Hey, /tg/, let's make up some magical items.
Cursed, blessed, mundane or completely broken, it doesn't matter as long as they're interesting.
I'll start it off.
Accursed, sentient weapons formed from a bizzare organic substance of unknown composition. It can come in a variety of forms, from longbow to recurve. Other than its strange appearance, their is no noticeable difference between drawing it and a mundane wooden bow of the same design.
However, the difference becomes apparent when an arrow is successfully launched from the bow. Rather than the expected mute sound usually accompanying an arrow shot, the bow instead releases an ear-piercing wail like the demented howl of a beast. While this seems like a pure malus in terms of stealth, this scream imbues a horrifying effect upon shot arrows known as 'Destruction Resonance'. Any arrow shot from a wailing bow has the ability to resonate on the frequency that allows it to either disintegrate or completely pierce whatever physical or magical barrier impedes it. Expectedly, this has a devastating effect on living beings, turning organs to slosh and sundering bone like wet clay.
Another strange effect of these bows are their ability to imprint on a wielder. Once used by a wielder for a significant amount of time, they will often develop bizzare behavioral quirks such as screaming when they perceive the wielder to be in danger, or outright refusing (viaintense wailing) to be wielded by anyone but their imprinted wielder, even if that wielder is dead.
Their terrible destructive potential combined with often obsessively loyal and clingy personalities have made wailing bows one of the most feared weapons in the land, for both their wielders and victims.
A clay ring just seems to be a child's creation from ordinary clay into a rough ring. What happens when you put it on is that you have a sudden realization that your tongue is no longer in a comfortable position in your mouth and that you are no longer automatically breathing.
Does it force your tongue down your throat, or nullify the automatic process of breathing?
I'd say the second is more terrifying, sleep would become incredibly dangerous.
Would be even worse if it randomly deactivated and reactivated processes.
>have to remember to beat your heart for 10 minutes
>have to remember to blink for 2 hours
>Rapier of Pearls
Magic sword that seems to slow or 'drag' people who try to dodge it back in line with the blade. The handle is encrusted with pearls.
This is a minor magic item I am considering putting on a 'boss' of the starting dungeon for my players, but because of the OSR style people aren't expected or even desire to fight everything, so it's an optional piece of gear.
The very first weapon.
It's a sharp rock, treated as an improvised weapon.
However, because of its position in the history of warfare, it has a +20 inherent enchantment and is indestructible.
Ornamental swords that simply compels the wielder to protect the first thing he or she sees, and to keep the sword. Placed prominently in treasure chambers as a way of protecting them, turning thieves into guards.
The Thrombolyte Blade
On a successful strike on an organic, corporeal creature, they bleed uncontrollably, losing 10% of their blood. (or -5%HP every turn for for 2-3 turns)
But on a missed or parried blow, the wielder is the one who loses blood at the same rate.
Horrible, cankerous weapons, visibly decayed yet eerily sharp. Can come in the form of any metallic weapon, from spears to swords.
Against non-metallic objects they behave the same as an ordinary weapon (despite their level of rusting). When an ever-rusting weapon makes contact with a metallic object, that object is rusted at an accelerated rate and quickly rendered useless.
Infamous for leaving tetanus and other illnesses associated with dirtied or festering weapons.
They are very good at disabling both an opponents armor and weapon.
One must be very careful to not let it make contact with their own armor.
Does not require maintenance, and will always appear rusty and unusable.
The Obsidian Blade
Not actually made of Obsidian, this jet black knife was forged by a long forgotten deity out of the void of nonexistence that exists outside of the universe. The knife is capable of piercing through any and all forms of Armor, magical defenses, and innate resistances to wound its target. Those killed by the blade are consumed utterly by the void and can never be resurrected.
However it also absorbs the life energy of its wielder at a rate proportional to the damage it deals. an unwary wielder may find himself consumed as well.
>this was a major artifact in one of my games
They let you track down delicious sweets when worn. However they also greatly decrease your general perception as all you can see while wearing the goggles are desserts.
God help you on your journey.
The Amulet of Verisimilitude
When wielded, one believes that all events that occur to be normal and expected. The wielder cannot be forced out of a normal state (eg: frightened, confused, drunken or rendered insane), not even through magical means. Allows perfect clarity at all times.
However, the wielder's capability to feel emotion is heavily stunted, and they are locked into a constant state of emotional flatness.
Can be taken off at will, but the wielder will not detect any problem at their current state due to their 'normal perception',
Ha, I can imagine a very surprised wine connoisseur discovering this and being simultaneously pissed off and aghast until they realize the ramifications of what they have found.
One item I had;
Two identical silver rings. Glow when nearby each other but the user only has one.
When you put on one of the Rings your natural senses are improved. If you out on both it increases even more and even gives you a bestial bonus to agility and strength (mostly mental, not physical effect)
These are cursed rings though, either intentional or unintentional. Because when one ring is removed but not the other the sudden shock of the mind being dulled but still very animal makes the person snap into a wild beast mindset, attacking and running away after dropping all their gear and clothes.
The only way to safely remove the Rings is if you take both off at the same time, which requires somebody to help you.
>time to stop being lazy
Terrible Candle lights a larger radius than normal candles, and reveals hidden passages, illusions, etc. When the candle in it burns out, something terrible reaches through the sudden darkness and snuffs someone out. This can be delayed indefinably by lighting a new candle with the old one and replacing it.
Boots of the Wind God immobilize the wearer, anchoring them to the ground, but allow the wearer to blow powerful and dangerous gusts of wind.
The Handful of Magnetic Waystones can be bonded to a person by wearing them against your skin for several days. Once bonded they float around, extending sensory perceptions. Causes phantom pain if damaged.
The Severed Demon Horn twitches and writhes. It may be attached to the head of a brave and or foolish humanoid, granting cunning insight and a knack for telling lies. The horn of course eventually grows to consume the brain of the wearer, taking over their body and respawning the demon.
I'm a dragon of some sort. Cool, always like dragons.
The Cyclopian Half Helm grants magical protection, particularly against blinding attacks, stone gazes, magical mists and other phenomena that interfere with vision. The wearer tends to become more single minded, hard to distract, but also stubborn and not able to see multiple sides of an argument.
The Sahuagin Totem smells faintly of salt and old blood. It gently, almost imperceptibly pulls and tugs towards impending violence. If underwater, the motions are much more detectable, but so is the wearer to sharks and other deep sea monsters.
The Ring of Shitposting
When worn, increases one's ability to formulate ideas that are excessively banal and/or capable of generating annoyance and frustration in others. This increase is applied exponentially in relation to the wearer's weight.
Ideas formulated with aid of this ring are also more likely to be replicated by others.
Grants immunity to banning, capthcha and posting timers.
The Albatross Bow is inscribed with a long, winding scrimshaw the covers its whole surface and the quiver it comes with. While reciting the rhyme and firing the bow, the arrows fly with an unnerving accuracy.
The Bag of Seeds can be used once. By emptying its contents, planting them in the ground, and applying some form of moisture, a rapid growth of plants begins. Water sprouts edible pants, tears sprout an angelic aloe that heals wounds, blood creates a thick wall of brambles. Other fluids my have other effects.
>immunity to captcha and timers
oh mans I wish
The Bejewelled Scarab can be commanded to burrow under the skin of the wearer, and crawl into position in the middle of the forehead. This painful experience allows the wearer to see in a much wider range of colour and light spectrum than normal, as well as see through glamours, one way mirrors, and opaque liquids.
Low-Magic Tier Item:
Ewer of Heartwater:
This ornate looking metal Ewer appears ordinary at first, but has depictions of people inflicting cuts upon themselves. If the wielder draws blood and wipes it on the Ewer it will fill with water for as long as the blood remains wet. It will never overflow, but will never run out if you pour some of it out. I gave it to my players in a desert campaign.
On the opposite end of the spectrum:
This seemingly normal looking leather quiver emits a massive magical aura, it has no distinctive markings except that of a single lightening bolt burnt into the side of it. No matter how many arrows are placed into it, they all seemingly fall into it's depths. Only a single arrow will ever stick out of it at a time. When this arrow is fired, it will split into every single arrow placed into the quiver prior to pulling out the one.
My players used it to destroy an entire invading army by having a whole city craft arrows for them over the course of a week. One shot from the bow rained literally hundred of thousands of arrows onto their enemy. It's elder-god-tier of the magical weapon realm.
The Dull Copper Sword grounds the bearer against electrical attacks, dissipating the energy harmlessly into the ground through the most direct rout.
and I'm out.
>Other fluids my have other effects.
Semen: a baby dryad/plant-human hybrid
Urine: a succulent filled with drinkable water
Saliva: various flavorsome (but not filling) herbs
Vomit: a plant with leaves that have medicinal propeties. Works as an antacid
Snot: an incredibly adhesive moss, don't touch it!
The Harp of the Cresting Wave was grown rather than made, formed from coral and shaped over decades through careful cultivation and the use of magic to infuse it with the power of the sea. When inactive it has no strings, and the compartment in the base of the instrument is closed. When placed within thirty feet of a suitably large body of water, such as a pond, lake or sea, the instrument draws a gallon of water into itself and generates a set of strings for itself. The compartment in the base opens up to reveal several sheets of damp sheet music, which remain intact and legible so long as the harp remains within range of the pool.
The music on the sheets varies from location to location, adapting to local customs and musical tastes, but the number and magical qualities of the songs remain the same. There will always be three songs, one which calms the water, one which creates a mighty storm and one which drives the water back. When the third one is played near a sufficiently large body of water, the resulting tidal wave can be devastating. The musician playing the harp is always immune to the effects that they conjure, the storm winds barely ruffling their clothes and the waves parting around them as they destroy coastal towns.
The Harp of the Cresting Wave was created as part of a treaty between merfolk and nearby traders, and the first song was created to allow safe travel for the traders as part of their agreement. As the deal turned sour the second song was composed, and in the final years of its creation, as the merfolk and the people of the coast went to war, the final song was formed and imbued into the harp. There is no surviving record of the town's location.
Wine: a grapevine. Eating a single grape is enough to get you thoroughly intoxicated, but there's no hangover the next day.
Seawater: Various citrus fruits
Acid: A large carnivorous plant, could probably consume a slow-witted halfling
The Lance of Lanafir, 0+ Vorpal Danseur w/ Phantom Range
Phantom Range; illusory effect convinces target your weapons length is longer, 5+ foot attack range if target doesn't make the save, target must roll each turn to see through the illusion but must roll each turn to ignore or be effected)
Phial of Floods; Magical blue crystal encases a phial of the purest water, when opened it floods the area with 3 feet of water if indoors, only melted snow from the top of the highest mountain can replenish it once more, but it can be used 10 times before needing a charge.
Mace of Chaos +0, every turn the wielder flips a coin to change the enchantment level of the item, on heads, 1+, on tails, -1, the enchantments can fluctuate between 10+ and -10
I forgot some.
It's hard not to make fluids relevant to reproduction not fetishy. It really is.
Sweat: a fine grass that invigorates and sharpens the senses, similar to caffeine
Female sexual fluids: a fern that when applied to the skin, magnifies sensations to that area
Amnionic fluid: a slimey duckweed-like plant that acts as a strong anesthetic, dulls the mind and senses into stupor
Breast milk: a sweet tasting clover that contains everything a human child needs for development.
Spawns a piss forest, lush, vibrant, and most importantly, full of piss
Creates a plush bulb in the curious shape of female genitalia
The Throwing Glove was created during a magical accident by Elledge Wylie, also known as Thousand-Mile Wylie. It was the unintended focus of the final step in creating a magical cannon for a local lord. With the main spells in place to gather, focus and refine raw magical energy, Wylie began casting the final spell to propel the energy towards a target. The mishap that transpired has yet to be properly replicated, but the spells were ripped from the cannon, woven into the glove, and the magical energies that the glove drew in became kinetic energy, launching objects with incredible force.
The glove's effects were discovered when, during the test run of the cannon, the cannon itself was flung two miles away and landed on the lord's wife while she was returning home from sneaking around with another man. Wylie was knighted after several days of investigation and a pardon to halt his execution for murdering the lord's wife, and went on several adventures, primarily using the glove to launch trees and boulders at dragons and giants. The glove itself is now in the care of Wylie's grandson, and on loan to an artificer's guild attempting to understand its unusually potent properties.
No Repeats is a bow that is incapable of hitting (or unwilling to hit) the same target twice in a row. The arrow will curve around and away from its previous target to strike whatever is behind or beside it. The effect has led to the bow becoming renowned for impossible trick shots, particularly through tight spaces and narrow passages such as arrow slits, as the fired arrow will readily slip through cracks in the object to hit something new.
No Repeats is a sentient magical item, and during attempts to communicate with it using telepathy and similar magical effects it revealed feeling incredibly bored with striking the same target over and over again. "I want something new when I fire, I can't stand repetition. All those test shots during construction were just pegging the same boring target again and again from different angles and around different obstacles. I want every shot to be unique, y'know?" When asked about hitting two targets and alternating between them, No Repeats developed the characteristic crack running along its length and has not spoken since.
Just as the name says, it is a mimic bred in the form of a backpack. They will gladly hold any and all items inside their gullet, and defend your possessions from would be thieves.
Capable of motility, and are quite fast (when not encumbered with your useless shit). They have been bred for human interaction, and are incredibly affectionate with their owners.
Both a fine pet and a good anti-thief measure.
Will eat almost anything, but likes raw flesh the most.
SEEDS LIQUIDS LIST, FUCK THAT FETISH SHIT EDITION:
PLANT WITH YELLOW PUSTULES CONTAIN PURE WATER
PLANT WHICH, WHILE EDIBLE, SMELLS HEAVILY OF OWNERS LAST MEAL
ROUNDES BOWL PLANT, CONTAINS NOXIOUS SMELLS AND TASTES BUT CURES AILMENTS
LARGE, DRIPPING BROWN LEAVES CONTAIN EXTREMELY ADHESIVE LIQUID
THICK, SEE THROUGH FERN THAT WHEN EATEN INCREASES YOUR STAMINA RECOVERY
PRODUCES A LOUD, GREEN PLANT SHAPED COW HEAD THAT MOO'S LOUDLY
PUFFY PINK PLANT WHICH TASTES AND HAS THE CONSISTENCY OF UNCOOKED FAT
HUGE, VEINY GROUND PLANT SLOWLY GROWS TOWARDS THE NEAREST LIVING PERSON...
SURPRISINGLY WARM PLANR ENDUCES AN UNSLEEPING STATE FOR 48 HOURS
DRIPPING YELLOW PLANT MELTS ALL LIQUIDS IT COMES INTO CONTACT WITH
STRONGLY SMELLING PLANT FORCES PEACE AMONGST ALL WHO SMELL IT
THICK BARKED PLANT, WHEN SMASHED CONTAINS A BLOCK OF SEMI-LIQUID SUGAR
PRODUCES A LOUD, GREEN PLANT SHAPED CHICKEN HEAD THAT CLUCKS LOUDLY
PRODUCES A SINGLE RED FRUIT HANGING FROM A VINE, FRUIT HAS EFFECT OF NEXT BEST POTION LEVEL
BRIGHT GLOWING LEAVES AND SUCCULENT LOOKING FRUIT ENTICE THE ONLOOKER
LARGE, SPONGY PLANT THAT WHEN RUNG OUT LIKE A TOWEL CONTAINS FRUIT PUNCH
BRIGHTLY GLOWING ORANGE CONE PRODUCES BRIGHT LIGHT
GLUE: TRANSLUCENT WHITE PLANT, CAN BE BOILED DOWN FOR GREAT SEMI-SOLID BANDAGES
NOW POST MORE
I wasn't trying to make my liquid list fetishy (other than the two joke ones), but it's really hard not making female sexual fluids turn into something that isn't fetishy.
It was my intention to match the human bodily fluid with a desired plant. For example, the reason I made vomit create a medicinal herb is because vomit is most commonly associated with sickness, and as such one who is vomiting would likely desire medicine.
That second story is copied from an old /tg/ greentext (Storm Quiver was the name of the artifact iirc)
You should feel bad for doing that, and I'm reporting you to the Dean of Students. You will be meeting with a disciplinary board on the last Tuesday of this month.
A sword possessed by the spirit of an ancient swordsmaster. While wielding it you have all of his amazing skill, and if you pay attention and practice with it you can develop that skill yourself. However, until you do develop your skill to the same level or greater than he possessed, you cannot put the sword down. You can pass it from one hand to another but it must remain in your grip.
Another fighting artifact:
A magical phial which bestows immortality on anyone whose blood it placed inside. Even a slight drop is enough, allowing a whole army to be rendered unkillable. Their wounds do not heal, however, and eventually their undead nature will become obvious. The phial can be used to control those whose blood it contains.
The lovers stones.
Two stones, they always point at each other. If two people wear them and don't see eachother for a long time they will begin to miss eachother. If they don't follow their desire to see eachother they will fall in love.
This is a trick the stones use to always be brought back together.
>A magical phial which bestows immortality on anyone whose blood it placed inside. Even a slight drop is enough, allowing a whole army to be rendered unkillable. Their wounds do not heal, however, and eventually their undead nature will become obvious. The phial can be used to control those whose blood it contains.
That's an interesting take on immortality. When their tendons and muscles are destroyed, can they still function, or are they effectively immortal, unmoving vessels?
The Bag of Swiftest Ladder:
Special bag of holding that contains two thousand boots. Each boot, when worn with another boot from the bag, is its own magical item which has the following effects:
>can only be worn by peasants
>wearer can ready actions outside of combat
>wearer never drops objects while the boots are on. Sometimes this can make it difficult to take the boots off, but items can be passed to someone else
>the effects of drag are greatly decreased within the range of several miles
Legend has it that this item was created after a kingdom's army was destroyed in battle, and local wizards were recruited in the final desperate, and ultimately successful, defense of the kingdom.
Tree sap of any kind: thorny weeds will grow out of the ground and block the way.
Schnapps: a mushroom as big as a man will grow out of the ground. It's spores are poisonous, but it's stem is ediable and tastes/smells like.roasted lamb.
Hat of Pointiness:
>an incredibly pointy hat that compels nearby people to put it on with a force proportional to their intelligence
>anyone who puts the hat on is turned into a literal dick
The Ke-Ap gems.
The Lovers Stones conceal hidden crystalline objects embedded in each stone. These "gems" work against the benign magic of the stones and disrupt any and all attempts by the holders of the stones to return to each other.
*Some theorize that these stones are the source of all love in the world, and without the gems, they would reunite and love would be lost forever.
A butter knife.
But not just any plain old butter knife, it cuts through any obstructions like butter when wielded against the living until it meets flesh, whereupon it's a plain old butter knife and probably not that fantastic of a weapon.
Mask of Dream Visions:
When the wearer dons the mask, they immediately fall asleep. The wearer sees the world from the point of view of a dream version of themself, able to use their senses but unable to interact with the world in any way. They must remain within a 1 mile radius of their body, and the effect lasts until the mask is removed.
Mask of Dream Visions:
When the wearer dons the mask, they immediately fall asleep. The wearer sees the world in a dream-like state, able to use their senses but unable to interact with the world in any way. They can't move a single part of their body, and are stuck looking in the position they fell to the ground/lay down in until someone takes the mask off them.