We are going to roll up some AD&D harlots and then possibly have them compete against each other in some manner. For this campaign we will be using the table presented, the AD&D 2E Revised Player's Handbook, the AD&D Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge netbook (which I will be uploading in my next post), and maybe the critical-hit tables from Player's Option: Combat & Tactics.
To begin, roll 1d100 to determine the harlot's subtype as indicated on the table. Once you have determined your harlot's subtype, please name them and roll 18d6 to determine their Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma (3d6 in order down the line).
Here is the Complete Guide to AD&D Unlawful Carnal Knowledge netbook, last updated December 1st, 1993 (or possibly January 12th, 1993.)
OK, our first contender is Nelly, a wanton wench with stats STR11, DEX11, CON6, INT14, WIS8 CHA16.
I'm sure she's quite the charmer, but her low CON bars her from all races save humans and half-elves. She may be a Fighter or a Thief. Please choose Nelly's race and class.
And like an idiot, I forget the table I meant to upload.
Sounds good. As a Human Thief, Nelly the wanton wench gets these thieving skills, which may come in handy at some point. At 1st level, she has 60 discretionary points to put into these skills, but no more than 30 points may be put into a single skill. Note that her 11 Dex means she has a few penalties right out of the gate; her base Pick Pockets is 10%, and both Find/Remove Traps and Move Silently are base 0%.
And here's something to look at while I dig around in a book for a moment.
OK, all we need is one more PC and then we can have an ass-to-ass competition.
STR7, DEX8, CON7, INT13, WIS14, CHA13
Looks like this saucy tart can be a human or an elf, and can either be a Mage or a Cleric.
As your saucy tart serves the will of both paying clients and THE GODS THEMSELVES, please choose which god you serve:
As a follower of the god of healing, Billy the saucy tart may choose one of the following spells:
>Cure Light Wounds
>Endure Cold/Endure Heat (may alternate)
>Purify Food and Drink
In addition, she may choose one of the following special cleric abilities:
>Turn Undead as a priest of her level
>+4 bonus to all Reaction checks, +2 to all Fear checks within 10' radius of her
THIS WILL BE THE FINAL DECISION BEFORE OUR FIRST COMPETITION
AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE GOD OF HEALING, BILLY THE SAUCY TART HAS JOURNEYED TO THIS OUT-OF-THE-WAY TAVERN TO WIN ACCOLADES IN THE NAME OF HER ORDER BY PARTICIPATING IN AN ASS-TO-ASS COMPETITION... COINCIDENTALLY, THIS IS THE VERY SAME TAVERN WHERE NELLY THE WANTON WENCH WORKS AS A, UH, WENCH.
THE STATED PRIZE FOR WINNING THIS COMPETITION IS FIVE GOLD COINS, WHICH IS A LOT OF MONEY BACK THEN, PLUS ANYTHING THE AUDIENCE THROWS AT YOU.
>JUST GET STRAIGHT TO THE ASS-TO-ASS (ROLL 1d20)
>WORK THE AUDIENCE AND JUDGES (ROLL 1d20)
BILLY VALIANTLY ATTEMPTS TO GO ASS-TO-ASS WITH A NAMELESS NPC HARLOT, BUT UPON THE INITIAL COLLISION OF THEIR BUTTOCKS, BILLY FINDS HER STRENGTH AND DEXTERITY A MAJOR HINDRANCE, FOR SHE IS KNOCKED DOWN AND TUMBLES FROM THE STAGE!
MAKE A DEXTERITY CHECK, BILLY (ROLL 1d20)
Rolled 2 (1d6)
BILLY LANDS BADLY...
...BUT SHE SURVIVES THE FALL WITH MERELY A FEW BRUISES AND HER PRIDE INJURED, RISING TO THE JEERING CAT-CALLS OF THE AUDIENCE!
PERHAPS ANOTHER HARLOT WILL STEP FORTH TO TEST HER MIGHT AND METTLE IN THIS CONTEST OF CONTESTS!
>ROLL NEW HARLOT
>ACTIVATE EXISTING HARLOT
Actually having looked at the tables up top, I realize that these stats are pretty okay.
But class choices are limited to Thief or Cleric. I'm thinking my Brazen Strumpet should be a Thief named Maude.
This brazen strumpet may be a human, elf, half-elf, gnome, or halfling, and may be a Thief or a Cleric.
AND THUS IS IT DECIDED. MAUDE THE BRAZEN STRUMPET WILL BE A THIEF. PLEASE CHOOSE HER RACE.
VERY WELL, IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THAT MAUDE THE BRAZEN STRUMPET IS A HALFLING THIEF.
AS A HALFLING, MAUDE HAS THE FOLLOWING ADJUSTMENTS TO HER THIEVING SKILLS, AS NOTED ON THIS TABLE.
PLEASE CONSULT THE TABLES HERE >>44689910 AND PLACE 60 TOTAL POINTS INTO HER SKILLS, PLACING NO MORE THAN 30 POINTS IN A SINGLE SKILL. HER ABOVE-AVERAGE DEXTERITY MEANS SHE HAS NO PENALTIES RELATED TO HER DEXTERITY.
As you wish, Sarah the saucy tart is an Elven Cleric. As an agent of the gods, who does she follow?
And feel free to adjust your demihuman harlots' stats using this table.
Harlot Type: noko+dice+d100
(never done this before - sorry in advance)
I really want to read some old-timey pulp erotica, but there's none to be found online. I'm a little upset.