Australia vs India
4th ODI at Manuka Oval, Canberra
Who's an alpha RSD pickup artist like me? Probably none of you. haha!
Reminder that the other thread was made first.
Reminder that it will be the official thread until it reaches bump limit.
Reminder that Threadcounter will repeatedly spam "REAL THREAD HERE _______" in it, but that does not make this the "real" thread.
You blew your wad too early by, a) not putting any information about the actual game, and b) thinking le ebin /bunde/ meme was an actual thing.
This is the superior, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, 5 minute smoko taking thread.
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got googlied-swung upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the captain of Australia
In New South Wales born and raised
On turf was where I spent most of my days
Spinnin' out, bowlin', relaxin' all cool
And all batting at 8 like a young fool
When a couple of poms who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got one little century and Boof just stared
He said "You're movin' below Watto and Clarke at 4"
I scored and performed there day after day
But Clarke packed his back in went his own way way
Boof gave me the team and made me first wicket.
I put my helmet on and said, "I might as well hit it".
First drop, yo this is bad
Hitting half volleys all along the grass.
Is this what the specialist batsmen living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I whistled for the ashes and when it came near
The scoreboard said 60 and it looked severe
If anything I could say that this chance was rare
But I thought "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to the captain's chair!"
I pulled up to the Gabba about 7 or 8
And I yelled to Clarke 'Yo holmes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the captain of tests and elsewhere
Threadcounter literally has 12 Holly pics. He has labeled some of them 'holly65.jpg', 'holly66.jpg', etc, to try and make it appear as though he has a whole obsessive collection of them.
He is loving the fact that people have given him a persona, and is doing what he can to try and live up to it.
He is not actually schizophrenic, as he claims. That is just another gimmick he's tried to attach to his growing persona.
Reality cunt on aborted narrative watch
He only did it because someone else made one before him.
I know that his whole "LE I HAVE LE DIAGNOSED SCHIZOPHRENIA XDXD" shtick is a gimmick, but he is legitimately mentally ill and should seek medical help.
Dont worry, I genuinely believe he will find the help he needs once /nr/ is back and /cric/ becomes deader than RC
And by "help" I obviously mean a length of rope threaded between the rafters in his mums garage
>Allrounder Mitchell Marsh was listed at No.3 on the team sheet but it was not yet confirmed if he would bat in that position.
oh for fuck sake
either drop him or play him where he's supposed to play
literally no other player gets as many luxuries and flexibility as him
I couldn't possibly imagine why
it makes me pretty mad when batsman get chance after chance to prove themselves. It gives me flashbacks to U14 cricket where I was actually half decent batter but was put at 12 every game, got given one chance to bat at 5 and got out for a duck from an absolute peach of a delivery and never got a chance again.
Then when I finally did it was when I was batting at 11 and made a 50 to save our team when they had collapsed for like 40.
That and my fucking dad never got me a proper fucking bat the stingy cunt and I had to bat with a fucking 40 kashmir piece of shit
Marsh is already a better bowler than Fatshit in his prime and can bowl for more than two overs before giving up.
His batting isn't great, but he's only really batted out one full series.
If he fails in Poo Peelans then he should be dropped for a year or two and replaced with Faulkner or Hastings
I guess that's what happens when you're in a country with no fast bowling infrastructure. If he lived in Australia, Pakistan or South Africa, he could be a genuine threat right now.
Why are there no good Aboriginal cricket players?
Even the kiwis have their natives playing eggby and civilised enough to not piss and shit in public
Why can't you tame the savage Abo and teach him the gentleman's game?
they all play AFL, cricket may as well not exist outside of the metropolitan areas.
Abos can unironically be quite good sprinters and a few of Australia's better pace bowlers were abo back in the early 20th century
When is Australia going to become good at a REAL sport like rugby union? Cricket is dead and for obese cuckholds. Rugby is a rugged hardman's sport and is way better than AFL
And furthermore if New Zealanders are inferior to based Ausgods why do the Kiwis always beat up the scared little Kangaroos when it comes to real sport like Rugby?
The pinnacle of Rugby Union is viewed as the penalty goal. Every rule in the entire game is geared towards maximizing the amount of penalty goals that can be attempted within 80 minutes. Its great viewing. What a thrilling sport.
Rugby league is OK but I can't deal with all that running and passing. Sometimes a whole game can pass without a single penalty goal being kicked! Can you imagine?
I hardly ever get to sit and watch for eight minutes while a scrum collapses and repacks six times, followed by a penalty goal, in rugby league. If league wants to compete they need far more of it.
Also, there's far too much game time in rugby league. They set up too many plays and go far too long without slowing the game down with penalties, line outs and 4 scrum re-packs. What rugby league need to do is make field goals and penalty goals worth more, so more time is spent standing around watching one guy kick a ball. Did you guys see the latest Durban Pirates vs Roturua Razorbacks game? Six penalty goals to five! The pirates had no answer to the Razorbacks tactics of kicking the ball out then collapsing the scrum.
Its this level of tactical sophistication that is missing in rugby league, where as you rightly point out, its just a bunch of athletic guys trying to score tries against each other. Yawn.
because the proportion of maori to NZer pop is much higher than abo to Aussie pop
We have a similar issue in britain
pic related shows how we tamed our native population
The thing to remember about the bogan is that their allegiance is not to any particular sport, but to the nation of Australia.
It is for this reason that the Australian bogan gravitates so strongly to the three tent-pole sports of boganism - Cricket, Rugby League and AFL. The bogan gravitates to these sports not because he enjoys, or even understands them. The bogan cares only that Australia is the best, thereby validating the bogan. And where else can the bogan assert that Australia is best, other than on the sporting field, where there is a clear winner and loser.
It is for this reason that the bogan will sometimes be seen supporting the wallabies - albeit often furrowing his brow in a vain attempt to understand the sport of rugby. They can't understand how an Australian team might not be the best in a sport, but they will support the team when the team appears to be on the cusp of establishing themselves as the best in the world, only to promptly decry the sport, and not the team, in the event that Australia should lose. A failure of the national side is a failure of the bogan himself, and the distancing of one's self worth from the worth of the national sporting team would require a degree of metacognition that the bogan is simply not capable of.
So the rest of Australia will continue to humour the bogan, as without them our shipping, construction and minerals industries would grind to a halt. And the television networks will continue to play AFL, rugby league and cricket in order to pacify these puzzling creatures. And every now and again on a humid summer breeze you will hear their cries of ">muh state of origin" and ">muh Warney" and you will know that the Australian economy is in safe hands, at least for the immediate future.
One of these days a fast bowler will die by one of the batsmen on a straight drive. Umpires got helmets now, fast bowlers can't react that quick to someone like dave warner hitting it clean.
Finch has a terrible technique, and is a confidence player. His balance was just falling over few overs ago. He's a decent ODI opener that's all. He can never be a test opener, ever, his defense is terrible.
Lads, the selectors actually picked two swingbabbys for the PP tour...
Are the selectors, dare I say it, not completely tarded?
I think he fucked up a little, but the response was an overreaction. It's like if you get a speeding ticket for doing 65 in 60 zone. Yeah, you did do something wrong, but it's not appalling. It's not like he groped here or some shit.
On one hand it was just bantz that the PC thought police over reacted too. On the other hand he is a shitskin trying to touch a white women. Its a complex issue but I think I'm go to side with no touching of white women by shitskins.
Why? Obviously it's not the be all and end all, but if all other factors are equal, someone struggling to get into the test side would do themselves more favours with a century in an ODI than a duck.
Speaking as the voice of sanity, I was disgusted by his actions and had a literal panic attack directly caused by his interview. I was vomiting for three days afterwards and have since applied for the Disability Support Pension.
His behaviour is endemic to the masculine "humanity" and we won't be free of the shackles of the patriarchy until they're all castrated and summarily executed.
Bowling and batting are very different.
For instance in a T20 you just need to be able to bowl a slower ball and land a yorker every over, but that kind of bowling is absolute shit in test cricket
Just stocked up on some dripping and lard for tonight boys
I have Italian friends and I don't consider them shitskin. I'm not a liberal,white knight faggot either. They're are a lot of white's in northern Italy and in Spain. Most Greeks are dark skinned
The main thing I've learnt is that it's just fine to objectify women, as long as you only refer to them as "pretty" or "cute". The mental gymnastics going on with this guy is insane
I mean a lot of Italians are considered niggerish( i.e. Jersey shore juice heads) but most Italians are good people. Not to familiar with spaniards but they seem like civilized people. Greeks are another story. It sounds like Italians assimilated into American society better than they did in Australia
Eh, the second generation assimilated fairly well The word wog doesn't really get used too much these days, it was more a 70s and 80s thing.
If it weren't for their appearance and love of divegrass you wouldn't know half of them are Italian these days
Wogs are not shitskins but they are not whites either. Wogs are capable of integrating and accepting australian values and lifestyle. Mostly the children of first generation post war wogs before society become PC.
Real shitskins are very incompatible, they are literally sub-humans and the percentage of them that can integrate to acceptable levels is extremely small, especially in todays PC society. Host society are cucked in to submitting to shitskins culture and forced to change for them.
It's only a generation or two. Most Italians in Australia who are actual Italians or raised by two Italians do fall into stereotypes, but people born and raised here who had maybe an Italian grandma who came out in 1945 are more or less assimilated by now
I unironically like the original Wog Boy. The second movie all they did was get funding from the government via 'film australia', then had massive holiday and pretended to make movie.
I don't know what apologetic, enclave ridden east coast shitholes you people live in, but there is no fucking way any Italian or Spaniard is white, or even remotely assimilated, they're greasy, slicked hair, gold-chained walking fucking stereotypes.
>mfw I have a toasted grilled cheese sandwich
just reminding you lads that /sp/ will be at maximum activity and shitposting on monday due to the handegg games, particularly the Broncos v Pats
i'm telling you this because /cric/ has 404'd multiple times during the playoffs so far due to the large amount of activity in a short space of time, and there will be even more activity on monday due to the Brady v Manning factor
David Warner is the smartest international Cricket player in either tests or limited overs. Not only that, but David Warner is more intelligent than both Barack Obama and Thomas Edison. Do you think I'm joking? I'm not.
Warner scored a 42/50 on the Wonderlic intelligence test. A score of 20 is consistent with average intelligence. To convert a Woderlic score to IQ, double the value and add 60. This means Warner has an IQ of 144.
To add some context, this means David Warner has a higher IQ than the following individuals:
Here are the Wonderlic scores for other relevant Cricket stars:
Alastair Cook - 35
Kane Williamson - 33
Stuart Broad - 28
Virat Kohli - 28
Steve Smith - 27
Marlon Samuels - 6
WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN BAD MOUTHING GREEK AUSTRALIANS?
you'd think india would be good at those
What is the point of this rating?
It's a bit reading Gourmet Traveller to get a rating of burger joints.
Everything you're ranking is so far below the top that why even fucking bother?
Why the fuck is cricinfo advertising betting?
>yfw India is the top test team in the world
cricket is a joke now ICC is ran by BCCI in need of another cricket leading committe asap. Bring cricket over to the states and Canada we'll provide cricket with the goat athletes and fast bowlers that bowl 180km/hr
AB De Villiers came in late and facefucked em really badly. They actually started off slow.
He really wouldn't. This meme needs to die.
Obviously a player with 1940s training wouldn't compete against 2016 training. Bradman with 2016 training is a hypothetical. All we know for certain was that he was GOAT of his own era and his own competition
is canberra one of the meme grounds that poo peelanders complain about?
I know you meme-craving autists are obsessed with KFC - how long until Australia gets Nashville Hot Chicken?
Rahane needs to bat at 3 and kholi at 4, not because kholi can't bat at 3, but because this indian team can't into batting in overs 40-50. Kholi coming in later allows him to meme towards the end of the game because noone else seems to know how to do it
Lion's never going to play another limited overs international match again.