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Military Mage Quest #6 (Previously Military...
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Thread replies: 72
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Previous Thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/44805034/
Character Sheet: http://pastebin.com/vw7QrCFc

Previously on Military Mage: You, Matsushita Miyako, mage-soldier to the Transdimensional Mage's Peacekeeping Alliance, underwent your contraction ceremony with your squad. It was a grueling process but you come out stronger for it, gaining more power and becoming a Private Second Class. You were then assigned to the 475th Training Brigade and after recieving orders from your platoon commander, Takahashi Miura, you set out from Magical Education Facility Thirteen and onwards towards the borderworld of Eranku to mount a counter offensive against the Imperial forces present on the planet.

The inside of the craft was silent. Kazue twiddled her thumbs and Chikako stared at the floor. You looked at Squad 721 at the other side of the shuttle as it travelled through space. It was comprised of four boys and one girl. The girl was sleeping, her hat covering her eyes as she attempted to slump down in her seat. The silence dragged on in the gray, metal interior of the shuttle before it eventually stopped, the rattling of the overhead handles giving way to an even greater silence. Takahashi unbuckled her seatbelt from the front and entered the main area of the ship, gripping a handlebar.
"Attention!" He says, and the rest of the shuttle perks up, their eyes focused on the Lieutenant. "We're gonna be together for who knows how long, so may as well get to know each other. Introduce yourselves."
Maiya took the lead. "Fujimura Maiya. Sergeant."
One of the guys from Squad 721 tapped his friend's shoulder. "Tatsuo Iwata. Sergeant." He said.
"Iguchi Yochino. Private First Class." Said another guy.
"Mitake Osamu. Private Second Class"
"Yuki Sumaro. Lance Corporal."
Last was the girl. "Matoba Aiko. Private Second Class."

[]Matsushita Miyako. Private Second Class.
[]Matsushita. How are you?
[]Can we skip with the pleasantries, Lieutenant?
[]Write in.
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>[]Matsushita Miyako. Private Second Class.

>Military Mage Quest #6
ITS HERE! *again, again*

Went to bed at 7 PM so i could wake up 2:30 AM just to not skip this part of the quest. I DO THIS FOR YOU QM! (Picture related)
>[]Can we skip with the pleasantries, Lieutenant?
>[]Matsushita Miyako. Private Second Class.

Holy shit, anon. Are you just going for the most un-Japanese option just to be edgy? Fuck, even a chuuni would know that they need to conform right now.
Not that anon, but conforming can go suck a cactus. I eat eggs with ketchup and everyone else can deal with it.
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Now is a good a time as ever to introduce yourself to your platoon you decide. "Matsushita Miyako. Private Second Class." You say.
Kazue is next, despite the circumstances, her voice is still as energetic as ever. "Araki Kazue. Private First Class."
Mio spoke. "Nakasone Mio. Private Second Class."
Last was Chikako. "Shioya Chikako. Corporal."
Takahashi chuckled a little. "Nice to meet both of you. We'll be touching down in about fifteen minutes so be ready."
"Yes sir!" Was the reply by everyone else.

"So." Kazue began. She always was intrested in meeting new people. "How is everyone doing?"
Iguchi, Tatsuo, and Yuki didn't say anything.
"Oi, Kazue." Whispered Mio. "This isn't the time."
"Why not?" She whispered back.
"Just let them do what they want."
Kazue leaned back.
Matoba woke up from her rest, and looked towards Kazue. "Araki-san was it?"
Kazue nodded.
"You were in the karate club right?"
"That's right. How'd you know?"
"Went to go see some of the matches. You're pretty good."
Kazue laughs and scratches the back of her head.
"Ahaha what can I say?" Maiya hits her on the back of her head.
Mitake laughs.
"Fujimura-san, loosen up. It's not like we're your superiors or anything."
"Just relax. We'll be at the surface in a little bit."
You sigh.

[]Yeah, Maiya. You're a bit too tense.
[]Is this really the time to "loosen up"? When we're heading off to a battlefield?
[]Write in

Don't feel like we'd say anything right this second in particular.

(I'm still trying to fight for a version of the MC where we're nice and pleasant enough on the outside, but are still pissed off about absolutely everything that's happened so far deep down. Is that a thing you other anons are cool with or no?)
No I am not okay with that anon, you have it all set up to quickly. I would leave decisions like that over to the other anons and see what options they will pick as the quest lasts.
Well, nuts, but alright.
>[]Yeah, Maiya. You're a bit too tense.
Too tense will just mean your reaction time is slower.
Fuck you, this isn't your character, this is the players' character.
If people don't vote for your shit, then it's shit people don't want.
Wow wow, Chill son.. He just came up with an suggestion, Its not going to kill anyone to just read it trough...
And this is comming from the same dude who wrote >>44825360
Sorry for the late response guys.

You keep quiet.
Maiya relaxes her shoulders. "Fine fine."
You could barely see the dark expanse of space outside the window at the front of the ship, an enviorment that you had seen on television but had never dreamed of inhabiting in real life. Yet here you were.
A voice comes out from the radio at the front. "Attention, Tsubasa 232. Do you read, Tsubasa 232?"
"Reading you loud and clear on all channels, Homebase." Replies the pilot. "Do we have authorization to enter airspace?"
"Please send your authorization codes, Tsubasa 232."
The pilot flips a couple switches. The shuttle slows down. "Just sent those codes, Homebase."
"Need verbal confirmation, Tsubasa 232."
"Roger. 239-701-AB4."
There's a pause. "It all checks out, Tsubasa 232. You are cleared for entrance into the airspace. Glory to the Alliance."
"Glory to the Alliance." The pilot cuts the transmission. He turns to the rest of the passangers. "We'll be beginning our entrance into Eranku airspace in a few minutes."
Takahashi turns to everyone else. "Remember our mission everyone. We will be joining up with the 3rd Company and be commencing a counter offensive against the Empire. They have recently taken over the city of Yutai to the north of our base camp. We will link up with the 7th Company at the Bataka Mountains to the north and then push through those hills into the city. Expect heavy resistance. Are there any questions?"

[]What is Eranku like, Lieutenant?
[]Once we have taken the city, what then Lieutenant Takahashi?
[]Will we be getting reinforcements?
[]What about the non-magical forces?
[]Write in
>[]What is Eranku like, Lieutenant?
Kinda already head from you last thread what Eranku is like but if there is more details to it other than *slightly icy world* then I would like those.
>[]Write in
"Are there non-combatants or local civilians we should watch out for?"
>[]What is Eranku like, Lieutenant?
>[]What is Eranku like, Lieutenant?
Need more detail than 'Ice World'. Any kind of expected hostile native fauna or natural obstructions through those hills?

>What's our estimated fighting strength, and can we estimate the enemy's?
Suporting this:>>44826429
>>What's our estimated fighting strength, and can we estimate the enemy's?

As well.
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"Permission to speak, Lieutenant."
"Granted, Private Matsushita. What is it?"
"What is Eranku like? Also, are there non-combatants or local civilians we should watch out for?"
The ship rumbles a little bit as it starts to enter Eranku's atmosphere.
"Eranku has temperatures that can plummet in the negitives even on the summer, especially in the far northern region where we will be going. As a Class 4 world, it has an atmosphere that is very thin, forcing the inhabitants of the planet to wear gas masks at all time. This harsh enviorment has also forced the civilians of the planet to construct self-contained cities that are insulated and heat-regulating. In the mid-region of the area we will be landing at is a large tundra that eventually gives way to a canyon that was carved out by a large river several million years ago. The locals call this fissure the Edge. On the southern region of the Edge are various Imperial settlements which have been heavily fortified. To the north is a variety of mountain ranges that lead to military and scientific establishments that must be eliminated if the Alliance is to advance on the southern Imperial settlements. The fighting forces of both our armies are evenly matched so expect to fight for every inch. There is little vegitation on this planet due to the cold temperatures and this has led to a small amount of fauna that inhabit the planet as well. Let me stress this: this world is a barren wasteland with almost nothing of value other than the precious minerals to the north that the Empire has been extracting for their own battle emplacements across the planet, especially along the southern end of the Edge."
He pauses.
"Looks like we're touching down. Suit up everyone."
Everyone looks around and nods before the engines stop, the winds grow faster, and the back of the shuttle opens.
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The base camp was alive with various elements of the Alliance military, from regular soldiers to the logistics branch to mages like yourself. A protective heat shielding was errected around the camp, created by the fire mages of the military. You were soon ushered into the 475th Brigade's barracks at the northern end of the emcampment. There, you met up with the 3rd Company who led you and the rest of the platoons (around three in all) into the briefing chamber. It was a large audience hall, the kind that looked more like it was used for lectures than mission briefings.

Captain Yamazaki stood at the front, a map of the north of Eranku spread out behind him.
"The 475th Brigade will be participating in a joint operation with the 89th Armed Forces Brigade to retake the city to the north." He began. "Keep in mind that each and everyone of the 89th are trained soldiers. These people are vets. Don't keep them up having to babysit you, you hear me?"
"Yes sir!"
"Also remember that these people aren't mages like you, but regular soldiers. So don't go charging in when they tell you not too. It may save your life. Meet up with your platoon commander for more details. Dismissed."

Takahashi said you would be departing in three hours along with the 66th Platoon, a platoon of the non-magical branch of the Alliance military. It was larger than your own platoon (5 squads in all) so you would have to try and "behave" as Takahashi put it. Until then you were to be on standby.

[]Take a tour around the base camp.
[]Head back to the barracks.
[]Check in on your squad.
[]Write in.
>[]Check in on your squad.
>[]Check in on your squad.

So QM. Since we are an ice mage... Any bonuses for being on a cold planet? Easier casting? Some form of cold resistance? Maybe I am asking to much but.. You know would be nice to have something we could exploit at least to a degree.
Easier/faster casting of magic. The act of casting magic is injecting mana into your device that then reinterprets that mana as translating it into the language of physics onto the magic fabric of reality. So you would have to cast a spell for cold resistance
>[]Check in on your squad.
So our ice powers are totally useless beyond what they usually do........ Nice QM nice >_>
Well, he did say that we can do it faster and easier than normal. So basically we get pluses to cast speed and power. That's pretty good- this would likely also be an excellent opportunity to use that wide-range 'diamond dust' scanning spell that anon came up with a while back- if no one can do anything similar better.
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You decide to go back to the barracks and check in on your squad. It wouldn't be fair to call the barracks a resting place just like the room you and your squad inhabited back at the 13th. It was more like a large concrete building encased by heat-shielding with several hallways that led into cramped rooms. In a way, the barracks was a mirror of the nature of the base camp as a whole. A hurried and rushed place built from industrialized military-grade materials pieced together without much time. You knocked on the door to your room, and you heard Chikako's voice on the other side.
"It's open." He said.
You entered. "Hey Chikako." Inside the room was a set of five beds and a table in the center, with the clothing rack at the back of the room for storing uniforms. Only Chikako and Mio were in the room.
"Where's Maiya and Kazue?" You ask.
"Kazue said she would hit the gym. Dunno where Maiya is. I assume she's talking with the Lieutenant."
"What do you make of him?"
Chikako shrugs and lays down on his bed. "Seems like a fine enough commander. But if you ask me, I don't like how he wants all of us to be friends."
"You have a problem with interacting with people, huh Chikako?"
"Nothing like that. The other squad seems nice enough. It's just...I can't put it into words."
"I see. What about you Mio?"
Mio put down the paper she was looking at. "He seems alright. Weird that the brass would put a girl in a four man guy squad though."
"Yeah I guess..."
"Oh yeah!" Mio looks at you. "Takahashi dropped this off right after the briefing. Said they were for us." She throws you a jian. It looks just like Tsuyuhime. "Your new 'battle-ready' device."
You were reminded of your talk with Maiya a week or so ago. Before you got sent off to war. About the names for your device.
"Hey Mio..."

[]What's your device's name?
[]What's your device?
[]You never told me your magic type, what is it?
[]Write in.
>[]You never told me your magic type, what is it?
>[]You never told me your magic type, what is it?
>[]What's your device's name?
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"Hey Mio," You say, "You never told me your magic type, what is it?"
She looks up at you and smiles. "I almost forgot you were an ice user Miyako! I'm a water magic user. We're like two peas in a kettle!"
Chikako laughs.
"What?" Says Mio.
"Mio, I think the saying goes two peas in a pod."
She turns red, blushing with embarressment. "I-I was taught it was two peas in a kettle."
"I think you're just mixing it up with the pot calling the kettle black Mio." You too start laughing.
It's then that Maiya walks in. "Wh-what's happening?"
Chikako, trying to calm himself down from laughing, wipes his eyes and turns to Maiya. "Mio said 'two peas in a kettle' instead of 'two peas in a pod'!" He bursts out laughing again.
Maiya looks at her dully. "I don't get it."
Mio is blushing bright red.
"Hey hey Chikako, get a grip."
He stops laughing. "Ok ok. Anyways, where were you Maiya?"
"Meeting with Squad 721. What about you?"
"Miyako just walked in so I gave her her new device. Oh yeah, here you go." He throws Maiya his new katana.
He straps it to his belt. "Thanks. Anyways, listen to this."
A slam comes from the door as Kazue enters. "Hear what?"
Mio jumps back. "Holy crap Kazue you scared the living hell out of me!"
Maiya ignores Kazue's outburst. "So you know our battalion commander right?"
Mio retains her composure. "Lieutenant Colonel Kirishima Ikagura right?"
"Yeah. I heard she was some big shot from Tatsuo-san that she's a Rank III."
You look at Maiya plainly. "Uh...and?"
"Isn't that insane? Our brigade commander is a Rank II and our battalion commander is a Rank III! How lucky are we?"
"I think you're the only one that's excited Maiya."
You laugh. It's been a while since you had a regular conversation between the five of you. Too long. Since the ceremony the atmosphere had been stifiling. But you finally felt at ease.

[]Guys. We need to talk about the contraction ceremony.
[]I'm glad to have you guys back.
[]...We should head to meet up with the platoon soon.
[]Write in
>[]I'm glad to have you guys back.
>[]...We should head to meet up with the platoon soon.

Mostly because I got nothing to say/ask. We DO need to talk about the ceremony, but not quite right now.
>[]I'm glad to have you guys back.

For some reason I feel like i would like to avoid talking about the contraction ceremony.....
>[]...We should head to meet up with the platoon soon.
Rolling to decide
1 is: I'm glad to have you guys back.
2 is: ...We should head to meet up with the platoon soon.
To be brutally honest, I'm not 100% certain WHY we need to talk about the contraction ceremony aside from some basic group self-therapy. But I get the feeling if we DON'T, it'll come back to bite us. So yeah. something to do in time.
Rolled 2 (1d2)

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"...We should head to meet up with the platoon soon."
Mio looks down at her watch. "Oh crap yeah!" She stands up straight, straightens the wrinkles in her uniform, and motions for everyone else to follow her out of the room. You head down the stairs at the southern end of the barracks and into the courtyard. The harsh winds on the outside of the heat shield on the edge of the base camp exposed the enviorment of northern Eranku, the bitting winter winds throwing snow at ice at you from the northern reaches. You follow Mio through the business of the camp, her shoulder-length hair flowing as you have to keep your eyes trained on her in order to not become lost in the crowd of soldiers, mage and non-mage alike. Your device jingles at your hip as you start to feel distinctly out of place against grown up soldiers carrying rifles and pistols, battle-hardened warriors ready to fight the bitting cold.

When you enter the briefing room, Squad 721 is already present, along with five other squads which you assume belong to the 66th Platoon. Their leader introduces himself as Uwarawa Daichi. You and your squad salutes him, along with the other members of your platoon, before he stands right next to Takahashi, behind the table at the front of the room. On it is spread a map of the region of northern Eranku.
"For reference, right now we are in the region called Yando by the locals. As I'm sure your officer has informed you, we will be heading north towards the Bataka Mountains and onwards towards an Imperial-held military encampment. Once we reach the Bataka we will meet the 7th Company and march onwards towards the Imperial settlement. Any questions?"

[]What are the enemy's numbers?
[]When do we depart?
[]How will we be making our approach to the mountains?
[]None sir.
[]Write in
>[]How will we be making our approach to the mountains?
>[]What are the enemy's numbers?
Can we ask multiple questions? if so then this to:
>[]How will we be making our approach to the mountains?

Ow and
>[]Write in
"How cold can the temperature get in the mountain area that we are going to?"

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"Sir, what are the enemy's numbers?" You ask.
"Unknown Private. But expect heavy resistance. The enemy has likely reinforced their position to protect valuable military assets. Anything else?"
"How will be making our approach to the mountains?"
"We have an ATV that we will be using for our transport. It's not the best, but it's as good as we can hope for at the time. Do you still have questions, Private?"
"Yes sir. How cold can the temperature get in the area that we are going to?"
"The Bataka Mountains can reach temperatures of negative seventy and below. The ATV will have temperature-regulating suits for every member so be sure to put those on once we get going. Is that it?"
You nod. "Yes sir."
"Very well. Move out soldiers! The ATV is parked at Lot 473 so hurry it up!"
You all saluted Uwarawa and yelled, "Yes sir!" Before filing out of the briefing tent. You moved through the mass of people again, some making way for the thirty-some people in your combined platoons. When you eventually reached the area of the camp that contained the lots, Takahashi led the way towards the vans. An ATV awaited you at the lot numbered "473". You had seen ATVs on the TV before, either in war videos or in commercials for the Self-Defense Force, but it was your first time seeing one up close. This one was bigger, sized to fit two whole platoons.
"File in!" Yelled Uwarawa and you went inside.

By the front of the ATV was a pile of suits that you guessed were the temp-suits. It looked like riot armor at first, but with a set of dials and measures at the forearms and shoulders. You put on the vest first, zipping up the suit before attaching the helmet. A HUD powered up before a voice could be heard.
"This is Takahashi. I have connected you to my mainframe neural coms system. This way you can talk without talking. Convienient isn't it?"

[]So this thing links up to our minds?
[]What about the other platoon?
[]Write in
>[]So this thing links up to our minds?
>[]Write in
"...Neat. Everyone got one of these?"
>[]So this thing links up to our minds?
Combine these with
>So this thing links up to our minds?
being the first thing we say then shortly after say
>"...Neat. Everyone got one of these?"
>[]What about the other platoon?
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"So this thing links up to our minds?" You think, your lips not moving.
"If what you said is any indication, I would think so." Replies Chikako.
"Wouldn't this cause more trouble than it would benifit us?" Says another voice, whom you recognize as Mitake.
"You won't send messages unless you think to send them." Replies Takahashi. "Let me put it this way: messages won't be sent without you thinking about them."
"Does everyone get one of these?" Kazue asks.
"Only us. Only mages have the mental capacity to transmit brain messages between several conduits." Replies Takahashi.
"I see..." Says Matoba.
"Quiet." Says Mio. "Uwarawa is about to say something."
Uwarawa stands up at the front of the ATV and takes off his suit's helmet, depressurizing the the head with a hiss. "Ok everyone." He begins. "It's about a half hour drive to the base of the Bataka Mountains. My platoon, do a final weapons check. I know we got those new cold-resistant firearms last week but I still don't want anything jamming on us in a firefight. Understood?"
"Yes sir!"
It was then Takahashi's turn to speak. He didn't take off his helmet. "Everyone, I know this is your first deployment but don't freak out. You'll do just fine. Follow procedure and produce results. That's all we need. Understood?"
"Yes sir!" You say, along with everyone else.
Silence overtakes the vehicle again. You look at the 66th platoon. Their faces are stern. They are stern adults, battle-hardened and ready for war. Some of them are doing final gun maintance, checking that their magazines are all full and that their rifles are all set. A soldier from across the way looks at you. He takes off his helmet, revealing a man with short-cut brown hair and glasses.
"What's your name, mage?"

[]Matsushita Miyako, what's it to you?
[]Matsushita Miyako, Private Second Class. And you?
[]The name's Miyako. Don't refer to me as "mage" please.
[]Write in.
>[]Matsushita Miyako, Private Second Class.
>Matsushita Miyako, Private Second Class. And you?
I'm just thinking 'Is he gonna be that guy? Is he gonna be that motherfucker?' I hope he's not that motherfucker.
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"Matsushita Miyako, Private Second Class. And you?" You say, taking off your helmet and laying it on your lap.
The man extends his hands and shakes yours. His grip is strong and tight, his hands rough. "Najika Renji."
"Nice to meet you Najika-san." You incline your head slightly.
"So Matsushita-san, I heard your boot camp is in I-Space."
"Interdimensional space."
"Yeah it is."
"What's it like there?"
"Normal I guess. Calling it a bootcamp though is a little..."
"What do you call it then?"
"It's more of a school than anything else I would guess. What was your bootcamp like?"
"Do you have a military where you're from?"
"Yeah a bit." You think about the Self-Defense Force. Did that really count as a military?
"So you have a general idea about what you do at a bootcamp then right?"
"Yeah. You train and get yelled at right?"
Najika chuckles. "Yeah sorta. It's tough stuff. Exciting. But tough. But your own training seems tough."
"More so than you would know.
There's a pause between the two of you.
Najika leans in slightly. "So, Matsushita-san. Is it true what they say about mages?"
"What do you mean?
"Wellll..." He leans in closer. "That you can fly for instance."
You laugh. "Hahaha...No I haven't seen anyone do that."
You see Najika's face turn a little bit red. "Then...what can you do Matsushita-san?"
"Uh...let's see...."

[]I can make ice out of nothing.
[]I've made it snow before. Does that count?
[]I don't even know where to start...This whole mage thing is new to me.
[]Write in.
We are in the army now anon-kun... THERE WILL BE THAT GUY.
If not here then somewhere else.
>[]I've made it snow before. Does that count?
>I can make ice out of nothing. Also snow. S'kinda my thing, I guess.

Because we have.
Changing my vote to this>>44829806
Also, I have to ask.

When you said ATV, do you really mean like a jeep-esque four wheeler, or do you mean a APC?
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Yeah I meant an APC. My bad about that.

"I can make ice out of nothing. Also snow. S'kinda my thing, I guess." You begrudgingly admit.
Najika's eyes light up. "Really? You can make ice?"
"Y-yeah I guess..."
"That's so cool, Matsushita-san."
"What about your squadmates? What sort of magic can they cast?"
"Maiya over there can do fire. Kazue is wind. Mio is water. and Chikako is lightning."
"It's nothing that big. Really."
"No it really it is! A real mage. I never thought I would meet one."
"So, mages are somewhat of celeberties in the regular army?"
"Yeah. We hear all the time in the news about the magical branch of the army. Spec ops teams of just a squad that can go in and destroy entire detachments with minimal effort, how they can turn the tide of battle with their mere presence on the battlefield."
"You didn't know?"
"No not really. I myself didn't know I was a mage until just a month or so ago." The memory itself seems so distant to you.
"What happened?"
"Imperial agent tried to take me. Thankfully the Alliance got to me in time. You can take it as both a lucky or unlucky occurance, depending on how you look at it. What about you, when you enlist?"
"Manditory conscription, just like the majority of Alliance worlds. I will admit, it's not as bad as the Empire, but it's a pain having to schedule trips home."
"You can return home?" Your eyes perk up.
"I don't know if it's the same for mages, but us regular soldiers have certain times to return home on leave. It's kinda good but my fiance is a hell of a person. She worries too much about me."
"I see..."
"Why, do you want to return home?"

[]I want to.
[]I don't know what my family would think of me to be honest...
[]I don't know if I could.
[]Write in
>I want to...but I don't know if I could.
>[]I don't know what my family would think of me to be honest...
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"I want to go home...I really do...but I don't know what my family would think of me to be honest."
"Why is that?"
"I don't know...I'm just a bit anxious is all."
Before you can say another word, the APC grinds to a halt.
"This is it!" Says the driver up front. "Good luck out there!"
Takahashi pats the driver on his shoulder and puts on his helmet. You connect yours as well as it links to your suit with a click. The HUD lights up again, displaying the neural com links to everyone else in the platoon and you hear Uwarawa yell, "Open the doors everyone! Let's get a move on!" The two soldiers near the rear end of the APC push open it's doors and drop out onto the snow. The temperature displays on your HUD: -67 Degrees fahrenheit. You grip Tsuyuhime tigheter and exit out, only to see the great expanse of the Bataka Mountains to the north, stretching to the east and the west as far as the eye can see in the wipping winds. Which isn't saying much. A ways ahead you can see the rest of the 3rd Company as well as 7th Company, but they may as well have been the same with the same temp-suits being worn by both parties. You step forward, trailing behind the 66th Platoon, unsure of what will become of the coming battle.
Sorry for the short thread tonight, but I have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow so I'll end the thread here. My twitter is https://twitter.com/finaljas90 for people that want to keep up to date (or just want to hear me ramble).

Anyways, any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? Per suggestion by Esdethfag, I will be including a nations/worldbuild doc next session (which will be on Friday around 7-8 PM PST)
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>Per suggestion by Esdethfag
QM-senpai noticed meeee!! <3

Its okay QM we know that you are busy. Good luck where ever you are going!
Damnit, I was trying to get more people to join in. Worst possible timing. Ah well.

I dunno, I feel the quest is good, but needs something. I can't put my finger on what exactly, though. Maybe it's the formatting? I dunno.
I see. I'm trying to put more detail in the world and descriptions. If you ever find out, just let me know and I'll try my best to correct it.
Don't worry I was looking at the Weekend Quest General as well. Thank you for trying to get more people though. Generally threads only have two to three people but I had intended to keep this thread short for the sake of my sanity (and sleeping habits)
Going back to college after my winter break. Will be in CST from then until the summer so I'll be transfering the times I refer to for new sessions in CST instead of PST if that makes sense.
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I believe you promised us action on your tweet about this part of the quest, but considering that you are on a time constrain its completely understandable!

So far so good really. Just waiting for the big military stuff to happen, this part merely was a binding chain between the previous thread and the next. I want to complain a bit about comical situations though.. >>44830094
>"I can make ice out of nothing. Also snow. S'kinda my thing, I guess."

I guess i expected a more funny reaction from the soldier to that sentence but thats about it, This quest is still great!

Roger that QM will remember it next time. Esdesu out!

*Whispers to himself* QM-senpai noticed me........
Yeah I had planned for some action but that fell through considering how not everything went as I planned. I also kinda started the thread a bit late but that was my fault.
>I guess i expected a more funny reaction from the soldier to that sentence but thats about it
I personally blame my weary eyes.
Oh hey I'm in CST. That's lovely. No more translating time zones.
I think that's it. That's what feels 'off' for me. It's like...a lot of the dialogue and general 'character does a thing' bits are...dry, I guess the word is. Needs more flavor, not necessarily more detail, but the method of describing an action could be less direct and more...flowery?

Give a bit more description into the sorta feeling when someone does something, whether it's minor like, say, picking up a cup of coffee after a long day, or major like trying to break through a window. Although I'm guessing you don't want to take too long to post, it'd be worth it for immersion's sake.
Ah I see what you mean. Usally my writing tends to be more flowery but I've been trying to experiment in a more direct style. I'll definately try and adapt that for the next session. I really appriciate the feedback and if anything else feels off be sure to let me know. It's things like this that really help to be honest.
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