Asked on /adv/ but how many of you are open to a polygamous relationship? How many people? What genders? Would they all love each other or only you? ASL?
As for polyamory..
No they don't need to love each other but they need to be able to be around one another. M and F preferred here too. I think 2, 3 if they're all pretty spectacular is good
I've been in "open relationships" and right now the lady I'm seeing is married to some dude but personally I see polyamory as an excuse and as a means of escape. You don't have to confront your relationship issues or have a legitimate commitment or even admit you're bored of your partner (on top of the more degenerate connotations as sex addiction, fear of loneliness or sociopathy) because you can go have a fling to hide from your problems
Interesting. We're a polyamorous couple looking for a third partner. Contact info is in the picture, if you're interested in chatting, OP.
i used to fool around with a girl who had a fiance, she said he is okay with it, met the guy and it was all cool
also met another girl who is secretly keeping me secret from her husband, but i dont know how to feel about that
Love these threads!
31m/27f/23f, Los Angeles
We're a MFF polyfidelious triad. Living the life, anons. We live together, love together, fuck together, sleep together.
Happy to chat here, on Kik or on Skype - the screenname for both is LaserJesusBeard
Pic related, it's my wife and gf DPing a femanon we met on soc (on a thread like this, actually). Yes, we're in the kink lifestyle too.
do that, or what my fwb used to do was spot the girls that were interested in us since she flies under the radar a bit and get me to pull them and then we'd fuck them
Not a current playmate anymore.
Ooo, difficult. My wife spent a year or so convincing me she wasn't going to be jealous before we started this all, years ago. Was he the shy type before you two met? Is he submissive?
Good. Ignore the guy telling you to "pull" chicks. Point of order, if he was good at it, he wouldn't be asking me to "let him have" our playmate.
Build his confidence. Go out and dress sexy, and be all over him. Try going to munches or other events where there are other women and talk up how incredible he is in front of him. You have to invest the time to get him to dig himself the way you do. Self confidence is self fulfilling, once he starts you'll be good.
You have what I want, except I'm missing the second F to the MFF triad. How did you find the two other people in the dynamic, especially since you're into kink as well? We've been searching for awhile but no luck.
Excuse me if I don't believe that everyone who would put faith in an ideology that enables them to live a hedonistic lifestyle with only the best of intentions. Dunbar's Number suggests that there is a limited number of relationships that an individual can properly maintain at any point in their life and, you know, based on the fact that western society is the interpersonal equivalent of a nuclear wasteland and that divorce rates are rising, it doesn't really seem that human beings are very good at treating other people respectfully. How do you expect someone to maintain a handful of casual sexual relationships while balancing work, social, and home lives with a primary partner without reducing anyone to a sex object? Dating is shitty enough, don't fuck it up by trying to fuck 3 people at once you fucking degenerates
I don't like girls so..no
And I don't like guys who like guys so...no.
I think polyamory is stupid and eventually 2 of the 3 involved will pair off and start dating each other exclusively leaving the third out to dry.
But yeah no. I'm strictly monogamous.
Lol 'pansexuality' kek not a thing
20/f here mostly into chicks
totally into this sort of thing. but, i basically want a bestfriend scenario where i can share lots of parts of my life with this person. basically have a person where we go out, explore, walk, hike, visit interesting shops, craft, paint, listen to records, possibly do drugs, drink tea, just basically chill and have fun with. and, then have the physical contact and possibly sexual stuff as an abstraction or something that blooms from this stuff. It wouldn't be exclusive or anything, I'd actually prefer it if they had another relationship that I wasn't included in. I'm a little schizoid and have less capacity for jealousy than the average person so, it'd work well for me. I think monogamy is a drag and it sucks that it's the norm. I just wanna be physically intimiate with my friends.
I'm a single heterosexual female and yeah, I'm pretty secure in the fact that I wouldn't want to fuck two people at the same time. Just because I disagree with a lifestyle choice doesn't make me any less secure with my sexuality.
I'm building a harem currently, just on skype though. Would any ladies be interested in learning more?
Nah, that's horseshit.
A. You're using Dunbar's Number like Deepak Chopra uses quantum mechanics. One more person in your relationship isn't more than your brain can handle.
B. The divorce rate is not because of polyamory. I'd argue it's the narcissism in Western society that is at the root of it.
C. I'm in a triad. None of us are sex objects.
Bumping with another pic. Because why not?
If you were as secure as you say you are, other people's sexualities wouldn't bother you, and you wouldn't be commenting in this thread.
But keep telling yourself that, while you continue to be jealous of people with better sex lives than you, poly or otherwise.
That's because soc is predominantly full of people with limited social skills and you're putting advanced social skill topics in front of them.
Takes some balance and understanding to make a poly relationship work. Half the people here haven't had a normal relationship, not to mention have enough experience to contribute to this kind of topic.
Also, love the pics.
That can work, but it requires a serious understanding of how people's minds work and the mental acuity to track everything.
Again, not really soc's wheelhouse.
Also, I find people involved in that kind of relationship by force (mental or otherwise) are rarely the most engaged or enthusiastic lovers.
Manipulative fucks don't last long in poly. Communication is key.
Thanks anon! I can see that. Literally EVERY message I get from guys on Kik is about either asking for more pics or asking to fuck my women. That's it.
I'm not surprised.
Where abouts in the world are you?
Then that's not really a poly relationship. I get where you're coming from though.
With my tendencies and interests, I rather need some interest. That having been said, each to their own.
I hear you can get things to help with that..
I'm in an open polyamorous relationship. I have three partners, though they're all dating me separately, not dating each other. They don't really even know one another. They all have other partners of their own, and we're all free to date and sleep with other people, as long as we keep each other informed.
I've been in an open relationship for four years now and polyamorous for three, and it's worked out great. We've had difficulties at times, especially early on, but we managed to work through them. It's all about honesty and open communication: traits that are important in any relationship but absolutely essential to poly. And being poly has actually helped me to become more open and honest with my partners than I was when I was monogamous, since it's more obviously a necessity.
If you're in LA and interested in foursomes, that can be arranged (if we all dig you, of course).
Sunny Los Angeles!
I've met plenty. Strangely enough, they're all invariably lonely.
You are taking this mighty personal man, im just telling you what i think would work from personal experience, women need your approval, its why they dress all nice, its part of their evolutionary psychology, if you dont like this thats another thing entirely, its certainly amoral, but see i dont give a fuck, where you do
depends, its because at the moment the top 90% of women are going for the top 10% of men because they've been given unachievable standards from daddy that they're constantly trying to live up to
No, it isn't part of their evolutionary psychology. The exact opposite, actually - women are the selectors in humans, as in most mammals. That's even theorized as the explanation for the shape of the human penis.
As for your daddy post, Jesus man. Folks thinking like you is a fair part of why I have so much luck.
Actually, mankind is more or less dual selection, otherwise you wouldent care if you fucked a fat chick or an 80 year old, men are visual, women are emotional, emotions are easy to manipulate and are tied to psychology, and in this current day and age, women have been given the easy road with respect to mate pickings, due to their female privilege, kekkle, so basically the TLDR is, if you think you being turned down feels bad, you have no idea
Most men don't. And I laughed at female privilege. Good to know both sides of this privilege argument rely on stupid third party anecdotes.
You do you, buddy. I'll stick to my communication and respect. It's done me wonders.
the passive aggression is too much
-Data node has stopped responding-
A, no but if you are looking for that third person you do apply the new people you meet to the criteria you are looking for and that does reduce them to object status, which is still what I was getting at.
B, It's good you realize that narcissism is a problem in monogamous marriages but what makes you think it doesn't apply or effect polyamorous relatiotionships?
C, it's bad form to discard my arguments as anecdotal evidance and then present your own
If you are forming additional sexual relationships because the benefits of one are not enough of you, yeah that's problematic hedonism. It could be argued that not all monogamous relationships are hedonistic in nature but likely all polyamorous relationships are.
I mean I've not been in a poly relationship but I feel like jealousy would get the better of me? If it were going to happen we'd both need to be fucking the person and be in love with that person (as in a proper 3 way thing as opposed to my gf going off to fuck other dudes)
All of you are pretty interestings guys and girls, it's nice to see differents opinions about polyamory and relationship.
I have one question : how can you really "love" someone the same and with the same intensity as the other one in a relationship like this ? Especially if it's an open one.
Does it not feel like a fwb+ ?
How can you be sure that's love and not just affection + sex ?
>I'm in a polyamorous relationship with 3 people
>who have their own partners
sounds like you don't actually have your own relationship and you're just an extra in other people's to be honest family
>tfw you tell a girl it isn't working out because you don't want to be involved with someone who parties so much and she text and snapchats you like every day and invites you over for wine and chill once a month all summer
don't act like women aren't as needy and desperate as guys because you've got to impress more than one at a time
my new years relationship is to date someone who is actually single and develop a real relationship because this is fun but it's just that, fun, and I didn't need this polyamory fad to come around and try to redefine what it is to date a couple of people at once because I'm not in a committed relationship
>Two boys and two girls
>Between the ages of 15-20
>They cannot have sex with each other, unless I say otherwise
>They're madly in love with me to the point of insanity
>The boys are superior to the girls
Women don't need your approval. "Evolutionary psychology" also says we should find women with unibrows attractive, because that's whats natural. In reality it can be argued that the kind of virgins like you who read pickup artist guides and think about girls 24/7 are the ones desperate of approval from women.
My own relationship? Sorry I'm not insecure enough to need someone all to myself, but it wouldn't be fair for me to have multiple partners if no one else I was dating could.
And for what it's worth, I do have a primary partner i.e. we're each other's primaries. But even if I didn't, I still wouldn't feel that was something I needed to be happy.
Don't listen to that jackass. He came into a poly thread solely to shit all over the concept of polyamory, he's basically just a troll. Also he admitted in his first post that he's basically cheating with some guy's wife so it's hilarious that he thinks he has any sort of moral high ground here.
That said, polyamory isn't for everyone. If you have difficulty being open and communicative with people, or if you're inclined toward jealousy, it's definitely not for you. Although wanting to be the most important person to your partner doesn't automatically mean poly can't work for you, it just means you need to make it clear from the start that you're your partner's primary.
A. You ALWAYS "apply the new people you meet to the criteria you are looking for." People don't just randomly date whatever they find as a primary or first relationship. That doesn't reduce people to object status in the least.
B. Polyamorous relationships do not have the status quo giving them inertia when they are otherwise stagnant. Society encourages binary relationships in every possible way, from joint tax filing to the width of sidewalks. If you aren't actively working to solve problems and communicate in poly, things fall apart immediately.
C. It's contradicting evidence. Yours was a generalization, not anecdotal evidence.
Because society has taught you that binary relationships are natural, despite evidence to the contrary.
Example: are you unable to love two parents? Two siblings? Two friends? We have no problem having relationships with multiple people and not being jealous, but for sexual ones.
I'm with you there.
I've never understood jealousy and possessiveness. It's just not something I've felt.
I've worried about people thinking less of me or leaving me, but if people leave me, they leave me. I can't force someone's someone's hand and I don't believe that having other people in their lives is going to make it a "risk".
I don't understand why people have such a hard time grasping open polyamory. Do they not have friends who don't know each other? Don't their friends have other friends who you are not friends with?
It's just the same concept with more intimacy involved.
I have been with my current girlfriend for 2 and a half years. I'd love to be able to have maybe one or two more females in the relationship since my girlfriend is bisexual. I'd love for it to just be the four of us, living in one home. As for if I'd want them to only love me, or love each other, I feel like I'd want them to live each other as much as they love me. Just from a standpoint where I think it would help everyone get along. But sadly. my grill isn't open to that.
Was it hard to find the third partner? Or was it just luck?
None of my parthers were open enough not only to discuss poly, but to discuss basically anything related to bedroom and feelings. Communication could be used only for demands, never for expressing needs, and eventually everything was falling apart. FML.
I envy you, anons. All the best!
I'm poly. Kind of in a weird float around at the moment; I'm generally a relationship anarchist kind of person though. *Shrug*
As for your questions:
- I don't really care number of people, long as it doesn't overload me. I hit cap at five or six before, and then it just became scheduling hell. Currently I have one fairly fixed partner, and about 3-4 casual folk.
- I'm straight, so my partners are always female. I do not care if my partners date dudes though. My 'normal' partner is living with her boyfriend of seven years.
- Depends on dynamics. My partners have relatively limited cross over, but the ones that are particularly close to me I really like to have them get along because they tend to be the ones I bring out to social gatherings.
There's a difference between open relationships and polyamory. Polyamory is specifically referring to multiple *relationships*, while open relationships are just .. Sex. You're not forming actual relationships with other partners outside of your main partner.
Can people use polyamory as an excuse and means of escape? Yeah, but that's a human trait - people use relationships in general as an excuse and means of escape. Polyamory, on average, tends to report happier relationships because communication skills need to be oh so much more finely honed.
*Nod* A lot of these threads tend to make me wince because they tend to be unicorn hunting; all the unicorn hunting.
Personally, I run in a lot of kink/alt/sex positive circles, am crazy flirty, and am just super bloody open about such things. You would be surprised the people that start popping out of the wood work - lot of folk are open to it if you make them feel like it's a safe place for them to try expressing it. Dating sites can work okay, but a bit more work.
Generally once you're in the community / have those kind of contacts its easier, because they will have their own circles of poly friendly folk that you can meet.
As I said in another post (which I just made, so hey), poly relationships are reported as happier on average than mono. Not because it's a superior life style or anything, just high amounts of communication required - and communication is number one indicator of relational happiness.
I'll skip the Dunbar's Number business because as another anon addressed, you're abusing it.
Western society isn't an 'interpersonal equivalent of a nuclear wasteland', dating isn't shitty. These are your issues, not the worlds. Work on them. Divorce rates are rising for unrelated reasons.
Polyamory can be super hedonistic, or not. Monogamy can be super hedonistic, or not. If your other RELATIONSHIPS (again, polyamory isn't an open relationship, they are both types of non monogamy) is affecting your primary partner (assuming you're talking about hierarchical polyamory, since poly isn't innately based on a hierarchy), it's up to YOU AND YOUR PARTNER to talk about the situation. Which people do.
Case in point example? My normal partner has a boyfriend that she's living with, and has been with for last seven years. I don't normally get involved with hierarchical polyamory, but hey, I've apparently been bouncing around that lately. She's cancelled plans on me because he needs some attention / they need a couples night. I encourage this. I give them date ideas. This doesn't fuck with work, social, home lives, or primary partner relationships for any of us.
You do realize you could date guys who date other girls, right? If that bothers you, that's totally fine, you're not poly, but it's kind of ridiculous to argue that it's just going to fall out a certain way. That's also assuming there's three people involved in any situation - poly isn't limited to triad relationships.
Good luck with that buddy.
As a psych student, there's a huge fucking difference between (Big E) Evolutionary Psychology, the legitimate study, and (little e) evolutionary psychology, the bullshit that tends to be waved around by the media / PUA / red pill bullshit. That's not how it fucking works.
People are social creatures. People want approval. That's not anything new. Don't make it sound like women are less 'real people' than dudes are. Seriously, the vast majority of this comment could be said about both genders - what, you think dudes aren't all chasing the hottest women? You think there isn't entire industries built around telling dudes how to get the approval of women?
Dudes are emotional as fuck too. We just aren't encouraged to acknowledge it, and instead try to deny and suppress the fuck out of it outside of the 'approved' emotional outlets. EVERYONE is emotional, its a human trait.
I have an issue with unicorn hunting, personally, because people tend to downplay the idea of how fucking difficult it is to form that many relationships all at once ... But outside of that, what the fuck?
Dude. People are ALWAYS applying criteria to new people. Where the fuck are you that people have absolutely zero criteria to people? This isn't a dehumanizing thing, you can meet people and go "Hey, you're awesome, but I'm not interested in pursuing a romantic/sexual/relationship with you for whatever reason, lets be friends!"
I mean, fuck, one of the basic criteria is going to be "they are polyamorous", and it's not like poly folk think mono people are 'objects'.
As for the last line: What? Why do you think people form poly relationships? Purely to fuck?
Do you love your parents equally? If you're not an only child, do your parents love you and your siblings equally? If you have pets, do you love your pets equally? There's not a finite pool of love that you draw from - and people who feel that way are super bloody unlikely to end up in poly situations.
In situations where you "love" a person more than another, it tends to be hierarchical poly situations - where you have a primary partner that you are more invested into than your secondaries. Not all polyamory is hierarchical, but hierarchical poly tends to be rather common.
Also, 'comparisons are the death of joy'. If you're entering a new situation, like the fellow who said he's dating a married person, yeah, no shit they will love the other person more - they have a life built with the person while you're new to the situation. Just because they love the other person more does NOT preclude the two of you building a relationship and developing love from that. For all you know, the love could end up being equivalent. Or it won't be. It doesn't really matter.
You're coming across as more than just a bit of an ass, you know? If you're not poly, that's totally fine dude - you don't have to be. Poly isn't superior to mono, nor is mono superior to poly. They are just different relationship arrangements. The fact that they aren't poly doesn't mean that their relationships are invalidated; a partnership isn't more intense or valuable just because there's only the two of you.
Both genders can be needy and desperate. It's a human trait.
Are you even in a poly situation or an open relationship situation? Because these are quite different. Polyamory isn't really a 'fad', it's been around awhile and there's no reason to think it's just going to poof off.
You can be committed and date multiple people, or you can be uncommitted and date multiple people. Neither of these are negative things, as long as communication about what is happening is going on.
...How old are you? That age range is rather concerning.
Communicate with your partner. Don't be a shitty person and cheat. If you cannot handle this, be an adult and end the relationship instead of running around behind their backs. It sucks, but if the relationship isn't for you, it's not for you.
Haha, thanks anon. Yeah, it was wild - we opened that anon's eyes, so to speak.
We've had a lot of dates and girlfriends over the years that didn't work out. Sometimes the chemistry isn't there, just like any other relationship. But communication is important and I enforce the fuck out of it in our house.
As for unicorn hunting, the problem is that it tends to just be for sex. Then people wonder why it isn't that successful.
Bumping, because I really like the thread this time, and other than the red pill guy and a couple other negatives, it's great conversation
Not being jealous isn't a schizoid thing, anon. And casual sex friends isn't polyamory per se, but it IS very fun when you guys are open and communicative. We have occasional orgies or just group play with most of our friends!
I don`t like having sex with someone whom I don`t know at least a bit and whom I don`t like on a psychological level. I`m curious how do you start communicating in places other than this? You know, like there`s this cute girl, there seems to be chemistry, but how to play it in a normal, everyday environment?
>cheating with some guy's wife
hey idiot, don't you think that's a little presumptuous? I have no commitments and her extramarital relations are sanctioned by her partner, nobody's "cheating" here.
>A. People don't just randomly date whatever they find as a primary or first relationship. That doesn't reduce people to object status in the least.
Oh, so you don't think that just dating someone for the netflix and chill isn't just being sexually opportunistic? If you're just dating out of boredom or to fulfill a sexual need, that's just using someone's company as an outlet.
>B. that doesn't answer my question at all. Do you, or do you not believe that narcissism does not effect someone's desire to maintain polyamorous relationships?
>C. contradicting evidence
There are no social sciences that do not have contradictory evidence
So the difference between polyamory and open relationships is that you hang out with someone outside of sex, and make a few grandiose statements about your relationship.
>Polyamory, on average, tends to report happier relationships because communication skills need to be oh so much more finely honed.
Wow, really? That sounds so very noble, where do I sign the fuck up? I, too, wish to live promiscuously and make self-congratulatory statements online to justify my lifestyle.
>Western society isn't an 'interpersonal equivalent of a nuclear wasteland', dating isn't shitty. These are your issues, not the worlds. Work on them. Divorce rates are rising for unrelated reasons.
You're in the one place where discovering that all people, normie or not, are horrid little shits and it's as easy as reading any thread.
>and it's not like poly folk think mono people are 'objects'
If that's what you're taking away from this you're way off, try again. Why do people form any relationship? Obviously you and your partners don't share the same bank account or intend to raise a family together and you're probably relatively young too so the end goals of your relationship(s) are kind of limited.
I'm not going to type things out twice for you
No, difference between polyamory and open relationships is polyamory is specifically focused on *multiple relationships*. An open relationship is going "This is my only relationship, and outside of this I have exclusively sexual partners". If you want to think that the entire basis of a relationship is "you just hang out a few times outside of sex", you're welcome to, but that's a pretty fucking limited view.
If you're dealing with someone who's in an open relationship, which it sounds like you are, you cannot really comment on polyamory *because you're not in a polyamorous relationship*.
As for the 'self congratulatory statements" you can read it however you want - I am drawing from the actual studies done on relationships. Polyamorous relationships are reported as being happier than monogamous relationships, on average. This isn't really a "self congratulatory" thing when I explicitly pointed out it's specifically a communication thing. Polyamory isn't superior to monogamy, nor will it make you happier if you're not a poly person - it's simply a different relationship model that tends to demand a lot of communication. Communication, again, is the backbone of a healthy relationship.
You can be promiscuous with monogamy or with polyamory.
>>You're in the one place where discovering that all people, normie or not, are horrid little shits and it's as easy as reading any thread.
There is a reason I never post any contact information or identifying details anywhere in /soc/. This place isn't even remotely representative of the population.
Trying to figure out what exactly your big point with this is. I don't have any particular desire to share a bank account with anyone, and sharing a bank account with someone doesn't make your relationship inherently more 'real'. It's a standard thing when people are raising a family, but I have absolutely no intention to raise a family. I'm not forming partnerships with the idea of having children, and I've never formed partnerships with that in mind.
Like someone else said, you communicate same as in any other situation.
Well, first, no, I don't - if the relationship both of you want is strictly physical, then power to you. Opportunistic is taking advantage of someone. Second, you're switching variables here: poly isn't Netflix and chill.
And that might be true, but again - you didn't give evidence. You just made a generalization. I gave my own example as contradicting evidence.
What's your point here? And again, stupid generalizations. My wife, girlfriend, and I share bank accounts, are planning on having kids, even working on buying a house. At what point are you going to stop talking out of yorur ass here, pardon the French?
Where do I even go to find people who are into the idea? Preferable to be with 2 other females, I would be willing to go anywhere to find like minded people.
I am white and have pretty decent genetics if that helps.
Hmm that just sounds like what guys want as well. Maybe this grils are not properly into girls and just want to be cool, who knows. I hope you find a couple to have nice times with tho.
>Hmm that just sounds like what guys want as well
Ha ha, I guess it does, but I'm just a simple soul who pines for simple pleasures.
>I hope you find a couple to have nice times with tho.
Thanks, hope you find whatever you're looking for as well
I know it's a fantasy that would never happen for me, but I'd love to be in a loving polygynous relationship with 2 or more sweet, nurturing, and dominant big-titted chubby girls, but I'd be perfectly happy with just 1.
To be able to go to sleep every night cuddled between to soft, squishy girls would be amazing.
So... You aren't polyamorous so much as dommechubbybigtitamorous. Good to know.
Ahh, if you were in LA, we'd be happy to chat and meet up. I don't know the community in FL, can't give you but general advice.
Not really, because that would still permit other 30 year olds to be in his range. Hence no gap.
I'll make this easier. You're probably never going to get your fantasy fulfilled. Good luck with it though.
I've been in a poly relationship once, but I always give my partner the option. I don't have any desire to date multiple people at a time, but I don't think that should stop my partner from doing so if it's something they are into. As long as they are capable of balancing the relationships, I'm fine with it. A person loving someone else doesn't mean they love me less.
I haven't been in 1, but i'd be fine with it. I don't think its necessary for all involved to love each other.
I'd date multiple women if I found others I liked. and would be fine with girlfriend/s dating multile guys.
It's never really been an issue for me, sorry.
The easiest way for me to describe my thought process about it is that there are always going to be people who would hurt you in relationships, no matter what. Those people are generally bad people, and regardless of the parameters set on your relationship, they're still bad people. If someone was going to cheat or not give you the care and respect you need in a relationship, they'd probably do that whether you were poly or mono.
Ultimately, I kind of look at it this way: if I believed my partner was the type of person who would ignore or leave me for someone else the minute they got the chance to, they're not the type of person I should be dating in the first place.
(Also I know that a lot of the time when people are jealous, it comes from being hurt in past relationships, and if that's the case for you, please note I'm not trying to dismiss anything that may have happened. I'll admit I've been very blessed in the regard that I've only really had one bad dating partner, and that was nipped in the bud before anything serious happened.)
I'd love to have the amount of trust you have with your partners! I've been hurt in the past so I think it makes it a lot harder to truly have that amount of trust with someone to be able to let them have love another person. I think it also comes down to me being insecure about myself and needing confirmation from other people that I'm worth something.
The good news is that if you continue to enter positive relationships, the good will outweigh the bad eventually. I know it's cliche to say that time heals all wounds, but things definitely get less painful the farther away you are from them.
In regards to your insecurities, are there any in particular or is it just a general thing?
I feel the way I look an act is just really unattractive but I think its a deep seeded issue that I need to work through. I haven been trying to get out there a little more and find someone but its always a difficult thing when you don't come across as confident. Thanks for the words of encouragement though!
We've been looking for a polyamorous relationship for a while. Had one girl with us and life was perfect, but circumstances forced her to move away. We as a couple still love her but things can't be the same, and our relationship has had s hole in it ever since...
The thing with this kind of thing that tends to irritate the fuck out of poly people is that this isn't being poly, this is just fetishization.
There's tons of women that are okay with being in a triad with another woman. Polyamory allows both you and your partner to form other relationships. If you have issues with your partner dating other people but you want to, chances you seriously need to work on things.
Kudos for you, actually.
I am tempted to say go read some of the literature on jealousy. "Opening Up: A Guide to Non-monogamous Relationships" is pretty popular, and useful even for the folk who aren't in them because its basically a book focused entirely on communication.
There's nothing wrong with jealousy - jealousy is an emotion like any other, and emotions are fine. What is important is what actions you take from that jealousy. There's a huge difference between going "Hey partner, I'm feeling a little bit jealous and need some emotional reassurance" versus lashing out at the partner.
Poly folk still get jealous (naturally, there's always going to be exceptions), but we tend to have a tool kit when it comes to identifying that feeling / narrowing down why its happening / communicating it and assuaging it.
Not from what you were posting. "I'd like two women of x type but I'd be perfectly happy with one" would get you nowhere in the poly community. Would get you shunned very fast, actually.
I don't actually know many people who want polyfidelity in the first place, so I cannot really argue it. I personally wouldn't want that arrangement myself either.
I will have to agree with >>23254011 - in the terms that you were describing the arrangement, you would be (to most folk) written off as a mono dude that has a fetish.
Which is completely fine and there's nothing wrong with that - just it's not polyamory.
And to you as well, it's always good to see other poly folk, though bloody far away that you are haha
Its a to each their own thing. I have nothing against it, but it doesn't appeal to me in the slightest bit. Like I said earlier in the thread, I'm more of a relationship anarchist - and I like being able to pursue whoever interests me whenever they interest me.
Of natural result, i don't know people who are polyfidelious.
Polyamory is for the weak spirited and self-deluded. It doesn't matter how good your communication skills are, you are wasting exponential amounts of time having your cock and ego stroked.
Netflix and chill isn't a lifestyle, it's an activity you knob
your lifestyle choices with your wife and mistress are not representative of polyamory practitioners as a whole, it is irrelevant. The point is, you feel the need for multiple sexual or romantic because on some level, you're an insecure baby with a sex addiction, but more of an insecure baby than me because I don't seek reasons to justify my behaviour. I can recognize when I have a problem because I am not a faggot.