i didn't think i'd ever actually have to do this, but here i am. i'm at a really bad point in my life, and i guess i just need some people to chat with.
i'm a female, living in the us. i work 2 days a week and go to school. i'm mentally unstable and insane. i have homicidal tendencies. i have a bad past. i am over it now, but i spend most of my days alone and i have no friends. i have catatonic schizophrenia which affects me greatly. i have almost nothing left in my life, the only small bit of hope left is potentially finding a friend on this shithole of a website. i don't really have anywhere else to go.
i can't tell you my interests, i can't tell you anything about me. i don't know anything about me. i've lost who i am, and i can only depend on other people to tell me who i am. i bend and form to whoever i like's will.
the one thing i don't want is pity. i don't want to talk about my problems. it makes me sad and regress into a violent state. i want good conversations, happy conversations, a friend i can talk to. i don't want to talk about my problems, but i can try to talk about yours if you want. please don't pity me. please don't.
my e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org
contact me if you want. leave your skype in the message and i'll add you. no need for paragraph long e-mails. a simple hello is fine.
don't know how long the e-mail will last since the website fucked up my password, but i'll post another e-mail if i need to.
thanks, everyone. if you even bother to contact me, honestly.
if you want to talk in this thread, go ahead. but i won't be very open
there are a lot of people who don't really know them selves. frankly I do'nt really know what I can entertain my self with any more. I get so board I become cynical. the only thing I've found to never really get boring is amtgard. it sucks when i try to seek love because to me, I want to be able to do shit with the people I meet beyond chilling or drink or smoking weed or sex. and yet I can't muster a thing let a lone a conversation. Sky's blue, huh?
i feel you. i've stopped seeking love since i realized everyone stops caring, and i'm too much of a boring person to ever find true love. i'm glad i'm not the only one who doesn't know how to entertain themselves. nobody understands when i say i have no interests or likes.
every one will stop caring at some point or another. mostly because out of all the people they can muster to save, is only themselves. sometimes it just too easy to fall back in to that image.
frankly I find love is just a concept that needs to be fostered to be anything real. can't fall in love over a day. let alone a year. then again I'll fall head over heels on a couple occasions.
A friend of mine has a uniqueish schizophrenia. Had an... Interesting past, with doctors and people alike.
I'd message you, but honestly I'm not a great conversationalist. I don't want to bore you or make something trigger (hate how that sounds).
i used to find myself in love.. it was never true, for the ones i loved and the ones who loved me.
i'm quite religious, and the only love thats real is from the original G (inb4 hate for being religious) but anything in the physical world is fake when it comes to love.
it's something everyone wants to feel, so they think they feel it. but they never do
What ever helps you sleep at night. no sincerely.
social circles are hard to find. You have to wade through the bull shit of people to find some one meaningful enough to call friend. and then wade through that bullshit every time you hang out. well most of the time. friendship must be fostered too. some times people just click and are immediately good friends. frankly a number of people I used to hang out with I don't see any more. and for a couple of years I was alone. Try to find something you like to do, a hobbie. usually you can find some social circle some where. then I guess hope you can click.
if anything I can recommend to try playing amtgard. the larp spans across the USA and there are bits in canada and else where.