Your party encounters a small child of indeterminate species

Ask them their situation, then probably provide them food. If called for, escort them to a better shelter somewhere and be done with it.

But, always prepared for either of them to attempt to eat/attack us.

>>44949697
>"Are you gonna eat that helmet?"

Being a suit of living armor is hard when you actually do manage to get hungry.

He'd probably go and kill some wildlife and bring it to them if they asked him politely for food.

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>>44949697
*Well, this is new, what do we do this timeline partner?

Hey kids, wanna save the world for some fish?

Take Dragon and sell it to traders.

Since I'm a psion telepathic I would kill the little freak and cast dominate monster on the dragon. Command the dragon to lower its mental barrier and then wipe it's memory of that girl and replace myself as the person those feelings are directed towards. Then come back to the party with my new awesome familiar and remove any incident of the child murder event from my memory so I won't feel guilty. Did I mention I was Neutral Evil?

>>44949956
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qttI6oytqpw
All your actions will come back to haunt you in the end.

>>44949989
Only if his DM makes it so. And that's called having a vendetta against a player.

>>44949697
Get the child (and its Dragon) to come with me with offers (and gifts) of food and shelter, then organize transportation for them both back to Phoenix lands.

It's obvious the Fortunes orchestrated this meeting, we must divine its true meaning.

Get the child and dragon to come along. Obviously these is the new Little girl special snowflake DMPC sorcerer the GM will push on us. If we leave they'll be coming back as enemies or something since the current GM is kinda vengeful when we ignore important plot hooks.

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>>44949697
I slay them both because not human, then masturbate over how righteous I am, deus vult

>>44949956
Reminds me of someone I play with who thought he was doing neutral/evil properly. He killed two innocent people and used their bodies as the first action he took that campaign.

Also the DM trying to find a way for kharma to bite you in the ass for going out of your way to be SUPER EVIL for no good reason and without hesitation is hardly a vendetta as much as a response to breaking character. Unless you were playing a coldsteel-tier evil campaign, in which case I guess you'd do fine. I don't know, there's tons of possible contexts.

Honestly I'd be fine with it as a fellow player. I fucking hate when DMs shove magical loli bullcrap into games and yoy just know that's what this would be.

>>44950037
Not if the DM has notes on the character to begin with with entities that were looking for her. Which I certainly would. And I'd hand another player said notes immediately after the session ended so he could later confirm that it's not a vendetta.

Actions have consequences. Frankly I'd think a Neutral Evil PC would welcome said consequences as a chance for more experience and edginess.

>>44949697
My barbarian informs the little girl that he doesn't understand what the word "crepuscular" means and begins to get angry, believing she is insulting him in some way. She has less than 1 minute to make or beat a 14 diplomacy roll before he begins punching her while beginning to rage.

>>44950278
Exactly my reasoning. Though dragon familiars are ALWAYS cool so I'd try to keep that.

I question them about who they are and why they're here, listening carefully for any more magical realm red flags so I know to punch the GM.

>>44950285
Honestly if you shove some special snowflake loli into your games and fuck over your players when they decide to get rid of the problem before it starts (even if it's OOC knowledge driving the action) then you're a shit GM.

>>44950383
I guess that's as good a reason as any

>>44949697
My wizard collects small children. The dragon would be a nice curio, so I likely bring them along.

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>>44949697
I'll happily share some of my rations with them. They will come to love Dwarven hardtack and ale, as I have.

>>44949697
Offer them some food if they let us share the cave with them. Traveling in the rain sucks and they were in the cave first.

>>44950413
I dunno, if you're getting a pretty neutral vibe from her and you still decide to off her, your character sheet should probably read some variant of "evil" on it.

Murdering a child for no solid reason is a pretty abhorrent act. Like if there's a paladin in the party who lets her die due to inaction I could see it being justified to hand him a "Yo, that shit's pretty close to falling".

A good rule of thumb is to avoid associating with absolutely any girls under 18 years of age and any DMs who have pushed one into the party before. This will save you tons of situations where the DM tries to shove unnecessary sex scenes in. Not all of them but still.

>>44950285
No action has consequences in D&D unless the DM, who controls the entire world, makes it so. DM equals causality.

>>44949780
>"Are you gonna eat that helmet?"

What would you do if they answer 'yes' ?

>>44949697
Detect evil.

>>44950496
>tfw playing grizzled old war veteran fighter

>DM shoves a kid into it

>become surrogate father and end up murdering a dozen people who try to rape said child

Fuck, DM, stop, holy shit.

>>44950488
Depends on what kind of GM you have and what she/he has done in the past. My current GM I wouldn't put it past him to try and get some kind of love arc between this girl and the 80 year old elf rogue that looks like a 16 year old.

>>44950537
He would try to trade something of equal value.

But since he has no concept of money or really any value he would probably just throw acorns at them until they gave it away.

Or he would sulk and beg. It depends on how hungry he is.

Worst case scenario they con he out of his weaponry (weapons aren't any good for eating).

>>44950413
>special
>snowflake
>loli

Making a lot of assumptions there.

>crepuscular
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/crepuscular
>adjective
>1. of, relating to, or resembling twilight; dim; indistinct.
>2. Zoology. appearing or active in the twilight, as certain bats and insects.

First thing I do is get a light source of some kind. Something that illuminates the cave. Then I ask the GM to describe it again.

If he uses the word crepuscular a second time, then the cave is still dimly lit despite out light source, its indistinctly shaped, or the GM meant the second meaning. Whatever the case, we aren't staying in this cave.

If the kid and dragon want to come with us, they can. If they want to stay, we leave them behind.

>>44950821
OP literally says it's a child of indeterminate species, meaning half-something the party doesn't even know about so it must be either really powerful or just obscure, leaning heavily to the former. Also having a dragon companion to add onto it probably means there's something decidedly speshul about her. The loli part I added onto just to be derivative but all my other points are valid.

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>>44950513
While true, that does not necessarily translate out into "vendetta".

>>44950888
>meaning half-something the party doesn't even know about

Or that the party just sucks at their Knowledge checks...

>>44950888
Or maybe you just can't see the ears so since it's just a kid you can't be sure where it is on the human-to-elf spectrum.

>>44950858
Best response

>>44950895
so faggotry literally caused the destruction of humanity? That's so fucking hilarious and ironic.

Reminder that SJW and equality is bullshit.

>>44950925
Meaning the party doesn't know about it.... What exactly were you trying to accomplish there?
>>44950943
Everyone in the world knows about elves and a half-elf is literally just a high charisma human with weird ears. Indeterminate species means there's something decidedly different about this girl besides something purely cosmetic.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>44949697
I ask her if she's okay, and offer to share my coat with her and the Dragon. I enchanted it with basic internal climate control, so it should be pretty comfy.

Also, I'm Casting Detect Magic and making a Perception Check to see if something is fishy.

Hopefully, if something is wrong, I'll have just the right scroll ready to help out.

>>44950997
Ugh...the moral of that story is "the world is bigger than the player characters; shit happens whether or not you're around to affect it."

Or, alternatively, "you're not on a railroad, but that doesn't mean that there isn't something REALLY important that you should probably focus on. Try not to get distracted."

>>44951020
She's a tiefling with a lot of demonic traits hidden under her baggy clothes and what you believed to be dirt at first is actually scales and small horns. Her eyes are red with yellow irises and her teeth seem to have been filed to a point. Roll initiative.

Naturally you take them in and put them under your wing.

A dragon would make an excellent tool to have at my disposal, and if the dragon is attached to the girl, I just have to raise the girl to believe the sun shines out of my backside and a shit sweet rolls.

>>44951003
>Everyone in the world knows about elves

Says who?

>and a half-elf is literally just a high charisma human with weird ears

Depends very heavily on the setting. In Dragonlance, for example, I'm pretty sure there's only a single half-elf on the entire planet; certainly there's so rare that no one would recognize them on sight.

>>44951063
Well if they didn't recognize a human with ears that are not normal as a human with weird ears then the entire party must have critfailed their knowledge checks.

>>44951085
"Indeterminate". Could be human with unusually pointed ears, or an elf with unusually rounded ears. Or a half elf.

>>44951055
>underage tiefling attacks adventurers unarmed
Does she actively want to die or something? Because it seems an awkward combination of absurd and tragic whatever the circumstances that led her here.

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>>44949697
>Chaotic evil party
I kill the dragon and eat the child
not in that order.

>>44951055
>Roll initiative.
Why, if she's a child then chances are she's not evil yet, even if she is a Tiefling. If she does attack though, luckily I prepares Entangle today and have a good ol' Quickened Metamagic Rod.

However, you never gave me results for Detect Magic, I'll have to assume there are no magical auras, so if she attacks me it means she's not compelled but is probably frightened and panicky.

So is she attacking or no? If so, I drop my quickened Entangle and see how she and her Dragon buddy react, all the while trying to appear as non threatening as possible.

Should I make a roll for that.

Urgently move on, I'm tired of npcs hogging the spotlight in every game this guy runs.

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>>44951058
A kid bonded to a dragon might have some useful skills of their own.

>>44950422
>Collects Children

Please tell me it's not what I think it is.

>>44950230
DEUS VULT

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>>44951268
>not having your own large family of adopted children whom you watch over lovingly and view you as your father.
Wat are you, gay?

>>44949697
Firstly, let the Paladin go full Divine Sense on it.
If he starts puking or repeating the word "no", determine whether the dragon or the kid is the cause of that much concentrated evil. Either way, I guess the threat needs to be removed, and the Paladin will probably want to do it sooner, rather than later.
If he feels they're only SLIGHTLY evil, let him figure out how to dissuade them from the wrong path, while I try to get that lantern started back up, and crack open those barrels.
Either post-battle or if they come up as not EVIL/a threat, scope out the cave, leaving the Paladin to supervise them. He ain' got darkvision, so I'll run it solo, phantoma-style, just to make sure there isn't something nasty further in. I'll leave behind my flint and tinder for the paladin, since he's a Silver, so he can't just use his breath to start up a fire. Maybe suggest the barrels as kindling.
If the cave has a nasty surprise, I'll probably try to determine if I can off it myself. If not, I'll double back and grab the paladin to help clear it.
If all clear, head back out into the rain, try to track down some dinner. one or two slow hares if only Me n the Paladin need food, a lame deer or something similar if the kiddo and the dragon are cool.

>>44951268
Considering they're a wizard, I'm assuming they mean collect in the way one collects stamps or butterflies.

Now, if it were a bard...

>>44950555
At once?

>>44949697
>Be grizzled old thief of dubious morals.
>Meet little girl. Meet little dragon.
>Ask GM if he's sure he wants to do this?
>Tell GM he has seriously messed up presenting me with this situation of a delicate nature when my character firmly believes making money is the most important thing in life.
>Teach little girl and dragon to be thieves and set them up with rooms in my massive guild of thieves, keeping them employed, safe, fed, and earning me coin until they decide what they want to do with their coin and lives. Yes, he's chaotic neutral but I'd like to think this is fairly neutral since their kinda earning him money.
>

>>44951464
We know your bud is a Pally, but what are you? By talking about Fantoma stuff I'd guess Rogue, but I'd rather not make the assumption. Just curious honestly.

>>44951492
While I accept the stereotype of bards as nymphomaniac xenophiles, I never really got the sense they were particularly inclined towards diddling kids. Or do you mean something else?

>>44949697
>Stop moving and ask "Do you speak Common?" in at a reasonably tame volume.

First mistake everyone always makes is pointing fingers at magical creatures and asking them questions they won't understand.

Know what that looks like? Spellcasting to those with bad Spellcraft checks. You done fucked up.

Now, the little girl and her dragon are gonna cast and breathe cones of fire at you because they're worried about their safety and your dumb ass is going to think they instigated this confrontation.

Now, you're going to go all out and kill this innocent little girl and her dragon, which mind you are cold, hungry, weak, and afraid, because you thought it would be a good idea to just walk right up to them, armed and dangerous, and ask them if they want to save the world for some fish.

>>44951592
Missed opportunity to Circus Act.

>>44951618
That's why you do kinda what >>44951020
Suggests and offer her your coat, and possibly remove a few of your weapons or do some other obvious sign of peace

>>44951644
That's sick, but I can top it. Naturally they'd be street performers as a cover while robbing the people blind. If my guild needed to coordinate with the party in another city to pull off a heist for a quest or something a circus seems like something I might use.

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>>44951596
Nailed it, actually. Specifically a TN Half-Elf rogue(Assassin Archetype, Outlander BG), though he was originally a ranger in the first book of the 5e RotRL AP we're doing.
The DM said since I didn't immediately say what human race he was, he'd be mestizo.
So Montero is a laid back latino forester, with no real love for city life or money, and a big love for siestas, Obad-Hai, and the occasional kush.
Also ugly for a Half-Elf at CHA 11.
And he wasted a wish from a demigod on, what the DM and the Paladin's player have dubbed, "a sandwich": locating a druid of obad-hai to reconsecrate an amulet of Shield of Faith in His name.
Said wish could've been used to get rid of Malfeshnekor, but I, and by extension Monty, didn't think of that at the time, and even if I had, that's not the kind of wish I think he would make.

>>44951604
The bard doesn't see them as kids, but investments for the future.

>>44951757
Sounds cool. Is the Paly an Oath of Ancients? Because that seems like it would mesh well with the guy.

Wish I could learn and play 5E. Sadly I'm stuck in PF, and my group relies on me to be the voice of knowledge and balance, which is painful because most of the stuff I like I know is OP, and can't bring myself not to abandon the ideas out of respect for my buds.

>>44951434
Reminds me of the Morrowind wizard in Tel Fyr tower. Divayth Fyr if I remember correctly.

>>44952070
Nah, he's actually a Vengeance. We don't mesh, but that's part of what's fun about the roleplay.
Nine times out of ten, he starts smelling/feeling the SUPEREVIL and gets all antsy/sick, and I just look at him and go "whassup, mang? You ain' lookin' so good."
Yet when push comes to shove, we gel well, and watch each other's backs. Especially since it's only the two of us.

I feel ya on the PF front. was stuck in that rut with Pally's player and the DM for a while. all the splats and everything suck balls.
Which is why the DM switched. 5e is much cleaner, less CASTERWINS. Also, he's instituted one major rule: ANY game he runs is going to be PHB-only. No UA, no other splats. It's definitely kept some stupid shit (Unearthed Arcana's Favored Soul Sorcerer Bloodline comes instantly to mind) out.

>>44951434
>adopts

Yeah, because he totally isn't artificially inseminating magical ova he's making himself.

Those are his test-tube spunk monks. And he fucks them.

>>44952334
Meant for >>44952269

>>44952324
>all the splats and everything suck balls.
Actually the recent splats have actually been relatively well balanced, especially the new Weapon Master's Guide, mainly because the Devs don't meddle too much with many of the splats the editing works on.

It's the Core rulebook and most of the Main Line products that are horribly balanced, and which the Devs completely ignore all playtest feedback ever given and instead only listen to idiots who are subscribed to Society play that don't understand balance for all thier errattas.

Also Crystal, Jessica, and Jacobs have been getting worse, though luckily some recent editors have been trying to kibash thier stupidity.

Also, there is also a lot of great 3pp material if your willing to look for it.

But yeah, Core PF is unbalanced as nobs, and I feel the only reason I stay is because its mostly free, I enjoy the character building minigame, and annoying to get into other games on college student budget.

>>44950496
Wait, as in little girl characters or little girl players? I mean both are messed up in their own way

>>44950997
Would it be any different if they were rebelling for, say, an end to the Jewish problem or something?

>>44950230
DEUS VULT!

>>44953470
Oh Hitler, go back to /pol/

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The small child of indeterminate species and the even smaller dragon turn out to be benevolent, harmless, and jovial in demeanor once the rain goes away and they are properly fed.

>>44953638
read what I replied to.

>>44953664
Does she have parents or anything? She should probably be safe at home and not hanging around in the kind of dangerous locales adventurers like us would be in.

>>44949697
My character attempts to find out if she is an orphan. If she is, he offers her and her small companion a place at his side and in his home. He ensures she is well educated and cares for her every need, training her at the same time to work with the dragon as her close partner. All this to mold her into his perfect bodyguard.

Did I mention my character is a Warlock leading a secret cabal of Warlocks bent on world domination because they feel that the current government systems are too weak and divided?

>>44949697
Well, I'm a forever DM, but I do know how my group would respond.
>Ask about the situation.
>Offer assistance in any way they can.
>See if the kid has a home.
>If she doesn't, they adopt her.
Every single time. "Take her home with me" seems to be their default response to damn near everything.
>Alien-human hybrid constructed cell by cell by a psychotic alien in defiance to all natural laws? Adopt!
>Low grade teenage super villain attacks their hideout? Adopt!
>Traitor to their kingdom that tried stealing the power of a god and had it backfire on him? Adopt!
>Entire orphanage? "We were awarded a fort and farmland after that last quest, so we can give them food and shelter in exchange for manual labor." Adopt!
If nothing else, they're consistent.

>>44953470
sure

>>44949697
Chat with them over food and respond according to their situation. If their parents were alive, he'd want to return them. If they actually were orphans, he'd probably try to find a suitable facility for them where they would be well taken care of.

Well, unless they had particularly interesting qualities worth studying or notable magical aptitude. In that case, I hope they like heretical dark magic and shady research because he'd apprentice the hell out of those little scamps.

>>44950649
>he would probably just throw acorns at them until they gave it away.

I'm suddenly imagining Alphonse Elric whipping acorns at a small child at inhuman speeds to get what he wants. This amuses me greatly.

>>44949697
>Adopt kid and dragon
>Become best dad
>Retire after adventuring a few more year to raise my daughter and son right!

Becoming a parent will be the most difficult adventure I will ever have

>>44954144
This reminds me of that one thread where a villainous wizard continued to send children with magic weapons to kill some adventurers only for them to be continuously adopted by the party paladin.

>>44955162

That sounds hilarious and karmic.

>>44955162
Was he actually expecting them to successfully kill the player characters, or for them to kill the kids and have moral crises and such? Because just slowing them down by making them deal with a constant stream of needy, traumatized orphans seems like a plan in itself.

>>44954144
>Entire orphanage?
An entire orphanage Anon?
I feel at that point you're just enabling them...

>>44955740
They also befriended the matron running said orphanage.

And hey, if they like it, why not provide it? It's not like they're fucktards that roll cannibals or other 'edgy' shit. That guy got kicked in a half dozen sessions.

>>44949697
Adopt them like all the others

>>44952334
Yeah. Divayth Fyr was living the life. Shame that he had to die, really, but hey! Free Daedric armor!

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>44949697
roll to headpat

>>44949697
"Hey little girl, want to buy some lunchables? Trade you a dragon for them"

Kill, and kill. Check the two barrels and two crates for traps, loot the contents. Take the lamp and the helmet, have them identified. See if the dragon whelp corpse can be used to make dragon-hide equipment.

>>44956029
AD&D BOYS WW@

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>>44949697
>Dude, is that your human? You should really keep it on a leash, I think there's a law about that now.
>I hope you at least clean up after it. God knows you don't clean that lair you've got. There's cobwebs on your helmet, man.

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>Sensor cluster 14/c identified thermal emissions. Confirmed by camera. Unarmed human. Unidentified alien. No threat to mission exist.

>Drive units engaged at minimal power to approach. Approximately five hectares of forest crushed. VLS launch hatch 12 opened to 47 degree angel.

>Shelter provided to juvenile human.

>Seeking options. Personalty center damage reduces conversational abilities by 88.6%

>Statement selected.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND RANK, TINY HUMAN?"

>..Null Checksum. New Commander Located. Number 7 personnel hatch opened.

>>44949697
ask the gm what the fuck crepuscular meant and where they learned such a word

>>44956108
>crepuscular
Of, resembling or relating to twilight.
Highlight word. Right click. Search google.

>>44956138
obviously i could google the word but isnt the point of this thread to do what you would do if youre gm gave you that line?

>>44956153
Use my phone and google crepuscular, then move on

>>44956163
See thats what you would do anon but i wanted to know where my gm learned that word so i saw no reason not to hit two birds with one stone

>>44950858
>>44956108

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_shelter

This is literally what a "crepuscular cave" is, you mouth breathers.

>>44956176
Fair enough, then. Regarding the child and dragon.
Ask if I can share their shelter while I wait out the rain. Start a fire, share some rations with them, and try to figure out how they came to be in this situation, and what I can do to help.
>Current character is a neutral good paladin of the Oath of the Ancients.

>>44951261
He is a dragon

>>44949697
Ignore them.

>>44956051
>Tfw subreptile talks to you like it isnt also a higher slave
About as bad as kobolds.

>>44953664

That's what most of us is expecting: it's whether the party that they bump into have any of those qualities.

As guard-turned fighter, I would feed them and do my best to escort them to whatever guardian the child is meant to have. It's dangerous to be out in areas like this, missy!

>>44955162
>>44955426

>The evil wizard /hands/ the Paladin his own army to train and raise himself, weapons included

What a dumb wizard.

>>44955162
>>44955426
>>44956506
>the paladin's face when the last one arrives with a note from the villan;

>thank you for looking after all these kids; I know you'll give them a better life than I ever could

>>44950278
God I hate neutral/evil fags.
>I'm evil that means I have to murder everyone I see
>I'm neutral that means I have no emotions.
Those characters need to fuck off.

>>44950997
>equality is bullshit.

He's right you know.

All of you human betas are going to be cucked by superior minotaur cock.

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The small child of indeterminate species is deeply concerned as to why much of those the duo has encountered are of questionable moral caliber.

>>44956881
You know, that's what the Orcs said and we turned them from Hulking Green Mini-Ogres into fat pigfaced pasty pushovers. You just let me know if you prefer rare or medium-rare when cooked.

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The small child of indeterminate species and the even smaller dragon point out someone up high casting prismatic spray on a village in the distance, laughing gleefuly at the wanton destruction and murder of innocents.

>>44951219
>Threatened child jumps at you
>I rape her with vines. Am I intimidating her or not?

>>44953664
That child is obviously human. What do you mean by intermittent species? A better picture would be helpful.

>>44957285
The hair could be covering elf ears.

>>44957292
But really. White haired child that looks completely normal otherwise? It's a human. If you put on elf ears then it's an elf or half-elf. Nothing special really. The dragon looks too cartoonish to be of any actual use.

>>44950555

Take pride being a good father despite this shit.

>>44949697
It's a random encounter. I kill them both and loot their bodies for mats.

>>44957328
The kid can't be human. She's too damn cute.

>>44957328
>White haired child
>It's a human
Human children don't have naturally white hair, and since her eyes aren't red/purple she clearly isn't albino. Furthermore, it's unlikely to be the result of some kind of familiar bond or other sympathetic magic because the dragon is dark purple (although it also has blue eyes, so maybe she could be albino and got the eye color from her familiar. It's a bit of a stretch to assume that though since albinism and monofeatured familiar manifestations are both uncommon enough alone, and we don't actually know that the dragon IS a familiar to start with).

So either she's some sort of Elf, or she's got some kind of other magic shit going on. Hair turning white is a pretty common side effect of magical power.

>>44949697
The con man in my party tries to convince us to let him sell the girl and the dragon. The Devil probably tries to convince her to sell him her soul. The Golem is ambivalent. The Alchemist probably wants to try and get a hold of the dragon for study. My character probably tries to adopt her since she clearly has an affinity for dealing with magical beasts.

>>44953470
Yes, because unlike people who forbid gay marriage, jews are an actual threat to humanity.

>>44949697
The ADHD Assassin SQUEEs over child of indeterminate species' shiny, SHINY hair, immediately hugging said child and nearly suffocating the poor thing between her breasts. Also much petting of that adorable baby dragon.
The XBOXHUEG Weaponmaster berates the Assassin for acting like a Gods-damned idiot, then uses his blanket and one or two uprooted small trees and his blanket to form a makeshift lean-to for the kid. He then stands watch, grumbling about what the hell is a kid doing out here and the Gods-damned assassin being an idiot and- DON'T SMOTHER THE POOR THING, DAMMIT!
The Paladin whispers to the child that she, too has a dragon friend, and that if they come with them, they will probably be well cared for. She also determines if the child is human, or if it's a member of one of the Non-human races. If human she'll probably try to use her position as a Sixth Heaven Order member to bring this interesting child to the Empress' attention. If it turns out that the child is inhuman, She'll either contact her friends in Sammael to get the child amongst their own race, or adopt the child outright. Who knows, maybe the Empress will be able to make a new friend.

In order: Female Nephilim Daimah Assassin/Abelense Noble with a penchant for revealing kimonos and anything of the same gender, her grumpy but dependable Nephilim Jayan Weaponmaster bodyguard from Goldar, and the unfortunately along-for-the-ride Pure Ebudan Paladin/Knight of the Sixth Heaven Order/Sammael "spy" who's secretly a huge fangirl of the Empress.

>>44949697
Share some snacks
Ask where their parents are
Make bard accept responsibility for both of them (a recurring joke when meeting random orphans, especially when doing so under bizarre circumstances)

Give her a room in our stronghold and check on her between adventures.

>>44949697
Set her on fire. She's obviously a demon and us lawful "neutral" clerics and stuff can't abide by that. I mean, lookit that hair. And a smaller dragon? Just gotta kill the both before they trick someone else!

>>44949697
Adopt both the girl and the dragon. She'll make a fine Dragon Rider and adventurer along with the little guy.

>>44957571
Maybe she's over-saturated with magic?

Magic can do these kind of things.

>>44949697
I'd fuck her, then kill her in front of her companion.

Then i'd sell the little girl into slavery.

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>>44949697
Rape. The answer is always rape

>>44956863
Ever play evil as a serial killer who realized that they could get everything they wanted by killing the socially acceptable targets? Or taking advantage of when they get mugged to indulge a bit? Gets along well enough with the party, but he would always rather enjoy whatever he did.

>>44949697
>dragon
EVIL KILLKILLKILLKILL

there
that was my impersonation of my players
those fuckers

>>44959942
You should add some karmic mechanisms to discourage people from killing first and asking questions later.

>>44951268
Where else do you get apprentices to teach inappropriately dangerous spells to, anon? I mean, really now, you have to get them before their moral compass sets in or they end up considering what their actions might entail instead of just doing it and finding out what happens.

>>44949697
Tis a witch!
Burn her and the pet devil
Then we burn the closest village just to be sure

>>44957144

Well, to be fair, who doesn't do that from time to time?

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>>44949697
Feed them, give them a fire, learn their names, help them if you can.
having a Dragon Rider on retainer is nice, but having one as a friend is even better. Bonus points if they're actually psychopaths, because they don't ask questions when you want them to burn down orphanages; not outside of how dry the wood is, anyway.

>>44949697
I cast Detect Evil.
If evil: Kill immediately without hestitation.
If not evil: Give what food I can spare, give the child directions to the nearest town, then continue on.

>>44961637
>the child was wearing a reverse alignment charm
>despite being in the wilderness, everyone everywhere instantly knows what you did
What do?

>>44956095
Having a BOLO in the party would be all kinds of fun.

>>44961877
stop playing Fallout

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>>44950230
DEUS VULT

>>44951261
I hate that kid so much that it hurts my head whenever he smiles.

>>44949697
Can I get a sauce on the image?

>>44949697
Changling Rogue- Tries to impersonate the child
Pixie Bard - Tries to play with the two
Bugbear Rogue - Hides like always, may try to kill the dragon
Dwarf Swordmage - Acts gruff, tries to figure out how to best use the two to further his clans goals
Elf Ranger - Acts indifferently to them, keeps eyes on them just in case

I think that's pretty accurate...

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>>44950230
DEUS VULT

>>44949697
Give food of course. Doesn't matter that we're all murder hobos, there's no XP to be gained from harming a child...

>>44962863
http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=612602

>>44963963
thanks anon! Once I can log on properly, I'll look them up!

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>>44949697
>I roll to seduce

>>44965558
I really hope no one in my group would actually do this, but still might happen with that gaggle of freaks...

>>44965646
if my character's culture allows romantic relationships with children , would that response be justified?

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>>44965734
Well, if someone else's culture responds to "romantic" relationship with children with violent and savage beatings of the adult perpetrator, possibly to death, would that be justified?

>>44965734
>tangible magical realm
This is a pedo-free zone

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>>44965889
>whole party from NotArabia
>no guards or others nearby

wheres the problem

>>44965980
>>44965734
>>44965889
>>44965981

when playing a story with immersive cultures , these things could also play a role , why not let the player roleplay as someone with this kind of personal morals?

it isnt any worse than people playing murderhobo edgelords if you think about it

>>44966047
>being a fantasy badass is on par with being a pedophile
I get that this is bait but come on son

>>44966079
no , seriously

>killing children
>having sex with them

both are shit on equal levels , but somehow violence is more acceptable in-game

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>>44966151
No one said it was acceptable to kill helpless children either- unless you're in a "LG paladin vs. orc babies wut do" thread.

>>44966196
>Paladin v. orc babies
Duh, you raise then all as the next generation of Paladins to smite all the Evil. It would be if the Space Marines said fuck it, "The Orcs work for the Emperor" there's no downside to this.
More Blood for the Blood God.

>>44949697
First I make our Half-Ogre Barbarian stop scaring her half to death.

Then I carefully inform her that squatting on someone's land without permission is against the law, and help her to the nearest homeless shelter or orphanage, where she can get her share of food and rest as lawfully mandated by the high courts. I then remind her that harboring animals without the proper license is highly illegal, especially for a non-standard animal species, and recommend that she heads to the nearest constabulary on the following morning so she can file an application form for pet ownership. Finally I suggest to her that she applies to any of the numerous work programs for the homeless, so she can earn some coin and afford proper lodging, as the next lawman that finds her squatting where she shouldn't will not be as merciful.

[Lawful Neutral Intensifies]

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>>44950230
DEUS VULT

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>>44949697
>w-who are you
>are you the f-fairy i am looking for?
>no...?
>are you h-hungry?
>you dont like b-bugs?
>y-you are w-weird..
>do you w-want to travel w-with us..?
>y-you have a s-s-squishy face

i then proceed to supply the needy creature with a dish of bug-free nutritional matter and a fluffy bear-fur sleeping overall

this must suffice until i find a fairy to retrieve mr.teddy

>>44949697
Sounds like free EXP

>>44950997
> equality is bullshit

Bruh you're the guy that Anita Sarkeesian's schlicked to the existence of

You give them power by being a perfect opponent to them

>>44967097
that octopus is adorable

>>44949697
Adopt them, raise the girl to be my sidekick and together we ride the dragon into battle

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>>44967118

>>44950997
Well memed friend.

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>>44967434
U kno it nigga.
Now I have to return to my facade of hating that shit to retain my fake internet respect.

>>44967555
Are you me?

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>>44949697
Try to determine their true nature.
Then, if they aren't an enemy, probably raid the barrels for food and show them how to cook it.
>"It's a long way from safety. Do you have any parents or relatives nearby?"

>>44967688
Statistically yes.

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>>44967097
>y-you have a s-s-squishy face

>>44957571
>Human children don't have naturally white hair
Stopped reading right there. Everything else is just more proof you are completely retarded.
You don't even know what a Platinum Blonde is.

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The small child of indeterminate species does not appear to be human.

>>44968646
>i roll to hug
>which skill do i use?

>>44949697
>Your party encounters-

Kill, loot, eat what we can't loot, burn what we can't eat, continue on our way.

Then trying to figure out how I encountered a child and dragon since I'm currently piloting a fuckhuge battleship through space.

>>44957144
Wait, who's the one laughing gleefully? The child or the dude casting prismatic spray on the village?
>>44956911
I mean, there's no doubt that my character is of questionable moral caliber and has been known to take amusement in the suffering of others, and almost certainly leans towards evil, but even he wouldn't approve of the senseless murder of innocents. Even if it was funny.

If it's the child who's laughing, it would probably lower her chances of being left at some orphanage because she might be a danger to the other children. However, it might make her a more ideal candidate for an apprentice.

Then he'd go hunt down the dude shooting rainbows at everyone, because that's really just not the sort of thing to be doing. It'd be hard to get shit done if people just went around killing people every time they thought it'd be funny. Besides, people are more useful, interesting, and amusing when they're alive.

>>44968713
Str - Bear Hug
Dex - Cuddly Hug
Con - Warm Hug
Int - Awkward Hug
Wis - Supportive Hug
Cha - Lewd Hug

>>44969022
>Dexterity highest stat
cuddly hug yay

>>44969022
do i include grapling skill?

>>44969198
Only for struggle snuggles

>>44969022
What do we roll for head pats?

>>44969401

UNARMED

>>44969401
Sanity

>>44969469
Hers or mine?

>>44969558
Yes

>>44958422
Sure, okay, whatever you say.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>44969612

>>44956095
I like this.

>>44956333
No, his brother is a dragon. Yugo is an Eliatrope.

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>>44956095
Fantastic post.

>>44967285

They're thinking of naming it adorablis because of this fact.

>>44971367
Awesome. We need more cute critters.

Speaking of, anyone got stats for quokka?

I eat them both.

>>44972434
Ah, you have a sweet tooth huh?

>>44949697
Avoid the DMNPC at all costs, to no avail, and then reassess how good the game is to decide whether I should continue.

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ASDFGHJKL
Will they live happily ever after /tg/?

>>44974518

Does the small child of indeterminate species not age?

Because it's looking more like a happily almost ever after followed by eons of soul-crushing loneliness.

>>44975640
Assuming the dragon doesn't live just as long but in an adult form

>>44975640
If I remember right, dragons tend to hit that size relatively quickly for their lifespan, maybe roughly 50-100 years tops, but then stay that size or grow much slower after that. So that's likely just a young adult form.

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>>44974518

Yes they will.

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>>44949697

>>44978321
Dont be that guy, anon! There is still time to back away from them!

>>44949697
Adopted immediately. Your life just got sick as fuck little girl. Watch this barbarian chug a mug of wolverine afterbirth.

>>44978005
Oh boy

>>44979565
>mug of wolverine afterbirth.
That made me gag a little...

>>44979565
Chug! Chug! Chug!

>>44949697
We'd invite them into the winnebago since we're traveling cross country anyway, the sniper would probably ignore them and be rather quiet since that's how she rolls, the scientist would be maternal since that's how she rolls, my character would probably bake something while trying to not toss the sniper out for shooting her in the past since that's how I roll when not driving, and the female luchador would probably get excited over the dragon and ask where she found it since one of her life goals is to get a dragon of her own.

>>44949697
how exactly can a cave be crepuscular

>>44980249
>>44956190
ah i see

i have never seen the word used that way before but to be fair its not a word thats used very often in any way.

>>44949697
I offer to give them food and shelter, then act surprised when the dragon roasts my Neutral Good ass with his fire breath. After 30 minutes, or until my skin is golden-brown, the girl and the dragon proceed to chow down on my flesh.

>>44979906
But you know he'd do it

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>>44950037

As DM, I consider myself a vehicle of karma.

No one saw your crime, so no one will speak of it, no one will bring you to justice and no one will exact vengeance.

Until one day you wake with a start, but no one is there... I hope you're very careful with your wards.

>>44949697
This is why I put points into Sense Motive.

>>44949697
>party 1
Wolf Priest will try to hug them, everyone else will try to figure out where they came from and if they're heretics while arranging to make them comfortable and safe under the assumption that they aren't heretics, since their guns are already loaded in case of heresy. White Scar will sneer about disgusting mortal frailty, but pitch in anyway because he's a pragmatic elitist, not an asshole.
>party 2
Cleric will magic up a campfire and some food, Druid will probably make sure the dragonling is healthy, ex-bandit cohort will braid the kid's hair, Rogue and Monk will play Good Crim/Bad Cop to verify that they're trustworthy before hugging them.
>party 3
Twitchy machine men who stink of vodka, blood, and gunpowder hug the kids, tell them everything is going to be okay, and fortify the cave while cooking an unidentifiable but tasty dinner for the kids.
>party 4
The psyker's Sororitas handler will probably hug the kid and seriously consider purging the dragon, while half the Astartes try to figure out where the kid came from by looking for tracks and the other half by talking to her and to each other. Not sure about the psyker; she's a bit unpredictable. I blame the PR11 Warpiness she channels through her brainmeats to make heretics fry.
>party 5
More hugs and wary suspicion, this time from a quartet of samaritan scavengers wandering the post-apocalyptic wasteland with enough guns to level a city block.

>>44949697
>i weave her hair into braids against her will and tell her of my wonderful , bittersweet homeland , the highlands while my comrades are doing stuff and building the camp

>by the time they are done , she will be so fascinated about my cultural background that she will dance the dance of "donttouchmeniggeriamgoingtocutyofingersoff" from my hometown

>>44956095
>47 degree angel
Might be a good name for a band.
Awesome post, by the way.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>44949697
Roll to smite, not gonna fool me with this facade. I know that is yet another wyrm-turned who will no doubt enter a draconic fury and attempt to kill me once given the order from her master, the storm dragon that has been plaguing these canyons.

>>44951434
Fudo was awesome, a badass even among the other badasses in the series

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>>44951618
>First mistake everyone always makes is pointing fingers at magical creatures and asking them questions they won't understand.
>Know what that looks like? Spellcasting to those with bad Spellcraft checks.
I have never thought of it that way and now I'm going to keep this in mind for all future sessions

>>44949697
>GM had my character's daughter sacrificed in a blood ritual

I adopt it and cry myself to sleep every night and do my best to be a good father every day. The dragon is now named Mr. Wiggles.

>>44982514
>Mr. Wiggles
I giggled a little

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>>44949697
Ah fer fuck's sake NO WE AIN'T BUYIN' YOU PLATE-EYED PRICK

The plot already has one sweet kid in it being raised by everyone and a shitload more mascot creatures! FUCK OFF.

Goddamn economy. Ruined everything. Can't go shopping here for a single plot point without running over a baker's dozen of fruity fucking lolis out for a job. Do any of you kiddy-diddlin' degenerates know if there's any good Weird Faerie Shit To Fuck The Party With on sale? I got a game Thursday and I ain't cooking my plot the night before again.

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>>44949697
Oh god not again. What's her class? Her default weapon? None? Nothing? Whatever. She gets the Ice Claymore and a pendant that shits lightning from Jupiter. We'll drop her ass back off at home base when we wind back. Welcome to the squad, kid. Half of us are former recused Princesses. You know what happens to everyone we rescue and find?

We unload the older equipment onto them and draft them into the squad and make them grind levels, that's what. This is your life now. But hey, we got sloppy joe mondays, and all the shitty beer you can drink.

>>44957144
That's a rainbow.
srsly guise, your suspension of disbelief is so good, you've levelled it up to "gullible"

>>44956095
You playing some kind of maxxed out engine heart?

>>44956190
come on anon, don't get so angry.
Some ppl here have language barriers, they might be from the south.
Others might just not have enough vocabulary

>>44951618
Except in nechronica, where language barriers aren't actually a thing.
The biggest question would be "how is it possible for them to be alive??"
Maybe the PCs will have a sudden onset of "the munchies"

>>44983046
This is oddily appealing, but is also unappealing from the sheer fact thayt the act is essentially like drafting hostages directly as soldiers.
I'm conflicted.

>>44961991
Agreed

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>>44970607

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>>44983308
This is war, kid. War against reality. Of course we're gonna child soldier and give the Princess levels in Berserker, I want those fucks able to lop off a demon's dick at five paces if it comes down to it. No adopted daughter of mine is gonna ride on free meals and magic toys without at least an hour of sword practice a day and the ability to rob future potential kidnappers of at least three market-sellable organs. Besides, they don't fight, they train at home! Unless the sirens are on. Then everyone fights. Everything fights. Everything. We're saving their asses from being helpless in the narrative and thus easy fodder.

NOT TODAY, SATAN

NOT TODAY.

>>44949697
Im a paladin so I give them some food if I have an urgent task to complete. Otherwise, offer to bring them to the nearest town I know. Once there, get some healers and such to look over them, make sure they're not injured/sick and then drop them at one of the centers of my order. The will be raised to become a powerful warrior-dragon combo loyal to the order.

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>>44983411
Oh that seems very nice of yo-

>The will be raised to become a powerful warrior-dragon combo loyal to the order.

AH HAH

BLACKGUARD SPOTTED

>>44983423
Nah, just a paladin of a Goddess of War. Specificially the Martial Honour section. Theres another god for the ''shank them any way you can'' section of things.

She will become a defender of the just and good, either as a Fighter, a Paladin or a Cleric.

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>>44983442
Deciding her entire life for her, which is to be a war machine, and just dropping her off to be on your way. Sounds like Blackguard talk to ME, boy. Goddess of War my ass, I don't see you wearing no toga.

>>44983470
Hey, I didn't say my character is particularly smart. Dudes rocking a -1 int modifier, he probably wouldn't give any thought to it.

As to raising her as a warrior, thats more down to the order I guess. Generally the Goddess tends to get involved in things so they'd probably just have the kid as a mascot unless the goddess told her to become a warrior. Destiny and all that shit. Its what happened my dude.

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>>44956095
And that's saved.

>>44974518
>>44978005
What is this interspecies relationship
It cant be
How
I feel giddy

>>44983358
>NOT TODAY, SATAN
>NOT TODAY.
So... do you have adequete facilities and supplies for this? Some kind of proper fort?

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>>44983490
Oh Christ. You're even worse. An idiot Paladin working for a weightlifting cult. You know what, fine, there was no hope anyways, I hope she enjoys her gains and free headband. Poor little shit.

>>44983524
Weightlifting cult? Nah mate.

See, hes a paladin. He needs to be a tough cunt, right? Otherwise, hows he gonna be a meat shield for the innocent? Now, the order takes a... harsh approach to that. In the later stages of training, he was beaten with planks to toughen him up, Muay Thai style. He may have taken a few too many blows to the head.

this is actually helping me work out what paladins in his order undergo, thanks. Dunno how theyd train charisma though. Public speaking?

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>>44983540
>Dunno how theyd train charisma though.

HOW DO YOU FUCKING THINK?

>>44983550
Assuming one doesn't take the ''charisma is how hot you are'' approach, that is.

How do you train someone to be charismatic? To have great force of will, to be confident and persuasive and all that. Do you train them as a public speaker and in rhetoric and shit? How does that translate to being able to call on divine power?

>>44983580
You're fucking thick in the skull and so full of gains that it translates into willpower. You're so brotastic and a part of a giant muscle cult that people just think you're a cool dude to listen to.

>>44983622
Interesting idea for a muscle cult. Doesn't really apply here but thanks anyway I guess.

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>>44962536
>implying you're not just jealous of the Grade-A pussy he pulls

>>44983801
Damn fine wingman maneuver.

>>44949697
>crepuscular

I don't think you know what that word means friend. A cave can't be crepuscular.

>>44983828
>bim

>>44957571
Human Alibinos can totally have blue eyes though.

>>44983856
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_shelter

>A rock shelter (also known as a rockhouse, crepuscular cave, or abri) is a shallow cave-like opening at the base of a bluff or cliff.

Try again, mouth breather.

>>44983856
What if the cave is actually a mimic?

>>44983522
>interspecies relationship
Yes Anon. The relationship is that of siblings, or near as dammit! Nothing else!

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>>44984373
I want it to be pure like you but I also want it closer
I want both and cute cuddlings
Help

>>44985379
>implying you can't have cute cuddling that gradually turns into slow, fluffy lovemaking
>implying you can't replace physical intensity with emotional intensity

>>44949697
Kill them both on principle.
Then burn the corpses.

Sorry for the edge, but we've encountered three loli vampires now, we're not taking any chances.

"Hey kid you seem like you've gotta story a real zinger of a tale I bet. Hi Riekard Townsley with the Lions Herald. I can see the headlines now...

'YOUNG CHILD FOUND IN CAVE WITH LAST DRAGON LEFT IN THE WORLD'

You'll be a star kid, a proper celebrity. Stick with me and you'll go far kid. I tell ya I'm talking bout dinners with the King, coffee with the Wizard On The Mountain and hell maybe even get to meet the resident son of a Celestial.

C'mon kid get yer stuff and let's go make some history."square

>>44986381
>three loli vampires
Tell your DM to stop trying to insert his fetishes into the game man

>>44985379
>elves and orcs can't crossbreed

>>44949697
My current Magus would train her to rob banks, just like him.

The dragon would be a distraction while he ran around and flipped vaults until it got old enough. He's a sapient golem, he'd live long enough to enjoy it. If the girl proves herself to be part of his "crew," he'll probably invest in hooking her up with something similar to immortality.

"Hey, girlie, if you become a Monk you're basically an immortal, and shit like that. Stick around, we'll be the ruling class of thieves. And yea, your weird dog can stay too."

>>44987852
It falls on a moot point now.

The three lolis were sisters, part of some Vampire coven thing. We lost two of our party to them, so no remorse. Any children we have come across have been quickly slain and burned, for fear of their possibly being more sisters.

The GM is pissed, but knows even mentioning a little girl will drive us into full Deus Vult mode.