Red flags in new players pt.2

>>44929201
Lolrandom, everytime I've had someone like that they did something stupid like kill are the horses halfway through a long journey.

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>>44929201
Stories mate. I got some popcorn and nothing to do.

Why would you post a wall of text and not start stories?

>>44929201
>She also has a problem of trying to start or get into conversations with NPCs that don't concern her.
How is this a problem?

>>44929474
OP's a fag.

>>44929201
Story time, op. I'd say the second player will be the most work and might not stay with the group. Fourth is just inexperienced.

>>44929474
Depending on the GM and the game, it can drag out or derail certain scenes. It's not a huge issue, but it's the deal where good roleplaying in one situation can be out of place in another.

>>44929201
Luna is doing better than she otherwise could be, anything problems look to be more from lack of experience than anything.

As for number four, keep an eye on him. It could be lack of roleplay experience or it could be That Guy waiting for his moment to strike. The edge could be lack of experience, but if he does end up spotlight hogging or cheating later, don't let that be an excuse.

>>44929201
Serena Boreesh is magical realm.

Rest seem fine.

OP here sorry friendos i started a game of ASSFAGGOTS and it lasted an hour typing this shit up now.

My red flags:

>female players
>men playing as female characters
>players who question why I never roleplay female NPCs because I'm not a faggot
>homosexual players
>transgender players
>players who like any anime
>players capable of basic social interactions
>human beings
>any form of life

>>44930317
I feel like TTRPGs might not be the best fit for you.

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>>44930317
But I love animes.

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>>44930317

Well met, my fellow sentient undead energy being!

>>44930317
Very funny. Although this makes me question now: how awkward would it be if my character was a middle aged female dragonborn? I figured it'd be fun to try to roleplay that situation, but I don't want to make things awkward.

>>44929201
Gonna green text this shit assuming that you guys don't want a novella
>Part 1 The meet up.
>Everybody arrives with john being 5 minutes late no problem i was still double checking the characters to be sure no fudging went on
>Start of game they start away from each other
>They either notice or are told by an NPC that some shit is going down at the outskirts of town
>They all go except Tyranius who ignores the person telling him
>Eventually goes when another NPC talks about looting after the fight
>They get there around the same time find a group of guards fighting an undead owlbear
>John runs in first attempting to knock the owlbear prone
>Bitch slaps him to the ground for half his health
>Luna fires an arrow from her longbow for full damage
>Serena heals john with cure wounds for a whopping 3hp
>Apologizes for low healing
>John:Bah healing is healing and you seem to be good at it now try the opposite on this damn bear thing
>Serena blushes and nods
>Tyranius Doesn't get past AC with his rapier
>John notices a nearby dry well
>Lures it towards there with his turn letting the others know his plan to knock it in
>Luna looses another shot hitting it again but for much less
>Serena casts bless on john, luna, and tyranius
>Tyranius hits with his rapier dealing decent damage
>Owlbear now infront of well bitting Tyraniuses head knocking him into crit
>John: I drop kick the bastard into the well
>19+3+2
>Fucker goes flying but survives hitting the bottom
>John alright find some straw lets start a bearbaque
>Eye rolls but all in all good fight
>Serena remembers about critted tyranius and heals him up
>Tyranius: You should have healed me sooner if i died you people would have been screwed!
>Serena looks down
>They go to a tavern after being payed for the help
>All sit around a table except Tyranius who literally goes to a corner alone and looks over the other patrons
>Gets food and tries to persuasion a free meal
Cont.

>>44930317
You had me going for a second there. Bravo, anon.

>>44930878

Just curious, what system is this? Rest assured, it's only because I want to silently judge you for using [x] system that is bad for some reason.

>>44931020
I'm going to assume D&D based on the signals.

>>44931020
Seems like D&D so far.

Plus, when you don't specify, it's usually safe to assume D&D.

>>44930878
>Fails and pays normal price
>Tyranius:I eat without taking my mask off
>Like you move it up?
>No i keep it on and eat
>You explained the mask as one of those ballistic masks just made of thin material and white instead of black
>Well i don't take my mask off
>Alright you cut the food into tiny bits and fit them under the mask's chin
>They ask the bartender for jobs and he directs them to a wall with papers for different jobs
>All want to go check out a disappearance of some kid at a "Haunted" manor at the edge of town
>John suggests go help farmers with wolf problem and they agree as they dont know whats in the manor and could be to weak
>Farmers tell em they come at night and they stake out the area finding the wolves going under a hole in the fence
>Luna tries to talk the wolves down
>Enrages them farther with a nat 1
>John takes about 3 damage but power bombs the wolf killing it
>Luna kills another after apologizing
>One remaining wolf runs away
>Luna wants to bury the wolves or bring them back to the forest to feed the land
>Tyranius kicks one and says they should get the pelts to sell or wear
>Argument thats settled with John agreeing to bring em into the woods and leave them
>Head back to town after the farmers pay them and take up a job to find bandits base or at least kill the ones stalking the roads
>Find one and track him home almost get noticed but thankfully stay in the trees
>Find a small group of tents around a cave where the bandits seem to be staying
>Spot five bandits inside and start planning on how to go about the murder of said bandits
>John:I got an idea you guys get ready to flank em il distract
>Everybody gets decent sneak rolls and get in position
>John wears shirt as cape
>Puts a bag over his head and cuts eye holes
>Jumps on a crate at the edge of camp and strikes a pose getting their very surprised attention

>>44931244
>>44931097

B-but how am I going to post a passive-aggressive greentext about how bad the system/D&D edition he's using and completely derail the thread if I don't know what it is?

Oh fine, you win this day.

>>44931292
You could still do that...People will still not like you, but you can still do that.

Tyranius seems like a choch by the way.

>>44931259
>>Alright you cut the food into tiny bits and fit them under the mask's chin

97.21% EDGE

>>44930878
Yes this is D&D 5e
>John i mean BAGMAN!:I hope you have eaten well evil doers! For i BAGMAN! have seen your sins and the only bag you will receive today. Is a body bag!
>Elbow drops the biggest guy with a nat 20 killing him
>Rest of group kill the very confused and afraid bandits from behind
>Luna hits a guy with an arrow and finishes him off with her short sword
>Serena knocks a guy down with his tribal club
>John finishes him off with a throat punch
>Tyranius gets an 18 and crits with his rapier through a guys heart
>Tyranius: I look in his eyes and tell him "Goodnight.."
>Last guy tries to run
>Johns having none of that and chucks a barrel at him yelling "Evil never escapes the BAGMAN!"
>Tie him up for later questioning and loot up the camp
>Find a note showing the robberies weren't random and it seems that these bandits were hired by some third party
>Question bandit about it after threats of execution back at the city he says that he was hired along with the others to attack anybody who tried to go into town that had a anything that seemed to be magic related
> John starts untying him but tyranius stabs him with his rapier
>Guy lives

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>>44931343
He basically looks like pic related.

>>44930317
Lich players are always the worst.

OP: It's really important that you know just how shit of a DM you are. But more than that, you also need to know that at least half of your players are literal cancer and should never be allowed to touch dice again.

For everyone's sake, I hope there is no session 2.

>>44929201
John Ton Anec is your best player, anon. I bet he's good at giving bad guys an attitude adjustment.

>>44931484
You seem like you're loads of fun around the table. Eat a dick, he's playing with new players.

>>44930317
That last one is the biggest red flag of all

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>>44930878
My DM dealt with an edgelord in a pretty creative way you might try. When the player declared that he was going to the shadowy corner of the tavern, DM said it was occupied. Player tied going to every corner of the bar and DM declared that each one was occupied. Someone (don't remember who) asked jokingly (and a little drunkly at that point in the night) if it was the same person in all the corners.

So it was that our group met the minor god of shadowy corners in bars, who occupies every shadowy corner of every bar in the entire universe.

Liking John and Serena. He better teach her about the virtues if hustle, loyalty and respect. Tyranius however...

>>44931395
Bagman is the hero this edgelord deserves.

>>44930878
>Guy is screaming in pain and trying to get out of his half untied rope
>John is freaking out as he doesn't break promises and everybody else is discussing rather at this point killing the guy would be the best decision
>John picks him up and runs to a nearby house
>Kid opens the door and sees a shirtless man with a bag on his head holding a guy with a whole in his lung
>Kid calmly closes the door then screams for his parents
>John drops the guy and leaves a note with 5 gold asking that the people take care of him the best they can
>Gets back to group and berates Tyranius for trying to murder a tied up unarmed man
>"Whatever, it was foolish to let him live"
>Get back to city and inform the guard of their findings
>Head guard thanks them and puts a little extra in their reward for the findings
>Last job they decide to check out strange noises coming from a funeral home (This was supposed to kick start the actual main story)
>Some guy in a black cloak is stealing a elf's corpse with the help of two skeletons
>John wants to front flip kick him
>nat1 ends up jumping into a coffin and hurting his hand on the way in
>Serena tries to turn undead and succeeds in killing one skeleton other skeleton picks up the dead ones femur and bats Luna over the head for 4 damage
>Luna misses with bow
>Tyranius misses with rapier
>John stand up holding the coffin and falls on the cloaked man trapping him
>Skeleton crits Luna with the femur knocking her into crit
>Serena heals Luna
>Luna heals herself
>Tyranius gets a nat1 with his rapier and loses it inside the skeletons ribs
>Coffin shakes violently with john and the cloaked man fighting in a very tight space
>Man tries to say something but john shoves his mask into his mouth to silence him
>Skeleton pulls out rapier as his new weapon
>Serena hits it with her tribal club
>Luna finishes it off with her bow at point blank
>They remember john and take off the coffin just as hes putting the cloaked figure in a headlock

>>44931720
John is the greatest, anon. Even if he's not Cena

>>44931588

As good a plan as any.

Also, Yuusha Yoshihiko image? Nice.

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>>44931854
That pic has been floating around /TG/ for a while now.

>>44930878
>Man quickly tries to swallow a pill before john tightens his grip
>John: OH no you dont!
> Tries to put his mouth over his and suck the pill out
>Doesnt work
>Guy dies while telling them how screwed they are for disrupting his masters plans
>Search the guy and find a list of races with Elf and Aasimar the only types not crossed out
>Also find another pill and a healing potion
>Realize a third undead creature is watching them a slightly rotted crow
>Takes flight when they notice
>Tyranius argues that it shouldnt be able to fly if its undead as it has nothing to fly with
>Drops it after i remind him my words were slightly rotted and they had to pass a spot check to notice it was undead
>Follow it and nearly lose it
>It flies into the "Haunted" Manor
>They have a rest and boot in the door
>Ended session there.
IMO it didn't go as bad as it could and John was able to be funny while not being derailing or retarded. Left out some minor shit from the greentext but its nothing too important.
Tyranius brought outside food which you weren't supposed to and we took the break right after they questioned the bandit guy but not before he got stabbed. Everytime they got back to whoever gave them a job Luna would pipe up saying her group completed the mission or but into minor conversations but again nothing much. Also keeps the wolf in her backpack and lets it peek its head out to help warn her of dangers other than feeding it and it barking at the crow it never came up ingame.

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>>44931259
>John takes about 3 damage but power bombs the wolf killing it

>>44931720
I feel sorry for anyone getting in John Ton Anec's way. Edgelord could learn from him.

>>44931942
>Also keeps the wolf in her backpack and lets it peek its head out to help warn her of dangers other than feeding it and it barking at the crow it never came up ingame.

That's adorable.

I bet her backpack is full of poops now.

>>44931484
2bh I would have thought the same before but they seem to be doing ok.

>>44932297
Aside from Tyranius.

>>44930317
>>female players
>>men playing as female characters
>>players who question why I never roleplay female NPCs because I'm not a faggot
So you run a strict males-only world? Sounds like a magical realm.

>>44934946
desu senpai if you're a human being you should just kill yourself

only chairkin allowed in my games

>>44931395
Save yourself some trouble and talk with Tyranius' player now. The way I see it, he does not mesh well with the party...

>>44931484
Not him, but go fuck yourself anyway!

>>44929201
OP, you still here? Do you like your party so far? Would you like some tips on how to deal with that edgelord?

>>44931459
>Lich players are always the worst.
>fleshfag can't handle the bantz
T.Y.P.I.C.A.L.

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>>44931775
>Not Cena
>Ton Anec

>mfw I didn't notice reading this story.

>>44935119
How do you feel about table-kin senpai? >>44931484
That seems a bit harsh, though I will admit that is OP wants to become a good DM he's going to have to make his story more coherient and less random, as it right now it sounds like they're randomly going from one killing to the next.

>>44930002
does magical realm have no meaning any more

>>44936258
Owlbear was a random encounter to see how the party gels together, but the rest seemed breadcrumbs towards plot. First session with a new group, too early to judge much.

Plus he's greentexting with focus on round by round reporting, that looses some RP detail.

>>44936317
Anon, it wasn't just an owlbear, it was an undead owlbear.
I think it was more than just random.

>>44936384
Still is an encounter that doesn't directly lead to plot, so I stand by my estimate.

>>44936258
I'm sorry, when your game consists of going to a tavern owner and being pointed towards a board full of job ads, you're not only not a good DM, you are so far away from comprehending the job of a DM you probably won't ever find your way back.

>>44929201
I was going to say last thread that to be fair the rogue could have rolled those stats and he sounded more money hungry then edgy

Time to read and find out if my optimising was well founded

>>44930715
As long as you stay true to bahumet it will be fine

Unless your playing one of those shitty new dragonborn.

>>44930317
I was all ready to call you a fagot at first there

>>44936302
To be fair op did say she was a little healslutty but it will probably turn out fine

>>44936474
>badwrongfun

do please explain the problem here

im sure you were an expert dm from day 1

>>44936530
Again, how is "kindly healer" magical realm

do words not fucking mean things? Did OP at some point.say that Cure Light Wounds involved a quick wank? What the fuck is happening

>>44931942
Wait why is it a problem that he brought food

Don't get me wrong the guy has some problems he might still be salvageable though

But I don't see a problem with food

>>44936553
I think it was nore the stuff about the appoligising for poor healing and stuff like that

I dont think it's magical realm but there's a small possibility

A very small possibility

>>44936553
It's like the difference between calling a character "little girl" and "loli".

Healslut has slut right in the name. It refers to the memecap of healers being sluts, "healing the tank's cock" and so on.

Old established nonsexual designation is healbot. But OP uses healslut.

However, it is actually unclear whether the cleric is actually healslut or if OP is just memeing by himself.

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I'm honestly dismayed by the number of people saying how great John Ton is. He sounds like an annoying player who has to make everything a ebin reddit meme. The whole bagman shit is taking it too far. It's not always bad to play a larger than life crazy character that has his moments, but that's taking it way too far. Why would he put a bag on his head? For the upboats? It's just randumb humor.

>>44936814
You may have a point

>>44936814
The reason is because /tg/ is made up of fucking retarded players who think successful gaming consists of making the most "epic greentext stories".

They play games simply to aspire to have stories of their character shared forever because of how over the top and ridiculous they are.

Frankly, the whole "eating with the mask on thing could work if played for comedy. You start by accepting food or drink and simply state you return the empty plate or cup. It'd be a fun footnote, but ultimately inconsequential, making the other characters possibly discussing it during banter. Had that happen with a character once who had his lower jaw replaced by an air filtration system.

>>44937300
I think it was a situation where the player was so annoying there was no way to make the mask thing work that way, it would just be giving him what he wants.

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>>44936814
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU'RE HAVING BADWRONGFUN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>44937514
If you want to be an idiot, you're free to be an idiot, just don't be surprised when people call you out on it, referential humor and "random" are lazy and stupid, only to be enjoyed by lazy and stupid people. This is "meet the Spartans" level humor.
Watch how easy it is too make a "funny" character.

Let's make a druid who is always smoking dank weed, and whenever an NPC offers the party a rewards he requests to be paid in pot. Am I funny now?

>>44937614
>Let's make a druid who is always smoking dank weed, and whenever an NPC offers the party a rewards he requests to be paid in pot. Am I funny now?
Joke's on you. I'm using that for my next char.

>>44936637
They played at a shop, I assume it's the shops rules not the players.

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>>44937614
You reply to the shit response, but not legitimate sounding responses.

>>44938504
The only people other than the shitpost that replied to me were other people agreeing with me. So it would be pretty pointless, that or replied to the wrong person.

>>44938529
Fair enough.

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>>44937983

>using a druid, not a High Wizard

>>44936447
>Undead owlbear
>Bandits tasked to duck up anything magical
>Magic skeletons kidnapping corpses for experiment
>Magic undead crow flies off to manor
Sounds like the perfect beginning for a plot. Just because they didn't have a messenger explain to them for an hour about the inteicicasies of politics they're about to get into doesn't mean there's no plot.

>>44936447
>Undead owlbear
>Not a red flag for necromancer shenanigans

>>44937614
So what? Eventually they will grow out of their randumb fun and do something else.

You're just being a cunt saying that they're idiots. Just like calling kids childish and stupid: yes, sure, they are. But you're a dickhead for insulting them.