So Barbarian Princess looking for a strong worthy mate but falls

1. He's a warlock using mind control on her to get that barbarian gold for himself.

2. She wants a man who will die fast so she can become full queen without it looking like she killed her man to get power.

No.

>>44917232
>OP wanks about his fetishes on /tg/.

>>44917232
Why would she fall in love with someone she doesn't find attractive in the first place?

>>44917232
Sure, fudge it by saying he's strong in character or some stupid shit like that, have him handle the politics while she cracks skulls.

>>44917322
Who says she doesn't find him attractive?

She was looking for someone who would match a certain criteria but instead fell in love with someone different. Perhaps the "strong and worthy" was something that tradition demanded or something she though she would like but instead the scrawny dude had some other qualities that made her fall in love with him.

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>>44917232
give him a big dick

>>44917232

>Be in adventuring party together.
>Menstra the Barbarian Princess always first to swing, always testing her might
>Acts tsundere towards Weak Wills, the Wizard.
>One day, Menstra bites off more than she can chew fighting someone immune to physical damage
>Just as she is about to be struck down, gentleman wizard jumps in the way, surely to die
>Casts Mage Armor; attack has no effect
>Proceeds to Levitate, then crush said monster
>From that day forward, Menstra the Weak-Kneed is weak in the knees for Weak Wills.
>Can't ever show it out of pride.
>Mfw their real names are Helga and Arnold

>>44917322
Love is blind.

Amazon "men" actually skinnyfat manlets. The barbarian princess is considered a weirdo for wanting a mate with a muscular physique. She's constantly hot and bothered when her adventuring companions go shirtless.

See the movie Ronan (or Roland) the barbarian.
pretty much what you described.
But makes no sense, and the movie is to stupid of a satyr on Conan

>>44917232
Meh. Is he a wizard and strong magically but can't throw a punch without breaking his thumb? Fits the criteria. Ditto a druid who can't into H2H without shifting into a form with claws or some shit.

He tricked her father into releasing her from an arranged and she ended up falling for him.
He's funny and a good atoryteller and she likes when he sings to her.
He healed a grievous wound for her and now she"s constantly asking him to give her massages for her sore muscles.

You think up a reason.

>>44917232
>So Barbarian Princess looking for a strong worthy mate but falls in love with a scrawny man who can't fight?
Shitty fetishbait/10

>>44917232
Have him take a few levels in a caster or healing class, turn him into a right and proper buffslut or healslut

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>>44917232
I liked that movie.

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>>44917747
So did I but I think you got the wrong film.

>>44917232
There is an old greek myth about the queen of the amazons falling in love with a scrawny greek poet because of his beautiful words, it's really great because all the other amazons can't figure it why she doesn't beat him and make him so house work

>>44917822
>babes, balls and muscles
>for the whole family
Damn, Brazzers got mainstream while I wasn't looking.

>>44917335
underrated post.

>>44917853
No there isn't.

>>44917950
Yes, as a person who can read ancient Greek and studied greek myths, there is

>>44917950
Not sure of the name, but I heard of that one before, think it's one of those "Greek civilization and values being used to show barbarians how they should live" myths the greeks were fond of

>>44918504
What's the name for it again?

>>44918597
It was a variation of the bellerophon myth, pegasus lived on Mt. Helicon, poets would attempt to ride him for divine inspiration, ie. Being thrown off violently and hitting their heads, after bellerophon came and broke pegasus and took him away the pets were at a loss as what to do. All but one left and an amazons tribe leader, sometimes called a queen, found him and captured him. She had him tied up and was carrying him off and he became enamored with her and began to recite her poetry. She had never heard poetry and fell under his spell and began acting much like any normal greek woman. This confused and engaged many other amazons exiling her from the tribe forcing the two to return to Helicon and make a happy life together.

It was a commentary on the dangers of women living outside and away from culture constructed by greek men.

>>44917232
Craigslist postings are getting weirder

>>44918798
>and began acting much like any normal greek woman
So close yet so far

>>44917232
Only if said scrawny target of affections is powerful or worthy in another fashion.
Tactician, mage, diplomancer, artificer, et cetera. None of this poetry crap, unless it's a bonus.

>>44920272
>None of this poetry crap, unless it's a bonus.
>Buff focused poetry bard
>His gentle serenades inspire her to even greater feats of glory

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>>44917232
Maybe he's good looking and a smooth talker. Probably also has a bit of wealth and that civilized forbidden fruit thing going on for him.

Seems like an upstanding chap, to me.

>>44917232
>Barbarian Princess
So a woman owned like chattel by her father, then.

>looking for a strong worthy mate but falls in love with a scrawny man who can't fight?
Since she has no say, this is irrelevant: she gets married off to an important ally of her father who's probably his own age.


In conclusion, fuck off with your shitty fetishbait.

>>44920504
>So a woman owned like chattel by her father, then.
Depends on the culture

>Since she has no say
Depends on the culture

>>44917232

Depends on the man in question. He has to skills in other regard that compensate for his lack of physical fighting prowess. Perhaps he can cook really good, he is functionally invisible, he knows powerful magic that her people look down on but she has found useful, or perhaps he is a bard with enough charisma to seduce a goddess. Its pretty obvious, that things like this have happened.

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>>44917232
OF COURSE she falls in love with a little fuckboi with a heart of gold. Who else is going to temper her raging heart? Not another warrior, that's for sure. Perhaps he's one of those "civilized" boys who has some pretty interesting ideas about how organizing a kingdom works and would make a good tutor for your cildren.

>>44920800
le ebin revisionist maymay

>>44917412
I believe that you mean Ronal the barbarian

>>44917232
Over the course of her adventures she comes into the temporary employ of a foreign ruler, during this time she is witness to the systematic demolition of a rival by the ruler's seemingly unexceptional third son. He did this in retaliation for an attempt on her life. She swears (loudly and angry) as she falls for him and the ruler is all to happy to oblige this most bountiful union with a barbarian kingdom that just happens to border that cunt the Duke of Kaspernov.

Everyone wins.

>>44917322
Because he's nice!

>>44917232
What about it? Fetish fuel? Fuck yes it is. Dominate women dont exist.

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She has STR and CON.

He has DEX and INT.

What's not to like.

>>44921999
When do they get their WIS and CHA elf?

>>44917232
First of all, he could fight. Before he got crippled by an assassin. Sure, he couldn't beat HER, but extenuating circumstances.
Second, he's decent looking, got a pretty sharp mind, and high-status. So everything else is pretty okay.

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>>44922028

Got it covered.

She just gets to watch.

>>44917822
That looks like it would be an amazing movie. His expression sold it to me.

>>44917232
It only works Well if they actually fall in love and not because she just has a thing for scrawny men who can't fight

>>44917747
No.

By far the worst Asterix movie.

>>44922620
no him but I thought the viking daughter was pretty damn cute

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>>44917322
Not ending with the Chad/Cheerleader the MC wanted at the beggining is a cliché older than I don't know, the 70s.

>>44922152
It's awful, stay far away.

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>>44922964
>For years, the barbarian princess has been looking for a man who can go toe-to-toe with her for marriage
>Instead she falls in love with the scrawny little prince
>The scrawny little prince feels only disgust for the brutish woman
>Cue months, if not years, of the barbarian princess trying to fit into high society to impress the young prince and win him over

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>>44923381
>For years, the troll lady has been looking for a nice man.
>She promises all kind of presents to the most handsome and fair of them
>He says no because she is a pagan troll demon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxPEcd6mLlY

>>44923381
>As time goes by, she keeps getting better and better at it to a point where her barbarianess is almost completely lost
>Her own tribes kicks her out because she's no longer the strong Queen they followed
>The prince is still not convinced because, in the end, she'll never be the same as him, no matter how much she tries
>With nowhere to go and no place to call her home, she wanders alone and sad for the rest of her life

She can get married to him, who said anything about falling in love?

>Barbarian princess marries the civilized prince

Worked in our game, she got to pillage the shit out of his country, forcibly marry him and then sit pretty in a life of comfort in a castle while the barbarians get an improvement as the kingdom's new military.

>>44917232
he's strong on the inside
that's the moral of the story (and the fetish of thousands of scrawny nerds)

>>44923037
eh, i liked it

>>44923974
>her barbarianess is almost completely lost
What's the point then?

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>>44923974
>During her lonely and long adventures, she befriends an innkeeper
>There's a bit of tension, but he's already married so nothing comes from it
>She often rests and eats there during her downtime
>His teenage son offers to come a long as her squire multiple times, but she rejects the silly ambitions of a boy who doesn't understand the brutality of a monster-infested world
>Little does she know his true motivation is admiration, perhaps even affection, for this unladylike woman

>>44924150
The point is life isn't fair and you can't gain something without losing something else in the process.

>>44924217
Please, continue.

>>44924217
Now you're talking
What sort of age difference are you thinking?

>>44917322
What her culture told her to look for in a man and what she ended up personally being attracted to ended up not lining up.

Now she can't bring her boyfriend home without facing shame and ridicule.

>>44924433
>Please, continue.
All of my inspiration is gone but allow me to try

>He tries his best to impress her in other ways
>Always assists his parents in taking care of the guests
>Pays extra attention when cooking for the lonely wanderer
>Always pays extra attention when making up her room
>Pays her compliments she brushes off with indiference
>Because she believes no man could ever love her again

>>44924457
Well, she spent years looking for a strong man, years trying to win over the prince and years wandering alone. At least two decades have passed so I guess she's in her 40s by now, with the innkeeper's son being in his mid teens?

>>44924630
>One day say barely mentions that she's to start traveling again
>The little boy, with her heart broken, confesses his love for her
>She is honestly moved by it: "but you're too young, son, there will be another woman for you"
>The next morning she takes off early only to find him at the town's exit wwith everything he needs
>"Very well, if your will is strong I'll allow it. Let's she what you're capable of, young man"

>>44920504
>What is fantasy?

>>44924630
Holy shit my heartboner

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>>44923685
You. I like you.

Sad, good song.

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>>44924760
More!

>>44924830
Thank you

>>44924760
*she barely mentions
*his heart broken
Holy crap, how did I make such a wreck.

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>>44917822
Wow, this whole film looks right up /tg/'s alley.

>>44924882
>More!

>They start traveling together with the young man trying his best to impress her every day
>She's obviously not impressed in the slightest, as he's no adventurer and has no real skills, but his overall cuteness and happiness is something that lightens her days
>After a few weeks of traveling, however, it's obvious that he's not fit for that kind of life
>"I think it's time for you to face reality and go back home now that you still can"
>"What kind of live would it be, to be serving drinks to strangers with my heart broken and my mind absent?"
>"Youn man, in love, like in life, there are times when fate will refuse to give you what you most crave, no matter what. This, too, is something we must learn"
>But he refuses to go away, and the travel continues, but each day he gets worse, and worse, and she fears he may soon die

>>44917232
Despite his frailness of body the boy's heart burns with a barbaric fury to put some of the mightiest Horse Lords to shame. He pursues his dreams of conquest and glory not with strength of arms put with a cunning wit.

However due to his proud and sceptical nature he spurns the barbaress' advances. He calls her a simpleton and a savage. But she still peruses. He says she must be in the grasp of some shameful, perverted fetish. She saves his life. He claims she is toying with him, some agent of a distant enemy. She offers alliance. He knows she will tire of him eventually and leave. She gets him drunk and opens his heart.

Years later they return to her clan as husband and wife. The chief is so furious at his daughter's choice he disowns her and set outs to kill her husband. Within a night he and his lieutenants are dead. Within a fortnight two of the Clan's greatest enemies submit to an alliance. By the next harvest savage throats give cry savage prayers to their king and queen as war sweeps across the land.
The man and woman make violent love on the corpses of slain empires.

>>44925032
Don't end this on a cliffhanger motherfucker!

>>44925824
I didn't know if people wanted to me to continue

>On the 23rd day of travel, as the sun starts rising, she notices that he has fallen ill, probably due to his unfitting body and the excessive effort
>She tries to rationalize that it's not her fault and he brought it on himself, but... she just can't let him die
>As a queen of a mostly nomadic tribe, she actually has knowledge of certain medical herbs and other remedies, but she can't leave him alone
>There's only one option then: she carries the boy in her arms as she searches through the forest
>He wakes up in her arms, barely conscious enough to do anything but talk
>"I... I am sorry. I have failed you"
>"Oh, but you haven,'t young man. Your body may have fallen, but your mind and your heart where always strong. Stronger than your legs and your arms. That is a quality that I'va rarely found before"
>He smiles and falls asleep again as she finally finds what she's looking for.
>A few minutes later a proper medicine has been prepared and although it takes a few tries, she manages to make the boy drink it all
>As he rest she prepares a bonfire, knowing that, as long as the boy isn't helthy she won't be able to sleep
>In the middle of the night he whispers her name
>Slightly touched, she can't help but cuddle with the sleeping boy, humming a song as old as her tribe

>>44926107
Since I've come this far, may as well finish the story:

>Some hours later, he finally awakens, as weak as the day before
>"I... I don't think I'll make it"
>"That's not for you to decide, young man"
>"I know what I look like to you, I know that... all this tie felt like a chore, or a joke, or some kind of childish thing but. I really loved you. I loved everything about you."
>"Shush now, you need to rest"
>"No, I just... I won't..."
>But as he tries to find the words and the strength, her lips find his. A small, delicate kiss, his first and only. Short and endless like life itself
>"Don't say anything else. Sleep"
>So he does, with a grin so big it threatens to tear his face in half
>And with that same smile, only a few hours later, he dies, still in her arms
>As it is tradition by her tribes rules, she finds a place to bury his body, and then burn the corpse of a wild predator so that the ashes will later become a new life, thus granting him a new opportunity
>To this day she keeps travelling the world, as she'll never forget the young man who made her feel that she, too, could be loved again.

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>>44926107
<3

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>>44926706
>And with that same smile, only a few hours later, he dies, still in her arms
Don't do this to me anon.

>>44926771
I'm sorry, anon, I just love tragic endings with some kind of happy message.

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What if the barbarian princess is only 5 feet tall?

pic is Rin Nakai, world's greatest muscle waifu

>>44927042
>Barbarian princess
>Midget

Choose one, anon.

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>>44927115
Try saying that while your head is being squeezed by these thighs and she's telling you to lick.

>>44917232

She's only dating him for his brother, Chad. Seriously, every woman I've ever met is repulsed by weak men.

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>>44927201
>Implying her legs will ever reach to my head

>>44927042
>What if the barbarian princess is only 5 feet tall?
Shit, absolute shit, a proper amazon should be at least a head taller than her husbando, ideally either tall enough he's eye level with her tits or hips

>>44927375
>Headlevel with her tits
Muh niggah

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>>44917232
He's a magic-used that makes her laugh, cares about her feelings, has a pretty cock and can eat her out into heaven.

What more could a girl want?

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>>44927375
Yes! The perfect height to possessively pull her husbando close and dig his face into her soft, welcoming bossom. Perfect for petting his head while snarling at any womenfolk that might want to steal him away from her.

>>44927464
*magic-user

>>44927619
No, he's a magic-used. He has been used to make magic. That's why she fancies him, because that's what her tribe needs.

>>44927375
>>44927284
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeliHTtZoqo
What if she bakes you a cake and asks you nicely?

I've always played around with the idea of a fantasy setting being the distant past of a world that eventually mellowed out and now it's pretty much just like ours with office buildings and malls. Orcs, kobolds, elves and everything else still exist, but they're your neighbours and your friends.

>>44927746
No, too short for barbarian waifu

>>44927439
>>44927582
Exactly

>>44927464
>>44927619
>>44927651
>TFW no prestige class built around being the best casterslut you can be for your big, strong barbarian waifu and letting her use you for her to make magic
Actually that sounds like an interesting idea, letting someone else have access to your spell casting and giving benefits when you corporate

>>44925031
>>44917822
This looks like one of those movies that got made to capitalize off confused parents trying to take their kids to see How to Train Your Dragon
>From the producers who saw Shrek!

>>44930995
They made a hilariously large amount of those, didn't they?

>>44917232
So... Healslut?
I'm okay with this

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>>44930995
I wish strong, protective musclegirls were actually a thing.

>>44934839
>Strong protective musclegirls
>Pic shows a musclegirl getting her ass kicked by skinny girls

You're not getting your ideas across properly, anon

We're playing a sort of Mongol type game. The Khan player is strong and capable in her own right, and can have any man she wants, certainly she/her forces have conquered enough from strapping barbarian chiefs to strong warrior kings.

Instead she crushes on the scrawny alchemist because out of all the people she surrounds herself with, he tells hard truths and calls it like it is, doesn't mince words or kiss her ass because he doesn't like/bordering hates her. He's the one person that says "No." to her.

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>>44935168
>Multiple women in armor
Nevertheless, let's try some other musclegirls then. I'm hoping to collect some musclegirl pics in this thread, since I sorely lack 'em.

I just want you to know that you are all giant faggots.

>>44917232
Odd nobody seems to have mention Brunhilde yet. So Brunhilde was a valkyrie that Odin had trapped in a magic castle and shit, and this guy Gunnar wanted her as his bride, but he knew he couldn't handle her. So he hires Seigfried, certified badass, to stand in as him to make it look like he could do the hero thing so she would agree to marry him.

It doesn't work out very well for any of them.

>>44935301
My guess is that nobody mentioned Brunhilde because it has nothing to do with the post and you just wanted to sahre some random trivia.

>>44917232
That's just Nigel the Destroyer and Conina the Hairdresser from Sourcery by Terry Pratchett.

>>44917232

Haha this is literally my wife.

But then she taught me to fight and now we're strong and do parkour at night like batmen.

>>44935514
At least, until you wake up.

I had this once. Not a barbarian, but the woman was a tall, beefy knight who had seen some shit and became a wandering vigilante.

She fell in love with a manlet thief because he had a group of orphan apprentices he kept fed and helped her get over her alcoholism. Later on he was trampled to death by fucking centaurs though.

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>ctrl+f
>No Tannah & Vard
Shame on you all.

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>>44937110

>>44934839
Me too, they are the best

>>44937110
It any good? I've been meaning to check it out

>>44924851
Don't be sad. The Myth the song is based on, in many versions, she converts to Christianity and they get married.
I mean, she loses her powers as a Mountain Troll and is just a normal woman, but that's kinda what she wanted all along.

>>44927375
>>44927284
>>44927201
>>44927115
>>44927042
Halfling Barbarians are a thing.

>>44940116
>Halfling barbarians are a bad thing
ftfy

>>44927746
I watched a few of those. Japan is WEIRD! I can't speak moon, why did she let those beetles crawl on her?

>>44930995
Considering it's not in English (French I think) and it's the equivalent of an R rating?
Probably not. I've seen it. They like the Fuck word a lot in that movie.

>>44922152
>>44923037
It's not exactly bad, but it's not really all that good either. I'd say it was more disappointing than anything.

>>44940162
I think schoolkids used to play with them before videogames were a thing. So just sort of silly and playful I guess.

>>44939890
It is ok, short enough that if you don't like it you wouldn't have wasted much time.

>>44940231
>French I think
Let's hope not. Between Wakfu and Totally Spies, they're second only to Japan in fetish fuel production.

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>>44917232
The guitar solo was just that good.

>>44944256
>Let's hope not
Why not?

>>44942309
Japs don't have toys?