Let's play soccer on this thread.
Post your performance.Let's take it easy!!
I go up the left side to receive the ball. The pass is from oezil so its shit, i have to drift inwards to handle it. Then i see it - a small gap between sakho and mangala. I start sweating, my brain goes into lockdown, i step one, two its getting closer. Sakho racing like a steam engine but i find the space on his left - a faint then a stepover, im past him. I cut inside
I just scored fifteen goals after doing a hat spur to each and one of you after snapping my fingers and none of you can stop me
While you fagsbare playing gayball I'm on the bench striking up cheeky banter with the 10/10 qt's in the stands. Going to give a few the ole lickaroo in the bathroom after the match. Have fun losing nil to nil
>japan makes quite possibly the dumbest thread in the history of /sp/
In other news water is wet guys
>coach puts in the guy flirting with the qt supporters instead of me
I laugh to myself inside as i remember im getting paid 100k a week to pass 5 yards side to side with a team that retains 70 percent of possesion.
We go 2 nil down and i get an early warm bath.
Hey, I'm not happy about it either. What the fuck am I supposed to do out here, coach is blowing my cover. I'm going to just fake an injury after making a play on the ball. H-h-here I go!
DAVE? DAVE? DAVE? DAVE IM OPEN FUCK OFF DAVE YOURE A BOLLOCKSY
>let's play soccer
I'm sorry, I'm not a pre teen school girl, but thanks anyways
I've found some space on the left. Big Robbo switches it to me. I leg it up the line, look up and spot Big Andy making a run into the 6 yard box. He's got his man on toast.
Singles I hit it too hard and the other team take possession
Dubs I land it on his head
I'm gonna play like my hero Christian eriksen.
>pass comes to me
>take a wild heroic shot from 40 yds away
>keeper palms it away
>someone kicks the corner back to me while I'm outside the box
>shoot from we'll outside the box
>rinse repeat for the entirety of the match
>Playing football with mates at the park
>Bunch of Pakis come and challenge us to a game
>We laugh because Pakis are pathetic
>They are all wearing Barcelona shirts
>Disgusting brown skin
>Ugly as fuck
>Dressed in a ridiculous way
>We laugh at the pakis
>accept the challenge
>the brown skinned paki fucks turn out to be really good
>they annoyingly shout ''NEYMAR'', ''ALVES'' and such as they play but completely dominate
fast, strong, good passing
>we can't do anything to stop them it seems
>try to tackle one
>he falls to the ground clutching his knees
>look at them again
>brown, manlets, ugly, stupid clothes
>realise they aren't Pakis
>they are the Barcelona first team
>tfw we humiliated ourselves trying to beat the European Champions
>ball out on the wing in the engine room
>i decide to venture out of my defense zone
>call for ball and fuck up controlling
>nervously blast it 60 yards out of bounds but only about 4 yards away from my goal