Metropolitan Quest #4: Melts in Your Hand, Not in Your Mouth

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http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Simple_D6_-_Third_Edition
Twitter.com/AlphaGatsby

CHARACTER SHEET
Name: Morgan
Concept: Bounty-Hunter
Quality: Charismatic(ish)
Skills: Parkour, Basic Self-Defense, Firing Low-Caliber Guns, Chemistry, Seducing Women, Stealth, Disguise, Knives, & Golemancy
Aspects:
Combat 3 Defense 8 HP
Social 1 Defense 6 HP
Majyyk 2 Defense 5 HP
Special Ability: Silver Knife of Lust, Fireball, Golemancy
Possessions: Leather Jacket, Silver Knife, MP3 Player, Pistol, Double-Barreled Shotgun, Nerf Football riddled w/ M80s, SMG, Running Shoes, Shitty Flip Phone, appropriate ammunition, among other things.

>>32898678
SHIT OP i missed thread 3 any archive?

Or just like a recap?
That shit sounded fun

>>32898659

When did we fight fucking semen demons, Gatsby?

What sort of bus-side delusions did Morgan have between these threads?

Lets go out and get some decent clothes maybe put a gun in someones mouth and demand they tell us where the most fancy restaurant in town is

>>32899681
We've already got that one.

In our pants of course.

We are now no longer a semi-plot virgin.

We've sampled super soldier.

And killed her. With the phallic representation that a gun is. Thrilled and killed.

>>32899715
Don't we still look like mavrick from topgun?
In the same outfit weve been wearing for DAYS?
I dunno i missed the last thread sounded fun
Also blowing the soldiers brains out after we seduced her and leaving her dogs to starve to death was fucking brutal
Hate to see how we handled the hippies Better than the goth kids?

>>32899637
https://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/32755073/
>>32899668
Obviously sometime between now and when we tripped out on the bus. We still have that MP3 player, it's come in handy in terms of concentration on the job.
>>32899681
Decent clothes? Along the lines of what, like, a suit? It's been a long, long time since you've worn a suit. Also you don't suspect that forcing a 'gun' in someone's mouth would be best for public image. Wet Works legally covers murders of most any caliber, but non-consensual sexual conduct on the job is frowned upon. And actually illegal.
>>32899715
You made me smile.

>>32899751
Someone will come save the dogs.
From a slow death by rendering them into fast food.
Dog meat is a precious resource, you know.

Now, do we have job?
Are we still employed?
I need it straight up.

>>32899753
Alright well we got 100k to blow shopping spree?
Maybe take Alison to six flags?
I get so many blowjobs when i take dates to sixflags its ridiculous get a season pass its worth it

Also lets try to invest our money in an apprenticeship to a wizard or something and new better gear maybe some cyborg implants fuckit we got L O D S E M O N E

>>32899822
Why would we spend ANY money on her?

She didn't even have sex with us when we offered. Us. The conqueror of this country's finest soldiers and gay bars.

If there's nothing on the plate, it's wizard research time.

>>32899852
Well we always have the recipe for chloroform but i still suggest chloral hydrate chloroforms bigger badder brother
If we Woo her maybe we can take her on the next job and use her as a human shield

Maybe we could spend some money on a bitchen van with free candy key'd on the side or something we do need a car

>>32899889
I say, she stays here. We become a wizard with the power of Google.

Then we try out our ever move glorious LUST spells on her.

She's got /d/ bookmarked still. She won't be able to take the power of Slaanesh.

>>32899889
When the fuck did we fight
LARPers
one reality bending guy with a clockwork device
and semen demons
reading over the archive all we did was brain the sexy soldier

>>32899751
The hippie and Benjamin Franklinstein and Eldritch horror thing didn't happen in-thread. There's been a timeskip between the last thread and now of approximately a week.
We have been dressed as Mavrick from Top Gun for exactly a week. You decide to get up and go to the bathroom to stare into the mirror, wash your face, and contemplate yourself a little. You left two pretty cool dogs to starve to death. Dude, you're all about killing people for money, but just leaving innocent dogs to die? By starvation? That's metal, a little too metal.
Although somebody probably stopped by eventually... They may have had food until then...
You convince yourself they're fine.

Also dude the hippies were easy. A bunch of people somehow all pitched in $1,000 to have them taken out. Such unity.
>>32899815
We are still very employed, just in limbo right now having no jobs. Oh and we got a promotion.
>>32899822
>>32899852
>>32899889
>>32899918
Evaluate your options... Order of importance, we must get our priorities straight...

>>32899933
i think there was a timeskip between then and now

>>32899934
See if we have a job.

If not, get on Google, and Ultimate Wizard.

>>32899953
We do not have a job right now READ NIGGA REEEAAADDD
We did all our work now we have FREE TIME TO FUCK AROUND NIGGA
Shit nigga
>>32899934
Lets go get nice clothes not really a suit but dress shirt shoes and pants
Also lets try to pick up chicks...vampire chicks

>>32899934
How did we fight a semen demon in one week? Could we like smell him or some shit? Her? Did it even have a proper ass to kick?

>>32899983
Yeah, but we MIGHT if we CALL WORK.

We are not picking up vampire chicks. Our job will just ask us to kill them. It won't even be anything, they say yes to a pickup line, we get a call that says "kill her". Probably won't even get payed for it.

We've got MAGIC to do.
ALCHEMY.
MYSTICISM.
ELDER SCROLLS.

Do we still have that soulsteal stamp? Maybe we can try that on some stray dogs.

>>32900016
Nigga thats just ridiculous what the fuck have you been smokeing?
Noones following us ordering us to kill vampires
WE JUST GOT OUT YESTERDAY and the boss told us he got nothing for us and to take a break
He'll call us or some shit nigga
Nigga pls
Nigga chill
Damn nigga

>>32900052
>Noones following us ordering us to kill vampires
Yet. Start asking them to "suck" your "penis" and see what happens.

I vote again, for the magic.
We may no longer be a virgin.
But we at least have Slaanesh.

Also
>We invested in dumb ass golemancy instead of sweet ass fucking enchanting
Thats retarded srysly
Also
Nigga we gotta invest fuckin points and shit into magic before we can learn that shit nigga
nigga pls
Dis aint no bathusda game
dis is real nigga
u hurd me nigga?
I no u hurd me
We in his head nigga
He can hear this shit nigga

>>32900089
Dude. I am literally the one who created both Golemancy AND Enchanting.

I do all the magic up in this bitch.

And need to get ON IT.

>>32900106
No mutherfucker
I suggested Enchanting
Suck my cock nigga
Invest XP into enchanting nigga

>>32899934
Let's ignore the racially-charged voices in our heads and go with the rational decision - checking online for any books on enchanting or magic we can find and have sent to the apartment. While waiting, practice our mojo and see if we can 'level up' our magic endurance at the very least.

>>32900124
whitey u stoopid
We need to invest XP to learn skills nigga
Read the rools nigga
Read the rools

>>32900116
You can eat twelve astrological dicks.

My hand was the hand that poured LUST into SILVER.

And by the concordance of alchemy and sexual chemistry, we need to GET ON THIS SHIT.*

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, fucking GOOGLE NOW."

>>32899953
>>32899983
>>32900016
You decide to call up the offices of Wet Works and you are greeted by the secretary. She explains in detail that Marshall is on 'vacation' right now and won't be back for awhile; however, he will be back with another, more exotic job for us. And, as a side-note, if we need anything job-related to come to her.

So, we have no current jobs. You'd love to hop on the computer and all but Alison hasn't given you the password to her computer. Shit...
Also, not sure exactly HOW to pick up vampire chicks (you've never smoked in your life, or really drunk much coffee or written much poetry). Nice clothes might be possible, however. Consider this.

We've still got that soul-steal stamp, and a little cheap inkpad... Some interesting majyyks can be done this day...
>>32900124
Again, no computer available currently. We could try doing some magic, still... What is it we'll do, exactly?

>>32900151
Fuck you and your chinese nigga
I suggested chemistry nigga
Chloral hydrate nigga
Ima put that in your mornin tea nigga
u just a busta who reads too manga and idolizes bloodninja nigga

>>32900160
Take a coffee cup.

Find a plant.

Stamp the stamp on the plant leaf, place it into the cup with a single rock, also stamped.

Chant the cast in the name of bigo shit.

And imagine the life of the leaf transferred into the rock, with the essence of WARNING.

Magic alarms, bitches.

>>32900190
NO NIGGA THATS GAY
ENCHANT OUR SMG NIGGA
FUCK YEAH NIGGA
SHE GUNNA BLAST FOOLS WITH US NIGGA

>>32900183
>>32900211
Are you disrespecting bloodninja?

Adding ninjutsu and Inuyasha to list of magics to develop.

Proceed with the spiritual transfer.

>>32900211
But i second you on that cup of coffee
lets get a white and black dress shirt
black dress pants and shoes
But first
Lets steal a soul

>>32900226
We're testing it on plants first.

We don't want to go into a starbucks and stamp someone's head while chanting only to have it not work.

>>32900221
Scuze me nigga
*too much bloodninja
Also
Fuck inuyasha nigga you aint gunna find no crystal shards nigga
kagomay aint gunna suck your dog cock thing nigga
naruto may be gay even by chinese anime standards nigga
But i agree with the ninshitsu

>>32900190
>>32900226
You conduct the ritual, feeling as though you're messing with the very yarn of life.
And stamps.

While doing this, as an after-thought, you consider getting some nice clothes....

Lets hope this doesn't interfere with the ritual at all. Even if that thought was on the back-burner, it likely didn't not affect the ritual in some way.

>>32900305
Put yer tripcode on gatsby. Unless it be an impostair.

>>32900323
>>32900305
Bollocks.

>>32900305
>it likely didn't not affect the ritual in some way.
Nigga now i know your just trying to confuzle me nigga
you think thats funny nigga?
OH HAHA TYRONE DROPPED OUT OF PRESCHOOL LETS SAY THINGS THAT MAKE HIM THINK HUEHUE
nigga why
why nigga
why do you hurt me so
nigga i didn't do nufin to you

>>32900335
Gently pour the rock onto the ground, and examine it.

Do we have wizard sixth sense third eye chakra examination yet?

If not, also a priority.

>>32900348
He means our rock is now going to have fashion fetish.

We'll get it right. One day.

>>32900397
Lets name it Tom

>>32900438
Let's name it Tom.

>>32900363
The rock appears to be as confused as it's ever been in it's life. Not only confused, but it would also quite like to be in formal dress wear. And sitting out in the nice, warm sun.

Of course, only you can notice this. It doesn't more, nor does it know how to. You don't know how, but you feel like it'll warn you in some way if it's feeling under dressed for an occasion or unreasonably cold.
>>32900438
>>32900453
"I have breathed life into you, and you shall be Tom."
It's mixed about it's name, but supposes it's better than it's previous name which was nothing. Something is always better than nothing.

>>32900465
Tom's fine. It can earn fancier names through service.

>>32900465
Well we got 100k lets go get a dress for our pet rock
Give it some affection on the way

>>32900465
Good. We wear it. Now it "becomes us", and can tell us if it feels we're underdressed for an occasion.

Get some pretty silver chain for our rock or something. Or just yarn.

>We have golemancy and soul magic
Lets kill people and put their parts together to make a buddy/servant to help us kill shit and hang out with

>>32900523
In due time. In due time.

In order to fine appropriate subjects, we should be meditating on our "Third Eye", our Wizard Senses.

The Dresden Files series of fictional novels can help.

We must see... the unseen.

>>32900548
Or we could dig up a grave yard/go postal/use the souls of our bounties/kill a goat
I want to go postal personally
Maybe we could give our rock a dead body

>>32900492
If he's good, he gets to be named "Tim Gunn".

>>32900565
But its a girl rock... i think?

>>32900564
Issue being that police still exist. We must choose our victims carefully. Like maybe vampire girls.

>>32900492
Tom is now convinced that he will work his way through the rank's in his masters eyes by how he is named. It brings him joy to imagine one day he will be named something as prestigious as Tim.
>>32900494
You're considering going on a shopping spree with the little guy, he's not so bad... You both need nice dress, right? You pet him a little.
>>32900499
Tom agrees to these conditions but warns if he ever feels DANGEROUSLY underdressed (like, naked in the middle of a ballroom, or something) he will scream as loudly as possible. And probably undo himself in the process.
>>32900523
>>32900548
>>32900564
Tom is quite unsure about controlling a body, seeing as he's only ever been a plant before. However, the idea does strike him as nice... Always being warm and such.
>>32900565
>>32900579
Tom does not have genitals and is therefor genderless. However, he'll roll with whatever.
>>32900582
Tom might not mind being a vampire girl if it weren't so cold...

>>32900579
"Tim Gunn" can be a girl's name.

>>32900548
Just try to focus on "seeing magic" or whatever.

>>32900582
What if vampires have no soul?
But we should still pick up vampire girls

>>32900603
Oh fuck. Is Tom getting clingy?

It's fine. Keep her in our pocket for now. Inside, safe and secure. Collect fashion warnings.

And begin the awakening of our mystic fucking senses.

Do you want to dodge bullets before they are even fired? Yes weyouus do.

>>32900603
YES
WE MUST MAKE TOM A VAMPIRE GIRL
THIS IS THE BEST CYOA EVER
holy shit thats great
Its shopping time

>>32900637
Actually, with a fashion adviser, loads of money, and a vampire quest...

We could go shopping while opening our third eye to look for vampires.

>>32900636
Well lets do that once we get some XP so we can actually earn skills but what kind of wizardskills should we learn twards first?

>>32900666
We don't actually NEED exp to develop our skills.

It just greatly accelerates the process, and does magical shit.

But we were able to get stuff like golemancy and enchanting without it.

>>32900677
We spent XP on golemancy i think

>>32900609
You focus on 'seeing majyyk', which mostly consists on staring at Tom. She blushes from all the attention.
>>32900613
Shit, good point... Tom dislikes the idea of a cold-body anyway...
>>32900636
She sits in your pocket, secure as the dickens. She'll buzz when she feels you're under-dressed for an occasion.
>>32900637
>>32900653
This isn't too far out of the realm of imagination.


So, general consensus among the voices in the head including Tom: go shopping for some sick duds and practice some third-eye unseen magic crap? Sounds like a plan, anyway. Anything to do before going straight to it like, y'know, shower?

>>32900720
Do we need to shower?

I mean, vampires don't care, and keeping other people away from us while we practice that absolute shit spelling of magic seems fine.

>>32900720
Yes also look for vampires

>>32900720
Lets shower incase vampire girls have super smell also wash tom

>>32900720
Can't put clothes on a dirty body. Let's us and Tom hit the showers.

>>32900741
>>32900742
I mean, you could use one. Tom speaks up and says she would like a slight wash, just like a general brushing should be good.
>>32900757
>>32900791
You take a wonderfully relaxing shower and wash Tom in the sink. You both exit the apartment cleaner than you entered.

You've got about $500 in cash on you, and the rest is on a card in your wallet.

>>32900804
Open the eyes of true sight.

Walk to the department store complex.

>>32900791
After we wash tom lets draw a face on it
something like ^_^ or something
Maybe through magic give it the power to change expressions till we find it a body
How big is tom anyways?

>>32900804
Shit nigga hit up a clothes shop or some shit

>>32900823
Rock sized. I personally enjoy the faceless mindsex we've been having.

>>32900720
find vamps please.

>>32900856
This
Also lets introduce tom to envy fork sometime in the future

>>32900804
>>32900823

Magic rock with Emoji face?
Reminds me of all those future tech machines that had text faces on computer screens to show emotions.

>>32900856
>>32900871
We've gotta fucking turn our face to the mystic realm to do that shit.

>>32900742
>>32900856
Dis vampire fetish...
I concur though.

>>32900842
>>32900820
>>32900856
You are only able to see two vampires; one is behind the counter at the store and the other is outside in an alley. Both appear female, coincidentally. Weird.
>>32900847
>>32900823
You internally debate whether to draw a face on Tom, and when asked about it, she cares not about it. Tom is a smooth river stone, she fits in your palm real nice.
>>32900871
>>32900892
The fork is back at the waffle house, and likely has gone insane.

>>32900919
Wait. We can see the flows of magical energy?!

Can we sense who the vampires have recently fed upon?

>>32900919
>likely has gone insane
I hope he doesn't power up later on and stab us in the ass

>>32900919
Well lets drop a smooth pickup line
Maybe ask her if she needs help warming up or wants to go out for a "drink" later
After we find some clothes though

>>32900941
Vampires just look goth as fuck
Lets ask tom if it likes gothic lolita

>>32900919
So, guess we do this the good old morgan way, womanise up to her than shoot the vampire and than stamp stamps stamps
unless anyones got any better ideas?

>>32900948
We can observe the one behind the counter.

Prepare to seduce.

And orgasm spiritsuck.

>Go to eat at waffle house
>Pick up your fork about to eat some tasty waffles
>hear a voice in your head
HEY JACKASS
YEAH YOU
YOU THINK YOUR SO COOL WITH YOUR LEGS AND ARMS?
FUCK YOU
YOUR SCUM
GIVE ME YOUR LIMBS
I DESERVE THEM MORE THAN YOU
GIVE THEM TO ME!

>>32900919
ask the gothvamp if she wants to drink with us somewhere more private, than shoot her and soulsteal and all that jiz

>>32900997
We soulsteal her while she's squirting. Still alive, and fresh.

>>32900919
Let's go see the girl in the ally

We'll mark the counter-girl for when we need to give Envy-fork a body too.

>>32901008
This fuck yeah
Lets get her to try some bondage with us first so she can't escape and kill us

>>32901014
>giving envy a body
fuck no.
it'll turn on us first chance it has and it'll be all clingy too

>>32901014
Envy fork will slaughter us out of pure malice and hatred

We are fucking satan to envy fork
We sentanced it to eternal damnation

>>32901039
>>32901041

But the hate sex would be amazing.

>>32901039
Clingy around our neck maybe

>>32901041
On the other hand, if it didn't exist, it wouldn't know that it didn't want to exist.

So really, it did want to exist, just perhaps in a better way.

We can save her.

>>32901064
She'll do to us what we did to soldier gurl
Just in a much more metal way
cuz its a fork

>>32900941
You can only see Vampires if you focus really really really hard... Also, Tom might be helping you out some.
>>32900945
shhh
>>32900948
>>32900962
You try putting a pickup line out-there, but she doesn't bite.
Tom has never read before but would love to learn. She knew a tree that turned into a book, once.
>>32900969
Still unsure about the soul business... But the body may work...
>>32900989
SHHHH
>>32901014
You go out to the alley away from the department store and you see an... Oddly ungoth teen. She's kind of got wild hair and a big coat on her, but she is by no means goth. Do you have vision problems?
>>32901008
>>32901021
You need help...
>>32901039
>>32901041
You entertain the idea of the fork being kinda tsundere, but yes it would also be equally as likely to murder.
>>32901051
Short answer, yes. Long answer, hell yes.
>>32901064
TAKING A LOT OF MENTAL NOTES HERE

>>32901064
If we're going to give envyfork a life, lets give it to something with less capability to slaughter us please
maybe a kid or something

>>32901076
Okay, we've identified a vampire.

Seduce her.

Get her to squirt.

Take her "essence" with the power of Big O.

Oh, you get it now? You get it now.

>>32901083
Find an actual lolita?
I'm down. She can be our mascot.

>>32901076
okay basically its been agreed,
>seduce with either offers for a "drink" or sex or both
>go somewhere private
>shoot
>soul-steal
unless I'm missing someones post or something

>>32901107
As far as the world is concerned, we are an actual lolita.

In an unfitting adult body.

>>32901103
Yeah okay just incorporate bondage so it can't fight back during body swap
And then we can have a kawaii gothic lolita vampire companion

>>32901119
Yes, you're missing the part where we rip her spirit out during a female ejaculation.

Blame the ritual words.

>>32901119
We can't shoot her that would damage the body
We got to bodyswap her with our rock
This shit is totally metal

>>32901083
>>32901107
>>32901124
You've had experience with babysitting kids on at least one occasion before, and we're pretty sure they are VERY capable of killing. Maybe a little moreso than most people. Also you're not sure about how moral that is... Oh, who are you to be moral? We can drown out our sorrows later, no matter how good they are at swimming.
>>32901103
>>32901119
This seems reasonable... But the chick in a alley way seems kinda... Young? Like, sixteen maybe. She's smoking though... Huh, guess she's a vampire in at least some ways.
>>32901151
>>32901152
You're very mixed about these ideas. Mixed and slightly aroused to the point of feeling bad.

>>32901151
No body swap just yet. We pull her into the handle of the stamp.

Tom's fine as a rock. Maybe.

I mean... we could have a vampire fashionista Tom.

But it may not work.

>>32901165
How's the counter girl?

>>32901165
offer the vamp a drink than if we're going to go all moral
this is so out of character, morgan seems like the type to go after anything with female genitalia

>>32901174
>not wanting a gothic lolita vampire rock
its like you hate fun

>>32901165
>young
just how we like it.
Lets go social combat this and roll our triple 6

>>32901165
>not being a ladykiller
Cmon were hardcore
Lets just seduce her into giving us her number and buy some clothes see where it goes from there

>>32901165
>>32901182

Ditto on seeing counter-girl, I'd feel better about grabbing a more stereotypical vampire. Alley girl seems to based to kill.

>>32901165
YEP I REVOKE MY VOTE FOR THE ONE IN THE STORE
LETS GO WITH THE ALLEY WAY
FREE CANDY BITCHES

>>32901197
Wizarding requires the proper precautions.

And I fucking made that rock with my magical powers while you dicked around with business suits and goth porn or some shit.

We must be careful not to fuck up.

>>32901165
>thinking Morgan gives two shits about whether the vampire is stereotypical or not
fuk tht shiz
seduce the cunt

>>32901219
If we get the alley girl she could help us better with our bounties and fit the trope better probably
I'm down for the alley girl

>>32901165
seduce, bondage and soulswap
technically we're not killing her, just assigning her a life of living as a rock for the rest of her life on some wayside

Lets go with the smokin alley chick.

>>32901248
The question is... are we Canadian?

If we're Canadian, the plan will work.

If we mysteriously have the laws of Canada, the plan will work.

>>32901165
gods Morgan is beyond fucked up...

>>32901275
Its great right?
>>32901270
Morgan is a Canadian name and i bet he's just as big as a Canadian man in the pants

>>32901260
Does this bitch even have a good body? Ask Tom if she wants this vampire bitch body.

>>32901297
holy shit we're missing something big here, we don't even know if Tom likes gothvamp, lets get tom's opinion before anything else

>>32901297
oh fuck... yeah we need Tom's opinion about the Vampire girl before anything else, no use getting another envy situation only now it has arms and killing potential

>>32901182
The counter girl looks mild mannered, kind of nice. She ways a little too much makeup. Dresses kind of like a hipster, too.
>>32901215
>>32901216
>>32901241
>>32901260
If we're going for this, then we have to make a social combat roll... But, we can only roll two dice. Dice penalty. Picking up girls in an alley is like trying to pick them up outside the abortion clinic, it just does not ever go well. You should know...
>>32901270
>>32901292
We're of undisclosed nationality, although probably Canadian. One side of Alison's family is from Mexico, kind of hard to tell though.
>>32901297
>>32901329
You ask Tom before approaching and she's a little mixed, because she looks as though she's a smoker, but is otherwise fine if her body is warm.

Okay, what are we approaching with in terms of a pick up line? Do we do anything just before?

>>32901329
Yeah but its kinda goth vamp or noone right now
Noones going to notice if alley girl goes missing

and toms cool with whatever it seems
Lets get her out of the sun first anyways go to a cheap motel with her

>>32901347
"Hello my sweet and supple vampire. I have a taste for the pleasures of your kind."

Rolled 2, 6 = 8

>>32901347
seduce roll go.

>>32901347
This is some serious serial killer shit right here.

This is a TERRIBLE IDEA.

>>32901362
>wanting to sound like a rapist childmolester
pls no not this

>>32901384
We are actually a serial vampire hunter, and destroyer of the creatures of the night.

>>32901384
we're Morgan though, morals are non-existant, go back to princess knight if you want to go all niceguy and moral
>>32901372
thank the gods because that pick up line was horrible

>>32901362
Can we fucking please get a better pickup line, we just rolled a so I really don't want this to be our success...

Rolled 2, 5 = 7

>>32901347
Yo! Didn't think anyone else hung out back here. what's up?

Also, I'm assuming we actually roll d6's and the other anon wasn't just being an asshat..

>>32901398
Seems to me that Vampires in this world are pretty commonplace, and are mostly like normal people.

SERIOUS. SERIAL-KILLER. SHIT.

>>32901384
Shush go play pringle guard quest if your not metal like us

>>32901429
what are you doing? We've already succeeded

>>32901429

>"Yo! Didn't think anyone else hung out back here. What's up?"

Makes us sound like a beatnik but whatever.

>>32901429
we do roll d6s, its using the normal http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Simple_D6_-_Third_Edition

>>32901372
You approach her and don't seem entirely creepy... In fact, you seem kind of cool, actually! You join her, leaning on the alley wall. She puts out her smoke and looks at you.
"So, what's your story? Do you just hang out in alleys with random girls?"
She seems a little timid, and has a very vague resemblance to Chloë Grace Moretz.
>>32901398
Technically speaking we hunt vampires but are not a vampire hunter. Legally speaking, you need a permit and have to be black.
>>32901432
We've got a point...

>>32901455
Atleast it dosen't sound like were going to cut off her legs and put our cock in her belly button

>>32901471
>Chloë Grace Moretz
You meant to say Lexi Belle.

It's okay, we'll forgive you. This time.

So, do we recruit her, or soulfuck her?

>>32901471
thank the gods we didn't go with the retard pickup line.
based alphagatsby
anyhow I'll say this again, holy fuck Morgan (i.e. FUCKING US YOU SHITS SINCE HES A REFLECTION OF US) is beyond fucked up

>>32901471
We have a permit, and we're Maverick. That's it.

>>32901471
we serial killer now

Rolled 4, 1 = 5

>>32901511
Either lets work up to that and see if we like her personality
>>32901471
Sometimes i was just out looking for shit to do since my apartment burnt down recently can i bum a smoke?
Whats a cute girl like you do besides smoke in alleyways?

>>32901560
Do you have any idea what we do for a living? It's like you're all new.

We're a PROFESSIONAL killer.

And very good at sex.

>>32901511
We're a WetWorks man. Which means that we are paid to kill certain people.

This does not, and should not, give us license to kill anyone we please. That shit is still illegal. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that doing so will get us on the wrong side of a contract, ourselves. Something similar happened to the supersoldier chick. She started to go bad, she got murdered.

Rolled 4, 1 = 5

>>32901471
Sometimes, Just looking for some shit to do since my apartment burnt down recently can i bum a smoke?
Whats a cute girl like you do besides smoke in alleyways?

>>32901471
>"Just tired of being stuck inside. Besides you don't look like you're gonna drug me and sell my organs. So I figure, why not?

>>32901586
Are you really trying to apply Bullshit to Metropolitan Quest?

I mean, really, Bullshit?

Please, leave that for other quests.

We've done things man. Things you probably. wouldn't understand.

We pulled the trigger.

>>32901580
Umm theres a big difference in Morgan's mind you newshit, Morgan clearly found killing in cold blood and killing for a job in his frame of mind.
Have you never read ANY of the threads?
In the first thread we had enough lawfaggoty to not steal a car or kill for bonuses from craiglist

>>32901615
fuck I'm still mad about that, we really should have got the okay from the bitch and the "please kill me" line first (along with all her fuckin valuables and the safe location+pass)

>>32901586
>>32901616
>Defending actual bloodsucking creatures of darkness.
Where did you two come from?

Rolled 2, 1 = 3

>>32901616
Shut up and get metal
We made an emotional and physical connection with a girl then blew her brains against the fucking wall then though about how it was kinda cool
Morgian is a huge sociopath its fine

>>32901630
We got the line.

We tried for the valuables, but fucking dogs.

Rolled 2, 3 = 5

>>32901586
Pringle guard quest is that way

>>32901635
>>32901654
Yeah, it's obvious they don't understand.

Maybe evil figments of our jobless past.

>>32901616
This guy is actually telling the truth for all his moralfaggotry, I remember the craiglist part, we really needed money back than too and we didn't fucking even try

>>32901633
I've been here since the first thread.

And we've always killed on contract. She's not killing small animals in some abandoned part of the local park, she's smoking in a back alley.

>>32901635
Well, we were horny. And it was still on the job. Sociopathic Bond-shit is fine if we're getting paid.

>>32901635
>thinking you can understand Morgans character

>>32901683
Issue being, we didn't consider that shit reliable, and we had a better job to potentially get to.

It was craigslist. Not some great 'moral' quandary.

Rolled 6, 5 = 11

>>32901687
>>32901683
Because it went against our contract with wetworks and it would probably be boring to do a mission about wacking some dudes cheating wife and cutting her toung off or whatever

>>32901635
>>32901633
are you two new?

>>32901710
You come in here, and start talking to OUR Morgan about "morality"?

You can get dunked. It is an actual job requirement that we don't give a shit.

>>32901471
Look guys, we're not even killing the gothvamp, just placing her soul in a rock for unlife forever

>>32901710

This guy might be >>32901633

I been here since thread one <super oldfag nigga

>>32901600
She looks at you, but it's no-dice on the smoke.
"Sorry, I don't like giving loosies unless I know the person. Is that what that was? I thought I read something about that in the paper..."
She toys around with a zippo before answering, trying to think while looking in the reflection of the scuffed up, obviously aged item.
"Uhhh... Well, I blog. I write in my sparetime. I try not to get involved with people too much, y'know?"
>>32901697
I want to see someone attempt to understand Morgan's character after about ten threads. I really want to see someone do a breakdown of him, not even kidding.

>>32901729
>thinking I'm talking about morality
are you autistic?
I'm identifying the obvious in Morgan being against killing outside of his job. Have you never read any of his internal monologue from alpha?

>>32901733
This
Though if we like her enough we might just keep her and look for our pet rock a new body
Probably not though
How much you think vegans apartment would cost us?

>>32901746
>Sex Starved
>Wizard
>Fetishes

All done.

>>32901733
>>32901767

Strait up, do vampires even have souls in this continuity?
If they don't then wouldn't it just be Ally-girl and Tom sharing a body?

Rolled 5, 5 = 10

>>32901746
Social roll, lets seduce.
"So what do you write about?"

>>32901780
Continue the seduction.

Approved.

>>32901780
based anon

>>32901746
I've actually begun to develop an irrational hatred for this vampire.

Go on.

>>32901812
Funny, as of right now I like her more than all of you put together.

>>32901823
That's because you're evil.
And a fucking hipster.

>>32901812
I like her better than everyone else in this gestalt conciousness
and thats saying alot

>>32901812
morgan is an experiment of the wizards of 4chan
they created a man and let our posts decide what he does or how he thinks
This is us playing everyone is john with him but a much more morbid version

And the vampire is probably a tumblr user
Its not too irrational

>>32901823
>Morgan's voices each uncontrollably hate each other
Now that we've got LOADSAMONEY we should probably do something about the rampant schizophrenia.

>>32901864
This is what happens when white knights try to siege Morgan's head.

The quest shit-dives to saving vampire urchins from the mean streets of tumblr blogging.

>>32901889
Mien sides anon

Lets steal her body so hard

>>32901889
>whiteknighting
If people wanted to white knight they would've done it back when Morgan blew out the fucking brains of that bitch
Theres no white knights here only degrees of difference in morality

>>32901889
Now now, hated-voice-anon, it's not practical to go chaotic stupid.

We can go drive some more inanimate object insane later, if you want.

>>32901889
Not commuting random acts of murder =/= white knighting

Sorry we're cramping your style Sir Edgelord.

>>32901773
Vampires might have souls? They seem like people... Mostly. Maybe an attempt to fuse her mind and Tom's, though that would require some powerful majyyk enerjyyies...
>>32901780
She kind of twirls her hair on a finger
"Oh lets see... Well, I write a lot of psychological horror kind of stuff. I wrote this story about a psychiatrist who tries using this new technology... See, there is this thing that lets you step into other people's minds, yeah? But it's only used for basic rehabilitation and stuff... But she decides to use it to step into the mind of a serial killer. Wants to write a tell-all book about him. As soon as she steps in, she leaves, too disturbed but what she finds... But does she really leave? She sees hallucinations and stuff, but this could be side effects of the machine she used wrong to begin with. It's suspenseful, I hope." She's really opening up to you about the book, probably doesn't talk to a lot of people about it.

>>32901889
>thinking we're arguing about whether to steal the gothvamps body or not
I mean I'm not even in the convo and I know this isn't the case, we're just arguing over killing

>>32901910
They couldn't do it then, because I was the only one there.

And I was chanting "pull the fucking trigger" the entire time.

Your only hope went out to have sex with his girlfriend at some dragon movie.

>>32901926
oh fuck the dramatic meta-irony of that post is too stronk
anyhow can we progress to the fucking soul inserting please
this is taking too long

>>32901936
>we're just arguing over killing
How does this shit even happen? Stop it.

You're literally jeopardizing our career.

>>32901969
no ones arguing about killing on the job, we're arguing over killing when OUTSIDE of the job requirements

Rolled 5, 5 = 10

>>32901978
You want us to get fucking rusty? Fuck you.

>>32901926
Sexually seduce her.

Rolled 1, 3 = 4

>>32901926
That sounds like my kind of book i used to read alot actually did you ever read [insert suspense/horror book we know here]?
I'd like to see your manuscript sometime if its not too much truble

>>32901969
>You're literally jeopardizing our career.
Don't be a bigger dumbass that you alredy are.

How's not killing a random girl we just met going to jeopardize our job as a CONTRACT KILLER?

Fucking dipshits, I swear.

Rolled 1, 3 = 4

>>32901961
Not our fault we're conflicted about murderhoboing in the quest.

Oh, wait.

Anyways, don't kill her. I say we get her number, and then fuck off to do some shopping. We need some nice duds, and some nicer guns.

GIT GUD

>>32901986
took fucking long enough, lets make this fast, I want to go on our damn date with alison and get some pussy

>>32901986
It works again.

Begin.

Rolled 4, 5 = 9

>>32901986
Lets go with this guy
>>32901993
Fuck my post go with the guy above me

Rolled 4, 6 = 10

>>32901996
We can bodyswap her after the date
Lets also take over her apartment after the bodyswap with our pet vampire gothic lolita rock

>>32901999
trips confirmed, Morgan gonna be getting some pussy tonight

>>32902035
Since you all are fucking PUSSIES we can just try to recruit her for now.

We can voodoo some more plants or puppies or shit. Or her, later.

>>32901986
>>32901999
>>32902005
Got to remember the date... Still have to find that place, remember? Oh and actually get some clothes for you and Tom.

You begin making sexual advances and she seems flattered, if a little nervous.

"Uhhh... Listen, guy, I'm really flattered 'n all but this is kind of weird?"

She's not outwardly rejecting the advances but is clearly weary. She just needs a little bit more convincing then BAM, get laid get paid. In a body.

For Tom.

Rolled 4, 6 = 10

>>32901995
Don't be a pussy lets stamp this bitch
Seriously this isen't going to harm us
We will gain a cool ass companion for life from this
Put your armor aside and look at the situation

Rolled 3, 1 = 4

>>32902067
"I really love your insight on the thoughts and multiplicity illusions afflicting a serial killer. It seems, more true to life. More verisimilitude."

Seduce!

>>32902072
>>32902067
I swear, just stamp gothvamp, we can give her back her body later if we're gonna whiteknight, I want our fucking date with Alison already

Rolled 3, 1 = 4

>>32902067
DUCK YEAH NIGGA

Sorry yeah i guess its odd to talk to someone in an alley way huh?
Hey i read alot myself you wana get out of this alley and get some coffee and maybe let me fork over what you have written so far?

>>32902089
no fuck you. don't screw up when we already have
>>32902072
especially with that omega line
ofc we're all omegas here

Rolled 6, 2 = 8

>>32902067
"I both want, and need, your pussy to make me whole."

>>32902067
Why don't we just fucking bodyswap the rock with our next contract?

Let's just go get some god damned clothes!

Rolled 2, 4 = 6

>>32902072
>wasted my 10 then i post >>32902103
I'm seriously going to cry guys

>>32902067
>>32902072
so we succeed?

>>32902113

>>32902072
I guess we can use "let's stamp this bitch" as a pickup line.

Rolled 2, 6 = 8

>>32902115
Lets go with this i like his roll

>>32902153
>Your roll.

Uh oh. The dice are speaking.

Rolled 3, 1 = 4

>>32902072
Yes lets just go with this but leave the armor line out

>>32902072
well guess we're agreed this is the roll
>>32902067

>>32902072
Before she can even form a cohesive thought you take your stamp out and stamp her forehead like it's a V8 commercial. She is literally so stunned and confused, she doesn't have any reaction to give besides a confused, glazed look.

Alright what now, gotta do a chant or what? Tom seems anxious and honestly really scarred right now.

Rolled 5, 4 = 9

>>32902220
Now we continue to seduce her.

"I thought you'd like the unexpected."

>>32902220
"Let the transference of souls begin
-MAGICAL GIRL SONG HERE-"
kek

Rolled 6, 4 = 10

>>32902220
>"Sorry, your story just reminded me of something awesome. Check this out."

Proceed to body switch.

>>32902247
what is this I don't even
Lets go with it

Rolled 4, 3 = 7

>>32902220
Welp, fuck it.

Let's roll Golemancy and put Tom in her!

Rolled 1, 3 = 4

>>32902220
Whats an appropriate reaction to a stranger stamping you on the head after a short conversation in an alleyway?

Also fuck it i guess?
Put her soul in a pebble then put toms soul in her body
Maybe pray noone calls the cops
Hold her down while we chant
cover her mouth with one hand and don't let her claw us in the eyes

Rolled 3, 3 = 6

>>32902263
FUCKING THIS

>>32902277
>calling cops when shes still physically alive
betch tom can just pretend to be her if cops come.
>>32902220
make fucking sure to put her soul into a rock, I don't want to kill her and get another whiteknight pissing competition

>>32902242
"Wh... Wait, I'm confused, what???"
Still not moving.
>>32902263
>>32902247
Everything goes strangely smooth, and the girl's body falls down and the rock goes silent. You are getting no communication from either.

The girl's body, however, seems to be trying to blink and breathing very sparatically.

Rolled 4, 2 = 6

>>32902300
Lets put her soul into another waffle house utencle so the fork can be less lonely
Lets fucking stock waffle house with sentient utilities

>>32902311
oh fuck lets hope tom knows how to fucking use a human body, if worst comes to worst we can just give the gothvamp her life back, (and run away after)

>>32902311
Alright, Tom should be able to get used to that.

We can carry her off. Make sure we have enough blood to feed her or some shit.

Also check the stone to see if there's a vamp girl in it.

>>32902263

I like the idea of us being really fucking casual about this.

>>32902322
Nah, she wasn't that bad. Let's keep her Tom's rock until we think of something cool.

>>32902357
its simple really, once we kill out next client, we move tom to that body and vampgirl gets her body back. ofc if she gets aggressive than we can just remind her its better than being a rock forever

>>32902378
What if she likes being a rock.

>>32902391
than everything works out.
happy ending for everyone
as happy as fucked up Morgan can be at least, I seriously feel bad for his parents

>>32902311
>>32902378

Better yet, when she comes to tell her we fucked up and we need another body to put her back in hers.

By the time we get a new one she'll probably have seen such cool shit that she'll want to be our assistant or something.

>>32902330
The body begins to speak... Tom begins to speak, that's what you meant.
"I... Umm... Hehehe, this is really... Really weird..." she seems really out of it.
>>32902341
You check the stone and find no voice... There is a little bit of crying, however.

>>32902419
>>32902391
>>32902378
gonna link these to alpha since they seem cool
>>32902311

>>32902437
Good, we keep the rock.

Tom is an incarnation of WARNING, so she should be decently able to warn us of things more loyally than usual.

Also used to be a plant, good for sticking around us.

She's probably having powerful new-body orgasms right now, though. So let's help her through it.

Rolled 2, 5, 2 = 9

>>32902437
loyalty roll for Tom to see how obedient she is now that she has a body

(using seducing women, charismatic, golemancy)

Rolled 6, 6 = 12

>>32902437
Daww toms so cute
Remember kids never talk to wizards in alley ways
No sense of right or wrong i tell you what

still don't swap them back no matter what

>>32902437
Also, later, after she's done crying, we can offer to cure the vampire of vampirism.

Rolled 4, 4 = 8

>>32902487
Alright lets get tom covered up and go to the store get some clothes for you both get a cab to the vampire girls apartment so we can look through her stuff for anything else nice for tom to wear and a place to chill / burgle
vampgirl was a loner and since she blogs probably not homeless

>>32902445
Interesting thoughts...
>>32902465
Right, right. It was a part of the rock, not Tom.
>>32902483
Tom seems pretty damn loyal, if a little... Well, for lack of a better term, 'tipsy' trying to get control of her new body.
"This is weird... This is really, really weird... I like it."
>>32902487
Duely noted.
>>32902509
Probably.

>>32902546
That is not at all possible, Gatsby.

We infused the glory of clothing and WARNING through the transfer helix.

Tom didn't exist until our voodoo did her.

>>32902546
Tom's a master of formal wear right? lets get her to help us shop for some clothes for tonight, oh and get some weapons too (along with some magical equipment if it exists)

>>32902546
Alright then. Let's get ourselves and Tom new duds while we wait for Ally-girl to get over her shock.

>>32902601
>>32902546
>mfw we still don't know her name
>mfw we didn't even bother asking name of girl we trapped to eternal hell of being a rock
>mfw i have no face
find out alley girls name on the way to the store

>>32902627
"We don't kill people, we imprison them in cold rocks."

>>32902590
>>32902601
You help Tom get on her feet as she's still getting used to having a mouth and everything. You enter the store, looking inconspicuous as all hell, and browse through some items... After a little while, the suggestion comes down to a nice fitting suit for you ($700) and a simple, short sundress for Tom ($200).
>>32902627
You ask the girl if it's okay and she's still sobbing some... Between sobs, you learn her name. Her name was Emily. She has an orange cat named Neil back at her place and she just misses actually being alive. But she admits, begrudgingly, she enjoys being a rock too... Not really having to deal with people.

Tom asks you while looking herself over in the sundress if she can keep the rock as a souvenir, like, put it on a string as a necklace.

Rolled 6, 6 = 12

>>32902682
>>32902627
We are fucking metal
I love it

Lets post on /a/ and teach them how they can make their waifu's reality

>>32902714
fuck thats expensive
anyhow keep rock with us since vampgirl's not gonna get along with her bodysnatcher

>>32902714
She can't have the rock at this moment due to our wizarding research.

The girl in it may enjoy the solitude for a while, we wish to see.

>>32902714

>Tired of writing novel
>Go outside for a break
>Meed some cool dude who's interested in my stories
>He's actually a Magic Assassin
>Uses a spell that accidentally switches my soul with a rock's
>Now I'm stuck with him until he finds out how to switch me back

Girl just became a manga Protagonist.

>>32902720
we are the edgemaster, even more than /b/

Rolled 3, 5 = 8

>>32902714
Sure tell emily we will find her own body or another body sometime and take care of her cat for her in the mean time get her apartment adress and lets give the rock to tom to hold onto but tell tom to be VERY careful with it and to take care of it

>>32902766
Purposefully.

Anyway, she also has a cat back at her place that's going to die.

And we perhaps actually feel nothing about that.

>>32902766
>accidentally
kek

Rolled 6, 1 = 7

>>32902745
Yeah lets keep the rock but let her see the plant she used to be

>>32902714
Keep Emily.

And after we're done here go to her place and feed her cat. We're taking care of it for now.

>>32902714
get her address.
We need to do some "borrowing". Also take the cat too.

>>32902793
>>32902794
>Purposefully.

Not like we're going to tell her.
It's can be a mid-season plot twist.

>>32902745
>>32902746
You decide to keep it, although Tom pleads.
"Pleeeaaase? Come on... It's, like, significant to me! Look at it's significance to me!"
>>32902766
That's the long and short of it.
>>32902797
This makes her a little giddy, which is weird to see in a body that previous had a very slow and kind of mellow host. Tom is so excite right now.
>>32902801
>>32902827
She tells you the address seeing as what else is she going to do? Withholding it won't do much.
Now we've got a cat.

>>32902714
see
>>32902830
don't forget to remind Emily it was all an accident and that we'll "try" and help her asap

>>32902844
How's her apartment?

How'd she become a vampire?

>>32902844
how long till alison date?
we need to find a place to temporarily ditch Tom before we go to her.
oh, that and robbing a gothvamp (Emily's) place and getting a cat

>>32902850
Let's see how much she fucking likes being a rock.

She might like a statue or ball bearing or something.

>>32902850
"Um, it's nice I guess? I didn't clean up before leaving, there's some stuff kind of laying around... I don't know, this is so weird..." She sighs, wishing that (as a rock) she could smoke.
"I got involved with some stupid stuff when I was 13... Of course, it wasn't whippets or weed, it was vampires.

Tom begins discovering the cigarettes in the jacket and tries to eat one because, y'know, it's plant matter kind of it's edible.

>>32902895
You check the time...

It's about 2:30 now, and the date is schedules for around 8:00.

>>32902928
Let's make reservations at [Fancy Restaurant].

Tell Tom to knock that off.

>>32902928
Tom probably requires blood. Ask Emily about the blood.

>>32902928
rob her place than, we've got all the time in the world.
Also try and inform Tom how to be a vampire on the way there

>>32902928
>tries to eat one
Snatch that shit away. Last thing we need is her getting a stomach ache. Shit's gonna be unbearable.

>>32902928
Raid her fringe and her books.

Rolled 1, 2 = 3

>>32902844
Tell rock to look on the bright side say were an aprintice wizard / assasin and we'll give her alot to write about And a new body later
We'll even write her current story how she wants us to for her

>>32902928
get seats at the best place in town (i.e. book at the best restruant in town), we need to splurge on this since its fucking the first date and first dates matter most

>>32902928
guys guys, Tom was a plant until now, we need to teach her how to be a human/vamp.
also get alison a fucking gift you autists.

>>32903017
It's Alison.

Why don't we just take her to a reading of this girl's book with Tom as the waitress.

Rolled 5, 5 = 10

Lets get alison some fucking flowers or chocolate like were a highschooler

Then lets take her to a fancy restaurant
And envy fork can show up to assassinate us when it gets served to us
But first we must teach tom a little bit about being a vampire and not opening doors for anyone ever at all nomatter what unless its us because they'll murder her

>>32902973
"Oh dude, I just got to the back of this Jewish deli, he gives it for free."
>>32902991
You take away the pack of smokes and wag your finger at her. She reaches out for them... Quite clearly hungry.

You leave with your suit in a bag and with Tom in her dress, to go to Emily's apartment. Immediately as you get the door open, a cat dashes out like a bat outta hell. You decide it'll come back and raid her fridge which is mostly Chinese food and blood. Tom eyes is, almost drooling.
>>32903002
"Please don't talk to me."
>>32903039
This too, this is important. Still have to scout out a place eventually...

>>32903167
Give Tom some delicious blood.

Like a mother bird.

>>32903167
Time to hit the Deli.

>>32903167
give tom the blood in the fridge
also make this place tom's base now since we can't take her back to Alisons.
Make sure to tell her never to open the door to anyone but us, also
STEAL EVERY GOD DAMN THING IN THIS HOUSE THAT TOM DOESN'T DIRECTLY NEED (i.e MONEY MONEY MONEY)

Rolled 4, 1 = 5

>>32903167
Give tom some blood and Chinese eat some our self so we don't eat too much expensive food
Then lets teach tom a little bit about being a aliveish and not opening doors for anyone but us
Then lets use her phone call Alison and arrange a time for the date
Then use emily's computer to scout out a place post on 4chan and teach tom some more shit

>>32903272
Tom can come with us.

She's our assistant now.

She won't kill Alison in her sleep or anything.

>>32903167
steal everything from the gothvamp

Rolled 3, 2 = 5

>>32903272
Nah her place is our new safehouse
We can still crash with Alison but we crash here mostly now/when were closer how's that sound?
We have to watch tom

>>32903292
are you new to the whole girl thing you autist?
Bringing a girl to another girls place. Yea that'll TOTALLY work
fucking /tg/

>>32903167
>>32903297

Seconding, no need to steal her gear when we can just crash here.

>>32903282
Oh, fuck yes! Get Tom on /d/.

Best way to show how vampires work.

Rolled 6, 1 = 7

>>32903292
Tom is a girl
You don't take a girl to a date with another girl you intend to fuck after the date
Do you have assburgers?

>>32903251
There's already blood in the fridge, but a stop by there wouldn't be out of the question.
>>32903201
You toss her a bag of blood and she looks at it, confused. Instead of cutting the corner and drinking it like that, she just kind of rips it open and messily eats it, lucking not getting any on her new dress.
>>32903272
There isn't a lot of money... Piles of books, though. Heavy-ass books.
>>32903282
You access her, luckily, password free computer and post on 4chan "rock girl cutie what do". Also, whilst doing this you call Alison
"Hey Morgan!" She answers with some enthusiasm.

>>32903292
>typical /tg/

>>32903310
>>32903315
Guys, she's a vampire ex-plant which we created with magic in a coffee cup.

Alison's used to this.

Rolled 4, 5, 4 = 13

>>32903317
social die roll, "so about tonight, you ready?"

>>32903330
>>32903340

Alison can teach her how to be human. It's very endearing in the mangas.

Rolled 5, 3 = 8

>>32903317
Tell her hey your baby sitting right now ask her when she wants to have a date

Rolled 2, 2, 5 = 9

>>32903369
you forgot charismatic/seduce womin or our natural die
>>32903317
anyhow rolling for datetalk

Rolled 3, 1, 3 = 7

>>32903388
Okay My 5,3 and your 5 this is a good roll

>>32903369
"Babysitting? What, you kill a mother of three or something? Just tonight, at around 8:00... Hey, you find a place yet?"

Rolled 3, 2, 4 = 9

>>32903388
>>32903409
>>32903369
>>32903363
You don't roll dice for easy actions buttheads

>>32903416
"Yeah, this apartment I'm in."

Rolled 3, 2, 6 = 11

>>32903416
lie and tell her we've got the best place possible

Rolled 1, 5, 5 = 11

>>32903416
Actually yeah And No i kind of maybe created a life form or something dicking around with what should not be dicked around with maybe

So how do you feel about fancy restaurants?

>>32903432
shes talking about tonight you retard unless you meant for dinner in some gothvamps appartment in which case your autistic

>>32903445
"Really? Kind of heavy for the first date, but I like that you're aiming to impress... I'm ready for anything you've got."

>>32903432
are you trolling or are you trying to lose us any chance of getting laid?

Rolled 1, 5, 4 = 10

>>32903463
He ment she can come over and so we can fuck her brains out asshat

>>32903466
okay google time, find out the best place in the area and book for 2.
also we need a fucking gift if it wasn't obvious to you wizards

>>32903497
Exactly.

>>32903501
You immediately begin googling a good local place... Well, there's Fleur de Lis, pretty fucking fancy. Expensive, too.

"So, where?"

Also a gift would be a good idea!

>>32903527
Why can't we find a normal girl who likes sex and quiet picnics?

>>32903546
but alison is a fucking normalfag. we're the fucked up amoral non-normal sociopath

>>32903546
>Normal girl
What sort of normal human being would go for Morgan?

>>32903527
Also, BOOK THE RESERVATION. MAKE SURE WE CAN ACTUALLY GO THERE YOU AWIOEDJASJPDAWHUIODJA

>>32903546
Because WE'RE not normal, Captain AIDS.

>>32903546
She probably would have been up for that. /tg/'s the one who doesn't know haw to act like a normal person.

>>32903576
>>32903574
>>32903570
>>32903568
That doesn't matter. Take her for a quiet picnic.

>>32903576
needa impress that bitch since we've been mooching of her for ages.
100% certain everyone in this thread is a wizard

>>32903611
we're on /tg/ why do you believe its anything strange for 100% wizard rate?

>>32903629
Just have the date at the imprisoned girl's apartment. It's refreshing and suave for a wizard assassin to do.

Tom can watch us in silence to learn how to date.

>>32903698
>Here, let's have our first date in the home of this girl whose life I ruined today
>Later, let's fuck on her bed!
Yeah, no.

>>32903596
You decide, against your better judgement, to tell her that it'll be quiet picnic in the park. There's a bit of silence
"That... Actually sounds incredibly pleasant."

Rolled 4, 5, 4 = 13

Ask the rock if she has any friends / anyone coming over so we don't turn them into rocks like her

>>32903719
See men. Normal girl stuff.

>>32903719
nonnonononononononono
didn't we just lie that we're going fancy, damnit.
fuck the picnic bastards

>>32903719
Let's head to the deli and pack some fruit and sandwiches. A little bit of pasta salad.

>>32903737
And she said it was a bit much so we reconsidered

Changing plans so both sides are happy is something normal people do on dates anon. Sit back and learn..

>>32903737
well guess from her end it like this
>phonecall from Morgan
>lets go fancy, I already booked
>actually lets go picnic now
shes now confused but happier since not as awkward

>>32903758
You leave Tom to the house and instruct her (almost like a dog) not to misbehave. She listens, saying she's just going to lay around in the sun... Might not be a good idea, you advise her against it. She'll be fine.

You leave for the deli, and get some nice picnic kind of stuff all the while having the rock with you in your pocket. You just need a nice blanket and a cool local in the park.

>>32903858
Say, you figure we can grow a new body for the vamp girl out of plants.

Maybe she'd like being a dryad.

It seems fitting!

Rolled 5, 1, 6 = 12

>>32903879
She'd rather have her own body back probably
We should give Tom the dryad body

>>32903879
>>32903858
Well maybe when we get to the part we can find a nice grove. Local store should have a blanket and basket. Then we look for a place.

>>32903903
>Swamp Thing Tom
make it happen