My best kill in an RPG was in an AdEva game I played ages ago. It's not a great system and the game wasn't super consistent, but it was a golden moment.
After a long, hard slog we were up against the arc endboss, who was pulling all kinds of awful shit to limit our ability to right it. My PC was an AT Technician, basically an Evangelion Wizard, and was put through an emotional mindfuck trying to break him through trauma. But the love he had for his girlfriend/fiance (can't remember if he'd proposed by this point) pulled him through, his AT field spiked, and he called down a pillar of fire from the fucking son, glassing the boss and a lot of the surrounding area.
For me, missing the Mindflayer that had another party member fully held and tentacled and the action after mine was going to eat their brain, to instead hit and crit the party member with (I believe) a scorching ray. Complete accident but I played it off as a mercy kill and the vaporized player agreed.
For another player, probably the reaping mauler literally breaking her nemesis in half during sex.
>>44889860 The time my cleric turned the halfling bard into a greasy smear.
So basically, stuff's been happening, the bard has been an annoying little shitstain both at the table and in character. Finally, in a complex full of traps (which the DM admitted to putting together because he saw this coming and thought it'd be a good arena) he goes too far, shows a bit too much cowardice while being a little shitbag and I'm finally like "Fuck this, let's go." I give him fair warning, because it wasn't in character to just bean him from behind.
What's the little coward do? HE RUNS LIKE A BITCH.
The wizard, very much my bro, just looks at the fighter, who's staring at the spectacle, shaking his head, and responds, "Hey, I don't have a dog in this fight."
Candyass Little Bitch thought he could run. He had to tank traps to do it. So did I, but I had effective healing and he didn't, as well as more HP. I didn't bother though, because all he had was a dagger and a -1 damage modifier for STR.
Finally, I corner the little fucker. We're both at maybe 15 hp because of traps. I so totally don't care. He hits with his dagger twice on absurdly lucky rolls and gets like 3 total damage, while I whiff with two horrible rolls. I don't care. Next round sees muh cleric going critical and leaving his brain matter scattered about.
The fighter hands some gold to the wizard. "I thought he'd do better in the traps." The wizard replies, "not enough to make up that kind of difference.
Afterwards the DM was all, "Fuck this, we're playing something that makes no sense whatsoever now that you've got that out of your blood. Time for some Changeling: the Dreaming!"
>girlfriend and I playing 40k for the first time >it's the one where you roll random missions and have a load out >both pick sand people for Dat sweet instakill on 6 >get mission to steal some sort of larva thing >jungle man uses his ability to drop straight on top of larva and grabs it >roll for monsters >carnifex on the east side right next to jungle dude >girlfriend has Las cannon >takes aim >rolls 6 >UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU >next round, jungle guy still dragging, the rest of us firing on random enemies while girlfriend reloads >suddenly, carnifex spawns next to girlfriend >summons touhou powers and rolls just high enough to evade being skewered, but knocked on the ground >I'm standing near her while the others are beating a retreat >take aim >roll 6 >UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU >girlfriend gets up, moves away from spawn and toward jungle guy >next round of monster spawns >FUCKING CARNIFEX NEXT TO ME >I'm rolling in the dirt, evading like a motherfucker >jungle guy almost to the edge, other 2 people say to abandon me >girlfriend takes aim with Las cannon again >roll 6 >UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU UUUUUUU >jungle guy goes off map with larva >girlfriend drags my character off the map while we're screaming like sand people
>>44890005 Another good one is when my warrior, a halfling, and a wizard destroyed the last crystal that stopped Cthulu and an army of Mindflayers from going through an inter dimensional portal and destroying the world, one turn before they made it through.
>Playing Dragonquest (well, actually DMing, this was one of my players, but whatever) >Illusionist character. >Illusions in Dragonquest work by sense, they have to be patently believable to even have a chance of working; and if you want to cause damage with them, you need to have a tactile element. >However, the more senses you add, the exponentially harder the spell becomes to cast, if you wanted to say, make an illusionary warrior, you'd probably need visual, audial, and olfactory, as well as tactile to actually do any damage, which would require an absurd amount of XP to be able to cast with any sort of hope of success. And even then, they'd get a save >So it's mostly used to trick, not to hurt. >Party is hired to kill this one baron. He's not all that tough, but he has a retinue of guards that are pretty dangerous, so it's mostly intended to be a slip past them and knife the bastard sort of mission. >Group gets themselves invited to a party he was hosting at his manor, and using it as a chance to scope out his defenses. >Illusionist walks right up to him, slaps him on the back, says how great a time he's having, this is the best ever, and oh I'm so sorry, but I poisoned your drink. >Makes his notbluff check, >Makes his spell check, which is involving only a tactile illusion of the guys guts seizing up. >Saving throw against perception fails. >Guy drops dead from a placebo.
It was a "portal to the abyss has opened and all of hell is being unleashed into the world" scenario
First demon group through the portal tore our lvl 12 or 13 party to pieces and it was looking like a TPK. Last man standing (My 16 year old paladin riding a pegasus) dove into the portal like a kamikazi jap, attempting to shatter our staff of power while at the barrier of the rift. Enemy marilith grabbed a hold of the SoP and tried to arm wrestle it from me. I hulked out, shattered the staff, and died instantly. The DMs immediately left (college + finals week), but I can only assume the demons where stopped and the kingdom saved.
Was fighting some huge fucking Devil with 4 arms. We managed to weaken it quite a bit, and when It was down to low health, the party Gnome did the most logical thing. He asked my character (seven and a half foot tall Golem) to throw him at it. I was sceptical, but he (and the others in the party) begged me to do it. We had nothing to lose (accept our Gnome, I guess) so I rolled to throw, and passed, since I had a strength of like 24. Little bastard smashed his entire sack of potions into the Devils mouth. Which included, Fire Bomb, Holy Water, Lightening Bombs, and Ice Bombs. Needless to say, the Devil died. After that we got the hell out of there.
Dunno what that is (as I said, it was our first time playing and haven't played since). The guy running the game probably simplified a lot of the rules because there were 5 of us and 4 had never played before.
>>44890472 It was in reference to all the "UUUU UUU"s, because a lot of Magic the Gathering players abbreviate Blue Mana as U. It was a dumb joke but I don't feel bad. And also your story was pretty cool, I liked it.
>>44890549 >Be essentially a blue-mage-type character >modern fantasy, supernatural high school, kids with powers, demons everywhere >earlier session, had stolen the Possession power from a Vilkatis (werewolf demon) >return from field trip to find school overrun with succubi >use newfound power to possess one of the invaders >learn my NPC girlfriend was a disguised succubus, acting as a vanguard for the invaders >Lilith is attempting to, and succeeds in, stealing a mcguffin >as the remaining succubi are making their escape, two things happen 1: the gate to hell underneath the school explodes 2: I spot the traitorous bitch of a girlfriend fleeing through Lilith's portal >I charge her, still in succubus-suit, and drive a clawed hand through her chest. I actually dealt enough piercing damage to impale her. >Go through portal with rest of party to chase Lilith and retrieve the mcguffin.
I once had a character kill the Tarrasque by hitting it with a fullblade at terminal velocity from the lower atmosphere. Perhaps letting Rule of Cool be his guide, we calculated the height from which my character was dropping and applied fall damage as a bonus to the attack damage... without the 20d6 upper limit on fall damage. The damage not only one-shotted it, but my character left a small crater so deep that it left a crater the size of a small lake. There was actually an underground water system that opened up and it became a lake shortly after. A village was formed around it. My character survived. We were pretty much playing Exalted at this point.
>NPC gets caught by chupacabra creature >carried to a rocky outcropping, way out of the reach of the rest of the party >starts chowing down while the rest of us are helplessly trying to find a way up >realize that I can summon hippogryphs >summon that bad boy and tell the group's knight to get on >immediately enjoys the liberation from the earth >describing how he's doing loops and shit all excited like >tells DM he's going to make a charge >straight down What. >DM asks him how far up he is >knight says like 40ft >rolls ride check >1 >falls like a meteor into the chupacabra >hippogryph disintegrates >chupacabra and NPC obliterated >knight manages to roll on reflex >natural 20 >manages to live with -7 HP >last words before passing out >"Good effect on target"
>>44890549 >>44890789 >Adventures in Hell for about an in-game month or so >Eventually retrieve mcguffin and prevent Lilith from resurrecting Sammael/Satan >Make it back to the school, which seems to have gotten un-exploded, but the Gate is still gone >Do school shit for a while >Brood a bit in-character over traitor girlfriend, but eventually back to business as usual in supernatural high school >NPC friend Werewolf-girl is acting weird >some shit happens >turns out werewolf-girl got replaced by succubus-in-disguise-ex-girlfriend >because apparently she survived getting impaled and dropping 100 feet to the ground >she's holding werewolf-girl captive to drain her of energy >confront her and kill her without a word, not so much as a poignant one-liner. >prevent any resurgence of succubus attack on the school cont. for final
>RT >i'm playing and ex Chem-Dog arch militant, generally referred to as the party's attack dog >theres been this dickass rogue rogue trader whos gone full pirate and been fucking with us the whole campaign >havent been able to put him down in naval combat >we get word from a contact we thought was reliable and not a fucking traitor shit his ship is damaged and in for repairs at one of his hideaway bases >figure we should take this opportunity and stop his spree of dickass shenanigans >sure enough, his ship is docked in a grungy looking orbital platform, certainly appears to be fucked >our rogue trader decides that this is personal and we need to ensure his death, in person >ohboyherewego.remembrancerpict >launch the boarding torpedos, get aboard, it quickly becomes clear it was a setup, resistance is fierce, my boarding group, along with the rogue trader grind our way through to the bridge, where this dickass motherfucker is sitting on this big fancy chair, grinning like a high-tier asshole >we exchange insults, and as we go to take action, 4 flashbangs drop around us >look up, and theres 5 shitheads with varying degrees of big firepower rappelling down >flashbangs go off, i'm okay thanks to proper protective eyewear, forget everyone else is fucked >start off strong, frag one of the mooks with 2 hits from a bolt carbine >4 of our 10 remaining mooks get blown away by hot-shot lasguns and bolt pistol fire, RT catches a shot in his shoulder, after his refractor field shit out, one mook manages to clip one of the badguys and knocks his lasgun out of his hands >huff some Frenzon, charge the nearest dude with my power sword(more of a machete) and roll a 1, cutting horizontally straight through him, and lodging the blade halfway through the torso of the guy beside him, the mooks manage to put up something of a fight before dying to the last man when the shithead tosses a plasma grenade at them, vaping them and his chump, and makes to finish off our rogue trader cont
>>44891019 >baddies blasts me with a shot from a bolt pistol, i hit the ground but survive thanks to carapace+sub dermal armour, drop my guns as i fall, its desperation time now >kicks our RT around while hes down, and gives some cunty victory speech, reloads his pistol and is about to execute our boss >get up, cant get close enough for melee, no guns >"I throw my sword at the pirate bastard" >roll a fucking 4, 3 degrees of success >straight through his chest, hes deader than the loyalists on istvaan 3 >drag the RT to a transport and get the fuck out it was pretty gr8
The best kill I ever got was in a game of 2nd Ed Exalted using a steak knife to kill a corrupted mayor of a town who eats live people and worships an abyssal exalted. This was a game set in the 100 kingdoms and the party (Our circle of solar exalts) had been investigating weird shit going on in this town and small kingdom that we were based in. Now our party consisted of myself the fat ass guild representative Eclipse cast who had memory altering powers and he could say just about anything and EVERYONE would believe him. His goal was to climb the guilds ranks and make the guild stop selling drugs and slaves and ruining peoples lives.
The we had our dawn cast Female warrior of justice and death with her golden 2H sword who would smite any evil or injustice she found this eventually lead her on a holy war with almost everyone but that’s another story.
We had the Twilight cast sorcerer who was only into books and finding out how to create weapons that could turn people into statues made of any metal.
And finally we had the Night cast assassin who would only use boomerang’s to kill his enemy’s and wished to create a thieves guild that feed the poor and stole from the guild but he also we able to eat spirits and see the gods of the land. Shall I continue?
>>44890549 >>44890789 >>44890978 >Not much word on Lilith or anything for a while >Christmas break rolls around >My roommate thinks Tanzania would be a wonderful place to spend christmas >see pic-related, that's how white I am. >whatevs, go to Tanzania with party, generally have cool times >black dogs show up, turn out to be demons who can kill you just by locking eyes. >killemall.jpg >follow spirit energy nonsense trail to mining operation in Mt. Kilamanjaro >more black-dog-demons >deal with dogs, delve deeper >Encounter Lilith. >and my buddy's parents, whom he thought were dead >and my parents >so that's why we couldn't visit lovely new zealand for christmas. bollocks. >gathered around a glowing monolith of Tanzanite >it's called the Satan Stone. Guess what's in it. >That's right, it's a piece of Satan >pretty obvious we can't fight Lilith AND our dudes' parents, since they all have lots of powers. And lots of demons. >Attempt to defuse situation, stall for time. >"Okay, I'll see if I can get any information out of the Satan Stone, since that's what you're after." >Drain energy from Satan Stone >OHFUCKWHATSINMYHEAD.webm >pass out >wake up, everyone's still okay at least >Decide, hey, I'm retiring the character, I'll join the bad guys >Make declaration, enough distraction for party to run away >Mystic buddy (guy who discovered his parents are still alive) hits the Satan Stone with a curse and erases all knowledge from it before they gtfo
And that's the story of how Desmond wound up with Satan as a copilot.
>>44889860 >Paladin needs to undergo trials to prove himself to the order >He's allowed to use friends because making allies is a valuable skill >First trial was one of endurance, standing vigil for 24 hours >He literally nat 20'd both his con checks >Second challenge was hunting a Drake killing the local livestock >The ancient dwarf of the citadel came to him with an invention >An adamantine harpoon cannon >They load it onto a cart, strap all their horses to it and set off towards the Drake's lair >Paladin happens to be a dragonborn, aka the tastiest treat to dragons and drakes >Personally lures it out with him on his steed >Party swings in with the adamantine cannon >Paladin is swatting the dragon away, distracting it >Miss first shot, second shot grounds the beast >Paladin jumps out and charges the beast >Wizard and rogue rush to join him >Massive brawl turns against the beast >It takes to the skies again, ripping the harpoon gun out of the cart (nat 20 str check, no joke) >Paladin can't let it flee, jumps on the trailing chain >Wizard curses and jumps on the chain as well, climbing onto the paladin's back >Paladin aces his climb checks, crawls up the chain with no regard for being hundreds of feet in the air now >Rams his sword into the beast's chest and blows his biggest smite >Blows apart half the beast's ribs >The Drake cries out and dies, wings fold, they're hurtling towards the ground on top of 1000 lbs of fiery meat >Massive blood covered dragonborn paladin floats down with his wizard parachute thanks to feather fall >Cleric slaps him on the back, heals him, asks if he's ready for the third trial >The third trial was the wizard's betrayal, summoning a lich demon that killed almost the entire paladin order by surprise
>>44889860 Mine was in L5R. Was playing in a fairly large play by post game.
Was playing a strong stat based pre-made duelist given to me by the GMs. I had no Advantages, Techniques (i.e. School/Class abilities), or Kata (style bonuses basically).
My opponent was a twinked out player made character designed to win duels. She had similar stats to mine, had used Advantages to both get a school that completed with often beat the Schools that specialized in dueling and also bypass a skill cap put into place to keep the game fair, as well as having one of the best dueling kata. She pretty much had everything you could wish for as a duelist.
The duel went like this: I spent Void on every roll. She won the Assessment roll, but did not beat me enough to get the +1k1 bonus on the Focus roll. We got a Karmic Strike (our opposed rolls were within 5 of each other) on our Focus roll so we ended up attacking at the same time. We both hit with our attacks but neither killed so we went into skirmish (normal combat) mode.
I won Initiative and went all out and managed to hit twice for the kill.
PF game, starting at 4th level. I decided to play a paladin and came upon a woman being attacked by four guys with silvered daggers in an alley. Party hadn't met up yet so I charged them with my sword and shield alone.....and whiffed. Lady runs off while the guys surround me and the DM calls it there for the night since we didn't have time to do the fight then.
After the game he PMs me and tells me to have a backup character ready. He doesn't tell me exactly why, but pretty obviously hints that this is a fight meant for at least 3 players or at least me and some guards and I figured out pretty quick that each of these guys were level 4 rogues. So yeah.....I was pretty fucked. Starting looking up all the combat maneuvers and tricks I can do to somehow survive.
Next session we start the fight and I luck the fuck out and get first turn. I immediately back into a corner and make it impossible to flank me for backstab. Proceed to Fight Defensively and rope-a-dope four rogues as the GM is frantically looking up combat maneuvers to force a sneak attack on me. He manages about two but I just Lay On Hands the damage away. Rogues finally run off with one dead and two badly wounded.
I'm sure there's some shit either me or the GM could have done to easily destroy the other, but we were both pretty new to PF. I don't really blame him for the fight, either, since I kinda ran into it like a dumbass with no plan. He even had another player come across me but that dude was a terrible player and just ran away.......like he did from every fight he was in before dropping from the game after a few weeks. It was a ton of fun to go into a fight that shouldn't have lasted a round and just Muhammed Ali'ing some pissant murderers for the glory of GOD AND JUSTICE!
>>44891168 This story begins with us having horrible nightmares and more and more people have been going missing out of graves in the town as in close to 100 at a time and the undead rampaging though the neighbouring kingdoms and this being our home town we kind of need to remain un-fucked by undead.
Each of us decided to start chasing leads on what could be causing such evil to spread. I decided to ask the factor of the town of any strange ingredients had been flowing into town or any stimulants that could cause the dead to rise. Now he was a fairly normal fat merchant NPC but his offsider was deathly thin with matted black hair and always seemed to have everything ready just before he needed it so this rang alarm bells but W/E next up we had a meeting with mayor and I asked our Night cast to come with and have him do some snooping while I talked about BS and tried to get any info I could.
>>44891516 As we got to his door on the 4th story of his mansion it was closed and we knocked on it to enter when the door swung open we saw him chin deep in a god damn slaves belly eating him alive at which point our night cast NOPED the fuck out the window dragging me along for an impromptu pavement cuddle at speed.
Needless to say he needed to die and we had worked out that the Factors aid was raising the dead as a few people had described “Hands made of bone digging up graves and giving them life while the Factors aid watched with glee.” Not to mention every single undead attack started when he was in that kingdom. So the party managed to confront him and told him to SOD off (It was a mistake not killing him then) and we wouldn’t kill him so we shook hands on the deal in return for a favour from me. He pinged his Abyssal cast charm and made the deal written in notice of the gods so if I don’t do the favour I am as good as dead.
As soon as it pinged he told me he can be gone soon and that my favour is to murder the guild factor BEFORE he leaves town. Sure it will take him a few days to get his shit in order so I got time.
He then says Oh I should be done and gone in the hour have fun. OH FUCK so sprinting my fat little ass across town I end up at the factors home I charm my way past the guards and begin to search for the factor and a weapon.
All I was able to find was a steak knife which to avoid being detected by any other guards I quickly strapped to my thigh upon finding said factor in his office I BRUTALLY murder him with 74 stab wounds to the chest yelling I’m sorry but it’s for my own good.
After the crime has been done and he was dead I poked my head out the door and called for a maid. When she rocked up I used memory fuck powers to tell her she did the crime and that she is to take the knife and go into the office and keep stabbing while crying “WHY DIDN’T YOU BUY ME THAT ELL SKIN PURSE?!?”
>>44891540 As this happens I walk out of the building altering the memories of everyone I meet that my clothes are not bloody and that it’s just tomato sauce.
There is more to the story like how I managed to fool the entire town and their god that I was innocent despite the party KNOWING FULLY what I did and I will take over his role starting with a party with free drugs and hookers for all that lasted a month and killed 30% of the town’s people in the process.
We had just stolen an important magical crystal or something and were running from the BBEG's right hand demon. He catches up to us, I hold him off and tell everyone else to run. Demondude kills me after a few rounds of hard fighting and searches my body for the crystal.
I was playing a half giant warblade, hunting a demonic direwolf. Along the way I came across a round boulder that my character could only pick up with both hands, and carried it with me. When the wolf made a retreat, I picked it up from the ground at my feet (I dropped it when it pounced on me) and managed to kill it with a natural 20 when I threw it, the GM said I snapped its spine. My character then spent the night naked in the woods, praying to his savage gods and consuming the wolf's heart. It was a good session.
This is also kind of a WTF GM story, but it takes the top slot in my memory just for sheer absurdity.
>4e, allegedly Forgotten Realms, first session of a new game >playing a Paladin fluffed as a mountain barbarian given holy power by totemic grove >weird magic meteors are falling all over the northern forests, party dispatched to investigate >end up teleported to desert temple across the world >NPC guide joins us to assist with puzzles >find mechanical dragon in the last room, NPC tells us to approach >robot arms come out of nowhere, bolt crash harnesses to our bones, load us on the dragon's back >begin to suspect DM had been on an Escaflowne binge >dragon rockets off into FUCKING SPACE straight towards the king mother of all evil magic asteroids >dragon subsystems start dispensing magitech weapons >Palabarian gets a fucking automatic laser ballista supported by robot arms >he is well pleased >NPC tells us monsters will come out; don't attack the asteroid, just the monsters >fuck that >dust the asteroid, fucking tempest of insect monsters pours out >blow them to Space Hell by the dozens >Palabarian is having the time of his savage life >eventually win, though the dragon is a little banged up >after dust settles, turn to NPC and ask, "You just use these weapons to contain the monsters?" >he just nods >shake head gravely and say, "You've been using them all wrong."
>>44889860 Noble had me imprisoned, and was preparing to administer fate much worse than death. Noble's liege, a young prince, was like, "Dude, this shit is fucked up, I'ma leave right now because my poppa needs to know, and I'm worried you'll try to kill me 'cause you know I don't approve." He released my PC as a distraction. (My PC was still around half health from being captured a couple days prior. And had been starved.)
PC sneaks up to Prince's quarters (where he said her possessions had been placed,) and arrives just in time to be framed for Prince's murder. Troops show up, the noble who'd had her imprisoned initially showed up to gloat.
Managed to challenge him to a duel to try and avenge Prince (who'd done me a favor and died in my arms,) and prevent myself from being recaptured.
So, half-health PC. Starved. Level of fatigue. Full of vim and vinegar, motivated by justice, and with a fate worse than death if she fails.
Versus a noble at full health, maybe a little overconfident, but willing to accept a challenge to a duel. With magic and blade, quite a prize should he succeed. Rape was mildly implied, and wasn't nearly the worst thing possible.
What followed was an hour-long duel of awesomeness that had me scouring rulebook & my sheet for every trick and tool I could use, and had the GM occasionally just dropping the rules to do rad thematic shit. It ended with my character being coup de grace'd, surviving, coup de grace'd, surviving again... and while she was having her throat slashed, having a vision from her ancestors saying "You fight for justice and you're doing us proud. You aren't allowed to die here, keep on keepin' on." And then coming back in righteous, flaming, fury to win.
Would have won without divine intervention if GM hadn't been dropping the rules here and there for thematic stuff, if I'd started at a little more HP, or if I"d remembered an extra point of damage reduction for the first 2/3rds of it.
>>44889860 >Playing D&D fairly early on >Party is going through an ancient crypt, the owner of which turned out to be a dragon in human form >As we go through, we encounter plenty of undead, odd human bodies with draconic parts attached >We get to the final room and four big guys get summoned >We're trying to take them down and destroy the summoning symbols >Two PCs go down, but manage to take out two of the remaining undead fusions >I kill one and do some damage to the last one, but not enough >As I go to break the final symbol, he hits me, knocking me to 0 >I roll my death saves >Two failures >Roll for a third time >Nat 20 >Force myself up onto one knee before stabbing my rapier up under the undead's head, stabbing up into his brain, killing him instantly
It was pretty low-level stuff, but damn if it didn't feel satisfying
>>44889860 Warhammer fantasy roleplay, his family raised him in Nuln, though. Although he earned mad money adventuring he wanted to stay close to nature and not rely on luxury.
Anyways, he got a bunch of mad kills. We had some very deadly poison with I generously poured over an arrow, till it dripped. Got an extremely lucky roll and managed to shoot it above a campfire with a large pot, leading to the death of all the bandits after an hour.
Another time he shot a beastman shaman in the big bad forest with a harpoon, at max rangem from a moving ship. We reeled the bastard in and celebrated.
after the party mage used a rope trick creativly, lifting and dropping a shambling mound from a large hight, i stood ready with a greatsword below it to catch it with an upswing on the drop. suffice to say, falling damage + big 2handed chop mid air before it landed did wonders and murderd it nicely.
See, now this is the kind of dickish well thought out heroism that I like to see. None of this "Run of Crits!" bullshit or "I kill the other player because he's such a bitch lol I'm just too badass to stop lol" or fetish fapping to succubi.
I applaud this kind of clever murder whole heartedly.
>>44890128 You get a pass only because in my heart of hearts I believe that you made the Sand People noises.
>>44891371 Good tactics. Always more interesting than "I try for retarded shit and roll high! Honest!"
My best kill was with my Vanarin(planet of the apes ape) monk. I had climbed the outside of the antagonist's tower and beaten the roof access door in. He knocked me off the tower and last second (he had caused an AoO) I used a grappling hook to catch onto him, which let me swing just enough to grab the side of the tower then pull him over the parapet to his death.
Guy rolled up a character. Basic run-of-the-mill Paladin with a special love of the sea. Visits and maintains shrines and chapels on the high seas dedicated to his patron Goddess, protects pilgrims and seafarers on their voyagers in return for bread and boarding. He fights in full-plate armour since he's not afraid of drowning, and oddity at sea where nothing heavier than chainmail is seen but otherwise your standard Paladin.
And he hates pirates. HATES them. His goddess isn't a fan either but he took the hate to a new level. Not in a "man those pirate guys are dicks" way but in a "Im going to enjoy every second I spend killing you" way. The kind of hate that is difficult to reconcile with a solidly Good-aligned character.
One stormy evening he's defending a port watchtower from pirates attacking from the sea. The Captain doesn't want the ballista on that watchtower damaging his ship so he sends in his first mate and most of the crew via rowboat to launch an assault. It's just this Lvl 5 Paladin and half a dozen guardsmen against two-score bucaneers, and this Paladin WRECKS them. He cuts his way to the First Mate in the shallows, ignoring the crossbow bolt in his shoulder, disarms him, grapples him and then proceeds to HOLD HIM UNDERWATER until he drowns all the while taking damage from the pirates wailing on him from the sides. A dozen pirates surrendered to him and the four surviving guardsmen. He proceeded to drown them all on the shore within sight of their captain. You can bet he sailed off and never came back.
Did I mention he, as in the player, was raising his voice in prayer to a fictional goddess the entire time this was going on? Shit was intense. But hey, the guy really didn't like pirates.
>Enter white dragon's lair >Iced over lake inside a long dead volcano >Spot check "You make out a massive shadow gliding under the ice" >Oh, shi- >Dragon erupts from under the ice >Several of us are knocked on our asses, NPC cleric goes in the water >Manage to extract them, but not before they nearly drown >Retreat to an area with a lower ceiling so the dragon can't keep doing fly-by attacks >One guy sacrifices himself by detonating all the charges in his enchanted staff at once for a shitload of damage >Eventually whittle the dragon down to 38 health >I have a circlet that does a flat 40 damage if I hit >Land the hit despite my shitty ranged skill >Pierce the dragon head-to-tail with a blast of holy light
>>44889860 >soarwhale flotilla advancing toward capital city >don't particularly care for capital city but love me some air combat >hijack first soarwhale >platform underneath is full of constructs >team deals with these while a hulked out mindflayer emerges from the inside of the captains tent >grapplemonk immediately engages >flayer tries to flay but gets no play >thank god for high will >grapple up behind his tentacled ass >drag to edge of platform >suplex over the edge >he falls to his death and I manage to save and hold onto edge >as I pull myself back up, mindflayer Mk.II charges out of tent >this one has armor >Paladin and I (both 18+STR) doubleteam his lame ass >hold him down and force him to punch his own face into submission >break his neck and roll him over the side >high five, take soarwhale for ourselves, and run our asses out of there to get reinforcements
Naw, man. Fantasy campaign. The bad guy was kind of your noble, conflicted antihero and something of the DM's pet, I think. You know, the guy who's all angsty about it when he's kicking your ass. I just wanted to spite him before I went.
>tfw never actually get very far in any campaigns >they always die before anything really cool happens
The one exception is the one campaign where I made a character all about strength and luck who was constantly fucked over by dice rolls. It was a 2-player campaign.
>be short half elf, companion is a middle-aged elf >need to go into an old factory to figure out where the fuck some asshole is >a few mook fights later we find the asshole, he sends mooks at us and we're surrounded >cue both me and my partner blowing nearly all our resources whiffing every hit and getting slowly ground down by tiny little chinks of damage >partner finally gets KO'd, I have to stand over her unconscious body to keep the mooks from just stomping her to death >have two turns before I am rendered completely helpless >roll double nat 20's and confirm both >two-shot the boss, instagib a mook, get exhausted but manage to instagib the last minion >crawl over and jam a health potion into my companion's mouth, then continue on and do the rest of the job >two dungeons later we both get assfucked by a goblin druid, but I took him down before we both died to his cougar animal companion
I really liked those characters, and regret not taking the GM's offer to just bullshit out an NPC to bail our underleveled asses out.
>Playing halfling pugilist >The party is investigating suspicions of an unknown party attempting to start a race war in the city, tensions are high >We find some bandits apparently creating hate-mongering propaganda on an alley wall >I tackle one, the other two are quickly subdued without much fuss >Begin interrogating the one I'm now standing over, not getting much when my character notices the wall to his left is covered in racist shit about mostly halflings >"I punch this guy as hard as I can in the shoulder," thinking it'll hurt but won't be fatal >It's about this time I realize I'd zoned out OOC when the DM was describing the bandits >They're peasant NPC teenagers >With 4 HP >I punched him in the shoulder for 13 damage
And that's how I punched a kid's arm off, put him in a brief coma, and am now attempting to make things right and also make him my pupil.
>>44889860 >Dark Heresy, >went investigating an abandoned Hive Spire looking for the hideout of a Radical Inquisitor that went rogue. >Place is overrun with gangers and mutants that all come out of the woodwork. >gang-boss rushes my scum. Scum is out of shells for his shot gun. >fuckit! swing shotgun like a bat >Exploding Dice Crit >Gang-Boss's head goes flying off into the outfield >Glorious.
>deadlands >playing black hat cowboy, shoot first ask questions maybe type guy >only member of the party who rolled well enough to know how vampires work just before we raid a cave system on top of an ancient aztek vampire thing >we shoot up so many vampires on the way down, before coming to a huge chamber. a line of vampires is in front of us >GM sets up paper minis to track positioning >one is aaaaaaall the way in the back >pull out my winchester, which functions as a sniper rifle according to previous experiences >"I shoot that one. In the heart" >dice explode, 20ish damage, another player uses an action card (or whatever they're called) to double the damage of one attack. 40something straight to the vampire's heart >the thing's chest explodes, GM has a bunch of chips and insists on rolling vigor tests to not have it oneshot. >ends up as close to death as possible while still being concious, its heart is just hanging in a giant hole in its torso >next round I shoot it in the heart again, this time it sticks. afterward the GM informed us that we were gonna have to roll guts checks when the ancient evil grandaddy vampire came at us. I remarked that it didn't seem so scary.
>>44889860 >Fellow party member betrayed my character and left her for dead in a haunted mansion that supposedly only had one way out. >Fuck that, found another way out and then prepared my revenge. >Knew the party was heading into an underground facility next, so I got to the facility first to try and rig traps to kill the other PC. >However, something even better was in the facility: Two fully intact Nuclear Warheads. >My character was an explosive expert, and so passed an insane test to rig the Nukes to explode >Took some robots and other creatures and released them in the facility since I had cleared it out prior so the party wouldn't be suspicious. >Party got delayed on their way to the facility so I had plenty of time to do all this.
>The party finally walks into the facility a week after my supposed 'death'. So far I still only thought that one PC was in on the plot to kill me so I targeted her only. >Started fucking with the security and power system, eventually I'm able to split the PC off from the others and lock her inside of a room. I reveal myself to her and then ask her why she wished to kill me. Apparently it was because I was 'evil' even though my character did nothing to her (It was most likely OOC tension, my character was partially responsible for his previous character getting killed because she was a murderous cunt). >Drive the rest of the party out of the facility and then get them out of the blast radius just in time. Blow up the entire facility killing not only the PC, but several important NPCs that were in the facility or in the immediate area. >Over all I apparently killed around 10,000 people and 6 important NPCs. >IC none were the wiser and OOC the other players only figured it out until it was too late since I did most of the prep work in a solo-session.
>>44889860 Not my kill, but I'm in a game of Shadowrun where each of the PCs woke up in the back of an upside down van with no memories of who they were. We had no character sheets, and picked our characters based purely on physical description. Last session, our adept decided to kick a tree because there was a guy behind it he wanted to kill. We all laughed, but then the GM revealed that the adept had a power that dealt crazy amounts of damage to immobile structures, and he ended up felling the tree in one blow and crushing the guy behind it. Wilhelm Screams were played, a good time was had by all.
>>44889860 D&D 3.5 core books only. We were level 10, there were three of us; a Fighter, a rogue, and a sorcerer.
>One more door left in this dungeon. >Fighter opens door and on the other side is a Beholder. >IMMEDIATELY slam door shut. >werefucked.jpg >Fighter says, "I try to break the door off it's hinges" >Nat20 of course >Rips door off, turns it sideways, and pushes it against door frame. >Other two players reinforce it and keep it in place with Immovable Rods >Proceed to take eleventy rounds of pot shots, throwing everything we can find at the Beholder >Beholder fails every chance at breaking the door down. >Win battle of attrition.
>>44889860 My shadowdancer tore the head off a dragon with a shadow conjuration'd major creation (made an adamintine guillotine blade while my fist was rammed down a hole I tore in its neck, GM okay'd it but ruled I'd lose the arm up to the elbow in the process). Got a new hand by convincing my GM to let me use my shadow minion as a sort of symbiotic prosthetic.
>RT >Boarding a ship >They're putting up heavy resistance >Flamers keeping us held back >Charge forward with chainsword, felling my foes >"Roll to stay upright in all the gore" >97 >"Oh jeeze. Roll a fumble" >99 >"Oh...you stumble forward...into a promethium tank" >Burn fate to live >Player points out the blast radius >GM spends 10 mins with a ruler >"o-oh..." >Chain reactions >Flamers and tanks of promethium erupt >Munitions stockpiles burn >He rolls for structural damage >The explosion rips both ships apart >Thousands dead >Most survivors will die in the void
>>44898405 I mean that there's a lot of things you don't know since you weren't there.
>What's the door made of? >What's the state of magic in the dungeon we were in? >What condition was the Beholder in? >What was happening on the other side of the doorway? >Why did the Beholder take shots at us when it could see us instead of hitting the door? >How does it feel to have your mum wrecked by a Giant-Eyed Monster so bad?
>Shadowrun >Playing a satyr orc adept >Basically playing a pacifist phantom thief with stun weapons who has the showmanship of tuxedo mask >Fighting a group of mooks with assault rifles in a smoke-filled hallway, make some good rolls and basically charge the nearest guy by running low to the ground and keeping quiet >Hit him with shock gloves, intending to stun him outright >Crit/roll max damage (I can't remember how it works in SR) >tfw your pacifist character accidentally fries a man's brain in the first session
He spent the rest of the campaign terrified to hit anyone above the waist.
>>44889860 I was an Inquisitor and my friend was a something I can't remember currently We came across a bunch of cultists and Devil in Pathfinder We convinced the Cultists to kill each other and then me, him and an NPC made a Wooden Finger that shot projectiles and I added a spell that I don't quite remember that makes it do more damage to Others (Demons and such). We shot the Demon and then closed in for the kill, I got impaled on it's horns and then my friend proceed to smash him into bits. It was great.
>>44889860 >Second session of WHFRPG 2.0 campaign, skaven BBEGs. >party gets chased by swarms of clanrats and stormvermin up their tunnels >Not supposed to fight but to run obviously, we could never take 30+ skaven >I, apprentice wizard, spot poison wind globadier in the middle of the horde >cast "drop weapon" on the sucker. >30+skaven kills confirmed by poison wind >globadier run-runs.
The poison chased us up nonetheless, but I´m sure clanrats didn´t have any valuables.
>>44898485 >burning fate >dying anyway Even if there was a logic to the chain reaction, fate point dynamic should have dictated that the specific tanks would have been empty. Survival at any cost is what FP are for.
>>44890040 This reminds me of the final boss fight in an adeva game I was in, except my character had gained the Angel trait and so was immune to ego damage, and used ATT talents to pump her sync ratio to above 200, giving her Heavenly, Celerity, and a free fate point every round, allowing her to use two AT powers at (over) full strength.
For a grand finale I used anti-AT field to merge our evas together with the airship we possessed to form a giant eva Gurren Lagann-style.
My character's girlfriend was there too, except she really didn't need saving because berserkers are strong as fuck in 2.5 and she could just keep getting back up indefinitely after taking critical damage as long as she was willing to take insanity.
>superhero game >i'm some not!airbending scrub >get ambushed in an alley by gunmen >use extra power in hopes of knocking one out >extra power gives x2 damage >damage is already very high >somehow manage to crit >damage turns into x4 >high as fuck roll >the blast shreds him into nothing but pink mist >we're all covered in blood >the alleyway is painted red by droplets >mfw
when i killed a lvl 6 player with a lvl 2 soldier with 2 HP left
the soldier was left with 2 HP, he shouted "MY LIFE FOR THE EMPEROR!" and stabbed the guy in the throat after rolling 20 20 20 luckily for the guy it was just a dream of an ancient war which that not!Roman empire won
Fencer that had recently become a paladin in an aggressively neutral setting going up against the assassin that killed his bro for life.
The assassin had a fairly lengthy taunt about how delusional the paladin oath was, no such thing as good and evil, yadda yadda. Usual bad guy crap in a grim grey universe.
>"Let's put it to the test, then." >Win initiative, declare smite, attack, get a 17 for critical threat. >Roll a 20 to confirm, which makes it a double-crit by the house rules we were using at the time >Assassin critfails his saving throw against massive damage and dies instantly.
I remember it happened one of the few times we played Deathwatch. I don't remember much of the details, but I played as a Librarian. A chaos cultist had stolen some tank in a city and we managed to kill him while keeping it mostly intact. We investigated a nearby church/cathedral and it was filled to the brim with chaos cultists. I yelled "THIS AREA IS UNCLEAN! PURIFY IT!" And casted smite as strong as possible. I destroyed most of the cultists instantly and my perils roll was getting shocked with the same damage myself.
I managed to survive, albeit being completely limp for a while. The others dragged me otiside while Tau started arriving. A Tau commander came to talk with us and one of my squad mates had to hold me up as I spoke with them since I was the team leader. All of my hair was gone too. And my helmet. So a Tau commander was talking to a severely burnt, hairless, limp space marine with a burning building behind him.
>Don full body armor of some shmuck I just interrogated and subsequently blew his head off when I realized he knew nothing useful >Bluff my way into the center of the terrorists com center >Convince the commander to smoke a novelty cigarette that was a bullet that was actually a missile >Claim I have diarrhea and bolt before the detonation kills 30 people >I just Bugs Bunnied some motherfucker >MFW I realize how my first shadowrun character is going to turn out
>Playing monk in pathfinder >Party is scaling the ivory spire in generic badguy land >Fighting through all the disfigured experimental horrors along the way. >Finally get to the top where the mad scientist wizard is completing a experiment on a hydra >Have to fight this hydra which has 6 heads, each one of a different elemental dragon. >Party is suffering greatly but so is the hydra after we find out electricity stops its heads from growing back (due to a few lucky chain lightnings). >Mad wizard realizes he's probably next and goes for the window after grabbing some kind of pillow from a nearby bookcase. >Righht after the last elemental head of the hydra is destroyed he jumps out. >Since I have the highest move speed I get there before everyone else in the party. >The mad wizard must have enchanted that pillow with feather fall because he's floating down about 120ft down the 300ft tower. >Have an idea. >Yell at the wizard to cast fly on me (he does) and I jump out after. >Ask GM how fast I could fall if I tried to assist my falling with fly. >He says I'd be falling faster but asks why. >Tell him I'm about to deliver a terminal velocity axe kick to the villian's spine. >Barely make the attack roll and nearly have the leg ripped off. >But I fucking axe kicked a falling man in half. >Catch the two halves of a corpse and slow down enough to stop almost all of the fall damage. >Next session is Sunday.
I played a one-shot 5e campaign at a friend's house last month that ended with my Monk uppercutting a gargoyle off a banquet table and then jumping into an elbow drop onto its neck while it was prone on the ground, decapitating it.
>>44889860 My 3.5 party played in Warhammer Fantasy's setting because it was my first D&D game (and Warhammer was the only setting I was familiar with) went to the grim darkness of the far future, and my Bard/sorcerer diplomancer got himself a crossbow of scorching ray (also known as a lasgun, not that he would know that). I think we were level 5 or 6.
We bugged out after bringing a Mega Armoured Warboss (using the Iron Golem rules) to 0 hp, and killed the wyrdboy who was going to open the portal that would let them into the WHFB world. I was the first one out, and decided to give my fellows some cover fire. I got a 20 to hit the warboss at extreme range, confirmed, and rolled high enough to finish the big green bastard off.
>>44889860 This was more in a group I was in, but I'm gonna count it.
>>Playing Pathfinder as an Alchemist >>Get to near end of the campaign, fighting one of BBEG Lieutenants >>Something something backstory, he killed my parents, left me to raise brother alone, yadda yadd ect. >>End up in epic 1 v 1 as rest of party is dunking on his minions >>Get him down to low HP, I'm hulking out on Mutagens and homebrew-fantasy cocaine that buffs my damage done and taken >>Knock him down to 0, he's disabled >>My friend is a barbarian, tries to be cheeky, rolls to charge and steal the kill >>Nat 1 >>Confirms >>Pull a card from the crit fail deck because DM wasted money on, He'll be damned if he's not gonna use it >>Attack hits adjecent Ally >>Rolls Max damage, he was power attacking >>Get cut in half and die instantly >>Party goes on to die trying to stop BBEG
>>44889860 Killing a red dragon by dropping one half of a portal ring pair into an extremely deep, high pressure zone of an ocean, locking the other onto my warforged's arm and carving the thing to death with incredibly concentrated jets of water.
>L5R >Be scorpion samurai, in a party of 8 other house samurai bro and one other scorp-bro who you know is a ninja >everyone is neutral dick or chaotic dick to scorp-bros >have some adventures and social weebo time >come to a keep/town and BBEG his army of ink demons? attack >In court yard with party when 4 story tall oni and sorceress show up >dont know magic >ashigaru getting wrekt'd in front of eyes >party fight oni feet to no avail >run away from combat to were its safe in the keep >the doors cant be secured >everyone thinks you're a cowardly scorp with no honor >next round climb the stares of the keep, and eveyone fights >next round, still not safe crab-jerk dies climb to the third floor >third floor is gone cant go up >got to the edge, the witch is dying >ink demon is stooping over eating guards and crab bro while fighting the party >a scorpion never flees only sets for the perfect strike >runs and jumps from the 3rd floor >the demon is 20ish feet away a viscous howl escapes >next round >giant ink oni turns to see scorpion land on its face sword pierces its eye >black ooze sprays >visions almost gone >pull out family's blade and ram it into the oni's other eyes >the world rushes up as the creature falls under foot to the ground >stand up to see the party amazed and surprised > earns the respect of the rest of the party >walk to the edge of town, everyone is now scorp's bro. >army of 1000 demons stands before us >Dies in mass combat cause that shit is fatal as fuck for no reason >fist and last L5R game.
This was in Only War, and our fleet had come across a Space Hulk filled with Orks.
Our squad had found a gigantic chamber, with Orks covering the floor, and a Gargant in the middle of it, which they were just starting to power up to move through sheer belief in their Gods.
We were on a set of gangplanks and walkways about halfway up. We had a small squad of the commando-type NPCs with us, and were meeting up with another squad of them, one of which had a detonator on him. This detonator would blow the charges placed under the floor of the room, killing the Orks and stopping the Gargant.
Unfortunately, the squad we were meeting had been shot, and we didn't know which body the detonator was on.
Orks were pouring up ladders onto our level, and we were trying to slowly advance and shoot our way to the bodies, and it was working just fine. Until an Ork Nob showed up.
The heavy gunner and the medic full-on sprinted to the furthest body, with the rest of the squad laying down covering fire. The heavy gunner managed to get off a few blasts at the Nob, before it engaged and cut his comrade in half with its power klaw.
As it was engaged in combat, he couldn't shoot, so he drops his auto-cannon and rummages through the body. Luckily we'd picked the one with the detonator, so he presses it and the floor explodes, causing total devastation.
The Orks we're fighting are stunned and completely lost. The Nob takes some heavy steps towards where the Gargant (and, as far as he's concerned, the living embodiment of his Gods) had fallen. This gives the medic enough time to seize the auto-cannon and blast away at him, scoring just enough hits to kill him.
We then all ran as fast as we could while that section of the hulk collapsed behind us.
>>44889860 Two that happened in the same encounter, and some of the few that wasn't stolen from me by the Fighter or Wizard. 1. Pinned a goblin to the ceiling with an arrow and his own spiky armor. When the place was renovated afterwards they left the arrow and armor there.
2. A little bit after that a Hellhound showed up and breath weapon'd the guards we were with, my character's gf was the only one who failed their Reflex roll. Next count I roll max damage on a shot and down it, rushing over to the lady to see how badly she was roasted. Funnily enough they have four Hellhounds as pets now, they're very warm and snuggly.
Probably the time I cut an eldritch abomination in half.
Long story short, we were hunting down an evil cult sacrificing people to a squidbomination, things went pear-shaped, and we were facing something about the size of a house with more tentacles than a hentai convention. I knew we were fucked, so I told everyone else to run while I covered their retreat. What I hoped for was that it'd chew on my corpse long enough for them to get away, and maybe use one of the cannons back in town to avenge me. What I didn't count on was the luckiest roll of my life.
For those unfamiliar with the system, in Savage Worlds you roll your standard assortment of polyhedrals to determine success - a d4 if you're terrible, a d6 if you're average, and so on. If you roll the highest possible number, it's an "ace," and the die explodes - roll again, stack the numbers. You then compare it to a difficulty - your enemy's defense if you're attacking, and their toughness for determining damage - for every four you beat it by, you "raise" - a critical success. You can only get one raise on attacks, but you can get any number when damaging your opponent - and each is an extra wound. Three wounds is generally a kill, but sometimes (like tonight) big monsters can get substantially more.
Opening attack, I hit it with an Ace, so I get a Raise on my attack. Now I get an extra damage die. I then proceed to Ace both of those when I roll damage, and get several more Aces when I reroll. I forget the final number, but it was somewhere in the neighborhood of eight raises. Which, as it turns out, was not just enough to kill it, but enough that its only hope of surviving was to ace its soak roll. It did not.
And that's how my last stand turned into me killing the cult's pet God in a single hit.
taking down an succubus with a critical, power attacked, smite evil'd great sword swing, and then skinning it's wings with a natural 20 and having my cleric make a scabbard for me from it's wing leather on another natural 20
I confronted a prominent capa (crime lord) who was directly responsible for the untimely and rather horrible deaths of a long running NPC ally and his family.
She was fairly confident that despite all the evidence, she had enough pull in the city that nobody would do a thing about it, and she was probably right. It was that kind of city.
So while were standing there, the four of us lowly thieves and brutes, in front of one the heads of the underworld, and her entourage, in her own tavern, being told to go fuck ourselves, my alchemist realised that maybe it was a good time to use that vial of Aqua Regina I had kept hidden in my sleeve for a rainy day.
His aim was true, and you could hear the screams clear across the city, as the GM told it.
>>44889860 i have a few >lvl 1 party of 5, first time playing >just cleared a cave of goblins and are about to enter the last room >no light's because drow elf can see in the dark and wants to scout ahead for traps >he walks ahead of the group and starts searching >can't see the bugbear hiding behind a huge rock >a roar is heard through out the cave >thisisit.jpg >bugbear comes around and stealth crits the poor guy for 57 damage, turning him into paste
>>44908695 >enter town that's been taken over by bandits >party has gotten a cleric with 15 passive wisdom >fucker can see all the secret doors I put without even searching for them >they go through the bandit's base and make it to the leader >they fucking come at him through his escape hatch >Bandit leader turns around and shit's himself at the sight of 6 people in his quarters >The fighter in out group cleaves him in half with second wind and 2 crits
I hope it still counts if the death was that of a party member.
>IKRPG >We're mercs hired to investigate possible traitors in Merin, neutral nation's capitol (basically Spanish Switzerland) >Turns out the traitors were working for Not!Russia who, as always, want to CONQUER ZE VORLD >We learn of a hidden supply cache in an abandoned warehouse and we head to check it out >Our sneaky elf sniper climbs the building and finds a skylight to get a vantage point >He flubs his sneak and is noticed by the bad guys in the warehouse >One is a spellcaster >He knows a knockback spell >This would not be a problem normally, however, the elf is at a much higher elevation than the spellcaster >The GM decides that the spell knocks him back...and up >GM gives him like 4 agility checks to save himself >He flubs all of them >Our characters saw the elf fly up off the warehouse roof and hit about 4 flagpoles/awnings on the way down >My trollkin was good friends with the elf and swore vengeance...and to take care of his wife and NEWBORN DAUGHTER >I end up kicking the spellcaster into a vat of molten metal (turns out the warehouse wasn't completely abandoned or something) >We finally find the hidden supply cache! >It's full of deactivated Berserker warjacks! (semisentient walking tanks) >One starts to wake up! >We collectively NOPE so hard we leave the country to be taken over and completely derail the campaign
>>44908791 final one >party is coming back from killing hobgoblins and saving a dwarf >Golden Dragonkin Barbarian recently had an alignment shift because he was being an asshole to the party and killing innocent people who weren't "important" > Party stumbles across a group of other adventurer's consisting of a Paladin, Ranger, and a Mage. > the Paladin looks and the barbarian with disgust seeing as how he's now teetering between neutral and evil, but lets him off because the Cleric says he's rehabilitating him > The group begins to walk away when the barbarian in question says, "ya you better run bitch" >hereitcomes.rar >paladin turns around, misty steps to get right in his face, uses holy smite, and crits the barbarian for around 80 damage >barbarian gets crushed by the huge ass maul this guy's carrying
>>44889860 More like a deny, but a xenos in carapace armor was fighting a guardsman I had rolled up, and I had apparently gotten him down to one wound and he used some kind of drug and failed a roll, which caused him to take one wound in damage. The GM told the guy I was fighting suddenly liquefied and began to leak out of his armor I still took that armor
>d20 Modern >This system is terrible >Decide I want to play a artificer-like character this time around >Just end up making rudimentary explosives >Backpack is stuffed with pipe bombs >Group gets ambushed and knocked out as we break into a warehouse >Wake up by myself in a trunk hands and legs are zip-tied >"Do I have my stuff still?" >"Yeah, they just tied you up and tossed you in." >Successful escape check has me break my arm bonds and cut myself lose with pocket knife >"Do I have my lighter?" >"Uh.. Yeah, it's in your pocket." >Kick down back seat arm rest that leads to trunk >Light backpack full of explosives >Huck into the front seat and pray >Front half of car is obliterated and I go flying hitting an abandoned mattress on the side of the road before tumbling into a street post
>>44889860 I think my Barbarian and Paladin had my favorite kills.
>be half-orc barbarian >party's wandering to find the King/evil cult >see giant fighting a group in the distance >"I wanna kill it." >party insists we find out what's going on first >find out Giant is fighting a previous cult we encountered >take that as my cue to murder >stab one cultist >cultist begs for his life and says he'll tell us some info we let him live >party tells me go kill the giant >barbarian is now satisfied >busts out his bastard sword 'Earthbreaker' and a longsword he got from a deathknight >charge at the monster >deal more damage to it than fiteen cultists did in the last two minutes >Giant bitch smacks my dude almost killing him >Druid and the Sorceror cast some magic on it >Paladin patches me back up >"Round 2 motherfucker" >charge at it in my bloodthirsty rage >roll to hit the fucker >nat 20 >drive Earthbreaker into the giant's leg >use the handle of the sword so I could jump and stab it right in it's fucking face >barbarian just rides down as the thing smacks onto the ground >and when I pull out the sword from it's skull >it practically rains blood >cutlists were scared shitless
Then my paladin
>sworn oath to the crown >protect the royal family >stuck in some shitty dungeon with a group of murder hobos >turns out this is dungeon belongs to my King's younger brother who seceded and made his own kingdom >party breaks out >entrance is with in our grasp >bard wants to take a shit on the throne >imout.gif >just walk out side while their fighting guards >guards outside ask if I'm a new recruit >"Yes" >roll bluff check >get a 5 >they know I'm not a new recruit
>>44889860 Being a gigantic half-orc warrior with 22 strength and somehow get thrown like a baseball by a dwarf ranger who rolled a nat 20 on throwing me to stab an ice giant in the face with a mercurial greatsword
>>44889860 It was simple but I really enjoyed planeshifting a traitor Paladin turned Anti-Paladin BBEG Lieutenant to Lawful Good plane (Heaven in this case) along with myself for me and my impromptu angel buddies to beat the shit out of him.
I know it doesn't sound like a lot but my DM made it sound cool as fuck because he liked the idea of me taking the former servant of law and good this dude was to get his rightful comeuppance for betraying his former allies.
I wasn't even a good guy but thought it was a good idea.
>>44908979 i got one for my paladin too. Not a kill, but still funny imo >be trying to find some guy named Tobias "one eye" >Some local lord put a bounty out and my party accepted the quest to find him >go to port city or Antella to find the guy >decide, "let's check a brothel, even if he's not there, whores have tons of info" >get info from whores, he frequents the brothels around town and comes to this one on tuesdays >fuck the half-orc that i paid an hour for >100 gold an hour, total scam >Pussy was good though >decide to fuck around town till tuesday >Big Momma says it's okay if we use her establishment like an inn and we sleep in the basement >it's Tuesday and i'm waiting outside the Brothel waiting for him to enter. >the rest of my party's at the other entrances and exits > i see him go in and proceed to get my manacles > enter behind him and he turns around >see's 6'5'' man in full plate with manacles smiling at him >probably thought i was gonna fuck him >he slips away and i chase him through the building >we get to the second story and there's no where for him to go >fucker jumps out of a window >not on my watch >jump out the window right after him >land on his legs and break them as well as my arm >heal him and myself and put him in cuffs >turn him in >Get 3000 gold
>Cleric down to last 25 hp against lich necromancer. >Necromancer is packing tons of protection spells, including, of course, protection from positive energy. >Cast spell theft. >Steal almost all his spells, but most importantly protection from positive. >He casts Harm, unaware of my contingency death ward. >Cast heal on him next turn. >Nat 20. He fails his save. >TFW 300 damage
>>44889860 >Capture sadistic priest of evil torture goddess, forget name >Want to hurt her, because she's gone after our allies. >Know she gets off on pain >Idea >Use potions and spells to make her incapable of feeling anything >Make her watch as we heal the victims she had in a dungeon. >Resurrect a little girl she had killed. >Hold torch to her foot to demonstrate she CAN'T feel anything. >Mock her that evil torture goddess will never want her now. >Leave her in a locked room. Food and water supplied. Manacles prevent spellcasting. Single dagger provided, sharp enough for combat. >She commits suicide while on our watch >Trap the soul >Mock her some more. >She's now a gem in a statue on my wizard's desk.
Not exactly a kill, but it was a complete undermining of someone's strategy.
So, we're playing ffrpg. I'm playing a blue mage who, unfortunate, can't do much damage against Cagnazzo, the fiend of water. I had made him with a martial arts flair, gloves as weapons, advantages to give him two attacks, and flavored his blue magic as martial techniques.
This was a terrible idea in practice as his attacks did pithy damage, and I had yet to get a spell that would let me do significant damage, especially with splitting level up boosts between strength and magic.
What I did have was a small pharmacy to support allies and some battle items (ala antarctic winds).
So, Cagnazzo uses his Tsunami attack, dealing damage and freezing two people. (Can't act, physical damage kills them)
My Blue Mage is suitably impressed, lamenting he can't learn it. Cagnazzo gloats it's the power of the fiends and such, far beyond any mortal power, yadda yadda.
I mention there is one thing it's not beyond.
A weak fire battle item to one of the stronger frozen characters deals a pithy 1 fire elemental damage after his considerable magic armor. That's still enough to unfreeze him.
My monk in 5th Edition got into an aerial dogfight with a young green dragon (assisted by a pair of Winged Boots and a ring of poison resistance) and managed to punch it out of the air repeatedly until the accumulated fall damage pretty much crippled it. The druid and the warlock were the ones to get the actual kill on the ground but it still felt fucking awesome.
>first ever adventure >be DM >boss room, Necro and his flesh golem >dwarf player wants to turn a table to create a wall >come up with a table-flip rule >flip it with strength from the side or make an agility check when walking on it to see if it looses balance >elf archer pews from a table >golem charges him >steps on table >critical failure >table flips >elf easily evades >golem falls down >falls into a chandelier >gets set on fire >gets skewered by chandelier >fall damage was just enough to instantly kill it
Then the elf got a club to the head from a skeleton and somehow survived bleeding out for the entire fight.
I filled in for a campaign my older brother was running for his friends in high school. >get knocked down by owl bear out of nowhere while walking >brother makes joke about its huge penis smacking me repeatedly in the face >called shot attack on the Dick >roll 2 natty 20s >Critical on owl bear's pickle, OHKOs him >ended an encounter my brother planned to take half the evening in like 5 minutes. >we just go to a party and get Drunk instead
>>44905600 Well, we had no magical weapons and thus no way to actually touch the shadow as it slowly drained our strength away. Alchemist's Fire was ruled as magical by the DM, which allowed me to hit the shadow. My usage of it was not explicitly in the rules, but I pitched it and the DM was on board.
So I punched it to death with the fire on my fists.
>>44889860 >Playing as a fighter in 3.5 >Trying to piece together a magical elemental sword for some quest or something >First piece is the hilt, no problem >Second piece is an insert for the hilt, adds acid damage >Suddenly, Adamantine Golem smashes through stage left >Oh shit, we're level 5 and our cleric is out of town >Golem grabs me and throws me through a wall after one-shotting the barbarian >Comes in to finish the job >Decide I'm going down screaming >Take the acid insert for the sword, roll to stab the golem through his visor >Nat 20 >Confirm? Nat 20 >Elemental acid insert expends all its charges at once >Golem takes 914 points of acid damage to his face
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