Dungeon Life Quest (DLQ) 35 - Probably Updating Only At Night

>>44953714
Vox is posting? Must have finally found his moonshine.

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>>44953714
"I saved her. The proverb goes that it makes me responsible for her, but I'm a little more responsible for her than normal in this particular case," you tell Victoria, your voice soft and understanding. "No one ever became a good person by getting the evil beat out of them. And...honestly, I wouldn't have fought for Brigette if I thought she was a bad person at heart. Lost? Yes. Responsible for heinous crimes? Certainly. Evil? Not so sure."

Victoria looks down at her feet. "I could only wish she was here for you to say that."

"Wallowing, is she?"

"Like you would not believe."

"I buried an entire town by myself. I lived in the town. Try me."

Victoria winces and gives you a brittle, sympathetic smile. "Fair. Th-"

You hold your hand up. "Don't thank me yet. Actually, just don't thank me. This isn't a favor, for you or for her. This is for me." You take off your hat and set it on your knee. "This is for me not being the person I know I could become. You understand?"

"I understand," Victoria murmurs. Nathan and Scribbles come back, the Hero smiling broadly with the flush of victory high on his cheeks while the lamia scrawls furiously in her book. Amy starts serving out the breakfast while Scribbles catches up to her own listening; you take a peek, and the prose is surprisingly detailed and elaborate, and you can almost hear Nathan saying the words.

Your author friend has a good memory, it seems.

>>44953823
Hi Vox!

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>>44953823
You finish your report to Scribbles with a slightly more frank tone than you'd set off with; your mind's on other matters, and your lovers can tell. Every time you look up at Amy she's giving you a glare like she caught you with your hand in a cookie jar. You look pointedly away and wrap up your report with what you saw of the battle for the Shaft.

"Silence, Nate, and Amy could tell you more."

"I can tell you more in just a bit, actually," Amy interjects. "No-go on Nate. Bri owes him a personal day."

"I can get that," Scribbles says with a cheery nod. "Just one more thing. /One/ more thing, it's not even really work. It's just, you said if I could provide the coffee we could talk again about letting me chronicle your story, and...well, it's a hell of a story so far! I've already written a bunch from interviews with other people who were there, but I'm /dying/ to get your perspective and permission to publish. This isn't even the end, is it? There's gonna be more, I can taste it in the air."

You look at the eager face of the snake-girl and trickle smoke from your nose. "Why do you wanna write /my/ story?"

"It's history in the making! A great event of our times! The Dungeon is going to change, maybe forever, maybe just for a few years, but someone should write it down so others can know what happened and maybe learn from it. Plus," she adds, primly, "every band of brave heroes should have their adventures chronicled. That so many die without the world knowing their story is a tragedy."

> ...You know what, sure.
> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.
> No.

>>44954068
>I feel that it's a bit like necromancy. There are a couple of good reasons why we don't try too hard for everyone to know about it. Legions of undead reasons. In the same way, I may or may not have to maintain the privacy of certain people in case it becomes a problem.
>If you're fine with that, why not?

>>44954068
>> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.
We really should get her say so in the matter.

And I want a quest where for once the protag doesn't just immediately spew secrets and ignore npc feelings because of anon stupidity.

>>44954068
>> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.

>>44954068
>> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.

>>44954068
> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else
who's involved.

>>44954237
Lora

>>44954068
>> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.

>>44954246
anon, I am amused.

That was me not bothering to fix it when I hit enter.

>>44954161
Who Lora? She said Bri could say whatever she wanted to.

>>44954304
Bri also only has Victoria's word on that, and it's not unreasonable to double-check that.

On a more interpersonal note, it would also tell Lora that you care about her privacy and feelings.

Vote may be slightly extended because of me writing a thing.

>> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.

I'll admit Vox. Generally, patreon is fucking cancer. But you're the only motherfucker I've ever seen to run a fucking quest 24/7.

So should you be receiving money every month to keep up this level of commitment? Maybe.

At the very least you deserve it much more than Spoony does.

>>44954068
> I don't know; I still have to talk to someone else who's involved.
Lora deserves a say, she is the one who made this adventure possible

>>44954547
Who's spoony?

>>44954600
A broken man.

>>44954611
That's not very helpful, what does he do?

>>44954644
Take money from idiots and then produces no content.

Sometimes he vlogs about wrestling.

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SPEECH THERAPY: http://pastebin.com/VmhBkRLm

Votes called, writing.

>>44954723
>http://pastebin.com/VmhBkRLm
which of those are command words?

>>44954723
>Scatter

>>44954794
All of them.

>>44954723
>Scatter.

>>44954723
>>44954808
>Scatter

>>44954723
> Scatter

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>>44954068
"I'm not saying no," you tell Scribbles. "But I need to get back to you on that. There's others involved that I need to check with to be sure they're comfortable with me telling you their secrets, because those secrets are bound up in my story. One of them is a...a private individual. Most of the others you can ask yourself."

"Such as?" she asks curiously, tilting her head.

"River la Croix, in Split," you tell her. "Or Cherry, the ghost girl I'm helping, who's currently guesting in my family's shrine in the Lichyard. Kells in Lakehallow may want to tell the tale of becoming an undead crocodile on his own. That sort of thing. Those folks I trust you to talk to on your own; the person /I/ need to talk to you sort of can't."

"Alright," Scribbles agrees. "Get back to me when you can?"

"I will," you promise.

Breakfast is warm, filling, and /nice/. Amy and Nathan sit on either side of you, the former leaning against your shoulder while she eats.

You're starting to think Amy's afterglow is going to become a permanent feature of her facial expression.

As the meal winds down, Amy grabs Scribbles and Victoria and leads them away, chatting animately about the battle for the Shaft. You share a look with the wounded Hero and quirk an eyebrow.

"What now?" Nathan asks.

> Go for a walk
> Explore the Company Store
> Play something together
> Find someplace...private (fade to black)
> Write-in?

>>44955003
> Explore the Company Store
> Find someplace...private (fade to black)

both?

>>44955003
>> Go for a walk
>> Explore the Company Store

>>44955003
> Play something together
> Find someplace...private (fade to black)
I don't care which, but we need some ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, GENTLY DOWN THE-OHGOD, WHERE ARE WE!?

>>44955003
>> Write-in?
Let's do the battle of the shaft right here, Nate

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Alright folks, I'm gonna crawl into bed. I will /attempt/ to update in the morning but, well, see thread title - I'm not making any promises. Archiving thread now.

Questions, comments, discussion, feedback, and criticisms remain welcome and appreciated.

Thank you all for reading and participating!

>>44954547
...I'll consider it. There's factors I'd need to take into account, not least of which is certain political aspects relating to the RPG industry. Honestly, the thought makes me uncomfortable. I write for love. I don't like asking people for money.

It's nice to know folks are still having a good time though. I've felt like the threads here lately haven't been up to snuff.

>>44955140
You may write for love.

But you also love for money.

So, y'know, take my money and write me a story you slut.

>>44954723
>scatter

>>44955140
>I write for love. I don't like asking people for money.
Think of it more as people are covering your coffee bill so they can hear you tell your tale. More so an action of good will than one of profit.

>>44955003
Fuck forgot the other vote

> Play something together

>>44955003
>> Play something together
>> Find someplace...private (fade to black)

>>44955003
>> Explore the Company Store

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Thread archived, water drank, pain pills taken in anticipation of moonshine hangover, I'm going to crawl into bed and flirt with Death's brother for awhile.

Thread has been successfully archived.

>>44955241
Hrm.

>>44955175
I laughed.

And then I locked my doors, because anon's love is kinda frightening sometimes.

>>44955355
That last bit got me thinking. You know how in old magic, Naming things makes you hold power over them? Or Truenaming something, whatever. What if Anonymity, part of the Nameless, is some sort of powerful force/eldritch god simply because it hasn't been named, and never could be?
And the Anonymous are its finger-agents, *bubbles* of it.

>>44955399
Yeah, we're a powerful fucking force.

Now shut up and fear us you faggoty fucking namefag.

>>44953792
>>44955355
>moonshine hangover

called it

>>44955355
>flirt with Death's brother
WHORE

>>44955355
Sweet dreams, Bone Slut.

>>44954723
> Flee

>>44955140
>.I'll consider it. There's factors I'd need to take into account, not least of which is certain political aspects relating to the RPG industry. Honestly, the thought makes me uncomfortable. I write for love. I don't like asking people for money

RE: RPG industry politics: I know nothing about this aspect, so please don't take anything I say as commenting on that aspect, pro or con.

RE: The rest of it (esp. personal preferences): The points you make here are all quite good, but allow me to try to add an additional point to the consideration

http://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking

Ms. Palmer is approaching a somewhat different place, and from the outright opposite direction, but I think there's still enough there that's relevant to be worth linking it.

There is a difference, subtle, but still a very important one, between asking people to do something for you and permitting it. A major component of that difference has already been done: you never brought up the issue here, it was those wanting to pay who initiated and requested a means to do so. Patreon is usually used for asking, or in some cases even to an extent for demanding, payment, but just having a personal Patreon doesn't inherently constitute any such request or demand, that part comes in what you do with the Patreon link. There is an appropriate place for making regular-basis requests for payment. I understand and respect that you don't feel this is that place, and honestly, I agree, but there's also an appropriate place for granting someone's request when they are asking to be allowed to donate, and that I do believe this is an appropriate place for.

As for my votes:
>>44955003
Explore the Company Store, and find someplace to be our Private Place (Bri and Amy already have a private place together, lets find one for Bri and Nate). Then FtB.

>>44954723
Whatever our intentions were in the past, we've had enough of hurting others with the Words, even for self-defense. I don't believe the point of Lora's lesson was to teach us what Word to use to really efficiently hurt people. We shouldn't risk Commanding *them* at all.
> SPEAK to *self*. Probably either <Endure> or <Escape>

>>44957022
As I've thought more on this, I think Endure rather than Escape. Spoken in the Divine Tongue, that should ensure her survival of the situation while still allowing her to hear the attackers' grievances and discuss the issue with them, should they be willing to do so, and seems to have less backfire potential from the chance of being too busy compulsively fleeing to Revert the effects.

>>44954723
>Scatter
Seem most likely to get them gone without doing BAD THINGS

>>44955003
>Play something together
Can't just be sex ALL the time

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>>44954723
>Scater
One can only hope that the atoms obey.

>>44955399
> Bubbles

....

No, you're /not/. Are you??

Taking care of morning things, as well as some car stuff. Will update as I can.

>>44958152
Oh, don't worry, we're all *happy campers* in need of a *party*.

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>>44958152
Dear Vox. You know that double coffe you love so much? Try adding that to the water basin and making something known as Navy Coffee. Also, first time acatually reading this semi live and I would like to say thank you for making such a wonderful quest. And that you are a fucking madman for doing it like this.

Also, the next time we can revive a skeleton, let's make one of these kind.

>>44958268
I personally find triple coffe to be too bitter to drink, at least without milk.

>>44958288
Oh shit, I just realized that I left out the steps where you repeat that step about 4 more times. with some salt on the grains. Besides, it ain't gotta taste good, it just gotta keep you awake.

>>44958304
At that point, It's not the caffeine keeping you awake, but your body trying to figure out what kind of poison this is, and why the brainbox above is refusing all that seriously required puking.

>>44958333
Well, that or you hit that sweet spot in your body where you see everything forever or just the flow of time itself. Mind you it's best if you only do that once a week otherwise you will need your stomach pumped.

>>44954723
> Flee
We don't want to deal with these people. Not right now. We just want them to go away.

>>44955003
> Play something together
Being an introvert dating another introvert myself, I can attest that playing games together is good times.

Now, regarding the potential patreon, I kind of agree with all of Vox's concerns, but I also would like to donate. Hell, Vox, I'd donate in the form of supplying good coffee, in the spirit of buying the storyteller a drink, if we could figure out a way to do that that doesn't supply your address to the entire internet.

>>44954723
>endure

> Play something together

Socialising!

(And after that: "play" something together. ;P )

>>44958201

...Indy, what kind of code are you speaking to Vox with?

>>44958371
>Hell, Vox, I'd donate in the form of supplying good coffee, in the spirit of buying the storyteller a drink, if we could figure out a way to do that that doesn't supply your address to the entire internet.

New business idea: run a website like Patreon, but that mediates package deliveries instead of cash transactions. I'm too busy with other things to do it myself, so I'll just put that idea out there for anyone who wants to give it a try.

>>44958597
The kind that consumes me with fear.

>>44958624
Anyone who does this should include package screening and an "accept/decline" option. Because otherwise I could see that going very badly.

>>44954723
> Flee

>>44955003
> Go for a walk

>>44954723
>EI NATH

God damn grey tiders.

>>44958738
What?

>>44958931
It was a space station 13 joke.

>>44954723
>endure
And
>begin compression on woman whose throat we just slashed
Ask The other assailants if they're going to help same their friends life

>>44958268
We should make a skele bard. Or a semi-sentient bone mech. I will always go for it. Even Fetch sitting in a little nest in the chest, yelling out "Left, 32 degrees out, 12 degrees up" would make my life.

>>44959520
>>begin compression on woman whose throat we just slashed
>Ask The other assailants if they're going to help same their friends life

Definitely. Add this to my vote here: >>44957022

also, just noticed I forgot to greentext the main-story-arc vote from that post, so:
> What I said there about exploring the company store, but properly greentexted this time.

>>44959883
We need the boar to make a good skeleton.

I probably should have said this at the time, but write-ins were not an option on Speech Therapy; Brigette's making a reflexive decision based on the words she knows by heart.

Votes called, writing.

Votes called on Speech Therapy, writing later after I get home from work.

Okay, so two things.

Thing the first: just got the preview of the Mourners cover art, and it's looking fucking fantastic. I can't share it yet (LEGAL ISSUES) but I'll show it off when I get the chance. If everything goes well, we're looking to start the KS next month.

We also have a SECONDARY TIE. "Play something together" was the narrow victor, but "explore the Store" and "fade to black" tied in second. I'ma make an executive decision on "explore the Store" for this chunk.

Writing now.

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>>44955003
You grin at the Hero and scoot back from him a bit. "Now I teach you not to lose so shamefully to Amy at chess."

Nathan blanches. "I never had time to learn the game! Harry knew how to play but he's not confident in his game and didn't want to teach me bad habits, and then when I started -"

"Nate," you say slowly. "/Relax/. Everyone is new at things at first. So I'm gonna walk you through some of the things she's been doing to you, and then we'll move on. They have names, even."

"What's the first one?" Nathan asks, interested.

"The Fool's Mate."

"...You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself."

Nathan's a quick study with a teacher to show him what he's looking at, and the two of you talk chess and its theory for a few languid hours; it's easy to relax around one another, though you can't help but grin a little shyly whenever you look up from the board and find that affectionate look on his face.

"Quit that," you chide, looking back down at your piece.

"Not used to dating handsome Heroes?" Nathan teases.

"You don't get to use my own line against me," you complain. "I am curious as to how, y'know, earlier happened. I figured you'd still be kinda...standoffish."

Nathan wobbles his hand and moves a rook. "It...was sort of spur of the moment. As things with Amy sometimes are. I don't think either of us had intentions, but she asked if I needed help bathing and the thought running through my head was 'right, she has no taboos about that'. So I said yes."

"I see where this is -"

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>>44961154
"Don't get ahead of me," Nathan interjects. "We got to talking, is the thing. She was sitting on a little footstool next to the bath, just talking about her life in the Roost. And I knew that it was her making an effort, y'know? Like, it wasn't hard for her to talk about so much as she was looking for things she hadn't thought about in years, because she thought they'd be important to me. And it was...it was touching. So I kissed her, and things sorta. Went. From that point."

"That's /adorable/," you tell him, grinning around your pipe.

"Glad you think so," he replies, with a cough. "I kinda wanna stretch my peg a bit. Care to go somewhere?"

You stare flatly. "Did you just really?"

"I just really."

"You handsome bastard. And yeah. We haven't really seen a lot of the Company Store. Wanna correct that?"

You pack up the chess board and help Nathan stand; he asks for, and recieves, one of Lark's sins against nature. You light him up and walk with him back in the direction of the Company Store - not far, but Nathan still has his peg leg to get used to. Still, the slow pace is...comfortable.

"Are we looking for anything in particular?" Nathan asks.

> Visit the saloon
> Where did those medics come from, anyway?
> I wonder what the market's like
> Nah, just explore the town

>>44961221
> Nah, just explore the town

>>44961221
>> Visit the saloon
First time voting in this quest

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Alright folks. My connection appears to be improved and stable. That said, I still have to go to work, like, now. Votes will remain open until I get home just after 8 PM tonight. Evening run may be somewhat slow due to distractions not gonna lie it's 'cause KCQ is running but I'll be updating.

As always, discussion, questions, comments, feedback, and criticisms remain welcome and appreciated. They help me improve! I'm a bit curious as to folks' thoughts on Speech Therapy.

Thank you all for reading and participating!

>>44961305
> Nah, just explore the town

>>44961267
Welcome to the quest anon! I hope you enjoyed the backlog and continue to have fun as ya participate. Don't be shy if you've got thoughts or questions to share.

>I wonder what the market's like.

>>44961221
>Nah, just explore the town
Might find something nice.

> I wonder what the market's like

Some casual sight seeing and window shopping. Can be nice.

Now where's that Sensible Chuckle image...
Stretching his peg. Clever bastard. Don't get used to it too much, hero.

>>44961221
>I wonder what the market's like
I like targeted meandering, personally, and the Medic stuff just sounds like work.

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>>44962259

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>>44962259

>>44961305
What is KCQ about and why do you like it?

>>44963547

It's a Kantai Collection quest run by Planefag.

>>44963547
Reincarnated warships fighting Aqua Satan. Good writing, rich base of fanfic, and a close friend of mine writes some of said fic.

Three hours and change to call.

>>44964597
Oh god, vox is planefag! EVERYONE ABANDON SHIP!

>>44964658
...Vhat?

>>44964658
Why would we abandon ship if he was? even though he isn't. Vox is a damn good writer.

>>44964700
Planefag is a divisive figure in the questing community. He's sort of a faggot but I personally like him.

>>44964733
I knew that part I'm just trying to see where the leap of logic happened to make that anon think I'm him.

>>44964788
Planefag fans are also called planefag. In WQDT, if someone says something that sounds like what planefag would say, that poster is called planefag and told to fuck off.

>>44964788
Everyone knows that there is only one person on 4chan, speaking to himself to make up for his gross lack of friends. Everyone else on here are just chat bots. It might've once been two people but moot abandoned ship.

>>44964788
I think it was a joke. Also, in regards to the Patreon, I'd recommend checking out what >>44956950 said. He raises a good point.

>>44964826
That's. Odd. But okay, whatever.

Break is over, going quiet again. See y'all after work.

Alright everybody, now that vox is gone we can begin Dungeon Unlife Quest.

You are Kells, a giant undead crocodile.

>What do?

>>44964979
>Eat water monsters

>>44964886
Remember Vox, if it seems strange, it's probably skub.

>>44964979
>Lament your loss of the physical ability to truly enjoy your erotic woodcuts anymore.

>>44964979
>Search for underwater loot.
We might be undead crocodile, but we are still a pirate, and there should be a sunken ship or two around here.

>>44964979
After lamenting your inability to enjoy erotic woodcuts, you decide to enjoy one of the few luxuries you have in your life, the ability to treasure hunt.

Having searched through the lake, you encounter a sunken ship, inside lie the skeletons of its crew. It is suspiciously broken in half, with the mast torn from the vessel as if by force.

>Investigate

>NOPE NOPE NOPE

>Get to looting

God damn this not being a roll quest makes it harder. How does vox do this shit?

>>44965123
If I'm interpreting events correctly, Vox has the occasional hidden roll, and certain choices are not going to succeed.

>>44965123
>Get to looting
I believe he's told us about all of the various illicit paraphernalia he's been on whilst questing

>>44965183
Christ, no wonder I don't really QM, I'm far too lazy for that shit.

Isn't that what all you losers are for? Acting as random number generators as I railroad you to wherever I decide you should go?

>>44965183
>>44965225
Note that he's only done this twice so far, for exceptionally high-risk-high-reward options that also had a high degree of impact in how the story went. The first was the boar-riding (success roll), and the second was when the elemental landed that large blob of elemental iron on Silence (fail roll). He revealed both of these in conversation following the latter.

Mostly, he seems to just decide about how each of the options is going to go before opening it for votes, then goes with the version our votes chose, with the main source of randomness coming from the imperfect-information status of our choices.

>>44965478
Don't forget when he clued us in that picking the wrong option would kill silence.

>>44961221
>> I wonder what the market's like

One hour and change to call.

>>44961221

> Nah, just explore the town

Is it just me or is Lora being weirdly nice to Brigette?

>>44968574
Maybe a bit, but it's possible Lora considers the punishment sufficient. so she may not totaly hate her.

>>44968574
Lora seems like a good person. She just wants revenge and to be free. Probably she is pissed to Brigette but she is not in her way anymore

>>44968574
>>44968635
>>44968780
>gods did creation wrong
>gods doing language wrong by not using them
do you see the similarities here?

>>44968848
I have no idea what you're getting at.

>>44968897
Lora can empathize. Bridgette's desire to make use of the Language to help people, is, by definition, going against divine will. That's why she had to fight just to know the Language.

See the pastebin, "the punishment is usually the act of trying it", and the same can be said of Lora's duty of maintaining the Dungeon. But that doesn't mean that either of their work is meaningless, now that they've actually achieved things worthy of respect. So they were granted their respective duties: to care for the knowledge and power they claimed the gods did not use rightfully, to see it done well.

>>44969015
oh, that makes quite a bit of sense.

Off work, on my way home. Now is a good time for final questions and comments.

>>44969714
Have you ever read the Abhorsen trilogy? I recall seeing a pic for the main character a thread or two back as one of your images.

>>44969780
> Have you ever read this thing Garth Nix wrote

With like literally only three exceptions the answer to this is always 'yes'.

I'm home, trying to warm up and eat dinner, then I'ma update.

>>44970770
I'm glad to hear that. I've always thought 'I was a kid when I read his books, they couldn't have actually been as amazing as I thought.'

Nope. Still amazing. Had to track down the early books to the Keys to the Kingdom after I learned it was finished. Real bitch to find them in bookstores, and I never remembered to order them online.

And of course there's a fucking tie.

Votes called, writing, in favor of 'I wonder what the market's like' since it's wandering but with a target.

>>44970884
I acquired them in audiobook form, and listened to them over some months of walking to & from work.

Those were some good walks.

Bump for the lich.

>>44972350

It's been over an hour and a half, Vox.

Did a john stiff you in the wrong way?

>>44975317
He's just having some trouble walking back,the friction burns are probably getting to him

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>>44961221
"I kinda wanna see what the shops are like," you admit. "There's gotta be more for sale down here than mining supplies and booze, right?"

"You're not wrong," Nathan admits. He takes your hand, and you lace your fingers in with his while the two of you walk. "...Though I'm starting to suspect you might just like shopping."

You whistle innocently.

"You /do/," the Hero accuses, laughing.

"Well yeah," you tell him, with a grin. "Even if I don't buy anything - which is often, because I've got this massive practical streak -"

"/No/," Nathan breathes. "You lie! You, practical?"

"Keep talkin' shit, stumpy," you warn. "Anyway, a lot of times markets have passionate, interesting people, wonderful art or jewelry, delicious food...y'know, fun stuff. Though from the looks of the place I'm kinda expecting to be disappointed."

You are. The markets of the Company Store are just as hunched and cautious as the town itself. Still, there's some things of interest available...and a bit of coinage burning a hole in your pocket.

> Find a gift for Amy
> Find a gift for Nate
> Find something they can share
> Get something practical
> Buy nothing

And

> Flirt
> Ask Nate how he's feeling
> Ask if you can vent a bit

>>44975317
>>44975374
Was having some issues causing the writing to actually happen. Also distracted, tired, and kinda blurgh in general. There's guests over at my home (they're not my guests) and they're seriously disturbing my calm.

Maybe turning on a playlist or something will help.

>>44975432
>> Find a gift for Amy
>> Find a gift for Nate
porque no los dos?


> Flirt

>>44975432
>Just buy stuff. Practice buying something for not a particular purpose. Food, spices, clothes. Not coffee.

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Amy
> Find a gift for Nate

> Flirt

I have to see how a necromancer flirts

It is unfortunate that you feel blurgh. best wishes to you.

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Amy
> Find a gift for Nate
> Get something practical
We ALLWAYS need something practical
> Flirt

5am here in Spain but I have nothing better to do.

>>44975432
>> Find a gift for Amy
>> Find a gift for Nate
> Flirt

>>44975432
>Find a gift for Amy
>Flirt

We have shankbird day tomorrow. Let's not get Nate's gift right in front of him.

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Amy
But like, involve Nate in the process. If he helps us pick something out, it can be a gift from both of us, and you do not get to tell me that's not goddamn adorable.

> Flirt
Naturally.

>>44975432
>Find a gift for nate

Sand paper maybe? That legs gotta splinter something awful.

>>44975886
>>44975432
Can we do this as a gag gift before getting him a real gift?
If the votes go that way

>>44975886
>>44975432
This.

>>44975886
Why not a dildo he can attach to the stump?

>>44976393
He has a dick

>>44976489
Correct. He has A dick. He also has Two girlfriends.

>>44976601
Well, we have wraithsteel...

>>44976631
Dear god, the threads become self sufficient! Quick! Someone purge this thread before it achieves sapience!

>>44976601
He also has two hands and a tongue. I like to think Nate's a smart enough guy to figure out the math.

Okay folks. I'm. Fucking crashing hard here. I'ma crawl into bed, sleep this off, and get up earlier than LolWutAM for once. Votes will remain open.

As always discussion, questions, comments, and criticisms remain welcome and appreciated.

Thank you all for reading and participating.

>>44976994
You suck
You DID ask for criticism after all, you didn't specify what kind

Anyway, looking forward to more content, sunday should be weird for everyone, although I forget if you were in the path of that blizzard or not.

>>44977150
As far as I know, the storm didn't get nearly as far inland as Michigan.

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Amy
> Find a gift for Nate
> Flirt

>>44975766
This

> Find a gift for Amy, but like, involve Nate in the process. If he helps us pick something out, it can be a gift from both of us, and you do not get to tell me that's not goddamn adorable.
> Flirt

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Nate
Because last time Amy got the music box and he gave bri a KICKASS Cane and precious coffeh. We owe him a gift I would think.
> Flirt

>find a gift for kells
>flirt with fetch
>order lora to get on her knees and worship.

>>44975432
>Find a gift for Nate
>Flirt
Amy has her music box, Nate gets a -?-.

>>44975432
>> Find a gift for Nate
>And

I'll leave the other vote to anons choice.

Should we tell Nate about the elemental leg we'll commission for him, or do we wait and tell him when we come along to deliver that wraithsteel for Amy's new wings?

Bump for the lich.

Alright folks. I'm alive but there's gonna be brunch here in about thirty minutes and I'm sorta hoping it'll help me kill this hangover because goddamn did I forget to A. drink water and B. take pain pills. I'll update when I get home; not sure when that's gonna be. At that time I'll also polish off the Duchess thing and provide the follow-up on Speech Therapy, assuming I've got enough time to do both.

Votes remain open.

>>44984712
Get well soon.

>>44976772
Amy, Bri and even Brooks would have taught him some tricks by now, it's all good.

>>44975432
> Find a gift for Amy
> Find a gift for Nate

> Flirt

Well that was worth the trip. It's been four years since I had a decent philly and now I know a place nearby that makes god-tier ones.

In other news, webcomic partner has once more felt the grip of lewdity. You know the place. If you don't, well, I'm sure someone will guide you to it.

Votes called, writing.

>>44987438
>Felt the grip of lewdity

This arouses my curiosity more than christmas eve.

>>44987438
Your webcomic partner knows what we want.

> Promise an update
> Immediately have to go chase the dog for four blocks and then drag her ass back home

Well that happened.

Gift for Nate is the victor. I'll update when I get home from work, and anon has my apologies.

>>44988009
My dog used to do the same thing, then we built a fence around our front yard.

Soon after he stopped trying to run away and we felt like idiots for building the fence.

>>44988009
drop off prevention.

Board is moving pretty quick tonight.

Real life has been making a nuisance of itself lately, though Vox still manages to put out more than most other QM's despite the setbacks. The bone-slut sure knows how to put out.

And seriously Vox? If you need to take a day or two rather than run ALL THE TIME, do it. You are awesome and deserve a break when you need it.

>>44991575
I like the daily pace, life's just been odd lately. Not bad, but between work schedule being fucky and a surprise guest in my fucking space it's been hard to focus and write. I'm sorry for things not being up to standard; I'll correct that soon, when life's more stable.

>>44992348
>a surprise guest in my fucking space

You have my sympathy, I think everyone can agree that this is rarely enjoyable.

>>44992348

Don't worry on it, Vox. Shit happens.

woah there, never expected to need to bump

>>44992348
It's all good, man.

An hour and change to update.

>>44995374
Rise thread rise

When I was sixteen, I spent a summer working for carnival. This was not one of those legit carnivals that shows up in town to run the fun rides and then leave to the next show; this was a ramshackle, south-of-the-law operation with the bent darts in its booths and the treats swimming in grease, run by the matriarch of a Southern clan mostly contained in the carnival itself. I am not proud of working for these people, and quite frankly I did Some Shit a few thousand miles away from home when it was that or get stranded half a continent from my family.

I say this so you have full context when I tell you that Microsoft is being more pushy about Windows 10 than these murderous rednecks were about their money.

Home at last. Writing shortly.

>>44997000
Trips so it must be true
also that sounds like a tale you tell to scare your kids straight.

>>44997000

It's the spyware. Keyloggers and sending copies of your whole hard drive to the Microsoft servers every twelve hours. They hate not knowing what you're doing with the thing you bought from them.

>>44997053
Oh believe me, I intend to. I think my /favorite/ part was probably, "You was in Boy Scouts, right? You know first aid? Good, make sure I don't kill this guy."

That definitely doesn't fucking haunt me.

>>44997232
After this and your family reunion finger stabbing tale I can only conclude that you've lived a rather interesting if somewhat terrifying life and I can only express my admiration that you seem to have come out a relatively sane and nice individual.

>>44997232
Your tales make me respect you greatly. And make me wonder if you're the protagonist of a book in some alternate dimension.

>>44997232
You should write a book for this kind of craziness.
I'd buy it.

>>44997438
>Observe, and be fascinated by the horrifying adventures of alt-universe Florida Man, Vox!
>Hired by a redneck carnival troupe on the basis he probably knew first aid!
>Prostitutes himself to afford lich maintenance materials, the salacious details of which we're not allowed to print!
>Runs a quest. Who the fuck does that!?
Forgot the family story, don't remember which thread it was. Oh well.

>>44997656
>Forgot the family story, don't remember which thread it was. Oh well.
Multi-year, multi-family-gathering game of monopoly involving extensive bookkeeping. An uncle(?) of his was found to be cooking the books -- they cut off the guy's finger.

>>44997656
>Has family reunions, where cheating at games costs a digit.

wait. Vox. is your family a Yakuza family?

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>>44997656

>>44997656
> Alternative Universe Florida

Mate, Alt universe Florida would have its shit together. I wish I lived in alt universe Florida. Have you ever been somewhat kidnapped to look at a gang bangers sick mum? Super polite, and they tried to pay me with weed and booze. Super fucked up, just because I told the bus driver I was down for a conference on sleep.

>>44997803
Alt universe Florida Man, anon, not alt universe Florida. Florida Man is the guy from all the news stories. You know, "Florida man sets cat on fire in attempt to retrieve wife from tree," that sort of thing. Florida Man is the expression of the fucked-upness you refer to, but is not, himself, the fuck-upness.

>>44997232
You're not a Yooper are you, Vox?

>>44997803
I had tried to infer Vox was some other universe's equivalent of our Florida Man: the conglomeration of several separate individuals in terrible situations and making horrible decisions. joined as one for the lulz.

I'll deliver the joke properly next time, I swear!

>>44997920

He's from Michigan.

>>44998095
The UP is part of Michigan.

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>>44975432
You trawl slowly through the stalls; you pick up a few practical things, because you can't not (and because healing supplies are one of those things it's vital to keep up on), as well as a cheap deck of playing cards. Nathan doesn't seem interested in shopping for himself, though he looks with interest as you scrawl on the cards with a fountain pen while you walk.

"What are you writing?" he finally asks, while you wander.

"Long-term seduction attempt," you rejoin, flicking the latest card to the rear of the deck. "Gotta keep my hand in the game somehow, with how serious things get between us sometimes."

"I don't do it on purpose," Nathan complains. "Our relationship got off on a weird foot."

"Yeah, killing a guy will do that," you agree, shooting Nate a grin. He groans and shakes his head at you while you continue. "Though you can't say I wasn't following tradition. Killing handsome young Heroes is a necromancer rite of passage."

Nathan laughs, stealing your hat and putting it on his own head. "...Why does Amy do this so much?" he asks curiously, flicking his eyes up at the brim.

"Because she understands that it means something to me, and that it in turn means something that I trust her with it," you tell him, your voice serious but a warm grin on your expression. "Now gimmie my hat back."

"You wound me," the Hero complains, but he puts the black top hat back on your dark hair. "Seriously though, what're you writing on those cards?"

"Notes for the bedroom later," you tease.

"Fine, be that way," Nathan says haughtily. "Mind if I ask a question that's kinda serious but in no way bad?"

"Fire away, Nate."

"When you imagine having a family of your own, what's it like?"

> Intimate. Ish. It's changed a bit since you and Amy came along.
> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.
> Honestly? Dunno. I was gonna let the chips lay where they fall.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

>>44998374
> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

All the brats

>>44998374
>a handful of children. Wasn't planning on too many, but between the three of us and aunt river, i think i could handle quite a few and still trust them to handle themselves well when they grow up.

Should we mention last time we brought up family with someone they beat the shit out of us and told us to stop saying stupid things like that.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

>>44998559
I think you're taking that very out of context.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

>>44998601
I am, but it would still be funny.

>>44998374
> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

>>44997920
>>44998256
I'm not. I grew up close enough to Ohio that I ended up there by accident once.

>>44998669
Ohio is just a thing that happens sometimes, huh?

>I was just going to the kitchen to make a grilled cheese sandwich, how'd I end up here?

>>44998374
> Honestly? Dunno. I was gonna let the chips lay where they fall.
It looks like those chips are going to lay with 'lots of kids'.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.


>>44998777
Ain't nothing wrong with kids

>>44998374
>ALL THE KIDS. Some might be adopted, some might not, but we will love them all equally. Whether they have funny shadows or make bird noises or talk with dead people. ALL THE LOVE.

Speaking of kids, odds that Isoldt and Brooks will be pregnant next time we see them?
I'm putting my money on Isoldt: yes.
Brooks: maybe/probably.

>>44998823
I'm the sorta person who likes quiet. Kids are fine; lots of kids would be an issue to my general stress levels.

S'all cool though; I ain't Bri. I'm hoping Nate finds a way to rib her on it, but he'll probably be all serious and say she'll be a good mother, which will get her all flustered. It'll be adorable, and I can get behind that.

>>44998374
>> Lots of kids. Maybe most of 'em end up being adopted, maybe they don't, but I liked the sprawling feel of my family at home.

I'm not sure if my vote is making a difference. Pretty clear what is going to win.

>>44998965
As a person who likes quiet and has 3 siblings, if you like that and your kids dont respect that, the problem wasn't how many kids you had

And then Nate admits: he may have forgotten to pull out this morning.

>>44999168
I think that somewhat depends on how old the kids are.
and how energetic they're feeling at the time..

>>44999236
A bit of discipline probably knocks them right out
pun regrettably not intended

>>44999168
True, but it's less dealing with kids than just having people around. The more people I have to juggle, the less relaxed I can get.

It's nothing intolerable, and I still like being social, it's just part of the give and take. How many people can I make an effort to deal with in a day before I'm doing them a disservice with how worn-out I'm getting?

I'm also kinda *not* comfortable of not dealing with any kids that I have, cause. Y'know. I helped make them. Can't just go to my room for a while to decompress if they have honest issues I can help with.

I'll end up with only 1 or 2 kids when I get older. If I'm going to saddle them with life and all its baggage, they deserve my full attention and support.

I think with three parents we can handle at least three kids. Although how we're going to splice our DNA with Shankbird's is a real doozy of an issue.

>>44999456
We wouldn't have kids with Shankbird. The Hero would just have to have kids with both of us and we'd deal with the kids equally regardless of who their technical mother was.

He'll have his work cut out for him.

>>44999456

Why would we need to?

Nate and Amy's kids will be Bri's too. Nate and Bri's will be Amy's too.

I'm not opposed to the idea, I just don't really see a reason to do so.

Reverse necromantic contraception: a negative amount of boning gets you the same amount pregnant.

>>44999456
Yeah man, we're gonna raise them all equally. They'll all be la croix

>>44999528
>>44999520
>not wanting beautiful chocolate bird children

Your lack in taste offends my fabulosity.

>>44999400
I get that. I just feel that the kids themselves should be just as willing to support each other and play off each other's energy.

Im terms of "dealing" with them, they're supposed to be a step above close friends in how easily you can interact with them, although that's not a sure thing. Juggling material needs is much simpler, at least until you need to start going to parent teacher conferences, i suppose. Which leaves their personal issues, and yeah, i get if you don't want TOO much of that.

But then I'm asian, and I seem to have unusually peaceful family interactiom, at that.

>>44999639
I can agree with you on all that. I can deal with being around my parents and some of my friends all day. But I can't know how involved I'd need to be with my kids and how easy or hard that involvement will be, so I'd rather play it safe.

As it is, I have ADHD, and I'm sure my kids will have it too. One may be too much to deal with at first.

>>44999400
I'm biased as hell, I love kids and due to poor life choices had them when I wasn't ready for it. I still don't regret my decision.

>>44999520
"Dad why do I have 2 moms?"

"Because I'm good son, because I'm real good."

>>44999874
kek

>>44999874
It is weird that we're playing one of the women in this situation.

Just different enough from the usual standard quest fare to keep this from being haremshit

>>44999874
> Implying nobody gets stuck in an unexpected polymorph trap

>>45000039
It's because vox makes it seem like a real relationship

>>45000048
Ranma?

Welp, at least I now have an idea on how to deal with any That Guys I have the displeasure of playing with.

>>45000048
"Dad, why do we keep that sheep around?"

"Son, I fucking love that sheep, don't question it."

>>45000139
"Baaaaut, dad..."

>>45000139
better yet
"Son, that sheep is your mother, don't question it. Also, are any of your friends' parents powerful wizards?"

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Do you folks remember the artist that was making the la Croix family crest?

It's finished.

>>45000177
I like it. very much.

>>45000177

Unf.

I'd fight under that standard, I would.

>>45000177
Well hello, new TF2 spray! Gonna main medic if I get around to it.

>>45000177
Can you link me to the site with the new lewd pic Vox? i like being spoon fed

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>>45000177

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>>45000177
*explodes like the deathstar*

>>45000177
artist in question here.

Thanks a lot. Glad you guys like it.

>>45000250
http://wildwestscifi.net/behind-the-building

4 u

>>45000250
just google: dungeon life quest lewd

3rd link
because I am not putting it here.

>>45000177
>>45000283
Be proud, anon. That is the most beautiful thing I've seen all weekend, and I spent most of the weekend trawling art sites.

Well, that's pretty clearly called.

Writing shortly.

>>45000309
>No prosthetic leg
get cucked nate

>>45001436
What?

>>45001436
Nate didn't have a prosthetic leg the one and currently only time he slept with Bri.

TFW the artist has had trouble drawing Nate to begin with though.

>>45001513
>Nate didn't have a prosthetic leg the one and currently only time he slept with Bri.
Fug, that makes sense.

>>45001513
You know what they say about having sex with a partner who only has one leg.

Easier access.

>>45001513
Now that I've looked at the picture.
wouldn't nate's peg still be below the border of the image?
Or is Nates leg missing halfway up his thigh?

>>45001577
Below the knee.

>>45001591
Well that kind of blows my accusation of cuckoldry out of the water. Thought it was more than just below the knee.

>>45001591
Wait. It was cut off below the knee?

Why the fuck do we want to replace it with wraith steel then!?

We can literally get a regular metal one, people use those regularly in reality! Why not just get one made of iron.

>>45001635
because wraithsteel swag

and it won't be JUST a prosthetic

>>45001635
Because wraith steel is rad.
Magic cybernetics

>>45001635
Because the ankle joint is kind of important? But you're not entirely wrong. There's a reason Nate thinks a wraithsteel prosthetic would be a waste, and it's not /just/ him being a Hero.

>>45001635
I think the main reason is that ankles are useful.
A spring just isn't nearly as good, or controllable, as wraithsteel (or living iron) is likely to be.

>>45001591
>Die
>This leads to you fucking a cute brown necromancer

>Lose a leg
>This leads to you banging a harpy

>>45001686
Nate is just a fucking winner

>>45001686
Fucking lucky nate

>>45001682
I'm all for using the Iron over the wraithsteel.
It should do the job nicely. while being a better use of material

>>45001712
Hes got bigger balls than firemen of course hes drowning in the puspus.

>>45001686
>Cute brown necromancer, and harpy, at the same time.
ftfy.

>>45001737
Definitely agree. The iron should do fine for the leg. Let him give Amy her wings back. The both of them deserve that much.

>>45001757
Not to mention I forgot

>Lose any chance you had of following your dreams due to breathing problems
>Bang your childhood crush, break your childhood bully and get a sword

Dont we still have that elemental iron from the forge beast silence fought? Don't elemental parts make kick ass prosthetics? I remember this being a thing.

>>45001212
Hey Vox, I just finished reading the archive after a week. (I'm a slow reader.) As an aspiring amateur writer, I gotta ask, how'd you get so good at writing?

Is it all the centuries of being undead?

>>45001936
I'm working under the assumption that we do. Pretty sure that's what I and the other anon were talking about with making the leg out of "the iron".

>>45002042
Ahh gotcha, thought you just ment regular iron.

Well yeah I think wraith steel for wings, elemental iron for leg.

Hope we get to make the choice soon, we are slowly becoming a party of cripples

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>>45001961
I'm flattered you think I'm good. But it's an honest question and it deserves an honest answer.

Some of it has to do with my particular reaction to social exclusion. Like a lot of folks who for one reason or another couldn't make friends in real life (that story's long and painful), I spent a lot of time online. As a young and aspiring writer, I submitted some work to a monthly fic contest on what used to be the WotC boards and it was, I'm gonna tell you straight, absolute shit. Fractally shit, even. Feces at every level of zoom.

But someone, somehow, saw potential in there. I got tagged into a writing group, somewhat intimate, but entirely composed of a combination of published authors, English professors, and college students...and me.

The eleven year old with attitude problems.

The initial crash course was rough. The skills I learned had very little to do with the actual art of writing and a lot to do with *being an artist*. How to take critique, how to /give/ critique, developing a thick skin, teasing additional information out of a reader by asking them specific questions (you may have noticed me doing this with you guys). How to edit without losing faith in the work, how to accept that a first draft is not the only draft. Valuable skills, and skills that've stuck with me all these long years.

Other things were a matter of practice. If you wanna be a writer, /write/. Even five hundred words a day, as long as you get them onto the page. Are they not perfect? Fine. Shop 'em around. Ask what makes them tick. Read your sentences out loud to get a taste of them.

A lot of time has been spent trying to find my voice and developing my own particular writing style. Some choices are stylistic; they're not inherently bad or good. I've got a friend who's wild for Stephen King, but I have trouble reading King; the work feels dry and disconnected (cont).

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>>45002194
Conversely, my less-is-more trend can leave out details that some readers feel are vital, or create confusion while I'm trying to go for an emotional angle and I forget that what *I* know is not necessarily what the *reader* knows.

I've been working on refining my writing for the better part of thirteen years. I still feel like I have a long way to go. My advice: write. Ask folks for critique and not just other writers; it's important to see how *readers* see and feel your work. Read, voraciously, and explore new genres and authors. Experiment with different voices. Try hipster shit just to try it so you can see why it doesn't work - or find an unexpected way to MAKE it work. And above all else, be gracious to your readers. They've given you a fragment of their lives, which they will never get back. Even if they ended up hating the work, you owe them for that.

Did you have further, or more specific questions, anon?

>>45002194
I blame cellphones and widespread social media websites.
Not enough money for a personal cellphone and whatever gaming system is popular between your peers? get fucked kiddo.

>>45002270
Wrong thread? right?

>>45002304
What? No, I was responding to:
>Like a lot of folks who for one reason or another couldn't make friends in real life

>>45002270
>>45002354
I'm fairly sure Vox's time in school predated the common use of personal cellphones and social media, at least to the extent they are used today.

>>45002254
I love your advice and I've been doing the whole reading tons of material and seeing how other writers do their thing thing, but not so much the writing thing. But I'll do that. I'd have to be an idiot to not the follow the advice of an undead but very talented lich.

Follow up question: are there any books you personally recommend?

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>>44998374
"You know," you tell him playfully, "you're the second person to ask this question? Well. Not this exact question. Lora asked me what I thought my future looked like when this is all over."

"...How'd that go over?" Nathan asks carefully, still watching you write on the cards.

"She hit me with a wing for being needlessly morose and it honestly kinda helped," you admit. "And, y'know, thinking about it...I wouldn't mind having a lot of kids. Even if some or a lot of them are adopted. I mean, there's my kids, any kids I adopt, a theoretical apprentice or three, Amy's kids, River's if she has any..."

"Sounds like a clan," Nathan says with a grin.

"Well..yeah. I loved growing up with an extended family at home, and...I think it'd be nice to raise children into one too. Especially if the worst, gods forbid, should happen."

"Always gotta be practical," Nathan murmurs.

"Not /entirely/ practical," you admit, handing him the completed deck. "My gift to you. Take a look."

Nathan draws the first card and reads the text out loud. "Half an hour of peace and quiet by any means necessary."

You grin, a little wryly. "Favors. Fifty-two favors, called in any time you like. Just turn in the card and let thy will be done. Just, y'know. Be reasonable."

"I get what you mean," the Hero agrees, playfully. He fans the deck to look at it; his eyes alight on a particular card, and he flashes it at you with a wicked grin.

"Quickie with feeling, huh?" you read, returning his smile. "...I bet Lark's barn is empty."

* * * *

> Enjoy dinner with Nate
> Go find Amy
> Write-in

>>45002943
>> Enjoy dinner with Nate

>>45002943
> Enjoy dinner with Nate

>>45002943
>Enjoy dinner with Nate
Amy already had some Hero, it's only fair that we get a portion

>>45003022
>get a portion

Certain portions are better than others

>>45002943
> Go find Amy

File: Bri Passes Out While Writing.png (843KB, 1275x768px) Image search: [Google]

843KB, 1275x768px

>>45002704
The Literary Offenses of Fenimore Cooper by Mark Twain is an in-depth critique of a humorous sort and full of great advice from one of the great American authors. It's also a good example of critique that expresses the critic's feelings while still being constructive.

Literally anything by Garth Nix, but especially his Keys to the Kingdom series. Nix has a talent for worldbuilding that works with the story instead of stopping to tell you about his setting and putting the actual plot on hold.

Stardust, American Gods, Anansi Boys, Coraline, and The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Almost all of Gaiman's work is phenomenal, but in those four books you'll see the same author with four different voices, all of them used masterfully. In particular, the Graveyard Book has the best cold-open I have ever read in English.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black. If you've read literally anything with vampires, this book is non-optional. Related, check out Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me by Christopher Moore, as well as his book Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal.

Parasite Rex, by Carl Zimmer. Great for body horror, but also great for an example of an author taking a complex and somewhat arcane subject and making it accessible to the lay person.

Everything is Under Control, by Robert Anton Wilson. It's an encyclopedia of conspiracies, both real (and in some cases successfully prosecuted in court) and blatantly fictional (yet still with devoted followings).

Nos4a2 (cannot remember author name off top of head, too drunk to go get book). Horror that goes for the spine instead of the gut, nice depiction of how someone lives their life after trauma they have trouble speaking of to others.

The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern. I cannot describe this book without spoiling it. Find it, read it, come back and give me your thoughts.

House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielwiski. A book that gives back what you put into it.

>>45003245

>Garth Nix
>Neil Gaiman
>Night Circus
>Motherfucking House of Leaves

How do you keep getting even more awesome, Vox?

>>45002704
>>45003245
Discworld. All of it. Pratchett was knighted for this series. You may also enjoy Good Omens (co-written with Neil Gaiman).

Wicked. The novel that inspired the play of the same name, and an interesting subversion of Oz.

Reckless, by Cornelia Funke. She has a lot of other fun novels but Reckless is a wonderfully fey-themed take on fantasy in a world connected to but relatively uninfluenced by modern Earth. Great sense of /threat/ without bludgeoning you with it.

The Cirque du Freak series by Darren Shan. I'm not gonna lie, I'm telling you to read these because they will make you frustrated and angry. An object lesson in when it's time to Just Fucking Stop.

Are you learned or interested in American history or education? Check out Lies My Teacher Told Me and Lies Across America, an examination of high school text books (and roadside historical musuems and attractions) and how the bad information therein perpetuates.

The Devil's Dictionary. This book should need no introduction and I won't disservice it by giving it one.

Up Against the Wall, Motherfucker. Another one where I am too drunk to remember the author's name, it follows the real-life stories of people who legally changed their names to unprintable names and then went and made the news in protest of government activities to which they objected.

Ready Player One by Earnest Cline. This is another one where describing it would ruin some part of the effect. Watch a man extend the culture he's part of from the inside.

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. I don't have a lot in common with King's writing style but his frank, honest approach to both violence and horror has a lot to say for it, and you'll find both in the series. Even if you can't get the whole thing, check out The Wind Through the Keyhole.

Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. This book is shit. It has worsened the world for existing. It is also immensely successful. Read it, then come back to me and tell me why.

>>45003383
>Twilight

>tfw you've read and own all 4 books

>>45002943
> Enjoy dinner with Nate
GLORIOUS FOOD

>>45003439
Don't worry anon, so do I.

Meyer does one thing extraordinarily well. There's lessons to be learned, admist the evil.

...Did 4chan eat my last post?

>>45003462
They are incredibly addicting, but awful at the same time. I don't understand it.

>>45003539
> addicting
I put it down after the first 50 pages. Could Not Continue.

>>45003558
I don't know anon, I was young when the first one came out, I was naive

>>45003558
You're immune to Meyers' trick. Which is a thing, and quite possibly a good thing, because there is not enough moonshine in all the world to scrub that filth from my mind.

>>45003612
What's the trick, to all us sane people out there
you can spoiler it if need be

>>45003612
>>45003570
Which I find strange.

I devoured books like Slumdog Millionaire and Artemis Fowl in 1-3 sittings once I hit my reading stride. I could read over a hundred manga chapters and only stop because my eyes are pounding. I play Disgaea titles.

It's like just as much as addictive media has devoured me, so have I learned the different tells of truly Bad addictive stuff. That doesn't mean I'm immune, just that when something truly, truly is not something I enjoy or able to take something from in some way....I can put it down.

>>45003721
I read Game of Thrones in 3 hours, fuck my head hurt after that

>>45003641

To the best of my knowledge, Meyer is very good at getting hooks in her readers; regardless of whether you know it's crap, you nonetheless feel compelled to keep going and find out what happens next.

I read all four books in under 36 hours, and I bloody HATED them, but I couldn't bring myself to put them down and walk away. There are some really good books where you can comfortably stop in the middle of a chapter or a scene and take a break; that doesn't work with Meyer.

>>45003641
SPOILERS. GUY I'M ADVISING, PLEASE NOT.

Meyers' great talent is forging an emotional connection with the reader. Her language is clumsy and sloppy, and most of her phrasing - if read with even a little depth or consideration - literally describes things that seem absurd. In particular, her obsession with 'liquid' eyes is a bit fucked when you consider that horses are the creatures we interact with most that have such eyes. But in the way she frames and suggests descriptions, she creates a feeling while leaving a space for the reader to insert their own projections and thoughts. I very much doubt she had the wit to do this on purpose given her total lack of competence in all other aspects of writing, but in her blind success there's lessons to be had in writing to evoke a feeling.

>>45003778
Jesus christ dude. I can read pretty fast but thats fucking crazy.
Can you even remember anything about the book?

>>45003797
Considering I've read it 4 times, yes. I won't tell you how many times I've read the entirety of the Dresden files.

>>45003797
Brah I read the entirety of Worm in 2 days. I worked eight-hour shifts both days.

Three hours for Game of Thrones sounds pretty fucking reasonable to me.

>>45003778
...I'm assuming you mean the book of that name, and not the series?

>>45003844
The book yeah, the series in a week I think?

>>45003826
Read the entire Wheel of Time series in less than a month, that's 15 900+ page books. I'm surprised I'm still sane.

>>45003859
Jesus fucking christ what. How? WHY? Jordan was so shit at advancing his own plot that he managed to fucking die before he could finish because no one would slap his shit and tell him it was time to shut the fuck up!

>>45003873
Like I said I'm surprised I'm still sane, my reading pace is quite absurd. Also the faster you read those books the more compelling they are.

>>45003873

You should set up a new thread, we're past bump limit.

>>45003919
GOOD IDEA.

IN OTHER NEWS, I HAVE POLISHED OFF ABOUT HALF A GALLON OF STRAWBERRY MOONSHINE AND AM WORKING ON THE THINGS THAT WERE FORMERLY STRAWBERRIES FLOATING INSIDE IT.

I AM NOW VERY DRUNK AND POSSIBLY FLIRTING WITH DEATH.

WILL LINK THREAD WHEN IT HAPPENS. IT'S BEEN A WEIRD NIGHT FULL OF FEELS UNRELATED TO THE QUEST THAT ARE A MIXTURE OF 'AWW', SHAME, GUILT, AND RAW TERROR.

I SHOULD POSSIBLY SHUT UP NOW.

>>45004107
>HALF A GALLON OF STRAWBERRY MOONSHINE


Not the way to go I'd pick, but to each his own.

>>45004122
DUNNO WHY I SAID GALLON IT'S LIKE HALF A PINT.

TOO DRUNK FOR IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS JESUS FUCK.

>>45004218
You might need a second post for the new thread so it doesn't get deleted for taking up space

NEW THREAD

>>45004159
>>45004159
>>45004159
>>45004159

>>45003796
Ohhhh snap. She's infecting the readers with the Mary Sue injection, at least that's how I read it from your review.