None of the other boards are very helpful so I thought I'd ask here. How do I talk to people? Like not just women but people in general. I kinda lost all my friends over summer and my ex is one of like three people I still talk to but I really want to start meeting new people. There are a few qt af girls in my classes this semester and I wanna talk to them more than anyone but I have social anxiety and feel really fucking weird starting conversations with anyone.
Thanks for any help, I could really use some advice rn
But like how do I even start a conversation? I've become kinda socially retarded and my ex really fucked with my confidence so I always think anything and everything I say is gonna sound weird or creepy
I dunno how helpful I'll be but honestly, if it's the morning with someone I ask how they slept and such. If it's the middle of the day I'll start with how's your day going, or has anything interesting happened today. or whatever. If they have anything planned for the rest of their day. Just little things to get people talking. If there's something they do that you find interesting run with that. Ask them about it, so on and so forth. Also, if this person is someone you don't know or don't know well, just do what this anon >>23137297 said and make small talk, ask them about themselves, and so on. My issue is that I tend to tie shit into me and whether someone thinks this or not, it makes me feel like I sound like some sort of narcissist or something. Makes me not talk about myself much.
Again, I don't know how much or how little that helps, but that's just how I go about it.
That's kinda what I always end up doing, especially when I don't know much about someone. I try avoiding that but now whenever I talk to people I just sound like I'm fucking interviewing them lol
One thing that helped me is to get angry prior to starting the conversation. That way you get the voice at the back of your head constantly saying "Shut up, hurry up, why are they still talking"?
This way you emotionally detach yourself from the person.
Which leads to your anxiety diminishing as you no longer fear rejection as much due to your hatred of them.
Of course, don't start yelling or anything at them.
Just reduce your emotional investment in people.
Oh and also, I find it helps a lot when you are physically with them when you are starting out. Go have lunch or something. you can bounce topics off each other and there's usually enough going on around you that you can pull from if you aren't good at picking shit out over text
Thanks man, also would it be weird to talk to someone after a class? I made the mistake of starting at a community college before uni and people have barely talked in my classes so far
I'm in that same boat. And not really. I'd say asking to study or something works, or again you can try lunch. Usually colleges (Uni or Community) have food places around so if it's close enough y'all could even walk or something. I work at the university in my town and me and a friend will walk to the SU often for lunch as do many others. It's not odd. If you leave campus offer to drive or meet em there or something. I'd say college works out better because you know you will see them whenever your classes are.
My writing professor said that we'd all probably get to know each other by the end of the semester cus we're doing peer reviewing and shit so maybe that'll be a way? He also said to exchange school emails and shit for notes and stuff. I feel like if I only talk about school and shit I'll sound kinda autistic though. Am I overthinking this?
Kinda I think. Also sorry, computer crashed so I went to go do some other shit. If you are still here, I'd say just kinda let shit flow. Over the school email thing you can talk school, but before class and after you can chat with people about other things. Share various social media accounts, personal emails, phone numbers, etc. I don't know what context you left most of your friends under, but if you can try to reconnect there too. It may start off a little rocky, I mean, I'm working on that with someone for the third time now because I'm shit at keeping up with people over text and she's super busy and I feel like I'm bothering her. But yea, also if you get to go to parties, try and talk to a lot of people but don't sperg out, just sorta vibe with everyone there and play off events at the party.
I'm still here, I have no life lmao
I kinda just drifted apart from them especially when most of them went to universities and I stayed here. Thanks man, I'll try to just let things flow. It'd prolly be better than to try to force a conversation
I'm at least as shy as everyone here. One lesson I keep learning over and over is that even the most confident people have these insecurities (people that don't are either lying or dumb). Don't let insecurities stop you though. That's the main issue. As long as you're not hurting anyone you'll be fine, so say whatever stupid thing you think of. Embrace the thrill of being out there yanno?
I normally dont really talk in class but I guess thatd help too.
And yea, I feel that. I do music on my own but I don't really wanna come off as one of those soundcloud beats bros ya know?
Yea, what this anon says. You have to push past your insecurities to get ahead. I'm super introverted so I didn't have many friends in the first place and then my ex manipulated me into sorta throwing all my fem friends out of my life. Really sucks and I'm still working on fixing that. But go and do things. Put yourself out there. I mean, I never had to push out my guy friends so I'm still chill with them and met this super chill chick at a new years party. You just gotta roll with what you have and make the best of situations and topics.