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>Tfw you will never serve a proper noble lady.
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You are currently reading a thread in /tg/ - Traditional Games

Thread replies: 166
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>Tfw you will never serve a proper noble lady.
>Tfw when you will never die in her name.
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>>44783907
>tfw mine looks a lot like the one you had
>tfw I'm comin' to steal to gurl
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>>44783907
>wanting to die for some rich spoiled slut that gives no shits about you.
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>>44783907
>not introducing cholera into the city's water supply when the peasants get uppity
Fuck dying for my noble mistress. I'd rather kill obscene number of innocents for her and grow old by her side, laughing years later about how much fun we had back during the revolution.
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>>44783907
I like the story /tg/ came up when this picture was first posted:
>Grizzled old knight that holds loyalty and duty above all
>A Noble lady who has been cursed by Vampirism from an early age
>Her secret has gotten out to the commoners.
>Every month she's escorted by her knight to the church to see if they can cure her of her disease, but they always return to the keep empty-handed of results.
>Despite the public hate towards her and the villain she's painted out to be, the Knight never wavers in his duty and loyalty to her.
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>>44784673
thats gibben me a feel bruv
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>>44783907
I've got a knight bg Paladin in 5e that has a squire and a noble lady as his retainers. He takes her on adventures while she writes poems for a bard in the group to recite for some extra coin for the party, while the squire runs back and forth getting supplies and repairs. >feelsgoodman.png
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>>44785939
>Playing in a group
>I roll a fighter, friend rolls a sorcerer, another rolls a cleric
>Before we start the game, we all agree the three of them know each other. My fighter is a knight and a guard to the sorcerer who's a prince, while the cleric is in service at the palace.
>Plot hook is the prince is kidnapped and the knight and cleric, both being close friends to the prince, go after him
>First quarter of the game is the prince trying to escape captivity from a noble whose been subjugated into doing the bidding of his father, who had recently become a lich.
>Prince manages to escape, but the army of said noble and the dark forces the lich controls go after him
>Knight and cleric manage to stumble into the prince
>The knight finds out about all the awful shit that his captors did to him, swear to take him back to the palace before going out to take down these fucks
>Cleric and prince insist that they come along, too, knight is adamant about taking him back but what's a martial to do against two casters?
>Shit happens, cleric (female) and prince start getting chummy, a nice little romance starts budding
>Knight starts getting surly about it, snappy at everyone, but still keeps going along with their plans
>DM brings in another player, a druid
>Wary at first, but the guy seems cool so we let the player continue on
>Druid starts siding with the knight, making loud protests about the budding romance and how it's interfering with the task at hand
>Starts taking the knight aside and telling him that they should ditch the cleric and force prince to go home
>Knight, while disliking the fact that his friends are there and jeopardizing things, still stays true to the task and the wishes of his lord
>One night the party's ambushed
>Prince gets injured pretty badly, cleric's unconscious, druid's hands are full dealing with the raiders
>Knight goes berserk but is eventually taken down, too
>Fade to black
>Everyone wakes up, prince is gone

Should I continue?
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>>44784673
>not smiting the undead horror inhabiting the corpse of your lady
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>>44786178
You'd better.
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>>44786336
....Wouldn't that kill her, too?
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>>44786400
It's not her anymore, lad, just a thing that looks like she used to.
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>>44783907
Someone continue that story about her being a vampire and the sir knight having to shield her from the sun
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>>44786421
That depends on how vampires in the setting work, doesn't it? From what I understand vampires are pretty variable.
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>>44786453
>being this dense

smdh familia
>>
>>44786397
>Not that they needed telling, but after some tracking, they run into a village
>The ambush was set up by the noble, the village barely survived and a lot of their goods were taken in the process
>We go after the party, the knight leading the charge
>Catch up with them, don't even try to be stealthy, that's how irate the knight is
>See us coming from a mile off but this time we have the upper hand
>Fucking slaughter the group
>Manage to get ahold of the prince, his untreated wounds have started to fester
>Order cleric to take him back to the village while druid and knight hunt the survivors down
>Pretty much at that point we're like the fucking Terminator, don't even gather intel, just murder
>Delicious murder
>No survivors
>Knight and druid return to the village
>Knight says nothing to anyone, just sit down next to the bed prince is using and doesn't move from his spot
>Only person allowed near is the Cleric, everyone else gets a sword pointed at them
>Sleep only long enough to ensure he isn't at death's door
>Cleric and Druid actually start getting nervous about it
>Prince finally starts going on the mend
>Knight stops scaring people off but spends the next day or so trying to convince the prince that they need to go home
>Prince refuses
>"We need to see this through. I can not rest peacefully knowing this fiend is about my kingdom while I still have the power to do something about it."
>"As you wish, Your Grace."
>Group continues on
>At this point knowledge of the noble and his dark father has spread, an army has amassed
>The party joins up with the realm's army and are preparing for an assault
>The King's Armies, led by his sorcerous heir against a mounting rebellion held strong by the malcontents of the realm and the legions of the dead
>The battle is horrific. Men fall, only to rise again as monstrous shells of what they once were. Life and limb and eyesight are lost
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>>44786613
>Still not all is lost as the paragons of the battlefield are made known
>Right in the thick of it is might and magic, the power of god and the forces of nature battling to end this evil, the bards would surely sing of this battle for ages to come
>It looks like we are going to win, fuck yes
>But then night falls
>All the horrible things we thought we'd seen pales in comparison to the fell creatures that had waited for this opportunity
>Still we fight on
>Just as it looks like things are again turning to our favor, the prince is set upon by a wraith, apparently the general of the undead forces on the battlefield
>Our shit is handed to us six ways from Sunday
>Knight receives fatal wound, is bleeding out
>Cleric is starting to flag
>Druid's somewhere else entirely
>Prince is fighting valiantly but it looks like he's about to go down, too
>Knight watches, bleeding out and weak
>"Not...like...this."
>>
>>44783907
Why is she wearing a thorn crown?
I she female Jesus?
>>
>>44786767
>Knight drags himself painfully to his feet
>Stumbling but determined, places himself between wraith and prince
>"I care...not about the...odds, monster. As long as...I draw breath. He will not be harmed again."
>Roll to attack.
>It's a 7
>DM cuts in right then and there, informs us the attack is a success
>Wraith explodes in a wave of light and DM passes along a note telling me what to do here
>Turn to prince
>"Such dedication is a rare thing, indeed. I regret that this is where you must part."
>Knight collapses
>DM informs us that my character has died smiling.
>On his forehead is the mark of Iomedae
>Cleric informs the party later that in that last moment the knight was filled with holy power unlike any she'd seen before
>I roll up a bard after the battle ends
>Lich is destroyed at the end of the campaign, the noble is executed publicly
>The party returns to the capital, the cleric and prince get married, the bard lives lavishly for all the song fodder he's churned out, the Druid lives innawoods
>At the front of the temple of the temple of Iomedae is a statue of the knight, sancitfied by her order
>That holy power was Iomedae herself using the knight as a vessel in that last moment to fill his wish
>>
>>44786859
One hell of a story. Thanks anon.
>>
>>44784673
>contrived, nonsensical plot designed to make faggots go MUH FEELZ
Leave it to /tg/ to be a massive faggot.

Shame too, because it's a nice picture and now you can never bring it up again with fags like you posting your shitty fanfiction
>>
>>44786859
Nice.
Little unsure about the bard thing. How did he know about the battle when it happened before you played him?
Why would you start a new character when you were essentially at the epilogue?
>>
>>44786859
>>It's a 7
>>DM cuts in right then and there, informs us the attack is a success
If that happened to me I woulda been so fucking mad at the DM for ruining the moment
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>>44783907
>tfw you won't lead a glorious revolution against decadent nobles
>tfw you won't dethrone those fuckers and proclaim syndicatlist republic
why live if I can't further the cause of the working class?
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>>44784673
twas a pretty good thread, despite the couple of cringey over-the-top posts, as usual.
In fact we're doing a pseudo kingdom of heavens short campaign right now, where the king has vampirism instead of leprosy, and I'm pretty sure the GM got some of his ideas here.

>>44787048
>browse /tg/
>doesn't like make-believe
Why are you even going here in the first place?
>>
>>44784673
Got a link link to the thread?
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>>44783907
repostan
>>
>>44790233
found it
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/44447366/
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>>44790233
There is a screencaps with the majors ideas.
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>>44790401
>>44790624
Sound lads, cheers.
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>>44787103
I wasn't. That battle was pretty much the precursor for act 3. Dude ran into the party essentially during the part where everyone was grieving for him, particularly cleric and prince, the latter of whom had grown up with the knight always around in some capacity. It was his best friend and that battle was stuff of legends.

There was also a second battle that allowed the party the proper distraction needed to storm the castle and take on the lich and destroy his phylactery.
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>>44787959
>lead a glorious revolution against decadent nobles
>become another decadent noble without even removing the rest of them from court

there may be more earnest and idealist revolutionaries, but a common cause of the working class is to depart the working class
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>>44787911
Being so dedicated to your cause that you become a temporary avatar to the goddess of valor to one-shot a wraith lord and later become one of her saints is pretty fucking metal, I thought.
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>>44783907
Fucking white knights I swear man.

I mean, protecting women is good and all, but putting it as the first priority in your life is just a waste.
>>
>>44792230
antipaladin pls go. I think there's a razor nearby you can cut yourself with.
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>>44792322
The fuck did you delete your post just to repost the exact same thing?
>>
>>44790624
MOAR!

I read moar grumpy knight, I need more vampire princess so chaste and virtuous, I need more tales of stubborn nobility and bare knuckle line holding.

MOAR!
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>>44792336
I had to edit out blackguard with antipaladin. Some assholes get hung up on those things. And on assumptions.
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>>44784603
OT, but that pic right there is the reason Skyrim scrapped character classes entirely.
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>>44792322
>>44792347

That's some autistic level of self-preservation there anon, literally no one cares, why did you even think otherwise? Not even the guy you replied to cares, given that the anon was joking, and you'd have to retardedly sensitive or malicious to think otherwise
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>>44792493
He asked for clarification. I gave it to him.
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>>44792226
>syndicalism
>not the only way for working class to rule and still be workers
Come on, it's like you don't even want to see the redistribution of means of production. First step will be banning private ownership of land. Their nobility will mean nothing then.
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>>44794221

I like the syndicalist spirit, but don't think it's the end-all be-all of anarchism by a long shot. A lot of stuff doesn't work that way.
(Comic courtesy of Anarcho Fun Pages)
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>>44783907
>Tfw you will never serve a proper noble lady.
>Tfw when you will never die in her name.

son, my family is possibly the descendant of Viking kings. so 1: Our ladies don't need protection, and 2: I've got húskarlar to serve ME.
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>>44787048
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>>44787048
It's /tg/, I dunno what you're expecting.
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>>44792262
You don't cut yourself with razors.
You cut other people with razors.
Spikes and shit go on the outside, that's like rule 1.
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>>44794525
>that's like rule 1.
but anti-paladins don't believe in rules!
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>>44794274
So what else are you proposing? We can't allow this system based on redistribution of swords by some watery twat to continue.
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>>44794546
But they believe in anti-rules.
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>>44792347
Sooooo what's the difference between a Paladin, Antipaladin, Blackguard, Gray Guard, Fallen Paladin, Paladin of an evil deity, and a Holy Knight???
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>>44794745
Names
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>>44783907

>dying to protect her name
>not living to protect her forevermore

PLEB.
>>
Good.

Why should I protect someone just cuz she's rich?
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>>44794915
Because she pays for your fancy shit, fuckass
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>>44794745
They're just terms people use to justify their arguments
>>
>>44794745
PR
>>
>>44792479
Reason of scraping classes and butchering lots of rpg elements in Skyrim is not some custom name. Its a fucking Bethesda laziness and pondering to casuals.
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>>44786859
HE DIDN'T EVEN GET A KISS FROM HIS PRINCE FOR HIS LOYAL SERVICE AND DYING TO PROTECT HIM SHIT STORY ANON 0/10 WOULD RAGE AGAIN
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>>44783907
>not being British
ISHYGDDT
>>
>>44787048
Right?!
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>>44787048
Not really. It starts out nice I will grant you.

Then you start to notice shit like the copy pasted towers, the wall looks like it's at an odd leaning back angel and that dude in the crowd near the left border who devours a part of the soul of all who look upon him.

Also this is /tg/. We occasionally have "make a short story out of this image" threads because make believe is fun.

No but seriously don't look at that git in the crowd near the left border of the picture for too long or you start hearing whispers.
>>
>>44795205
And she has her wealth only due to exploitation of common folk like me.
Down with monarchy!
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>>44797073
YOU'RE A LANDED KNIGHT YOU IDIOT, YOU *ARE* NOBILITY!

Which means...

You're first against the wall.
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>>44784603
>not wanting to be trained since birth to give your life for the liege and his kin
>not wanting to be knighted upon the coming of age by your liege, as his loli daughter gazes in amazement at your handsome teenage knightly self
>not exchanging letters with the young lady while out on the front lines, telling tales of how you broke the enemy with your charge and how close you came to meet your end by pike and crossbow
>not going on a quest to slay the dragon who laid waste to the castle and kidnapped the princess
>not wanting to be given an abundance of land and title for your deeds, and the hand of a young girl who cannot remember a moment she hasn't loved and idolized you

It's like you hate all the things real men desire.
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>>44797259
>Implying that a woman could be better than your battle brothers whom you shared your babtism of blood and fire with
>>
>>44794745
Paladin is devout good man blessed with divine power drawn from his cause, antipaladin is the opposite, blackguard is an antipaladin, grey guard is a paladin granted the power to return to the fold more easily upon breaking his code, fallen paladin is an ex-paladin, paladin of an evil deity is dumb and a 'holy knight' is either a synonym for paladin or a paladin sans magic, depending on what you mean by holy
>>
>>44797470

Well, your BRUVAS can't bear children, thus allowing you to perpetuate the cycle of birth, training, asskicking, and 400 babies.
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>>44799831
What if... lads listen to me for a second, what if... the lady was your bruvah?
>>
>>44797470
Where is that knight on the right hand side from?
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>>44797259
Imagine taking a bullet for one of the Kardashian sisters. That's literally what you'd be dying for
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>>44800206
Preposterous! That....that can't be allowed...!

Can it?
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>>44800571
hahahahahaha
pretty gud.
that would indeed be one of the worst things I can ever imagine.
The thing is that he isn't talking about that. He's talking about following and serving and protecting someone worth protecting and serving.
People not worth protecting tend to die when the assassins come for just that reason. How many times were Roman Dictators, Senators, and Emperors slain by the very Praetorians who were supposed to protect them? Even if a bodyguard goes through the motions of protecting someone who pays them, if they truly suck, I imagine most aren't willing to risk life or limb when the moment comes.

This is what I imagine at least, but I think it's valid.
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>>44800571
I don't see where he implied that whatsoever
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>>44801702
Yes but reality of the situation is that posters like >>44783907 >>44797259 are romanticizing a girl that is in actuality just >>44784603
It really would be like dying for a Kardashian sister.

It's a beta fantasy that appeals to men with naive views about relationships and women, as well as the reality of what chivalry actually was

>>44801945
>/v/ REALLY wants attention
It's ok /v/, I don't hate you. Just be upfront about and honest about your relationship needs instead of playing these games
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>>44803296
>It's a beta fantasy that appeals to men with naive views about relationships and women, as well as the reality of what chivalry actually was

I don't know if this has dawned on you but the entire knightly ideal in fantasy is a beta male fantasy whether it has to deal with women or other arbitrary bullshit concepts like justice or honor. Each one is just as unrealistic and shallow as the other. Dying for the dirty peasants who have the memory span of gnats is really no different than dying for the Kardashian.

Really it's better just not to be a moralfag at all and just grab what you can from life with a bloody fist.
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>>44783907

Besides, why would I want to serve some spoiled cunt when I could be out there exploring new worlds, learning new magics, dealing with new threats, and banging much better puss? Seriously
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>>44803615
Right on, I think I'll go rob a store now, fuck moralfags who call cops by the way
>>
>this thread
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>>44803715
Man is an animal. We can't act out those urges in real life, but it boggles my mind why anyone would want to be a moralfag in a fantasy world where we CAN do whatever we want and have far more advanced powers than in real life.
Moralfags never make sense.
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>>44804237
>He thinks this is an adequate "rebuttal" towards anything despite being nothing more than ad hominem
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>>44804246
Hmm I don't have anything against that kind of freedom, but as a player whether my character is good or evil, I'd prefer to be nice about it either way.
>>
>>44783907
>not wanting to be a prince instead
Just y'know, chilling doing princely shit. And smacking any hoes that give you lip.
>>
>>44800484
The same game as Solaire... Dank Souls, its the Elite Knight armor.
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>>44797259
And so passed the one anon in this whole thread to get what the OP was talking about. Also, as I feel the need to point this out, fantasy is whatever you want it to be. If one anon thinks the OP's question is about being a knight who protects someone worth protecting (me) that's fine, and if someone else thinks she's a Kardashian, that's fine too. It's whatever each of us want it to be guys.
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>>44804237
>if you don't want to die for m'lady youre an edgelord moral relativist
>>
>tfw you will never serve the kind but unambitious queen of a small nation
>you will never be appointed a member of her bodyguard
>you will never secretly hire mercenaries to attack her for the purpose of thwarting them to gain her trust
>you will never be appointed her spymaster for the protection of her person
>you will never sour her trust of everyone but you, forcing her to be ever more reliant on your assistance
>you will never fabricate more false threats, driving her to paranoia and reclusion
>you will never use her strange behavior to sow political discord and bring prominent nobles to your side
>you will never mount a coup d'etat and name yourself protector of the realm
>you will never abolish her rule completely and go on to forge your own empire of gunpowder and munition plate
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>>44805356
>mercenaries attacking the queen for a pretty penny
A lotta loyalty for a hired sword.
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>>44807999
Maybe he's wondering who'd stab a man before throwing him from a castle wall?
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>>44808160
Uh, you don't get to bring squires.
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>>44808195
If I pull that coup d'etat off, will you die?
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>>44808296
It would be extremely overthrowing.
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>>44808905
You're a big kingdom.
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>>44795319
>muh casuals
I know it's true, but hearing it here makes me mad for some reason since I see it described for everything. Even motherfucking pokemon, seriously?
>>
>>44795319
So that means he#s still right. The guys from Bethesda WANTED to be massive fucking faggots.

>>44783907
Yes, YOU will never be.
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>>44783907
I've honestly never done this, but I totally should. I love Paladins, I love protecting things, and I love qt princesses who reward me with sweet cheek kisses, so really that I haven't gone this route before now is strange.
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>>44783907
who the fuck is this guy
>>
>>44810810

That's the one.

>>44796821

No idea but he takes a bit of the soul of all who see him.
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>>44809836
You've never had civil wars and peasant uprising crushed brutally? You're missing all the fun of rpgs.
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>>44797073
Hahah, thinking knights are commoners.
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>>44800206
>>44801250
Yes, with caveats.
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>>44805356
>>44797259
>working for royalty
>not stealing from them instead

have fun protecting some stuck up wench while I pocket her coin purse
>>
>>44808943
For thee.
>>
>>44812229
>implying they own means of production
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>>44813184
They kind of do - both the land and the people.
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>>44813223
Those who did, payed to be exempted from service. Full plate suggests it's at least XVI century, so armies consisting of wealthy nobility would be at the very decline, being replaced by professional mercenaries.
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>>44810810
Probably in league with this little trickster
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A beautiful, tender noble lady is important for any good knight. A man must navigate the brutal world of warfare with only his god and the sweet thought of his lady to temper his heart. Their purity and chastity remind the blood-soaked knight that there exists a foil to the barbarism he is forced to endure every day.

The proper lady is a symbol whose existence reminds a knight that the savagery he endures safeguards her pure and untainted heart.

Every time you see your "Kardashian" lady flitting from store to store whining about the insufficient luxury of her birthday presents or her ballgown, remember that she only does so because you have spared her the horror of watching a man's entrails slide from his split gut like wet snakes, from having to shove your dirk into the heart of a fallen warrior whose legs have broken under his horse, from the bloodsoaked murder you have dedicated your life to.

If all you want her for is to fuck her, you are no knight. Knighthood is a job. Fuck wenches on your own time, you perverted slackers.
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>>44812400
> coin purse
>>
U
>protect skanks who get spitroasted by peasants in their spare time
>suffer blue balls your entire life
>die like a rat after the commonfolk revolt and lynch all the aristocracy

Me
>protect bro-tier king who cares about his country and people
>get to rape and murder anyone i want
>die a glorious death defending my king and homeland
>>
>>44817275
>get to rape and murder anyone i want

You should be locked up
>>
>>44817463
for what?
>>
>>44783907
I can live with that
>>
>>44817614
Ballin' too hard.
>>
I've always wanted to play in a mismatched Princess and her Escorts game.

Probably stems from FFX.
>>
>tfw you could have been fucking nobility if your ancestors hadn't picked the wrong friends 800 years ago
>>
>>44818871
This made me laugh until I realized how true this is
Networking is a bitch
>>
>>44783907
>Dying for your lady
>Not making other faggots die for theirs
Topkek
>>
>>44818871
>tfw you could have been rich as fuck if it weren't for Pancho Villa.
>>
>you will never be a knight charged with being the personal guard of one of the princesses.

>you will never be forced to go along with all her frivolous girly crap

>you will never have to oversee some small get together that she planned for all her noble friends

I just think the idea of some heavily-built strong knight who was trained since he was five having to be a like:

>"yes, this sweet tea is quite good m'lady."
>"Yes m'lady, the bouquet building challenge was quite fun."
>"No, m'lady, I am thoroughly enjoying helping you sew your own dress."
>>
>>44817275
>protect bro-tier king
>king
>Vlad III
He's a voivode, you mongoloid. Prince or duke would have been acceptable, but not king.
>>
>>44818871
I know that feel.

At some point in time one of my family will have to track down the heir of John of Gaunt and then we must do battle.
>>
>>44787048
Nothing wrong with melodrama.
>>
>>44819363
>sudden ambush
>Oh gods thanks finally
>It's a surprise party for the princess
>"How sweet of those people! Isn't that wonderful, sieur Malvoison?"
>"Yes m'lady. Wonderful indeed"
>I'LL KILL YOU ALL. I'LL SLAUGHTER YOU LIKE CATTLE AND FEAST ON YOUR BONES.
>>
>>44818871
>you avoided centuries of incestuous inbreeding because your ancestors made the right friends 800 years ago
>>
>>44792479
>>44795319
>>44809059

it's probably more to do with that nobody at bethesda knows how to actually program or code a game properly combined with a fear of using any engine that isn't gamebryo

>>44809059
that's the large reason why i stay away from /v/. casual is basically a buzzword there
>>
>>44817463
Rape and murder.
>>
>>44817614
Rape and murder, and wanting to commit them.
>>
>>44823457
kek
>>
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>>44790624
>something I wrote gets screencapped
>>
>>44783973
https://youtu.be/vSQbTb8_btw
>>
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>>44797259
Actually, with courtly love most knights would be chasing after the wife of their liege lord. The daughter was off limits because she was well guarded as she was worth marrying off, but a lady had plenty of maids that could help her hide some illicit meetings and even a pregnancy. That is, assuming any knight ever got that far - it was always her choice.
>>
>>44790624

Loved most of that, especially the part of the grumpy-as-hell knight helping the vampiric princess because he's essentially an uncle after protecting her for so long.

Didn't like the part with the anon suggesting the knight is secretly a vampire. It's not a bad idea, but I don't think it fits that well with the other parts of the writefagging.
>>
>>44812400
> red guard
>>
>>44827683
In some rural areas, it wasn't uncommon for traveling knights to spend the night with one of the daughters of the castle. Europe is a big place, and the middle ages a long era, so you had all sorts of different customs depending on the time and place.
>>
>>44783907
But you can anon! Dedicate your life to the service of our lady the queen of heaven and your reward shall be eternal. Not only is she indisputably the noblest of women, but there have to be hundreds of orders dedicated to her service.
>>
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>>44783907
>Not wanting to be a lordling
>Not wanting a ladyknight to serve you
>>
>>44833125

DEUS VULT
>>
>>44833125
I sometimes wish knightly orders were still a thing.
>>
>>44836395
They still are a thing, it's just that you can be knighted for the most retarded reasons. Uma Thurman got knighted in the Legion d'Honneur for being "a classical beauty". Napoleon must be so proud of his country.
>>
>courtly love
Not even once.
>>
>>44836418
I meant going out armed to protect the pilgrim paths and maintaining and guarding way houses in His name.

Not just the mostly empty publicity thing it has become.
>>
>>44783907
Fucking heteropatriarchy, leave them alone you rapist
>>
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>>44836534
>Be noble knight
>My kingdom is one of the last bastions between the civilized world and the evil hordes of Darkness
>My liege has sent me out on an important mission: to inform the Queendom of Femen of the massive force heading their way
>Relations between our realms have been rocky, but we both share a dislike of Darkness
>After crossing a border, I find an inn to spend the night
>"Innkeeper, your finest room! And a stable for my horse!"
>She becomes red with fury and goes on a tangent about how men oppress women with their high expectations
>She whines that men only take and never give
>Despite upholding knightly virtues, in my boredom my eyes momentarily slide down to her impossibly deep cleavage
>"DID YOU JUST FUCKING RAPE ME? RAPE! RAPE!!!!!"
>Suddenly, female soldiers crawl out of the fucking woodworks and start stabbing me
>If it wasn't for my both highly practical and highly fashionable codpiece, my groin would be a bloody mush at this point
>Run away, decide I'll travel on until I reach the capital
>Ten hours later, I'm exhausted and reach the capital
>Kneel and ask the guard for an audience with their queen as politely as possible, to avoid any controversy
>It works
>Do the same to the queen as I explain that the forces of darkness are approaching and she should prepare her defenses, as our realm cannot spare the troops to assist them
>"OHMIGAWD, ARE YOU FUCKING MANSPLAINING? I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW!"
>Try to explain it was never my intention to mansplain, whatever that means
>"NO, SHUT UP! WHY CAN'T CISHET MEN JUST LISTEN AND BELIEVE?"
>I haven't had any sleep in nearly 30 hours, can't suppress a yawn during her tirade
>"GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!"
>Draw my sword to protect myself
>The queen accuses me of using a phallic, patriarchal symbol to oppress their gender equal utopia
>Point out that spears are more phallic than swords
>Escape during the confusion
>Don't rest until I find an inn on our side of the border
>>
>>44817614
Bein' a cunt.
>>
>>44836655
Witnessed and kek'd.
>>
Looks like some of you fucks need an education on the rules of courtly love.
https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/rules_of_love.html
Rule number one should tell you that it's shit.
>>
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>>44837304
>NTR
How horrible.
>>
>>44837304
Considering courtly love came about in a time where marriage was primarily a political/social/economic transaction, rule number one makes a lot of sense.
>>
>>44836655
Well done.
>>
>>44836655
>Darkness eventually arrives to both lands.
>The Queendomof Femen is raped of it's warrior women.
>Oddly though, pictures of dead children from Darkened armies seem to displayed on local bulletins.
>Rather than the mass rape.
>Remaining Femen justify it as necessary foreign adoption, giving shelter to noble hordlings persecuted by others of their Horde.
>Kingdoms willingly let the invading armies in, not willing to be persecuted by remaining Femens.
>Society is destroyed.

Mfw glad to be Chinese and outside of this shit entirely.
>>
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>>44837538
>Chinese
>Uncensored access to 4chan
Canadian, plz.
>>
>>44837538
How is California "outside of this shit"?
>>
>>44837538
>Chinese
>Allowed to go on a website from beyond The Great FireWall.

Nah, don't think so.
>>
>taking bait
>>
>>44783907
>Be a man at arms in a lord's retinue
>Summons me for a private meeting
>Has a duty for me
>Drops the reward for fulfilling my duty before what I'll actually be doing so I assume the worst
>I will be elevated to the rank of knight and my family provided a stipend from 50 houses, sounding too good to be true
>Ask what I'll be doing
>He sighs and says I'll be the personal bodyguard for his brother's daughter
>Sounds easy but with nobility it never is so I inquire is that all
>My lord is an honest man and drops the full details
>Apparently his brother had raised her as some sort of war maiden
>She wishes to fight and will not be swayed otherwise and will not even setup her own tent further away from the troops
>I'm tasked with making sure she survives the campaign (that could take well over 2 years but my family will begin receiving the stipend immediately)
>I'm also to protect her "honor and dignity" so I'm assume it means to protect her maidenhood
Help /tg/ what do I do?
>>
>>44837563
>implying hong kong and taiwan are met with same restrictions.
>implying brutal communist regime is worse than feminism.
>not in China

Kek.
>>44837582
>How is California "outside of this shit"?

Wrong hemisphere. But close.

>>44837644
To be fair, Chinese gov is the only one barking those rules. Chinese citizens know what VPNs are.
>>
>>44837808
Why would a man at arms be given the duty of protecting a member of the royal family? If she was raised as a war maiden why hasn't she already formed her own retinue to follow her into battle?
>>
>>44837946
Simple, actual knights are on the frontline trampling the peasant levies and I'm a pretty trustworthy guy. As for why she doesn't have her own retinue she doesn't have her own resources, just the family's they're not going to support this but want her protected all the same. We will operate as part of her uncle's retinue, but it will be my personal duty to protect her. Also nobody is going to follow a woman regardless of the high standing of her family. Furthermore, they're not royalty they're nobility there's a difference the common man doesn't understand.
>>
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>>44783907
Loyalty is only worth as much as who you're loyal too. A poor leader deserves no loyalty, a good one deserves your life. Loyalty as a concept was created so people wouldn't desert someone who could make a difference for someone with deeper pockets or bigger sticks.
>>
>>44819363
>>44822325
I never knew how much I needed this until now.
>>
>>44803296
>I think that people who like narrative concepts actually believe in them
>Every single paladin player believes in god
>It's impossible for somebody to like the narrative acetic provided by certain concepts while recognising it is make believe
>they're just naive
Holy fuck you pretentious asswipe. Just leave.
>>
>>44840278
>acetic
aesthetic?
>>
>>44843258
Correct. I blame my phone. Apologies.
>>
>>44840278
>Every single paladin player believes in god
>implying that was even implied
You're entire post comes off as an ass blasted rant m8
>>
>>44844286
>naive views about relationships and women, as well as the reality of what chivalry actually was
>A person believes in views that the character has and the concepts setting portrays
>This concept was then extended to paladins, for surely if the person who plays a idealised chivalrous knight must believe in chivalry as it is portrayed in their fiction a paladin's player must also believe in god by the same logic
Nawh m8. People can write and play things while at the same time noting that it wasn't like that in real life. Acting like those who play or write such characters are somehow lacking in judgement and must believe in what the characters do freakishly pretentious.
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