Baggage Thread 2.0
The last thread was bretty gud. Trying something new.
You list your good qualities as they relate to a relationship then your perceived or acknowledged negative qualities as small, medium and large. Then people can comment on what's a deal killer or not.
I will make an effort to be interested in/learn about whatever you're into.
Will love and worship you like a puppy
I'm not hideous
I'm not very social, and I will make you talk for me in public
I have a lot of body issues an dwill annoyingly put myself down 112% of the time
I was raped by my mother's boyfriend for about 4 years. I still have night terrors from it, and have some fucked up kinks from it. i.e liking humiliation and borderline masochist.
attractive/intelligent/6'2"/slim/in education/willing to discuss anything for hours on end/well maintained/wide music taste/frugal on oneself/honest
don't lift, some people might not care and others might think this is large (personally this is not something i care about)
i don't interact with anything outside of my house unless my partner would be interested in doing something
some people can't face honesty (specifically that i talk about relationships and partners without romanticization or hyperbole)
who starts these threads?
Sounds interesting. Hope I've done it right.
Open to anythiny, willing to try new experiences
Have been told I'm kind.
Love animals and children.
Small: habbit of swearing that I'm working on fixing. I work in a pub around men who swear so I've picked it up.
Will pee in shower. Social anxiety that I sometimes need someone to push me to talk to a cashier etc.
Insecure as fuck. Need alot of affection and confirmation about myself. Jealous and clingy. Sometimes not rational in my jealousy. Wont let an argument end on a bad note as I dont want it to continue another time. Need affection. High sex drive, will touch partners dick in public if I think I can get away with it. Can hold a grudge. Can be vindictive if fucked with.
My exs have destroyed my confidence as the last 3 have turned around and told me I'm a disgusting worthless person that they regret meeting. I moved in with ex, signed the lease for 6 months then 2 weeks in he left me.
>who starts these threads?
No idea who last time. It was a femanon I believe. It was interesting and a good idea.
>I have a lot of body issues an dwill annoyingly put myself down 112% of the time
That would be an issue. I really can't stand people who do that to themselves. I feel for them but it wears you down. Especially if you care about them. It can make you not care.
>I was raped by my mother's boyfriend for about 4 years. I still have night terrors from it, and have some fucked up kinks from it. i.e liking humiliation and borderline masochist.
Could be an issue for some but not all.
Otherwise you are prob alright.
>Jealous and clingy
>Can be vindictive if fucked with.
Those are pretty bad universally. I get that you have been fucked over but letting go is important. Work on that and you should do fine.
None of these are deal breakers imo
>Jealous and clingy.
>Can hold a grudge
Those are the only ones that would tip me off a bit.
Yeah, I know.
I've been getting better at it, but it's just second nature at this point.
I wasn't sure if I should put it in large or medium.
25 female bisexual
great cook and baker
very easy going
full of movie trivia
shy but able to be social and warm
fun/sarcastic sense of humor
enjoy cleaning (it relaxes me)
keep care of myself (good eating, go to the gym)
Some body issues, mostly fading with time
can be sardonic
have a tendency to want to stay in
have some scars on myself (not from self harm)
have a scar on my face
junk day on the weekend, stuff my face with awful crap
very much speak my mind which gets me into
trouble a lot
sometimes don't notice social cues
raped/kept as a sex slave/pet by my stepfather from 8 until I was 16
faithful to a fault
large sex drive, constant need/want my partner to fuck me
can be mouthy and rude
weird kind of gothy/alt style (light makeup but strange clothing I guess)
>raped/kept as a sex slave/pet by my stepfather from 8 until I was 16
That's not something that's really baggage. How that manifests itself might be. But the other stuff you listed is fine. Prob the perfect partner for some folks.
I should have specified it came with baggage, most of the time stuff like that does. Though I have had lots of time to process it and have seen some specialist about it things can still linger. I have really bad nightmares at times which can result in my screaming or crying in my sleep, I can occasionally have panic attacks but generally only when something 'triggers' (holy shit I hate that word) me like in public if an older man is trying to get past and grabs my arm to move or something similar. I have trust issues with men as well which I really hate because what one person did doesn't equate to everyone else but still it lingers.
>I should have specified it came with baggage, most of the time stuff like that does. Though I have had lots of time to process it and have seen some specialist about it things can still linger. I have really bad nightmares at times which can result in my screaming or crying in my sleep, I can occasionally have panic attacks but generally only when something 'triggers' (holy shit I hate that word) me like in public if an older man is trying to get past and grabs my arm to move or something similar. I have trust issues with men as well which I really hate because what one person did doesn't equate to everyone else but still it lingers.
That's all probably fine. It's something that I think most people would be understanding about. Being 25 you prob met some shitty guys, just statistically, so I hope you have or find a rock who'll stick by you while you heal.
amazing cook, easygoing, happy with going out or just staying in having fun, would never ever cheat, kinky as fuck.. I have a hard time listing things like this ;-;
my mom is an alcoholic and I've shown substance dependency tendencies
I get extremely attached and have an extreme fear of abandonment
diagnosed with severe BPD
If we relate I will be loyal, I'll dance with you, hold you as we cook together, night walks n shit... Read to you
I am not sociable
I have nothing going for me and am not exactly sane
I was physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by my dad
Physically, verbally and emotionally abused by my mum
Physically and verbally abused by her bf
A load of other shit
>diagnosed with severe BPD
I've dated a bit and I can tell you that this and crippling pervasive anxiety issues are the two things I have the most trouble dealing with. I feel for you though, I really do.
You are still very young. Are you seeing someone about it?
Not really replying to guys as it's something I am trying to leave to the ladies but for clarification:
>I have nothing going for me
This sounds like self worth/confidence issues and if so, might be better understandable by others if expressed that way. Stating it as a fact is how you feel about it, I am sure but allow for the fact that you might be wrong.
>am not exactly sane
That is kinda vauge. I get it's related to the issues in the large section but again it kinds depends on how it manifests itself.
Well, I am glad to hear that you are trying and I do hope for the best for you. You are too young to give up.
Too fucking much and boring to list, negatives are so much more entertaining.
>Skinny, and uhh, I like anime/manga and rap?
Muh dick. Though since average dick isn't that big of a deal, how about smoking? I am pretty emotionally distant too, though it's not something you'd be able to tell.
I am a fucking writer. You, me, financial shit, spending time and whatever else comes second. No matter what, a partner would always be distant second priority for me at best.
>Childhood almost always determines the adult you'll become. The manifestation is my personality
Well, I'm not a therapist so I don't really want to engage you unless you genuinely want to hear the thoughts of others. I would disagree though. You are not your traumas, anon.
>I am a fucking writer. You, me, financial shit, spending time and whatever else comes second. No matter what, a partner would always be distant second priority for me at best.
Aren't relationships important in forming a writer?
Not challenging, genuinely curious.
Last thread was interesting, I'll repost with the addition of the good
I get off to my partner getting off. I'm a huge people pleaser, especially in my relationships, and would just want to make you happy.
Though at the same time, I'm not all that clingy either.
I'm very reasonable, I don't do the catty girl games, I'm just relax and chill for the most part. I like to go with the flow, I like to follow your lead while still offering input when desired/necessary.
Kinda chubby still, former landwhale. My peak weight was 180 (im 5'3) back in my high school days. Over the past couple years or so I've lost about 50 and some change of that weight. Currently at 128, and still aiming to get lower.
Because of insecurity of the above, and the constant ridicule I got from it in school, when I finally snapped and decided to lose the weight I didn't exactly go about it in a healthy way.
I'm pretty sure I could be classified as anorexic. I aim to eat less than 500 calories a day, though usually I don't eat more than 300. It's been like this for half a year now. Though I'm aware of it, I don't really intend to stop until I meet my goal. Although my first goal was 130, now it's 115, and I'm already considering a flat 100. I'm not sure when the "goals" will stop changing.
I'm also very insecure about the rest of my body, I feel I have unattractive tits and pussy as well so I get really shy and uncomfortable about showing them.
I'm very paranoid/fearful about sex. I still want to have it, one day, but I just get so anxious about it. Probably ties in with the theme my baggage, but pregnancy is my absolute worst nightmare. I refuse to ever be pregnant, and if I ever became pregnant and couldn't get or go through with an abortion I'd an hero immediately. I'm also probably overly cautious about STD's. So condoms are probably going to be a must for me forever. I'm going to want 3 different forms of BC before I bang anyone.
>I will make you talk for me in public
Kinda annoying but no deal breakers.
>habbit of swearing
Is a fucking pro.
>Will pee in shower.
As long you're doing it when alone in shower, who cares.
Annoying but kay.
>Jealous and clingy
Very annoying. Deal breaker if too excessive.
>Can hold a grudge. Can be vindictive if fucked with.
>can be sardonic
That's a pro, faggot. Same with scars.
>mouthy and rude
>raped/kept as a sex slave/pet by my stepfather from 8 until I was 16
Holy fucking dolly, this is horrible but not a deal breaker in any way. Just makes you more hugable.
>I get extremely attached and have an extreme fear of abandonment
Annoying - deal breaker.
Rest is fine-o.
I remember you, welcome back. Much better picture of you this time. Even your negatives aren't as negative. Good job.
I do hope you'll talk to someone and slow down and get some perspective. What you are doing isn't healthy, physically or emotionally. You seem to know that though. I bet you don't like hearing it though.
Have a snack and a hug, anon.
Yeah, they definitely are, and it's not like I am all THAT solitary, just usually less invested in them then the other person, be it friendships or romantic relationships. It worked fine so far because the people I am close with are similar or at least understanding but I take it would be a big con for most.
I could accept it.
Frankly I don't even like muscular guys. Just skinny twiggy boys. I'm the same way about going out, I'd rather just stay in. And I like to believe I'm pretty real and honest about shit as well.
>not exactly sane
Probably hypocritical coming from the anorexic chick, but I prefer a guy who's got a grasp on himself.
But I'm sorry to hear about the abuse, I hope you can overcome it.
Super unattractive to me, plus I have medical issues regarding smoke. My lungs just can't handle it.
Idk if this would bother me or not, I do kinda have a complex about feeling second best but thats generally about having another person placed over me than something like work or a hobby. Not sure, I'd probably feel neglected though in the long run, so deal breaker.
Everything else though I could probably get over. Dick isn't even an issue at all, large ones actually turn me off personally.
I'm intelligent, have a good career and a car/house etc
Love cooking and I'm pretty good at it.
Goofy sarcastic sense of humor.
Kind of introverted, I don't really like social situations where I have to make small talk with strangers.
Also I like kink, so if you're strictly into vanilla sex it might not work. Inexperienced but willing to try is perfectly ok.
I've cheated in past relationships. Was because I wasn't getting what I thought I needed sexually, so I did it a few times even though I always felt like shit after cheating. Will never do it again.
? Some people would probably put the medium one in here I guess.
Thank you anon, good to be back.
Yeah, like I'm not sure if every anorexic chick isn't delusional in believing what she's doing is right, but idk if that is the case then at least yeah I know this isn't right. And yet, I still have no desire to stop. I'm probably just impatient. I tried doing it the right way before and never saw any results. Only thing that took the weight off was to stop eating. Other day I had about 10 saltine crackers and nothing else and I felt pretty damn proud of myself.
Which is kinda morbid pride. If I can get a flat stomach, I think I'd be ok with everything else, but I've said that before in this wild ride. Just can't seem to shake this little pouch of stomach fat, it's what I hate most.
Understood. If you just HAVE to get it all out then you do.
From an advice perspective though, as a drop out English major it makes me entirely qualified to say that, for young writers it's generally considered important to focus on experiences first and just let the writing come.
Working on finding a life balance might be an important goal for you.
You may never live enough to write about it, or you may write well about a young life and then never be able to write well again.
But what the fuck do I know. I am in IT.
Annnndddd as another unrelated bit of curiosity, do you drink? :-)
Barely qualifies for chubby. Seems like you will be damn close to perfect weight soon. Honestly 115-120 would be super fucking perfect, though I guess it's really hard to stop after making such progress.
You sound pretty lovely overall and seems like insecurity on many levels is the only con but hey, once you get the positive feedback you deserve it should get much better over time.
>or young writers it's generally considered important to focus on experiences first and just let the writing come
Oh I agree 100%. This is the only reason I took tons of different jobs and acted generally more ongoing than I am; trying to bound with lots and lots of different people and all that jazz.
>do you drink?
Is this a rhetorical question? Wine (red obviously), rum, vodka, Jäger, I like it all. Can live perfectly fine without it but would never say no to a drink.
Also where is your thingy, mate?
>Can live perfectly fine without it
Guess that's good but also kinda glad to see you are keeping the tradition alive.
>Also where is your thingy, mate?
I posted in the last thread. I am an outlier amongst this group of folks. Not ashamed, just enjoying what's going on. I am working on mine though. May post in a bit.
Barely qualifies, but still does.
When I asked my doctor for shits and grins where my weight range should be, she told me 115-130 is whats considered healthy for my height and age and all that noise.
So I figure I'm still pushing overweight, and would rather be on the smaller end of "normal" at the very least. I just don't see being underweight as bad as long as I'm attractive. Theres where my skewed priorities lie, I don't actually give a rats ass what's healthy, only what's attractive. If we lived in opposite world where being 400 pounds is whats considered attractive I'd balloon out there too. But here, it seems the majority of people agree smaller the better, especially on women. I only wish I could alter my body frame in general to be a smaller woman. I hate my hour glass figure, just makes me look fatter.
Skeleton-mode, long hair, weak and have fallen off fitness.
Pretty depressed, has peaked in the last two years but is getting a bit better.
Poor, don't drive, I work and don't blow my money too hard, but I just never have much.
Mostly a shut-in. I have no problem going out but rarely do it unless somebody invites me somewhere.
Spend lots of time streaming so that would probably take up relationship time, though I would try to schedule things.
Extremely low self-esteem, would expect you to leave me once somebody more worthwhile came around, though I wouldn't say anything about it
In terms of good for a relationship, I have no idea.
Despite all of the above I am pretty good at faking confidence and I know how to be warm and social. I've been told by girls that I'm very good emotional support.
I work harder for other people than I do for myself, though some would understandably cite that as a negative.
Overall, I really don't feel like I offer much of anything which is probably the reason I've never had a proper relationship
Confident without being overbearing. Not insecure, really. (Anymore)
Happy and chill, at peace, so to speak. Live and let live. Reasonable, even-tempered.
I feel like I have my shit together emotionally, domestically, professionally, and financially.
Not a cheater, ever. Not the jealous type at all, but that doesn't mean I tolerate dishonesty.
Not fugly. Drug and disease free. Non-smoker, etc
Not great at dealing with the emotional problems of others. Not a lack of empathy, but it puts me in a bad place and if exposed for long periods of time, I can't really take it.
I need to work to be social, so I am, but not by nature.
Need personal space at least some time everyday, especially first thing in the morning. Got get my coffee before I can handle words, coming or going.
Have 2 cats
I respond poorly to authority and restraint. No *desire* to get married.
Marriage would be doable if practical. (Together 5 years, still going well, makes sense for us.)
Definitely do not want kids. Probably getting a vasectomy this year. I've dated women with grown kids though.
I don't sleep well with other people in the bed, especially while cuddling. Love to cuddle but not while trying to sleep. I cannot shut my brain off if someone is touching me/moving around a lot. I snore sometimes.
I dislike dogs intensely. I don't hate them, I don't want to harm them or see them harmed, and I am as disgusted by violence against dogs as I am against cats. I just do not want any dog of any kind in my personal space.
Small cock, functional, but pretty damn small.
Overweight but not super obese, just over the line. But I swing 20-25 lbs back and forth. Thinner and healthier when in a relationship with a motivator (and cook desu)
Pretty submissive in bed. No actual BDSM, dress-up, humil or role-playing. Strap-ons and aggressiveness, basically, but not exclusively. Not good at being dom.
Yeah, I feel ya, very similar for me too, although more of an "attractive for me" and don't care about general perception of it too much.
Though majority also agrees that below 115 wouldn't be attractive anymore yo.
>Have 2 cats
Is a fucking pro unless somebody has allergy.
My whole life's existence revolves around the goal of finding someone to settle down with and share/spend my life with, so I place a lot of value on how others view me, physically at least, because my whole thing is wanting to attract a potential partner.
Its funny, because I'm pretty confident with my personality. I don't care if other people don't like my personality, I just figure I probably won't like theirs then in return if thats the case.
And I feel like if I could attract a guy physically I have a good chance of keeping him around with my personality. That kind of thing.
Of course I recognize my bad traits, and won't try to glorify those and also try to work on them. I just feel like the only thing keeping me out of this life I want is the fact I'm so physically unappealing. Looks get you in, personality lets you stay imo. I can't even get in.
just fyi, your body will be a lot more well-shaped and physically appealing if you put on muscle. Take that obsession with undereating and put it to lifting and eating for strength gain. You're a women, so without roids you won't look buff; it'll only give you strength and make your weight look good instead of like flab.
I hate the way muscle looks though. even small amounts on women just look manish to me idk.
And I don't care much for strength. Matter of fact being physically weak is kind of a plus to me. I have this fantasy type thing of being the "weak helpless girl" stereotype kinda thing. IDK how to explain it well.
I want to look how those naturally skinny girls look, the kind that can eat whatever they want but never gain weight or have to hit the gym, that look. The ones who are really tiny and mousy too.
Basically like the stereotypical little tiny asian girl, that kind of body is perfect imo lol.
I still have a hard time imagining your body looking good with starvation vs a little bit of iron. I think you're seriously overestimating the kind of visible muscle you'll gain, especially if you still have fat on your body.
Sounds surprising indeed. I can see why a lot would complain about "no kids" or "small cock" as deal breakers but cats? Damn. Two sounds like a perfectly sensible number.
I mostly agree with your thinking but it seems bit simplistic at parts. If you attract potential partners mostly with your looks, this is what their priority will be, and no matter how much you take care of your own body, your looks will be the first to fade if we're talking about settling and really long relationships.
Though with male attraction you're right that looks is a very important factor to get in. Vice versa it seems easier to get girls attention just with a cool personality as long you're not super ugly.
Toning seems like the logical next step tbqh. Also getting real muscle is damn hard for a chick either way and needs A LOT work.
I'm very loyal
Interesting to talk to (I think)
Generally open minded
Respectful and considerate
Laid back including when I'm fucked up
Shit diet (working on that)
Bad blood with parents
I'm too considerate, have contradicting feelings
Can be emotionally manipulated easily
I think sex gets monotonous
I overthink things, leads to jealousy
Hard to motivate
No high aspirations
I can't date someone who likes different music (fucking stupid I know, can expand on this)
High school drop out
Low self confidence
Cant eat in public
Undiagnosed mental disorders (I assume)
I'll cut it off there. Great thread idea.
>I overthink things, leads to jealousy
>I can't date someone who likes different music
And yeah, the latter is beyond fucking stupid. Your only excuse for that is age.
The thing with music isnt that I think what I like is the best, it's that a lot of songs "trigger" my depression. And I really strongly relate reoccurring trends in music genres with the other person personality. Like for example I think most pop music is trashy and slutty and so when I have a partner who only likes pop music I assume they are as facticious and plastic as the stuff they pump into their brains. Man I sound fucking conservative.
Good- fit, I like
Small: I like boobs and want nudes on snapchat a lot of the time or sex
Medium: low key I hate my family and parents and I
Probably wouldn't let you
Large: I'm joining the ARMY
25 m no homo
Great sense of humor, people naturally like me, very calm and don't get angry or pissed off.
I do not under any circumstances get angry or pissed off
I have autism
Also >>23299908 sounds like a good person would love tenderly/10.
18/mtf(been on hormones since b4 puberty so i pass af)/straight
im really studious
i really like learning things (in all advance
i dont have the capacity for anger
i speak a few languages
i learn kpop dances
hate lovey-dovey stuff kind of
never been in a relationship
kind of awkward after a while
----i do really well with people i dont know, and make friends really easily. but i have issues maintaining those relationships.
insecure about whether to keep my dick or not
do better with people who are cold to me than people who are nice
----respond better to coldness/meanness, but still need to be affirmed
Will be big-spoon 50% of the time.
React well to constructive criticism (comes with the field I’m in.)
Good at knowing when you just need me to listen to you rant or when you want advice.
Don’t need your constant attention or approval.
Love participating in your passions and hobbies, and I love sharing mine. (I love baking with others. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be ours and fun.)
I hear I’m sexually intimidating. (High magic number, I guess.)
Need some alone-time everyday, especially after work. Recharge my batteries and all that.
I’m not going to have children, ever. Not looking to adopt either (unless we’re talking shelter cats/dogs.)
I need sex (well, masturbation/orgasms) at least 3 times a day or it affects my mood.
I’m sexually attracted to male dogs.
>i do really well with people i dont know, and make friends really easily. but i have issues maintaining those relationships.
>do better with people who are cold to me than people who are nice
>React well to constructive criticism (comes with the field I’m in.)
Do tell more please.
As for the bad stuff ... not sure if "no kids" is a deal breaker, why not even adopt? Dogs sure would be if it goes beyond fantasy.
Tall ,funny ,good looking, effervescent extroverted and a great tour guide. Fantastic in bed.
I have OCD about my weird collections
I'm told my wardrobe is VERY bad.
I get uncontrollably obsessive about facts and history pertaining to my home state. I get manic and go on adventures that can last over a week where I bounce around the state like a giant pinball. I often break the law (but only the stupid ones) and get in trouble. Once I'm on a bent I can't stop I take meds but I hate them and go off frequently.
I’m used to showing my work to my team on daily basis and get feedback on it, same goes for personal things too. I’ve become good at not taking it as a personal attack, because (usually) we share a common goal and the only way you can become better at something is to know you’re doing something wrong to begin with.
And because I have no interest in raising kids.
Hm, what if it had gone beyond fantasy before -but not during a relationship?
lighthearted, try to be understanding and like making people i admire happy
open minded and really accepting of others as long as they're sincere
will devote to things
poor. didn't go to college, not really sure what next step is
weight issues all my life, arm flab, silvery light stretch marks everywhere. horrible stretch mark indentations across stomach super self conscious about even though they're pale and not visible unless directly staring at or touching belly. only ones that aren't smooth and bother me most.
nips are uneven, tits kinda sag
basically hate everyone who isn't as nice to others upon approach as i am
turn into a ruthless bitch to anyone who tries to overpower me or is in general ill mannered and badly behaved
severe anxiety and low self esteem keeps me from getting job, bf, travelling etc
not really driven to do anything but shed kilos to get bf -> marathon fucking
bit delusional about love and what kind of future i want
kind of clingy and dependent but refuse to acknowledge it
in need of constant emotional support due to childhood trauma
I think the fact that you didn't go to college and you're not sure what the next step is... is a bigger dealbreaker than you not having any savings/being clingy/weight issues/ueven nipples/saggy boobs. Really, everyone have stretch marks and barely anyone notice them.
You don't have more good stuff about yourself?
Mhmm, pretty cool.
Because of effort/energy or money, or something else?
Well, I'd still poke fun at you but unless you did something truly horrible, I don't care about the past, so no deal breakers I guess. Although the no kids thing is a big "con".
>didn't go to college, not really sure what next step is
>not really driven to do anything
Huge deal breakers. The rest, not so much.
small and huggable
lots of interests
educated, but not in your face about it
will let you touch my butt
i only go out once every couple weeks, if even that
a little bit directionless
childish in the way that i like things little kids would like
i have a raging daddy kink and i would be 100% subservient to the right person
on the flip side if i don't respect someone or if i see the opportunity to take advantage of someone i will treat them with all tsun and no dere
i'm a schizo recovering from cancer
I'm really relaxed and don't really get mad about much of anything.
I love animals a lot?
People can talk to me about anything even if I don't know about the subject because I'm willing to learn while we're talking about it.
I'm very dedicated in relationships.
I'm TOO dedicated to the point I get clingy. I also get very jealous very easily. (Though all I do when I'm jealous is sulk passive aggressively.)
I'm a shut in who doesn't do much besides play video games.
I'm on disability and thus almost always broke.
Did I do this right?
College graduate, live on my own, financially independent
Passionate and proud of my career
Competitive, hard-working, independent
I work out, have great hygiene, take care of myself, and know how to dress
Good at all things domestic - especially cooking, cleaning and maintaining a nice looking home
Very loyal, affectionate and loving towards my SO
Loves dogs and nature
Down to binge watch a show snuggled up on the couch, or go outside and hike a mountian for the day
Not overweight or super ugly (I think)
Probably not a big deal to many, but I thoroughly enjoy wine and like to have a glass or two about 4 nights a week
Some nerdy interests - anime and old school vidya, still have my N64
Introverted, only a few close friends
I'm comfortable with small talk, but usually leave parties or social events early because I get bored.
"I would rather be home on the internet right now."
Doesn't like cats
Lean more towards domanint and bossy than submissive
Insecure about my appearance and uncomfortable being seen in public without any makeup
Perfectionist who struggles with self-doubt regularly - Am I doing okay at work? Do I look okay today? Did I handle that situation well? Did I say the wrong thing?
Hold myself to high standards and end up expecting the same of others who are close to me, usually my family and close friends. Consequently, I can be very critical and am often dissappointed. I know I have to work on this.
Holy shit glad to see this thread is still going.
>I hear I’m sexually intimidating. (High magic number, I guess.)
Unfortunately that shouldn't be a problem but I know that it is for some. For a reasonably mature person that shouldn't be an issue at all
>I need sex (well, masturbation/orgasms) at least 3 times a day or it affects my mood.
Oh man, that is a lot. Quite a lot. It sounds great but rarely is from a relationship standpoint, and since you say it affects your mood then it may well be a need.
I know a guy who's marriage broke up because his wife had a very high sex drive and his was what he would call normal. The fact that he wasn't able to keep up made him feel worthless. Finding someone who is sexually compatible is almost as difficult as finding someone who is mood compatible.
>I’m sexually attracted to male dogs.
I have no idea what to say to this since it's outside my realm of ability to understand. I can say that revealing this to partners might be an issue. They might be repulsed of course but I think it might also be bad if they are turned on by it. I can imagine all sorts of problems.
There are so many contradictions here and you are a bit scattered all over the place so I can't really understand where you are coming from.
You say things like
>bit delusional about love and what kind of future i want
>kind of clingy and dependent but refuse to acknowledge it
Which actually shows some self awareness, but then you try to neuter it. Sorting this kind of shit out is key, and self awareness is a son-of-a-bitch, believe me, I know, but you are young and have time. If it's overwhelming and you don't feel like you are making progress you might need to talk to someone. Even if to only talk about the body issues.
>i'm a schizo
Is that a description of how you see your personality and actions or is there a diagnosis? If there is then how it manifests itself is kind of key to understanding if that's truly an issue or not.
None of your stuff is bad at all and some of it is perfectly normal. You seem to have your shit together in general and I think the insecurity will only get better as you get older.
You wrote a lot of positive stuff about yourself, which is not the norm is you look at the other young women in this thread. That's a damn good sign that you do really like yourself and that greater confidence is around the corner.
diagnosed. i'm on meds so i'm okay most of the time. only really manifests itself in malicious voices. i hear them on occasion even when i do take my meds, but it doesn't really affect me 90% of the time. the other times i just need to take a breather, usually have somebody talk me down. no biggie to me, but most people think that schizo=crazy.
Not usually responding to guys but I had to say some things:
I don't want this to sound shitty and I'm not trolling, see my other responses in this thread but,
You sound a bit like the 'manic pixie dream guy'. If that has no meaning to you swap guy with girl and google.
I'm not even sure that's a criticism of you. Just the first thing I thought of.
Dude, seriously, you need to understand how unattractive that is. Writing or saying things like that are a major turn off for MOST human beings. I get that you feel that way but you are your own worst enemy with that kind of stuff.
So looking at - >>23300322
You say yourself you have low self esteem. If you wear it like a coat, and say things like the above then you ARE unattractive to most folks. Not physically but personally.
You've got a bit of "nice guy syndrome" going on too.
Otherwise you are probably a fine person. You really need to work on yourself. Learning to like and value yourself first before you can be valuable to other people.
>diagnosed. i'm on meds so i'm okay most of the time. only really manifests itself in malicious voices. i hear them on occasion even when i do take my meds, but it doesn't really affect me 90% of the time. the other times i just need to take a breather, usually have somebody talk me down. no biggie to me, but most people think that schizo=crazy.
Well, good. You just need someone who is understanding and not judgmental who will listen to you talk about your illness in those terms. Just explain it that way, and I think people will be understanding. I'm glad to hear it's not too severe.
You might be one of the few. I'm located in northern europe at the moment.
A mix of effort/money. I really don't want to take care of kids or give birth to any. I'm fine with being an aunt and babysitting from time to time for my brothers, but at the end of the few hours they are picked up and I can go on with my own life. I want to spend my money and freetime doing things I want (or partner wants.)
That's interesting to me. My ex was fine with it as long as I didn't pursue anything because he considered it cheating. (and well, it is I guess.)
It has almost always become an issue when a guy asks and I answer honestly, so I don't answer it anymore and instead say the past is the past or some bullshit. It seems to make them think that they have to "make up" for something or make them insecure and need confirmation that yes, they are doing great and I'm having a good time. Or they start considering me a slut or a prostitute.
Being sexually compatible is so, so important. I have met men I get along very well with who swears they have a high sex drive and it sounds "awesome." But when they can't keep up you do get those sneaking thoughts "Is there something wrong with me?" and they feel shitty because you need sex all the time. I've learned that I don't need -sex-, but rather an orgasm so it's bearable? But then I need a man who doesn't feel insecure about me using toys or masturbating (like my ex, he felt shitty and "replaced" if I used them.)
And lol, that is one of the nicer/most neutral messages I've gotten regards my attraction to dogs. I can just say that sexuality is very... fluid, I guess? I don't reveal it to a lot of people because I can imagine all sorts of problems as well. :P
>no biggie to me, but most people think that schizo=crazy.
That's not it, but I've got some (albeit rather minor) psychological problems myself and I know that I wouldn't pair well with someone else that has problems of this kind. I'm way too afraid of stuff like that enhancing each other when both of us had a bad time - at the same time.
>But then I need a man who doesn't feel insecure about me using toys or masturbating (like my ex, he felt shitty and "replaced" if I used them.)
This actually goes both ways too. Some women are appalled if you jerk off rather than come to them and ask 'for assistance' but the honest truth is that sometimes it's impulsive and you just want to take care of it and be done and move on. It's a distraction that needs to be gotten rid of so that the rest of life can proceed. Even when it's a quickie with a partner that whole thing can be a distraction in and of itself. It's a selfish act and it kinda needs to stay that way.
The dog thing. It doesn't repulse me and it doesn't turn me on. The attraction itself is fine and dandy as far as I am concerned. And what you did in the past is not something that would bother me either. I have some ethical and moral issues with acting on it. And to be honest, it's not an absolute it's just too difficult to reason out and understand. I know having that kind of activity that in my home would not be ok with me. But, of course, I don't like dogs anyway. :-)
But yeah, as long as it's not a "need" then it should have no effect on you, so keeping it from partners shouldn't be an issue.
I'm pretty intelligent. Have good memory. Funny. Good friend. Generally useful. Fighter. Driver. Good sound guy. Calm and collected. Patient. Sweethearted. Cheery disposition. Great listener. Observant. Morally upright. Chivalrous. Educated. Self-employed. Responsible. Take care of my stuff. Researcher. Organized. Good partner. Thinker. Good cook. Badass.
Bad at Art, being on time, not great with money, style-challenged, a little bit too gullible, strange, secretly depressed, too open, and I tend to over think things a lot.
Small baggage: smoke weed every day 420 blaze it fgt. I like weird music. Drive a little bit scary. Push the envelope type of personality. Tons of close friends, sometimes too many to keep up with.
Medium: torment myself over any failure. Am judgemental as fuck, but really really quick to change those ideas when presented with new info. Will get carried away cleaning up stuff by something stupid like moving one cup. Snobby about movies, tv shows, music and arts.
Large: Schizophrenic. Like crossdressing. Kinky. Festival goer and raver. Do some drug drugs, no meth or heroin though. Not very often either. Fear of real adulthood (mainly procreation). Can be overly emotional as well as cold and detached at the same time. Life is sorta fucked up at the moment but I'm always going to get up and try again harder. No car, no money, shit job, low status, no place of my own.