>First Thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/44674890/
DATE: Saturday, June 29th, 1985
TIME: 8:58 AM
Boris Borovich sprints across the finish line. He begins celebrating.
"Ha! Brock Eagleson, you have failed! Now the president's daughter is mine to wed by right of conquest!"
Brock Eagleson approaches Boris calmly at an even pace. When he draws close enough, he punches Boris hard with his robotic hand. Teeth fly everywhere and Boris falls to the ground.
"What is this? I challenged you to...*cough*...a fair race!"
"You forgot one thing, you commie freak." Brock lights a cigarette as one of his attractive female assistants wraps him in an American flag towel.
"These colors don't run."
Brock stomps downwards at the "camera", which cuts to black.
>Hey kids! You're tooooooon'd in to Toon Planet! Coming up next, it's Mysteries of Science!
>Currently ranked THIRD among cartoon blocks
>Current BUX: $78,000
>First place CartoonTV continues to dominate ratings based mostly on its 9-10 block of a Japanese import show, Great Greatest Robot Tiger
>Second place Toon Platoon is currently airing a kid-friendly variety show
>You have conceded the 9-10 hour and are running mandated educational programming in the 9:00 slot. The current known schedule is as follows:
8:00-8:30: Spook Hunters, a relatively spoopy show that is making some waves with critics for prominently featuring a female co-protagonist. You are pushing merchandising hard for this program, leaning on a "collect 'em all" mentality.
8:30-9:00: Brock Eagleson, the Red Dead-er. An anti-Soviet propaganda cartoon featuring a lot of violence and patriotic messages. This is getting you subsidy money from the government.
9:00-9:30: Mysteries of Science, an educational program. You are forced to air some sort of educational programming to comply with state regulations.
The camera zooms in on a huge metal vault door, which slowly spins and unlocks, releasing a torrent of gratuitous dry ice fog.
Professor Xanadu: Well good morning, children! Welcome to another mysterious episode of Mysteries of Science. Hope everyone is having a terrific morning and eating a healthy breakfast!
>How does Mysteries of Science hope to compete?
>CELEBRITY GUESTS. This will cost you a little extra money but might gimmick hard enough to keep kids from changing the channel (++Viewers, -$5,000)
>LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. This will help kids feel more involved in the show by featuring volunteers and interviews with actual children (+Viewers)
>USE OLD GOVERNMENT FOOTAGE. Repurposing old educational films produced by the government could be used as a cost-saving measure, getting you a little money back on the initial $15,000 put into the show, but it won't really affect viewership one way or the other (+$3,000)
The Professor works his way over to the Learn-O-Scope, where he straps on an exaggerated pair of goggles.
"Well, today we're going to learning a little something from the Learn-O-Scope kids. Let's see what it has in store...
Black and white footage begins playing. The text "SURVIVING FALLOUT" plays on a titlecard. An announcer begins voicing over.
"As the Triumvirate continues to consolidate power in Asia and the Middle East, American citizens want to know what they can do to protect themselves from the dangers of nuclear fallout."
A map shows The United States of the Americas outlined in blue, along with the Soviet Union, China, and India outlined in red.
"The most important factor to remember is that the USA controls the skies above, which means that any inbound missiles are likely to be caught in the Star Net before they can reach the mainland. The Liberation of Cuba also means that missiles have to travel further before they can reach you and me here at home. But what if the worst were to happen?"
The announcer continues with an explanation of how to properly put on a radiation suit, where to tune on the radio for directions from FEMA, how long to wait before safely accessing seeds from Germination Vaults, and to stay away from others if you've been exposed to a nuclear explosion. The announcer emphasizes that you are doomed if you are exposed directly to a nuclear explosion, and that endangering your peers is selfish and unpatriotic.
>The show cuts to a commercial. What is being advertised?
>SUGARY CEREAL (+$5,000)
>BROCK EAGLESON VIDEO GAME (+MERCH)
>A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT about smoking (+$2,000, +PATRIOTISM)
>>A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT about smoking (+$2,000, +PATRIOTISM)
Three children are playing on a playground. They are cracking open glass bottles of soda to drink.
Child 1: Remember to save your caps so's your parents can get a discount on their smokes!
Child 2: My parents don't smoke...
Child 3: What?? Ain't they citizens?
Child 2: Yeah...
Child 1: Not very good ones I expect!
A bottle of Eagle Pop is displayed, surrounded by several bottle caps. A pack of Virginia Slims sits opened nearby.
Announcer: Remember kids, every pack of cigarettes your parents smoke is grown right here on American soil, and every dollar spent goes to supporting American programs. Save your Eagle Pop caps and your parents can save on each and every pack purchased. (faster) Content paid for by the Phillip Morris Company, a division of the US Department of Health and Human Services)
The camera proceeds back in Professor Xanadu's vault, where he looks up and acts surprised.
Xanadu: Oh goodness, you're back children! I hope everybody got up and did their morning stretches during that commercial break! Now, before we go...
>What happens at the end of each show?
>A SONG ABOUT SCIENCE (Base option, no modifiers)
>A VIEWER GIVEAWAY (+Viewers, -$2,000)
>A LETTER FROM A SCIENTIST (+Education)
Xanadu: Now, before we go, it's time again for our weekly Viewer Giveaway!
The Professor shuffles through a comically large sack of letters.
Xanadu: Now we're received all your letters, and we've chosen this week's winner! Joshua Grant from Brighton, Michigan, you win a telescope of your very own, and a trip to NASA offices in Florida! Remember to send us your letters, kids, you can't win if you don't play!
>What's on next? It's 9:30.
>Current BUX: $81,000
>CartoonTV is still airing Great Greatest Robot Tiger, so this slot is competitive
>You maintain the option to air the popular anime Boostcore Maximum, which you're reasonably sure will be a success.
>You have fulfilled your educational obligations, but are welcome to air additional educational programming
>You have already claimed your bonus money from the government for airing patriotic programming, but are welcome to air additional patriotic shows.
>BOOSTCORE MAXIMUM (-$30,000, +WEEBSHIT)
>A FAMILY FRIENDLY show about MERCHANDISE WHORING (-$25,000)
>An EDGY show about SPACE (-$20,000; EDGY shows are popular with children but tend to upset overbearing parents)
>A SPOOPY show about PATRIOTISM (-$25,000, +PATRIOTISM)
Up next: Dead Ted 'n Me
When he found an old cavalry saber in his attic, Mark had no idea that he was holding a sword haunted by the ghost of Theodore Roosevelt. Teddy and Mark become fast friends, but nobody can see or hear Teddy except the owner of the saber. What's worse, Teddy clues Mark in to the fact that his elementary school faculty are part of a dangerous foreign cult, and that supernatural threats of all sorts threaten his hometown.
>What's today's episode?
>Episode 7, "Love 'em and Leave 'em" (+FEMALE AUDIENCE)
>Episode 7, "Nothing Bully about Bullies" (+FAMILY FRIENDLY)
>Episode 7, "Great Caesar's Ghost!" (+MERCHWHORING)
>Epsode 7, "Washington's Teeth" (+PATRIOTISM)
Episode 7, "Love 'em and Leave 'em!"
Mark is in a panic because the school dance is approaching and he doesn't know who to ask. Teddy is in a panic because he's not sure which of his wives he should ask to the Danse Macabre. Mark doesn't want to invite anyone because girls are gross, but Teddy gives him a rousing speech about how boys and girls need to get along so that there can be new generations of Americans.
>Mark invites a black girl in his class to the dance (++PROGRESSIVE, -PATRIOTISM)
>Mark invites a hot (white) middle school girl to the dance (+MALE VIEWERS)
>Marl invites the poorest girl in class to the dance (+PROGRESSIVE)
>Teddy invites his foxy first wife to the Danse (+SEXY)
>Teddy invites his second wife and First Lady to the Danse (+PATRIOTISM)
With Teddy's encouragement, Mark is able to perform a totally sick, extra-rad skateboard jump in front of Cindy's middle school, thoroughly impressing her and giving him the courage to ask her to the dance. Meanwhile, Teddy manages to avoid his love-crazed first wife Alice long enough to secure Edith Roosevelt's accompaniment to the annual Danse Macabre, which is being held in the same space as the elementary school, at the same time, and which only Mark will be able to see.
>Advertise SPOOK HUNTERS TOYS (++MERCH)
>Advertise new episodes of BROCK EAGLESON (+VIEWERS)
>Advertise SUGARY CEREALS (+$5,000)
Saturdays on Toon Planet...
>A motorcycle engine revs
The Tree of Liberty is watered...
>An eagle shrieks
With the blood of Brock's enemies!
Brock Eagleson crushes two Russians skulls together.
Brock Eagleson is shown vaulting into the driver's seat of Dad's Classic Car before spinning out and ramping over a collapsing bridge.
Brock Eagleson is shown garroting a female KGB agent.
And it's all leading up...
A voice says "Brock..." Brock looks up, shocked.
To one big season finale!
BROCK EAGLESON, THE RED DEAD-ER!
When the show returns, Mark is trying to put the moves on Cindy, but is constantly distracted by the fact that ghosts in various stages of decomposition and agitation are flying through people and walls around him. He and Cindy are just getting into a nice respectable slow-dance when Teddy begins bothering Mark excessively. He's in a panic, Dagnabit, and all that crap about future generations of Americans is going to have to wait.
>What's the problem?
>A Chinese hungry ghost has spiked the punch...WITH DEATH (+SEXY)
>Rasputin's Ghost has bewitched the band into playing exceptionally rocking songs...OF DEATH (+SPOOPY)
>The philandering ghost of the traitor John Wilkes Booth is trying to put the moves on Edith Roosevelt (+TRADITIONALISM)
Mark makes lame excuses to take Cindy's leave momentarily, and a distraught Teddy shows Mark that John Wilkes Booth, that no-good high-fallutin' president-shootin' snake, is plying fair Edith with wine and whimsy. While Teddy makes an emotional appeal to Edith on the values of the American family unit and its sanctity, even in the afterlife, Mark sneaks around behind John Wilkes Booth and stabs him with the cavalry saber, destroying his soul forever, as is the fate of all metaphysical enemies of the state. "Sic semper proditores," Teddy says, and brushes Mark off when he asks him what that means. Mark has just enough time to dance with Cindy, who gives him a chaste and appropriate kiss on the cheek. Mark blushes as Teddy ribs him good-naturedly.
>SCORE SO FAR
DATE: Saturday, July 20th, 1985
Time: 10:00 AM
>One more hour of programming to decide.
>CartoonTV is airing some low-budget schlock about spaceships
>Toon Platoon is airing Brave Bold Men, a show about military history. It's their strongest performer.
>What to play?
>BOOSTCORE MAXIMUM (-$30,000, +WEEBSHIT, +VIEWERS)
>A FAMILY FRIENDLY show about ADVENTURE (+KIDS 1-10, +MERCH, -$20,000)
>A JAPANESE show about ROBOTS (-$20,000, +WEEBSHIT, +VIEWERS)
>A SUBVERSIVE show about PATRIOTISM (-$20,000, -TRADITIONALISM, +PATRIOTISM, +PROGRESSIVE)
>I'm actually going to wrap for the day here. I'm going to try and run again either tomorrow or Friday, a little later in the afternoon/evening. Ideally we'll be able to run in such a way that we go through an entire block of programming during the week and can then have a megathread on Saturdays where more long-term decisions are made and accumulated bonuses are spent.
>Criticism/Ideas are always welcome of course. I actually like that everybody is so weighted towards PATRIOTISM in this early setup portion of the quest since that's designed to be sort of the cultural baseline. There will definitely be opportunities in the future to buck cultural trends or even contribute to the formation of new ideas and movements.
I'm actually sort of sadistically hoping the votes never work it into the lineup and then it just never comes to the States at all since you guys sat on an exclusive option without doing anything with it and all the hype died.
given thread 1 only happened at night a few days ago and the morning and night audiences differ greatly, you have a player disconnect. Also I just got off work so yelling at them now is counter productive.
I don't mean to sound upset. It really won't be the end of the world if the players decide against using the show, but it is sort of an easy boost in viewers and the more popular a show is, obviously the more chance for Adbux
This is kind of a fun adventure.
Hoping for gratuitous violence and patriotism warping the minds of our youth and becoming the official overlord tv station of patriotism and parent hate for years to come.
this might be too fun