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Mages Guild: You Need A New Budget Edition
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Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages' Guild! Now I know everyone was very exited about our plans have the entire guild fly to the moon for a nice vacation from all the kings, queens, nobles and whatever they are who keep bothering our research but I have some bad news. It turns out we are lacking some important spell components needed to ensure the tower survives the trip, and we're completely broke after the new years party. So unless people come up with a good way to make the missing money it seems like the tower is grounded for the moment.

Now the Bueromancers claim that we might be able to free enough funds by making some easy budget cuts here and there have been some suggestions to cut some departments out of the guild including Beemancy, Hobomancy, Chainsawmancy and MUSCLE WIZARDRY. They also think that we can save money by merging some smaller departments into bigger departments, such as making Cryomancy part of the Hydromancy Department, doing away with Electromancy and making it part of Aeromancy again, Chaos Magic joining the Eldritch Department and reincorporating dark magic into the necromancy department for the first time since they split into two departments in the third age. And finally re-merging all sub-departments into their main branch, that means you sub-department of Ectomancy and sub-department of Weaponized Divination.

Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
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>>44818304
>Now the Bueromancers claim that we might be able to free enough funds by making some easy budget cuts here and there have been some suggestions to cut some departments out of the guild including Beemancy
If you want to cut out a necessary 1/5th of my total wizardry course there will be a crawly, slimy and stingy hell to pay.
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Really? You want to try convincing the ectomancers to accept being merged into necromancy? You want to try convincing Necromancers to accept ectomancers?

Yeah, sure, what could possibly go wrong?
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How about we fire some of the morons we have teaching in my department? They're idiots and I could find replacements...somewhere.
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>>44818388
Veilhex, just force them to deal with it. Simple enough, threaten them if you have to.
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>>44818304
You can't conjoin Aeromancy with Electromancy! They're completely different magics!
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>>44818304
It's times like these that I really miss Yshna.
>>44818365
Dude, I would advise against that. Unless, of course, you want your entire department destroyed in a raging storm of cocaine fueled arcane power.
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>>44818304
Here is the coffee, tea, and pastries everyone
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>>44818474
Thank you Mortimer, need this
>Takes a cup of coffee and sips it
Good coffee.
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>>44818448
I'd love to.

I also love not getting killed.

>>44818403
Can't you just get smarter versions of them from later in their lives?

>>44818474
Thank you Mort, I'll take some coffee,

>>44818450
Emilia, do you want to start that argument? Because I'm sure that's an argument that a lot of people would fight over.
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>>44818452
I'm yet to find an issue in the guild I haven't solved with a letterbox full of combustion ants.
>>44818474
Ahhhh Morty my good sir you always know how to calm my immeasurable irritation.
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>>44818524
Veilhex, Electromnacy is all evocation, Aeromancy has almost none! You can't mix both! You'd just be forcing 2 departments into not having enough space!
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>>44818304
I, for one, welcome these department changes.
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>>44818524
If you want the same phenomenons as that one time you stepped into my office? Sure, I can try to fuck with time travel again.
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>>44818304
Can we NOT do another calender?
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>>44818524
Here you go
>Gives him a cup

On an unrelated note, I finished organizing everyones paperwork in order of of most important to least important
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>>44818474
Thanks Mortimer.
>Takes a coffee and a pastry and DIPS THE PASTRY IN THE COFFEE!
>>44818450
I'll try and make sure they're kept separate.
Wait, do you even take any classes in either of those?
>>44818549
Well, don't try it with Antruthius, he may be a coke addict, but he can easily take care of us all at once.
There's a reason he's the Archwizard.
>>44818568
Oh, calendars are good.
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>>44818563
Right, forget I said anything.

Fuck THAT noise.

>>44818575
We have paperwork?

>>44818561
Lazarus, we have paperwork?
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>>44818596
Fine, then you pose in them.
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>>44818575
Thank you Mortimer.
>>44818600
Of course we do.
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>>44818600
Everyone has paperwork Veilhex.
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>>44818596
I don't need to, but I know enough to tell you its a bad idea!
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>>44818600
Yes, I am not willing to undergo that again. Reality tearing itself apart was fun enough the first time around.
>>44818600
Veilhex, my position is very much that of a bleedin' janitor for my entire department, and even I have paperwork.
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H-hello?

Is this where I can sell my excess fish?
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>>44818664
>>44818623
>>44818627
Ok, but since when has the necromancy department actually done any paperwork?
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>>44818671
If ya want to, though I'm not sure if it's a legal marketplace. How much?
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>>44818568
As someone who was 'denied' for the last one I heartily support the idea of starting another.
>>44818575
I request all the paperwork I am able to legally own to be handed over for my inspection immediately!
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>>44818613
I was planning to.
What kind of clothes do you think I should pose in? Bare minimum?
>>44818629
Huh, okay.
>>44818671
Yes. You want to visit the Magical Girls Department. Their Department Head loves fish.
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>>44818690
I handle most paperwork for the guild
>>44818699
Its on your desk.
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>>44818690
>Shrugs
I barely paid attantion to it when I first joined the guild, bunch of assholes. Nothing has really changed now that I'm back
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>>44818694
7 Dinars for a pound of Razorback Flingcod.

A great deal I must say!
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>>44818690
My job isn't just looking intimidating enough to make sure everyone doesn't kill each other permanently. There is paperworks involved.
>>44818717
And we are very thankful for that.
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If we really want to start saving money, everyone an their mother has an infernal lawyer, and they're not cheap. It's time to start letting some people go.
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>>44818717
Oh?

Then thank you.

>Sips coffee

>>44818732
Fair enough.

>>44818751
It's still a big part of your job, though.

>>44818756
My mother does not have infernal lawyer.
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>>44818671
>>44818707
Did someone say fish?
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>>44818717
Which desk would that be?
The one attended by the man-scorpion is for my junkmail as I've specified a few times now
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So you're all a bunch of Wizards, yes?

Is there such a thing as a fishing wizard?

I dare say I'm quite good at what I do.
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>>44818821
If there was, it's probably getting cut now.
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>>44818817
Your actual desk of course. Wouldn't have my title if i didn't know which desk is which
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>>44818756
Emilia, I do not do infernal politics. I have an Archdevil Ooze to do that for me.
>>44818814
Yes, that man there is selling fish.
>Points to Harivold >>44818821
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>>44818735
Hmm, shit, don't have any dinars. Do you accept gold coins?
>>44818756
Just like I was saying, let off some of the teachers who aren't doing much with their position and causing more trouble than they're worth.
>>44818821
Maybe?
>Sips his coffee
Not really sure.
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>>44818856
Thank you for the heads up.
>>44818821
Probably, but I haven't met one yet. Want me to sponsor your entry into the guild for you? It will cost you all the fish you have.
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>>44818304
OBJECTION.
>Coughs
Sorry, I've been wanting to say that for some time. It does appear however that the Guild is able to utilize some very beneficial tax breaks because of its unique status as a profitable non-profit, and it's unfixed location.
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>>44818821
Dependant on the kind of bait you use I would either support or condone your application...
>>44818848
Ofcourse you know I'm merely testing you as always pal.
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>>44818896
Which means that such cuts may in fact be unnecessary.
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>>44818786
I would like to see it as the biggest part of my position.
>>44818821
Check the hydromancers, they might have a sub-department for it.
>>44818896
It's about time one of you lawmagi arrived. What are our options?
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>>44818844
Funding is no issue! Surely a fishing wizard such as myself could easily meet the budgeting demands of a fishing department sorely through profit made from fish!

>>44818814
7 Dinars for a pound of Razorback Flingcod.

25 for a whole fish, just makes sure to mind the spines!

>>44818859
Gold? Nasty rubbish but I'll take 10 per pound, 30 for a whole
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>>44818896
Yeah, Spellbound, don't we have like a city or something we can tax now?
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>>44818911
You're a Bug Wizard, yes?

Surely, through your contributions, we could eliminate the need to purchase bait for freshwater fishing entirely! Even more profit!
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>>44818928
Fair enough.

>>44818938
We do have a city we can tax.

Assuming we're actually the governing body of it.

Come to think of it, why are Lazarus and I even involved? We've got a country we could tax to get over the money issue.

>>44818981
Don't ask bug mages to give up their bugs. They get angry.
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>>44818934
Well, you also need the spell requirements as well to be considered an actual school.
>>44818938
We in fact do!
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>>44819001
Because an entire army is gone, that's why.
>>44819004
And we're the owners of it...so legislation time?
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>>44818928
Well, master Lazarus, we could call in several hundred debts the Guild has accrued over the ages, specifically those owned by Valmia and the Teribian Sea of Sand. I propose mining operations in Southern Terib to collect the rich gold deposits within.

>>44818938
I believe Spellbound is an independent city state. I'll conduct negotiations, however, to introduce taxation and representation to the city.
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>>44818699
>>44818707
.... you know On second though maybe an all male calendar wouldn't be so bad
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>>44818934
Here are a hundred dinars, give me my four whole fishes.
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>>44818934
Deal, I'll take a whole.
>Gives him a bulging bag of gold
I need it for a dinner I have planned. Thank you.
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>>44819039
No. we straight up own it.
>>44819067
Quin, can magical girls start getting involved in...extracurricular activity for extra credit?
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>>44819026
Well, you wouldn't be. Not a Department Head, see?
>>44819051
Jill, you know you're allowed to take a peek at the real deal anytime.
>Glug winks
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>>44819039
Actually, the Mages Guild does in fact own it. In conjunction with Vex.
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>>44818981
*Ahem* While I hear your suggestion, I must....respectfully... decline it...
Perhaps teaching giant pondskimmers to assist in lakefishing is a venture I would consider however.
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>>44819088
Bleh! Pass.
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>>44819087
Truly? That is a deeply disconcerting thought and I'm sure highly illegal to some degree.

Taxing Spellbound it is! What about representatives from the city? Taxation without representation is immoral.
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>>44819067
>>44819080
Mind the spines!
>tosses the bundles of fish and collects the dinars

>>44819004
Spell requirements? Rubbish! Surely the fact that my fishing prowess is so successful as to be magical in nature should suffice anyone.
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>>44819026
You have a point.

We may also need a bit more money to clean up the department because of the aftermath of that revelation.

>>44819051
What calendar?

>>44819111
Of course Vex would get involved.
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>>44819001
On that note I've been meaning to ask you about something. How good is Obsidia's evil glare?
>>44819039
Hold off on Valmia unless it's an emergency, but feel free to collect all we own from the Teribian Sea of Sand.
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>>44819051
Excellent, I am already having a silk swimsuit prepared!
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>>44819133
>Glug chuckles
Just messing with ya. I know how you are.
Tentacles only.
>>44819135
https://i.gyazo.com/44611e7b81d45a7388021dabda5b9a18.png
Here you go.
>>44819139
No, it isn't.
>>44819143
Well, it is near her town.
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>>44819135
Easy, Taxation with their representation.
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>>44819143
>>44819143
It's sale will help fund the guild. thank you for volunteering on behalf of the necromancy department Veilhex.

>>44819164
Great job Arnold, just be sure to run it by me first.

>>44819165
>Socks you in the arm
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>>44819087
That depends, what kind of extracurricular activity did you have in mind?
>>44819139
Thanks for the tip.
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>>44819150
Well, it's an uphill battle on account of, you know, only having half of what people normally work with on that front.

>>44819165
Fair enough.

>>44819204
Wait, what?

What am I involved in now?
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>>44819204
Yer a bizarre one Jill. Just sayin'
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>>44819230
Yes.
>>44819204
I'd be willing to female model if that's what it takes to keep Electro and Aeromancy seperate.
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>enters the guild hall

I have retur......
Budget cuts? Again? If memory serves, I was here the last time we had budget cuts......well, at least the Science Department is somewhat free. Speaking of which, when did that rather large hole appear in my classroom....you know what, I don't really think I want to know.

What of import has happened while I have been on my sabbatical? Apart from this exciting New Years Moon Trip.
>>
>>44819204
>Rubs his arm and grins in a cheeky manner
So, who are you looking forward to seeing in the calendar?
>>44819283
Well, Necromancy Department went to war and now owns a country.
>>
>>44819204
What are your thoughts on the amount of male arse-cleavege that is 'safe'.
This one is important as I'd have a few workers to contact immediately...
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>>44819150
Of course. Raising the ire of Cromina would be..unwise.

Of course we could always replicate the Great Baker Sale of 557:3A....

>>44819165
I see. An interesting precedent indeed. Though future implications could be...worrisome.

>>44819176
Pardon?
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>>44819338
we tax them more if they want representation, I mean, it costs money to keep up with the guild since we move so much.
>>44819320
I have opened Lok's Box, but there was no hope in it.
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>>44819269
Eh? That wasn't a yes or no question. Unless you give me specifics I'm going to say the answer is a big, fat, no.
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>>44819338
No, there is nothing worrisome. Stop being pessimistic.
>>44819384
Really? What was inside? Hundreds of masked pranksters that were released upon the world?
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>>44819412
well, we could replace the dwarf janitors. fire some assistants. Have a mount wash sail, ect.
>>44819413
No, one horny Fishman.
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>>44819242
The guild's all male sexy calendar. Pay attention now.

>>44819262
Shhh. shh shh.
>Puts a finger to your lips
Don't worry, we have a spot for you too mr.January.

>>44819320
Ehhh I dunno.

>>44819330
Not safe for work.
>>44819269
All male this time around.
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>>44819370
Was that not the most successful aspect of the Great Sale?

>>44819384
That's...that's how revolutions begin.

>>44819413
Glug, a Guild is in charge of a city state. Ponder the legal precedent. If not us the less..."wise" Fighters. Or the mercurial Thieves. Or the Night Hunters, Artificer's, the Guild of Cloth.

It's an interesting if not terrifying prospect.
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>>44819242
From what I've seen that usually helps rather than being a hindrance. See if you can't help her out on that front, it's more or less a survival skill at our department.
>>44819338
Only if we can ensure that the vampires don't add blood to their pastries... again.
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>>44819320
>>44819283
It's a very beautiful country when it's not a blasted hellscape because of the guys who were in charge before us.

>>44819498
Right.

>>44819481
And now I'm on it or something?
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>>44819481
Thank Io my brother has abandoned this tower. That was his favorite time of year...
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>>44819460
Did somebody say fish?

Surely a qualified fishing wizard, and by extension fish wizard, such as myself should handle all fish related matters.
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>>44819481
Are you sick or something? I remember hearing about that. Told the representative of a country to strip for you.
>>44819460
>Just stares at her
How about we just do a bake sale.
>>
>>44819460
Hmm... probably going to go with no in general, with possible individual exceptions.
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>>44819320

What? A whole country?.....

>Hearsch pulls out a battered pocket watch and flips it open. He gazes into the insides for a few secodns before sighing and returning it to his coat

>mumbles under his breath
we have time before that.....
AHEM

Now, budget problems. Doesn't Dominaria owe us for ending that extremely childish war those idiotic brothers started? I swear, sinling rivalry...Anyway, we could call in a few favors there. I'm sure they'd be happy to help us after all these years.

>>44819481
My dear, most of us are a little *ahem* past our prime to be doing THOSE types of calenders. Again.

>>44819536
Wasn't the last bake sale the active cause of the last outbreak of Vampirism?
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>>44819506
You are now, yes.

>>44819507
He has? well you can take his place I guess. And no, you don't get a say in it.

>>44819536
Sick? No. I just wait to avoid the witchcraft department breaking up.
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>>44819536
Some people are still recovering from the last one...not again...we can't do it again. Not this age.
>>44819540
>sighs
You don't want science hindered by budget do you?
>>44819485
Oh no, people taking over the guild, they'll rule the world, how could they be stopped?
>>44819481
That gives me an idea...
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>>44819481
I'll accept but I won't be nearly as happy.
>>44819536
I am content to help with a bakesale, but the swimwear will remain.
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>>44819460
. . .What's this Lok's Box that you speak of?
>>44819481
Well, I'll try posing with some tentacle oozes. What do you think?
>>44819485
Glaive, it sounds like you don't trust us.
>>44819506
So I've heard.
>>44819508
I am a sea-elf, they refer to me as fish-face and such when they feel like it.
>>44819584
Dominaria got wiped off the map several hundred years ago.
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>>44819584
Perhaps...
Magic Multiverse presence in Aen now canon. REV UP THOSE GUILD PACTS b0ss
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>>44819584
Hearsch, Don't worry about it. We got illusionshop experts to take care of that. and besides, the poor saps who buy this stuff are more attracted to the power you wield.

>>44819608
Oh?

>>44819623
No, you'll steal July's thunder.
>>
I greet you, the living ones. My sweet grave, along with the other ones, has just been destroyed. I don't care who is guilty in this pity accident, but I demand apologies and 2000 gold coins for restoration. In case you won't fulfill my request, await another zombie invasion in no time

*Walkes away shutting the door*
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...I hate all of you.
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>>44819584
Then we make sure it doesn't happen again. Simple.
>>44819597
>Sighs
Guess I'll have to deage myself for it then
>>44819613
Fine, I can't really stop you.
>>44819660
Fucking necromancers.
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>>44819608

Emilia, Science hasn't been hindered by budget since...since....hell, since I can remember! It's always been a rule that the Head of the Science Department - currently myself - add in funds so that the Science Department runs relatively autonomously.

>>44819623
Really? Let me see....
>Hearsch pulls out his pocket watch and stares into it again
i may have not carried the 1....
>>
>>44819660
Do you think he'd settle for fish instead?
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>>44819660
Racist piece of shit.... Who walks around in Z-face anymore?

>>44819673
That's the spirit!
>>
>>44819597
Vex isn't involved, right? I'm not going to get shoved in a dress?

>>44819623
You can come see it some time if you want.

>>44819660
He knows that's not actually a threat, right?

>>44819666
What for?

>>44819673
Don't blame us, we've got a new source of corpses in the form of Tenebrus. Don't need to grab them from graveyards anymore.
>>
>>44819666
And I have no idea who you are. Don't really know why you hate me though. I'm just an old chronomancer
>>
>>44819608
I'll have you know my budget is doing fine. What I don't want is another great janitorial uprising. I might not know much about guild history, but I've read enough about the last one to know it was a mess in more ways than one.
>>44819674
SCIENCE!
>>
>>44819642
>>44819623
So hear me out, a lot of deparments have similar focuses and requirements. So instead of cutting or merging departments, how about we remove alike redundancies. Like, the ritual department and summoning department can put together, Electromancy and Pyromancy can be merged because they're evocation....
>>44819666
Put Ectomancy back into Necromancy.
>>
>>44819666
An Ectomancer I presume?

So in theory, could you catch Ghost Fish?
>>
>>44819666
I know, and it pleases me to hear you say that.
>>
>>44819642
Who'd be July?
I wanna steal their thunder.
>>44819660
. . .Go ahead, not like we have a Necromancy Department or anything.
>>44819700
Sure.
>>44819715
Emilia, Ectomancers don't even use necrotic or negative energy. At least most don't.
Also, what did you mean earlier?
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>>44819597
Dramorn...he felt he was viewed as War, and not Dramorn. He became a political pawn in that conflict, and that image remained when he returned....so he left, to return to investigative matters.

Also What?!

>>44819608
That's not my concern. My concern is equality and proper legal representation from our constituents.

>>44819623
There was an alternate timeline in which the Guild ruled the world, was there not? Conspierre judged my brother on the fall of Dramorn Arkenbane, why should I not do the same for a night unstoppable Guild?

Glug, I'm simply concerned about the precedent for those long after our time. I trust the guild as much as it trusts me.
>>
>>44819700
Hmph, I just don't want to deal with the idiot. He wasn't even undead, just pasty.
>>
>>44819700
Please Vielhex, this is for the pleasure of all women and some men, ot Vex. you worry to much.

>>44819715
Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

>>44819756
I have not decided yet by they will be getting violated by consentacales.

>>44819771
I don't care about that stuff glaive. also give me your best sissy face.
>>
>>44819700
Let's see, not having a separate department was bad enough, now we don't even have a sub-department! So yeah, I have to deal with the necromancy department in addition to my own.
>>44819707
Yeah, you have your own type of magic, so you have your own department. You know, like it's supposed to work.
>>44819715
Thanks, I heard already. I'm [i]totally[/i] fine with that.
>>44819729
Oh sure, just let me rustle up my ghost fishing rod. I could, but why would I?
>>44819755
You're a smug ass. Just because the sub-department isn't around doesn't mean you're right. I'm not a necromancer.
>>
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Hello folks, just dropping off a fresh batch of Helltongue Screamwine and Dire Hornet mead to my favorite guild of mystical calamities.
>>44819536
Oh, Jeremiah, you're here.
Could you, at your earliest next convenience, swing by my garden about two weeks ago? There's a poor fellow stuck in a non-mobius-chronoloop saying "hi" to one of my scareskelecrows, and he's got the robes of a student from this guild. In anticipatory thanks, I've left a decanter of "Old Drider" in the ruins of Hellheim, future 527.
>>
You bath robed freaks treat us like trash and never even attempt to clean after yourselves! Last week two abominations went on a rampage and we had to clean apprentices off the goddamn ceiling. Two days ago the alchemists invented an ooze that stuck onto everything and couldn't removed and yesterday the pyromancers torched their research labs and drew diagrams in their bed sheets!

No more, i say! Either you start paying us better, treating us with respect and get us magical aides we will go on a strike!
>>
>>44819693
I'm wondering how he managed to close the doors without arms....

>>44819673
Alright, I'll get the students to monitor all ingredients in the next bake sale - if we have one - using some of the gear in Lab 09.

>>44819666
Yes, I definitely did something wrong in my time dilation calculus if this is the reality where Levi hates everyone.

>>44819771
Guild ruled the world....Let me think.....rings a bell.....

>>44819642
Well, the Guild was set on hard times last time we did a calender....but that was a very long time ago, even with the illusionshop experts can we really pull it off again? I supoose we could, since all those who remember the last one have been dead and buried for at least a thousand years....obviously except >>44819660

>>44819829
I say! You must wear a nametag here, sir.
>>
>>44819771
Make your concern making cut, or you're going to be put on the chopping block.
>>44819756
No, they don't but they use many of the things that the Necromancers use, so they can share. And focus on the budget!
>>44819819
Or shove the pinball witches into the tower.
>>44819829
Sir, you forgot your name tag.
>>
>>44819829
Also i am Thompson, my name was omitted because of you bath robed freaks using your magic to remove my name from existence for about five minutes!
>>
>>44819778
Yeah. But you sounded like you were blaming us.

>>44819821
Like we wanted you guys to get stuffed in with use anyway.

>>44819819
I'm not sure if that implies I'm getting stuffed in a dress or not.
>>
>>44819860

But Science prevailed and you got your name back!
>>
>>44819821
If you think I'm smug now, imagine how smug I'll be once the merger is official.
>>44819829
>>44819860
I'm willing to personally fund a 3.1% rise for any of you who has to work in my department
>>
>>44819822
Selevyn, I don't fuck with time travel. Stuff literally makes reality tear around me, just sent back a younger version of myself back to his time a week or two ago. I'll look into it though. Just no time travel.
>>44819855
Thank you, makes my life easier.
>>44819870
No, if there's a zombie invasion, then that guy was a necromancer, just not one of yours. If there isn't, he's just a remarkably shitty necromancer.
>>
>>44819771
Fine, be suspicious.
>>44819819
Hm, can I be July?
>>44819857
I don't really need to. My Department receives it's funds from Lurco's group.
>>
>>44819829
Or what? you'll union again?

>>44819855
what? we sold ones last year. I mean I know I bought all of them so that no one could see me in them but we still made them.

>>44819857
>Hissing intensifys

>>44819870
That's why it's a mystery.

>>44819914
No.
>>
>>44819855
I hate everyone in any timeline where ectomancy and necromancy are treated as one single school.
>>44819870
I swear, it's like this is a conspiracy against me. Neither party wanted this, and it's not like we have so much funding anyway.
>>44819901
All hail Lazarus, throne candy of Tenebrus and smuggest bastard alive or dead.
>>
>>44819914
You know what?
>>44819920
I don't even care anymore. I personally buy all my things and even give to the guild. Let you guys figure it out.
>>
>>44819876
Ah, Mr. Science Wizard!

I recall an event several months ago.

A Ms. Sakamoto of your field of research, well, you see...

The thing is...

She blinded me with science.

It was quite bothersome for a time. Fortunately the effects weren't permanent. All the same you should keep better track of your students.
>>
>>44819819
W-what?! N-no.

>>44819855
It was quite some time ago.

We cleansed it.

>>44819857
I believe we have created ample options for monetary income.

So leave the individuals who can actually handle money to do so.
>>
>>44819910
Not saying you have to travel, man. Just... Get him unstuck. I would, but Chronomancy isn't exactly a strong suit of mine, even if I did spend about two compressed millennia studying it.
>>
>>44819901
At least one of you has a head on their shoulders....even though it seems to be stitched on.
>>44819920
Or i summon a T-Rex, who have been proven to be partially immune to most conventional magics, into your office!
>>
>>44819920
I'm going to hate the direction this goes in no matter what, aren't I?

>>44819910
Fair enough.

>>44819939
It's not a conspiracy against you in specific.

Just us in general.
>>
>>44819920
Aw...
>>44819940
What?
>>
>>44819955
yes.

>>44819971
..................You have my support...... Can you summon one anyway? I always want to ride a T-rex....

>>44819981
Most likly, yes.

>>44819986
Suck it up nerd.
>>
>>44819821
Yes, but my department is full of morons and I'm their janitor.
>>44819959
Alright, alright. I'll take care of it. I want two bottles of Drider, I have to take a day off for it.
>>
>>44819920

Male calenders, my dear, Male calenders. At least....the one I was in was a thousand years ago....

>>44819943
I'm surprised she didn't do something to blow herself up! That's the usual fate of most of ym students; they pour one thing into an alembic they shouldn't, or they waft one too many vapors. Or when Charlie theorized and then proceeded to the practical of placing a quantum harmonizer in a photonic resonation chamber. THAT was bad.
And don't get me started on Herbert West.....
>>
>>44819939
All true, if they were meant to be insults then you would have to try harder.
>>44819971
Apologize for the stitched on comment and I'll make it a 3.2% raise. I haven't had a head that had to be stitched on for ages.
>>
>>44820003
Just don't make a mess with it.
>>
>>44820009
Two it is. I'll drop them off tomorrow, after I swing Lupa's place to drop off some Aboleth's Brandy.
>>
>>44819986
>walks off grumbling she's being ignored like some Nycomancer
>>
>>44820047
Alright. How have you been, haven't seen you in quite some time. I dropped out of the guild a while ago, only recently took up the position of supervisor/janitor
>>
>>44820044
Sorry for the stitched head comment.
>>
>>44820039
I see. uhh my bad.

>>44820046
I make no promises.
>>
>>44820003
You're a nerd!
>>44820054
Wait! Emilia! Come on. Don't be like this!
>Chases after her
>>
>>44820003
Shit.
>>
>>44820047
Selevyn, have you had time to visit Tenebrus yet? Our floral situation is TERRIBLE there right now.
>>44820082
3.2% it is then.
>>44820101
What? What's the problem?
>>
>>44819914
That answers that question...

>>44820003
NO. I am a scholar and enactor of law.
Not a prostitute!
>>
>>44819981
Yeah, sure, and yet I'm the one who's been trying to get the opposite done for a few months now.
>>44820009
...Necromancers. Their own department head hates most of them.
>>44820044
Including the one about your parentage? That's good to know.
>>
>>44820098
>Sticks her tongue out

>>44820101
huehuehuehue

>>44820133
Relax, I won't whore you out.
>>
>>44820131
Ah yes. Tenebrus. How is the ecology of that place? I know that side of the world is full of dragonkin and psuedodragons, I am curious if the rumours of vampiric dragon lords are correct.
>>
There is like 20 zombies crushing the toilets and shouting «Revenge!». Can you please do something? They made such a mess there
>>
>>44820172
You are literally asking for me to expose myself. Dramorn may find such foolishness amusing but I do not.

I am a man of the cloth, Jill. I must remain pure.
>>
>>44820079
Eh, can't complain. Been trying to keep dread Godzilla from waking again, even though his last time awake ended with minimal casualties.
Other than that, finally got the Paladins of Mothra to stop trying to smite me on sight, which is a huge plus. Had to bag'o'wights a sorcerer, though. He tried to burn my sacred tree. His party didn't seem too upset, claimed he was always doing stupid stuff just 'cuz.
You?
>>
>>44820179
NO! THEY ARE FLOODING THE BATHROOMS! SUMMON THE RAPTORS!!! CONJURE THE T-REXES!!! ENCHANT THE DILOSAURS!!
>>
>>44820212
Goddamn wizards screwing around with my nametag again! Who keeps doing that!?
>>
>>44820131
It means this is going to be terrifyingly embarrassing.

>>44820172
>Glare

>>44820167
>Shrug
>>
>>44820204
Too bad~
>>
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>Lurco walks into the meeting room
>>44820172
Hello Jill.
>>44820204
Glaive.
>>44820240
Veilhex, how is the meeting going? Is the main topic settled?
>>
Well, things are getting a little too heated up for me.

I've made my money and now I'm heading back home. I'll be hired yet! You'll all see the benefits of a resident fishing wizard!
>>
>>44820236
>Tries to grab his name tag again.
...
I'm not apologizing.
>>44820240
Why aren't you wearing a dress yet?
>>
>>44820131
Not going back there, Laz. Bastards swiped those plants from the cursed Isle of Honshu, even after I warned them that the radiation had some serious effects on the growth rate, and nutritional needs of Kudzu.
So now they can deal with the Dire Kudzu on their own.
>>
>>44820167
Well, wouldn't you want to know. Maybe one day you'll be able to find out.
>>44820175
Well, all the forests were removed on account of superstitious and paranoid vampires. The main food source is a plant known as sandroot, tasting it is not recommended.
>>44820179
>sighs
I'll send someone to take care of it.
>>
>>44820263
hello.

>>44820265
Syth!
>Hug
>>
>>44820263
It's going.

>>44820265
Because you aren't Vex and you can't make me!
>>
>>44820211
Found an apprentice, a young version of myself came in from the past and reality trying to make sense of us nearly ripped itself apart. Been dealing with some stuff from my past that got drudged up.
>>
>>44820263
Lurco?

>>44820260
>Folds his arms
N-no.

>>44820297
Truly?

And the fauna?
>>
>>44820240
I see...
>>44820273
>facepalms
Great...
>>
>>44820346
Glaive trust me, I know exactly how you feel. But you're not getting out of this.
>>
>>44820273

Oh yeah, you were quite vocal about that. I concurred, but it didn't matter to them. I wouldn't mind getting a deceased Dire Kudzu to see how radiation affects a creatures metabolic....but I digress.

>>44820264
I wish you well, just do not take the contract to go fish near the Isle of Dread. Trust me.

>>44820338
Time Travel is quite a problem to the unlearned.

>>44820204
When have you ever been a man of the cloth? Oh, I remember the types of things you used to get into....
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>44820265
RAPTORS!!! Just make sure you don't bleed all over the place.
>>44820179
Alert the others, the bathrooms are about to be filled with gore and sewage.
>>
>>44820316
ACK! I'M BEING OPPRESSED!
>>44820319
Try it bitch! I'll razzlemafazzle you!
>>44820349
>>44820377
HELP, HELP! Come see the violence inherent in the system!
>>
>>44820265
Hey Syth.
>>44820316
Aw, I don't get a hug? I come back from a battle and nothing?
Is it the armor? I bet it's the armor.
>>44820319
Ah, what's the topic?
>>44820346
Yes. Do not mind the attire, it is for my role in another world.
A role the other Lurco uncharismatically dumped on me.
>>
>>44820338
Good to hear.
>>44820349
Like I said. I warned them. Hells, the only reason I cultivated that hellish plant in the first place was to deal with anyone who was actually stupid enough to actually GO to Honshu. Better a swift death at the hands of a bloodthirsty murdervine than a slow death from radiation poisoning and cancer.
>>
>>44820349
W-what?

>>44820385
What even is that?

>>44820390
Budget cuts.
>>
>>44820385
>Gives Syth a noogie
Mwahahahahahaha

>>44820390
well it does make you look like a huge dork, sorry.
>>
>>44820346
Very elusive.
>>44820385
I've been declared the very definition of lawful evil. You are on your own.
>>44820422
Noted...
>>44820446
The lack of relevant reaction? Or the facepalm?
>>
>>44820390
Yeaaaah. Gimme your lunch money!
>>44820446
Show you the old ring-a-ding. Give em the one-two! I'll boondoggle you!
>>44820451
You'll pay for this! I'll see to it that you're first against the wall when the robots take over!
>>44820422
Hey. Do you have any drugs?
>>44820525
Your mom's the definition of chaotic good in bed. OOOOOH!
>>
>>44820549

That was a low blow, Syth!
>>
>>44820549
In a bad way or up against the wall in a fun way?
>>
>>44820581
AHAHAHAH! THAT'S WHAT HIS MOM DID!
Do you think that would work better if I was a dude? Will research.
>>
>>44820549
Your insults fall flat considering how long my mother has been dead, is there no one who can come up with a viable insult these days?
>>
>>44820525
Both.

>>44820549
Is that even language?
>>
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>>44820446
For the guild? Do you all not have enough money?
>>44820451
Hm, well then.
>The armor magically replaces itself with the outfit in the pic
>>44820549
Sorry, I only pay after services are carried out.
>>
>>44820645
A slutty dork.
>>
>>44820582
I don't know if the robots are going to be fun loving guys with anal probes or hateful death bots.

With anal probes.
>>44820626
Kay. Your grumpiness is belied by your close relationship with your family, which can always be turned into a lever against you. Though you have your colleagues fear, it's much harder to get their respect and despite your best efforts you'll never be able to shake the stigma of necromancy.
Can I go back to yelling now?
>>44820639
Maybe, but you'll be left speechless after I'm done.
>>44820645
Booo! Put the mask back on!
>>
>>44820676
LAME! then why even make them?
>>
>>44820676

What? Robots? What are you doing messing around with robots for?
>>
>>44820371
Yes, I've found that time travel is never worth the issues that come along with it
>>
>>44820549
Sorry, you'd have to swing by my grove for anything like that. I'd rather people try what I grow where I can see them, and can administer aid if they have "bad trips."
>>
>>44820686
>>44820691
I will answer both questions with three words!
Anal probes!
No wait, that's two words.
...
Big anal probes.
>>
>>44820645
I dunno. Guess the guild burns through a LOT of money.

>>44820676
I... don't even know how to respond to that.
>>
>>44820713
.......Syth, I think you should lay down.
>>
>>44820639
Don't worry about it, it's better that way.
>>44820676
Not completely correct, but closer. Feel free to return to your yelling.
>>
>>44820709
Oh, I'll swing by your grove all right.
Was that innuendo? Can't tell. The whole expressionless face makes it hard.
Hehehhehheh.
>>44820728
See? It's working already. Now start trapping!
>>44820742
I think you should get laid. But neither one is likely to happen, now is it? Oh wait, mine is. Slut.
>>44820751
Thanks. LAZARUS IS A BANDAGE HEAD!
>>
>>44820701

Not without the proper equipment....

>Hearsch's hands drift to his waistcoat where his pocket watch is.

>>44820728
But HOW is the Guild burning lots of money? Unless you all burnt it for the New Years party....

>>44820713
I'd warn you against modifications to robots, but it seems you're adamant about trying to build them....
Just don;t say I didn't warn you; Robotics is a dangerous game. Take it from me, I've....dabbled with robotic at one stage or another.
>>
>>44820779
QQ Syth pleas no bully.
>>
>>44820751
>Sigh

And now I'm gonna worry even more.

>>44820779
What? I... what?

>>44820787
I don't know.

I try to stay out of the affairs of other departments.
>>
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>>44820657
Fine.
>Takes out a device with a lot of buttons and his outfit changes
>>44820676
Oh hush now.
How have you been? Meet anyone cute lately?
>>44820728
Huh, that sucks.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44820787
Hahahahah. You fucked robots. That's super gay. Wait, were they lady robots?
Still pretty gay.
>>44820807
>Pokes Jill in the butt.
>>44820808
YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND ME!
>>44820829
Do you have a mom? Because if so, your mom. If not, your maternal figure.
What I'm going for is I fucked your mom.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>44820829
Slutty dork!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>44820850
Huh, well, I don't have anyone like that.
>Pokes your cheek
>>44820871
THAT'S IT!
>Attempts to tackle you
>>
>>44820829
>Ignore roll.

>>44820850
>See >>44820871
Ah!
>Slap
>>
>>44820779
No, it's not innuendo. I literally live in a grove, though it was but one tree when i planted it all those centuries ago.
Innuendo is not something I'm good at, and besides, even if it were, I one, lack the equipment though a few young druid maidens have commented on the plethora of vines festooning my skeleton, and two, there was only one woman I ever "shared a bed" with, and she died of cancer five millennia ago.
I miss her so...
>>
>>44820829
I know.

>>44820850
I must agree. You're very strange.
>>
>>44820885
>>44820883
>>44820850
NO FIGHTING IN THE HALLWAYS!!! IT GETS BLOOD AND CRATERS EVERYWHERE!!!
>>
>>44820883
>Is suddenly tackled
Ow! What the hell?
>>
>>44820713

Did I hear someone say Anal Probes?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>44820850

No, that was Howard who built the lady robots. Although, he ended up just making an automated hand....
I made a giant death robot and promptly lost it. I can't even remember what time it was ir what plane it was

>>44820871
>>44820883
>>44820885
Come now fellow mages! Fighting in the sacred guild hall!
>>
>>44820923

*Stop fighting.
>>
>>44820808
Turns we have a troublesome plant in Tenebrus, I'm confident Marus can deal with it when he arrives.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44820906
YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF!
>Attempts to tickle you
>>44820903
>>44820923
You people have a poor idea of fighting!
>>
>>44820952
There's not a lick of difference between conversing friendly on a park bench and fighting with you bath robed dicks.
>>
>>44820883
>>44820885
>Watches the two of them fight.
>Pulls a pair of dildos out from under her robe and tosses them into the pile.
>>44820900
Wow. Okay, I'm sorta sorry now. Yeah, I'll swing by your grove. We can get baked together and talk about trauma like your dead lover and getting eaten.
>>44820912
Aw yeeeeeee. Zetsus, what do you have for me today?
>>44820923
You failure. We could have used a giant death robot. Have you ever held someone up at robot point? Like, even if they're not scared they'll pay just for a ride in a giant robot.
Also that's awesome. Do it again.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>44820952
Harump!
>>
>>44820993
PRAISE CRITICUS!
>>
>>44820952
>>44820988
Well, I guess you kids can go about your roughhouse then.

>>44820988
It'd take a loooooooong while to recreate the death robot, and even then it'd take quite a few planejumps and such to get the necessary parts...
It'd be easier to find the giant robot again. I wonder where he is.....
>>
>>44820987
Hey, I only arrived here a couple of weeks ago!
>>44820988
. . .
>Tosses them back
>>44820993
. . .You're not ticklish, are you?
That's unfair. You're cheating.
>>44821049
Sir, I am over four million years old.
>>
>>44820988
Wife, actually. But it's fine. Life, or in my case unlife, goes on.
Just a heads up on the "getting baked" bit. Got a few druids swinging by for a smoke-out. They can be a bit pushy with the herb, but my shit is Kaiju-strong, so don't let them push you too far too fast. Last time that happened, the poor bard tried to eat his own face.
>>
>>44820951
Really? What is it, and what's it doing?
>>
>>44820988

Well I just got some Slime men from the 64th Dimension in, very fresh.

It only took me the souls of 100 of my slav- I mean interns.

Yes, interns.
>>
>>44821074
no you're just really bad at this.

>>44821094
I think you mean apprentices. And only 100? I think you have a nack for this.
>>
>>44821094
KEEP THEM IN A BAG!!! THE SLIME GETS EVERYWHERE!!!!
>>
>>44821092
Vampiric Dire Kudzu that they stole from a cursed island.
>>
>>44821074

Four million years young, eh?

>>44821094
Progress requires sacrifice; at least, most times.
>>
>>44821106
Hmph.
Well, what have you been up to?
>Despite trying to start idle conversations, he is still on top of you
>>44821148
Dude, this world is only around 60,000 years old.
>>
>>44821081
Keep the druids out of the necromancy department or I cannot be held responsible for what happens.
>>44821092
I don't know, ask Selevyn.
>>44821094
Ever considered working in the necromancy department?
>>
>>44821049
He's probably off in the Zeta-336 Dimension getting tons of lady bot ass. You did a good job. He's happier now.
>>44821081
You're not my mom! I mean, my mom would be like "Syth, what the hell are you doing? Are you seriously doing drugs with a bunch of druids?" And then she'd have a whole discussion about how I'm not living up to my potential and she knows I'm going through a rough time but I need to refocus myself if I ever want to do anything with important with my life.
>>44821094
Hot. I'll take a dozen. What do you even do with them? Are they like, edible slime, or the nice clothing eating stuff?
>>
>>44821172

Oh don't worry Lurco, you're not the only being with planejumping and/or time travel abilities.

>Hearsch pats his pocketwatch and winks
>>
>>44821176
Okay...

>>44821146
What.

No, nevermind, I don't even want to know.
>>
>>44821172
get off of me you idiot.

>>44821208
>>44820988
>Gets hit in the face by a dildo
Dammit Syth.
>>
>>44821176
No worries, laz. They'll be at my place, not at this guild.
'Sides, I'm just an honorary member/supplier of potables.
And they need no lesson on what happens when druidic and necromantic magics intersect. I exist.
>>
>>44821242
Keep the change.
>Wink
>>
>>44821224
. . .Look man, I'm a different Lurco.
>He hands you a paper
>"Hello! I am Lurco, but not the one you know! The other Lurco has taken me from my home and is using me as a replacement while he is busy doing something important far far away. You may call me Lurco, Baldrekr, which is my real first name, or Cactus which is my real last name. Something to note is that I probably do not know anything about you. Also, I come from the past of an alternative timeline, and so I have not been able to experience several years which the other Lurco has. And in while experiencing these years he had changed, as is expected of people. So, me and the other Lurco are different in personality and morals. If you have any more questions feel free to ask."
Also, I come from another Universe.
>>44821242
No, this is punishment for calling me a dork.
>>
There are now 100 angry zombies more than there was a moment ago! Who keeps killing people!? Do you have any idea how much trouble the zombies area!??! They breed like rabbits (read:kill apprentices and other janitors), make a mess of everything and are a hell to clean off the floors!

SUMMON THE TRICERATOPS'
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>44821290
>Knee to the balls

>>44821286
Dammit Syth!
>>
>The insect girl enters the reunion room dressing her white kimono. On her left side, holded by her insectoid arms, can be seen a cacoon made of a white snowy fabric the thing about such cacoon was that it had the same size as if a human was wrapped inside of it.

"Ara, Am i to late for the meeting?"
>>
>>44821290
Do you come from the Dork Universe? Because that would explain everything.
>>44821308
We always summon the triceratops! I want to summon the T-Rex this time!
>>
>>44821106

They call me the questionably deranged, not the assuredly sloppy. I have some ability thank you.

>>44821120
I think you mean the Tar creatures of salem-dal on the eight fold path of the great slime. Very fun to play with, but they do leave quite the mess.

>>44821148
Indeed fellow mage, indeed.

>>44821176
I have, I've found the practice somewhat dull. Although the party the late 100th emperor of the Dregonic empire and I had after I resurrected him gave me some very pleasant memories. So many hookers.

>>44821208
Wonderful thing about slime men, they're like modifiable tentacles from the plane of elemental suffering, you can use them for anything.
>>
>>44821338
Jill help!
>>
>>44821208
Not telling you how to live your life either. Just warning you. Kaiju Blue is a hell of an herb.
>>
>>44821338
Not too late yet, no.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>44821315
>Endure!
>>44821342
No, I don't!
>>
>>44821378
D'oh!
>Lurco falls off of Jill
Was a simple apology too much!?
>>
>>44821427
You tackled me!
>>
>>44821290

Oh. OH. OHHHHHHH. That means....Oh boy. Well, are you in for a.....
*Hearsch's page beeps*
>Hearsch checks the pager and chuckles
That's my queue gentle men and women of the Guild; I must attend my regular Accountants and Administrators game. Until next guild meeting.

>Hearsch pulls out a small device, presses one of the buttons and a portal appears; he walks through it and it closes behind him
>>
>>44821438
You hurt my feelings!
>>
>>44821342
Because the triceratops are easier to clean after they explode from the strain.
>>44821338
You better not be having your shedding season and FOR THE LOVE OF GODS KEEP THE COCOON ON THE TABLE!!! IT KEEPS SHAKING OFF STRANDS!!!
>>
>>44821362
Cool. What do you want in exchange? Because I have...
Nothing. Honestly, I lost most of my stuff when I accidentally blue up my room.
>>44821338
HEY YOU!
GIMME YOUR LUNCH MONEY!
>>44821365
Sounds awesome. I'll be over later, with, uh, I dunno. I guess I'll swipe some other person's beer.
>>44821378
Lurco, Dorkus Maximus.
>>
>>44818304
OPPPP THE ARCHIVE NO LONGER WORKS!!
>>
>>44821512
Hey!

Don't try to shake people down for their lunch money.
>>
>>44821363
Hey Jill!! What happend?

>She gives small quick blinks the complete dark orb of her's expect for the silver iris staring at her friend

>>44821370
Ah, i'm glad i made it. Veilhexx did you received the acacia i sended to you? I meet your niece too such a sweet girl.

>The cacoon gives a small shake as the insect girl keep it holded.
>>
>>44821548
I did.

And thank you. She is wonderful, isn't she?
>>
>>44821518
4plebs does. I'm looking at it right now.
>>44821528
Fine. On one condition. I think you know the condition.
>>44821548
Seriously, can I get some money? I need it for food. And stuff.
>>
>>44821512
Honestly, what you should bring is some munchies. I got an Old Hobbit-style ale that I made a month ago that should be perfect with Kaiju Blue.
>>
>>44821512
Syth, Whorus Jerkus.
>Sticks his tongue out at you
>And then throws you a bag of gold
>>
>>44821509
No. no my deer that was in the end of the year.That was a good time...

>Her face becomes red as she remembers the sweet moment of the new years end.

>>44821512

What is lunch money?
>>
>>44821593
I do know the condition.

And no.
>>
>>44821512
Eh, consider this one a freebie. I've destroyed all my worldly possessions before during a particularly wild party. I know how annoying such a thing can be.

Word of advice though, keep them away from virgins, of either gender. They tend to, um, deflower, more then one at once, and it's very annoying to have to replace them. Virgins go like hotcakes around here I don't mind telling you.
>>
>>44821461
Well suck it up Lucy
>>
Are you guys open to everybody?
>>
>>44821575
Hehehe, i'm gla d to hear it. Yes she is a little shy but i believe she just need some time to get out of her on cocoon.

>>44821593
Oh you need money?

>She uses one of her four arms and search inside her kimono grabbing a small bag made of black silk the insect girl pass the full bag with silver coins to the stranger.

Will this much be enough?
>>
>>44821708
No we're totally exclusive fuck off newfag. Jk of course we are.
>>
>>44821710
Yeah.

So far her only real friend is a bard.

>>44821708
Yes, just make up a wizardy name and title and join in
>>
>>44821704
Fine.
I'm going to the Healers.
>Lurco limps off
>>44821708
Yep. We have a more concrete setting in the Archives.
>>
>>44821628
Lame. I bet you kiss girls.
>>44821595
Nice. I'll use the money I just bummed off random people!
>>44821660
Ahaha. Ha. Yeah... Um, wh-why don't you keep them then? Ha.
Ha.
>>44821614
>>44821710
>Clutches the bags to her chest.
Aw yeah. I'm gonna eat well tonight.
>>44821708
Yep. Pick a wizardy sounding name and jump in.
>>
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>bursts from a shadow in the corner
I fly on the wall informed me that I could be useful in our fund raiser, and my sister kicked me out of my room.
>>
>>44821747
okay

>>44821765
Awesome. Thank you.

>>44821766
Really? Like a real setting?
>>
>>44821765
Her friend is a bard? Are you sure they are just friends? Bards have quite a infamy on my country...
>>
>Justin walks into the Archives
>>44821765
Someone rang?
Hey Mister Doomblight. How have things been?
>>44821797
Well, we have a map and lore and stuff.
>>
>>44821790
>Crosses arms
>Glare

>>44821797
Yup, concrete setting, overarching plots, the whole shebang

>>44821816
We've taken steps to mitigate any potential problems before they arise.

Fortunately-

>>44821831
Here he is now.

Hey Justin. I'm good. Just talking to one of our newer members. Justin, Jill. Jill, Justin.
>>
>>44821790
I still don't understand why humans use money to eat food. Your species is so strange.

>>44821797
>Really? Like a real setting?
Yes.
>>
>>44821791
Your sister is a slut. Watchya gonna do about it? Huh?
>>44821857
>Holds up a needle and thread.
Imma stitch you if you don't look away.
>>44821869
Well I can get free food in the cafeteria and I can bum some gourmet stuff off Pierre when he's around, but when he's not I need coins to throw at the workers so they do their food magic.
>>44821797
More like a nightmare amalgamation of random crap put together without rhyme or reason.
So yes, a setting. After the thread is done we'll move over to the archives and we can explain it if you're still around.
>>
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>>44821790

Eh, your loss. How about some Mermen from the plane of Liquid Torment?

They're far more, tame, if that's what you're into...
>>
>>44821791
>Briefly awakens from the corner
THEY SAID NO SUCH THINGS
>collapses into another pollen induced coma
>>
>>44818304
YOU CAN'T CUT US OUT
>>
The corridors are flooding and smell of fish! Who keeps doing this!?!
>>44821930
WAS IT YOU!?!?!
>>
>>44821857
Oh, glad to hear it. If you need anything for brewing the guild greenhouse is always open. I even manage some mandrakes they are a little bit old but i think you can find a easy use for then.
>>
>>44821857
I see.
>>44821869
Hello Miss Jill. I'm Justin.
>He's twelve with lightly tanned skin and curly blond hair
>>
>>44821914
You madam, are only upset because my sister can be mistaken for beautiful and you can be mistaken for filth!
>>44821944
well I'm not going back to my room!
>>
>>44821949
>Reawakens briefly
YOUR STUDY IS WEAK AND THOSE MESH KEEPER/WIZARDY HATS MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE PANZIES
>>
>>44821966

I have no earthly idea what your talking about ol' chap.

Speak to that fishing wizard fellow, he might be the one your after.

>Shoves fishboy into a magic sack.
>>
>>44821944
>Shake her antena softly staring at the crazy man.

I cna confirm they didn't.
>>
>>44821857
[Spoiler]Oh, that's pretty cool[/spoiler]

Is this the Guild of Mages?
>>
>>44821869
The reason is usually because barter systems can be inefficient in places like cities and kingdoms.
And it's not just humans. The elven kingdoms have had it in place for at lest six thousand years, including the one I grew up in.
>>
>>44821914
>Hastily looks away

Alright, fine.

>>44821967
Thank you for the offer.

>>44821969
So, how'd the whole "Obsidia staying with you until the department calmed down" thing go?
>>
>>44821930
Um...n-no, I'll just, uh, I'll just go um, do tons of drugs. Yeah. That's the ticket. Drugs.
>>44821978
Hey, I took a shower! Like, some time ago. Look, the drugs really mess with my system!
>>
GUYS, THE CHAINSAWMANCERS ARE MAD ABOUT THIS! THEY'VE GONE UP IN OPEN REBELLION AGAINST GUILD AUTHORITY!
>>
>>44821914
That would be very nice. Thanks
>>
>>44822025
FUCKING AWESOME!
>>44822012
Nah, it's Krazy Karl's Klothes. You want three doors over.
>>
>>44822020
Your patchwork is like budget royal tissue paper!
>>44821978
A shame on you then!
>>
>>44822005
Good to know I've still got that ol' bug charm
>>44822025
The perfect time for me to unveil my chainsaw-roaches to the public!
For too long have we been reliant on the art of summoning loud and violent gardener's tools!
>>
>>44822043
The KKK? Is see robes but they're the wrong colour?
>>
>>44822025
NO!!! THEY'LL GET OIL, SWEAT AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!!

SUMMON THE MECHA T-REXES!!!!
>>
>>44822015
Great. We got to play games and we went shopping in Fortune City a couple of times.
>>44822012
Yep! Who are you?
>>
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>>44821857
Oh ih he were...

>Stares at the young bard with a wide smile dropping the cocoon she was carrying imediatly.

>>44821969
My, my, hello to you young man.

>She her smile still on her face as she approaches Justin a bit more her insect hand caressing the boys blonde hair.

The pleasuare is all mine... So you are miss Doomblight friend aren't you?
>>
>>44822025
I KNEW they couldn't be trusted!

>>44822098
Get anything good?

>>44822099
You seem distracted. I'll leave you to it.
>>
>>44822098
I'm uh...
>SHIT THINK OF A NAME
Prento. The elf Apprentice.
>>
>>44822099
Excuse me madam! Is it Fluff-wap? Or Fluf-fwap?
>>44822069
Egags! My shadow is imitating me again!
>a shadow Tue pops out and makes faces at him
>>
>>44822069
Your budget royal tissue paper is like patchwork! Plus Vex likes me more.
>>44822083
We used up all the bleach, so we have to wait to get more.
Hey, stay away from the moth girl.
>>
>>44822014
That is way to weird inmy country we just get our food out of the wild. Since i moved to the city i had to acquire strange habits such as find a way to get money.
>>
>>44822099
Yeah. The full name's Justin Freude.
Are you a mothperson?
>>44822119
Well, we went shopping for her. We got her some new clothes and some magical goods.
>>44822152
Nice to meet you Prento. I'm Justin.
>>
>>44822043
NO, NOT AWESOME. NOT AWESOME AT ALL.
>>44822078
WHAT?!
>>44822086
>>44822119
WE HAVE MECHA T-REXS?!
WHATEVER, JUS-
>A Chainsaw rips into his chest, cutting his body open
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUAHUFHASUHASIUDFJAISJDI
>>
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>>44822025

Oh, that sounds like fun. Those are the fellows with all the loud revvy weapons right?

Time to break out Ol' Reliable!
>>
>>44822152
Ah good a new Elven apprentice.
I trust you're aware of the initiate test involving hanging these two infantile smog-scorpions from your ears for two days no?
>>
>>44822177
They had to use magic to make me sleep with her. That is fine by me!
>>44822223
My Lolth! The Elfoauty!
>>
>>44822159
It's Fluff-wap deary.

>The cocoon strats to drag into the floor as if it was a worm moving away from the moth girl.
>>
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Ah, I was wondering what all the ruckus was about.

I take it I'm not the only one who feels a little stroked the wrong way about these new financial proposals?

I really would not want to have to send for Mistress Hock. I doubt she would appreciate her sabbatical being interrupted.
>>
>>44822223
How gruesome.

>>44822207
Oh, really?

Anything particularly out of the ordinary?
>>
>>44822119
Thank you friend.
>>
>>44822207
Hi Justin. So where do I learn the magic?

>>44822256
WHAT?!
>>
>>44821981
THAT IS SLANDER
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE ARE SEPARATE FROM THE OTHER BUG SUMMONERS
ALSO BECAUSE WE ARE SUPERIOR
I'm just jumping in here, is that fine?
>>
>>44822223
Hahah!
>Starts eating popcorn as she watches.
That's super gross.
>>44822257
You don't even like Vex. That's super gay.
>>44822261
>Takes out a pair of fine scissors and starts cutting open the cocoon.
>>44822314
I'll stroke you the wrong way if you try and stop the entertainment.
>>
>>44822338
That's only if you want to join the bug related departments of the guild.

My tests are much more, entertaining, for all involved.
>>
>>44822261
Excuse me muss FLUFF-wap, there seems to be a silken serpent escaping.
>>44822348
I do not care if some boy thinks I'm gay or not!
>did he just?
>>44822314
Someone us getting budget cutted!
>>
>>44822338
Yup, just hang them on there and remain perfectly still so as not to be pierced with horrific distended stingers! Cmon all the other elves have done it!
>>44822345
I HAVE ALREADY MASTERED YOUR ART TO THE DEGREE NECESARRY DAMMIT.
MAKING BEES WITH 2 OR 3 EXTRA STRIPES DOESNT CHANGE THEIR FIGHTING POTENTIAL
Feel free, anyone's welcome and our bug crowd could always use diversity
>>
>>44822257
ADAASDASDASDSA
>>44822317
>>44822348
>his body is split in half and three angry chainsawmancers appear
You're not taking our department! Chainsawmancy for LIFE!
Don't cut our department, or we'll show YOU WHAT A BUDGET CUT LOOKS LIKE
>REV UP THOSE CHAINSAWS
>>
>>44822345
>Shrugs
>I did it. Sticking around, apparently they have like a whole setting
>>
>>44822317
Hm, we got her an amulet that not only looks pretty but helps keep raised skeletons together more.
>>44822338
There's a bunch of different classes. My Uncle Glug is the Head of Oozemancy.
>>
>>44822207
Indeed i'm my good boy. And I heard you are a bard right? I'm still very new to this whole world and would like to hear some stories specially if such a nice person like yourself would tell me...


>>44822348
>As Syth opens the cocoon a adult mandrake jumsp out of it attacking her
>>
>>44822391
Well good, because they don't really care either.
>>44822447
>Where did those 3-d glasses come from?
Wow, it's like they're really here!
>>
>>44822447
Hey, hey, chainsawmancers.

I just want you all to know, I had no influence over the decision. I'm dealing with budget problems of my own.

>>44822468
Oh, really? Neat.
>>
>>44822446
I don't believe you...

Maybe I should just go...
>>
>>44822447
>Seizes a chainsaw-roach
YOUR TIME IS OVER NOISE-MAKERS, BEHOLD WHAT NATURE'S BEAUTY AND MY CRAFTSMANSHIP HAVE CREATED TO REPLACE YOUR INEFFICIENCY
>>
>>44822447
You.....little....twerps!!! Do you know how hard it is to get those bloodstains off the floor!??! That's it, i am dropping the bomb on your goddamn department and half the guild for that matter!!

CONJURE THE TITANOSAURUS!!!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>44822447
BUDGET CUT THIS
>runs at the poor mothgirl
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>44822478
Aw yis. Stabbin' practice.
>Close scissors.
>STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB
>>44822497
Nah, stick around. What kind of magic do you do? Is it pyromancy? If it's pyromancy then you need to wear a skirt. Unless your a dude. Haha, what am I saying, you're an elf, it doesn't matter.
>>
>>44822484
They can go play with driders!
>>
>>44822537
Uhhh...I don't know yet.

Is it like this just because I'm new or...?
>>
>>44822348
Regardless of your poor taste in entertainment, it looks like you are going be rather busy.

>>44822447
May I remind you that any attempt at an inter-departmental coup would be classed as a violation of the guild stature and you would no longer be eligible to utilize the services of my department, ergo, chainsaw no go spin, and no more chainsaw fun for you. Go back to your department before I call in Mistress Hock and she you get to find out what the inside of your own chest cavity tastes like.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>44822484
...Oh my gods.
>>44822495
Oh no, you're cool brah.
>another one raises his hand
HIGH FIVE BRAH!
>>44822505
>THEY ATTEMPT TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE CHAINSAW ON THE CHAINSAW ROACH
>>44822512
WE'LL SHRED YOUR PUNY FUCKING TITANOSAURUS AND TURN IT INTO A MEATOSAURUS, MOTHERFUCKER!
>>
>>44822575
It's always weird for new people. We can explain if you come into the archives with us
>>
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>>44822512
You realize your just making more of a mess for you to clean up right?

That said by all means continue fellows, I haven't had this much fun since the vampire rebellions 50 years ago.

Ah, it was a simpler time then, my claws were still in, the howl was still strong, I could still rip a man apart with my Bear hands.

Ah memories.
>>
>>44822575
Nah, it's because Syth is a total POS. Though in the archives the pyromancy department does have a dress code.
>>
>>44822497
Awwww cmon kid, I get that invertebrate-mancy isn't everyone's cup of tea, but there's plenty of other schools around and besides how often are you IN COMBAT WITH THE UNRULY BASTARDS OF
>>44822594
OH GOD NO MY SON WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>44822478
Oh, well, I'm more of the singing kind. But I can tell you some things.
>>44822495
Yep. She also got a new hat.
>>44822532
>Justin tries to use bardic magic to shock and paralyze the chainsawmancer
>He sings this song and music magically fills the air https://youtu.be/2SoXxnlCUqk?t=10
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>44822537
>Being a plant the mandrake doesn't stop after being attacked and stabbed fortunantly Syth can easily subdue the plant monster each stab making the 'green-blood' of the creature splash all over her and the reunion room of the guild. Jill still complety distracted by the young bard's presence.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>44822594
Guess i didn't make myself clear on the first dinosaur....

CONJURE THE ALLOSAURI AND ENCHANT THEIR SKINS TO EXHUME LITTLE NETS SO THE CHAINSAWS DON'T WORK ON THEM!!!
>>
>>44822594
>High fives the potentially unstable chainsawmancer
>And coming from a necromancer, that's saying someting.

>>44822659
Really? Huh. Not many necromancers wear hats anymore. The new fashion is that of hoods.

Or I suppose skull masks.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>44822585
>They fall asleep halfway through
>and all wake up comically
Huh?
Uh..
What?
I dunno, fluffybutts was boring.
>>44822631
>The Chainsaw-Roach speaks
>"I'M SORRY FATHER"
>"BUT ITS NOT YOU"
>"ITS THE FACT YOU HAVE A BED FULL OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND WHISPER TO US TENDERLY EVERY NIGHT, THAT'S JUST CREEPY."
>"GOODBYE."
>He attempts to slice off his hand
>>
>>44822595
Okay. Can I get a link to that instead? I'm way more accustomed to structured Freeform roleplay. I like to call it GURPS without rules.
>>
>>44822680
VICTORY SCREECH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
>Runs out of the archives.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>44822659
>woo, you got the chainsawmancer
>But you didn't get the chainsaw!
>It's flying around everywhere!
>It attacks every thing!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>44822705
Yeah. But she really liked it.
>>44822759
>Justin pulls out a revolver and shoots the chainsaw with an explosive runed bullet
>>
>>44822752
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/50/44818304
But none of us will be there until the thread hits page 10
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>44822722
YOU'D DARE SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER THAT WAY AS YOU SUPPOSEDLY ATTEMPT TO CUT OFF MY HANDS 'NOT OF YOUR FREE WILL'?
THATS IT, YOU BELONG WITH THOSE LOSERS IN CHAINSAW SCHOOL
>is attempting to lob the roach away and keep his precious hands
>>
>>44822752
Here you go.
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/100/44818304
I'll head down there myself, though there probably won't be anyone else until we fall off the board.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>44822659
Ah then i would love to...

>As she was speaking he leaves her grasp starting to sing then the mothgirl noticed all the mess around her protecting the young bard with a Stunning barrier
>>
>>44822801
>>44822788
Okay I'll lurk for now, then see you guys in there.
>>
>>44822702
NO!
NO, IMPOSSIBLE!
>THEY STAND, HORRIFIED
C-CHAINSAWS RULE!
>>44822705
DAMN RIGHT SON.
>They can read greentext?!
>>44822799
>A Beautiful POP! Sound can be heard as his hand is lopped off
>"I FEEL THE POWER FATHER."
>"I HAVE BECOME MORE POWERFUL THEN YOU COULD EVER BE."
>"THIS IS MY DESTINY."
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>44822781
>ded
>BUT CAN YOU AVOID THE EXPLOSION?
>>
>>44822781
I'm not surprised she did.

Now what's the WEIRDEST thing she got?

>>44822831
>I dunno, probably.
>OR maybe it's just a narrator?
>Who the fuck knows?
>>
>>44822831
>Bursts in
I heard there was chainsaws.
>>
>>44822831
>Stares at the stump with little to say
...well... this is something...
There's probably some kind of irony here...
>>
>>44822831

This is all getting rather... out of hand.
>>
>>44822848
>Yep, seems so >>44822824
Oh! Thanks Miss Jill.
>He hugs you
>>44822850
Well, she got some scrolls that she plans on using as traps for other students.
>>
>Teu looks around
what the fuck is going on in here?
>>
>>44822906
Not like that's anything new for the guild.
Guess I'll head back home, gotta work on my newest project: Plant leaves that can be used as ears by undead.
>>
>>44822848
>salutes
LONG LIVE THE CHAINSAWMANCERS!
>>44822850
>Can we stop this crazy 4th wall shit?
WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?!
>>44822862
>Chainsawmancers are rioting and sawing down shit
VIVA LA CHAINSA'LUTION!
>>44822868
>"It's over father."
>"Join the Chainsaw Side."
>"I can show you a power stronger then Bugomancy ever could be."
>>44822906
VIVA LA CHAINSA'LUTION!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>44822958
CHUCK SOME SPELLS AND AVENGE MY HAND AND KILL MY BASTARD ROACH SON
>hurls pocket bees aggressively with his good hand
>>
>>44822913
Heh.

What kind of scrolls?

>>44822958
>Shrug
I dunno. Meetings get weird.

>>44822984
>We could.
>But that would be boring.
>>
>>44822446
Nuh uh!
Mine have extra poison, plus they grow back their stingers grow back, plus they have little masks, plus their the best bugs, plus I'm cool and you're not!
PLHGLPB!
>>
>>44822984
I came here to get Darwin.

Looks like I'm leaving with a chainsaw too.
>Deploys his arm blade, the blue runes humming
>>
>>44823002
Sorry, observer only.
>>44823011
At least chainsawmancers notice me more than my apprentice.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44822984
Even my allosauri don't stop them permanently and they cause too big of a mess with their bone laden shite.

Guess i must fight fire with fire....

Guess i will have to do it.....

I must summon......

Mecha raptors with chainsaws for teeth and claws
>>
Rolled 12, 12 = 24 (2d20)

>>44823002
>he attempts to impale arnold's other arm with the chainsaw
>1st roll
>>44823088
>they wave as they continuing their rebellion
>>44823011
HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
>>44823136
>The chainsawmancers attempt to CQC the raptors
>wih chainsaws
>2nd roll
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>44823011
Necromancy scrolls.
>>44823192
>Justin attempts to freeze all the chainsawmancers
>He starts singing this song and music magically fills the air https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=455-CIgc7co
>>
>>44823192

I'll never join you, the concept of being king to miniature beings will always be stronger than the sensation of humming gardening tools!
>Fires finger webbing

>>44823061
I wish I wasn't too busy to say words about futility!
>>44823135
You are not welcome to lefty or righty's memorial services!
>>
>>44823135
Well, I'm sorry for your apprentice problem.

>>44823192
>...

Huh?

>>44823220
Ah.

That should end hilariously.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>44823255
>Forgot to roll
>>
>>44823192
Sup guys. Can I get a chainsaw?
>>
>>44823255
>>44823286
Can I attend yours?
>>44823268
At least I'm not you know
>points at the people getting cut up
>>
Rolled 11, 20 = 31 (2d20)

>>44823220
>rolling to group dodge roll!
>>44823268
>He's onto u-
>WAIT, HOW DID YOU GET IN HE-
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Hey, you hear that? Tommy got rid of that stupid narrator!
We control this now!
>>44823286
>WHAT'S THIS DICE THINGY?
>ROLL IT DUDE!
>UHH..THE COOL CHAINSAW RODENT ATTEMPTS TO AVOID AND TACKLE HIS LOOSER FATHER!
>YEAH
>>44823290
FUCK YOU NERD!
>>
>>44823379
That's just rude.

Stop the riot. Now.
>>
>>44823268
It should.
It's alright for me to help Obsidia with traps, right?
I mean, networking should be a skill Necromancers need to know to get ahead in life, right?
>>
>>44823352
...

Fair enough.

>>44823379
Uh...

>>44823408
Yeah, it's alright.

She can sabotage traps just fine but I worry about her ability to lay them herself.
>>
>>44823255
What a meanie!
Probably just jealous because he's such a small guy.
>>
>Pops out of a wall
Okay people, I'm back. Whats going on?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44823352
>Stares with a furrowed brow

>>44823379
>Then eats a tackle from the roach
SUMMON MANEATER MANTIS ARRGH
>>44823426
THE BLOOD LOSS FROM MY SEVERED HAND IS BEGINNING TO MAKE ME LESS INTERESTED IN PETTY FIGHTING WITH YOU
>>44823452
MORTY OPERATION HOT COFFEE IS GO
>>
>>44823452
Oh, like, 60 dead mages.
>>44823523
61, I think that puts us under budget now.
>>
>>44823523
>Pulls the lever
>>44823544
Who did the killing?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>44823399
>>44823422
>Chainsawmancers are now frozen
>but their chainsaws are revving
>THEY'RE SLOWLY BREAKING OUT
>>44823452
>Chainsawmancers Rioting
>Mages being sliced in half by chainsaws
>Just a normal day in the mages' guild.
>>44823523
>"IT'S OVER FATHER."
>"I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND."
>He attempts to slice the mantis in half
>>
>>44823575
Not on my watch.

>Channels a torrent of frost and stone to solidify them in place
>>
>>44823556
well there's some...sharp barbed...wheely swords everywhere. I think it was those guys.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>44823598
>Muh dice
>>
>>44823422
Well, I'll make sure she doesn't get hurt.
I'm going to get going. Seeya Mister Doomblight.
>Justin runs off
>>
>>44823613
>>44823575
>Melts back into the wall
>>
I'll open my own guild, for Bees only! If anyone wants to join the up and coming new radical guild, I might make an exception.
>>
>>44823575
>Sigh

>>44823634
See ya!
>>
>>44823598
>>44823628
>REWWWWWWWMMM
>ROLLING TO COUNTER WITH CHAINSAW REVVING
>>44823717
>Hey..
>Don't sigh.
>WE'RE STILL FUCKIN' AWESOME!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>44823544
>Chokes loudly
I REFUSE TO BE INCLUDED IN THAT AMOUNT EVEN IF I DO REACH MY DEMISE HERE

Fortunately.... THAT WON'T BE TODAY
>>44823575
>>44823556
>Attempts to slide away on a bed of ants as jets of scalding hot coffee magically spray from the walls

>>44823673
NO MORE REVOLTS TODAY
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>44823764
>MUH DICE
>>
>>44823784
Run Antman.
>>44823717
way under budget now.
>>44823797
This place is a real slice.
>>
>>44823840
I suppose.

>>44823764
>This can only continue to get worse.
>>
>>44823784
IT'S NO REVOLT, BUT IF I'M GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE GUILD, I'LL MAKE A NEW ONE. ANYONE ELSE GETTING KICKED OUT IS WELCOME.
>>
>>44823784
>He simply watches
>the chainsaw rodent stands
>"Now...I have become the most powerful Chainsawmancer Aen has ever known.."
>Darth Vader's Theme
>>44823797
>frozen
>Completely
>mages all around are sliced in half on the floor or wounded
>And even though the chainsawmancers here were stopped
>The Chainsawmancy Department is still in full revolt against the guild
>This is the age of chainva'lution
>>44823872
>you mean get BETTER!
>>
>>44823894
You are welcome to join my new guild! The home base is in Greenland, so we won't have many neighbors, but that just means that no one will bother us!
>>
>>44823894
This isn't the last you'll see of me! I'll be back with dumber insects and a swatter hand where this one used to be!
>>44823840
I resent the improper representation of insects provided by that naaaaaaaame
>Is carried out of the room and down the stairs towards his office
>>
No one is getting rid of my department without a fight
>>
>>44823982
I bet you'd still have your hand if you had MY bees on your side.
>>
>>44824065
Why don't you shove that chainsaw up your ass?
>>
File: ozoi3.jpg (49 KB, 604x477) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ozoi3.jpg
49 KB, 604x477
Alright, it's about time to clear out into the arch-WHY ARE THERE CHUNKS OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE?!
>>
>>44824121
Looks like you need some space.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>44824084
>Fires a shot of web-string up the stairwell briefly and attempts to make the beemancer slap himself
>>
>>44824121
I'm sorry, the chainsawmancy department rioted.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>44823965
>"No..I stay here...I shall lead this revolution.."
>"..This..Chainsa'lution."
>Cue MGS 3 Music
>>44823982
>"Mwahahhahahaha!"
>>44824065
>more chainsawmancers run in
OH SHIT, IT'S THE BOSS!
FUCK YEAH, CHAINSAWMANCY RULES!
HEAR THAT TOMMY?
>I HEAR YOU DARREL
CHAINSAWMANCY RULES!
>FUCK YEAH!
>>44824101
>One Chainsawmancer attempts to chainsaw punt him
>Yes
>A Chainsaw Punt
>>
>>44824101
You just stepped on my cornflakes, and stepping on someone's cornflakes is a weird way to eat cornflakes
>>
>>44824065
>looks at the dead and frozen mages
I think you got it.
>>44824121
Budget cuts, budget cuts never changes.
>>
>>44824146
>incomprehensible ranting!
>>44824148
WHY IS THAT A THING WE HAVE?
>>
>>44824183
I dunno.

But we have one, and it rioted upon hearing its funding would be cut.
>>
>>44824169
>>44824173
>Gets Chainsaw Punted.
Looks like I'm blasting off ag-OH GOD MY LEGS!
>Bloody Twinkle.
>>
>>44824183

You honestly have to ask that question?

>>44824209

It's the chainsaw department, they riot over everything and anything. It's practically one of the requirements.
>>
>>44824065
HOSS DELGADO.

It's time we've settled this.
>>
>>44824121
The real question is why aren't there more?!
>>
>>44824065
>Swoons
>>
>>44824242
BOOYAH!
>>44824279
Hell yeah, he said it!
>They start chainsawing free their chainsawmancer comrades who are iced
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>44824147
Ow!
>Send one of my superior bees to sting you
>>44824169
Cool. I'll just watch.
>>
>>44824279
Because that's terrible you maniac!
>>
>Walks in
Why. Why are you humanoids so unbelievably violent and foolish?
>>44824183
Would you like some help? After all this is done?
>>
File: 4798365.jpg (19 KB, 424x320) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
4798365.jpg
19 KB, 424x320
>>44824266
You dare cross paths with ME?!
HOSS DELGADO?!
>>44824340
>catches with one arm as he revs his chainsaw arm
>>
New thread?
>>
>>44824430
Ghostposting in the archives http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/50/44818304/#44822788
>>
>>44824430
We just head to the archives when this dies, and continue for several weeks before making a new thread
>>
>>44824279
Enough.

You versus me. Mano a mano. You lose? Your Chainsaw spellblades flee to the northern Barrens. You take then name of Zar'nek Delgado. "Exile" in the Tongue of my ancestors.

You win? My spoils of war are yours and your kin's.

Agree?
>>
>>44824428
>Picturesque pose

>>44824448
>>44824430
Days, not weeks
>>
>>44824454
first to nat 20 wins
>Lunges
CORNFLAAAAAAAAAKES
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>44824496
>rolls the dice
>>
>>44824419
Please...
>>
...What in the Nine hells did I walk in on?
>>
>>44824543
Lupa!

Hi!

The chainsawmancers are revolting.
>>
>>44824543
Hell
>>
>>44824496
>>44824521
>chainsawmancers all around cheer him on
SHOW THAT SKINNY STUPID LIZARD WHO'S THE MOTHERFUCKING BOSS, BOSS!
CHAINSAWMANCY FOR LIFE!
>>44824543
>The dead bodies of mages and chainsawmancers litter the floor
>Chainsawmancers are rioting
>..Normal day.
VIVA LA CHAINSA'LUTION!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>44824496
We'll carry on in the Archives once we hit 404

>Deploys the Runeblade
RAAAAAAAAGH!
>>
>>44824566
I can see that. The answer is simple. We take away all their oil and wait for the chainsaws to break.

>>44824583
Don't make me get my Hydra.
>>
>>44824528
>Gives her a small smile
Alright, besides, it will be...pleasant? To talk to you again.
>>
>>44824623
That doesn't really deal with the ones chainsawing people apart at this very moment.
>>
>>44824599
Already in the archives
>>
>>44824663
You think too much in the short term. You have to look at the bigger picture.
>>
I've picked up a new field! Now I'm twice the mancer I was before!
>>
I'll only be here for a short bit longer.
>Walks in
>>44824694
Hm, who is this beauty I see before me?
>>
>>44824623
FUCK YOU NERD!
>>44824663
>>44824694
HAH, SHE THINKS OUR CHAINSAWS RUN ON OIL!
MAGIC!
>>44824748
>A Random mage grabs his nametag and rewrites it to say "Beepisser and Vacumancer Lame"
HAHAHA!
>>
>>44824792
Your brown-nosing will not save your disgusting department from my wrath, former fishman.

>>44824811
Don't forget that we had to enchant your chainsaws for you. So while magic do keep them running longer, they will need oil eventually.
>>
File: GROOVY.jpg (132 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
GROOVY.jpg
132 KB, 1920x1080
>>44824693
HOOOOOSSSSSSS! YOUR REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER! THE DEPARTMENT IS MINE!
>>
>TAKES MEGAPHONE
ATTENTION EVERYONE.
THIS IS A HOSTILE TAKEOVER BY BEST DEPARTMENT, CHAINSAWMANCY DEPARTMENT!
IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET SAWED, GET THE FUCK OUT.
>REEEEEWWWWWWWMMMMMM
>We move the Archives now
> http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/44818304/
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/last/100/44818304
>>
>>44824860
Eh?
No... Lupa?
Huh, I must leave.
>Leaves
>>
>>44824860
>Puts megaphone in her face
>shouts
CHAINSAWMANCY NEVER DIES.
>>
>>44824922
that's right, run away like your cowardly slimes.
>>
>>44824875
I beg to differ
>>
>>44824811
Man, what a jerk!
>Let out a single tear
>Fix my nametag
>Put on some jazz
>>
>>44824955
>knees them in the groin as her ears start to bleed.
Jackass. Now I can't hear for the next 5 minutes while my eardrums heal.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>44824975
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzVBqBosf5w
Sorry beautiful, I'm spoken for!
>ATTACK
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>44824992
>Chainsaw clash!
>>
>>44825021
>REST IN PEACES ASH
>>
>>44825038
>Makes mask of your face
>>
>>44824992
>>44825021
>>44825038
>Record Scratch right before Ash dies
>Freeze Frame
>>
>>44825056
It must have been someone pretty cold-blooded.
>walks off, probably to return again, wearing Ash's face as a mask
>>
>Everything..everyone..dear gods..
>The Wrath of the Chainsawmancers has been awakened.
>>
>>44825268
Hah! Idiots.
Thread replies: 456
Thread images: 32
Thread DB ID: 437506



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