Assume some shit you motherfucking fucks. I am up for the next

>>23272411
Maxiam? In my thread?

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>>23272403
>>23272403
This thread doubles as a worship thread. Come worship me. Validate me. Make me feel important. Distract me from the emptiness of my own life. Give me a reason to stay up another drunken night.

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>>23272403
Lead singer of System of a Down

>>23272670
since this IS /soc/ the best kinda worship that happens on here is cock worship. Whip it out, crack some booze open n get lost in excuses to get horned up as u drink...that'll make u feel like a distracted king

>>23272776
>Lead singer of System of a Down
Pretty sure it was Creed, or was it Nickelback?

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>>23272403
Takes the metro everyday to his work as a plumber.
>>23272776
Liked eggs as a kid but can't stand them now.

>>23272635
Maxim is everywhere
>>23272745 is maxim

>>23272776
had a happy childhood
>>23272802
Was a badboy in high school

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>>23272802
Drinks at least 4x a week

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>>23272403
Gets head squished by the Mountain defending the midget in Game of Thrones.

>>23272776
Smiles at people when they walk by with tight lips.

>>23272802
Has at least three selfies ready on his phone that make him look the best he can be.

>>23273689
Gives a really awesome high five. Like the kind that hurt your hand but you ain't no bitch so you just suck it up and tell nobody.

>>23272885
>thinking anyone calling him out is automatically maxim

That cope

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>>23273689
drives a fancy sports car
>>23273881
Is considering growing a beard

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>>23272403
Does amphetamines
>>23272776
Knows how to drive a delorean
>>23272802
vapes
>>23273689
Has a good voice
>>23273881
Reads pitchfork

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>>23273911
Nope, I'm more of a herbal guy...that and beer. Though, I'm open to a lot of things.

>>23272670
gay

>>23272776
gay

>>23272802
gay

>>23273689
gay

>>23273881
gay

>>23273911
gay

>>23273891
You are only one that gives a fuck about mundane soc shit Maxim

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>>23274008
Was socially awkward as a teenager but grew up to be more open.

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>>23274462
Actually the opposite. I'm practically agoraphobic now.

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>>23272776
you have a deviantart account and are pretty popular on there

also clearly underage

>>23273881
your mom is religious af, you live in the midwest maybe WI

>>23273911
You dont own any pets

>>23274462
tried really hard in gym in hs especially in basketball, "its just a prank, bro," youve used that a few times too

>>23275206
browse /r9k/, like frozen meals like lean cuisine but have to eat about 3 to get full

>>23275227
/r9k/ is an affront to humanity. I am mildly offended that you'd assume I browse there.

>>23275236
Thats not true senpai its a great board

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>>23275227
higher middle class american. started college
>>23275206
was in the army, now has ptsd
>>23274462
sporty guy. but you miss sth in life
>>23273911
computer science

>>23275450
Has a job with internet, so he spends his downtime here

>>23273900
Already did but I can't keep it because of my job.

You still look like the dude from Game of Thrones to me and it creeps me out for real.

>>23273911
Only sometimes to I read that nonsense. More or less for the news. Not any reviews.

Assumption: You also read Pitchfork

>>23274446
>here's your response

>>23275227
My mom is a strong feminist with no religious preferences and never has had any. HOLY FUCK ARE YOU CLOSE ON THAT SECOND PART THOUGH. Move over one state to the right and you nailed it.

Assumption: You own a bow tie and you really like it.

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>>23275480
Most people say I look like Shia, so that's a welcomed change.

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>>23272403
>>23272670
youre the type of guy who can always fix shit even tho you dont have any formal training or anything, you just automatically know how to solve problems
>>23272776
had a bunny when he was a kid
>>23272802
you're attracted to outgoing girls
>>23273689
makes a decent income but doesnt spend anything on meaningless shit
>>23273881
would wear a "this is what a feminist looks like" shirt if your girlfriend asked you to
>>23273911
never really talked in high school, maybe on wresting team, weird last name
>>23274462
thinks prank call videos are funny

>>23275542
is a vegan

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>>23275542
Sad boyyyss

>>23275486
You are like Shia, Christian Bale, and Wil Wheaton combined. It's the facial hair though that's doing it.

>>23275542
I don't like it when people make me do things so that's a no.

Assumption: Used to be a "random rawr XD" girl but made the transition into a Tumblr girl and is really for the better even though they are the generational equivalent of each other.

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>>23275486
actual.cannibal.shia.lebouf.
>>23275542
#sadgirls2001
You started seeing aesthetic posts on Tumblr and ultimately felt that you had found style that fit you or you're a hypebeast
>>23275450
You are wearing a satisfied smile because you just finished writing volume 3 of your Scooby Doo erotica

>>23275672
nawh
i would be if i had the self control tho
>>23275698
ayyy
>>23275714
im not good at these sorry
and i went through a scene phase in middle school but never been a tumblrina
>>23275722
i dont use tumblr lol
im just a really huge yung lean fan
people dont fuck with you because you can destroy them with your words

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>>23275722
Hmm..

>>23275698
Hmm..

>>23275542
Hmm..

>>23275486
Hmm..

>>23272403
>>23272670

You enjoy fishing.
You're bisexual.
Your ultimate fantasy involves being fucked by a twink.

>>23273689

So adorable.

>>23273689
Has a nice cock

>>23275858
who the fuck are you youre on every thread with 'hmmm'

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>>23275450
gym bro
>>23275486
has killed someone
>>23275542
maybe a bit sad. youre giving sad puppy eyes in your pic.
>>23275698
underage
>>23275722
brazillian? ola bonita

>>23275542
excuse me
where did you get your shirt? it is fucking awesome
<3

>>23276717
amazon c:

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>>23276074
I wouldn't say it is my ultimate fantasy. I don't like boys...as much. Still, I get the feeling you've seen me around here a time or two.

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>>23276622
It's some kind of paranormal troll. These ghosts in the machine type entities infest 4chan pretty regularly. It's only natural that a place of such energy would attract forces not of this world.

>>23276814

> I wouldn't say it is my ultimate fantasy.
But one of them ;^)

>>23276724
into sports and edm
>>23276648
turkish or so