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What is your most memorable use of improvised...
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What is your most memorable use of improvised weapon in D&D/Pathfinder /tg/?
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>>44680150
When my brother had me tie a bear trap to his fist so he could punch someone and trap the slimy git at the same time.
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>>44680150
A small vat, or cooking pot.
I used it to attack the bad guy, after I tossed my sword across the room.
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>>44680150
I played a Skeleton Sorcerer whom, while escaping from a fucking maximum security prison, found a lockbox, had another party member beat it open, took the broken masterwork lute from it, and then proceeded to brain quite a few guards with it in his daring escape.

That's still my favorite character of all time, to be honest.
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One time my character stuffed someone in a bag of holding that was filled with snakes.
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Inspired by Jackie Chan I plunged my head inbetween two rungs of a ladder and then spun them around my neck to keep my enemies at bay.

It worked pretty well until I rolled poorly and one end of the ladder caught against a wall and I knocked myself unconscious.
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>>44680150
A car. Pot ●●●●● is one hell of a drug.
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>>44680150
One time, we were fighting a custom creature that was basically a large Basilisk. It turned the half-giant to stone, so the Orc who was currently riding Enlarge Person, picked up the half giant and bludgeoned the Basilisk to death with it.

Same game: Someone killed a guard with an orc's ingrown toenail.

Same game: Someone killed several guards with Great Cleave and another PC's corpse.

Same game: Someone killed an enemy by taking off his helmet and chunking it at someone.
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>>44682765

Please explain how the guard was killed with an ingrown toenail.
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>>44682992
Orc Fighter was chained to the wall for prior attempt at prison escape. The Rogue removes his shoe, tore out one of his big toe nails, and used it to first of all pick the lock, and second of all stab a sleeping guard's throat.

Natural 20.
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Back in 3.5 I played a fighter who didn't improvise the most creatively but he improvised a LOT. He threw pretty much everything all the time. From level 1 to level 15, he only ever got a ranged kill with a ranged weapon one time, when he threw a crossbow at someone.

Weirdest thing I remember him throwing and killing something with was a tower shield.
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>>44680150
My friend was playing an orc barnarian in pathfinder, and I was a wizard, I ran out of spells and my weapon got broken 3 rounds before. Orc barbarian gives me his long sword, and then grabs a potted cactus and basically soloed the rest of the fight against 4 assassin's from a Dwarven mafia we were trying to track down. Later that game he also used a table as a makeshift sheild and used it to crush a hobbit informant flat against a wall before I could even cast my fireball.
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Not D&D/PF.
One of my D&D players pretty much had every WoD book you could think of in physical form.
We swapped game nights back and forward.
I made a sort of spoof character.
John Smith.
Occupation. Home Depot night stocker turned hunter.
Specialized in improvised weapons "lawn and garden tools"
Caught the attention of some uppity Sabbat ruffians via taking them out frequently.
Led them on a chase into a construction site.
The cats took the place of the mouse that fateful day.
They're now part of the foundation of the new local church and community center.
Staked and covered in concrete.
Spent xp on furthering my resources via climbing the ladder at Home Depot.
Was assistant general manager.
A modest family man's salary.
His wife eventually got fed up with him being out so late at night.
Was convinced he was having an affair.
Took the car and his kid to live with her mother.
Filed for divorce and took everything.
Fucking storyteller even looked up child support + alimony laws.
Judge was a ghoul.
Eventually purged the local judge with the help of a wraith+ mage.
Damage is done though.
Could only afford to live in a leaky tin shitbox camper.
He's now a self loathing alcoholic and wishes he'd never been imbued.
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A petrified penis. Called shot critical to the leg with barely any HP remaining.

We were investigating a brothel, trying to prove that the madame is actually some kind of warlock/sorcerer. getting test subjects from the brothel.
Turns out she was a medusa witch in disguise.
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Not D&D/PF, but one guy in a current game has taken to just carrying around a giant pan/ladle to bash people's heads in with.
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>>44680150
When one of my party members used me as a cannonball for some kinda weird magic cannon
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>>44685619
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>>44680150
I was playing a bard and our party was captured and they had taken all of our weapons, they left me with my flute thou in order to entertain them, I decided to wing it and smash the lone guards head in with it, it broke so I used the string to throttle him.
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>enter prison through sewer
>fill bag of holding to maximum 250lb or 30 cubic feet of liquid human waste
>ensuing fight with warden and guards, warden runs to retreat through a door
>he makes it through door. I grab door, place full-to-bursting bag of holding against the door frame
>I slam the door

DM tld me after that the Warden was in the middle of the room when the stream of sewage exploded into the room, triggering all of the deadly traps at once and killing his big bad
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>>44687591

>flute
>string
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>>44687627
Lute, sorry
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Story from my players last night:
>One of the characters has contracted madness in a magical disease, rolls daily to see his outlook for the day. 1% on a d100
>They are at sea, on 2 small rowboats. long story
>The player is flailing wildly, howling and yelling nonsense. Boats about to tip.
>Halfling picks up an oar, starts to whack him in the head non-lethally.
>The maddened player is a barbarian with good DR, doubles in on non-lethal
>Party monk picks up the other oar, tried to help
>other half of party rows up, gets off there own boat, uses 2 more oars to beat this man into submission

It was like the fucking scene from kung pow where he dosnt ask them for a towel. With no actual healer, the best they could do was bandage his face mummy style and convinced him he just got really sunburned when he fainted from heat exhaustion.
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>not exactly D&D, but The Dark Eye, so close enough
A wheel of cheese. Due to complicated circumstances, the party was taking part in a huge victory feast while unarmed, which was attacked by the remnants of the defeated BBEG's forces led by his right hand man. Our warrior grabbed the nearest large object and defeated several elite knights with it before using it to stage an assault on the lieutenant and fighting the guy to a stalemate before the enemy raid was forced to retreat.
We still have that wheel of cheese, a real-life decade later. At one point it has housed the soul of a slain party member for a while and it sees regular use otherwise.
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>>44680150
A Warblade I made once managed to oneshot the tarrasque (as in, knock it down to -10 hit points, he obviously can't kill it permanently) with a chopstick.
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Using reverse gravity and a bag of tricks to create divebombing lions, tigers, and bears.
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I had a bunch of Goblin chefs attack the party with various types of cutlery while using pot lids as shields.
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The Codex of Infinite Planes.
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>>44683765
>Barnarian
>>
>play my cocky ass paladin
>ranged weapons are for plebians
>harpy attack on a snowy mountain
>can't do shit, obviously
>prepare action to tackle next harpy that swoops in
>snap its neck
>toss it at a harpy crossbowman
>critical hit
>other harpies flee

I miss that guy. He was fun to play. But now I'm forever DM
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player in my party is a barbarian parody of Major Armstrong from Full Metal Alchemist, and uses a ladder and lute as his main weapons. The whole family has been declared to similarly misuse musical instruments as weapons.
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>>44680150
I once threw diamond dust in somebody's eyes.
That was pretty cool.
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>>44691340

How the fuck did you manage to do 868 points of damage through damage reduction with an improvised weapon?
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>>44680150
An iron pot. We where low level fighting a small or tiny creature who's DR we litterly could not beat, so the fighter grappled it while I took out my iron pot from my pack and the oracle used create water to fill it up. then put the Div in the pot and sit on the lid for as long as it take for it to stop moving
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>>44692875
>Gnarbarian

Party used a wand tied to an arrow as a long range nuke. My gunslinger magus shot the arrow mid flight over the bbeg and army, the army we later found out we were supposed to run from, no a smoldering pile of lvl9-10 xp.
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Used a wooden folding chair to kill a magma elemental with my Half-ork luchador themed monk of the empty hand Salsa Verde
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>>44680150
I flung my party Cleric as an improvised weapon at a Juggernaut so she could then stab it to death.

God bless you, Telekinesis.
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While playing my human fighter i picked up a headless kobold, who i just had beheaded and used him as a club
Which in turn hammered the next kobold into the snow
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I once had a Paladin smite a goblin chief with his own throne.

That was a silly encounter.
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>>44693536
Diamond Nightmare Blade (Attack roll and Concentration check for x4 of ALL damage done, including things like enchantments, and applies after criticals) and some good feat choices for the win. Deep Impact emphasizes the 'Nightmare' part of the maneuver's name.
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>>44680150

Decapitated a zombie, then kicked the head at another and rolled a crit, killing it instantly.
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My barbarian punched an elf to death and then used the elf-corpse to bludgeon another elf to death. He then hurled the corpses at a third elf and killed him.
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>>44690095
>It housed the soul of a slain party member
How in the fuck did you manage that? Thats fucking hilarious. I've never heard of The Dark Eye.
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Half of a keep's gate.

Though it wasn't actually an improvised weapon, the captain's chair.
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I used my own intestines as an improvised garrote to stifle a guard.
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>>44680150
A handful of crushed stained glass from a church window I used to divine smite an evil lich in the face with
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>>44695841
Basically, the rogue got captured by an evil cult and was meant to be sacrificed to the demon god of chimeras (grossly simplified, but let's roll with it) in order to summon bad shit. As her soul was escaping her body our wizard basically nailed it to the cheese by creating a magical artifact on the fly and hijacking the ritual.
The thing is, using souls to create a magical object is a really, really nasty atrocity regardless the reason, so afterwards we were less heroes of the realm for destroying that cult, and more wanted fugitives running across the countryside, protecting some pecorino from the white guild (evil-hating lawful mages) and the equivalent of the inquisition bent on destroying an obviously evil artifact.
Later on we managed to extract the soul and put it into another host. As a side effect, the cheese now is this gaping metamagical black hole, draining nearby magic and consuming spirits and paranormal creatures whenever it touches them.
Yes, we have an indestructible antimagic cheese.

The Dark Eye is a German rpg. Older pc gamers might recognize it from Shadows over Riva and its ilk.
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>>44680150
I burned two action points to pick up a banquet table (about 30 feet long and HEAVY) and used it as a massive club to knock out about ten people in two swings.
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>>44680150
Our Chef (the Barbarian) used a pot throughout the entire campaign, eventually getting a magic pot of cooking, and he still used it as a weapon. We treated it as a +1 weapon and the chef went ecstatic over his magic pot.

Another one was when we cut off someones ass and kicked his ass with his ass.

We used a pencil to kill a great wyrm red dragon.

Oh, and we used a peasant railgun with a +5 keen Spear and the 20th level fighter in front.
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>>44697385
All of that was the same game!
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>>44695688
>Diamond Nightmare Blade

Was this what you called the attack or the name of the weapon? Were you playing a fucking anime? Cause that's one hell of a name.
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>>44697423
It's a maneuver from the book of weeaboo fightan magick.
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Two incidents, one Crocman.
>His clutch-brother
Threw him at a British sailor.
>A Gatling gun(Same battle)
Used it to beat three British naval ratings to death. It was still mounted on wheels.
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>>44697853
Alright. Carry on then.
Thread replies: 53
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