I'm stretching a mentally unstable girl to her ends, but I can't help it. I want her, but so does some other guy. I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to an hero or anything like that, because she talks about it. I feel like I can at least keep her afloat. Maybe the other guy can, too. This is all so selfish. Such drama. kill me
An old friend has just let me into their house. They opened their door, and I moved more than 600 miles to come live with them. They are feeding me, and giving me a room and even gave me a bed and bought be a shelving system so that I didn't need to bring much of anything but my clothing and my computer with me while I moved.
Trouble is... I can't stand it here. I'm going insane. She's incredibly disorganized and is constantly yelling at her boyfriend and berating him, and I'm getting flashbacks from my recently ended marriage and it's fucking me up. I appreciate that she let me move in, it's an incredibly nice gesture, but I hate it here. I hate living with people. It's loud, and there's people around, and they're trying to make me feel welcome by being incredibly inclusive and welcoming and I'm going fucking insane living here.
I've only lived here for about two weeks, I'm still looking for a job right now but I'm almost literally dying for a chance to move the fuck out again and have my own place once more. I never realized it, but I really belong in a Shut-In Thread.
Sometimes, it gets so bad that a few days ago, it was really late at night and I couldn't sleep and I fucking snapped, I just spent the better part of an hour trying, and failing, not to cry... I feel, especially when she gets on a tear, that I'm about to explode. That I can't handle it and that I'd rather live out of my fucking car than live here anymore.
Got a line on a job in New Mexico. I'd seriously sacrifice a herd of goats, or a number of small animals to get this job. Even if it requires me to move ANOTHER 1200ish miles west.
Fetish? I've never had an illegal drug in my life and I'm in my 40s. I some times fantasize about a girl forcing me to do drugs for the first time and she fuck me rough. Or she be into witchcraft and drug and fuck me.
>>23227220 Despite all the stories you hear about how amazing sex on drugs is, a lot of drugs actually make it harder to perform sexually.
When I used to take pills my dick would shrivel up like a little boy's and it was virtually impossible to get a proper erection, even if you became incredibly horny. I believe this is known as "pilly willy"...
I'm only with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years because it's sex to come back to after working away all week I'm somewhat attractive and could easily do better but i don't, i just cant break up with her
>>23226994 Pretty asshole-ish. Resorting to physical violence is barbaric.
>>23227090 Best bet is to move to a place where the cost of living is cheap. >bay area, CA >studio is $1500 at the cheapest >one bedroom, with shared bathroom, ~$1000 I have more sympathy for you, I think you're really trying as opposed to the people I've met who so goddamn miserable with where they live but refuse to move.
>>23227233 They know about it though, right? I mean, will you get in trouble for trying to hide it?
>>23227207 >>23227213 I thought it said no judging but you guys are right anyway. Sometimes I wish we never met so he could have gotten much better girl, as this is not the first time something like this has happened and I cheated on my ex too.
Yeah, I know. It's fucking hell to be like that. I was in that situation, but it wasn't a refusal to move. I was miserable as fuck, but I would not do it until I graduated. Now that I'm out of school and have my paper coming I'm chasing that dream. It's only an Associate's Degree, but I've got a lot of practical experience because of the way the program was designed.
I moved from North Carolina. It had a decent cost of living, but the area I was in had absolutely fucking zero employment opportunities. Too many colleges in too small of an area.
Tennessee isn't bad, there seems to be a decent amount of job choice, but I need to land one before I can live alone again. Which is one of the reasons why I'm really hoping that this will work out with New Mexico. Cost of Living is decent, it's hot as fuck (ugh), but the job is, quite literally, exactly what I went to college for.
>>23227308 I know but she was complaining because her boyfriend wanted to take her out on a date.... SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT HAVING A DATE. It wasn't a hard slap more of a tsh, thing. Just tapped her cheeked and pushed through.
>>23226865 >etc. I'm such a selfish fuck, I fucking hate my personality. I make a female friend and I plan to keep her as just a friend. But always, ALWAYS, I end up getting too attached, and I end up getting too selfish. I fuck with her emotions, I talk to other girls but just so I can see she still cares. I want to se her jealous when I look or talk to another girl, then I just go back to her and comfort her and reassure her she's the only friend I need. I'm such a piece of shit and I can't help it, I wish I could die, the world would be better off without me dragging girls down to depression.
Then when she says she doesn't care I just can't handle it and ignore her. I'll ignore her for months and she won't even send me a message asking why, all i want is for her to send me a message and acknowledge that I've ben ignorin her so I can stat talking to her and tell her lies, lies about how I've been busy and not to worry because I'd never ignore her for no reason. But it's all lies. I'm such a messed up person I don't know what to do, I cause my own misery and create misery for others.
I cheated on a girl in high school with anoher girl. They were both Freshman and I was a Senior.
The girl that I cheated on was the sister of the girl I loved ever since 7th grade. I thought dating her sister would be just as good as dating the real girl I loved but it wasn't the case. They looked similar sure, but from the nose up. Every time she stood ther ein forn of me I only looked at her eyes because they were so similar to her sister, I hugged her pretending she was the real girl I loved. I just used her as a proxy.
Then later on I met the other girl who I cheated with, she was skinny and had braces, we only talked abit in class but eventually I hung out with her a bit. We kissed and it felt amazing, it felt like real love, not proxy love. But she only wanted me for a cheap fuck, and I was already cheating on the other girl by being with this one. I never actually had sex with the girl with braces, but I ended up sleeping at her place, literally just sleeping on her bed. I was told to get out before her parents woke up. I got home and the girl I cheated on was in tears because she saw my car parked all night at the braces girl's place. I trid to tell her we didn't do anything, but I also didn't love her as much as I thought.
In one single Summer, I ruined a girl's view on boys, I destroyed a girls reputation since everybody found out I slept with her over night. I also destroyed any chance I had at dating the girl I loved since 7th grade.
I'm 23 now and I don't know what I'll do. Hopefully I'll die in a accident soon.
>>23226865 Every decent looking women that I come across, I picture them as one of those people who are narcissistic, selfish, high maintence prententious folk addicted to social media and probably have tenthousands of followers posting all kinds of attentioncraving things. And males too.
>>23228161 High school was a mess of hormones and freshman girls who liked older guys. I just got caught up in all that. I don't know, I liked both girls, but the one with braces just felt right, the problem was she didn't see me the same.
The other girl was just my own selfish self trying to get as close to the real girl I loved. It's stupid, just something I hate myself for.
24, haven't left the house other than work and groceries/errands in almost 2 years. No friends, I don't have to tell you I've never kissed a girl. I live alone.
I'm trying to get my life together, because I'm miserable. I come home from my shitty job and switch between porn and complaining about my life on here - no wonder I'm miserable obviously if that's literally all I do.
I went to a bar this past weekend, thinking "meh I'll be out of the house and maybe booze will loosen me up".
Bartender was pretty cute and when she asked what I wanted I literally turned bright red and stuttered. I'm THAT afraid of girls. At 12 it's cute, at 24 it's fucking creepy I know. I feel like it's not even worth trying if I'm this bad, better to just wait for the solitude to kill me
17. I dont have social anxiety, but i find it really hard to talk to people i dont know, and even people i do. its not like im scared to talk to them, but like i literally cant think of anything to say. People could tell me about their entire day, and all i would do is nod and not say a word because i dont know what to say. Really dont see myself losing my virginity until my late 20s, and im always horny. And for some reason i can picture myself going to jail in the future because of child pornography
>>23227433 Got a parking ticket on my first day at my old job, but I paid it anyways 'cause I thought they'd fire me. I had some tickets before though, mostly parking.
>>23227528 >only an Associate's Degree Don't say it like that, a degree is a thing to be proud of. One of my friends told me that, either North or South, Dakota was having a job market boom. Dunno if it's still like that, but hey no heat.
>>23227724 Then I guess that's okay. Maybe next time just ask her not to talk about that kind of stuff.
>>23227957 You don't really like your gf, you like the security of being in a relationship.
>>23228043 Become a butcher, a surgeon, or do some sports.
>>23228171 Sometimes I choose to be alone, sometimes I don't, but I've really come to enjoy the time I have to myself. It lets you focus on hobbies, develop a deeper understanding of yourself. I'm sorry you're miserable, but I think everyone faces isolation at one point in their life and sometimes maybe it's better to embrace it.
>>23228218 Talking about this reminded me of me being kicked off my first school because they thought I was a terrorist. Good times. Especially after the psychiatrist didn't find anything wrong with me.
Thanks anon. I know, I was thinking about the Dakotas but a lot of that is in construction and the oil industry.
It's not meant as "Just an Associates", kind of diminishing the effort. Just that a lot of jobs want at least a BS, or MS plus several years experience. I've been finding a lot of places in the mid west though, the square states are pretty big on hiring for tech right now, and so is the middle part of the east coast.
I'm determined, no matter what, to get into the IT world. Like I said, I'll kill a small animal to get in.
>rant incoming But aside from that,before I came to this thread I saw some fucked up fetish where girls are fucking their dogs apparently and that grossed me out. Like wtf not cool. I mean seriously there are guys who'd litterally dick you down halfway to Sunday sun up sun down cuz girls won't give them a chance and girls wanna fuck dogs of all thing like wtf why?! Made me wanna throw up.
Like 50% of my family have this. I hate them. They're "charming" at first and you love them and then they become narcissistic and do hot/cold things. Basically shit that you said. Most of them don't think anything is actually wrong with them, although. Get psych evaled, anon. Can't put up with shit like this anymore.
I mean Im sure everybody else gets this but I really feel like my girlfriend and I dont fuck enough, and I know its an emotional thing on her part, and of course Ill never cheat on her, but I hate that my mind wanders
>>23228238 Make some hints like," I'm going to the gym, come join me, it'll be fun", do it in a subtle manner; slowly alter both your lifestyles, within a few years if it all goes smooth she'll be slimmer, you'll be in better shape and she'll be none the wiser
I sometimes delude myself into thinking I'm into somewhat mentally unstable women. I don't mean psychopathic or extremely damaged and dangerous (no history of drugs, abuse, and etc) but just somewhat insane, anxious, depressed, and erratic. I think this is based off of my ex (she probably fell into this category).
I'm not sure if I feel like it's like attracts like. I'm not violent or sadistic but I just feel crazy and have anxiety and depression issues, my family bloodline is also full of severe mental illness. Sometimes when I hear females admit/confess they feel mental or are, I find myself strangely attracted to that honesty and insight.
I'm sure this would change if I was faced with an extreme case of insanity, because I too operate under a particular threshold.
I have a fettish for sleeping. I want to fuck women in their sleep and idk why, not like a rape thing, i'd ask first but i never have. 24 and never asked any of my gfs about this because even i think its too weird
I follow traps and artists on tumblr, twitch, and picato which always ends up with me fantasizing about meeting them and being best buds until I realize that it will either never happen or I just end up being the socially shy dumbass I always will be
I was molested often for a period of my childhood and taken advantage of by my first girlfriend. Mt parents are alcoholics and with these two things combined I have trust issues and am almost physically retarded as far as easing into a sexual relationship because I'm afraid of doing something similar to them. Ironically im a dom.
That being said im also a bit ashamed of having a thing for shotacon; it's alluring to imagine imagine a gentle first time for me and my heads often clash when when I look att the stuff
>>23227724 You sound like an actual toddler by justifying yourself. What you did was not a good thing to do character wise and to do yourself good you should feel some humility about it so that you know not to do something like that again.
I am extremely turned on by the thought of casual sex with attractive strangers, both male and female as long as I find them arousing. So far I've met several from Craigslist, strip clubs, and adult book stores with the little booths in the back. I've had casual sex with more people than I am proud to admit, and even contracted HPV (though it's dormant now). My wife doesn't know. No one does as far as I know.
And I once got a girl drunk as hell and sliced her up with a pocket knife. I imagine she still carries the scars. I wish I hadn't done it though.
>>23226865 My first love was a girl I met over WoW and talked to for about three years, middle school into high school. We had a Ldr across the country, but I had told her I couldn't because we needed real people.
One day she said she'll be back on after dinner, and never came back. That was maybe 3/4 years ago. I've dated since then, even had a year and a half long relationship but she was always in my mind.
This person I've never met in person who was my best friend for three years of my young life is still in my head freshman year of college. I just can't get her out, I just want to talk to her again and meet her.
Oh, and I have a clothed fetish. Love clothed sex.
i feel like i've been so sexually repressed throughout my life (never been kissed, had a girlfriend, had sex, etc) that i've spent multiple hours a day to find a hookup over craigslist/random hookup websites. needless to say i never met up with anyone and i think im just done with being sexual in general. i was jerking off to traps, feet, blowjobs, bisexual stuff and have ended up so disgusted in myself with such a distorted image of sexuality that I just don't want it to be a part of my life anymore. starting february i want to stop all of this disgusting, greasy shit and live the rest of my life without sexuality. i never want a boner again, i dont want a girlfriend, i dont want my body to be used in any sexual way, etc. i've literally been watching porn and telling myself about how ashamed i am that i find it enjoyable, how it's something i will never need to experience in my life, how no other human being on this planet has ever wanted me to be their sexual partner and so forth.
Failed out of college a year ago and haven't told anyone in my family yet. I had a massive breakdown, spent a crazy two weeks missing classes and relapsing back into heroin addiction in a whole other State. By the time I got my shit together my school had told me to get fucked.
Once, with an ex, I called him up for some phone sex. I pretended I was masturbating, but really another man was eating me out. my ex masturbated over the phone thinking I was masturbating too, when in reality another man was fucking me. I sent him a picture of my pussy afterwards, too. Something about the idea of him getting turned on by my pussy that had just been pounded by another man got me going again, so after I hung up I fucked the other man again.
Im actually kind of peeved my girlfriend wont let me sleep with this guy without her but i can if shes involved. Hes just not completely comfortable with her being trans and i kinda feel bad for being that greedy
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