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i don't understand how to regulate my...
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i don't understand how to regulate my emotions, whether it's natural "herbal" holistic-esque remedies, eating better with exercise, SSRIs, weed, i always remain the same

i remained on SSRIs because it at least gave me a more neutral mood rather than negative/angry, but now i have absolutely no motivation to do anything. i go for days without brushing my teeth, eating properly (then i binge eat usually and throw up), without showering, without doing my dishes or cleaning my apartment, changing clothes

i feel very disgusting and broken. i don't want to die or kill myself or anything, but i don't know how to get that zest back. how can i get stimulated, and by what

i just wish i could feel things properly. i've been upped to 30mg of escitalopram which is higher than the recommended dosage, which leads to me having to get EKGs frequently to ensure my hearts electricity is ok, but i just feel the anger coming back more often. i was ok for a few months at 30mg but i get irritated and agitated more, and i feel it may just be because i have a lack of stimulation. i've tried. i've beaten 3 games in january, read 7 books, adopted a new pet, picked up new tv series', hell i've even gotten together with some people to play board games. but still. i'm dull
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Hey, I've been where you are(not brushing teeth/showering, no motivation to do anything even clean up etc). Did you try meditation? Helps you with emotions A TON, it's not difficult but you have to be consistent and patient since it takes a while. Use pic related it's good (it's simple infographic but this is how it is done there is nothing more to it). Just slowly increase the duration from 10 minutes to at least 45 or more if you are comfortable with it. If you want, read Zen mind beginner mind it gives you a bit of a philosophical/religious background to it and it explains stuff about emotions and what are the goals from the buddhist perspective but it's not necessary for it to work.
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are you me or
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Why do you want to regulate your emotions? You should be expressing those things man, it's unhealthy to hold them in. I recommend screaming to yourself every once in awhile (I do it when I'm driving on the highway so nobody can hear), it feels great and it gets you more ready to express yourself to people around you, which is way more fun and fulfilling than simply being around people to fill some sort of social quota.
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