I flinched so hard that my face is somewhere around my crotch right now. Which wouldn't be a total waste if it wasn't for the fact that due to the whole flinching business my dick is stationed on the back of my head.
>>44625430 Why does this always happen? The "new girl" always wants to be somthing so fucking stupid: >Ok, I want to have fire eyes and white hair I can control >I want to be a horse >I sit and play with coconuts :D
I refuse to believe these people are legitimately living with mental blocks on imagination. Its like they are fucking afraid of being creative, yet want that sweet sweet white knight attention bucks.
Also hate when "someones friend" joins and the friend tries to coach the new player like a second fucking GM. Dont talk over me, and dont fucking argue with me to allow something to favor a dumb decision by the new person. Experience is the best teacher, not coddling.
>>44625522 Yo, sometimes, a well behaved kid is fucking awesom in a group (for fun, not for long term). Just the difference in thought patterns is amazing. Sometimes adults WAY overthink shit, were the kid can point out the solution no problem. Its also funny watching the group try and fix everything the barbarian with a literal childs intellect shakes up.
>sorry I'm late, printer ran out of paper and i had to go buy some more >anyway, here's my 400 page background for my character. youll note that i've listed inherited ancestral heirlooms in appendix 4a and you can find a detailed listing of the mother's side of the family's servants in article 3. >anyway, here's my sheet, it's a Fighter, first level, hope it works with the group composition.
>>44625509 rather be a human fighter than some kawaii desu shitter speshul snoflaik who cant stand not being the center of attention for five seconds and has to be silly, crazy and RANDUMB because its funny xD
>>44625611 >rather be a human fighter than some kawaii desu shitter speshul snoflaik who cant stand not being the center of attention for five seconds and has to be silly, crazy and RANDUMB because its funny xD
>>44625513 I've never actually had this problem. The only problem I ever had with girls on the table was their extreme shyness to the game. They knew how to play the game and one even optimized her shit, but they were pretty terrified to contribute for some odd reason. I only had one boastful one who played a Female Human Fighter who ran after Male Elves with hearts in her eyes, but she was the only one open in any of my sessions.
>>44625579 fuck that guy and his opposite: No story guy
>Set up elaborate plot hook that ends with a very obvious throw back to a specific players back story >Big reveal comes up >Other players "oh shit!" >That guy: What? >That guy: Oh, I actually just took that back story from something I read lol (actually says fucking lol) So I have no idea who that is.
>>44625579 I fill out a 100 Questions sheet for every character that I make. I don't expect the DM to read it. I don't expect them to even care. Most of it will probably never even come up in game but its fun to brainstorm and helps makes the character more consistent in their behavior when I RP.
>Hey, hope you don't mind but I've made my character my homebrew race of [ANIMAL] crossed with [EXISTING RACE] >its got +4 to strength, dexterity and con but takes a 2 point charisma penalty and has no LA.
Any unexpected new player can join as a fighter in any party any time they want and it barely makes any difference (just have to add like 3 extra crappy monsters or up size/age category for a single monster to rebalance any given random encounter).
Sometimes joining as a thief mid session is okay too; freeing thief from a cell in the dungeon or having it show up doing a sneak attack in a monster during a random encounter are both classics. You leave the existing random encounters as is and instead place some extra traps all over the place, maybe add a random encounter with small distracted patrols of 2-3 creatures each for the thief to figure out how to circumvent or attempt dispatching alone using sneak attack.
Anything else is harded to accomodate, and optmized magic users in particular are a big no go.
>Here's my character he's CN >What's wrong with CN i'll work well real good with the all-good party >trust me I've been playing these games for a long time i know how to work with a group ... >I STAB THE KING!
>>44625430 >fire princess >not building them a +0 level adjustment fire gensai with the eefriti bloodline >not building her a desert wind swordsage or if she doesn't want to use a sword, using the swordsage Mage variant class and writing "flamesage" on her character sheet >not printing out her special abilities on little cards >not making her an actual princess who decided to go adventuring
>instead saying "no these are the eight races and if you're a fire powered sorcerer you will be weak versus red dragons" knowing full well that they won't be fighting anyone with fire resistance >stifling a new players creativity and forcing them to do something which doesn't resonate because it's not in the core books despite being fully aware that the idea a player has is not only feasible but could be played quite powerfully Fuck you
>>44625680 >GM Shadowrun game in college >Guy hears about it and wants to know if he can join in with a character he has played with in past games >"Yeah sure, whatever bro" >Brings me this edgelord mercenary with all sorts of homebrewed weapons and magical artifacts that he gained from previous games >Character also knows multiple Great Dragons on a first name basis and are super chummy with them because he has worked with them before >mfw
He then got all pissy and stormed out and we kept playing without him. I place partial blame on myself for not reviewing his character before inviting him to game, but I place the rest of the blame on that guy because he was an autistic cunt.
>>44625778 >one person has system mastery and a vague memory of things from twenty splatbooks >one person has unbridled creativity I always sit with my new players while they're first making their characters. I mean I have to, because I get them to roll for their ability scores, but understanding what a player wants to do when making a choice is important
>>44625818 I did this before. My character was MC from Monster GIrl Quest. When the DM finally realized what was going on the next session he introduced a monster girl dragon waifu to the game and I "accidentally" lost. My character is now retired, happily raising six children with his loving wife.
I have a guy at my group that joined recently (a friend of one of the players) who fucking says 'lol' out loud. Not even like, 'ell-oh-ell' The motherfucker says 'lole' and I want to murder him every time
>>44625859 I dont know man, GM's helping players beat off by playing imaginary creatures to have sex with seems a little strange. Like sending your bro links to porn your currently diddling to. While in the same room.
>>44626017 >that fucker who doesn't use a coaster >that fucker who eats cheetos then handles books >that fucker who forgets to flush >that fucker who crashes on your couch after the game >that fucker who fixes himself a snack from your fridge >that fucker who rolls his dice before he decides what he wants to do >that fucker who lies about his HP and spells >that fucker who reads facebook when it's not his turn >that fucker who saves his coughing for other people's turns >that fucker who shows up half an hour late every time >that fucker who shows up early and invites himself into your house >that fucker who calls you during work or sleep and asks you questions about EXP or items >that fucker who chitchats with the other players when he's not taking a turn >that fucker who farts loudly and denies it >that fucker who sighs a lot when it's not his turn >that fucker who wont roll stats in front of you and claims he got lucky and got three eighteens >that fucker who discusses strategy with the other players out of character >that fucker who gets up to get something but convienently passes behind the DM every time so he can sneak a glance >that fucker who reads the modulebooks so he knows whats going to happen I could list more but god damn.
>>44627105 I was actually listening to Across the Stars, and as soon as I realized what I was reading I thought that the effect should be hilarious. Only, it wasn't, but I couldn't let an opportunity like that go by, and since the thread is already shit (it is made of an inability to handle social situations and AIDS), I thought I'd post something we should see more of. In a sense, it was the cancer that killed /b/, and then the rest of 4chan, but by now I'd say we've gotten to a point where Cancer Classic beats Cancer Modern. Sort of like Changeling.
>>44625713 >Two session later >"John are you masturbating to your own character- is that an dog dick dildo?" I've seen enough dombabbies to be fooled by your "oh no it's not my furry fetish, it's big and scawy and just want to gobble all you people up ;)"
>>44627348 Thanks The first 14 should be mandatory: >1.What is your full name? >2.Where and when were you born? >3.Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) >4.Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? >5.Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. >6.What is your occupation? >7.Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. >8.To which social class do you belong? >9.Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? >10. Are you right- or left-handed? >11. What does your voice sound like? >12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? >13. What do you have in your pockets? >14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
>>44625652 I sort of have this problem with most of my group.
Even the experienced RPers I played WoW with sort of sit there with dick in hand rather than RPing among the group. I'm not the DM so I don't have much power, but other than prodding them with an RP stick how the fuck do I get them to interact? Most of them ignore table manner, but I like playing with them anyway, it at least gets laughs.
>>44627899 its a venn diagram of bad players ive dealt with as forever-dm. im blessed to have three people who aren't shitters, and im fortunate enough to have had several people come and go that were pretty chill (usually staying for eight or nine sessions, short-run characters, most coming back later on for more game.), but man there are just some really godawful people that come through those doors and join the game. I have a pretty open-door policy and am fairly open to most player characters (save for blatant cheese) but holy shit I should start getting some psychological screening for some of the people that have came too. Had one guy get so upset that a character he made (A barbarian with 12 strength) got wrecked because he charged into a group of enemies and got axemurdered. Dude was so mad he left and smashed my driver's side front window on the way out. I had offered for him to reroll or use a pre-gen character I had (i usually keep a small binder of about fifty pre-built characters for join-n-play) but nope, fuck you and fuck your car m8. Shit's sad.
>>44627575 Knowing the people I've played with, I'll likely get this:
>1.What is your full name? Jace Oakenshield >2.Where and when were you born? 25 years ago on [name of continent] >3.Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Aladdin and Jasmine, farmers, quiet and humble. They're dead. >4.Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No >5.Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. I am a wandering adventurer with no home >6.What is your occupation? Adventurer >7.Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. 6', brown eyes, medium brown hair, muscular, scar across eye >8.To which social class do you belong? Adventurer >9.Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? No >10. Are you right- or left-handed? Right >11. What does your voice sound like? Charismatic >12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Fuck yes Fuck no Fuck you >13. What do you have in your pockets? Gold and weed lol >14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Prideful and greedy
In short, surveys only help people who aren't already complete dogshit
>>44629212 Honestly when it's a situation where it's either in combat and not my turn, or out of combat and it doesn't make sense for me to butt in yet, yes I do sit there like a robot. I'm enjoying the other players' actions (or screaming in agony on the inside), and looking for a way to meaningfully interact while respecting the rest of the party. Being quiet and attentive goes a long way for keeping the game on track.
>>44625513 Well, part of it is they may just be entirely new to tabletop on a whole, so you end up with the first character. The one people look back on and wince at the fact they made this later on. Or they are thinking in broader strokes still, trying to get the fluff straight and seeking help for the crunch, which I find happens a lot when you introduce someone to a new system. That is why I ask them to give more detail when they drop a char like that, an example of how they expect to play, and go from their performance to either approve or deny a concept.
I've never played a TG before. What would my alignment be?
>halfling thief (rage issues (t.barbarian?)) >first memories are of mother getting killed by thief lord >mostly stole food and goods for self or to give to gang leader >incredibly worried about food >killed gang leader after he did [horrible thing] >met party at age 14 due to EVERYONE MEETS IN THE BAR while I'm trying to steal
keep in mind due to starvation and youth conflicts I only have a rudimentary understanding of good (isn't hurting me or mine) but am not outright evil or edgy.
What would I do? True neutral? If I say Chaotic Neutral everyone's going to think I'm an edgemaster. Again keep in mind I've never played anything and I'm throwing a hypothetical out since I'm not in a game or invited to one
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