Stat him, /tg/.

>>44768560
>famous person dies and suddenly it's /tg/ relevant because he was in some movies of some books

>>44768560

Dead

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>>44768560
NO!

THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

>Alan Rickman
>Esteemed actor, great villain in Die Hard
>Also plays a wizard named Snape on the side in a film about witchcraft/wizardry.
>WIZARDs of the Coast owns this game called Magic: The Gathering
>Magic: The Gathering has numerous sets of cards, one of which is Innistrad a plane with gothic horror featuring witches and wizards.
>Innistrad has a card named SNAPcaster Mage which is a Human WIZARD
>SNAPcaster
>Professor SNAPe
>Modern ban in a few days
>Actor who plays Professor SNAPe dies out of nowhere before modern ban
>Snapcaster Mage ban confirmed

>>44768612
>shitpost
>make an unfunny magic joke
Back 2 Reddit!

>>44768560
Holy shit, OP isn't being a Faggot, this isn't bait.
What the hell is going on?

>>44768697
A great man is dead, that's what's going on.

Shit. He still seemed very young and hale. Goddamn.

So, this seems like a good time to talk about how Galaxy Quest is quite possibly a perfect film. Right?

> -10 hp

>>44768697
Curry will be next. He fits the pattern.

>>44768729
The best Star Trek movie.

>>44768560
1 good movie
1 terrible franchise that makes me overly critical of his other work
1 It's still sad he died but ehn

Note that both David Bowie and Alan Rickman died at the age of 69 in January of 2016.

>>44768791
And both of cancer

>>44768769

At least 2 good movies between Die Hard and Dogma.

>>44768791
Don't forget Lemmy

>>44768820
Lemmy was in 2015.

he's still alive

>>44768769
>>44768817
Love Actually is pretty top tier too lads.

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>>44768705

I live in a world where Lemmy, Bowie, and Rickman just died, BUT FUCKING FIDEL CASTRO IS STILL ALIVE. Fuck this, I'm out.

>>44768825
No, he's not.

>>44768849
And he's 20 years older than Bowie and Rickman.

>>44768823
And he was 70.

by Grabthar's hammer...

>>44768826
What are you gonna do now, dip it in yogurt and sprinkle it with chocolate buttons?

>>44768899

By the suns of Worvan...

>>44768560
Fucking hell, 2016, stop killing people

>>44768560
ded/10

>>44768560
Goddamnit.
A fortnight into 2016 and I already hate it

>>44768934
You shall be avenged!

>>44768560
Hp: -10

>>44768899
What a saving!

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People need to stop fucking dying already man. First Angus Scrimm, then Bowie, now this. It's been a hell of a week. I've only just recently come to terms with losing Wes Craven after all these months, and now this shit?

2016 can suck my dick.

>>44769118
I'm sorry, anon, but your life is going to be full of people you look up to dying.

Their time has passed, it's our time now. Just be sure to leave something for the next generation.

guys, lots of famous people died early 2015 as well.

From a random article:
>"With several decades in the film industry, the performer rose to international fame in 2001 in his now iconic role as Professor Snape in the Harry Potter series."
Motherfuckers never heard of Die Hard? Die Hard was worth about 20 Harry Potter movies. Live Free or Die Hard? Not so much.

>>44769298
It's ok, he wasn't in that one.

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>>44768560
Well, it depends on the system, but the Voice of God is usually effectively untouchable.

>>44769298
How can you ignore Dogma?

>>44769298
I always thought his Potter performances were among his weakest.

Plebs gonna pleb, I guess.

>brain the size of a planet

>>44769617
Dogma was post-Harry Potter iirc

I also thought his portrayal of Marvin was the best part of the early-2000's adaptation of Hitchhiker's guide.

>>44769677
>Dogma was post-Harry Potter iirc

Actually, I just googled it and that's bullshit. My bad friend!

>>44768849
Fidel Castro ain't that bad, mang.

Mugabe, on the other hand...

Am I the only one here that remembers Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves?

Guys

What if Elton John is next?

He's 69 this year and an Englishman too.

>>44769800
Depends. Does he have cancer?

>>44768560
Stop shilling Harry Potter.

>>44768849
Pretty sure Castro has been secretly dead for years.

>>44769821
The issue here is they're all keeping quiet about having cancer because they don't want to stress anyone out.

>>44769831
Have you even read the thread?

>>44768560
>Whn I'm 80 years old..."
Kek

>>44769298
>fears being typecasted in Galaxy Quest
>ends his life being almost as typecasted as Spock
oh the irony

>>44768791
THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON YOU STUPID CUNTS!

Ws3 bs3 s3 t3 w0 i3 a1 ld7

>>44768740
And they always come in threes

Size/Type:Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice:5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative:+1
Speed:30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:+5/+14
Attack:Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack:2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach:10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:Improved grab
Special Qualities:Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats:Alertness, Track
Environment:Temperate forests
Organization:Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating:4
Treasure:None
Alignment:Always neutral
Advancement:6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)

>>44769789
"Why a spoon, cousin? Why not a knife?"

It speaks volumes about the quality of /tg/ that nowadays Stat X goes for Goodnight Sweet Prince.

>>44771096
Thank god that the scourge that is stat me threads is finally dead.

>>44769963
>Size/Type:Large Magical Beast
>Hit Dice:5d10+25 (-10 hp)
>Initiative:+1
>Speed:30 ft. (6 squares)
>Armor Class:15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
>Base Attack/Grapple:+5/+14
>Attack:Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
>Full Attack:2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
>Space/Reach:10 ft./5 ft.
>Special Attacks:Improved grab
>Special Qualities:Scent
>Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
>Abilities:Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
>Skills:Listen +8, Spot +8
>Feats:Alertness, Track
>Environment:Temperate forests
>Organization:Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
>Challenge Rating:4
>Treasure:None
>Alignment:Always neutral
>Advancement:6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)
Fixed.

>>44771096
If you dislike the board and the content on it, why do you hang around? Surely, you have better things to do with your time than hang around on an imageboard you hate and bitch.

>>44771295
Pure nostalgia.

Also just because I criticize the way things are going does not mean I'm not being really helpful in a bunch of other threads. So keep your ad hominem.

>>44768849
At least we lost Mandela.

Rickman was a shitty Snape.

Absolutely shitty.

He was nowhere near ugly enough nor was he a bitter cunt that Snape was in the books.

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>>44771713
>implying Snape isn't the best character in Harry Potter, a real human being, and a REAL HERO.

>>44771747

Nope.

He's one ballsy cunt for spying on Voldemort all those years, but in the end, the only reason he did it was because Voldemort killed his waifu.

>>44768729
Yes

>>44771713
>Hire a charismatic actor that can play a sarcastic, scathing bastard and do it with style and charm.
>Problem is, character isn't charismatic, stylish or charming. He's a pathetic, bitter, man-child.
>yfw a part is ruined by hiring an actor that's to good for it.

>>44771713
I haven't seen any harry potter movie until i read like 3 books.
Snape and dumbledore were literally the only characters that seemed ripped straight from the pages of the books.

snape kills dumbledore

>>44771915
"Uncle" Jimmy is your real dad.

>>44771915
Shame Harris died before The Prisoner of Azkaban could get made.

He was fucking perfect and those are the best books anyways.

I'm still busy mourning Pratchett

>>44768740

>Curry is 69

Goodnight, sweet prince of Transylvania.

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>>44768560

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BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER
BY THE SUNS OF WARVAN
YOU SHALL BE...
no?

>>44772051
>>44769800
>Elton John and Tim Curry are both 69-year-old Englishmen

>>44772089
I'd still fug Sigourney Weaver, but not as hard as I'd still fug Susan Sarandon

>>44771855

To be fair though, Alan made the character far better. Much like Oldman made Sirius better, and Michael "DIDJA POOT YER NAME INDA GOBLET O' FIYA?!" Gambon did with Dumbledore.

Really, those movies were made by the British TV actors they hired for the supporting characters.

Plus, in the later books it became pretty clear Rowling was writing Snape with Alan in mind.

>>44768560
is this one of those pictures where the guy, the name and the quote are all different? because I'm fairly sure Rickman doesn't have children

>>44768560
0 int
0 cha
0 wis
0 fucks

>>44769945
Lemmy
Bowie
Rickman

More like Alan Rektman, amirite?

...I'm so sorry, I make terrible jokes to hide the pain

>>44769210
Guess the Reaper is clearing up his yearly backlog. Pretty much any important persona dying in January close in to each other were planned to die in the previous years but were just to darn stubborn to let go.

>>44769945
do retards actually believe this? over 100,000 people die every day.

>>44771793

>Implying that isn't the most traditional of heroic motives

>>44768560
So Dumbledore has been avenged. It was not worth it.

>>44771855
Same problem as Stannis then.

>>44773654
People constantly die

Sometimes people pick 3 recent deaths and say "wow three of em!"

They do this so much that they've convinced themselves that it happens in 3's rather than it simply being "we noticed three deaths out of many"

>>44768574
>plays a literal wizard with a fucking wand
>"oh you just think he's /tg/ related cuz he died boo hoo
7/10 bait.

>>44769183
Are you me? I think I made that exact post in another thread.

>>44768817
Don't forget Galaxy Quest.

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>>44769789
Not at all. All these other peasants gonna peasant, that's all. Not even the cool kind of peasanting tho.

>>44768849
Looking at Cuba's neighbours I have to say that if I had to be exiled to a Caribbean island I would choose Cuba.

>>44769821
he's gay, they get aids instead

>>44768560
-10 HP

>>44768804
Must have spent a lot of time on 4chan

>>44774285
>my movie has a wizard in it
>therefore my movie is a traditional game

0/10

>>44768736
There it is.

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>>44772011
My nigga. . .

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>>44772011
God damn it, man..

>>44774285
/tg/ isn't fucking wizards and wands, if it was we'd be called /ww/

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HEY GUYS. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

It's a matter of fucking time....I literally shouted out "NO" when I read the news on Rickman like an hour ago...I've been asleep all day with my own health...problems....

IT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE YEARS

>>44775179
Nigga, you best take the suggestion that image makes before I brutally murder your ass.

>My husbando Morgan Freeman will probably die before too long
Hold me, /tg/

>>44774443
Cuba is crap. And considering its history, that's kind of an achievement, merely being crap instead of an absolute hellhole.

>>44775643
s-sorry anon.... but it's only a matter of time....Just come to accept the inevitability of entropy and it hurts that little bit less.

>>44775670
All these GOAT people dying, but nobody replacing them... You now realise Jennifer Lawrence will get the same response these actors did in 60 years time.

>>44775670

My money's still on Connery and James Earl Jones.

Maybe even Michael Caine

>>44775759
Yes, but by then she will have 60 more years of acting experience.

>>44775803
Sorry if I rank Hunger Games below shit like Die Hard and Pulp Fiction. It's not the 80's-90's any more. Shit is....different.

>>44775033
I would frequent that board.

>>44775803

This. When Alan Rickman started acting, he wasn't ALAN RICKMAN. It took him decades to cultivate the screen personality he was famous for by the time he died. Even Leo DiCaprio's recent heavy chops are a fairly recent thing in terms of his career.

Besides, Jenifer Lawrence is actually a good actor

>>44775759
>implying you won't be upset when Chris Pratt jobs it when he's 85

>>44775866
I didn't say that, I said it hurts a little bit less to accept the inevitable deaths of people I like/love.

>>44768769
Which of those are Dogma and The Hitchhikers Guild to the Galaxy?

>>44776025
>The Hitchhikers Guild
stolen!

>>44776044
DAMN YOU SPELLING!!!

...Just remember your Towel Anon...

>>44776044
Let us do awesome things with this idea.

>>44776145
It's like a Thieves' Guild, but it's for cheap people with wanderlust

>>44769646
Maybe that was the cancer giving an early warning.

Fuck, I'm a horrible person aren't I?

>>44772321
>Rowling was writing Snape with Alan in mind
Could you give an example?
Genuinely interested.

>The Harry Potter setting has a device that allows one to live indefinitely with no known side effects
>One wizard is hogging it to himself
>After Voldemort fails to steal it, they end up destroying it
>It was his time to go
This is what wizards actually believe.

>Gather all the Deathly Hallows together
>Accidentally complete the quest that has occupied countless legendary wizards for centuries
>Ditch one in a forest, don't bother to use the second, and keep the third for petty pranks
It's like they don't even care.

>Unicorn blood will keep you alive, no matter what, though killing one carries a fell and terrible curse
>Absolutely no one considers the tradeoff worth it
>Everyone would rather let themselves and their loved ones die than just deal with the curse
Wizards are horrible people.

>>44774783
He did die of cancer bro

>>44776636
>Everyone would rather let themselves and their loved ones die than just deal with the curse
No anon that's not outrageous. What's outrageous is that no one actually thought unicorn blood is possible to get without killing the unicorn.
It's like they're fucking retarded.

>>44776406

It's not anything too drastic, and I can't think of a specific example off the top of my head. But the character just slowly gets a little more and more sarcastic and dry as the books go on. He was completely devoid of any charm at first, he just acted like a bully. But by around Order of the Phoenix he's a little smoother. By the time we reach that first scene in Half-Blood Prince where Draco's mom visits him he's become almost entirely Alan Rickman.

>>44776765
Reminder that the average muggleborn wizard is working off of a 4th-grade education, and wizards born in wizard families have less.
They don't even know what stitches are. They don't even know how muggle money works, even though it's the simplest math around.

>>44776858
Oh yeah i always tend to forget about that.

>>44776765

Wizards actually do seem legitimately stupid in the HP world. They're so disconnected from the rest of the world you'd think they were all aliens who just showed up a couple years ago instead of people who have lived alongside Muggles for all of human history.

Aside from what >>44776858 said, I also distinctly remember a moment where that Wizard newspaper had to explain what a gun was, describing it as "a type of metal wand Muggles use to kill each other".

Yet at the same time Hogwarts has modern plumbing and the Ministry uses elevators that at least look conventional. Maybe it's just the British wizards who are really stupid.

>>44776977
>Maybe it's just the British wizards who are really stupid.
Why bring wizards into this?

>>44776977
>>44776858

It's all the inbreeding.

Have you ever seen the Black family tree?

*shudders*

Honestly, those pureblood families like the Malfoys and what would benefit from having muggleborn wizards as wives and husbands to keep the blood strong.

Rowling even said so!

Also: If Voldemort was such a threat and the Minister of Magic had to report to the Prime Minister, why didn't the british government do anything about it?

Hell, why didn't the American Witches and Wizards be all: Hey, this guy? He's bad news and what he does in britain will be bad news, so let's kill him.

I mean, the magical charms in Hogwarts, for example, only effect electric power. It doesn't affected chemical or mechanical and for that matter, It hink we see someone has glowing hands on his watch, so radioactive...

NUKE VOLDEMORT!

>>44776977
>Maybe it's just the British wizards who are really stupid.
>Japanese wizard school (it's called Mahou something)
>all the wizards in Muggle Studies learn to "read the atmosphere" and apply proper suffixes

>>44775837
It's more the material and the side characters than her. The second one was actually good.

>>44771692
of all the forms of shitposting I think the mandela effect is the one that most genuinely makes me wish to kill people.

>>44777132
If Voldemort had ventured into America, he'd get shot down by a Texan wielding a semiautomagic assault staff as soon as he entered US airspace
>>44777158
Joanna is top tier waifu

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>>44777132

>Hell, why didn't the American Witches and Wizards be all: Hey, this guy? He's bad news and what he does in britain will be bad news, so let's kill him.

Seeing the Wizard version of Seal Team 6 repel onto Hogwarts in Book 7 would have been pretty great.

I always liked to think the American wizards were super pragmatic and had no problem adapting Muggle lifestyles to their own when they deemed it fit. Given Rowling confirmed this guy was American, that may very well be the case.

>>44776406
Basically, if you read the first three books, Snape is consistently described as a greasy haired, young looking bully of a man in his twenties. But Book 4 was published after Movie 1 was released, and the description of him completely changes; Rowling found it basically impossible to imagine anyone but Alan Rickman as Snape.

>>44768769
>1 good movie
Dogma, Hitchhiker's Guide, Die Hard, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (okay, that one was kind of meh), Galaxy Quest... plus he played Tybalt in the BBC version of Romeo and Juliet from the 70s, which was probably one of the better modern renditions.

>>44776636
You're the kind of person who'd enjoy reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, I'd say.

It's the closest we'll ever get to a story where someone calls the wizarding world on its bullshit.

>>44777280
Problem is it's basically a few thousand words of someone who read a math textbook once viciously jerking off about how much better his is than Rowling.

>>44777132
>>44777193
>>44777132
>>44777257
A)
This is now my favorite fantasy.
B)
All these americans fantasizing about how america saves the day.
kek

>>44776769
That's interesting, I'll have to look for that next time I go over the books.
Thank you for the well formed observations.

>>44777332
>>44777257
The next Harry Potter book is set in America, so....

>>44777257
Look at that fucker.

He's reading A Brief History Of Time while stirring his teacup with WANDLESS FUCKING MAGIC. You know how hard it is to you use wandless magic? And here he does it offhandedly on something this mundane while reading a goddamn book.

>>44777332
Considering the biggest amount of info we have on other countries in HP comes from the Quidditch book and video game...

>>44777361
Movie, not book. Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find them is about Newt Scamander, magical zoologist and Hogwarts Graduate(Hufflepuff), in 1920s New York City.

What I really want to see is twenty years later, stuff about the Magical Expeditionary Force in WW2.

>>44777373
Silent magic is also supposed to be incredibly hard.
The films kinda threw both of those out the fucking window because reasons.

>>44777426
Newt Scamander was a HUFFLEPUFF!?

But he's a main character, how can he be a hufflepuff?

>>44777373
>Look at that fucker.
>He's reading A Brief History Of Time while stirring his teacup with WANDLESS FUCKING MAGIC. You know how hard it is to you use wandless magic? And here he does it offhandedly on something this mundane while reading a goddamn book.
Player Character confirmed.
Watch him show up and do some crazy shit in the next book or whatever comes out.

>>44777175
I was talking about actual Mandela.

>>44777257
>Seeing the Wizard version of Seal Team 6 repel onto Hogwarts in Book 7 would have been pretty great.
Did you see Catching Fire? That rescue scene that wasn't in the book was operator as fuck

>>44777426
https://www.pottermore.com/news/cursed-child-eighth-harry-potter-story

>>44777447

IIRC Hufflepuff is actually Rowling's favorite House. She's got a soft spot for misfits and dorks.

But that doesn't exactly cast a "heroic" light on the protagonists so she put them in Gryffindor.

She also asserted Merlin (her version of him at least) was a Slytherin. Presumably to address criticisms about how everyone in it was a conniving, sneering rich kid neo-Nazi.

>>44777373
>wandless magic
The movies were pretty inconsistent about it; Movie 4 has Dumbledore doing a bunch of wandless magic before they announce the Triwizard champions, mostly for the sake of showmanship. In Book 1, Ollivander states that a wizard can channel their magical abilities through more than just wands, but wands are the easiest to use by far.

>>44777447
Remember that Hufflepuff is the house associated with hard work, loyalty and determination. And their symbol is a fucking Badger.

>>44777436
There are specific nonverbal spells that are easy to cast silently(See Book 6, Levicorpus) and it's also possible to cast spells that are normally said out loud silently, but this makes them less powerful. In book 5, Madame Pomfrey said that the Death Eater who hit Hermione with a spell during the raid on the Hall of Prophecy would have killed her if he'd said it out loud.

>>44777571
But the question is... Is her version of Merlin Evil?

Because seriously, the lack of good Slytherins is a serious issue. Not one of them stayed for the battle of Hogwarts. Not a single one of them.

They make up a quarter of the entire british wizarding population!

Wait... Was Fudge a slytherin?

>>44777571
>>44777620
Wasn't Merlin the one that suggested killing babies in L'morte d'Arthur? Or however its spelled.

>>44777571
>>44777620
Rowling did a shit job with Slytherin. The only non-Slytherin villain, Pettigrew, was a Gryffindor who displayed anti-Gryffindor character traits (cowardice), and the only villain of unknown House, Umbridge, turned out to be a Slytherin after all.
>>44777577
Yeah because they've got nothing else going for them.

>>44777620

I don't recall anyone mentioning Merlin in a negative light. I get the impression he's pretty lionized in the wizard community.

Rowling's apparent contempt for Slytherin is kind of amusing when you realize their main shtick is they're supposed to be ambitious. There's an implication she values valor, thankless gruntwork, and bookishness over ambition and the desire to stand out from the crowd.

Though that could just be her Britishness.

>>44777577
>and it's also possible to cast spells that are normally said out loud silently, but this makes them less powerful. In book 5, Madame Pomfrey said that the Death Eater who hit Hermione with a spell during the raid on the Hall of Prophecy would have killed her if he'd said it out loud.
We Bleach now.
That spell was even a Getsuga Tenshou.

>>44777701
>Wasn't Merlin the one that suggested killing babies in L'morte d'Arthur? Or however its spelled.
>Le Morte d'Arthur
Yes.
>On Merlin's advice, and reminiscent of Herod's killing of the innocents in scripture, Arthur takes every newborn boy in his kingdom and sends them to sea in a boat. The boat crashes and all but Mordred, who later kills his father, perish. This is mentioned matter-of-factly, with no apparent moral overtone.

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He was in two popular movies ever and now we are sucking his dick?

/tg/, any other day of the year if someone mentions Harry Potter you make fun of it. For good reason, too, because HP is total shit, asspulled by the author and full of plot holes. It's a children's book for a reason; because it takes a mind lacking analytical ability of any sort to be able to enjoy it.

You people are hypocrites. Stop.

>>44777772
So are Houses selected based on what attributes a person exhibits, or what attributes they value?

>>44777791
Le Morte is also the newest of the Arthurian tales.
I'd recommend reading Prose Merlin and History of the Kings of Britain if you want the originals

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>>44777701
>>44777791
That was killing Arthur's bastards, because Arthur was prophecized to be killed by his own son.
It's not like anyone knew who Mordred was, though.
It wasn't just random infanticide.

>>44777819
Both, I guess.
Either that or you're Hal Jordan and you just say "I want to be in this one".

>>44777819
This is debated hotly; it seems to be more on traits they value. If it was on traits they exhibit, Hermione would've been in Ravenclaw and Ron would've been in Hufflepuff(Ron never shows much in the way of bravery but he does spend seven books being loyal to his friends)

Also the Sorting Hat will just let you choose.

>>44777870
Well of course it just lets you choose, the trick is that almost nobody knows that.

I bet that you could get a Muggle-Born in Slytherin if you just told them the trick.

>>44777819

A mix of both, I think.

But remember, the whole point of Harry's sorting scene is you can actually just tell the Hat which House you want to be in. Or at the very least which House you DON'T want to be in.

>>44777816
>everyone was having fun until this faggot showed up

>>44777816
We've had threads for Harry Potter, Animorphs, Game of Thrones and pretty much any book series or franchise that takes place in a setting that is relevant to /tg/'s interests.

So fuck off, we're having fun.

>>44777823
>the originals

Then I hope you meant the Mabinogion!

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>>44768560
obligatory -10hp

>>44768791
The 69 killer! Trump next!

>>44777851
No wonder he let Lancelot literally cuckold him, maybe he thought the curse was gonna pass off to him instead.
Might have made a better story.

>>44777566
>not written by rowling
dropped

>>44777895
>Muggle-Born in Slytherin
He'd either be the most beat up kid in the school or the scariest motherfucker by the end of the year.

>>44777904
Merlin does not appear in the Mabinogion. Arthur and his court (minus the OC donut steel Lancelot, of course) do.

>>44777968
It'd be a Tom Riddle situation, for sure.

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>>44777949

Why is it called the eigth "book" when it is a play

>>44778046
That'd be because Merlin doesn't exist in the middle welsh originals, only a corresponding figure called Myrddin Wyllt who doesn't do a whole lot.

>>44769298
Maybe Die Hard didn't make him famous overseas?

It does specify "international fame".

>>44777902
>So fuck off, we're having fun.

Over someone's death. Yeah. Okay.

>>44778222
>over someone's death
Here's your (You)

>>44778222
>Over someone's death.
Well, where do you think you are?

>>44776769
>>44777259
She also said in at least one interview that she couldn't picture Snape anymore without picturing Alan Rickman, and that was back when she was still writing the book.

Also
>in his twenties
Wasn't he always supposed to have been in school at the same time as Harry's parents? He wouldn't have been in his twenties unless Harry's parents had him when they were like fifteen, and even then he'd have been out of his twenties by halfway through Harry's schooling.

Not to mention
>established professor at Hogwarts
>in his fucking twenties
>when eizards routinely live past 100.

>>44778222
In memorial of someone's death. Not every culture celebrates wakes with solemness and sadness. The Nine Nights of carribean culture is more like a party held by the friends as they share their best memories of the departed.

>>44777571
The thing with Slytherin is it's not the House of Evil Fuckheads, it's the House of Ambition. People who are in Slytherin have DRIVE.

You need ambition to actually do things and make a real difference for good as well as for bad. Harry Potter personally changed the world, and there's a reason he was a near-miss Slytherin.

>>44778344
Honestly, I think the wake as a celebration of the deceased's life is with time becoming MORE common than mopey grieving.

>>44778192
most people don't recognize him in die hard.
but by international fame i think they meant things that even rural indial villagers with free-tv reception will have seen.

>>44768560
time for Galaxy Quest

Cancer is the literal worst. Why can't cancer kill someone that everyone hates?

BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER!
What a savings

>>44777332
>HARRY POTTER CAN'T BE IN MURRRIICCAAAA
Jesus, you Brits sure do whine a lot.

>>44779229
I'm not british.
I never implied that Hary Potter can't be in america. I even said that it's something i'd ike to see. I just found it funny how the immediate first thought of anyone was that america would've saved the day.

>>44776977
...Were wizards not around for the advent of firearms?

Europe used guns in a hell of a lot of wars.

>>44779310
British wizards seem to think it's still the victorian era. They barely understand cars.

>>44769118
Not famous, but my grandfather died two days before Bowie. It's been a nasty January all around.

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NICE THINGS? NOT IN 2016. BEND OVER AND PREPARE FOR A BONING.

Natalie Cole
David Bowie
Alan Rickman
Lemmy Kilmeister
Pat Harrington Jr.
Otis Clay
Angus Scrimm
Brian Bedford

>>44779350
Guns significantly predate Queen Victoria. The first major military European victory using firearms occurred 60 years before the birth of fucking Shakespeare.

There shouldn't be a single wizard in Europe who doesn't know what a gun is.

>>44779297
Despite it being obviously sarcastic? I thought you Brits were supposed to be good at funny things.

Or is British humor, sorry, "humour" just a cultural excuse for lacking it?

BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER

>>44779310
>>44779350
Hermione is basically the only wizard I could see having a good time as things progress.
There are other muggleborns, but Dean Thomas, for example, doesn't read everything he can get his hands on.
She and Dumbledore were also apparently the only people who knew a Bible quote when they saw one.

>>44779415
No one listens to Binns in History of Magic, which is apparently just about magic history.
When muggle children are learning about the first major military European victory using firearms, Wizard children are ignoring the guy talking about giants.

>>44768736
This is the fucking stupidest meme. You are a piece of human garbage that is trying to find acceptance by spouting off dribble that you've seen give other people responses, and you are hoping for the same. You are trash. You contribute nothing. You might as well be dead.

>>44779504
Because he is a ghost and his voice literally boring enough to lull you to sleep. It's not an exaggeration, the only non-ravenclaw who can keep their eyes open in that class is Hermione Granger.

>>44779570
Yeah but it's still just magic history. Giants, goblins, Merlin.

>>44768747
>yfw Galaxy Quest 2
>it's about a JJ Abrams' style reboot

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>>44779425
I'm german though.
Which explains why i didn't get the humor.

>>44779609
Because that's Wizard History.

You want to learn anything about Muggle history, science, economics, etc, you take Muggle Studies in your Third Year.

>>44779635
My eyeballs could not take that much lens flare.

>>44779689
>taking muggle studies
MJW detected

>>44779725
Hey man, Muggle Studies is a perfectly legitimate subject. What else would I take, Divination? Ancient Runes? Those are worth nothing as credentials, believe you me.

>>44769789
Yeah, but it wasn't that good. Most people remember it because of that stupid Bryan Adams song
>tfw it was in the UK charts for 16 weeks
>>44769963
Stat him, not his dick, you idiot.
>>44772011
Damn it.
>>44772089
Sheeeeeeiiiiiiit, Weaver's still got it.
>>44777426
Well, Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them was the name of a tie-in book Rowling wrote for Comic Relief. It was a pretty fun read, with Harry and Ron writing things in the margins, with Hermione chastising them both for spoiling books... by writing down said chastisements in the margins.
>>44778411
Not just wakes. The Remembrance Sunday cenotaph in London was always a very solemn affair, but with younger soldiers and their families attending, it's actually quite lively afterwards, with a nice chummy solidarity afterwards

>>44779769
>ancient runes
Tell that to codecracking, goblin-dealing, veela-fucking Bill.
>diviniation
Divination isn't real magic. It isn't even "soft" magic. All the other magical studies laugh at it.

>>44779815
Bill's job is so fucking specialized, it's not funny. Plus it's only one of the many specialized courses you need, like Care of Magical Creatures.

Hell, I'd say being a Healer would be easier. You just need an O in all your core subjects, so just drop all electives and focus on those.

>>44779814
>it wasn't that good
No, but Rickman stole every fucking scene he was in, just by being a hammy bastard who was obviously having a good old time getting payed to play an over the top snidely whiplash style villain.

>>44779815
>Divination isn't real magic. It isn't even "soft" magic. All the other magical studies laugh at it.

>The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies....

Seems pretty fucking real to me.

>>44779928
You mean the "prophecy" that was so conveniently destroyed in the battle in the Department of Mysteries? Go back to /x/

>>44779888
>Hermione could have gone into a STEM career and made tons of gold
>instead becomes a social activist
Every fucking time.

>>44779397
Morgan Freeman.
Tim Allen.
Patrick Stewart
Ian McKellen

Are next.

>>44779661
But Germans are better than Brits in every way.

And I say this as an American who somehow bullshitted his way into some German rave party.

>>44779908
Oh, for sure, and I ate it up because the movies came out when I was in High School and when I was deathly afraid of our hardass Science teacher.

I don't think he even disliked me, but the whole "seemingly impossible to please, draconian teacher" resonated.

I was going through a lot of shit too for a while, so I think that clicked too. Harry had bigger things to worry about that his lab work, and I did too.

>>44780053
>But Germans are better than Brits in every way.

Here is your (You). My guess is you're a Descendent of a German and are biased. But Brits have some great actors, bands, musicians.

>>44780053
I just said that i didn't get that those posts were apparently self ironic and semi sarcastic.

I thought no one could tell what was sarcasm and what wasn't from text alone.
But maybe i just have ass-burgers.

>>44780072
I was talking about Prince of Thieves, anon.
Alan Rickman plays the Sheriff of Nottingham, and just DEVOURS every bit of scenery he can get his hands on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si1xSjZ5WmI

>>44780072
>>44780126
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0Sm0kl6dYE

>>44777332
>All these americans fantasizing about how america saves the day.
Well do realize that these are not only Wizards, but AMERICAN Wizards, so take your normal "NO SENSE OF RIGHT OR WRONG" and cross it with "WHATEVER, I DO WHAT I WANT!"

>>44777776
>We Bleach now.
>That spell was even a Getsuga Tenshou.
BUT WHERE WAS THE CHEESY 80'S MUSIC?!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lsn2tT5yTc

>>44777816
Fuck you, I'm morning Marvin the Paranoid Metatron!

>>44769905

Did he have military service? Should have conscript stays of he didn't.

>>44777280
>Reading anything by Captain Cryonics
>Muh positivism
If I knew where he lived in this city, I'd have killed him already.

>>44777132
>Why not just nuke the fucker?

Watch Hunter x Hunter for a reason why it's not as simple as you make it out to be but still definitely a valid last-resort measure

>>44781227
What's wrong with Yudkowsky aside from his needlessly aggressive way of debating and his tendency to think in patterns that make him miss obvious solutions, go nowhere or make him just flat out conclude impossibilities? As long as his ideas and theorems are taken with several grains of salt he has some good ideas.

>>44781710
He's an incredibly smug and obnoxious douchebag.
The funniest part of MoR is that Yud REPEATEDLY fails to apply basic Bayesian reasoning by insisting on sticking to his obviously flawed priors.

>>44769118

>Angus Scrimm

Mr. Ambrose?

>>44780665
NOW YOU FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

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>>44780665
IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOME ACTION

>>44768849
who gives a shit about castro, how the fuck is he at the top of your list of bad dudes? what year do you think it is anon? It's 2016. Your family and friends are all dead.

>>44783182
>what year do you think it is anon? It's 2016.
Yes, it is the current year.
>Your family and friends are all dead.
Do you need to talk about your problems grieving, anon?

>>44769078
>>44774510
>>44768736
>>44777942

He died of cancer. I'd be more inclined to say cause of death was Con 0 rather than -10hp.

Strength 0
Dexterity 0
Constitution 0
Intelligence 0
Wisdom 0
Charisma 0

:(

>>44768560
...But OP Rickman never said that.

http://quotefail.com/content/alan-rickman-when-im-80-years-old-and-sitting-my-rocking

>>44783852
Only Constitution 0, Anonymous.
Inanimate objects do not have strength, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, or charisma values.

>>44776044
>>44776145
>>44776201
So, like, the Traveller's Aid Society, from Traveller, created way back in the 70s?

But with more towels, yeah.

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>>44769298
>Die Hard was worth about 20 Harry Potter movies

>when I'm 80 years old
Well, confirmed for not a seer.

>>44768849
>Fidel Castro
Literally the only sane man.

>>44786078
Are those adjusted values? I assume they are, I just don't see a notation.

>>44780086
He wouldn't need to be descended from a German, he could also be descended from:
An Indian
An Irishmen
A Scot
A Frenchman
A Chinese Person

Or literally any of the hundred countries Britain's pissed off in its long history of being an overbearing cunt.

Alternatively, his exposure to the two cultures may have simply left him with a more favorable impression, because not everything is a multi-generational grudge match, you stuck up Anglo fuck.

Descended from Irish and Scot here, so I can't help joining a multi-generational grudge match, but maybe the other guy avoided it.

>>44779977
>Destroyed in the Department of Mysteries
The giant fucking hallway of prophecies?

Or how basically everything Trelawney 'saw' was right, she just didn't know what it meant?

The problem isn't that Divination doesn't work, it's that symbols are an inherently tricky medium to process. If I see an image of a Centaur, is it a man on horseback, a horse animagus, some sort of brilliant archer because of the zodialogical sign Sagittarius, or is it just a fucking centaur? I can't be sure in the Harry Potter world.

But by comparison, they were using relatively imprecise methods, tea leaves and crystal balls, general gazing. It would be interesting to see how Tarot, which uses direct questions and a series of cards with defined meanings, would work in-universe.

I suspect there's a list somewhere of powerful Diviners, and they're banned from certain venues and activities, or listened to in certain circles.

Oh god.

There's a chance that fashion choices and music reviews are written by diviners, so it's entirely possible for some wizard in the Harry Potter universe to be the ultimate music hipster: He liked the band before their first single's varied potential stream was coalesced into its present form, they were potentially more experimental back then.

>>44783110
>>44783153
Be the focus of attention...

>>44787472
Oh god you fucking autist that entire chain of posts was in-universe roleplay, no humans with any drop of sense in HP except those who have seen real prophecies (which are very few) think divination actually works. Centaurs do, but they're also not human.

>>44777870
I'm guessing part of the reason house Slytherin is so evil is that only the evil kids ever want to be in it. Wizards who could make it in more than one house would never pick Slytherin unless they're also nazis. And the hat is patching up the deficit with thugs like Grabbe and Goyle, who have neither ambition nor cunning but are hardcore blood purists.

>>44789374
If I were writing it, Slytherin would be a glorious beacon of hope in the past. And because people bestow power upon whom they trust, and power brings out the worst in us, or attracts the worst of us, it decayed - slowly, over the Centuries. This takes generations, but no one ever notices. Things like the sorting hat adjust with the times, and eventually the cauldron boils over. By then it is established firmly and going up against Slytherin means going up against HWMNBN. And no one is that foolish, better just leave things as they have seemingly always been and worry about bigger problems than frathouse socialization.

>>44789374
Hufflepuff is for the kids who have nothing going for them. Their entire gimmick is hard work, which in fiction terms means they're no one special but gosh darn it they try.
They're so boring Rowling didn't even bother to show their common room in-story.

>>44789442
>and worry about bigger problems than frathouse socialization.
It's bigger than that, though.
Every wizard in Britain went through Hogwarts. 25% of the adult wizard population spent their formative years as evil conniving racist dicks surrounded by evil conniving racist dicks, not to mention shit seems to run in families. The Patil twins and Sirius Black are the only time we hear about family members split among houses, and they're clearly not the norm. Malfoys are Slytherins, Weasleys are Gryffindor, even though Percy was clearly Slytherin material.
And "frathouse" is misleading, because this isn't the Greek system in unis, there are no God Damn Independents. It's a British boarding school: if you're in the school, you're in a house.

>>44789564
>even though Percy was clearly Slytherin material.

I always saw Percy as an example of why it's okay to break the rules sometimes. Like he's so lawful good that he facilitates evil unintentionally through inaction.

>>44789595
>lawful good
No, he's lawful netural. He never goes against his superiors until the final battle when it's obvious Voldemort's taken over the gubmint.
Hermione was always the "sometimes it's okay to break rules" character, with Ron as the "sometimes it's okay to follow the rules" counterpoint.

>>44768574

/thread

4chan is the new reddit.

>>44768849
please, Castro isn't even close as bad as some others.

The fact that Andy Dick is still alive perplexes me to no end, and when he dies, I will - quite literary - travel to his grave so I can dance on it and piss on his tombstone. He is scum.

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>>44772011
oh

oooh

ooh fuck I had forgotten
and now I remember

fuuuuuuuck

>>44789502
Hufflepuff's whole thing is Determination and Loyalty. Neville and Ron are token Hufflepuffs who happened to end up in Gryffindor.

>>44790312
Probably because Ron's a Weasley, therefore Gryffindor, and Neville's got the potential for true heroism.

>>44787472
Oh look, it's another american Celtaboo trying desperately to get "Irish/Scot cred" by talking about how much he hate the British.
Scotland voted to STAY in the UK recently, buddy. With an 85% turnout.
Ireland? The IRA spend more time killing OTHER IRISHMEN than they do fighting the British.
So fuck the hell off.

>>44790704
>heroism is only allowed in one house
but that's wrong

>>44768849

Of all the villains that still draw breath, you pick Castro's irrelevant ass to be annoyed about?

>>44768560
--JPEG image
--135KB
--720x698
--Photograph of Alan Rickman, with a glurge quote, attributed to him.
--Clumsy attempt at irony: the quote is a prediction of what Rickman will be doing when he's 80. Rickman, however, just recently died at the age of 69.

>>44790704
Draco Malfoy had the potential for hard work, as evidenced by him fixing that vanishing cabinet in book 6, but that doesn't mean he belonged in Hufflepuff.
Dumbledore probably told the Hat to sort all the protagonists in the same house, because he was crazy.

>>44772089

Honestly, much as I loved Ripley, seeing Weaver as a blonde bimbo was a refreshing change of pace.

>>44791497
Pulled it off of Google Images in the space of 5 seconds.

If you've got a better picture, by all means, share.

>>44791550
No, he got in Slytherin because he wanted to be in Slytherin.

Ron wanted to be in Gryffindor.

Neville wanted to be in Hufflepuff, but at the time he wasn't yet DETERMINED, so the hat put him in Gryffindor just because, probably to help even out house numbers.

Neville Longbottom: So much of a mook at the beginning that he wasn't even fit for Hufflepuff.

>>44791606
You are a failure as OP, and you should feel bad.

Bring Rickman back to life so he can die again and we can have a real farewell thread.
Like now!

>>44783182
It's mostly the irony that since the embargo castro has outlived several presidents.

>>44768574
we did have bowie stat me threads

>>44768612
Xcept snapcaster is a chink and a nigger.... unless JoKing Roller suddenly reveals him to also be black in her newest play or something

HP: 0

>>44787472
To be honest, I'm surprised that anyone on the planet has a positive opinion of Britain, considering we've spent the past few centuries being douches to as many people as possible.

It's a wonder Britain isn't in a constant state of siege by the rest of the world. In fact, that'd probably make us happier. We'd have something to complain about, we'd have lot's of rationing queues, and we could be as nasty to foreigners as we wanted.

Get on it, world.

>>44774165
Yeah, but they're actually people we are familiar with, not "Tom Davis, the accountant from Florida"

>>44792078
Naw, man. As long as everyone believes it's the Yanks doing it, you're cosy.

>>44791550
While I can kind of sort of understand Dumbledore's reasoning behind a lot of his actions with regard to Harry (even if it does paint him as a manipulative dick) his actions on every other front do seem to convey the idea he's absolutely nuts.

>>44792115
You know Dumbledore's not 100% mentally sound, right?

Considering all the trauma he's gone through, he should be a wreck. You know when he tells Harry about seeing himself with a pair of socks in the Mirror of Erised? He was really seeing his dead family.

The dude's father went to jail after a bunch of muggle boys broke his sister's magic, and then his mother was accidentally killed by his sister. He found a boy he had a crush on and made world domination plans with him, then may have or may not have accidentally killed his sister in a fight with that same boy and his brother.

Young Albus Dumbledore was a fool who didn't want to have any responsibility.

Adult Albus Dumbledore was a broken wreck of a man who held off for years before fighting Gellert Grindelwald, and so is responsible for all the deaths Grindelwald caused.

Old Albus Dumbledore has to deal with all this shit, AND Voldemort and Harry.

>>44791065
>Ireland? The IRA spend more time killing OTHER IRISHMEN than they do fighting the British.

That's leftists for you.

>>44792196
and despite all that he was still less likely than all the british MPs of his era to be a child-molester.

>>44768560
https://youtu.be/ee925OTFBCA?t=14s

>>44792314
That story is on the news right now.

Is this something Britain is really bad for, for some reason? Or doe sit happen everywhere, and we're simply one of the few countries it ever comes to light?

>>44780023
Its Ian McKellen.

3 English Wizards

>>44791638
I feel the hat has some sort of idea of a persons path in life. A sort of precognition that helps it know what path is best for the person. It puts people in houses they will be best at, not just at the sorting but throughout their school career.

>>44768632
>back 2 X
>you are the true unfunny

>>44777528
Edgy

>>44791638
Neville was probably one of the people that had their values judged more than their merits and desires.

Think about it, you're Neville Longbottom. Your parents are blathering messes because they were brave and stood up to one of the most terrifying names in modern wizardry just because they thought that was the right thing to do. You don't consider them stupid for doing this, you consider them godamn heroes. You now live with your strict-but-fair grandmother, who has quite the forceful personality herself and doesn't take shit from anybody. Every single adult role model in your life is brave and strong and you hate yourself because you're a fuckup and it's a mystery how you even got into Hogwarts.

But you do get in. And what's the thing you want most? To be like all the other people in your life: Brave and Strong and able to stand up for the shit you believe in with unflinching determination. Even if you won't admit this to yourself, the sorting hat still sees and knows. It puts you in Gryffindor, where you will thrive and learn and get what you really want.

You're Neville Longbottom, and literally everything is setting you up to be a hero.

>>44792671
I would have loved that book series.

Kid gets the snot knocked out of him all the way through school but scoring little victories that mean a lot to him even if nobody else even notices. Everyone else has the epic adventurers whilst you get good at what you enjoy and find quite pleasure in the small things.

Then shit gets real. In the end they come after your family, they come into your home, they torment your friends, they hunt you down and they find you alone in the Dark Forest. But they don't come out of that forest, only you do. Shaking with rage and hands bright red.

They send real Death Eaters after you next. They die. Eventually. And now you have a list of names and places.

By the time they find the top Death Eaters the bodies look like chunky salsa and Voldamort has left the country.

Fuck prophesies, fuck fate and destiny, fuck the law and its borders and fuck upholding the masquerade.

Voldermort can't die without finding the horecruxes? That's fine. A steel box on the sea bed will make a fitting prison.

>>44792395
Well, it turned out every Catholic church in Belgium was in some way involved in the pedo coverups, so... bit of both?

>>44793054
Germany here. Former pope's brother ran rape school.

>>44792944
>Fuck prophesies, fuck fate and destiny, fuck the law and its borders and fuck upholding the masquerade.
Reminder that the prophecy was about both Neville and Harry and it was up to who manned up first.

>>44792944
The Half-blood prince about to get MEDIEVAL on your ass fool!

>>44793106
>Germany here. Former pope's brother ran rape school.
That would explain the stepping down...

>>44768560
>>44790223
>>44792041
Now whenever I see a "stat me" thread I know that person just died.

What did Alan Rickman do, again?

>>44793304
Hans Gruber

>>44792944
Neville was the only other child that the prophecy could have referred to and because of the way prophecies work both he and Harry had the capability to fulfill it. If Voldemort had chosen differently it would have been Neville Longbottom who survived as the Boy Who Lived, and it would be Neville Longbottom who grew into the hero that beat Voldemort for good.

>>44793392
Yeah, but nobody would have bought a British children's fantasy novel called Neville Longbottom. Too whimsical.

So Rawlings would have had to give the guy a different name.

But how can we know that this isn't exactly what happened? Harry might really be Neville.

>>44793352
That's really not much of a career compared to Bowie.

>>44791087
Snape isn't a hero, anon. He's a coward who couldn't get over the fact that his waifu isn't into racists.

>>44775179
Don't you fuckin' dare. I swear to god, if Patrick and/or Ian go this year, I'm fucking going with them.

>>44794287
And played an important part in beating the BBEG

>>44790704
>Only Gryphindors can be heroes.
What is, Luna Lovegood?

these threads need to burn