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Star Wars A New Quest #15 Years Edition
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Welcome rudebois and rudegyals to the latest edition of Star Wars A New Quest,

Last time on STANQ; after a body breaking fuck, you heart to heart with your others yous, pay for dildo casts of the exogorth, get a prison tat, sneak back to ship and shower, text al about the gay, go laser tag with three kids, accidentally burn down chuck e cheese gyros joint, snap at athena and ranlis for calling your half blood kid a demon, you force apologies out of the moms, fuck athena for the first time in leading up to 4 years, badger al to come gambling, badger everyone else, no one does, fail at gambling, fail at treating al good when she turns up, fugging al while driving and getting pulled over and doing sick doughies and lying your way out of an arrest, go strip poker, heart to heart sheulk, meet your evidently fucked in the head stalker, who pisses herself, you sneak her to al's room to wash her, she pisses in the shower waking al, who you get to take over as you sneak out, win strip poker, keg stand as reward, wake up with stalker above you who after screams of help is tackled, get breakfast with your now lezzing servants, have a lot of heart to heart and cuddling with receptionist and your son kane, and ended on a timeskip vote.

And that's where we are now.

>To follow or talk with a Real G or give a recommendation or ask something, Twitter: @WynautQM
>Archive: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Star%20Wars%20Murderhobo%20Edition%20Quest
>>
You rub your eyes sitting up on your bed, no female by your side.

It's your 20th birthday apparently.

Yawn

There's gladiator fighting and booze fountains at the venue, and sheulk handled the majority of the planning as a favour.

You sigh.

The day starts with a below average sunrise and you sense gazza for a moment and then he's gone again.

>what do?
>>
>>44670702
Look around and see if anyone else is in the same bed.
>>
You look around, swiveling like a space owl on adrenaline, but see no one

You check under your bed to be safe.

there's a pair of underwear there, but it's hanging out your underwear box.

Looks fresh, you've been drinking a lot recently, last night being no exception.

You stop and feel.

Someone's brushing their teeth in your bathroom, using their own toothbrush,

You can't feel which sket's acting like they've moved in already since your hangover fucks with your force, but theya cruisin for a bruisin

>what do
>>
>>44670996
Oi! Who's in there?

How ya doin famalam?

And where's me scotch?
>>
>>44671123
I'm doing aight famalam, got pizza, you?
And your scotch is whereever you lef tit you old coot.
--

"Oi, Who's in there?"

You don't hear anything in response for a good while.

"...it's me"

"Who's me?"

"You're Kyran aren't you?"

"Don't be a smartarse"

"Smartarse?"

You can't hear or understand their voice right now properly, but this level of unfeigned ignorance has to either be rainman or Adri, you're betting Adri.

And out walks adri in nothing more than one of your shirts, lips glistening in the sunlight each time the breeze blows the cloth up.

"Is that all you're wearing?"

"I-I-I can't find my underwear, i'm sorry"

"What about your own clothes?"

"...I like wearing this"

At least she's comfy with her form instead of trying to magic her skin white and wear human eye contacts.

You check your clock

11am

The party is at 7pm

>what do now
>>
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>>44671336
Check under the bed. Did Gazza do something?? I'm hungry. Brunch? Brunch.
>>
>>44671336
"Well how about you ask before using my stuff? That said the only reason I am letting this pass is my dick is pleased right now, so this is conflicting."
"Nice of you to show up as yourself by the way, looking way better"
Go be bored, midly irritated and aroused in the sofa. Shitpost on the chans about the goddamn rodian immigrants stealing our jobs until someone, be it Adri or whoever else, does something.

>tfw no happy birthday wishes
>>
>>44671397
cute
---

You check under the bed, your chest, your collection of undies girl's have left in vaccuum packed containers, illegal energy food collection, normal, gazza doesn't appear to have done anything, though he's in the stone again.

"Well how about you ask before using my stuff? That said the only reason I am letting this pass is my dick is pleased right now, so this is conflicting."

"i-i-i'm... well..." Appears she's conflicted aswell, but she takes a big breath "I thank the acknowledgement that... I make your dick happy, but sorry for borrowing stuff unnannounced, let me make it up to you!" She says running to the kitchen making breakfast, nice.

You sit down midly irritated and aroused on the sofa, and start shitposting on the chans

>tfw no happy birthday wishes

>>exogorth-chan
Happy birthday anon!

"Fuck off you patronising cunt" you think closing your holopad, flicking the telly on, just as Adri brings you breakyfast.

Nice.

"Nice of you to show up as yourself by the way, looking way better"

"E-even though you hate the blue?"

"Firstly I like the blue, and secondly you idiot, i fuck you to fuck YOU, not 1 in a trillion white skin or some weird amalgamation of bleu and white due to magic, you're beautiful and I like you, now stop attention seeking and eat."

She eats but excuses herself early, and a few minutes later you hear a buzzing coming from her room, like she ran to save you from the horde of angry bees she could tell were tracking her.

The TV has nothing interesting on, except news of your trial and the notice of your party in that giant expensive venue sheulk dug into your wallet to rent. You could always go channel surfing, or use the SpaceTiVo, maybe someone on space craigs list wants someone killed or there's a guy in a funny hat somewhere.

Damn you're really bored.

>what do
>>
>>44671760
Are there bees in yo room? Get cleaned up I guess. Get some nice looking clothes on. Go gamble some??
>>
>>44671760
Go outside see if there is anyone waiting there, what with journalists being vultures.
Maybe see online some investment opportunities that we can do before leaving, to make up for all these expenses and no-gains.
>>
You get some ncie looking clothes on, and since the buzzing hasn't subsided yet, you text adri asking if the bees have gotten her yet.

You put on some real nice clothes and go to leave, but first check online, and invest in everything you see, because why not, the money isn't going anywhere apart from being taken away by taxes and identity thieves, and you gain money for spending money, no matter the result.

You open your door to leave and go gamble but paparazzi swarm you.

Well, more like 1 reporter in a waaaay oversized fedora with the word "PRESS" on a white piece of paper stapled to the hat, and a feather in it too, found on the street by the looks of it.

"Mr Ollis? Cannagetastatementfromyaplease? Peopleudlovetoearit"

You can't even see her face because of how short she is, giant fedora just covering it whole, you can only see the bottom of the braids of her hair.

"whassadaylikeindalifeofkyraneh?

whatareyauptadassoimportantyoucouldnafriggedofftajailalready?"

>what do
>>
>>44672176
Go away. And calm the hell down.
>>
>>44671892
"If you speak like a normal human being I'll give you a statement"
>>
>>44672411
>>44672176
Wrong link
>>
"Go away. And calm the hell down."


"goaway? isthathowyoutalktoamemberofthepress? isitbecauseofmyadhdisit? thatsdisabilitydscrimination. nowonderyouaregoingawayforalongtime. calmthehelldown? youarrenttellingmetocalmdown, youretellingthepeoplewhowantsnewstocalmdown."

"What?"

"CENSORSHIP,CENSORSHIP, CENSORSHI-"

"Stop for a second, if the people really cared, there'd be more than one reporter right?"

"Imthebestreporterever, noneoftheothermattertobehonest."

"Really?"

"...no one else could sneak in or break in i think..."

Oh yeah, this is the senate building.

"If you speak like a normal human being I'll give you a statement"

"youwill, ohboythiscouldbethebigbreakiwaswaitingfor, theuncutkyranstory"

"Did I not just say talk like a normal human being?"

"aminot?"

"too fast"

"gotcha mate"

>what do/say?
>invite in
>go somewhere else
>"PSYCH" and slam door
>Steal hat then slam door
>fug
>pose
>go make tea
>call guards "HELP"
>write in
>>
>>44672534
>>"PSYCH" and slam door
>> Call guards and have her removed.

Watch the Space Expensanles 6 again. It went down hill after 2 but still a decent action movie.
>>
>>44672534
>fug
>While making tea
>And posing
she wanted the kyran story yeah?
>>
>>44672534
>pose
"I am the perfect being, that will be all"
>>
>Wynaut
I think I see why not now, this writing is fucking awful.

lrn2punctuation.
>>
>>44672778
>yfw nobody here cares because we are all drunk sleepless bastards

>>44672750
second
>>
You pose with"I am the perfect being, that wil-"

"But you're far from perfect, that's why you're doing the statement to apologise and admit it right?"

"PSYCH" You scream before the door makes a crinkle noise as it devastatingly hits hat.

You open your comm "Guards there's a small trespasser in the halls with a big hat, thank you.

You jump back onto your sofa and turn on the space expendables, It went down hill after 2 but still a decent action movie.

ah here's the part where Sylvester Starlone's sudden onset dementia makes him forget there was an explosion there, and they had to change the script of the film to account for his tragic death.

They have a nice tribute to him planned in the next film, or so you've heard.

As the credits roll you start making tea and big hat flies in through the window

"The people shall not be silenced" She shouts as you gingerly sip your earl grey.

"So they shant" you say approaching slowly

"You ready for the statement now?"

"Are you ready?" You say putting your hands on her hips, before she pulss them off and hands them back to you.

"Do you not want the Kyran story?"

"I want the story, not the Kyran"

>what do

>>44672778
eyy someone got the name pun
does This annyo u friend.
>>44672817
lmao, xactly, we're here for the ride and the keks, not my writing skill or lack of.
>>
>>44670688
If Kyran learns The World and becomes immortal, while also ripped as fuck, this will be perfect desu.
>>
>>44672750
i like it!
>>
>>44672817
It shows.
>>
>>44672880
"You can only get both or neither, time to choose young'un. The sacrifices one does for the truth eh?

Actually why are you so interested?"
>>
>>44672880
"They are one and the same."
>>
>>44672880
Adri clean up in he main room.
>>
>>44673129
>>44673205
>>44673252
roll1d100
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>44673340
IT WAS I KYO
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>44673340
Git me my scotch billy!!
>>
>>44673400
>>44673382
lmao
you want a 28 or is someone else gonna roll
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>44673340
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>44673434
I lost my dick in a truck accident 3 years agoo.
>>
>>44673457
AYYY BBY
>>
>>44673464
Jesus fuck I keked
why would you say that out of nowhere anon? Fuck.
>>
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>>44673464
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>44673527
>>44673512
Dice gods always bless tragedies.
>>
>>44673434
USE THE MAGIC WORDS
>>
>>44673745
Abrakayy bby wan sum fuk?
>>
>>44673777
While nice trips please don't fuck the reporter. She doesn't seem old enough.
>>
>>44673745
>>44673777
beautiful
>>44673813
you're already going jail
maybe you shoulda asked her how old she was first
>>44673595
fairdoes
>>
>>44673813
>doesn't seem old enough
>for the exogorth

This does not compute.
>>
>>44673866
Don't use the words, it's overkill.

That said, I find the concept of age of consent used here to be pretty funny, funky yankee stuff.

Here it's 14 and nobody complains.
>>
"Actually why are you so interested?"

"Because I want a story of my own, the unreachable story!"

"Unreachable?"

"C'mon, only the best reporter in the world is brave enough to get to and interview the decimator"

"Decimator?"

"It was one of your nicknames on the news during one of your breakdowns, with what you did and all"

"Ah"

"So kyran, story then?"

"No."

"What?"

"When it comes to kyran and story, They are one and the same. You can only get both or neither, time to choose young'un. The sacrifices one does for the truth eh?"

She pinches her brow, "If it must be done, so be it-Ah?" she says before getting dipped, her hat falling off into your hand, before you frisbee it and miss the hat rack completely, and making sure you can't talk with your own mouth.

Each time she tries to talk, you find something to block her mouth with, your tongue, your fingers, a piece of toast (which she eats instead of spitting out) and a gag on the table, all on your journey from your living room to your bedroom.

You put her on the bed, and "is this really happening?" she says confused, a slight difference from her normally chipper space irish voice.

How'd she get the gag off if you've been holding her arms and necking her on the way to your room? Oh well, "Yes it's happening" you say slamming up to the hilt, your crotches looking like shadow the hedgehog with your big black bush and her small red one colliding and rubbing together like the genitalia beneath them.

You start on your life story, leaving out no details as you porky pig her against the bedframe, her large eyes vacant but focused, listening intently to every word.

You stop during your story about the time that CEO "fell" out of the window and ask her "You feeling it now Mrs krabs?"

"It's, ah, Miss Krabstan, ah, too you... umf, and no... feel this thing, OOH, never...*pant*"

"Just checking" you say picking up speed, hammering.
>>
Halfway through your story of meeting vi, you cum, splattering her walls.

You check, and she hasn't came yet. Is this some boss fight poon? Is she holding herself back? Are you distracted by story telling?

"S-see.... I, ahn, told you so..."

You warm up your tongue, drawing a magic star on her small slightly pudge but athletic tummy with saliva

"W-w-what are you doing now?"

Sweet, "Abrakayy bby wan sum fuk?"

Her body and composure instantly change, her hips start moving on their own, her eyes are even more unfocused, and her legs wrap around your back

"w-w-why do i feel so hot?"

"Kyran and his story obviously, to understand what i've been through, you have to understand what I do to people, and how it affects them."

"I-i-i do underst-AAHN" She says being interrupted as you begin slamming in, all the way in, and all the way out, denting the wall each time the bedposts rock against it.

You keep going full force, still describing your life's story, the raw uncut version, as you give her the exogorth, the raw uncut version.

Her tongue's swinging wildly out of her mouth, and you feel her toes repeatedly uncurling and curling into your back, each orgasm causing her to deal slightly deeper cuts each time as the nails on each limb look for solace and grip.

She screams and creams for the 5th time, as you deposit your second shot into her, hearing the thud as the mass of the perfect load slams against the top of her womb, probably bruising it.

Most powerful spermatozoa in the galazy right here.

>what do now
>>
Fuck what do now should be at the bottom of this post not that one

---

You take a drink, and check the time.

2pm, 5 hours till the party.

Where'd the time go? Oh yeah, putting an uppity reporter in her place

You broke through the wall with the final slam as the posts got through, to reveal and adri in her room with your underwear on her head playing with the toy you brought her, abject fear on her face like she's been caught out.

Ah perfect timing, can you clean my room please.

She climbs through the hole and goes sweeping.

The midget here talks to herself "so he has that kind of hold on people, magic"

"What was that?"

She slaps herself in the face, and then slaps each thigh to get feeling into them, and then kip ups off the bed to her feet.

Which have no feeling in them, so she crashes forward, grabbing a table edge last second, using it to drag herself into the seat, where she begins shouting headlines at speeds you can't hear and writing at speeds you can't see.

Awh, she got cum on your favourite chair you got off space craigslist, fuck.

Adri leaves, patches up the hole in the wall, and then you hear the buzzing sound from earlier even louder, guess she figured how to change settings. God that sounds like it's on too high.

Redhead finally finishes writing, shouts "EUREKA" then passes out face first onto her writing.

Well, that was eventful.

>what do now
>>
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>>44674214
Take her notepad and burn it. No one gets the real story of Kyran. Except al and Kj. Go get cleaned up and see if Adri broke her toy yet. Actually do that before getting cleaned.
>>
>>44673954
3rd world anon lays the smackdown verbally.
i wouldn't have wrote the magic words in, IC wise since he doesn't need them and they're a bit too OP with the stone in your inventory and since you leveled up in it, but he got trips, I couldn't deny the trips.
>>
>>44674214
if the magic words can work through the comms we should check if it can work through text
>>
>>44674324
It works in the same principle of Vader choking out an admiral somewhere else on the ship, or sidious choking out someone across the galaxy over holo transmission.

A basic force feeling of where they are,

If it worked through text, then Edge-kin skywalker's erotic rp's with padme over text would've ended the series early after a "chokes you* do you like that?"
>>
>>44674278
>>44674214
I vote we let her have it, it only enhancees our legend. Come on bro.

Also really dick move to fuck her and then go back on the deal.
>>
>>44674278
woah real nice
---

You push her out o your chair and she stays asleep on the rug.

You take her notepad and burn every page.

Who cares what else was in here, no one tells a perfect chronicling of your story, it's not fit for mortal ears.

Severeal pages of art go up in flames.

One of a nice building, captioned "my future news headqu-" which is all you get before it ashes out

one of herself, a pretty good self portrait, you don't know what shade of green are used for the eyes, but it's nice.

One last one, "me and my dad before he left <3" and a mediocre tear stained portrait of Joey Steeldick goes up in flames.

Ah fuck

*ring ring*

"Yeah guards the trespasser is unconscious in my room"

And now she's no longer in your room.

Fuck.

>what do
>>
>>44674214
add a piece to notes describing the sex scene with her
>>
>>44674513
Oh sorry anon
didn't see it cos of the really long auto update timer.
if it helps she secretly audio recorded the whole thing, though she's gonna be too embarrassed to release it, since her moans cover up your words.
>>
Just aw that anon getting cucked by his own dad thing
what the fuck
i don't even know if i can run after that
jesus
fucking fuckin hell
>>
>>44674587
Wow seriously why the fuck did we just do this?
>>
>>44674587
Check in Adri and get cleaned up.
>>
Wow seriously why the fuck did you just do this?

You're not entirely sure why you just made such a bad decision.

Perhaps you're high, or dreaming.

Maybe it's a midlife crisis.

Either way, ya dun goofed up.

Though she didn't have that birthmark, so it's 50/50 whether or not she's a sister or not.

You get cleaned up and check on Adri.

You go through her door and the little dildo has just been discarded.

Inside you see her trying out the exogorth vibrator you got her, and she's unresponsive to you, and eventually screams, passing out.

guess they work.

You yawn and get your nice clothes back on since you did promise yourself gambling after all.

You hit the slots and tables and make minimal losses an Garret from the other day comes up to you

"Fancy seeing you here pardner" he says gingerly, "ready for the high roller table or you gonna go back to throwing spare change away at the roulette" he says smirking

>what do now?
>>
>>44675070
Go away ya farkin redneck coont! I dun wan non!
>>
"Go away ya farkin redneck coont! I dun wan non!"

"W-well, okay, if you change your mind though... I know you won't get a lot of chances for it in the recent future"

>what do now
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>44675250
Check the time. Get a non alcoholic drink. Gamble a little more.
>>
it's 4pm, 3 hours left.

You head to the bar.

You're twitching a little but want to be sober, at least for the start of the party, so order something non alcoholic.

You head back to all the tables and try your luck, and even on small stakes small bets tables, you end up losing 50k

Fuck

You check the time again, 5pm, 2 hours till party time.

>what do now?
>>
>>44675421
Go back to the room and see if reporter girl is gone.
>>
>>44674446
no nah i guess not i just wanted to see if we could massively fuck over, and fuck, the majority of the universe
>>
>>44675534
"Ah fuck

*ring ring*

"Yeah guards the trespasser is unconscious in my room"

And now she's no longer in your room.

Fuck."

>>44675421
Find out who the reporter girl is and send an apology for being a dick completely unnecessarily.
>>
>>44675534
she gone
You called guards to drag her away
lay off the scotch gramp!
>>44675551
yeah if i let you just put "ayy bby wan sum fug" on every image board ever it would just throw the world into chaos.
playing a post apocalypse world where crazy dick hungry bitches run around on society has collapsed would be pretty fun tho, just not in star wars.
>>
>>44675593
i was just thinking that we could rule some random ass planet where 99.999999999999999% of the planet is female after leading some kind of universe wide female only revolution
>>
You head home and do some research.

"Becki Krabstan, aged 32" fuck off 32, "Is the world's greatest reporter and PI"

This must be her website

"Gifts can be sent to PO BOX blahblahblah aswell as inquiries about work"

Huh, you call the local florists and seeing the meanness of your ways, send her an apology fruitbasket, the really expensive ones, with a message of regret, and apology for current day delivery.

You chill watching TV for a bit and get a comm bleep.

Call from an unknown number

Calls from 2 unknown numbers

6 missed calls from all different unknown numbers

And your comm is ringing right now

Has somebody leaked your info?

>what do

>>44675700
there still are those planets, and if you'd chose the "explore the galaxy" route i actually would've written it in already bruv.

not to say you still can't go that route.
>>
>>44675593
after prison happens we should head to that planet of the sex-bots you always talk about
>>
>>44675763
Get new phone.
>>
>>44675763
I call it karma for being a douchenozzle without any need.

Answer the ringing comm.
>>
>>44675763
answer all the comms with "new phone who dis"
>>
>>44675798
Have I ever talked about a sex bot planet?
Not saying there isn't one, but still.
>>
>>44675860
wasn"t in a couple of the first threads
>>
>>44675860
i thought you mentioned it
>>
You answer the ringing phone

"YOU SICK SON OF A BA-"

"new phone who dis?"

"Wh-wha?"

"this is a new phone, so who dis?"

She tries getting more words in, but that's all you answer with

"I AM SENATOR BIGGLESA, CHAMPION OF THE PEOPLE AND YOU ARE A TYRANT AND AN OPPRESSOR OF FREE SPEE-"

*click*

You recall all of the missed calls and all go similarly, apart from they don't reveal names and they hang up on you instead of the other way around.

You get your personal comm with your private spacebook out and put it so only approved numbers can call, and facebook status to use personal comm instead.

1 hour till party time.

>what do now?
>>
>>44675860
weren't we also a genius at fixing bots too
>>
>>44675885
>>44675919
ctrl+f'ing sex and bot show nothing in the first 5 threads.
there's one out there though
>>44676006
yeah you are, at least were, you've fallen out of practice, devoting your time to force and fun instead of tinkering with a gonk droid to give it seizures and blackouts for kicks and keks.
>>
>>44675993
Hang yourself in the bathroom.
>>
>>44675993
Adri you gettin ready for the party? Call Al ask where she wants to meet up.
>>
>>44675993
lets eat some gungan while searching up the location to where our prision is and the surrounding planets
>>
>>44676076
>>44676068
>>44676058
1d100
>>
>>44676045
i read all of them at like one i the morning can you really blame me
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>44676123
>>
>>44676123
>>44676076
>>
>>44676151
shit
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>44676123
>>
>>44676179
fuck how do you roll again
>>
>>44676128
i can't blame you
i write them all at like one in the morning, it's why peeps get confused so easily
>>44676200
dice+1d100
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>44676210
>>44676076
thanks m8
>>
>>44676210
dice+1d100
>>44676076
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>44676260
FUCK
>>
>>44676280
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FIRST FUCKING TIME AND IT'S FUCKING SHIT
>>
>>44676299
FUCK YOU DICE GODS WHAT MUST I SACRIFICE TO APPEASE YOU
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>44676329
Your anal virginity.
>>
>>44675993
Well, we just made ourselves an enemy of the public.
Well shit.

Maybe we should call/message that reporter back and give her our version of the story.
The one where we made some bad decisions when we were young, just wanted to have fun, thought the law didn't apply to us. That sort of thing. Then we wanted to do good, free some people, and help like-minded individuals, only to get put under siege by rebels, both the Jedi and the Sith. Emphasis on that bit. How the hell did BOTH the Jedi and the Sith decide to work together to put down a 19 year old guy like you? Really? Two of the most powerful organizations in the galaxy, putting you and your friends in danger instead of going up to you face to face like the respectable groups they are.
Now you're just trying to make things right, you have kids now and you don't want to be known as the Dad that ran away and is a criminal.
>>
>>44676329
>>44676238
wait nevermind
>>
>>44676344
>and give her our version of the story.
What the fuck are you on about? We did, but then we decided to burn it and call the guards on her because we can't spend 5 minutes without acting like a dick because "it's funny" even when it isn't.
>>
You order that special gyro as takeout, the one with the gungan hidden on the menu, and comm Adri

"You getting ready for the party?"

"yeah just five more minutes *SNORE*"

You call Al

"Yo sugartits where we meeting up?"

"At the party silly, i'm already there, seeya when you get here!"

*click*

You start researching the prison you're going to, but you don't know.

The chancellor never told you, and when you comm him to ask he simply states that the judge'll decide which one.

Weird, this shit's normally pre-decided.

You illegally search through some files and find something interesting, there's no white collar prisons open right now, there's planned movings, but not for a while.

Huh.

>what do now?

party in 15

>>44676344
>>44676376
you told her
and then burnt it
so all she has is her memory of the retelling
and the secret audio recording
did she even write the story down?
you didn't check the notepad
>>
>>44676340
>>44676345
lmao
>>
>>44676443
THAT SNEAKY BASTARD no whitecollar prison open fuck we gotta run
>>
>>44676376
And it's earned us the scorn of at least one very angry senator. We're going to prison, the last thing we want are angry senators and public against us.
But we've already done it and judging by what Wynaut says, it won't matter anyways. We'll deal with it when it comes.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>44676466
yeah i kinda fucked up there
>>
>>44676443
Call the reporter and ask if she wants the rights to your biography, if she says yes tell her you'll send contacts for research (basically everyone we met) and apologize again for calling the guards and fucking her then burning all her shit.
Maybe ask if Steel Dick is her dad really, if yes then mumble something about it only being hotter but weird, then sign off and go to your party.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>44676487
we should run to the nearest planet with the highest females to males ratio or at least a planet full of sexbots
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>44676513
I see you took the deal anon :^)

>>44676487
Sure but we can try to at least make ammends.

Seriously, why the fuck do you fuck with the press? Sure you can be dickish or make funny statements, but directly telling them to fuck off directly fucking their shit up only leads to them fucking your PR up completely.
>>
>>44676552
like right now
>>
>>44676536
>>44676443
Fuck:
Go to your party as in check the preparations, etc. Chat up with the people already there on the job and such, Sheulk, and all.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>44676554
i didn't thats why there is a 33 there>>44676552
>>
>>44676443
Go to the party. Afterwards find a terminal and slice into the chancellors files and find out what the fuck is going on.
>>
>>44676576
this is a good idea and while doing that we should call up our old mando friends
>>
>>44676613
If we end up doing that we can always ask Brixton for help.

Which reminds me, they're all back, right?
>>
>>44676487
CONSEQUENCES ARE FUN
LOOK AT ALL THE PLAYER ENGAGEMENT!

For real though nothing here is unsolvable, and you've proved that time and time again, fuckin out keikaku'd randalll like a mf

so to-do list

Phone reporter apologising and questioning, phone mandos, go to party, hack chancellor's files with brixton's help after party and if it's revealed they're tryna fuck you then skedaddle thru space to a planet filled with skets.

>writing

>>44676637
yee
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>44676673
OR we can find a planet filled with Fem-mandos and fuck ALL of the
>>
>>44676673
I agree with this, though no need to run off right away, gotta see - what - they are planning before you react.

Never plan too many steps ahead
>>
>>44676673
WE MUST FIND THE SKETTIEST SKET THAT HAS EVER SKETTED
>>
>>44676552
Disagree.
Becoming an galactic criminal at large puts all of our friends and kids at risk because they're guilty of association, and it won't be hard to lie that they helped us escape.
Either we go to jail, or all of them go to jail.

We can handle ourselves in a prison, but can Vi? Can Al? I know KJ can, but he can't protect everyone, and they're probably going to be sent to different prisons.

And then we'll be nearly friendless, have Republic, Jedi AND Sith hit-squads attacking us.

Whether we're going to a white collar prison or not, we need to endure it for the rest of our friends.
We should also make amends with the reporter. If we're put into a hardcore prison, when we were told that we would be put into a white collar prison, the PR for the Republic is going to go down. If they prevent the Reporter from visiting us, then they're preventing free speech.
>>44676536
Do this and hope to hell that she accepts our apology. If they prevent any of our friends or our kids from visiting us, the Republic is preventing life-long friends, and a father and his son from meeting.
>>
>>44676735
go say hello to ur mom then
BOYOOOOO
>>
>>44676749
Well said. But we still have to see what we're dealing with, depending on what is wrong it might be a deeper hole than what we're imagining.
Or it could be nothing, and running away would be a very stupid choice.

So basically, wait and see I say.
>>
>>44676749
fine but we should practise our force powers a fuck-tonne while we're in there>>44676756
>>
>>44676756
she's your mom too fucko
>>
>>44676827
She's everyone's mom.
>>
>>44676802
That was already agreed before hand in previous threads.
We would unfuck our relationships with Gazza, Myran and Peter, maybe learn from them.
Hone our force powers.
Learn immortality from the Lady in The Ancient Stone.
>>
>>44676856
Hold on, not agreed but suggested.
oops.
>>
File: carlos.jpg (19 KB, 500x367) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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19 KB, 500x367
You call up the reporter

"Yello?"

"Is that Becki?"

"Ah Kyran, good to hear from ya, someone's been a naughty boy ayy?"

"Yeah, i'd like to apologise for tha-"

"Don't be, now what did you want to talk about?"

"Do you want the rights for my biography?"

"Do i look like a fucking publisher lad?"

"Point taken"

"Yeah, and it's not me you should be apologising to, it's them"

"Them?"

"My art clients, specially that one senator I gave your number to"

"Why?"

"Cos she was freaking out, i'd drawna portrait of ehr dad, some kind of criminal, and the only photograph she had of him was in that notepad and used as a reference, and now she has neither. Well, until I draw it again, perfect memory you see. I could receite your story right now if I wanted"

"Really?"

"No, I recorded it, not so smart now are ya burning my shit?"

"sorry again!"

*click*

Well

That being done you head to the party and walk through the double doors to be met by cheering

"The party started an hour ago Kyran" Kj lets you know

"Always be fashionably late, even at your own party"

"Aha, whatever man"

>what do now?

>>44676827
sorry onii-senpai
>>44676854
she's momnipotent
>>
>>44676892
Don't we have a steel dick portrait from the ship?
If not, we could ask Ranlis since she did research on it.

If we get one, send it to the senator and apologize, tell them we're sorry for burning DAD's pic.
>>
>>44676892
now would be the perfect time to develop a force-power that allows us to entire someone's mind
>>
>>44676961
or wasn't there a treasure or something
>>
>>44677042
if there is we need to find it it might be a map to the giga-sket
>>
>>44676961
I don't remember mentioning it, but it does make sense he has a load of portraits of himself
>>44677007
crazy how nature make dat
>>44677042
the ship's exterior is covered in BDSM art

thread seven was the thread we found the ship in i think so for info on it that would be the good place because i'm retarded and not a good source.
>>
You comm the only person not here yet, Dulgon, who's helping trayce unpack on the ship, to bring the giant portrait of steeldick with him when he comes, since you can just feel in your pores that she's coming to protest, a fire in her voice that only comes with unbridled bad decisions.

You get drinking and mingling and sure enough in no time at all she storms in to the bar next to you

"Do you have any idea how much pain you've caused how much tears have flown today because of your-"

"Where do you want this boss?" Dulgon asks

"Just place it here" you say as he puts it in between you and her, her jaw going agape

"WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?"

"Dad's ship"

"From my dad's ship?"

From DAAD's ship"

"Why do you have my dad's ship?"

Fucking hell

"Because he's my Dad too you idiot, i'm really sorry for destroying the picture I didn't know, from one Steeldick to another, please take this"

There's genuine gratitude in her eyes, "W-what you think this is payment enough for destroying an heirloom of our years togeth-"

"At least you had years together, his money funding your education and lifestyle probably, my mom worked herself to death and the heartache finished her off while we lived in the underbelly of this place"

"..."

She shits down at the bar next to you, telling one of her aides to move the fuck off portrait into her car.

You both start drinking solemnly as the banging club music and high smiley faces bounce around the room

>what do now
>>
I want these quint sevens coming up
i really want them
Fuck
if we get it i'm teleporting us to the world of skets instantly to live as kings
>>
>>44677377
"So how was he like?"
>>
"So how was he like?"

"None of my stepdads came close, my Mom didn't like me seeing him for fear of bad influence, but he either convinced her with his dick for a while, or snuck me out for daddy daughter time, it was the happiest period of ym life" She says downing another shot, "on your tab right?"

"sure."

"I just can't believe the person I called the chancellor screaming about how you should be given the death penalty instead is really my brother, one with such a nice painting"

"See? i'm a good guy, not an enemy of the public"

"You still hung up on me" she jokes as she punches your arm

Wow, that hurt. Don't fuck with this senator.

You take another drink and notice familiar faces in the crowd.

>what do
>>
>>44677561
>Don't fuck with this senator.
"Well it was a really bad moment, it's my birthday but I'm not really feeling it"

"Wanna go meet my crew? The guy who's running in the elections against randall's is around here too"
>>
>>44677561
ask her if he ever told her about any treasure that he's hidden over the years as a pirate those "fake bedtime stories" because we "want to know what he was like"
>>
"Well it was a really bad moment, it's my birthday but I'm not really feeling it"

"Ah I getcha"

"Really?"

"Any birthday that goes bay where I haven't been productive and changed something, or if a project's been stalled, I don't feel like time's advancing and it feels useless as a day"

"Did Dad ever tell you about any hidden treasure on his ship?"

"Not taht I remember, but last time I saw him I was 5 so."

"Huh, wanna go meet my crew? The guy who's running in the elections against randall's is around here too"

"Sure"

You head over to KJ

"Yo KJ, this is my new sister Senator Bigglesa, but i call her Armstrong you say getting another punch from that strong arm, fuck that's bruised.

"Sister?"

"Yeah, I mean, if I really am steeldick's kid"

"Ranlis said you are right?"

"Who's ranlis?" Armstrong asks

"My clone"

"So.. my sister then?"

"Technically?"

"Cool where's she so I can get away from you nerds?"

"Ont eh balcony I think" KJ says

"Cheers" She says legging it away in the balcony's direction

"well" says KJ

>what do now?
>>
>>44677561>>44677561

IS THERE ANY FUCKING TREASURE I JUST WANT TO FIND FUCKING SPACE TREASURE UR DAD MIGHT BE MANDO TOO ASK HER THAT TOO
>>
>>44677775
NOOOO TWO OFF
>>44677778
FUUUUCK ONE OFF

FUCK THIS LIFE

YEAH THERE'S FUCKING TREASURE ON THE MAP INSIDE THE HELMET THE KID LOST ALREADY LMAO
THERE'S ONLY TWO OTHER COPIES OF THE MAP AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE THEY ARE AHAHA
>>
>>44677775
WE SHOULD FUCK A SKET IN FRONT OF EVERYONE PREFERABLY THE ONE MERC FROM BEFORE WHILE WEARING THE MANDO HELMET SCREAMING "FOR THE GLORY OF MANDALORE"
>>
>>44677828
>the kid lost already
I'll shiv you.

>>44677775
Go find the gladiatorial arena and get in to join up for a few rounds.
>>
>>44677833
YOU GAVE AWAY THE MANDO HELMET
AND WHICH MERC?
YOU'VE FUCKED A LOT OF THEM
>>
>>44677828
FUCK WE NEED THOSE MAPS OUR MOM HAS ONE I FUCKING BET OR THAT SENATOR HOE
>>
>>44677872
LMAO NOT EVEN CLOSE NIGGA
ONE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
AND THE OTHER ONE JUST IS WHO HAD ACCESS TO YOUR HELMET, I.E EVERYONE YOU'VE MET
GOOD LUCK
>>
>>44677855
THE ONE WHO ALREADY HAD A KID AND WAS DOING SAFE MERC JOBS TO PAY BILLS THE ONE IN THE PUNK GET-UP THAT WE FUCKED IN FRONT OF A BAR
>>
>>44677907
OH HER?
IF YOU WANNA GO PROUNCING AROUND BARS IN THE UNDERWORLD AND DITCH YOUR OWN PARTY THEN SURE
IF NOT THERE'S pleNTY O' POON tO PLUNDER RIGHT HERE

every hot chick you've ever fuckedhas turned up
>>
>>44677901
FUCK WE NEED TO GET THAT FUCKNG HELMET BACK RIGHT NOW, THE PLAN CAN CONTINUE WITHOUT ITHAT ONE WE CAN STEAL ONE FROM OUR MANDO BUDDIES
>>
>>44677943
CALL HER TELL HER TO COME UP
>>
>>44677943
Could we maybe ya know not fuck some one? Talk to Al and Kj. Comm Brixton to get his sleazy ass up here he has job.
>>
>>44677951
YOU WANNA RUSH THE ONE OTHER MALE MANDO FROM THE MERRY BAND O MANDOS SINCE GARETH AIN'T HERE AND FUCK A SKET IN IT?
FAIRDOES LAD
>>44677979
*ring ring* OH WAIT THIS ISN'T YOUR COMM IT'S A BANANA
MIGHT ASWELL BE SINCE YOU DON'T KNOW HER NUMBER
>>
>>44677979
IT WILL BE ROMANTIC
>>
>>44678021
GRAB HELM PAINT MANDO SYMBOL ON CHEST AND BACK FUCK BITCHES WITCH SCREAMING "FOR THE GLORY OF MANDALORE"
>>
>>44678067
FUCK ALL THE SKETS WHILE DOING THIS ALSO USE THE FORCE DICK
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>44678097
ROLLING TO GRAB HELM
>>
>>44678019
only when we stop being a jerk to everyone who isn't the waifu well we were a jerk to her too so nvm
>>
>>44678124
calm it now lad, you're scaring the children
>>44678130
there is no waifu
you were the waifu all along
---
You comm brixton

"Yes boss?"

"Oi u lazy cunt, you've got a job"

"Do I?"

"Yeah, i need you to hack into the chancellor's files and send me all the relevant information on me"

"Sir that's suicide! Do you know how many norton proxy firewalls the chancellor's office has! It'll take at least 5 minutes to cyber grenade all the Ai's and surf the code!"

"I TRUST IN YOU SOLDIER!"

"YES SIR"

*click*

What the fuck was he on about, you never really got into hacking too much.

You walk around looking for bros and discover beatrice from the mandos nursing a wound, you take the helmet off her head and she nods iron-ly as you put it on and strip to your trousers in the arena

"AND THE NEXT CHALLENGER IS MYSTERY MANDO- NO IT'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY! HOW WILL HE FARE WITHOUT THE FORCE?"

Your opponent has a scimitar

You spot a dagger behind him, a shield between you closer to him, but apart from that, the giant sand pit octagon is bare.

He slowly advances

>what do with 1d100
>specific actions, general actions, words, etc
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>44678222
RUN AND DO A TWO FOOT KICK INTO HIS CHST WHILE HE IS STUNNED RAB HIS SWORD AND EXCICUTE HIM WHILE SCREAMING FOR THE GLORY OF MANDALORE
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>44678222
POCKET SAND!
Where we got it without pockets? They shall never know.

Trip him then use the helmet as an improvised bashing weapon.

If he somehow doesn't get KOd or doesn't get stunned by sand, roll to grab the shield and try to do a guarding advance to corner him
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>44678267
WHAT THE FUCK DON'T DO THIS KICK HIS NUTS
>>
>>44678267
I think the Allahu Akbar screwed your dice.

>>44678222
>>44678280
Oh yeah, shout "TRAITOR" at him and keep telling him about the merits of being loyal.
>>
>>44678293
do this shied bash him
>>
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>>44678293
>>44678267
Really now? Kekd
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>44678308
IT DID MY FRIEND I HOPE I DID NOT KILL US
>>
CRITFAIL ALERT
You may
A. Take the middle number 46
B. Roll a 1d3 to get 1:1 2:46 3:86
C. edge point to roll a singular 1d135 instead
D. take a negative modifier for screaming and changing vote because of critfail>>44678267 >>44678293

D is autopicked, you may pick 1 more.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d135)

>>44678422
C

May Khorne bless my helmet.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>44678308
I JUST WISH THE SPIRIT OF MANDO WOULD GRANT US VICTORY
>>
Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>44678422
MANDO FOR GREATNESS
>>
>>44678422
USE THE FIRST PLAN TOO
>>
>>44678422
By the way the d135 isn't that good, would you consider changing it in the future to a modifier?
d135 may get us higher numbers sure but it's also got a flat distribution with a 1 still in possibility.
While 1d100+15 or even 2d50 would mean either a shifted right distrib or a bell type distrib.
>>
>>44678500
DID YOU NOT SEE THE ROLL I MADE WE CAN WIN MY FRIEND
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>44678447
>>44678473
nice consensus
i should do first come first serve but i'm nice
i'll 1d2 it
1 is >>44678447
2 is >>44678473

also stop screaming now it hurts to read, shieeet

>>44678500
it was +35 at one point but then it's a guaranteed 36 at the very least, and i still want the possibility of fucking up royally.
i like the idea of 2d50 though, next time
>>
>>44678532
oh shit my plan was good sorry WynautQM
>>
52 with negative modifiers
edgelord point burned
---
>>44678552
?
---
You advance slowly too, and dodge his first strike, pulling your helmet off and trying it as an improvised bashing weapon, which he impales through the eyes, giving you the distraction necessary to pocket sand him with average effect, knocking the helmet flying across the arena.

You try and take advantage of this to strike but he wildly swings his scimitar, gashing your arm.

He tries to press so you roll to the shield grabbing it on your left arm, and try a guarding advance.

Unfortunately it's not a good shield and he chips and knocks away pieces of it, even cutting through it and hitting that same gash, effectively neutralising the left arm, and you switch shield arm while he taunts.

>what do with 1d100
>>
>>44678665
>>44678552 ITS ME
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>44678665
Kay. Force push.

Also screw you almost satan.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>44678696
>>
>>44678665
Roll and uppercut him in the diaphragm, get up and strike his throatt, then do a hook check when he flails wildly at you.
Finish him till he is knocked out with a chokehold.

>>44678707
No force use, it's said on the first post of the fight.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>44678716
NO FORCE FORCE RUIN MANDO REP
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>44678733
OKAY THIS
>>
File: 1448270899185.jpg (2 MB, 2000x2000) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1448270899185.jpg
2 MB, 2000x2000
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>44678733
>>44678665
Forgot roll.


>>44678737
... lol
>>
>>44678707
You can't, it's a force nullifying arena.
Sheulk's design
Seems like mosta my intereactions with you sleepy are "i wanna do this" "ya can't" "where's me scotch ya little bastahd" ;)
>>44678696
>>44678716
>what do with 1d100 you shouty fuck
>>44678737
jesus fuck lad put down the dice you've had enough,
>>
>>44678768
i'm scared WynautQM
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>44678768
imma do a test
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>44678733
>>44678768
>finish him till he is knocked out with a chokehold
By this I meant grapple and chokehold till he is KOd

>>44678826
Wow
>>
>>44678790
stop screaming then

Rudebois and rudegyals, correct me if i'm wrong, but on a d20 doesn't 2 round down to 1?
Critfail tiiiiime!

A. Take the middle number 11
B. Roll a 1d3 to get 1:2 2:11 3:33
C. Roll a 1d6 to get 1.death 2.critfail 3.fail 4.draw 5.success 6.crit success

C is a courtesy I won't give again, but ti's dangerous, so you may choose not to take it.

this option is first come first serve so if you want to make the decision that affects the rest of the thread, go on and roll.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>44678882
No bonus from good write ins? Hue.

>2 is rounded down to 1
No it isn't, but some d100 systems use a 5 range for crits so w/e.
>>
File: image.jpg (133 KB, 600x653) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>44678768
Kick him in tha nuts.

Where's me scotch johnny!! Those dern Rodian immigrants better not 'ave made off wit it!! Why in my day they were kept in their place!

Also Chiss girls. Speaking of which ere.
>>
>>44678926
>>
>>44678926
Including modifiers gets weird
and they were ehh write ins
only plans, nothing of real strategic brilliance that made me cum, just plans.
that 6 though, damn son, turned that around.
critfail crit success coming right up.
>>44678928
repeat image, psh, breaking my heart
>>
>>44678992
Well he is an agressive type with a slashing type of weapon. Roll in, disable him with strikes to the weak spots since we can't risk anything too crazy, use his agressiveness against him (check hook, aka the sidestep hook, aka the fuck-this-dumb-ass-negro punch used against agressive opponents in boxing), then choke hold him since you'd be left to his back and not front after that sequence.
>>
>>44678992
That's all you get for being mean and withholding me scotch mikey!
>>
You stop.

You breathe.

You focus.

You just foresaw one possible future ending in decapitation to the horror of everyone.

That's not happening.

You roll forward striking up into his throat, testing his defensiveness with attacks to the side, that aren't in complete danger of getting yourself cut up.

Eventually, you throw the remains of the shield at him and use the distraction to chokehold him, but he swings the scimitar up, cutting your hand off at the wrist in a diagonal cut, with bone sticking out.

Did he just cut your fucking left hand off?

Nah. it's not your dominant hand but that's still your hand

He breaks off and goes for a final charge

Just as you see the white towel thrown by Al fly through the air, you zip around behind him, push the back of his head as hard as you can and with the boen arm at front, pull it backwards through his rapidly accelerating mouth, cutting his head clean in half.

The crowd is in silence

You pick up the scimitar and heat it with nothing but your anger, and cauterize yourself.

"Sheulk, I know you brought me a cybernetic arm just incase, I want it"

She gulps and retrieves it for you, and you spend 30 minutes getting it installed in, anger and pain still coursing through your body, anything you hold in your free hand is almost immediately crushed.

You have to order your drinks through straws.

Finally the new hand is done, a beautiful obsidian with yellow and silver antique patterns and engravements.

"When did you forsee it coming off?" you ask sheulk

"About 3 days ago, for about 3 months away when a door slams on it, I had no idea it was tonight."

"Hmmph" you grunt.

>what do now?
>>
>>44679310
Take a shower with Al?
>>
>>44679378
Mid party? I know you like the waifu but...

>>44679310
Sip a bit of vodka to calm down those nerves.

Go talk to the guests, compliment Sheulk's organization and the arm thing. See how everyone's hanging, Vi, Al, Alicia, KJ, etc.
See who else we know that came around. Talk to the bodyguards about how things are back in Swagooine and Gareth.
See if the kids came to the party, see what people thought of the fight.


I'm wondering why they never clone hands in Star Wars, shit's weird yo, I guess cyberarms are just too cool too pass up.
>>
>>44679447
We're probably bloody as fuck right now and sweaty as hell. Not a good combination for a party least not a respectable-ish one. Which this might be?
>>
>>44679473
>gladiatorial arenas and booze fountains
>exogorth skanks
I am not so sure bro. Plus if there's dancing and music everybody''s sweaty.

Do we have a condom pit?
>>
>>44679500
>Do we have a condom pit?
wtf's a condom pit
>>44679473
You were cleaned up to be sterile for new arm and shit
you're a little sweaty but that's manmusk, and there's dancing so everyone's real sweaty
>>
>>44679593
They have one at my university.
It's a big hole thing filled with free condoms.

"Condom well" might be a more appropriate term.
>>
>>44679447
The. We do this yeah?
>>
You go around and start mingling with the guests

"Ladies"

"Oh, happy birthday"

"Thanks, so what did you think of the fight?"

"When your arm got shredded your eyes changed, you became a beast for the moment"

"A beast? but I don't bite?"

"Truly, like how you've adapted perfectly to the new arm, no rejection or anything."

"I can't reject anything i'm too nice" you say laughing, "You lot need anything don't hesitate to call for me" you say leaving

And wow like 9 identical conversations, boring.

All your friends are doing well, but they're too shocked from what they saw of you killing a man with your boney arm to really feel natural with you right now.

You head by Sheulk and compliment all she's done and even she's on edge at the pure brutality she witnessed.

You find your bodyguards, all who missed the fight.

"Hey guys, how's shit in swagooine"

"it's fine, ya got a lotta teachers there so the academy's doing good so that's good, Gareth's cool too. what happened to your arm?"

"It got cut off in the arena"

"You mean you lost?" Dulgon asks surprised, taking his attention away from polishing his bat for a split second

"No i cut his head in half with the bone sticking out"

"I did the same back in college, remember that elena?"

"Don't remind me" she replies red faced.

Fortunately the kids didn't come to the party, or they'd've seen something truly brutal.

the condom pit is full, no one wants to be seen dipping their hands in there like a presumptuous eager beaver, and some "i'm so wacky because i have no other personality" fratbro jumped in and started swimming around earlier, probably ruining half the condoms.

>what do
>>
>>44679859
See if we got any gifts?
Wonder if you can get cool shit to put in your hand, like those arm blades from deus ex.
>>
>>44679859
Throw fratbro out for ruining the condom pit. Get new ones. Check for presents.
>>
"Hey Elena"

"Sup"

"Can you get cool shit to put in your hand, like arm blades?"

"W-why are you asking me?"

"Both your hands are fake right?"

"H-how did you know! I g-got the eralistic fool people kind1 h-have you touchded me in my sleep or somethi-" She stutters, going even redder.

"I can feel there's no blood in them"

"O-oh, yeah there's augmentations for them, but none you can take to jail with you"

"Blades and shit?"

"Y-yeah"

"Cool"

But then you hear it quiet in the background

"yeah dude i started swimming in all the condoms huhuhuh"

You march over to the noise

"Leave"

"wha- dude?"

"Get the fuck out"

"Hey what's your proble-"

He tries to push you, you shatter his arm boners into dust and spin him around like a tornado and fuck him about 40 feet through the double doors into the street.

"Open the backup condom pit"

and the new pit opens up

You get on the mic

"TONIGHT IS FOR FUN! TAKE A CONDOM, HAND IT TO SOMEONE WHEN STARTING CONVERSATION, IF THEY HAND IT BACK, OH WELL, WHEN YOU WANT TO LEAVE ASK FOR THEM CONDOM BACK, WHEN YOU WANT TO LEAVE WITH THEM OR JUST DO IT WHERE-EVER THEN DO IT!"

Mostly male whoops and claps

You get down and check out your presents.

Mostly just material shit, means kinda to you, new clothes, some jewelery, a new bounty hunter style hat, a stress ball from Ranlis with your own face on it, funny.

And that one's a bomb.

You sniff

A completely deactivated bomb. Whoever put this here underestimated you and wanted to cause a ruckus, there's no way this could ever blow up, wow.

Oh look new socks, thickest warmest socks in the world it looks like.

Oh a locket with a pic of you and al playing that motion control game from the game's camera, cute.

>what do now
>>
>>44680218
Give bomb to guards. Find out who left this. Give them to the cops after a beating. Find everyone who gave a present and thank them and ask how they knew it was your bday?
>>
>>44680218
Dance a bit, maybe see if we can use the new hand to crush full cans.
>>
You hand the bomb off to the guards and tell them yo use their detective extroadinaire skills to find out hwo left it.

They read the name tag

"Becki ;)"

Figures.

You go around tracking present signatures to the people who gave them and thank them all and ask how they knew, the majority are people who already knew you, but those you don't know you per se found out it was your birthday from the news.

You go to the bar to a group of girls and order a full can of drink, and lift it up, and destroy it, getting alcohol everywhere but some in your mouth.

"Wow"

"What's really impressive is my dancing"

"Oh really?"

"yeah, come to the floor and i'll show you all"

And you show them all, you bust that fucking move like that bitch owed you money, and the dancefloor is orgasming after

Fuck you're getting tired

>what do now?
>>
>>44680494
Since we talked augments, funny shit to wonder what other kind of crazy shit they have out there, oh well we'll find out eventually.

>Fuck around a bit more, drink an energy drink
>Find Al and molest her (with consent) while chatting about how you'll miss all of the crew, and specially her.
>>
>>44680494
Go get some Coke. The drink not the drug. Talk to peeps then dance a bit more.
>>
You go back to the open bar and get some Coca Kyrla, and chug it, fuck you're exhausted.

Nothing a little rancor juice won't fix.

Okay, headache's gone but a new headache is here, but you feel alive.

You dance a bit more, but you're showing up every guy, so you leave to make sure they at least have some chance of getting poon and find al.

You start massaging her shoulders from behind and she eases back into you

"I'll miss you yaknow"

"I know" she replies as your hands get lower and lower, "we-we're a bit in the open aren't we?"

"I could leave if that's a problem" you say detaching, and getting pulled back in

"I-it's not"

You explore your hands over her, under her red strapless dress, real expensive shit.

Your lips meet any skin you can reach from this position, and your hands grope everywhere, going under her dress to rub her thighs, and the slit covered by pantsu that your fingers drag up and down through as she thrusts in your grasp.

>what do
>>
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" shouts the announcer, spotlight landing on you, "BIRTHDAY BOY HAS REMOVED THE TABOO OF PUBLIC TOUCHING FOR US ALL!" You're not sure why you're burning, through Al's embarrassment or that spotlight, but you spin it away with the force anyway and keep on molesting, hearing her loud pants barely over the loud bass, her heart beating away like a hummingbird's wings against your own.

She cums all over your new hand, and falls asleep against you, and you leave her with KJ to get some rest, this whole situation can't have been easy on her sleep schedule.

You walk through the now almost orgy you've created of sexual energy everywhere.

Ranlis preferring to watch and molest the rather uppity woman screaming as she gets DP'd, shutting her mouth with differing instruments of silence ranging from her own mouth, her breasts, and share slaps while palming her tits.

Vi is stripping Alicia on the ground who's closing her eyes at the onlookers and still dicks in her hands she's slowly but surely working up the confidence to pump, as the rod between Vi's legs rubs around for some wetness.

You see dulgon trying to figure out how to fug Elena, who stares at you as you move around through the crowds, obviously using you as her inspiration, imagining you inside her, blatantly shouting your name, to confused "where?"s from Dulgon.

You see trayce and armstrong sharing a spliff on a nearby balcony, having a very relaxed conversation, there's two bits of redhair near wulf in a corner, and someone is not inside, having been refused by the bouncers.

>what do

put wrong do in the wrong fucker again, ffs
>>
>>44681117
Check who's not allowed in and see if we allow or not, then go and high five Dulgon while giving him pointers and spitroasting Elena.
Then go and find Vi/Alicia to have fun with them for a bit, maybe do the one/two/one/two deal.

Then maybe go find KJ?
>>
>>44681117
Go find out who wasn't let in. Meet with Brixton to find out if he has anything.
>>
>>44681256
Kj's with Al mate.
>>
>>44681450
I know, but by the time we're done doing all that fuzz he might not be in the same spot.
>>
>>44681256
Good idea backing.
>>
>>44681697
Huh? O-okay
>>
You sense who's not allowed in

It's squeak

You comm the guard to let her in but don't want to deal with her now so head to Dulgon and Elena.

"oh there he is" dulgon says

Elena is moaning pretty loudly, oh yeah she hasn't tried the exogorth yet-

Shit, Dulgon's packing, not exogorth, but decent enough, he doesn't look happy though

"Hey Dulg, what's wrong"

"I just hate using condoms" he says lifting her off and taking it out.

Elena looks really pissed and you laugh a little

"Don't think that because I let him fuck that i'm easy, I have high standards like you, b-but not you, this is just an orgy so that's wh-"

You start kissing her and she turns into putty

"B-b-but your my boss! Unprofessional" she says literally grinding you

You smirk, and put it in her, and she jolts, and pushes you backwards to the ground, riding you, staring deep into your eyes, and trying to take your tongue otu of your mouth

"Can I use her mouth?" Dolgun asks

"Yeah but if you drip anything on me i'm breaking your dick off"

He huffs around to behind her

And jams it in her arse instead, and she instantly climaxes, getting unbelievable levels of tight on your dick.

"Did you just cum from Dulgon putting it in your arse?"

"N-n-no, he's ruining this for me..." she says more turned on than ever

"Well then just imagine it's two me's" you say before you resume movement, a trio fo grunts and pants and sweaty movement sending screams around the building, her getting fucking airtight and turning her pussy into a vacuum, as she cums even tighter forcing 2 deep loads in each hole.

You taste her lips one more time and let her drop off to the side, you high five dulgon as you pull your pants back up.
>>
Next on the agenda you track down Vi and Alicia, who's on Vi's lap and they sit together, squeezing tight, Alicia feeling Vi's strap on reach not as far as she'd like to be honest.

"M-m-master! It's, it's,-"

"Master Ky, i've been training your new bitch for you, i hope you like the work i've done, test it for yourself?" Vi asks

"Don't mind if I do" You say throwing Vi to the side, pushing darkblade onto her back, and slamming in.

she goes to grab you but you backhand her "Not with those filthy hands, touching other men"

"I'm sorry!" She shouts earnestly as you thrust deeper and harder

Vi eyes you both hungrily

"Master i've been a good girl!"

"That you have" you say raising her onto your slave's face, "Slave, if your mistress can get off before you, then you get your breath back, have faith in your master's tongue and work your own"

She struggles at first, but resigns to working her tongue where Vi's arse landed, while you eat her from the front, while slamming into your slave.

She gets tighter and tighter the less air she gets and the sensations make your tongue work better on Vi, her juices as sweet as ever, and finally she cums, followed by Darkblade, followed by you, Vi falling back and Alicia panting and hyperventilating while smiling as your loads find her fertile womb.

You detach and kiss vi goodbye he goes down and starts eating out Alicia while you go looking for KJ.

He's getting head from his girl as he strokes a sleeping Al's hair, best not interrup-

"Hey Kyran, say hi to my gyal"

"Hey"

"Hmph" she replies as he uses her tentacles as love handles, and you leave.

You get a comm message from Brixton.

"found some shit, show you on your ship later, only safe place, biiiig implications, can't message on this, could be bugged"

Weird.

>what do now?
>>
>>44681822
Guess we should go and meet up with Brixton? Sounds important.

Also reminder that Trayce and Athena's relationship could use some work, and they both should be here. We could have the two of them meet up and fix whatever is wrong with their relationship, then go meet up with Brixton.
>>
>>44681822
Go to ship. Get ready to blow everything up for the chancellor.
>>
>>44681798
>show you on your ship later,
Like, after he's done at the party I mean
Man's got three hours of getting drunk and smashing puss in front of him he already missed out on some of it so you could make him hack some shit.
>>
>>44681954
Nope he gets to partake after he shows us. If it's that big a few more hours could be crucial.
>>
>>44681822
Let Brixton relax, go talk with Trayce and Athena like that other anon said.

Maybe take a few pics/vids to post on spacebook. OOH see if anyone filmed our shit at the arena, if we have an official footage we can put it on SpaceLeaks.
>>
So boys we just marrying al? or should we marry the women that we care about who have had our children?
I mean we could justify it to al as If she cannot take the exogorth 6 times a day for the rest of her life and still function than it is neccesary
>>
>>44682094
I think we should see how things progress and how people evolve, how each character's views and desires shift and adapt to the crazy world out there.
I mean Kyran is just 20 and Al's just 18, and Kyran's going to jail (probably) for quite some time, soo....
>>
>>44681822
we could go plow ranlis. or senator armstrong it is kinda our last chance.
>>
>>44682189
Or we could not.
>>
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You call brixton

he doesn't pick up

You text him

"Now Brixton"

"i'm 4 knuckles deep boss, fuck off"

Wow, rude.

You search the halls and go around taking selfies with people, and some pics and vids of the night, there's tens of photographers here, but you want some of your own.

You'll look at that arena footage in the morning.

You spot athena

"Hi Kyr-OWW"

You pull athena by the ear and drag her to where trayce is.

They look at each other awkwardly, it's only at this point you realise both have bruised knuckles and are sporting mudshark sunglasses.

"Well?"

"We already spoke, and no"

"Kiss and make up, like you did before"

"Kyr-"

"Did I stutter though?"

Though apprehensively start lipsing and athena's hand moves to trayce's hip which you point out

"See? You don't hate her, look at you tryna be all romantic and shit"

"I'm not-"

"then what's the fucking problem"

They both look to their feet

"Athena did you tell her"

"Tell me what?"

"I-I-I didn't leave the temple and abandon you... I.. got pregnant, with kyran's child"

*face of disbelieving*

"T-they arrested me, exiled me, b-but i'm a senator now... i only didn't talk to you not because I hated you, but because I didn't want kyran finding out... i'm sorry"

Trayce walks up to her like she's about to deliver a sick headbutt and Athena flinches, but instead is wrapped in a hug

"I'm an auntie, oh my days, i need to meet him! I can't believe it, you've kept your figure so well!"

trayce is bouncing in happiness

"You go home and get the kid ready, i'll be by shortly to meet 'em, I can't wait"

Athena smiles, nods, and runs away

she giggles, "Now the kids gone" She says pouncing on you, "Ready for a repeat of the last two years?"

"Why'd you think I invited you?"
>>
You pull her dress of her body in one swoop, exposing the cold to her on the solitary balcony, staring at the moonlight bouncing off them curves and them thick space-slav squat thighs

You push her against the balcony, leaning her over the side, and thrust full force in.

She bucks and moans, and has her arms around the back of your neck for support and you thrust like an animal with no control,

You squeeze around her back and cup her fleshy firm cheeks and you hammer away bruising both of your pelvis' with the centrifugal force that makes astronauts dizzy, and build up to a climax, pressing you mouth to hers and kissing like pornstars with reckless abandon to where lips and tongues are going before 4 large ropes completely fill her, and burst out, before you pull out again and drizzle her with it.

Damn, every year you lose control like that, must be some kinda crazy perfume she wears.

You throw her dress to her, and she uses it as a pillow, so you kick her awake and tell her she's meeting her nephew, and she jumps up, puts it on, and runs out, limping and slipping in her high heels.

"make sure you shower first you sket!" you shout after her

She middle fingers behind herself at you.

>what do now?

>>44682094
she's stated she'd be fine with tings on the side, but only like once a fortnight or after extended absences from each other, and no lovey dovey, no full on kissing, no eating them out anywhere, do nothing for them you wouldn't do for her, no weird shit, and no bringing hoes back to the house ever, and she trusts you to honour these agreements, so long as you stop impregnating and don't catch anything, i.e, wear a condom with everyone except her. You could always reneg terms, but she was being real generous with those terms so...

>>44682326
paragon of virtue sleeepy
>>
>>44682363
Go find Brixton. Of its important enough for you to say it's big then it's important enough to miss this. If it's that big I'll set you up for a week. Let's go.
>>
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>>44682326
Or we could, no point in preteding to be the good guy who gets the waifu when we can't even refrain from burning people's shit randomly.
Huehuehuehuehue

>>44682338
See if Wulf scored, check on Sheulk to see if she's doing well, as well.
Then just sit on your throne and smile at a job well done.
When people start to pass outt/cum till they drop/leave with mates or sex partners/just generally slow down then go check on the info.
>>
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>>44682430
Never said be good just maybe not fuck everything in sight?

Also i have krishike apparently. Don't know if that's the right spelling but pic related. Guess sister dropped it off.
>>
>>44682499
Angel wings?
Here we call them literally "flipped underwear" but Chruściki seems to be the name you're looking for.
Nobody knows slav languages tho, fucking mystery of nature.
>>
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>>44682591
No clue how to spell the damn thing they just taste pretty good. And that is a fucking hilarious name for'em. Flipped underwear. Fucking kek.
>>
You decide to check on all of your friends, starting with Wulf

Who's deep inside a redhead, score for him, she claws him and he claws her right back.

You check on Sheulk, and she's sitting there sipping tea

"Sheulk? Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah i'm fine"

"Really? Cos you ain't fucking"

"No, i got like 2 months worth out of you the other week"

"Even with all this lust and blood in the air? You don't feel anything?"

"I feel a bit with you around, so go, you're ruining my tea"

"Alright later, just be back on the ship before morning"

"K"

You take your seat on your throne.

You see lots of familiar faces running about, scoring poon.

Becki's running around with a mic interviewing people on the night, really pestering people, and you see squeak head into the bathroom with a total stranger, for what, you're 50/50 on.

You chill for a bit till the fucking dies down and then message brixton

"If I get back after my leisurely drive and you're not here, then I don't know what i'ma do"

"Taken into consideration"

You track the signal and find a computer upstairs that receives messages and sends them to scramble his original location.

Wasteman was on the ship the entire time, which room is he fucking the ting he brought back in? Better not be your room.

You collect your friends that aren't currently banging and take them home (the ones that are banging get a comm message)

you tuck Al into bed, and find Brixton stroking the hair of some gyal asleep leaning on his chest as he browses the web
>>
"Sup ky"

"what's so important about what you found out"

"It's all fake"

"What"

"There's general stuff about raising the good behaviour limit and lowering the actual time in there, and vice versa, but there's misinformation, they're very informal as opposed to their normal letters to each other"

"So?"

"They're decoy letters, made for hackers to look at and shit hackers to be fooled by"

"What's this mean?"

"There's stuff that isn't available or covered in the broad topics in the normal emails, so it's very secret and important, and they don't want you to see"

"Should I be worried?"

"It's standard procedure, but yeah, you should. before theystarted using this method though, since before you came to Coruscant, there's soem weird messages.

"like what"

"Like the secret of-"

You're pretty sure he wasn't about to say "like the secret of the assassin on my chest that yawns and pulls a knife out of her armpit before going for my throat in the blink of an eye, but that's what happened.

>what do in explicit detail with 3d35

>>44682499
noice
>>44682591
lmao
>>44682634
super cute ;o
>>
>>44682773
Did she kill him already?
If not force PULL her and crush her head.

If yes can we try to probe his dying brain, like in the new shit movie but with a fresh corpse?
>>
Rolled 29, 5, 26 = 60 (3d35)

>>44682811
>>44682773
Oh right.

And maybe on retrospect don't crush her head, just fucking break her arms and le
>>
Rolled 10 (1d35)

>>44682773
Grab hand in new one and squeeze. Brixton you be slipping son.
>>
Rolled 14, 34 = 48 (2d35)

>>44682823
Jesus fuck. I can not into rolls right now.
>>
>>44682823
It's 3d tho son..
>>
>>44682849
Look above ya famalam.
>>
>>44682848
>>44682823

>>44682849
combined he made a 3d
lmao
>>
Rolled 3, 15, 33 = 51 (3d35)

>>44682848
>>44682823
>>44682818
>58
>60
Above average I suppose?
Average being 54

>>44682863
I saw ya, good work bruhv

>>44682865
Yeep, also here is another one, this one is dedicated to Queen Lizzy
>>
>>44682886
GOD SAVE OUR GRAAAAACIOUS QUEEN
yeah it's aight scoring
with three dice it's almost always gonna average out at about half which would be 55, 50 being the average dc and modifiers adding or taking away to it.
>>
Rolled 35, 34, 20 = 89 (3d35)

>>44682919
Eh the mid range all has good probabilities, it's just hard af to score on the upper and lower ends.

Bell curves are one helluva drug
>>
>>44682934
Oh fucking really there bluhd?
>>
Rolled 20, 4, 1 = 25 (3d35)

>>44682945
IMPROBABLE DICE ROLLS
Happen only when you don't need them, or when they fuck you.
>>
You force speed and try to pull her towards you but her knife keeps going, too much momentum, so you speed over there and catch her arm in your new robot one, squeezing, squishing ehr hand into her own knife and shredding it.

She yelps and a surprised brixton nuts her. and throws her to the ground, you approach enraged that someone would do this in your house, but he shields her from you

"Step aside she's just a-"

"You don't understand! She, she needs help" He says pulling a pill out of his fanny pack and popping it in her mouth, cradling her and singing amazing grace to calm her down.

"What's going o-2

"Please calm down, she can feel the anger, please!"

You don't want to, but you chill out just fine.

he sits her up and begins talking to her, discussing her problems, she's anxious you're there, but he assures her you're fine and to keep focus on him.

You notice something about brixton, he's wearing a stabproof vest, and that ruff he's wearing? A flexible Mandalorian iron alloy, would've stopped that knife straight, and you crushed her hand, but it swiftly heals.

"Sorry, I spent ages calming her down tonight balancing work on top of it, but mentions of certain words and she gets jumpy, can't control herself, turns her dreams into nightmares which she aggressively snaps out of, like just then"

He strokes her hair and sings some more

"I-i'm calm now" a timid voice says, "but he stinks"

"he'll shower in a bit, don't worry"

"..."

"Are you her carer?"

"Technically yes, but i'm her-"

"Soulmate" she breaks into the conversation unnaturally, "only one who gets me, understands me, legitimately cares for me"

You look inquisitively

"I'm not taking advantage of the disable kyran, i truly care for this girl"

"I believe you"

"Good, she could use some paracetemol"

"How would you know that?"

"Former doctor/biology school teacher"

"Who're those in your head?" She asks

"ignore her" brixton says cupping her mouth, she sees things sometimes.

>what do
>>
switching back to 1d100 instead of that average then crazy spiking weirdness.

lmao nah

we going 10d10 in this bitch next rolling round
>>
>>44683090
Info please. Continue what you were saying. What's going on?
>>
Rolled 10, 1, 3, 2, 3, 10, 7, 6, 4, 7 = 53 (10d10)

>>44683118
>>44683090
Crazy ride?
Next you'll ask for d10000

Anyway, tell him she's right, there are others "in here", they're just me, but not me tell her.
We had some fucked up shit in our head, it's hard to get over it but you work it out, good luck to her and Brix.

Ask him if he can safely relay the info now?
>>
>>44683118
I'M BACK
>>
Rolled 7, 7, 5, 8, 8, 5, 3, 1, 9, 2 = 55 (10d10)

>>44683221
Welcome
>>
"She's right, there are others in here, they're just me, but not me"

She nods "I don't like the one that's looking down my nighty, nor do I like the one who's pretending to wash dishes but is staring at my feet, but that big one that's running around like a cartoon villain calling for my head is pretty funny."

"Maybe i'll let you meet him sometime"

"I'd like that"

"Now what do you think of this one right here? Am I so bad after all?"

"I think this one here needs to shower."

You laugh and lead them to the room Trayce is using and start showering asking brixton to continue where he left off, shoutign over the shower volume

"There's rumours apparently"

"of what?"

"A mechanic claiming knowledge found only on the treasure maps you dad hid, and there's even reports of someone using your dad's techniques for piracy in a copy of this ship"

"You found that in their emails?"

"It's important information, who knows how much money Steeldick had hidden away"

"Huh"

>what do now

yeah i'm gonna go back to 1d100, 10d10 is chaos too.

>>44683221
please no more screamy full caps sentence on some memelord shit, hurts to read.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>44683312
kay
>>
>>44683312
Nothing like I'm gonna be shafted and sent to a federal pound me in the ass prison? Or I'm going to be executed? How does that help exactly? Wait search for a picture or something. Match it to one of Kj.
>>
>>44683331
thanks
also
>what do broooo
>>
>>44683377
were you weedanon all along
>>
>>44683393
No but Kj had use of our ship right? Access to our helmet and was a pirate. Correct? Just drawing some conclusions.
>>
>>44683312
"Well I suppose that info is useful, shame everything on my imprisonement was planted crap. I wonder if The Crew would like looking this shit up while I'm away... That said."

Check with our sister senator, ask if the Republic has any... black ops operations. Maybe we can strike down our time in jail by performing covert shit. They can tell the public we are locked up and we're actually out there as a persona.
COME ON ARMSTRONG, The war economy needs this, it needs US.

We need to inspect the helmet ;-;
>>
>>44683413
Huh that is all true. Well he was a corsair or a privateer or something.

Also find it funny his bitch has tentacles, did he fuck davy jones or is it that twilek?
>>
>>44683434
twilek
kyran doesn't know what they're called
he's only ever refered to them as ease of access points
>>44683413
oh that
nah, they know you have the actual ship, this was a crude replica
if you want to confront KJ about access to your helmet over the years, then fine.
>>44683423
her response would be "i'm one of the good senators they send black ops squadrons after, i can't tell you nothing"
>>
Captain Anders! The pilot yelled
What's happening now rookie? - replied the captain while scratching his itchy gray beard.

We've detected two Z-class marauders coming from behind.

Power up all the shields, prepare to jump to hyper space, we ain't having a battle with such war ships right now, not with this old ship.

Ok sir, understood!.
>>
>>44683478
exciting :O
what happened next?

---

"Well I suppose that info is useful, shame everything on my imprisonment was planted crap. I wonder if The Crew would like looking this shit up while I'm away... That said."

"That said what?"

"Nah, she wouldn't know."

"Who?"

"it doesn't matter, but a mechanic? access to my dad's maps? interesting"

"How?"

"I don't know, how a mechanic had access to my helmet is beyond me, but iI don't remember much from my past, especially with all this rancor juice flowing through my veins right now"

"What" he says breathing fire

"You think KJ is bumming me here dude?"

"He wouldn't hurt you ever man" he says growing scales and wings

"He does the spinning look like room to you" you say head colliding with floor, the feel of the shower water still cascading over you

You awake in a sudden jump, nearly knocking the breakfast in bed off your lap

You look around, not sure which room you're in, since they're all the same, and you don't feel anyone in the surrounding vicinity.

>what do now
>get up and head to courthouse early for trial
>character perspective switch
>turn the tv on
>eat breakfast
>take your vitamins
>go make a sandwich
>write in
>>
>>44683556
>>eat breakfast
>>take your vitamins
>>
>>44683556
>turn the tv on
>eat breakfast
>take your vitamins
>take a bath
>put on some simple but good
>>
>>44683556
we should call our hacker buddie to break into the prison network get us registered as female so we get sent to a womon's only prision
>>
You turn the tv on.

It's cartoons.

You eat your breakfast in peace, and take your vitamins.

A cartoon rabbit shouts a hunter with his own blaster

There's laughter next you.

What the fuck

She looks at you

"Oh sorry" she says turning her force back on so you acn detect her

"Why'd you turn it off in the first place?"

"So I wouldn't disturb you"

"Why are you sleeping next to me?"

"We both did. We looked up rancor juice side effects, extreme cold, so we huddled up with you"

"Really?"

"yeah, that and there's limited beds"

Ah

You go for a bath and when you've come back Brixton is chilling on the bed too with his gyal feeding her soup.

You put on some simple but nice clothes.

"How do I look?"

"Kyran, I did some more digging last night and..."

roll1d100
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>44683649
>>
>>44683646
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8dyRqK06K4
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>44683649
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>44683649
"Tell me doctor, is it cancer?"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>44683649
I'm going to my death aren't I?
>>
>>44683672
eh whats the harm
>>
>>44683698
we'ed be top dog due to having the only live penis for at least a coupla planets
>>
>>44683698
You'll get more than you bargained for if you do

>>44683663
>>44683678
>>44683683
>>44683684
How delightfully disappointingly under average
>>44683711
Eh, if you're lucky.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>44683718
>>
>>44683718
>>44683711
w already get prostitues to pay to fuck us we just set up that again
>>
>>44683718>>44683752
what could possibly go wrong
>>
"I did some digging and I got dirt on your clothes, should be a stain on the back"

You check

"It's clean"

"Oh,the clothes looked like those"

"I thought it was gonna be something important like digging for info"

"Oh I did that too"

"What'd you find?"

"The main contenders for prison are Steelgate maximum security, built to house your dad, some hidden prison in the outer rim, very secretive, high female population, force sensitives, and other dangerous types they don't mind mauling prisoners to death. rumours of experimentaton adn mutilation of prisoners, a bit more Lax security wise, but twice as dangerous, And one I know absolutely nothing about the third other than monsters are there, and that they're trying to get you into a white collar, but i wouldn't trust the chancellor as far as you could throw randall, they seem very buddy buddy"

"Some good info there brixton"

"It's ma jawb"

"Well keep it up before I hire a rodian in your place"

"Good info there kyran"

You smile

>what do now?

>>44683752
assuming they're straight/wouldn't chop it off and haul it around as a status symbol
>>44683799
a lot of things
>>
>>44683841
"And hey, know what would be funny? If among my belongings when I get imprisoned they found a fake map to steel dick's treasure. Do you think anyone would fall for it?"
>>
>>44683841
Okay anyone else thinking we call out some bullshit during the trial?like miscarriage of justice? Open cooperation between Jedi, Republic AND Sith to strike at a planet in the outer rim to put a crime lord in power?
>>
>>44683872
We are not being trialed for that. In fact, they have numerous other charges on us.
>>
>>44683897
We dindu nuffin! It was self defense!
>>
>>44683920
Google whale penis images
>>
"And hey, know what would be funny? If among my belongings when I get imprisoned they found a fake map to steel dick's treasure. Do you think anyone would fall for it?"

"Maybe, but they'd cross reference it with scraps found from other maps for the insignia of steel dick seal"

"They have those?"

"Yep, they might think it's a copy of one though, and may or amy not follow up depending on how well it's drawn"

"I see"

>what do now

>>44683920
apart from the war crime charges and the tapes of you executing people during your mad days and conspiracy charges and murder of larry the cable hutt and recorded confession to the chancellor
>>44683936
why
>>
>>44683936
Nooooooooooooope. Nuh uh. Nein.
>>
>>44683841
if we learned jedi mink trick we could mindtrick people into giving us a lesser sentance
>>
>>44683955
Well if they have that then they have the chancellor saying country club prison. Besides it was all to set up the FAG'T academy!! Besides what war crimes?

The removed the last part and no one will believe the academy part.
>>
>>44683955
"Guess I'm gonna go brush my teeth and drink some OJ to get me ready for my trial."
On that matter, pray to OJ and say goodbye too Brix, oh will he go to the trial to watch or is he staying here to watch via TV? He can use the minibar if he wants too.

>>44683983
Not how it works and he apparently can't learn it.
>>
gonna go take a shit
squabble amongst yourselves
>>
>>44683995
couldn't we turn wookie techno into wookie barry white
>>
>>44684049
at the very least it'll get people slightly happy-er
>>
>>44684049
If you wish to play Barry white while they seizure then that's your prerogative
>>
>>44684089
no i'm saying we see if we can make our wookie techno into something that doesn't melt brains
>>
>>44684049
We can test that sometime kek.
>>
Jedi mink trick lmao

And who's "they" sleepy?
>>
>>44684104
There was the idea of the white noise projector for Za Warudo.

But I believe we got to do a Za Warudo in a different way just by speeding ourselves up didn't we?
>>
>>44684117
no like we focus it to melt the parts that get angry at us
>>
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>>44684111
You know!! They! Them over there!

Chancellor assfuckmcgee.

But really we only learnt what we know of the force from ourselves because whenever we met with Jedi they usually started yelling and raving about blah blah blah and not actually say what we're doing wrong. We have 5! different people in our head. We should be going to a mental health facility not prison.
>>
>>44684104
You can try i suppose
Would take some good rolls and a lot of test subjects tho
>>44684117
Yah but barely
Myran can pull it off tho
>>44684131
Hi weedanon
>>
>>44684111
i meant that i say we turn wookie techno into something comfy
>>
>>44684147
>>44684131
nope thats me
>>
>>44684143
So the people who have the evidence you need are the people who needs to put you in prison
Real nice chiss tho
>>
>>44684162
Hi weedanon
>>
>>44684180
hi
>>
>>44684167
Was hoping that it would sway the great and mighty Wynautqm. Who provides such excellent threads such as this very one. He who provideth much rejoicing and smut. He who is master of fates and destinies. He who is getting his ego stroked by a Sleepy fucking Anon.
>>
>>44683955
Let's goooo to the trial.
>>
>>44684167
we should go to the trail now and try to get a good prison with lots of girls and then find that sexbot planet
>>
>>44684224
and we need to get prison jacked while work on our force powers
>>
>>44684200
I've just taken a shit so don't rim me for your own good

If you want to try and mount a defense with the state appointed lawyer when you said you'd go say "not guilty" for only 5 years then do whatcha want bruv

you can shout out about evidence

>>44684251
squats and lifts brah
>>
>>44684270
squats and lifts
>>
>>44684270
I just wanna go to the trial and see what they say.
>>
The way you figure it, you said your goodbyes at the party.

"Guess I'm gonna go brush my teeth and drink some OJ to get me ready for my trial."

"Goodbye brah"

You head to the courthouse and walk into your state appointed lawyer, a very sweaty first timer, probably bribed to high heaven.

You drop your shit at his feet.

You walk straight past him into the courtroom where the chancellor is on the judge's stand.

Fuck

"Ah, since the defendant is so eager to get started, let's begin"

You seat in your seat and two special forces officers, republic blue armour edition, are on either side of you.

You also feel restricted, like the tech sheulk was using is in effect here, fuck.

"So, Kyran Ollis, in the crimes of manslaughter, murder, various war crimes, kidknapping, extortion, conspiracy, arson, propaganda and disinformation, and others, how do you plead?

>Guilty
>Not Guilty
>Sorry
>What happens in vegas stay in vegas baby
>I forgot I couldn't do those
>write in
>>
>>44684348
>Wait before I answer could you please clarify a few of those occurrences for me? Because my memory is spotty due to... you know.
>Extortion? Here? Back in Swagooine?
Also what the fuck, why would propaganda be a crime? No need to question him on that but... what?
>>
Is Swagooine outside of Republic jurisdiction? If it is, they can't charge us for the thing we did there, Swagooine's justice system has to, right?
Unless Star Wars justice systems are fucky and that's not the case.
>>
>>44684403
Swagooine is hutt space.

Also I just got a crazy idea that we could've implemented but now it's too late.
>>
>>44684418
It's never too late
paused writing
speaketh bruvva

>>44684403
The republic and empire both consider themselves the law and order, the one true just cause in the wasteland of space.

They assume jurisdiction anywhere they please.
>>
>>44684441
No no it literally is too late, it was something for back before we even speaked before the council. Just go on, I'll keikaku something else.

Also grab some munchies.
>>
"Wait before I answer could you please clarify a few of those occurrences for me? Because my memory is spotty due to... you know."

You signal the bellboy and he brings you a pack of crisps which you eat to the gall of the spectators.

"Murder, one jedi master, Baka gave you up for immunity once we found the bbody, and your DNA is all over it"

Bugger

"Propaganda and disinformation, lying about a poor boy being gunned down when he was a highly trained agent in order to garner support"

Double bugger

"What about extortion? Here? Back in Swagooine?"

"Extortion, your movements pressure on people to fund your business, with terror tactics"

Triple bugger

"Now, how do you plead?"

>Guilty
>Not Guilty
>Sorry
>What happens in vegas stay in vegas baby
>I forgot I couldn't do those
>write in

>>44684450
alright, what was it?
be fun to hear, who knows, maybe something similar might come up and you can use it again.
>>
>>44684388
I guess agreeing with this.
Ask to have all of your crimes, and what they were exactly, read for you.
Don't ask in a condescending manner either, ask in a quieter tone, polite, calm.
>>
>>44684348
Whoa whoa whoa. What are all the charges? Kidnapping who? Propaganda and disinformation? How are they crimes? What war crimes? Also I have five people in my head sooo I might not have been the one to do it?
>>
"If you don't answer the question you will be held in contempt of court, this is no way for a man to behave, only a child, honestly"

"Now, for the last time, how do you plead?"

>Guilty
>Not Guilty
>Sorry
>What happens in vegas stay in vegas baby
>I forgot I couldn't do those
>write in
>>
Wait we have that punk rocker bounty hunter chick on spacebook.
>>
>>44684487
>Guilty
It's not like we can fight the Chancellor.
And we actually did do those things. I don't recall Extortion, but I do recall spread of propaganda/disinformation, and murder.
>>
>>44684487
It would've been basically implicating certain people in a certain act that is pretty illegal and would basically be worth a shitstorm. And I'm not saying more because I'm afraid of you, Wyanut.


>>44684522
Jesus christ wait five seconds for the replies fucking damn it.
>I plead Guilty.
>>
>>44684522
Whoa whoa whoa. What are all the charges? Kidnapping who? Propaganda and disinformation? How are they crimes? What war crimes? Also I have five people in my head sooo I might not have been the one to do it?
>>
>>44684554
>Jesus christ wait five seconds
Never!
>And I'm not saying more because I'm afraid of you, Wyanut.
I don't bite, i'm essentialyl a living punching bag
ya don't hafta be afraid of meeeee laddie
>>44684532
on the public one with thousands of friends and you never learnt her name
---

You start to open your mouth to question more, and then realise the futility, as being held in contempt of court just equals more jail time.

"I plead guilty"

"There we go, wasn't so hard now was it?"

You stink eye him and he retracts a little.

"Now, since you plead guilty like a gudboi, there's no need to review evidence, and you admit to your crimes, given the extent of some of them, and the lives lost and ruined, I think it's fair to see, 18 years in prison, 12 with good behavior"

"HANG ON YOU SAID 5 YEARS GOOD BEHAVIOR"

"Calm down now"

>what do in explicit detail with 1d100
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>44684602
"Hang on a sec, you have to remind of the attenuating factors. I accepted a deal, I turned myself in, in fact I even stopped the war and signed a ceasefire just to come and hand myself in a silver platter.
Beyond that, while I chose not to use mental illness as a defense, the verifiable fact that I have a very severe case of multiple personality disorder should also serve as an attenuating factor.
So maybe we could look at a further reduced time along with some time in a mental health faciility?"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>44684602
Force him to tell everyone the deal. Five years with good behavior in a country club prison.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>44684644
If he forces our hand we can always -insinuate - to reveal that he was meeting us in secret and making pre-judgement deals, since we got the fake mails that agreed with the fact.
While it'd be hard to prove it would be career threatening and possibly ending.
Presidents have fallen for less.
>>
>>44684602
So you were in randalls pocket all along, how much did the slug pay you? since i can't press charges anyway and i am sure you have turned the recorders off by now.How much? did he promise the return of the status queue?
>>
>>44684642
a deal we accepted in front of the entire senate no less.
>>
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>>44684681
We accepted a trial to stop the civil war in front of the senate but the prison term was I his office.

Chiss hotness to bribe for leeway??
>>
Rolled 4 (1d5)

"Hang on a sec, you have to remind of the attenuating factors. I accepted a deal, I turned myself in, in fact I even stopped the war and signed a ceasefire just to come and hand myself in a silver platter.
Beyond that, while I chose not to use mental illness as a defense, the verifiable fact that I have a very severe case of multiple personality disorder should also serve as an attenuating factor.
So maybe we could look at a further reduced time along with some time in a mental health faciility?"

"You really don't get anything do you?
None of this was televised
Everyone in this room is in on the conspiracy
You know what, since you want mental help, i've heard there's some good lobotomies the Sith provide, so you can go to a Sith prison, you're good appeasement. Off to the new experiment and monster prison I've heard so much about you go."

"So you were in Randall's pocket all along, how much did the slug pay you? since i can't press charges anyway and i am sure you have turned the recorders off by now.How much? did he promise the return of the status quo?"

"I don't care about Randall, that slug's salted in his own house, i pulled the trigger myself. I just want peace to my galaxy"

"Be reasonable, 18 and 12 for being good is too much"

"I suppose, 15 and 10, is that better?"

"That'll do, any chance of parole?"

"after the first 8 years the parole board will come, at least i'll get the Sith to agree to that, don't know if they'll hold up on it though"

>what do now?

>>44684697
I really wish i could give more leeway, but he's been evil the whole time
that's really nice though so i'm removing the death trap gimmick from the monster prison

rolling for prison gimmick
>>
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>>
>>44684764
Jesus sleepy you're making me feel guilty now
Don't know where you get all the good chiss from, but you're tugging my heartstrings bruv
>>
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>>44684777
>>
>>44684763
"Oh yeah by the way, if you wanted peace then why did you guys start a war on behalf of that shit? Could've just called me up.
Well we are past that, so, uh have fun? Bye now."
>>
>>44684777
lifts and squats my friend
>>
>>44684777
Well I guess we can see if the Sith want a faceless assassin then.
>>
>>44684814
and wookie reggie
>>
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>>44684763
So there was no Randall after the outburst in the senate? You know you could go far in the sith. Just switch sides and bam!! Galaxy more or less at peace. Fuck even some Jedi work with the sith. Of course you'd have to put down a couple rebellions here and there but that's when you use the sith themselves and wear them away and just subsume them. Same with the Jedi. I mean that is your overall goal right?

Best Chiss in pic.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>44684823
>>
>inb4
"You are wrong senator, the only way for peace... is EMPIRE"
>>
>>44684777
lets moonwalk out singing wookie reggie giving the equiv of the middle finger also trips seven
>>
>>44684802
fuuuck
>>44684831
came like 8 times
---

"So there was no Randall after the outburst in the senate? You know you could go far in the sith. Just switch sides and bam!! Galaxy more or less at peace. Fuck even some Jedi work with the sith. Of course you'd have to put down a couple rebellions here and there but that's when you use the sith themselves and wear them away and just subsume them. Same with the Jedi. I mean that is your overall goal right?"

"Overall goal? taking you out was Randall's goal, but for the common good, i finish it"

"Oh yeah by the way, if you wanted peace then why did you guys start a war on behalf of that shit? Could've just called me up.
Well we are past that, so, uh have fun? Bye now."

"Huh, I spose so"

You 360 spin and moonwalk out, singing Wookie reggae roars that make you seem disabled without appropriate context.

You let yourself be taken away and are tazed out by both guards.

You awake coming off of sedation on a table

It's that torturer from Endor

He's too buys calming down his companion that your friend Gareth isn't with you, apparently she still has the ptsd's at him cumming on her during torture.

You keep forgetting gareth was a maniac way back when

they don't yet realise you're awake it seems.

>what do

>>44684823
>wookie reggie
>My AUAHRUWAHUW is ready.
>>
>>44684885
"OH MY GOD STOP OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH FUCK YOU SICK FUCK OH MY GOOOOOOOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOPPPP AAAAH"
Tell gazza to wookie techno Kyran till Kyran passes out. They won't know what didn't hit them.
>>
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>>44684885
Wookie rave party. Fuck it time to kill the damn chancellor.
>>
>>44684885
time for more wookie and/or force dick power
>>
>>44684913
>>44684907
>>44684901
ttbh they prrobably have the forrce nullifier thing here as well so even self wookieing is useless
>>
>>44684885
hold on
Are we even bound to the table? Do we have one of those force-nullifying things on us?
>>
>>44684922
May as well try it. But I want to kill the fucking chancellor. No fucking warning that oh hey he might be up to shit just nope fuck you. Just he was the bad guy all along. I hate shit like this especially after Randall.
>>
>>44684922
no it's time to show them the destructive force of a fully operational wookie marley fan
>>
>>44684907
Hate to break it to ya, but you're kinda in the outer rim right now.
Stop making me break my own heart here!

>>44684932
Yaaaaah
they had one last time in like thread 3
a loooooong time ago
and yeah you're bound
they're not taking chances with ya

>>44684949
there was warning, and if you escape or send a message out the chancellor may yet die
>>
>>44684977
Bullshit there was. What the evening before when we get told of a fake steel dick ship? Dude wants his treasure. Assholes but not evil. Cutting deals with people I his office? If he didn't I'd think he was incompetent.
>>
To be honest I don't think we can blame the Chancellor.
He's just doing what he thinks is right, and he's a politician, hence the political maneuvering and such.

He doesn't know us personally.
All he has is what we have done, and we've done a lot of bad. We even took over and ruled an entire settlement, basically. We had the potential to be a huge threat to both the Empire and Republic.

Doesn't stop us from hating his ass though.
>>
"Hey gazza, I need you to-" "Won't work, already tried it on petey. myran's well pissed off since he can't practice his mudamuda thing" "why not?" "force is restricted here" "You think i can still break out?" "just coming out of a 4 week sedation during a long hypserspace journey? not a chance"

You try anyway and move your hand, nothing

Now they notice you're awake

>what do

>>44685009
it happens bruv
man outkeikaku'd you
not like the senate building where you could be all "i give up my leadership"
man's a sidious
somewhere with no real witnesses, plead guilty so instant verdict, went in without checking the place for traps, bodyguards have made you sloppy senpai.

>>44685026
yup, hate away, it'll make you strong while you wait out
though you may not be in here forever
>>
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>>44685026
No he's a dick. But we couldn't even do anything in the trial besides sit there and take it like a bitch.

>>44684977
Also I'll make yer farkin heart break!!!!!
>>
>>44685044
Ya coulda fought back, made a break for it.

With those rolls, if you fought instead of talked you'da made it to the door.
>>
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>>44685043
Hsiahajzhzhshsjjsshhdksbaisbdbbdnd jzjdhsjjsjsnsisijdmzh doixneurjanzjsjejejjsjsnd!!!!!!!!

And yes I am become salt.
>>
>>44685043
"Desculpa señor, pero no hablo el idioma basico, soy el señuelo del señor Kyran"
>>
>>44685067
Lamento* fuck I don't know spanish for shit
>>
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>>44685056just going for max heart break right now.
>>
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But really not one of the crew looked into it? At fucking all?
>>
>>44685056
wait if the girl's afraid of cum couldn't we just i don' know lay back and think of someone
>>
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Also really tired and EXTREMELY SALTY.
>>
>>44685142
They'll probably notice in 5 years, or they'll catch a hint or tip from an ally, like say Ranlis. Or maybe they'll just find out via Brixton or w/e.
That or the chancellor ordered them killed.
>>
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Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>44685169
This was always a possibility Sleepy, sadly.
>>
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>>44685056
Yep except with what time limit? You posted incredibly fast with barely any time for discussion. Not like usual at all. Also no power girl pics for you.
>>
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>>44685170
Wouldn't put it past him. It would ease a lot of problems for him.

>>44685192
When? I still like the quest but the amount of salt from me is so bad I could position the entire worlds water supply.
>>
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>>44685211
Salt is interfering with typing. Poison not postioning.
>>
>>44685109
I'm SOOOoRRRRRY
---

"Desculpa señor, pero no hablo el idioma basico, soy el señuelo del señor Kyran"

the torturer sighs

"Did you mean Lamento?"

"Si señor"

"Kyran, i know you speak English, look it doesn't matter because we're dropping you off now"

They strap a hannibal lecter face mask to you, and wheel you out on a gurney into the prison, and to your cell, where a force collar of the highest grade is applied, then you are pushed in and the door is locked

You see your cell mate's chose bunk is the bottom one, but he's sleeping underneath it in the fetal position

>what do

during the break i'll list off the gimmick's for this place the 1d5 that rolled 4, didn't pick

1. the brain parasite that thrives off endorphins that forces spontaneous dance numbers
2. the beast riding training facility where the prisoners fight for food
3. The superhuman testing facility,
4. ???
5. death island

>>44685196
>>44685169
with all the qt and classy chiss you're posting, i don't need power girl
if you wanted talk, shoulda picked "not guilty" but two votes for guilty so unlucky chum.
>>44685170
he won't survive a year at least, and you probably won't even go 5 years in here once they find it.
>>
Wow would you look at what page we're on
intermission quest, continue this quest, or go off for the night?
>>
>>44685236
I will rape your corpses and defile your mothers!! This place will not hold me!! I will fuck your faces and kill the chancellor!! You will not beat me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly out for now. Feeling better too. Still salty though.
>>
>>44685236
continue
>>
>>44685211
>when
The moment we accepted the deal and showed up it was a possibility that we'd be double crossed.

>>44685236
>wat do
Exercise. Push ups, sit ups, pull ups on the bed, planks, upside down push (overhead press except you're pressing the world)
>>
>>44685257
kk
so
>what do
in the meantime to start next thread with
>>44685255
goodnight bruv
>>
>>44685236
Voting for intermission as a random new char kek
>>
>>44685248
Continue pig fucker. Ride this big down into the depths like your very own soul! I will hunt you down and tickle your bum otherwise! Also please?

But it seems like whenever we try to be a good boy you seem to duck is over a barrel with no lube.
>>
>>44685269
work out look around to see what the gimmick is and see if any skets are here
>>
File: image.jpg (51 KB, 519x633) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
51 KB, 519x633
>>44685269
Out of pics not going to sleep bruv. Can't get rid da me that easily.
>>
>>44685286
Eh we get fucked being evil too.
>>
>>44685301
oh
>>44685286
you grew up on teh mean hard streets, man ain't got no time to be nice on the streeeeets
>>
>>44685331
search for skets and secrets
>>
>>44685341

Get yo asses in here
Thread replies: 388
Thread images: 34
Thread DB ID: 393406



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