>fantasy RPG Setting >DM: The town guard exclaims: "Jesus

>>44701583
>implying real life isn't a low-fantasy campaign

You NPCs are great, I swear.

>>44701583
>fantasy RPG Setting
>NPCs speak English

>manypeoplelivewithautismscreencap.jpg

>>44701583
Its generally accepted that yes, you can bullshit some other curses, but its piss poor to stop at "the exact same language but different phrases" without going whole hog.

So, to make up for it being a different culture, you can pretend its something that makes sense in game translated to what you are familiar with. You know, because thats what this board is all about. Playing pretend.

>>44701583
To be fair, drinking champagne is just as bad as that exclamation.

I quite like the fairly generic "By the gods!" and "Gods!" as an alternative in your average D&D setting.

>>44701672
>keep forgetting the name of the imperial bug centaurs who rule the continent.
> Open the table to the players to make a name for them
>the monk lands on "almange" (French for German)
>they speak dutch

>>44701923
>also everyone speaks English
>also the word "horse" refers to the riding reptile that people use to pull carte and stuff

>fantasy RPG setting
>DM: Against the north wall of this room, there is a vending machine containing sandwiches and-
>That Guy: NOOOOOOO THIS ISN'T EARTH SO THERE WAS NO EARL OF SANDWICH YOU CAN'T CALL THEM THAT!!!

>Jesus Christ is a well known person in the setting
>Famous for surprising/shocking people
>Basically just a wandering hobo with a fetish for pranks and antisocial behavior
>It's now a thing to shout "Jesus Christ" when surprised or horrified by something

>>44702357
I'd find the vending machine a little more remarkable than that, unless you're running one of those kitchen-sink style settings. I secretly love those kinds of things. There's something pleasingly meta about the unabashed ridiculousness of there being a fully functional vending machine in the basement of a dungeon.

>>44701583
You try DMing then. It's hard to maintain different ways of speaking for different characters, and sometimes you slip up.

>>44701583
In any given fantasy setting, the characters are most likely on a world with no historical connection to Earth, and thus no linguistic connection. Everything the characters say is translated for the players' sake so you don't need to learn a new language to play. This includes invective; "Jesus Christ" accurately conveys the guard's level of shock/astonishment, replacing something the guard would actually say in another language.

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>>44701672

>he's actually just calling his friend, Jesus Christ, the town guide since he wants you to have a good time and know where things are.

>>44701923
It's "allemand", from alemani. Not almange.

>>44701583
Surely some guys tasked with keeping the peace is a reasonable thing to have in a town?

>>44703158
Who /киpиллицa/ here?

>>44701583
>fantasy
>Jesus Christ
makes sense

>>44706890
>implying that Christ did not bring salvation to everyone, everywhere, simultaneously (just like Santa)

>>44701870

This. Though I'm edgy and since the Gods are all cosmic entities like planets; people instead say 'By the Bodies!", such as the stellar bodies.

>>44706890
Godless heathen detected

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>>44701583

>>44706890
I get that that sounded clever in your head, because you're a moron, but please try to actually think your jabs through before you post. It's embarrassing.

>>44701727
What does this mean?

>>44706890
These kind of jokes work better when you add a fedora as picture, just to show it's all in good fun.

By not doing so you just showed you actually are a massive fedora-core

>>44707185
champagne is named after the region of france where it originates. No france, your bubbly wine isn't called champagne.

>>44701583
Jesus Christ is my PC name, nothing out the ordinary here.

>>44706534
so reasonable

>>44701583
>Not "By Helion's hairy balls!"

>>44707221
>Not "Pluto's asshole" or "Jupiter's cock"

Actually, I've been musing on a fantasy setting where Jesus and Christianity exist, but because it's a totally different world to Earth, the mythology is all kinds of wierd and fucked-up.

Like, the first murder was committed because a race of horned serpents convinced the first human to give in to jealousy and kill his brother. As punishment, God removed their limbs and forced them to slither on their bellies. Then he cast them all out into the Void forever, save one - the only serpent who showed remorse for his actions, and was allowed to keep his limbs. God made him the warden of his kin, to ensure they never escaped the Void.

A few thousand years later, the serpents have escaped and are causing chaos, while the limbed-serpent tries to rally heroes to defeat them. All while people are praising Jesus and starting wars over minor differences in Biblical interpretation.

>>44707263
Hail Satan

>>44707252
>"By Hermes' Fanny" and "By Artemis' Cock"

That would fit in my setting. Considering that the kingdom of prester john is a part of the regions history. Presterians follow the path of the one god and the sacrificed son as taught by the churches patriarch, Prester John.

Is it really that super weird to have christianity as a part of the setting? I can't really get immersed in "this is middle ages fantasy" if there aren't not! catholics in the setting.

>>44701583
well, Jesus is mentioned in Anima so it's ok

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>>44706890

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>>44707295
"fortuna pisses on me"

>>44707721
>32 BC
>not being a son of Hades

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>>44707790
is everything alright sir?

>>44706890
>the (non)existence of something affects the realness of a setting
Shit son. According to you the Sowjet Union didn't exist because Communism never did except on paper.

>>44707940
Communism has not existed because it's not meant to exist. But parties genuinely working for it have plenty of times IRL. They've just been crushed by the not-Communist-but-very-militant other socialists (or occasionally fascists) pretty quickly.

>>44707982
>Communism has not existed because it's not meant to exist.
>Das Kapital is the IRL version of The King In Yellow
Well. Shit.

>>44707940
>implying the SU existed
Don't let the jews fool you

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>Medieval setting
>There is a "common" language
>This is English
>A language that didn't even exist in the Middle Ages
>Implying the peasants wouldn't speak a wide variety of languages depending on their regions
>Implying the educated and the nobillity don't speak French and Latin

And it'd better as fuck be historically appropriate French, faggot. Read up on the Oaths of Strasbourg or get the fuck out.

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Once again the Gods spread the cheeks to ram cock in fucking arse.

>>44701870
In D&D I've always found "Torog" to be my go-to general curse word.

>>44707997
>Don't let the jews fool you
But anon what if I'm a Jew?
Do I get to roll for Disbelief?

>>44707999
Latin IS Common, fagberg. D&D basically takes place circa 500 AD, so it makes perfect sense; there are only two big languages, the slowly vulgarizing Latin, and Germanic. Then you've got some minor tongues like Elf (Q-Celtic) and Shithead (Gallic/Brythonic), but even the filthiest Gaul understands Common.

What doesn't make sense is the arms and armor.

>>44706890
gb2reddit fag

>>44706886
I can read the alphabet, but I can't read a word of russian or any other slavic language.

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>>44708158
>Latin IS Common, fagberg.
Have fun running your game in Latin.

>>44708055
You get to add your shekels as a bonus to all your rolls whenever you please.

Does anyone legitimately expect their GM to write an entire new dialect to encompass a fantasy setting's historical figures and events while completely removing Earth's, and speak only in that weird dialect while running the game? Legitimately curious here.

>>44708262
Hardly, but it shouldn't be too hard to replace or simply avoid the most immersion-breaking figures of speech.

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>>44708237
>Jewfon

>>44708237
>You get to add your shekels as a bonus to all your rolls whenever you please.
Das OP mane

>>44708237
Fruor habeo, catamitimons!

>>44701583
I now want to run a D&D campaign where christianity exists as the biggest major religion.

I think that could be pretty interesting.

>>44702688
>>Basically just a wandering hobo with a fetish for pranks and antisocial behavior
Hello, Gnostic Jesus.

>>44707252
>>44707295
>BY VECTRON'S SACRED TAINT!

>>44707999
Common is equivalent to a passing knowledge of all commonly used languages.
If the other person doesn't have common as well, their regional dialect differs too much from the original language to be understood without a heavier knowledge of the language.

>>44707999
Common is Tradetalk.

>>44708309
Tell me which ones in particular break immersion, then. As was pointed out earlier, a lot of different types of food can break it - hamburgers (and any other sort of 'burger), sandwiches, or french fries, for example. If you want to be technical, any sort of word that originates from a translation error would break it (algebra from al-jabr, orange from naranj), since that assumes the other language exists as well. If you want to get really pedantic, any phrase that originates from another language could count. So, which ones in particular would break your immersion?

See this is why my D&D setting is set on Earth centuries after ayy lmaos blew up human civilization. I can justify all these anachronisms like the lazy as fuck DM that I am as "well there was a guy named Jesus who was kinda important in some old world religion..."

...But there'd be no reason why the town guard would exclaim the name of an important dude in a long-forgotten religion. Fuck.

>>44708882
It's part of the ancient vernacular, passed on since time immemorial. We don't think about it, we just use it, because we heard people around us use it, and they use it because they heard people use it, and so on.

I use "by the dread wolf" most often.

>>44701721

You can have most of the same phrases but why would you keep the ones that clearly refer to things that don't exist in the setting? If your half-orc barbarian ever begins a sentence with "well I'm no rocket scientist, but..." then you're seriously fucking up unless the group is specifically going for a goofy fourth wall breaking campaign.

>>44701583
>Fantasy RPG setting
>Guard says anything in any real language
>Guard is called a "guard"
>Serves a "King," "Queen," "Lord," "Emperor," or "Baron"
Shiggy diggy doo

>>44707110
>inland sea
everytime

>>44709207
What's wrong with it?

>>44708817
Proper names, for starters. If someone says Jesus Christ, chances are that Jesus or christianity is the first thing you associate it with. But I doubt Marquis de Sade is the first thing you start thinking of when someone mentions sadism.

>>44709055
>Guard says anything in any real language
>not assuming it's all in an imgainary language and the GM is just translating everything for your convenience
>not assuming that they actually do speak a real language because hey let's face it a lot more improbably shit goes down in your typical fantasy setting
Is this what passes for a joke among your misbegotten kind?

>>44707192
He's right. They could have "sparkling wine" I suppose.

>Somebody sneezes in the presence of an actual god and the deity says "God bless you."

>>44708158
>D&D takes place 500AD
u wot

>not having a setting populated entirely by settlers from Yorkshire
>eeeh ooh by gum lav

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>>44707221
>>44707252
>>44707295
>>44708752
>By the great and pendulous genitalia of all-mighty Odin!
I have actually used this phrase a few times in my real life.

>>44708752
>fellow vectron worshiper
BROTHER

>>44701583
This is hard here in Sweden since pretty much all our curses are christian. We usually make up our own.

>>44708158
>D&D basically takes place circa 500 AD
Nigga D&D takes place in its own separate multiverse over the course of stretches of time beyond mortal comprehension, with the Material Planes alone spanning a multitude of possible worlds and timelines.

This is either some really avant-garde bait or you're fucking retarded.

>>44710512
>multiverse

Stopped reading here

>>44710501
Replace God/Jesus/Angel Name/Saint Name with a setting-appropriate God/Angel/Saint/Etc. In many cases, if your setting is polytheistic, simply changing "God" to "Gods" will do the trick

>>44710537
>stopped reading because there was a word I didn't like
This is why you failed to develop an adult's level of reading comprehension.

>>44710301
I was being sarcastic, anon. The joke was that I was continuing off OP's stupid "REEEEEEEEEE HE USED A REAL LIFE PHRASE IN A FANTASY WORLD"

>>44701583
I usually just replace any mention of Hell with Nine Hells or Baator.

"What in Baator's name were you doing to that centaur?"

>>44710612
"I swear to Pelor I'm gonna thump you if you don't stop race-mixing."

>>44710578
>Yes, that IS what passes for a joke amongst my misbegotten kind.

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>>44710440
I'm thankful that I don't know you.

>>44710349
>>44710512
He's right though, the implied setting of D&D is a fantasy veneer on Europe just post-Roman collapse. Thus the huge swathes of empty wilderness, the copious ruins, the weirdly independent local petty lords and so on. It's strongest in the old editions, where clerics are also *obviously* early Christians, of the not that thoroughly pious kind that e.g. Gregory of Tours writes about. There's a lot of this stuff if you just know to look.

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>>44709207
ayy lmao

>>44710666
meh.
I never really said it around those who didn't already know how odd I am.
Although my dad had a more subtle version of your pic in response to the mental image.
Party on.

>>44710836
How quirky and random

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>implying

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>>44710836
I really hate you

>>44710795
And the full plate?

>>44711415
It was already pointed out that the armor was weird. It's weird anyway that mail and 15th century plate exist side by side, there's no real explanation for that. Same with all the weapons. Plate, arming sword and a shield? That makes no sense. Fixing the armor and playing a bunch of not!Lombards is a much, MUCH easier fix than writing a renaissance Italy setting, tho .

>>44701583
>OP's fantasy setting hasn't accepted their lord and savior

Pagans get out

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>Hey Einstein, I'm on your side!

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>>44711605
Oh yeah.
Shit.

>>44710829
My favourite part of that picture is the Hitchiker's joke. He's real proud of those fjords.

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>>44707252
JUNO'S CUNT!

>>44710440
>jesus doesn't demand you grow the fuck up
Someone hasn't read literally the entire New Testament

>>44706886
In my setting, dwarves use korean with reversed syllables. The players don't know it.

/pyccкий/ is my native.

>>44712188
For me it's gotta be
>muh strategic chokepoint

>>44711070
>How quirky and random
Quirky maybe, but hardly random
>>44711152
>I really hate you
This reaction seems a bit extreme to me, but you can't like everyone.

I seem to have given you two the impression that I am one of those annoying twats that tries to be random and wacky, like that taco bitch.
I am not, but I'm not gonna try to convince you because if I had a blog this ain't it.

>>44714685
>Someone hasn't read literally the entire New Testament
Someone, but not me. I just wanted a pic of Odin and that one stood out as being thread appropriate.

>>44703158
that was one giant asshole.

>>44707252
>>44714378
BY GRABTHARS HAMMER!

>>44702708

Vending machines way older than you think nigga

>>44708799
This. Many cultures have made such languages, even tribes of Native Americans. Or you could have the language used by the traders as the main language. Why do you think today's alphabet looks more like Phonecian script than Sumerian cuniform?

>>44721587
>that was one sick burn
Yeah it was.

>>44723643
>The earliest known reference to a vending machine is in the work of Hero of Alexandria, a first-century AD Greek engineer and mathematician. His machine accepted a coin and then dispensed holy water. When the coin was deposited, it fell upon a pan attached to a lever. The lever opened a valve which let some water flow out. The pan continued to tilt with the weight of the coin until it fell off, at which point a counterweight snapped the lever up and turned off the valve.

>Coin-operated machines that dispensed tobacco were being operated as early as 1615 in the taverns of England. The machines were portable and made of brass. An English bookseller, Richard Carlile, devised a newspaper dispensing machine for the dissemination of banned works in 1822. Simeon Denham was awarded British Patent no. 706 for his stamp dispensing machine in 1867, the first fully automatic vending machine.

Huh. I had no idea.

You know what tickles my autism? Tavern food, the few times my DMs actually talk about it. It's probably not going to be fresh anything - more likely slow roasted meats, soups that are kept bubbling for half a week, or perhaps breads. And lots of alcohol.

>>44723951
>It's probably not going to be fresh anything
Laws that regulate how and what taverns are allowed to serve guests are also older than you think.

Alcohol actually was everywhere though until fairly recently.