Father, if you are so wise and just, why are these nails in my head?

>>44945854
>Because you chose to nail them again....faggot!

>>44945854
You refused to take them out you little shit

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>>44945854
Fuck your nails, why did I grow up in an atmosphere that was literally poison?

>>44946408
because reason, now cry about your crazy adoptive father more!

>>44946408
Mortarion is the Milhouse of all the primarchs

>>44946408
Mortarion is so alright it pains me.

Though, he actually seems like a decent Primarch.

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Who dares question the perfect and infallible plan of the Emperor?!

>>44945854
Because some morons thought it would be entertaining, stopping shit like this is why I'm making the imperium

>>44946548
Did you consult your mama again girlyman?!

>>44946548
Roboute of all the Primarchs knew the Emperor was not infallible, even if his ideals were very noble.

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Father, why are you telling your most intellectually rigorous and rational of sons to abandon his culture on faith based trust?

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>>44945854
>Father, if you are so wise and just, why are these nails in my head?

I tried to take them out, you cocksuck. It would have killed you. I decided to give you the blaze of glory death you WANTED instead of wasting you.

>>44946725
That's fucking dumb.

What could your other two sons have done that was so much worse than being a slavering mental cripple?

Father
Why do my brothers look so unalike from one another when we were of one seed

>>44946687
WOW,My mind and soul ARE splintering.....great.

>>44946849
Dad's a manwhore

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>>44945854
Father, why do we embrace war and tyranny over peace and democracy?

>>44946687
Son I'm going to level with you. these power can be very are incredibly unpredictable and extremely dangerous and you have an almost obsessive interest in it so for the time being could you not mess around with the universal powers that can set entire worlds ablaze in seconds.

>>44946478
I like Morty and I'm a loyalist, I actually understand his reasons for turning against the Emperor. He had better reasons than faggots like Perturabo or Angron

>>44947142
Funny that this is the one bit of advice the Emperor never actually gave Magnus.

>>44945854
>Father, if you are so wise and just, why are these nails in my head?

Nigga they were there when I found you.

>>44947347
His reasons were that he was racist against psykers. I don't like what the HH series has done with him.

>>44947599
That was part of it but he saw the Emperor as no different than the warlords of Barbarus

>>44947599

>Racist against psykers
>Gets so mad about it he joins the dark gods of chaos

Decision making was not his strong suit, was it?

>>44948124
He joined Horus. Horus then shanghaied him into the arms of Chaos.

>>44947069
Because that comes later. Why do you beat your children over bad news?

>>44946815
Being mutated. A lot.

Consorting with aliens.

See? Quick and easy to wave away something that will never be explained instead of wanting to know absolutely everything.

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>>44945854
Well, if I took them out of your head you would have died. And I won't have that happening.

>>44946408
Chaos shenanigans. Not what I wanted, just ask fucking Nurgle and Typhus for reasons.

>>44946687
Don't fuck around with the warp, that's what I wanted for you. Powerful psyker or not, the warp is not your personal playground.

>>44947069
Peace can only be if the galaxy bows to humanity. After that, you can have all the peace you want.

After all, nothing of that is my fault. If you weren't edgy kids who juuuust have to listen to some random chaos fags, everything could have been fine. But no, I'mma Chaos now! Fuck you dad! You don't even understand me!!!

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>>44946725
>I decided to give you the blaze of glory death you WANTED instead of wasting you.

EXCEPT YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE THE BLAZE OF GLORY DEATH I WANTED WAS ON DESH'EA YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!

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>>44950766
Oh fuck you Angron. Use the superior intellect I made you with just for once. I really didn't want my own son fall to some Chaos faggot, like your "brothers" already were. I mean, how can you not be thankful that you were saved? Instead of "Oh yeah, thanks for saving me from brutal slaughter and for giving me my own legion of superdudes" you were just like "Fuck you dad, all the other cool kids get to be brutally killed, only I don't! You don't even understand me dad!". Warp be damned, I was the one who actually cared for you! And if you had given me the chance, I would have found a way to safely remove the nails from your brain, because I am the fuckmothering Emperor!

>>44950971
>superior intellect
>sees his son have his brain fucked by the planet's warlords
>makes sekrit deals with them.

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>>44950998
I took that planet through nice and diplomatic ways, without starting another war that only leads to the death of humans. In exchange for that, I get to weaken Khorne a bit by taking out some of his cultist. Also, I get my son back into my custody, so he can be safe again and learn from myself. It's the perfect plan, except for the way Angron himself reacted to it. That was fucking groxshit.

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>>44950971
>I was the one who actually cared for you!
Get fucked dad. You dumped me in the Adamant Resolves hold and fucked off. You didn't even try to help remove the nails, you sent that scrawny psychic faggot to watch some apothecarys poke at my head for 8 hours. When Malcador told you they didn't have a clue what to do about it you left it at that and when back to playing with your train set.

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Is Angron the "I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU DAD" kid from those anti drug commercials?

>>44951821
Nope. That would be his children.

>>44951076
or you know, you could have beamed them up and disposed of them later, keeping that roided junkie happy.
just tell them they died of malnourishment or something,

>>44952305
Oh come on - one of his quotes has him complaining about constantly being forced to fight brutal war after brutal war against people who had no fight in them or would have capitulated.

Let's face it - Angron would be willing to change his story to whatever it took to justify the things that he did. The Nails made him into a violent killer, but he couldn't accept that and tried to blame everything and everybody but himself, and constantly found some new ideal to pretend to champion.

>>44948593
>One son turned into a horrible monster
>The other became Zaphod Beeblebrox

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>>44946408
FUCK YOUR COUGHING....WH...WHY AM I SO FUCKED

>the Chaos Gods that scattered the Primarchs across the galaxy
>it's the planets that they ended up on that fucked them up with poision, nails, ect
>ergo, it's not the Emperor's fault, it's the Chaos gods' fault.

>>44952847
well he had a real medical need to RIP AND TEAR because of the butcher's nails, but he pretty much used that as his excuse for why he was a bloodthirsty mofo. he pretty much embraced his violent killer persona

>>44947351
Thanks to Black Library, we now know the entire Horus Heresy could have been avoided with the Emperor having a few short non-dickish conversations with his kids.

But nope, the Emperor is Autisitc (the trait the Lion inherited) and can't understand why the Primarchs don't mindlessly obey orders.

Friendly reminder Sanguinius landed on a planet of horrible toxic waste, mutant cavemen and warped hellbeasts and came out as the broest and most stable primarch.

>>44946952
I read that in the voice of Magnus from If the emperor had a Text to speech device. I need my fix of Magnus!

>>44953865
I love that they made him australian for no reason

>>44952917

Alpharius was one mind in two bodies.
Curze was two minds in one body.

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I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME, FATHER

>>44953008
To be honest, Empy could have done something to help Angron. The fact that the Thousand Son's Psyker Medic was confident enough to remove the nails from Kharn was enough reason for the Emperor to try

>>44953980
Isn't his voice actor Australian?

>>44945854
Because my Child, you are entirely retarded.

>>44954386
>my son is retarded
>this I will let the implants eat his brain
>I will lead mankind to glory

wait a minute, when did the emperor ever claim to be, or appear to be wise and just? Dude was just strong and smart. Shit's different.

>>44955074
>submit yourself to my rule
>I am not wise and just and kind of a douchebag

>>44955142
>Man this dictator is really great
>usually they make some elaborate backstory to explain their right to rule, or try and sound all benign and make a ton of speeches
>But this guy? This guy is so brutally honest. I love it. Really refreshing, he's going to be a dick and he's not even trying to hide it. He's not even saying he's fit for the job!

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Dad...who am I?

>>44954271
yeah but they played on that by having his daemon friends also be aussies and also he was channeling a floating didgeridoo in one episode

>>44955404
Silly Alpharius, you're Omegon, I am Alpharius

>>44955482
I don't really get that. I guess they didn't want to try and sound Egyptian? Maybe it was for laughs? I don't get how being Australian is funny, but I could see that as the reason.

>>44954251
You should have tried being lovable.

>>44945854

Hey, that's really not the Emperor's fault. He tried.

>>44947347
>faggots like Perturabo

Well.... enjoy your new techno virus.

>>44947347
>Mortarion
not faggot
>PerturaBRO
faggot.
Poor anon, you have so much to learn...

>>44947069
Why is Perturabo hiding in a kitchen cupboard anyway?

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>>44955678
That was gold like the Sanguinary Guard.

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Thank you Father for making me not totally perfect, but still greater than this bunch of crybabies.

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>>44952917
Well, I had good intentions for you. You would have been one of my greatest Primarchs, and under my tutelage you would have learned to control and use your powers in a nice and constructive way. But these Chaos dicks sent you over to Space-Gotham, were you grew up to be a total loner/terrorist. And when I finally found you, you had the planet under control and immediately remembered me as your father, so I thought everything was okay. But I saw you were a bit lonely, so I gave you a whole army of terran superfriends to cheer you up. Didn't help though, that you replaced them all with the guys from Nostromo, they were a bad influence to you.

>>44954251
I love you son, but seriously: I don't want to be worshipped as some kind of God-Emperor of Mankind. Man-Emperor would be fine though. Remember what I told you through the Imperial Truth: Religion is for dummies. You can go and build a temple for the glory of MANKIND though. Have fun, my son.

>>44955404
You are Alpharius, of course. Is that a trick question or something? I mean, it is very obvious.

>>44957105
Ah, yes Roboute. I made you all with special abilities and skills in mind, and you are no exception. In fact, you have proven yourself by taking over Ultramar through rather peaceful means, which is great. But stop picking on your brothers, remember: we are one big, happy family.

>>44953556
It's worse than that. Not telling his sons about chaos when they were inevitably going to encounter it would have helped the astartes in practical, tactical ways as well.
>So, if you encounter green dudes with one eye and a horn sticking out of their head, switch to your power armour's internal air supply. There will also probably be some swarms of little fuckers trying to bring you down, so get your flamers ready.
But nope, let's let them learn this sort of thing through the deaths of many space marines, because they didn't have a fucking clue what was going on when they first met daemons.

>>44955404
I just can't get over how much swag the alpha legion have.

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Father, why did you even bother creating the others?

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>>44957182

>Didn't help though, that you replaced them all with the guys from Nostromo, they were a bad influence to you.

You double Anatolian, the Night Lords were batshit insane from the very start and you knew that given that you used them on Terra when they still numbered only in the hundreds.

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>>44957201
Well Rogal, I needed leaders for the 18 Legiones Astartes. After all, I am a busy man and have better things to do than going into lengthy wars all over the galaxy. But I also wanted sons, a family that understands me and my motives. It can get really lonely if everyone around you just dies within the blink of an eye. But you wouldn't die that easily, no...You wouldn't only be my sons, but also my companions, the way Malcador was. But closer, with ties of family between us.

Black Library was a mistake.

Fuck the Horus Heresy, read Index Astartes

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>>44957277
but them doubles tho

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>>44957220
They were not. Also, I don't remember creating a mutant abomination like on your pict. I made warriors out of them. I took pity on the children of criminal scum and made them to be champions for the human race. They should have been thankful!

>>44957201
why can't you lift a chainsword ;^)

RUSS

>>44946607
Anyway to back this up?

>>44956745
Top kek

>>44956745

To hide from the stare of Eye of Terror

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>>44954171

>>44957182
Was Dorn a fucking ginger?

>>44945854
lol you put them there you fucking retard haha go kill yourself you stupid piece of shit lol

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>>44956745
Go back to the Iron Cage, Dorn, you faggot.

>>44945854

Your fall was inevitable, my son. Check out /r9k/, they went just as psycho because they DIDN'T get nailed.

You literally can't win.

>>44957899
Graham McNeil pls go.

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>>44957920

>Glorious power shovel

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>>Father, I have returned to spread my message of peace and love throughout the Imperium!

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Brothers! Witness!
My hands are shiny and chrome!

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>>44957890
Has he pale skin with freckles and orange hair? No? Then he's not.

>>44958305
That is very nice and all, but first I want you to spread another message, loud and clear: The galaxy belongs to humanity, it is our birthright, our destiny. And no one else shall have it. Everyone who dares defying us, shall meet their end.

>>44958307
Take these damn gloves off, I do not want you to stick your hands into everything you see.

>>44958455
Dear Emperor. Why do you give the whole protecting/uniting humanity task to bunches of artificial children who may and may not be corrupted by the Warp instead of giving the task to your real children who are a powerful psyker and know lot shit about the peril of the warp?

>>44947351
it works because it doesn't really reveal the existence of the chaos gods its just some power that emps didn't want magnus messing with so no one could get hurt

>>44958596
Oh, deal with it. In Magnus vs Emperor's situation, clearly the Emperor is at fault in this one.

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>>44958527
I don't have any other children. I'm not even sure if I can reproduce through traditional means. I still have everything needed for it, but so far I'm not sure if anyone could even survive the mighty discharge of my powers into their body.
Also, making my children through artifical means gives me more control about how they will turn out as adults, as I can just make their DNA up as I want. Or at least it worked this way until these four warp dicks scattered my children throughout the galaxy.

>>44958307
Packin' some serious chrome there, chummer.

>>44958668
The episode of EttSD where they mentioned this was fucking hilarious

>>44957787
diff anon but hes literally the only primarch who had the undertakings of his own mini-imperium just incase shit went tits up
not blaming him at all, shit did go tits up, they just asked him to be incharge for a little while so I suppose that alone kept him from taking his big blue marshmellows and going back to his own campfire

>>44957182
Why is Roboute beating up Alpharius/Omegon?

>>44959006
The Codex Astartes specifies a Legion may only have one Primarch.

>>44959006
becuase hes a bully
>>44959019
pretty sure the codex doesnt say anything about primarchs
considering by the time it was written a third of them were dead and another third werent even apart of the imperium

>>44959006
They were sort of friendly(ish) rivals before alpha legion went heretic - with rowboat thinking their doctrines were inferior, and alpharius/omegon thinking the ultramarines doctrines were too predictable. They would compete. Like, alpharion would show off how well they could destroy entire planets with minimal losses to the ultramarines, etc.

>>44959054
Oh, and he killed Alpharius or not.

I am Alpharius

>>44959006
Because Alpharius is a wimp and needs to be taught about the glory of the Ultramarines.

>>44959155

The Ultramarines totally trust the Alphian Hydras. Of course, the Inquisitors have guessed the truth, and have dropped what they're doing to investigate. All according to plan.

If I were running it as an RPG, I'd have two plots prepared. One is where they are using the hydras to infiltrate the Ultramarines, one by one. In a chapter of a thousand marines, it only takes a few well-placed infiltrators before you can start intentionally recruiting more. One you have enough in leadership positions, you start using your control to start slowly eliminating loyalists. After all, some troops have to fall if the battle is to be won. It just always happens to be the loyal guys who do the sacrificing. Once only a few are left, you can simply bump them off. Hail hydra.

Alternatively, you subverted ONE guy, years ago. An assistant to a high-ranked adept in the Ministorum. His boss wasn't responsible for naming the Alpharian Hydras, but the clerk in the office across the hall was, and it was a simple matter to change the form. Two simple words changed in a form hundreds of years ago have sent echoes that distract the Inquisitors and sow suspicion in the Imperium.

I'll make the real one whichever plot the PCs think it isn't.

>>44959155
Eskrador never happened. It was a lie spread by Alpha Legion operatives.

I know, I'm Omegon.

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>>44959006
They don't really like each other...I think Roboute doesn't really understand why I need someone like Alpharius. If you want to build an Empire, you need someone who can operate in the shadows too, as not everything can be said and done openly. It was for the best of the Imperium, but sadly, Roboute didn't think so.

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Emperor, your grace!!
The knife-eared humanoids stopped shooting us and now want to treat . What we should do, my lord??
Keep shooting them??

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>>44961200
Of course, my child. Do not suffer the xenos to live.

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>>44961200
>>44961218
This other Emperor has the right idea. Shoot them, let none of them survive.

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>>44961218
>>44961390
It shall be done, my, -err-, lords!! We will erase these xenos!!

But now, they are speaking of dire things, like Chaos seeping into the Legiones and the Primarchs. Should we spare a few for interrogation?!

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>>44961690
There is no such thing as "Chaos", commissar. Don't believe a single word these filthy aliens spew forth. You are here to execute them, nothing else.

And if there really was a problem with my Legiones or my children, don't you think I would know about it?

>>44961690
>Chaos
>ever infecting the primarchs
Pffft, bullshit. The Primarchs are paragons of humanity. Just look at Angron! Dude's got everything together, I can't imagine how Chaos could get ahold of him.

>>44958924
>his own mini-imperium
sounds like a traitor

>>44957105
Roboute was one of the most immature primarchs in HH. He had a bone to pick with almost half of his brothers, and even admitted that he never saw himself as a son of the Emperor, nor a brother to the primarchs. Dude was seriously wanting.

>>44961796

I don't know. Magnus seems kind of off the reservation to me. I suggest we repeatedly complain about him without explaining why him doing what you always do is dangerous. Then give him draconian rules to operate under without any way to make sure he follows them, and then leave him off to his own devices.

I'm sure that's a winning plan.

>>44948593
>>44952906
I like my theory that since each of the primarchs were tampered with genetically, except the Lion (who was the control subject), for the second one the scientists were like "Well we got one boring normal primarch! Lets try something nuts with this next one!" then it back fired horribly so they toned it down for the rest.

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>>44962068
Don't you talk shit about my boy.

>>44962356
I told Magnus not to fuck around with the Warp, until I had time to teach him how to use it safely. Shouldn't be to hard to understand for such a smart guy.

It was the forces of Chaos who put you onto these places...Fucking faggots. You even sided up with them.

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>>44957922