I can't say I cope well but I try to just find things to take my mind off it, during the winter is this difficult because as if one has the motivation to go outside when it's lashing down with wind and rain, but during the summer it's nice to go for a walk because the sun is honestly nice for feeling better about life, I mean how can you not help but feel better when the sun is shining, plus it makes girls wear nice clothes in the summer. I also suggest finding something that is constant, most sports and television suck because they have "seasons", you need something which is all year round.
>>23293966 Yeah it's pretty much when that idle thing kicks in that those bad feelings start creeping in. I am slowly running out of things to do though. I spent years listening to different genres and subgenres of music, a few years watching every film I wanted to see, I went through the weed phase, the drinking myself to sleep in the afternoon phase, watched every TV show I wanted to see and some. I just am running out of things, as I'm getting older.
I flirt with women and traps constantly to make myself feel some modicum of self-esteem. I have no interest in most of em but I lead them on and dump em. If they prove themselves to be especially dear / know how to make me feel wanted i keep em around and throw em a crumb here and there to keep em sticking around.
I think delusion is my go to way to cope. I just keep telling myself it'll get better when X thing happens. And when it doesn't, well it has to when Y thing happens. And when it doesn't, well you get the gist. Started making unattainable situations to "fix everything" so that this cycle can last longer (like getting a boyfriend kek). I find as long as I have that thing to cling to and look forward to I can at least find the energy to move on to the next day. Waiting to turn 21 currently, blaming my lack of social life on the fact that I can't get into bars where everyone else my age goes to hang out and meet people. But that's only a few months away and I'll lose that delusion and have to find something else to pretend that will fix my issues.
>>23296626 I mean idk, probably another delusion but I figure for grills its probably easier. We're at least not generally expected to approach you, with social gender roles and whatnot. So I'll just sit around for the dudes to maybe come talk to if they strike out with the much more attractive women.
Oh yeah that reminds me, my other delusion. If I lose enough weight I'll be attractive enough for dudes to want! And then my weight goals just keep getting lower and lower as I reach them until where I am now where I'm pretty sure I gave myself anorexia on that one. It is what it is. At least I'm not borderline obese anymore.
Music, a game of some sort, company of a friend or more, watching a movie/tv/videos, and drawing or anything creative you like to do. That's how I deal with stuff like that Basically distractions and stuff like some have already said here.
>have social anxiety >get panic attacks when talking to people >meet girl from /soc/ a few weeks ago >she doesnt know but ive been using her as practice and a way to season myself to talk to girls >literally spending all day long writing down notes and things to talk about to use when she calls me later in the day >drink a shit load of caffiene and take tons of my ritalin right before she calls >mfw she always says she's going to call me so I take all my shit but then waits like an hour before actually calling
this only gets more depressing as I get a bit older. I'm 26 now and it feels like my life is going to slowly collapse around me until I have no reason to go on. I try to see through that tunnel vision but it can be really hard sometimes.
I feel like it's a cruel joke that I should suffer with depression AND social anxiety/GAD because it means not only am i fucking miserable, I also have no real friends. I can't maintain friendships; meeting people is ok so long as it doesn't go beyond that one interaction. I can't begin a new relationship, too much anxiety. Can't reconnect with old friends, too much anxiety. I kept flaking out on the few friends I had, so I just withdrew from them altogether.
i've been with the same guy for several years and i glom onto his friends when they come to hang out with him, that's about it. Also have a sister who is perfectly well adjusted, occasionally glom onto her outings with friends too.
I am generally just overwhelmed by how pathetic I feel, and how pointless life feels all of the time.
I used to drink a shit ton when i was 20-21, the depression was so bad and I felt really isolated. I would occasionally get v wasted and go home with randos. one time i went with some guy that a classmate introduced me to, passed out several times in the cab, got to his place and began crying in fetal position. he kept asking me "do you still wanna do anything or no?" I distinctly remember crying and repeating no. Then remember being on my stomach and the guy was fucking me. Feel like this was a forced situation but have a hard time acknowledging it as a "rape". i guess it was, I don't fucking know.
yay depression and substance abuse. I still drink a fair amount but can't put away nearly as much now that my metabolism slowed down a little. Occasionally I smoke weed to relax and ease chronic pain that seems to have arisen, i don't consider this substance abuse though, just the alcohol and pills when I can get them.
Every day i have moments but I get better. I'm an addiction counselor. Food Is my coping mechanism. I used to weigh over 300 pounds. I'm around 200 now. Positive people and healthier hobbies. Feel free to talk. Kik: JustASpanking
I know pretty close how you feel. Although, I suppose one good thing you can say is that you have enough confidence to at least fool around with people. About 98% when I'm in public, my mind goes blank and I can't even carry on a basic conversation for 10 minutes.
Though, from the look of things, that sounds like rape. It's good that you at least recognize what it really was. Have you told anyone else about it?
>>23298319 >>23298325 thanks anon. I'm going to sleep but I'll save your kik. mine is Sociallyacceptable
>>23298419 whoa. did you ever take meds? I always hear such differing stories about meds, my bf is bipolar and he hated them so much, he said it made him a shell of a human. I can't understand what it's like to hear things, but if the meds are even worse than the original symptoms, then damn, I really couldn't argue when he wanted to stop taking them.
>>23298420 i too feel like a failure as an adult/failure as an artist since I never even got a "career" off the ground. People say there is still time bc we're young, but if I don't do it now, I feel like it's just not gonna happen.
I only told one therapist, and told my boyfriend, no one else knows. I was on the fence about telling the bf but somehoe it came out, and I actually am glad I told.
I like to get really fucked up and explore Yume nikki and other fan games. Its like exploring a whole other dimension and sometimes it feels like an abstract representation of my mind. I still listen to the music on repeat for hours sometimes. Anyone know of any other trippy things like Yume nikki?
>>23298466 > if I don't do it now, I feel like it's just not gonna happen.
Yup, I'm right there with you. Before depression kicked in, I used practice and play my guitar ever single day. But, afterwards, all my interest and energy fell dead at my feet. Like, I have the equipment to both record/produce music and to brew my own beer. Though, every time I begin to try to make progress on getting better at either (or just to start up again), I remind myself I'm a failure and I stop doing anything.
How did both the therapist and your boyfriend respond to that news? Either say anything about reporting it?
>>23293085 Hi I'm Jacob, I'm 23 and have depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
At the moment I seem to be coping quite well but I'm kinda pilled up on different meds that I'm not 100% sure what I'm feeling. The worst thing is honestly the feeling of crippling loneliness and feeling like everyone else is better than I am.
I try and distract myself with video games and music that completely overwhelms me. The less time I spend thinking about stuff in the world, the better I feel.
I get the feeling of hopelessness quite often and have been suicidal before but I at least have that under control lately. I have the worst time when conversing with people that I think are judging me. If I think someone thinks that I'm not literally perfect I freak out and want to basically cry.
I'm always chasing something that I think will make me happy (like a loving partner) but I think even with them I'll still be unhappy because the gut feeling comes first and then attaches itself to everything in my life.
I go to therapy and all that but I just wish I could feel like I don't have to be perfect or at least close to.
>>23298535 i may have downplayed it so that they wouldn't suggest reporting it. But also it was at least 2 years after the fact by the time I told the therapist, then later told bf. my bf was pretty understanding, allowed me to cry and didn't push the subject nor did he dismiss it. good guy.
the dude who "did" it seemed to be a decent person, we had both been drinking, yadda yadda. maybe the fact that he was still willing to do it makes him not a good person, but somehow its hard to think that, I think he didn't see it as a violation. idk. i just simply never contacted him again, and didn't say anything to him about the fact that i didnt consent, i just left...he probably forgot about it immediately...
well gnight for now I will see if the thread is still up after work tmw, have a good night all (or try)
i have a lot of psychological disorders, such as bipolar type 2, borderline and clinical depression, but i pay little mind to them. they are diagnoses for what they see and based on that, they give me the appropriate treatment. i dont think any more of them.
honestly im not depressed because im a degenerate tranny, i'm more depressed about general social anxiety, the future being bleak and having no real reason to do anything. i've finished my bachelor in webdesign but i'm unable to work as i suffer from extreme anxiety at work. i can work 2 days a week, tops. then i break down completely.
ive been cutting and doing drugs for about 4 years now, cutting less so. doing opiates such as oxycodone and heroin help me get through the day, aside from being on numerous ssri's and anti-psychotics prescribed to my from my psychiatrist.
i cope by doing drugs. i would of course not recommend this to anyone, but i have no real reason to do anything or even be able to do. the only reason i haven't killed myself is because i have my lovely caring parents. i couldn't do that to them.
I'm a trap in my early 20s. I can't function in the outside world, although I try time to time with the necessary things.
I'm bad at socializing, and especially so towards people who might not be so understanding of it. I struggle with loneliness a lot, but on the other hand I also struggle because I lack likeminded people and most others manage to make me feel bad about myself either intentionally or without meaning to.
Don't really have a lot of coping mechanisms beside various forms of escapism / entertainment. I read a lot of books too (always welcoming suggestions) and listening to music. I write some poems too, but that's mostly just to vent out feelings I'm unable to share otherwise.
I have a fascination towards a lot of things and consider myself to be pretty bright, I like learning and understanding new things. Supernatural phenomena and the occult interest me a lot.
Would like if someone who's not so bothered about my social retardness wanted to talk to me. I also have skype, but would prefer to get to know you a bit through kik first.
dont let the normieness fool you, i try my hardest to fit in with my hoodrat peers honestly if you just force yourself to be sociable even if it feels uncomfortable it can get better, it definetly worked for me, i used to be the biggest sperglord ever
i dont like to say im depressed because the word is overused by attentionwhores but lets say i've been unhappy with my life for years you know, the typical sperg stuff: loner, kissless virgin, self hate, awkwardness, fail at everything, dissapointed parents.. all that good stuff plus things like a lot of family problems, having to deal with being a closetfag and knowing my family would fucking disown me if they knew, having a deadbeat schizo dad, being worried about my own mental health (sorry im not gonna tell the things i do that make me worry about my sanity, im ashamed of it brehs), not knowing where the fuck im heading in life, knowing that soon im gonna go back to having no shekels, having bad anger problems, being frustrated about know there's no way i accomplis my childish dream, getting a lot of injuries playing sports because muh knees etc etc
honesty i think a lot about ending it all but not to take the easy way out and get away from my problems, but more because i dont really wanna keep going, like i dont see the point in seeing what happens next since it seems to only get worse every year anyone else feel like this?
>>23299520 for large parts, yeah, i feel you. we might be battling largely different problems but a lot of the underlying things feel similar, at least to a certain extent..
>failing in life >disappointed family >no direction whatsoever >thinking about ending it all because feels like there isn't point to it >awkwardness >loner
i'm not going to spout the platitudes of it getting better, you deserving better things (although you might, it just isn't for me to say), of having to battle on, "there's still hope" etc.. it feels hypocritical and a little wrong because i'm very hopeless myself.
>>23293085 I manage my anxiety by counting to number four numerous times. Like I'm kinda anxious, so I just mentally count to 4 several times while I'm doing whatever I feel is right to do. There are also times when I feel like I'm acting gay, and that makes me anxious, so I repeat to myself 'being gay is good'.
Get antidepressants and just try to survive is what I usually do. Sometimes I think of committing suicide but thinking of my family and friends stops me from doing that thankfully. If I had none of those I would have shot myself dead by now.
>>23299381 I'm 27 chubby male, I had interest in occult and religion few years ago, before becoming an atheist. I started with new age, but moved to gnosticism. I know some stuff about antroposophy, and its related schools, russian misticism, and I find Crowly a bit interesting (but i don't have time to read more unfortunately). I also like theravada budhism, and I was so much into J. Krishnamurti and C. G. Jung. I love art, especially music, and i come from STEM field so I also have a fine knowledge of science.
I'm curious about everything, and I love to talk when I have time. But I don't have kik. And I live on the other side of planet. Wanna leave you my email if you are interested?
>>23301475 >any other forms of communication I hope I didn't sound like granpa. I use skype, and fb. I could install kik, though I've never used it (and I'm used to plain old keyboard). Is it a chat app or what?
>>23301572 Nah, don't worry! Most of these things are much lost on myself too. I use kik because it's pretty neat for a mobile application to be in touch with internet people. You can leave me your skype too, if that would be more convenient.. I use it the most along with kik.
>>23301651 Depends on what kind of occult are you talking about...
For theosophy and antroposophy look at the works of Rudolf Steiner and Helena Blavatsky, though steiner was more systematic and interesting. His works can be found translated at
There are two particularly interesting to me derivatives of this school. The Rosicrucian Fellowship (http://www.rosicrucian.com/) and its derivative (that is complete opposite in the fundamental premisses, but uses the same language) the Lectorium Rosicrucianum (though, you should probably get in contact with them or buy their books, because its hard to find online/unless you know russian)
Speaking of Russians, google Peter Uspensky and Gurdjieff...
Concerning theravada, try googling 'theravada free books'. I got my books for free from local theravada society, but they are not in English.
Here is a random site I've just found: http://www.buddhanet.net/ebooks_s.htm Read Dhammapada. I can recommend authors Ajahn Chah and Bhikkhu Bodhi
Concerning other occult, such as satanisam, neopaganism and similar, I'm not so much familiar, but they build on the foundations similar to steiner.
For example, search for the book The Mystical Qabalah, author Dion Fortune. She is basically mixing a very small bit of ceremonial magic building on works of Eliphas Levi, and uses Jungian and Freudian psychology to explain the symbolism behind Qabalah.
I either tell myself nothing matters and feel bad, but know it won't matter or I do nothing and just go through feeling like shit. I think I'm going to kill myself one day, but I don't know. There's things I like and don't want to leave and things I don't like that make me want to go ahead with it.
I really wish I could take the drug route, but there's too many problems with that. I try drinking but after just a few beers, all the issues are just amplified.
>>23293085 I get really really drunk to the point where i don't give a fuck. Then the next day i feel sick and go over everything i did when drunk thinking about how much of an annoying loudmouth i was.
I just sleep when thoughts get realllly unbearable, and when Im awake I do my best to inch towards a few goals I have set for myself. Most are very far away, but some are close so it's nice to see myself make progress. Idk ya'll. Learn skills. Consume media. Make money. Adventure.
i make lists of the little things and separate them from the bigger things i want to accomplish, so i know realistically what it'll take to do those things, and not get bent out of shape when/if i feel like i'm failing. when i get upset i tend to forget and over look all the things i've accomplished, so having those lists shows me right before my eyes that this isn't true.
might sound lame/simple, but learning what i can do RIGHT NOW versus what i have to work towards in other steps has helped me so much in taking control of my life. structure (or lack of) can make or break some people.
>>23296879 24/female here, i might be pretty boring but if you want someone to practice with, no judgement, i'd be willing to chat back and forth.
>>23298270 i have trouble making friends, but do have some great ones that have been made with fellow people with social anxiety.
although being open about your mental illness can be hard, you can find people who understand by being upfront about it from the beginning so you have nothing to hide. i have a close friend that i started off the friendship with by telling her right away i might not keep in contact consistently. she was totally okay with it and 10 years later, we're still friends.
you just have to keep trying, there are people out there who understand and work with you.
19/F, I have anxiety, and have only recently gotten a handle on my depression. I used to cut and smoke whenever I had an episode (panic or depressive). I only started to get better when I realized my "trigger" was loneliness and quiet; if I had/have too much free time to think, I get obsessive, paranoid, and out of control. I got a bit better by channeling my energy into other things. I volunteer a lot and worked at a charity for a while (my main criticism of myself was that I wasn't doing enough for the world lol it's dumb but it helped me), started a photography business to have something to fill even more time, enrolled in online courses... I've never had the urge to cut or smoke since. I still have pretty bad anxiety, by normal standards, but I love people, so it's pretty shitty to be dropping spaghetti whenever I try to make friends. In the grand scheme of things, it could be worse lol
I have general and social anxiety, depression, and very high-functioning aspergers. I don't cope well. I take meds, exercise, eat healthy, have counseling and I'm still fucked. Smoking weed, being alone and having a pet helps
>severe social anxiety >some other "issues" that are non-issues >oddly no depression now or in the past
32 - male There comes a point when you run out of fucks to give; a point when you realize no one cares, no one is willing to help, and that dwelling on it is doing more damage than just letting go. I almost never leave the house. Being out in public is like a constant low-level panic attack. I spend most of my time engaging in fruitless hobbies, playing entirely too much video games, and just generally wasting valuable oxygen. I don't care though. i feel bad nor good about any of it and just simply go through the cycle. I'm even at the point where i don't even bother trying to talk to others online most of the time. There isn't much difference to the tangible world. People just don't seem to care or have next to no patience. I fully expect nothing more than one of those spurious pats on the back that has become custom these days. Does a single one of you honestly care? I'm much too cynical to believe so...
>>23305122 yeah but a recurring theme I'm seeing is like wanting to talk to people but being unable to. I feel like a group of people who have a similar mindset might be more receptive to each and help each other. Bbuuuttt I just wanted to put the idea out there
agoraphobia and is currently being treated i drink water, i do belly breathing, i play video games (violent ones take out the stress) sometimes music is good, sometimes talking is good. last resort is sleeping
>>23305144 absolutely. by all means try getting a group chat up. i do imagine there are others who would appreciate it and maybe even benefit from such a thing. i was only speaking for myself.
>>23305149 >cats a cat isn't a dog. your cats probably hate you even though you love them. its dysfunctional. true animal companionship isnt the same as human companionship, but its better than sitting in a dark room where the only living things are you and the spider crawling down the wall
>>23305164 I actual like the job. The stress from it gets taken home sometimes though. I keep it away from my family because it's all too technical for them to care about. But it makes me feel alone having to say work was fine today. ...everyday.
>>23305110 I'd join. Let me know, I'll post my skype in here. Also, regarding. I game and I work a LOT. When I do well at work, I feel like I'm doing well for myself, like I'm wanted and actually accomplishing stuff with my life. I also smoke here and there, music also helps me a lot in any situation.
I fell in love on purpose. I met a girl in one of threads here, talked a bit, It clicked very nicely, so we interact a lot online. The distance makes meeting pretty much impossible, but I don`t care much. I know that in terms of a normal relationship it leads nowhere, most probably, but right now I enjoy one of my rare non-depressive states. Feels pretty good to have someone even if it`s virtual, I`m working to make it last as long as it can, and am prepared for the end if it comes to it, though I hope it will last for years.
>depression Exercise is what really helped me here. Cardio always made me miserable, but lifting weights puts me in a good place. Mess always just made me not care that I was depressed, but that's just brushing the issue under a rug.
>social anxiety Yeah, I don't really cope with that. I just keep to myself for the most part, and a very small group of friends. The rest of the world can burn for all I care
>>23293085 i cured my social anxiety partly with shrooms. however i dont recommend doing that to most people. leaving your comfort zone also helps a lot...you just gotta force yourself to do it over and over and not hide everytime a challenge comes up. used to have 0 friends. now i got a whole bunch of them
>>23298270 M/28/us I definitely feel you on the depression/social anxiety thing. I keep moving from place to place, job to job and even though the people I work with or hang out with are always awesome, I keep convincing myself that it's all fake or not what I'm "supposed to do". It always ends with me isolating myself which is never good. I've never been in any sort of romantic relationship because I'm afraid my mental/emotional issues will only get in the way, and the last thing I want is for my own personal shit to hurt someone I care about, though that ends up happening anyways. I feel like I'm always losing my friends, the old and the new. Naturally this just all adds to my abysmally low self esteem. I drink quite a bit as well, just broke into my roommates cooking wine 'cause it was the only alcohol available, it helps in the short term but long term just ends up making me feel worse. It's much easier to give advice than to take it, that being said: hang in there, find those friends and family who really care about you and confide in them. Also you might need help via medicine of therapy. No shame in that, I certainly need it. Though I can't get myself to talk to anyone unless I'm black out drunk so I dunno....you're not alone I guess? Wish I could be more supportive but I'm one bad day from "accidently" stepping in front of a bus myself.
>>23293085 I don´t. I tried seeing a therapist to talk about my problems because I can always trust a therapist rigt? Wrong. I tried to be honest about what had happened to me but she did´nt even want to listen but she wanted my money. Now I just suffer through day after day and hope it will get better and try to go outside as little as possible.
Bullshit advice. I got a dog thinking it would help and I hate his guts. Dogs have too much energy and are too fucking needy. They need someone who can meet their needs, not just meet the needs of their owner. If you don't have the time or energy to invest in a dog, don't get one expecting the animal to fix you and your problems.
>>23306941 im not surprised, and hence why i suggest getting a dog.
exercise is as good for mental health as physical health then theres the purpose in having to care for something provides. a dog is a catalyst for interaction with other people. from my experience with social anxiety most of the trouble is being the one to engage with someone else while its much easier when its the other person who first talks to you.
i never claimed it would magically fix everything, but its not a bad first step
>>23306999 I'm not the same person you were talking to and I've had dogs for most of my life. It just doesn't produce much of a reaction in me, which I disagreed with the advice. My latest dog, whom I'll have had for three years in March, I obtained due to your way of thinking. The dog didn't help at all and now I've a life I'm responsible for and I just want to give him away. He deserves better than me, he deserves someone who can really take care of him.
You also have to consider that not all dogs have the same temperament; you can't just get A dog, you have to have one that suits your needs and personality. I thought I could change with this dog, I thought I would change for this dog but things didn't work out that way.
Dogs are great animals but they're not for everyone.
Even tho I was abused when I was a kid I rarely think of those times, but I'm sure it guided me along this outlook: I distract myself from my emptiness with movies and music and imagining different paths sprouting from the past. It's a prison of self-hatred and stalled being.
Ive suffered with depression since i was a kid so i kind of got used to it.
I still feel like of i were to take meds id feel 100 times better but ive always been afraid to.
My life honestly is pretty okay at the moment and what bugs me is that i feel more depressed than ever.
I shouldnt be. I have a job, an amazing boyfriend and friends. Its annoying how it hits me at the worst time. For the most part id say ignorance helpes me cope. When im ignoring any thought in my head i tend to feel okay...the moment i sit and think then my mind instantly goes negative and i think of the worst things. Im in constant fear of losing my bf whos actually the only person keeping me sane but im scared hes going to really realized how fucked up i am and leave me. I dont see what he sees in me but hes honestly treated me better than any man ive known. I just wish i could be normal for him. He deserves it
31/M/UK with Borderline Personality Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder.
A few facts about me:
>transitioned from male to female, HRT for 20 months, detransitioned at the encouragement of ex-gf at the time >attempted suicide a year later due to working a stressful, underpaid job and working on my book in my spare time - basically broke myself >got on Zoloft afterwards, life improved considerably >gf came out as a lesbian 2 months ago, broke up and still friends/support her with loans through her placement year because she is one of those rare people with a genuinely good heart who deserves help in the same way she helped me. >got rid of narcissistic headcase best friend last year too, better for it even if I have no active social life now
How do I cope? I've started to adopt a view Maslov's hierarchy of needs:
Am I safe/stable? Am I fed? Am I watered? Am I rested? Am I clean/shaven? Am I medicated?
One of the problems with depression is that it makes you feel like nothing you do is worth anything, be it waxing your pits or jumping in front of a runaway train to save a sack of kittens. A way to mitigate that feeling is to equate the difficulty you have doing something simple with the achievement you should feel for doing it. Another way to motivate yourself is to set a goal that is so easy to achieve (i.e. brushing your teeth) that it's banal to consider it a challenge, thus compelling you to do it because what kind of loser can't even brush their teeth, right?
Moving on to some more complex questions:
Am I sober and if not, is this the best time not to be sober? Are there less problematic times or substances to use? (I smoke weed and have a soft stash of valiums and codeine for headaches or sleepless nights) Am I lonely and if so, how badly do I need what I think I need? If this is not the life I want to live, what life DO I want to live? What would I do with my life if money was no object and personal problems were not standing in the way?
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