast spells drunk. Burn beard. Kill self in shame.

>What are halfling wizards like?
Make wacky magical inventions until one backfires and explodes in their face.

>Human wizards are suicidal in their pursuit of knowledge
1/5 survives the magical training. Remember the apprentices you get in the Planar Sphere in Baldur's Gate? Kinda like that. Most humans also blow themselves up in the process.

>>44984155
Aside from sides and location, the most common are cause and objective.

War of Independence, War of Secession, Holy War. Some have special names, like the Crusades.

Other than that... Yeah, faction names seem to be the most common thing.

>>44980209
Shit, humans even name animals after themselves. Harris's hawk? Fuck you, Harris, that hawk was here first.

>>44984374
>Make wacky magical inventions until one backfires and explodes in their face.
That would be gnomes, anon, not halflings.

Halflings learn to conjure food and wine and then decide they've learned everything they need.

>>44980618
Aren't there more Alexandria's than that?

>>44981153
>>44981253
>>44981297
>>44981362
>>44981450
>Dwarves and elves think they so fucking great
>im in a tavern barding away, covered in chicks
>a generation later world is filled with bard-borne half-breeds
>i outfucked a dragon

>>44984515
Add tobacco and you're right.

>>44984530
Wikipedia says at least 18 founded/renamed by Alexander himself, and there are a load of others around the world

>>44984237
>With hands of iron
>There's not a task
>We couldn't do

>>44984555
>A generation later, your dead because your human
>Two generations later, all of your off spring have mostly died off, and their children have once again bred with elves and dwarfs, further removing your blood line.
>eight generations later, humanity is just a mish mass of dwarves and elves, all claiming to be "half-breeds" when in reality they are almost the exact same as the other races
>ten generations later, the elf and the dwarf are STILL having a bitch fit over this>>44981450 while the new "Humanity" conquers the world.

You see, out breeding only works when the other side isn't fucking immortal and can fuck at their own pace. Those harlots you laid with are probably still alive even now, and are fucking your grand children.

>>44980175
We shall erect a monument and name it Anonsthread

Everybody here forgot that if people think a place is scary they'll name it "devil's ___" or some variant thereof

>>44986693
Guess what, your genes get diluted no matter what your offspring procreates with. Not a single fuck given.

>>44986974
Sometimes humans get clever with this shit though.

Fucking Greenland.

>>44988055
At the time it was discovered Greenland was temperate. They grew grapes.

>>44988595
You're thinking of Vineland. Greenland was purposefully given a nice name to get settlers to go there.

>>44981975
Or Mojave Desert, meaning "very windy desert".

Even Grand Canyon. Fuck, we couldn't do anything better than big canyon? Death Valley? Lake Superior (Biggest Lake)?

>>44984368
This is why names are so lame. People are so asshurt about the very idea of modifying or adding words to the English language, that they'd rather give shit obvious names than just add a new fucking word for the thing they just found.

Imagine if we were that lazy way back in the day. We name a tree "tree", then look at the fruit and go "ah fuck it, we'll just call it a treehang".

No proper names, no specific terms. Everything is just a combination of generic concepts.

>>44990591
That´s German.

Glove is Handschue, "hand shoe".
Plane is Flugzeug, "fly thing".
Airport is Flughafen, "fly nest" or something similar.

I both love and hate this fucking language.

>>44991049

>Plane is Flugzeug, "fly thing".
>fly thing

that's hilarious. do they call cars "drive things"?

>>44991049
>That´s German.
Makes sense. English is a Germanic language, which means we came from it.

I guess I should be happy that someone at some point decided "nah, we can come up with something better than handshoe". I just hope we start doing that with the things I love in my lifetime. Like video games and roleplaying games (seriously folks, now that we're bringing it up it's time we own up to the fact that we're ALL too damn lazy).

>>44991049

German and Japanese are both bad (good?) for "don't have a word for something? Take two or more words you do have and mash them together!" German wins out by virtue of taking long-ass polysyllabic words and gluing them to other even longer words to dramatic effect. My personal favorite is backpfeifengesicht, roughly "a face in dire need of a fist".

>>44991239

The TLA, portmanteau, and backronym have replaced novel naming. The pace of culture change is too fast for us to give too many fucks about any one thing.

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>>44991049
>Glove is Handschue, "hand shoe".
German is a ridiculous tongue

>>44990525
Death Valley is alright.

>>44981450
I love the idea of them going to war over aesthetics.

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>>44991500
EFFICIENCY!

>>44991049
this is truly a glorious language

>>44980190
Νοwhere near enough.

>>44984061
>>44984237
Well, gents, you just convinced me to discover the Protomen.
So far, not disappointed.

>>44991049
>>44990591

I mean it's not that bad a scheme from a pragmatic standpoint. The easiest way of conveying the concept of what something is is describing what it does or the components that make it up. It gives both visual and practical aspects of the object you're describing.

>motorcycle
>footrest
>armchair
>roadmap
>longsword
>backpack
>classroom

It also makes translating things between languages easier.

>>44992731
Fireplace

>>44992731
Hand shoe though? HAND SHOES? What kind of people see a glove and think "this is like a shoe, but for your hands!". Even hand sock would make more sense.

>>44992983
Well, the differences between shoes and work gloves from back in the day are pretty negligible. They'd both be made from tough materials and may have some kind of even tougher material on one side. A leather glove with a reinforced palm for handling rough shit and a leather shoe with a reinforced sole could both be made in the exact same workshop with nothing but a different pattern.

>>44992731
>It also makes translating things between languages easier.
But it makes learning a language harder. Distinct terms, or at the very least words built from obvious interlinking syllabic components, make for an easy-to-learn language. English is hard because it's chock-full of a horrible salad of altered loanwords, misspelled portmanteaux, odd contractions (am not=ain't) and contradictory spelling rules (i before e, except after C... of course I'm lying right THEIR*).

* How long until someone ignores this spoiler and has an autism fit about this part?

>>44981629
What happened to the dwarves that made something so bitching a goddess wanted it, so they got to gangbang the goddess in payment?

Or the dwarves who liked a skald so much they killed him and made his blood into magic mead so that they could have his skill?

The dwarves tha covet beautiful things, are swarthy and lecherous, the ones like maggots in the flesh of dead giants, given sentience by the gods? I miss those dwarves.

I miss those dwarves.

This thread made me have a giggle.

>>44991385
>backpfeifengesicht, roughly "a face in dire need of a fist".
>backpfeifengesicht, roughly "a face in dire need of a fist".
>backpfeifengesicht, roughly "a face in dire need of a fist".

I think I might take up German just for this.

>>44993224
Go back to sleep,Jormungandr.*
It's not the time of Ragnarök yet.
* Or Midgardsormr, I forget which is supposed to be the "more correct" name.

>>44993165
you know as much as english is said to be a hard language to learn it seems to have the most distinct alphabet other alphabets look really hard to tell one character from another

of course thats probably just me finding what i grew up with easier more then any actual extra level of distinctness over others.

Someone archive this shit.

>>44993702
It helps that you learned how to speak English as a child, with a blank mind unimpeded by assumptions that a person already fluent in one native tongue might have.

That's the real reason kids are better than adults at learning languages. They aren't stuck in the linguistic rules of their own language, confused about how to learn new linguistic rules.

>>44993767
indeed

i really regreat not paying more attention in Japanese class back in primary school or more accurately put more effort into it

it was odd that i dident put much effort into it though given how much of a massive fucking weeb i was at the time.

English is the only language that I know of that has triple and quadruple contractions in regular use. You'dn't've and I'dn't've are both things I hear pretty regularly.

>>44993886
I've never heard either of those before. Seems awkward, since there's no indication whether the 'dn't is a wouldn't, couldn't, or shouldn't, when it matters.

>>44993702
it's probably just growing up with it, I mean look at "i" and "l", or even worse capital "I", "q" and "p" are really hard if you're learning and actively have to remember which one goes which way, and so many characters are just one line apart, "E" "F", 'c', 'o;

>>44980828
>sometimes they all name them after the same feature
>these areas are usually left alone

>>44993958
One of my favorite quadruple contractions is "I'ma", which is short for "I am going to".

As in "I'ma be right back".

>>44993973
yeah those examples pretty much confirm your probably right.

>>44993702
It also helps that a lot of languages use the same alphabet (latin).
Although I'd say the Greek alphabet is pretty close in similarity, followed by the Cyrillic..

>>44994003
I'll admit I use that one.

>>44993886
Can you tell the people you live near to please stop talking with a mouth full of oatmeal

I grew up reading a lot of my grandma's old books (That I think she got from her grandparents or great-grandparents), so I had to learn how to read long s and a few other oddities that modern english doesn't really use, and let me tell you, ſ is a really pointless pseudo-letter. I'm glad we stopped using it.

>"That is Margo's Mountain, where the evil dragon Margoroth dwells. The Dwarves call it Ruby Ridge, and shun it as if cursed. The Elves call it Bloodfang Peak, but only in whispers".
>"What do the Xix'zix call it?"
>"Three short manidble clicks, two long clicks, and a squirt of fear pheromone, if memory serves."

>>44994064
See? It's more common than you think. English is a very confusing language, mostly because of its existence as the largest second-language on the planet. It has been for basically several hundred years now... and that's really fucked it up.

>>44994150
Sorry, let me fix that.
>I grew up reading a lot of my grandma's old books (That I think ſhe got from her grandparents or great-grandparents), ſo I had to learn how to read ſ and a few other oddities that modern engliſh doeſn't really uſe, and let me tell you, ſ is a really pointleſs pſeudo-letter. I'm glad we ſtopped uſing it.

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>>44994182
Insectoid languages are the best.

>>44993886
>You'dn't've and I'dn't've
Where the fuck do you live?
I live in the middle of backwoods Georgia and I've never heard that

>>44994234
Somewher in the arse-end of Britbong land, I would surmise.

>>44993886
>Smokey Mountain talk
>English
That entire range is speaking a whole other tongue, and you can't convince me otherwise

>>44979953
>Bob's house
Humans like short names. Preferable with some non-poetic entity like House or Road.
>That-fat-king-town
Humans only live like what, 200-300 years? They name things after some human who died so long time ago that no human remember him. Well, I remember him! He was a fat jerk and he won a bet and got to name the town.
>Oh-shit-we-don't-speak-that-language-anymore City
Another problem with humans is that they just can't have a standard language, so every 500 years they forget half of the vocabulary. "London? Yeah, probably some fancy latin name for bridge." Wrong you wee man, I remember when they named the city, it means "stink swamp".

>>44994202
So you could say... they'dn't've fucked up the language so much if the Britbongs had just kept it to themselves?

>>44981013
>>Battle happens near a town? Battle of [Town Name]
What the hell else would you name them? The battle between the Duke of Wellington and Napoleon?

>>44994234
>I live in the middle of backwoods Georgia and I've never heard that
Actually, you probably have. Believe it or not, most people don't even notice their native accents and dialects, nor signature terminology.

I never realized I used the word "bro" like a cliche California douche until I heard myself on recorder. Then I stopped.

Your mind naturally fills in the gaps. So when someone says these contractions, effectively just omitting the vowel sounds, your brain instinctively fills in that empty space with the sound you expect.

This is why those shitty Facebook memes with the misspelled words are easily read. The difference between the correct spelling and misspelling is so miniscule that your brain can automatically correct things.

It's fucking smart like that.

>>44994212
pointless wouldn't have the second s and pseudo wouldn't use it, or wouldn't have the p. That was the era of an extremely phonetic alphabet and spelling.
Probably where quite a few thorns to I would imagine.

>>44984555
Reminds me of my DnD party. So we decided to claim the entire party were siblings or half siblings of the same human philanderer.

>>44994373
The ſ is literally only used for lower-case s at the beginning or middle of words. Words with two "s" at the end go ſs.

>>44994234
>Where the fuck do you live?

Yonder

>>44994373
But that's wrong
"purfuit of happinefs" is pronounced exactly the same as "pursuit of happiness", and no amount of comedy at Benjamin Franklin's expense can change that.

>>44994581
Why did those show up as f? Damn you unicode!

>>44994696
I still find it hilarious that the ſ/f confusion managed to screw up at least one of Shakespeare's works.

>>44991049
actually, flughafen is fly port, which is about the same amount of silly.

>>44984358
The whole "cool unrelated names" thing is for intelligence. If a foreign agent hears you talking about "our planned invasion of Normandy to take place in late May or early June," then you're fucked. If they see a requisition order that references "Operation Overlord," then they have to do a lot more digging to figure out what you're talking about.

Actually, you get some interesting stuff coming from operation names. The brits in WWII were fastidious about codenames. All names came from a list of random words, were reused after a period of 2 months, and if the word had absolutely anything to do with the operation itself the name was nixed.

The Germans, on the other hand, sucked at this. The planned invasion of England was named Operation Sealion. The invasion would have taken place from the sea, and the symbol of England is the lion. Nazi intelligence was actually laughable in many respects, but that's a different matter.

>>44995155
"the world is wide, and intelligent thought will readily supply an unlimited number of well-sounding names which do not suggest the character of the operation or disparage it in any way and do not enable some widow or mother to say that her son was killed in an operation called "Bunnyhug" or "Ballyhoo."
Churchill had some pretty good ideas about operation names.

>>44995155
Yeah but, on the other hand, the operation to invade the USSR was named Barbarossa. Not exactly a name you'd associate with possibly the biggest land-slog war in history.
Also not sure if related, but Operation:Save the Italians from being tossed into the Mediterranean by the Greeks was named operation Marita.
Nazi intelligence (particularly cryptography, or at least engineering thereof) as a whole was among the foremost in Europe (don't forget Enigma). Mostly it was just sloppy OPSEC doctrine that did them in (as in the case that resulted in the breaking of the Enigma- see the movie The Imitation Game for details, and also because that movie was fucking great.)

>>44981013
>Cinco de Mayo is the founding of Mexico

No, whitey. No, it isn't.

>>44995345
>Barbarossa
>Not giant land slog
Okay buddy. Barbarossa was perhaps the most powerful emperor the HRE ever had. His army would have crushed the muslims, and it is said the only thing that Saladin feared was Barbarossa. Then he drowned and half his army just up and went home.

>>44995579
I love this about ultra emperor figures. They die, and most of the time it all falls apart and people go "well that's that then", and whatever plan they had just poofs into so much dust and squabbling.

>>44979953

Shithole
RaftDrown
This One Bloke's Area
Wheredidmytowngo-slicedpigproducts
Location-bacon
Geographicfeature-beefsteak
Town City
City Town
Onlymostlyflammable-lambchop
SomebodyelseusedtoliveherebutnowIdohahahaha-tofuburger

>>44995579
I do believe that Barbarossa was better known as Kaiser Fredrick the 1st. The pirate, on the other hand...

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>>44995672
>they mock humans but take the time to note every town and what food they make good

I'm on to you, elves. You crave our cuisine and CLEARLY mark places for food tourism later.

>>44995606
Well it s almost unavoidable, given the conditions that are usually required for their rise and tenure.
They will almost always come from a weak or fractious state, and then somehow procede to dominate and bring them into line by sheer force of will, charisma, and possibly even skill. So instead of a long slow build up of power through legalism, you got power just being held onto by a guy who won't let go. When they die, the state naturally reverts back to it's old way of being.

>>44979953
I think the most suitable human stereotype would be that it's not worth learning what humans name things because before the century is over it'll have a new name anyway, because they either forgot the name or killed each other over the right to put a new name on it.

>>44995846
I can see that happening, and elitism from some other longer lived races about how "Well this place had THIS name before so it's the real name even if we don't even occupy those lands anymore"

Or something absurd like some mad dwarf emperor taking the task to name every single mountain in the world on some crusade to mark it as property for his empire.

Every race has a culinary specialty, a penchant for a certain type of food.

What is it?

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>>44996796
You'd have to do it by culture per race. You can't fuck with food like that, it'd be like asking what your favorite Human Food is. I guess you could assign eating habits by biology and general locale. But holy hell, there is too much food and variety to just go "Welp them elves sure do like them a salad"

>>44996796
>humans
Breads, sandwiches, deli meats, ciders and liquors
>dwarves
roasts, pies (meat and fruit) and lagers
>elves
wines, dried/candied fruits, jerky/dried meats, marinades
>orcs
BBQ, nuts, spices, ales
>Halflings/gnomes
stews, pastries, tubers

>>44996796
Dwarves are meat-eaters par excellence
Elves are faggot vegans, but they make magical liquors and even it up
Humans have no set specialty, but they make the most fucked-up-yet-tasty stuff in the land.

Seriously, there's no limit to what humans consider "edible". If it exists, someone has a recipe for it. Including fellow humans.

>>44994296
Kek

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You wanna cook for a dryad? Of course you do you witless uncultured fuck. Here's a protip: set out some raw meat and a stinking big pitcher of fermented miracle-gro. There, you are now goddamned Alton Brown.

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Next you got elves. Want to fuck an elf up but good and leave them smiling for it? Get some sort of ultra carb and fats heavy dish. Elves LOVE bread, shit is crack for them. Take an elf to a prominent city bakery, and watch those ears start to flitter like they were trying to eat the aromas.

I mean, they've evolved to survive in heavy forests and the like, they're essentially birds in diet. Very small amounts of food at a time, lots of fruits and nuts and plants and roots. So grains and heavy fats, that sort of agricultural stuff, shit is practically like a drug trip.

I mean yeah it's BAD for them, but only about two or three times worse than it is for a human, and only if they eat like that every day like some chunklord.

>>44980486
But what mountains are Appalachians?

>>44984350
Humans ain't got time to be slow and shit
They don't even live a tenth as long as elves
Why do you think humans are the only ones that print history books?

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Dwarves are a whole other bag. You want to know the ONE thing that people are able to bond with dwarves about? Beer. That's it. Why is that? Because dwarf physiology and diet is fucking insane is why.

You got a bunch of little assholes, suspiciously evolved from rocks and god knows what else, living in a dark underground and on hills. You know what they sustain themselves on? ANYTHING. Anything you wouldn't think to touch. Slap an angler fish in front of a dwarf, and he'll say dinner is served. Dwarves are hot and heavy on the fungus, insects, fish, soups, and rocks.

Yes, rocks. No, they don't literally eat them. Dwarves are evolved, though, to be able to derive some nutrition from rocks, especially ones from mossy and mineral-rich places. You ever see a dwarf sucking on a jawbreaker? That's just a chunk of rock he's suckin' the minerals out of for a little boost. It's half of how they get by on such a weird diet. Some dwarves even got rocks they grind up to use like a seasoning.

Point is, cooking for a dwarf is a nightmare. They're picky the same way a starving tiger it picky about tofu. They want what they want, and pushed all their culinary creativity into soups and alcohols. But they're hardy as hell; dwarves will gladly eat shit they're not 'supposed' to, and some have become crazy good chefs for other races, because at the end of the day a craft is a craft, and dwarves craft good.

If you want to win a dwarf? Candy. Especially chocolate. They have a sweet tooth that'd give a faerie diabetes.

>>44997956
In some parts of the world, humans eat dried clay for their mineral intake.

Also I always wonder where dwarves get their beer when most people make them 100% underground based.

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>>44998093
That's easy. Dwarf beer is NOT human beer, or elf beer. Well, elves do mostly all fruit or plant based anything for alcohol, and use lots of magic, to make some wicked wine and cocktails.

Dwarves make their beer from the fungus, moss, minerals, soups, and other things. It's not so much 'beer' as 'insane drug cocktail and fermented maggot squeezins'. It resembles beer, tastes really damn good, fucks up most other races, making it premium and popular ESPECIALLY since dwarves know it fucks up other races (for a dwarf it's just plain old alcohol with a small variety of other effects that can, on average, be summed up as a mild focus and creativity booster).

Genuine dwarf-made craft beers are very costly, constantly on the verge of being banned as psychedelic contraband in more conservative or dwarf-hating area of the world, and come in a rainbow variety depending on the locale and ingredients used.

Which means the real madness happens when dwarf beer makers set up a supply run and establish themselves in a surface city, and mix techniques from other races. That's actually how dwarves got the rep; dwarf beer is its own thing, but you're thinking of dwarves adapting human, elf, and orc styles to make some crazy good regular beers and alcohols.

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Orcs, you're going to find, are basically like humans to the second power. This is because orcs have a sense of taste and smell to rival most apex predators, and stomachs that have been compared to a cast iron meat grinder that's been set on fire.

So orcs like it. They LOVE it. 'It' being anything with a strong flavor profile. Especially meat. That whole manflesh thing? Yeah, humans taste like the best bacon you've ever had. We're ignoring racial conflicts here though.

Orcs love a diet with lots of meat, savory foods, spices, and sauces. This is actually some of the problem; orcs don't know or care to dial it down for other races, leaving their food tasting extreme or outright bizarre. But for an orc who DOES know how to dial it back, you'll experience meat dishes strong enough to put hair on the ass of a vestal nun. Incredible uses of pepper, honey, meat juices, spices, hardy vegetables, the works. Orcs are also famous for turning dangerous or strange creatures into really good steaks.

But again, back to square one, most orcs are happier to just eat shit straight up. Smack down a pound of raw meat and a fine made 5-star burger in front of an orc, and both will be gone and he'll be happy either way. Get an orc who wants to explore the flavor profiles though, and has the patience for it, and you're exploring carnivore culinary frontiers you didn't think possible. Why do you think so many frontier inns and war parties have a group of orcs manning the kitchen? They know how to cook shit that'll keep you moving.

>>44980259
>>44980387

World of Warcraft Scottish Dwarves please leave.

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>>44997956
>>44998093
>Some dwarves even got rocks they grind up to use like a seasoning.
thats pretty weird

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>>44999210
>he thinks Dwarves having a scottish accent is a Warcraft thing

>>44999271
Well yes, but most people don't enjoy mica, ruby, or certain kinds of granite.

>>44995043
Airport though

>>44987959
He means racial proginy. As in all your offspring after a certain point are over 90% elf or dwarf, so you didn't do dick.

Well you did. It just wasn't immortal dick

>>44980209
After demselves idn't even jokin.
Ah met a human de odda day an e says es name is Antony junior. Ah asked what the junior part meant, ah hadn't eard that one bufore, an e says it means es named after his fadder, also Antony!

Den ah ask im is son's name, an e says Antony III!

Is madness, ah tells ya.

>>44980486
And a lot of them are just adjectives or descriptive nouns, in old forgotten languages.

William. Peter. Sarah.

Though some of them still use their own language, the stuff outside of Europe, places like Japan or Africa.

Especially interesting are the tribals. "Man afraid of his horses"

>>44982218
Yet jus jealous cas ye cannae grow one, ya babyface limpwristed beanpole.
Or are ya a lady, I can never tell, especially since ya all dress tha same.

>>44983323
>Too boring and practical for gnomes
>not enough explosions, rube goldberg, or salvaged parts for goblins
>>halfling craftsmanship
>>orcs building permanent structures not meant to be disassembled and moved to the next war zone in as little time as possible, to save time for more war


>humans are the only things willing to learn both styles from the crafting masters, but have only a hobbled understanding of either, and a lifespan too short to make anything of real value.

>>44996976
>orcs have learned of the abundant spices and salt that they sit on in the plains
>within three generations, several prosperous tribal republics have set up, shipping exotic spice across the whole continent
>orcs as Indian-Arabic analouge

>>44993886
We value our time. Why say five words when you can say two?

>>44984350
>80-100ys maximum to learn the entire universe, then actually do something worthwhile with it

It's not suicidal, it's a reckless blitzkrieg, the closest thing I can manage to a reasonable research schedule.

>>44991049
Schildkreute was always one I found interesting.

>>44997582
Except you've forgotten that forests house plenty of birds, rabbits, deer, and other game to hunt and eat.

I keep seeing this idiocy of elves being hippy vegans when they are still excellent bow users. If they dont hunt meat, what the fuck do they use their bows on in the forest?

>>44992276
Knowing minor amounts of German, I actually understood this. The main thing is knowing where to break the words apart. Etymology and self-defining words is so much easier in this language.
All our American buildong bricks equivalents have to be like, half Greek half french or something.

>>45001793
>Half-Greek
You have no idea how right you are.

>>45001789
>If they dont hunt meat, what the fuck do they use their bows on in the forest?

They attack nosy humans, of course.

>>44996976
>>44996796
i relate them to real world cuisines. if not the same then they're at least similar

>Humans
english or italian
>Dwarves
german or russian
>Elves
french
>Orcs
spanish mexican or any kind of hispanic cuisine
>halflings
dutch or scandinavian
>gnomes
idk why i like the idea of gnomes eating chinese food

>>44994234
You probably use "wouldn'ta" instead.

>>44997147
Damnit Maple, calm down!

Though my favorite post of that thread was the one about the BLT.

>>45001789
Strange, I didn't realize elves could make cheese from rabbits and birds.

>>44995155
>symbol of England is the lion
THEY AREN'T EVEN NATIVE

>>45001964
What? What the fuck does that have anything to do with meat?

>>44995846
>>44995890

https://youtu.be/vsQrKZcYtqg

>>44996796
Thri-keens - elf, raw.

>>44997582
>fat, diabetes elves
This is singly one of the most hilarious visual concepts I think I've come across.

>>44999210
1) Scottish Dwarves aren't from Warcraft
2) Warcraft races are actually pretty rad. I mean they fucked every sense of the game, but most of the races were spot on

>>44997582
>Feeding elves bread like feeding ducks
Kek

>>45002034
Probably the fact meat isn't even mentioned in what was written?

>>44997956
>literal stone soup
Topkek

>>45001883
Chinese gnomes sounds delightfully racist.

>>45001789
I will agree in terms of hunting, but I'm also saying definitely no domesticated animals, and hunting is done on an as-necessary basis, meaning anywhere with civilization it's not a staple. They are omnivores, but typically only eat meat in survival situations.
It certainly wouldn't be part of their high cuisine.

>>45001883
High elves might be french.
Wood elves wouldn't remotely be. Can't swim everything in butter with no livestock.

>>45002163
>2) Warcraft races are actually pretty rad. I mean they fucked every sense of the game, but most of the races were spot on
Warcraft's trolls are probably the best way any setting (other than Discworld maybe) has ever done trolls, the whole blood sacrificing Aztec thing is pretty underused and the fact that they're the distant ancestors of the elves is also a neat twist

>>44998643
My next D&D character is going to be an orc chef who cooks all the people he ends up killing, just because of this. He will try and feed them to his fellow party members, too.

>Stupid wizard act like Grunk orclings. Not try new food.

>>44981104
>>44981013

Cinqo de Mayo is the celebration of the Mexican victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862

Mexican independence is September 16th

Guys... why has no one mentioned the obvious one: Earth?

>>45003111
Because what about it?

>>45002368
How do you know that? Maybe they have special herds of deer that they take care of which are allowed to roam semi free and that they will kill for special celebrations or are even just a domesticated variety that is common to their lands?

They might have giant corrals made of living plants that have the same effect as a human's corral for cows but which is disguised to mimic the natural landscape. They live in harmony with nature, that doesn't mean they don't use all of its resources, including the animals.

Once again, people seem to be weirdly applying hippy vegan from Cali to elves when that isn't ever mentioned within their descriptions in any media I'm aware of.

>>45003338
Or people are being creative and making shit up for fun and you got some weird hangups about the idea of "elves in woods eat mostly stuff in the woods, pasta and other agricultural staples are exotic to them"

And a 'hippy vegan elf' wouldn't be hunting small game, and they wouldn't enjoy pasta and cheese (made with dairy).

What the hell are you even arguing?

>>45002774
It's also the only victory they had in the war. all other battles ended with overwhelming French victories.

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>Fantasy America-alike which has shitloads of food from races/cultures around the world, but lots of places in it that also has cheap knockoff shit versions of said elf/dwarf/thri-kreen/whatever cuisine

>>45003376
Not him, but following the vegan stereotype is the opposite of being creative

>>45003708
Thri-kreen cuisine is other people

>>45004057
Only elves. They don't count.

>>45004049
Yeah? Which is what I said. The elves were clearly not 'vegan hippies' if the other post says they love the hell out of cheese and fats. Hunting game and eating lightly doesn't make you a vegan, or a hippy.

If anything the minotaurs are gonna be the vegan hippy vegetarians.

>>45002404
would wood elves even matter in this? Their cuisine would probably be like any other tribal or hunter/gatherer society. Tarantulas, Grubs, fruits, turtles and the occasional boar or deer

>>45004089
Breads, cheeses and meats being exotic implies they don't have it normally, which would leave them with a vegetarian diet

>>44998643
With this I can see Orcs being big fans of cuisine from the more pungent side of human cookery. Korean and Indian come to mind.

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>harpy cuisine

Never again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXXQqj-4m5c

>>45003708
>>45004057
>>45004081
>Athas Fried Elf
>Dubiously Legal
>Definitely Delicious!

>>44995579
Actually Barbarossa wasn't such a great emperor, he was pretty medicore but the revinionist history telling of the 18. and 19. century blew him up to be the amazing emperor we know today. His revisionistic history was used for propaganda back in the 2. Reich

>>44980007
This. Rather than humans building or crafting something that can actually be described as awesome, they just go to a mountain and name it after themselves. Stealing credit from Mother Nature? Dick move

>>44981975
We have a lake in my country called laguna.

>>44980007
That and sometimes they tag "ington" on the end

>>44979953
I'd say the stereotype is more that elves and dwarves are, for some reason, naming everything to pander to humans.

"Your name for this mountain is literally just 'the mountain' in dwarvish? Why?"
"'Cuz the humans think it sounds cool."

>>44980007

Came here to say this. And failing naming it after themselves, usually naming it after a color or just stealing superior dwarf or elf names.

>>44991049
German is the Lego of languages.

>>45005687
>dwarves and elves putting in random Human words into spoken/sung Dwarven and English to sound cool
Sometimes I really hate East Asian music.

Ok so in English, if I wanted to have a conversation in public about a private topic, I would obscure the object noun with vague words.
>Hey, did you do the thing we talked about?
>You mean the thing with the guy?
>Yeah, that thing.
But apparently in Japanese, to accomplish the same effect you eliminate the object noun altogether. Usually we translate it as "that", as in "We'll have to use 'that'! " but an exact translation would be
>Hey, did you do?
>You mean?
>Yeah.
Any other languages do something similar

>>44981450

>elves build mostly log cabins and treehouses
>They have to hoist a dwarf into a tree to see where their building is gonna be
>They introduce the dwarf architech to every tree they cut down before they make any plans
>They introduce the dwarf to all the trees around the build site to make sure the trees are okay with it.
>They introduce the dwarf to every forest creature to be sure the construction noises and dwarf does not scare them
>First month done and nothing but introductions have been made.
>dwarf kills self from sheer frustration, by jumping out of their "building foundation"
>After 2 year long funeral get anouther dwarf builder. Same process repeats.

>>44993165
Ain't actually isn't a proper English word, unless it's recently bludgeoned its way into the dictionary.

Although typing this out reminded me, why the fuck did we shorten "it is" to it's instead of "tis"? We already have the word its for possessives

>>45008107
Probably because tis makes you sound like a tosser, and avoiding tosserhood is most of the reason things get changed in English.

>>44984350
Dwarf Wizards turn Wood into Gold, Usually Heal, use Magic Shields, or lay some kind of Magical Trap
Halfling Wizards are Practical. They use Farming Magic like Water and Earth Spells.and they use Basic Spells like Levitation and Portals Opening.

>>45001970
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion

Lions used to be WAY more plentiful. I believe England had lions at one point.

Emphasis on had.

>>45008166
Tis only makes you sound like a tosser because tisn't used anymore.

>>45008107
I thought that back in the day, "ain't" used to be technically correct, but only as a contraction for "am not." But reading here, it seems it's more complicated.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain%27t

Anyway, it's always been in the dictionary, it's just generally been listed as nonstandard English.

>>45004089
Frankly, having elves "live at harmony" with nature and primarily eat through forage-gained food would mean they probably never develop advanced society or technology. Human advanced civilization only started with the advent of agriculture, and once wolves started i hanging out with us to become dogs, kicking off animal husbandry.

>>44994182
How does one click long?

>>45009143

Tongue at the front of your palette = short click
Tongue at the back of your mouth = long click
Tongue at the back of someone else's mouth = lewd click

>>44986693
>Those harlots you laid with are probably still alive even now, and are fucking your grand children.

You have no idea how happy that idea makes me as a human man.

>>44991385
>>44992731
Compound words aren't really particularly uncommon, although German is one of the languages that really loves it, along with Finnish and Icelandic. In all three the rules for making a compound word boil down to (barring some exceptions) "Do you have two nouns? Mash them together!". Icelandic is one of the worst "offenders" since they mash not just nouns but the adjectives as well into a single word (Finnish grammar explictly forbids that, although German I think does it sometimes), and have a lot of polysyllabic words and characters not found in most European languages. And thus you get shit like Snæfjellsjökull (snow mountain glacier).

Japan also loves using foregeign words mangled to fit the Japanese writing system and/or making portmaneues. For example the Japanese word for skateboard is sukeitoboodo, or sukebo for short. You can also see the same trend in the names of anime series, which often tend to be shortened by fans into pormaneues (such as the anime "Girls und Panzer" being commonly referred as "Garupan" by the Japanese fans).

>>44995043
That's literally the same as what English did; airport. Literally "like a port, but with airplanes".

>>44991182
They´re usually called Auto, but "vehicle" is Fahrzeug. Literally "drive thing".

As that other anon mentions later, "Shildkreute" is also a nice one.

Schild: Shield
Kreute: Toad
Schildkreute: Tortoise
Wasserschildkreute: Turtle

I like "racoon" too. They´re called Waschbär. "Wash bear".

>>44995043
Well, in that case it´s OK, I guess. It´s just "airport".

>>45010207
By that logic, turtle should be Schildfrosch.

>>45001883
>Spanish

Not very sure with this one. Mediterranean cuisine is rather different from Mexican, for example, and it focuses on grains and fishes (grains and meat if no fish available).

I´d say dwarves fit better, if any..

>>44980190
I think almost every American State has a city or county called Alexandria.

>>45010256
The name literally means water tortoise (or water shield toad). Finnish does the exact same thing.
tortoise=kilpikonna (lit. shield toad)
turtle=merikilpikonna (sea turtle)
terrapin=vesikilpikonna (water turtle)

...I think tortoise is the land-dwelling variant and terrapin the freshwater one, although I could be getting those mixed up.
I never understood why English felt necessary to have three separate words for turtles of all things, when most people use the bloody words interchangably anyway (tortoises get referred as turtles all the time, and most people don't even remember that a terrapin is a word). Hell, the most famous tetsudines in fiction (the teenage mutant kind) are referred by the incorrect term!

>>45010400
Yes, but if a land based one is a shield toad, then a water based one should be a shield frog.

>>45010207
>Schild: Shield
>Kreute: Toad
>Schildkreute: Tortoise
>Wasserschildkreute: Turtle
That would be Kröte/Kroete, not Kreute. And the Germans usually don't distinguish between turtles and tortoises, so everything is a Schildkröte there.

>>45009470
>Tongue at the front of your palette = short click
>Tongue at the back of your mouth = long click
First, it's palate. Second, place of articulation is not the same thing as consonant quantity. I don't think there human are languages that distinguish between long and short clicks, but maybe it's a matter of catch and release.

>>44981253
elvish stonecraft is to carve out a rough impression and spend fifty years polishing it until it's smooth, then do some engraving

>>44984350
halfling wizards find something weird in the woods one day, or acquire an odd heirloom or trinket and write a couple books about it in their study, and eventually find themselves coming to understand greater aspects of the universe through the distortions they observe

>>44984555
Why is it that every chimeric monstrosity we come across is "human work."
>That lamia's eyes are a beautiful blue like Grandmother's; human work
>That satyr's fur is soft and golden brown like Ted's; human work
>That Minotaur has my own strength and grace; I know for fact that was human work.

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>>45003708
>Being a fantasy-american crusader spreading glorious fantasy-american food to those god damn commie wood-elves
>or were they high-elves?
>fuck it, they all look the same

>>45007760
It comes up more often than you think on sadpanda, and it always confused me. Thanks for the language tip, anon