>>23089995 Vulnerability, if anything. But it really depends on the girl more than anything. You look at a girl's face (no emotion, just how their face is naturally) and you can usually tell who's innocent or vulnerable.
Dear girls. Why the fuck won't any of you even give me a chance, I'm a nice guy yet you all seem to go to douchbags. Are you retarded or what? My question is, why won't you love me? Thanks in advance. :)
>>23090552 >any of you Not all girls are like that, there's a lot of girls that go for your type. Also, age is a factor. Younger girls tend to go for the badass cool kids, but as they become more mature, they tend to realise criminals don't make good husbands or fathers.
>>23089995 I don't know that I associate it with anything, some might say pale skin is a sign of being in-doorsy, but some people just don't tan out anyway. >>23090381 The fact that you assume that all white men pretend the same thing tells me you won't really accept an answer other than "I know right?" >>23090552 Because you are oozing desperation.
Men/women: Most important thing in a mate? Rate qualities from 1-5, 1 being most important, 5 being least, and state your gender/the gender(s) you are attracted to. >Looks (face) >Looks (body) >Personality >Level of success >Sense of humour
>>23089903 Women, preferably those in or graduated from college How do you feel about guys who haven't had any higher education? I know there are many variables that can affect this but say he's well off in what he does, is financially independent and stable, can have an intelligent discussion, a nice enough personality but just never plans on going forward in education
>>23091465 For me personally, it's a turn off. No post secondary education to me implies a complacent person who doesn't wish to pursue outside interests besides what they've already been exposed to. That being said though, I have two bachelors degrees, and I'm going to be going to law school/getting my MBA within the next 5 years, so I'm really into higher education.
>>23091484 Thanks for the perspective. I can see what you're saying about not being exposed to anything else other than what they know. The few associates I have that are in school are the dullest people who go to school, enter their career choice, and never expand on anything with their leisure time other than Netflix and the occasional 30 minute stroll around a hiking park Another factor I should've included, say that his work didn't 100% define him and he had interests he was truly passionate about and was always up for experiencing new things and actively tried new things on his own
>>23089995 I associate it with innocence, purity, and nobility. Same for blond hair, the lighter, the purer, but also the more vulnerable. I also feel that way about blue eyes. But perhaps that's just because the first person I fell in love with was like that. I'm not a nazi or anything!
>>23090552 Hey man. A lot of used to think this, you're not alone. But you gotta realize that at this point in time, no girls want you because you're a whiny faggot. Girls don't like "douchebags" they like confidence and men who wont worship them.
You HAVE no confidence. And you're just waiting to show some unfortunate girl how much you love them and worship the ground they walk on.
Women are just people with a warm moist hole you can stick your dick in. Nothing else. They aren't special. Treat them accordingly.
>>23093008 There is a 'science' to talking to girls. People who attempt to analyse it are normally horribly bad at it, and are unlikely to improve. Most people who can't 'be chill' have lacked proper guidance in that area from their role-models, there's not much you can do to fix it other than move on. If you feel dedicated, though, I'm sure you can find a few guys amongst a crowd who are initially extremely awkward around girls, but would be far more confident after a couple of conversations initiated by yourself.
>>23093227 May I offer advice? It's unlikely that you'll take it, or that you'll know how to go about achieving the goal even if you do find the advice to be sound.
Stop caring about girls. Try as hard as you can to not go out of your way to do things for them, and try to incorporate nonchalance into your activities. The easiest way to go about doing this is to find something that you absolutely love to work towards, and to prioritise this thing above all else. The rest should follow if you put your mind to it.
This worked extremely well for me.
As an extra bonus, it's very likely that you'll become very adept in your field, and that will make you feel superior to others. Until that point, try faux arrogance, though try to steer clear of pretentiousness.
Confidence isn't as key as people make it out to be, although it definitely helps.
>>23091461 >Hetero male Personality Sense of humour Looks (face) Looks (body) Level of success But they are generally kind of close to each other, aside from level of success, which doesn't matter to me at all.
>>23093008 Because it seems to be the case, you can say something to a guy and he doesn't care and if you say the same to a woman she gets mad.
I try to treat them the same way I would talk to a guy, but that doesn't work that well most of the time, because they think I have no interest in them, which isn't true at all.
Also, I have absolutely no trouble just talking to girls, but once I'm interested in them (in a sexual/romantic way) I become shy af... Somehow works online, but not so well in person.
>>23090365 To see if you are really serious about being with them or not, least that's why I'd do it. >>23092547 I guess it just depends on the person/how I'm feeling in the moment. If I go out of my way to give him one, I feel it's romantic. If he kind of nuzzles me into giving one, I see it more of a favor/pleasure just for him.
Is there any body language that you find attractive/signals attraction? I mean if I see a girl biting her lip and playing with her hair, I know she's into me, but that seems kind of silly if a guy does it!
Looking specifically for the kind of thing that will come off as playful, but not eager/desperate.
>>23094738 I've never sexted in my life, but a few likely theories: >he was chatting up several women the same way, and picked a hotter one >you were catfished >dude was cheating and got caught
>>23090552 It's taken the space of a short paragraph to prove you're not actually a nice guy. You're entitled and childish. Guys who are actually nice get plenty of girls, but you think they're just like those other douchebags because you want them to be the problem, or for women to be the problem, so that you can avoid the consideration that you are the problem.
>>23091465 I'm not in college and I'm not sure I'm gonna finish it, so I'm kinda outside the range of your intended surveyees, but I don't mind. I don't think college is the right choice for everyone and I don't think, ideally, it should be considered the end-all-be-all it often is. If someone shows that they're smart, I don't really need a diploma to tell me the same.
>>23093063 Latin guys are neither sexier nor unsexier than any other guys by a statistically significant margin. However, Latin names are undeniably the sexiest names.
Raul. Leonel. Carrrrlos.
>>23094779 A little nervousness can be really cute. Alternatively, assertive body language, which for the most part is hard to qualify because it's all so instinctive, y'know? Like, firm, upright posture is one, but beyond that there's not much that's easy to express. You just know it when you see it.
>>23094738 It's OK, I don't get those kind of people either. The only time I vanish is when I only get one-word answers and/or she never asks me anything. I assume she isn't interested in talking with me and not putting anything into the conversation so I move on, there are plenty of people to talk to anyway.
Since I only heavily sexted with one girl over the internet so far, I can't really tell the reason guys ghost. I assume what >>23094779 said or maybe he was ugly and just wanted to get some nudes out of you but wasn't interested in actually meeting up.
>>23094962 Hm, that's actually the first time I heard that. But since I'm not from NA I couldn't meet up with them anyway, or lets say I haven't found any girls online that also live "close" to me.
>Question for women How likely are you going to tell your bf/fwb/whatever about your fetishes or how long do you need to be together with them to open up about sex?
>>23093008 Because there is a science in talking to people in general. It's called behavorial psychology. I'm in IT security for a living so social engineering is something that I study regularly as that's something much more effective than standard hacking. People(not just women) can be manipulated into certain behaviors by proper pretexting, vocal tonations, gestures, expressions and having a believable story. If you don't believe me, watch the next time you go out for the guys that are having success with women and those that aren't. Science is on their side, watch how they interact, talk, draw attention to themselves etc.
>>23094962 Soooo how does a guy get in on that? Just say "you should send me a pic" to someone I'm texting with? Do I pretty much need snapchat for that kind of sexting or are most girls ok with just using imessage or whatever?
Why do women even bother with sending nudes and the like? Is it sort of an extended foreplay?
I'm just old enough that I kind of missed out on that part of teen dating so it's all a bit mysterious to me.
>>23096136 >energetic women Wear me out >social status As long as you are not a loser, I'm alright. >>23094738 They're havin a wank Turns out it was a wisdom wank And they dont really want a one night stand/no more throbbing testosterone to flirt? >>23093008 Because we're taught by society that girls are complex and confusing, and girls are taught to try to be that. People are fucking dumb.
I like energetic girls, but not the sort who need to constantly be out on an "adventure"--which usually means doing something stupid that costs money (mine). To be honest I do like introverted women more, because we can do relaxed shit like go to a museum or walk by the river.
WRT social standing, if I want to seriously date someone, then yes. I'm simply not interested in someone whose life consists of waiting tables for 30 hours a week and then spending the rest of their time with friends or watching TV.
My dick is diamonds for a woman who can actually demonstrate useful intelligence (not just a sheepskin). And I would marry money if the chance came along and the pussy was decent.
If I'm just looking for a cumdumpster, I can pretend to enjoy Harry Potter and Rihanna for a few hours a week, but my current goal in life is to line up three or four regular fuckbuddies who are each better looking and more interesting than any of my exclusive girlfriends to date.
>>23094897 >A little nervousness can be really cute >assertive body language Well which is it?
I'm studying this shit intensely. If I sit next to a woman at a bar, I can make her cream her pants, but if we go for a walk or we wind up sitting across from one another at even a small table, I'm pretty much helpless unless she's already super into me.
>>23096279 Guy responding. If this is someone you know or see around a lot, just ask her out for a drink or whatever. Keep it simple and direct. Open up a new contact and ask her to fill in her info.
If you're chatting up a stranger at the supermarket, there are lots of ways to break the ice.
Generally I compliment something *about* her, rather than just saying "you're really pretty". You can also mention the weather, what's written on her t-shirt, or just say "hey, I'm anon what's your name?".
If she's interested, you can banter for a minute or so and then just ask for her number. If you don't look like a douche or a neckbeard, she'll probably at least be flattered. Confident but relaxed body language is a must. If she turns you down, laugh it off and say "it was nice to meet you!". You never know, you might run into her again and she'll have second thoughts.
>>23096279 >best way to ask By being direct. Indirect suggestion can be misinterpreted. "I'm really enjoying your company, can I have your number, and we can go on a date this weekend?"
Tell her you like her Ask for the number Give *at least* a general suggestion of time for a date. Make sure all of this implicitly shows romantic interest.
>compliment to lead in If it's cold approach, make sure you compliment something that they did -to improve- their looks, and relate it to something you like about their natural attractiveness.
"Those earrings look phenomenal next to your eyes, I'd love a chance to get to know the woman behind those stunning eyes." Shit like this. My examples are pretty heavy, but they express the points well.
>>23089995 more pure to myself. well that and i love the peaches and cream complexion. dark skinned girls are more exotic to my eyes, with more fire and more wild. the same has applied in my past exp with landing them in bed
>>23094779 - Direct eye contact for longer than you would normally give someone. Try not to look for longer than 7 seconds at a time (to avoid creep mode). You can break and come back. - If you crack a funny glance at the person you want to impress first. This usually happens subliminally because it's a sign you are judging their reaction but they may pick up on it. - if your eyes cross smirk very (key word, very) subtly they look at another point of interest such as another person who is talking or something that is happening around you. - If in a group turn you body slightly in the direction of the person you are interested in more than anyone else.
Gestures don't have to be obvious to be noticeable.
So I'm an average guy with some standard insecurities. I don't approach women because I don't think they would be interested in me. Even when women approach me and flirt with me, I don't pursue the opportunity because I just assume that once they learn more about me, they'll stop being interested.
I'm quite happy with myself and my life. I'm proud of what I've done, and what I'm doing, where I've been, and where I'm going. My career is a large part of my life, and despite having no one to share it with, it fills me with immense satisfaction and purpose. But I'm afraid that I will continue pouring myself into my work for the rest of my life and eventually die alone.
How can I move past this idea of being worthless to women? Is there another option besides just dating until something clicks? Are there women out there mad enough to work through a shell like mine?
>>23096643 i feel you bro, i'm in the same situation, except noone flirt with me, everybody like me as a friend, but nobody see me as a potential partner, and i barely approach girls anyway because i assume i have nothing to give to them, plenty of guys are better looking, more successfull than me...
>>23096382 I'll just state my biggest turns ons since not everyone is the same
>confidence Regardless of whether I find someone attractive or ugly, if they are confident I'll be more interested in them >staring (after some sort of interaction and not for too long) If I find a man that I am acquaintances with, or even just a smile at eachother. If I catch them staring at me and they don't look away for a second then do it turns me on. Or just staring in the bedroom, when I am unclothed I love it when I get stared at. >bum I could just stare at a mans arse for years >playing with my body first I really get in the mood if someone starts touching my back, legs etc. Pretty much anywhere. >legs Muscled legs are a huge turn on
>>23096643 >I'm quite happy with myself and my life. I'm proud of what I've done, and what I'm doing, where I've been, and where I'm going. My career is a large part of my life, and despite having no one to share it with, it fills me with immense satisfaction and purpose. But I'm afraid that I will continue pouring myself into my work for the rest of my life and eventually die alone.
>When they learn more about me they will be disinterested.
If you honestly feel how you portray yourself in your second paragraph then there is no need for insecurity. Can you elaborate more on what you consider standard insecurities?
>>23096669 Well I'm inhibited by the fact I'm 25 and have zero experience dating. I don't have any problem talking with women or flirting so I think I could handle dating pretty easily, but I'm still ridiculously shy about having no experience and being a virgin.
Though I can move past that, I think. It is embarrassing but nothing unbelievably bizarre. I like to think I even have a good reason for being a late bloomer and all.
A much larger problem of mine is most likely my fear of intimacy. I can share embarrassing details about myself all day long to anyone and laugh about it, but how I'm doing, how my life is actually going, stuff like that is really hard for me to share. I've taught myself to bottle it all up and to always rely on myself. So sharing that with someone else is almost unthinkable. I don't even have a reason, its just how I operate on a daily basis.
>>23096749 You shouldn't be worried about being a virgin anon. If you are going for or interested in nice women they won't give a damn and some might even find it endearing. Being able to trust people with intimate details is something that will be come easier with time.
I think you should just take the chance. So what if you get knocked back? Pick yourself up and keep looking. You can do it =3
>>23096131 tit for tat, man. and yeah its mostly an extended foreplay. As long as we've been talking sex and what not before hand, you can always suggest moving to snap (Which i'd recommend over kik for swapping pics because you can limit how long the pic lasts for) then you ease into by sending body pics. dont dive straight to dick pics man.
its a good chance to see what you're getting before hand. also arousing.
Thanks. The thing is, I don't feel like I'm an adult/grown-up woman. My body didn't change that much (if not a all) and I feel like I'm still a kid. What makes a 21y/o-girl so different from a 18 y/o one ?
As a white male who is a 7 to 8/10 in the looks department and a computer science student with a privileged upbringing where the hell do I find white girls who are into white Guy's? I'm not into white girls who fuck outside our race I'm not into cuck shit.
How do I spot these kinds of girls or do I have to go through the whole processes of getting to know them and find out what kind of guys they are into? That's a pain.
>>23093008 Actually the majority of men don't, it's just that ridiculous "pick-up artists" are heard of more often when on that topic. >>23094738 If he does it once, it could be anything. If it's a repeat offence he's a douchebag. If you've seen this behavior in multiple men then I don't know what you're talking about. >>23096136 1: I can get down with energetic, so long as she's friendly. 2: Social standing doesn't mean jack shit to me. >>23096382 Check for the power button on the back of the neck. >>23097460 You're so you that it wouldn't even be embarrassing to live with your parents. >>23097731 I couldn't grow facial hair at 18.
>>23089903 Women What age group appeals to you most? I'm 23 and I seem to mostly attract women 18-21. I've dated girls that were my age and one older than me but the vast majority of those I've dated were a few years younger
28 y/o male, well educated, often told attractive and intelligent, artistic, relatively fit (improving slowly after injury in service) about to forgo a custody battle, will probably win because even though everyone likes to think I am a hippy, I run a tight ship and my shit is together (take that conservitards, you can be a "hippy" and a winner)
The only problem is I have HPV (NOT to be confused with HIV)
Not been a problem before, but after my ex, I have def raised the standards. I always tell partners (very few since)
How big a deal is this? Statistically, most people have it from my research, I'm just honest about it because someone was not with me until it was too late.
>>23096643 Just another male anon, but I got past those feels.
It's very possible that you're elevating women too highly (rather than being too critical of yourself). It sounds like you're inexperienced... it only takes getting to know a few women intimately to realize that they can be as petty, stupid, shallow, and boring as any man... and often moreso.
So who cares if you're "worthy" of her? She's literally just some broad.
>>23089995 Not in the slightest. Personally I tend towards pale skin just because I tend to find Scandinavian features attractive. It's a tendency though; not a rule.
I don't see why it would be innocence/vulnerability/purity; but I guess I've also known a *lot* of goth/alt/fetish folk, and pale skin tends to go hand in hand.
>>23090518 Because women and men tend towards different communication patterns. They think they are being pointedly obvious; their friends think they are being pointedly obvious.
Plus a lot of time people don't want something to happen because they SAID it. There's a difference between appreciation happening because someone said "I want to feel appreciated", and it just happening spontaneously.
(Honestly: It comes down to this; poor communication skills. Likely on both sides.)
>>23090552 Dude here, but my general rule of thumb is anyone that has to express their traits verbally doesn't have those traits. Outside of that: "Nice" doesn't get you shit; nice is meeting social decorum and not standing out in a positive or negative way. It's pretty neutral.
Instead change the question: What do you have to offer to a relationship? Why *would* someone want a relationship with you?
(Though, yes, if you're talking highschool stuff - different story. I kind of wish people posted their age with their questions.)
>>23091461 That's .. A super fucking hard question to answer. I kind of expect all of those, to be honest. I don't just shrug and decide to settle on singular aspects. That being said, I guess I can kind of cheat since I'm non-monogamous; people don't need to STRICTLY fit all the categories.
Additionally I would make level of success a fairly fluid thing - I don't want someone who does absolutely nothing, but someone pursuing art or academia is something I'm entirely okay with.
In best attempt?
1-Personality 2-Sense of humor (which I would think part of the above) 3-Looks(face) 4-Looks(body) 5-Level of success
>>23093008 Because it's people who have poor interpersonal skills and often view women to be this super "other" thing. They are the ones who are attracted to things like PUA communities.
>>23093261 I think a lot of people mistake confidence and arrogance. When people talk confidence, usually they mean, essentially, someone comfortable in their own skin who isn't looking for external validation. That's when you can, like the above poster was saying, "just be chill" about shit because it ... Really doesn't matter. You hit it off, or you don't, and you just kind of continue on with your life and pursuing your own ends.
Self assurance is received well; arrogance is not (outside of, I would argue, the younger crowd who is likely to have issues differentiating).
>>23094738 I've never done the full on never respond - but I would assume its physical chemistry slash just being straight horny, but not a whole lot of chemistry beyond that. It's the "You get me off right now, but I'm not super interested in this."
Or they get wind of something that makes them uncomfortable and they would rather cut it off before anything really starts.
Orrrr they are just like myself and a compulsive flirt.
>>23094806 As another dude: On time is good, eager can be good, but don't be supplicating. Focus on your own existence; if someone starts getting flaky you can see what's going on once or twice, but don't push after someone obviously not interested.
>>23094941 Do you mean .. Do women have ravishment related fantasies?
Yeah - consensual non-consent is pretty fucking popular. That's basically what sold 50 Shades of Grey, and the entire point of 'bodice ripper' novels (and possibly all of Harlequin romance novels? Fuck if I know).
>>23094962 It's possible they don't care. I've a few female friends that have expressed basically same thing, and I just .. Am not that interested. We will flirt and swap pictures sometimes when we're worked up, but I don't go any further.
Because boys are fucking stupid, and desperate, and there are people out there that seem to believe that everything can be boiled out to a Formula For Fucking. That's the thing, there is... to a degree... a formula for fucking. If certain steps are followed, the chances of meaningless fuck-sessions are increased. The trouble is that meaningless part.
Short version? Because boys still exist in highschool and are terrified of not being "cool".
Because it seems like an awesome game at the time, and then the reality hits. Meeting up with someone, and actually being there physically? That's a huge deal. It's fun to Talk to someone, swap picks, and engage in the fantasy. But really getting in there, and doing? That's a different reality.
You're silly for feeling like that, darling, and you're falling for terrible internet and media stereotyping. At 21, you're only just not entering into the field where I would, honestly, even consider a relationship of any kind with you. Granted, I'm an oldfag. The thing is, that 18, 19, 20? Too young. No life experience and still trying to discover who they really are. Around 25 is when a girl becomes truly interesting and attractive to me.
Don't really care, personally. I'm not a drug guy, but I'm also very much not a "party guy" either. I'm extremely pro-weed, not because I smoke it. I've never done it, I just look at the medical benefits and want to punch people in power for being assholes.
All of these have been answered by a 30/M
I'd be glad to answer any questions posed towards me, or guys in general.
Guys, uncut guys in specific >inb4 i accidentally start this fucking war So I've only had one real sexual partner before, who was cut so it's all I've really known. Recently I met someone who's uncut, and ended up giving him a handjob/blowjob. But it was really different than what I was used to. IDK how much of that was the uncut factor and how much of that was just the fact it was a completely different dude in general, but I felt like I was doing something wrong. He said he was enjoying himself but idk something about it seemed insincere. I didn't really know what to do with/think of all the extra skin lol, it was like playing with one of pic related. TL;DR, what should I know about or do differently with your dicks compared to cut dicks?
>>23095604 Behavioural psychology / social engineering / interpersonal dynamics, yadda yadda. Yeah, there's studies on aggregate behaviour and there's certain ways to manipulate people in fairly predictable patterns.
It's not magic or anything, nor is it guaranteed. Behavioural economics is a pretty fascinating study of it, if you've not ever looked into it yet.
But yes, I digress ... Science is on their side, yes, but in the same way that science is on your side in pretty much anything. They aren't running equations and if/then's in their head, they are just ... Interacting.
>>23096136 I tend to enjoy energetic girls. Depends on how you define this though - I'm not the type to go after girls who go clubbing all the time.
>>23096136 A rich girl doesn't seem more dateable; it's kind of out of the equation. I date (and have dated) a lot of students, so I'm not worried about people being broke.
That being said, I don't like people expecting that I will act as their wallet. This is independent of whatever their financial standing is.
I value the .. Social standing to a degree? The people I am interested in tend to be in high standing in their groups; but it's not like I don't pursue anyone just because they aren't popular.
>>23096279 Cold approaching is generally a bad idea. If you're complimenting, compliment non-genetic things. I would suggest just having a conversation, if you hit it off, tell them you enjoyed the chat and toss them your number "if they'd care to meet up for tea/coffee and continue the chat".
>>23096749 Stop caring about that. It's blunt, but that's the best way I can phrase it - you've spent your life focusing on other things than dating, and you have (presumably) received some success for it.
I would be tempted to say you could always seek counseling/therapy for the fear of intimacy, because that seems deep set. Regardless: I would suggest thinking about why you're afraid of it, and do a whole lot of introspection.
>>23097460 I'm 27. You would have to be a fairly fantastic 21 year old in order to catch and hold my interest, not because you're too old, but because I don't tend to dip below 22 at the absolute earliest. Lot of folk below that age tend to make me want to strangle them.
I've dated a number of 21 year olds though and they've been quite fun. Hell, I've dated younger. Why the hell would you be used up when you're lived maybe a quarter of your life?
>>23097731 I'm generally of the opinion most women can HEAVILY slide up and down the age scale based on clothing/makeup/style in general. Your body doesn't have to change a whole lot; you've had a lot more experiences than you've had since you were 18.
A hugely benefit is you've been out of high school for awhile and have hopefully left the hold overs from that behind.
>>23097984 ...Where the hell are you finding women who *aren't* into white guys?
Why does this question always come up?
But yes, you do sound like a twat (to second >>23097990 )
>>23098667 Eh. I like my hallucinogens occasionally, but I don't tend to branch outside of that. Depends on how they impact your life - if your life revolves around them, it's not for me.
>>23099205 I have HPV. I have had and continue to have a *shit ton* of partners. Honestly, most people have it or have had it - once you're asymptomatic for a year your body has essentially cleared it.
You'll get the occasional fling that will freak out, but if you're up front with stuff and don't make it a big deal people don't tend to make it a big deal.
>>23100835 You smiled at them first and they are being polite, they made awkward eye contact with you accidentally and are trying to be polite, they're interested in you, they were just smiling about something unrelated to you in the first place and you happened to catch them and thought they were smiling at you. Smiles don't really mean much bro. It could just be a polite friendly gesture or it could mean they want your cock. You won't really be able to know. >>23099509 Yes, but I only had it happen once and it was half assed because he was kind of an asshole who didn't care if I got mine as long as he got his. So can't really answer the second half, but I enjoyed what little experience I had. >>23098191 Tying in with above, the appeal to oral for me comes from the fact that I'm super sensitive. Like to the point that most touches hurt rather than feel good. So tongues are a lot more gentile and softer by nature, and can only move so quickly. So for me, soft licks and kisses felt fucking incredible. But I'm not sure if I'm in the majority on this one. >>23098045 Sounds about right for me lol. I'm 20, I prefer to keep 2-3 years above me, but accept same age and 1 year above. I don't like to date below me, just because at this age I'm dipping too close to high school territory. I'd probably be more open to dating younger when I'm older, but I just find myself more attracted to older guys as a lot of women do. I have a kink for authority, so any social or physical factor that makes him "superior" to me is a plus.
>>23099538 Soooooort of. You can get a vaccine to protect against the four most common strains (Two most common cancer causing, two most common wart causing) strains. Once you are symptomatic they just basically burn them off with liquid nitrogen until they stop appearing, then after a year of that, you're essentially 'clean'.
But it does technically stay forever within you.
Most people have actually had it - it's a large reason why they moved the suggested age to be tested for STI's up.
>>23099509 Statistically, 3/4 of women cannot orgasm from penetration. Again, statistically, the most likely way for a woman to get off is oral sex.
It's by no means a hard and fast rule, tons of people get off from PIV, and tons of people hate being eaten out ... But yeah, generally a safe bet you should be keeping your tongue and hand game strong.
>>23100784 Deep throat is she's doing the action; face fucking is I'm shoving my cock down her throat. Basically think of it as someone swallowing a hot dog, versus the hot dog outright fucking them in the mouth outside of their control.
(Wow that's a weird visual).
You probably should explicitly clear with said date the face fucking thing before you do it, or expect it to end badly.
>>23100860 Basically think about it like this: Uncut cock provides its own lubrication; skin moves smoothly so it's not going to get friction burns.
I cannot really compare what you should do to my cock versus another cock, because, well, I only have my cock. If you think there's something wrong, communicate - he's the only one that can really tell you anything.
I don't think I've ever had anything happen to me where I've thought "OH GOD NO THIS WON'T WORK I AM UNCUT."
>>23100860 Would be easier to give instructions and comments while you are at it, not trying to be cheeky. I'd rather be an honest experiment and let you do that while i give the coments lol. >>23100936 This.
>>23091461 Woman who likes men: 1 Personality 2 level of success 3 face 4 humor 5 body Though this is under the assumption of like, looks meaning you're not deformed or obese. Looks to me is like the first impression, but it becomes the least important things in the long run. If I'm completely physically unattracted to a guy, its not going to work even if hes perfect in every other aspect. Call me vain, but there's gotta be some degree of physical attraction. But I'm willing to over look more and more physical flaws as the other criteria is met, if that makes sense. >>23091465 I personally think college is a scam, and that it doesn't measure intelligence in any way shape or form and frankly doesn't even actually prepare people for the jobs they're going to get, but that being said no degree is a turn off to me. Purely because I don't think the rest of the world/society even gives non degree holders a chance. Like, even if you're in a good job now I don't think I'd trust them to keep you, because the rest of the world sees you as disposable/easily replaced. It's a matter of financial security to me, sure there are plenty of people with degrees who have zero financial security anyways, but I feel like getting a degree is just the hoop you gotta jump through you know? It's stupid but it's what's been decided upon as the only way to increase your chance of survival. idk, thats just my thoughts on it.
>>23100936 ok that answers one thing lol. Low key was wondering if that's how it's supposed to feel or if that was just him but felt kinda stupid asking that straight out lmao. >>23100964 Well the skin moving is the biggest difference I saw. Like with my old cut BF, I would just lightly run my fingers up his cock to like tease him/warm him up. With this new guy that didn't really work because it was just dragging the skin up. He walked me through a little bit after I admitted I was really inexperienced in general but it's kinda awkward when you're just 1-2 times hook up. Also unrelated to my ask, but reading your response on the HPV thing. If you are completely vaccinated is it an issue fucking someone with it, I mean I assume theres some risk as it just protects against the common strains, but is the risk significantly lower? >>23100992 I feel ya (no pun intended) but like I said in above lol, seems weird to have that kind of in depth personal back an forth on how to jack you off when you're basically strangers just doing a casual thing. I'm just looking for general tips and advice really.
>>23089995 No, i associate it with a norse/northen origin; about the innocence its more dependeng of her reactions at some topics... and her face >>23093008 Because many of women likes to mess with us and try to confuse everyone who tries to make some contact, some other just act cool and this difference usually is more confusing, its a kind of loop >>23094738 Maybe just lost the interest and dont want to give an awkward goodbye
>>23101017 >I personally think college is a scam, and that it doesn't measure intelligence in any way shape or form and frankly doesn't even actually prepare people for the jobs they're going to get, but that being said no degree is a turn off to me.
>It's a matter of financial security to me.
>My Love is conditional to fiscal potential to me.
>>23101083 Reading what you said i think i'd have no problem. I asked my gf to grip harder a bit but she didnt like to do that, she liked to feel it, but she started being great at sucking while at it so it made no difference in the end. It depends on how you play i guess. Thumb on the fenulum, grip on the base, all of those works for me. About the HPV... i wouldn't go out with a person if i knew that person has or had anything...
Question for the femanons. Sorry if it sounds butthurt. I admittedly am feeling a bit butthurt right now, and I can't think of a better way to phrase it.
Why do women seem to have such high requirements to even talk with men online? For example, "write something interesting in your add request or I won't bother adding you." Or another example, "include a joke in your Tinder messages." Basically, dance monkey dance. Isn't it a bit demeaning? What makes you so special that guys need to go through such obviously trite things for your conversation (where invariably most women aren't that attentive to begin with)?
>>23101138 Well, do you wanna be with a deadbeat your whole life mooching off your salary? I don't want to support another adult financially my whole life on my own, that just doesn't sound like a fun time to me. But by all means, if you're into that then it's cool. But that's why the prospect of financial security matters to me in a relationship. I don't want to be the only one with a job, I may love him regardless, but I'm not going to be happy working my ass off all the time to make rent and buy food because he can't get a job. If I wanted that I'd have a damn baby instead.
>>23101185 hmm, well I can answer for myself. Online dating scares the shit out of me desu. But it's the only way to do it anymore it seems, so I begrudgingly take part. But you can be anyone online, a good person, a psycho murderer rapist, a genuine truthful guy, or a guy telling me what I want to hear in hopes I'll change my mind and bang you. So some of those things could just be tests to see if you raise any red flags. It could just be tests to see if you're what they're looking for. Like if you really valued a humorous guy, having them open with a joke cuts all the bullshit and gives a taste for what they're in for. Also the "Write something interesting" thing, I get. Idk how many flopped tinder messages I've gotten of just "hey whats up" "Oh nothing that's cool." Like what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? There's no dialogue here, its like making small talk and it's annoying IRL but even stupider through text. But surprisingly its more common online, so I kinda get people saying "if you don't have anything interesting to talk about why bother?" Plus if you offer something "interesting" about yourself, again that can be a start to check for red flags and see who the fuck you actually are, because to me you're some random asshole on the internet in a sea of other random assholes. You very well could be a psycho murder rapist for all I know.
>>23101083 Ah - yeah: Skin sliding in and of itself won't do a whole lot, I am trying to think of the best analogue and ... Probably like if you were REALLY lubricated; friction needs to be fairly prominent if you're going to provide more than just the psychological stimulation.
That being said, you're touching a guys dick - it's a new thing, and you're exploring each other. That light touch can still be a HUGE tease; as a *general* tip I would say just spend more time leading up to the tease maybe, increase the sensitivity of the area.
~Probably~ most sensitive spot will be around the frenulum (the little piece of skin that connects the foreskin to the glans). That is for me, at least.
Honestly, just explore and figure out what works and what doesn't - there's not going to be a hard and fast rule set (Ha).
In regards to the vaccination: I don't know the number of strains out there, nor do I know how much more significant those strains that they vaccinate against are. Your best bet is asking a healthcare professional.
I ~would~ say that it reduces your chance, but it by no means removes it. I am not sure if it confers a generalized immune response as well.
Honestly, HPV really, really, really isn't that big of a deal. I am going to pull numbers out of my head so excuse the inaccuracy, but something like 75% of the population has it or has had it already.
>>23101142 Out of pure curiousity: Has *had* anything? The vast majority of STI's are benign and easily removed.
>>23101185 I would say most females, even just moderately attractive ones, are BOMBARDED with MUHDICK mentality every damn day. Confirmed when I see various womens FB pages, a few that have let me see their inboxes (to prove a point to me on their treatment or whatever) etc etc.
So they probably just don't want to waste their time, I mean, can you imagine how often they are annoyed with tools every day?
>>23101185 Because their inbox is constantly flooded with stupid shit. Seriously. I haven't used my OkCupid account in a year and some, and while I had great success with it, I think I have something like 60 'Likes'. One of my partners receives about 25-50 a day. Every single day.
Every single woman I know on a dating site has an inbox that is constantly flooded with shitty messages. Seriously, check blogs like:
http://thanksokcupid.tumblr.com/ http://doms-of-okcupid.tumblr.com/ (Yes, fuck tumblr and all)
Their inbox is a mess of: - Completely shitty hateful messages - Inappropriately sexy messages - Boring floods of 'hey' 'hey' 'hey' 'hey' 'hey' - Copy pasted stuff - Stuff that blatantly indicate the fellow never read their profile.
Basically making an actual effort in the message distinguishes you from the literally faceless horde; and following requests in her profile shows that you actually read the fucking thing.
Also in the case of jokes, it spices up the conversation and makes it potentially a bit more fun. (And provides a bit of a litmus test I am sure, if someone drops a pretty bigoted/sexist/stupid joke).
>>23101315 QFT here anon. I've got a lot of hotties for friends and holy crap do they get some crazy shit regularly. It's after you realize some of the stuff that they have to deal with that you realize that the best way to pick up girls is to be chill and fun and not press too much. It's best to treat them like your guy friends and joke around and have a good time. I'd filter out the dudes to find ones that are 1/2 normal too if I had to deal with all the shit they deal with.
I'm not a guy, and I've had no dating success at all either, but maybe its because you're an autistic bitch. Most guys who have to point out that they are "nice guys" typically are autistic bitches, and you're no exception. Try treating women like people. That would probably improve your chances quite a bit.
Introvert here trying to finally break out of thick shell and actively trying to find a date. What kinds of places do single women typically gather at college apart from the bar? One of my few requirements for the girl that I'm going to date is we have to have at least one common interest. Video games, anime, physics, astrophysics, documentaries, books, etc. I just feel no connection or interest if no common interests exist. Problem is that girls who like these things tend to be hard to find. I know you're out there, where are you on a college campus? Again, apart from the bar. I hate bars.
>>23101952 ok anons, I'm 37, let me share some wisdom with you. You want to know which of my friends dates the hottest women and got the most ass. It's not the 6' sexy bear that's me even though I got more than my fair share. It's my fucking best friend that's 5'5" and 145 lbs. He's not the greatest looking guy by any stretch but he's fun and hell and confident and it doesn't matter if a girl doesn't like him. He moves on and honestly if they don't like him they're missing out on an awesome dude. Bottom line, it's not how tall you are, how big your dick is, how much money you make, it's whether you're comfortable in your own body, enjoy your own company and you're fun to be around. PEOPLE STOP BASING YOUR VALUE ON WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU!!!!!!!!! If you let others set your value they will, and they'll set it low. If you set it low yourself then it's your own damn fault. I have a saying, it's "I might be easy but I'm not cheap" which means that sure I'm down, but I'm also worth a lot too because I set my own value and it's high.
>>23101995 The beauty of it is that it's my life so I can live it and value it how I want. I've been married for 10 years to a great woman with 2 kids. Sorry that some strangers life on the internet isn't up to your "high" standards.
>>23102009 the more you post, the worst you get. with someone 10 years: ouch. married? wow, no, kid, no. what is this the 1800's?! who gets married?! and kids? are you really this pathetic?! what a loser. i bet you didn't even adopt: at least that would be doing something of moral import if you have to have kids: though starving to death/dying young or being raised by you is a perfect catch 22. i feel so sorry for your kids: they are going to be as fucked and miserable as you. :(
My GF is 5'1 and Asian. Before we came together she partied a lot and drank very much (me too so not a problem). We are together for 5 1/2 Months now and went on holiday together over New Year.
In summer was the last time we drank together, where I easily drank twice as much as her. Now since we are together I stopped drinking and she claims she did too but on our vacation she outdrank me by much. I admit that now I tolerate nearly nothing anymore but anyway but I am a 6'1 white male.
In her defense I could see the alcohol on her (she visible gained weight) and the time where she could be partying we nearly always write or Skype etc. The question is now that it is possible that a small asian girl could keep such an high tolerance without drinking.
>>23089995 No, pretty much the opposite. Although very subtle either way. Pale skin is just hot.
>>23091461 >Looks (face) 3 >Looks (body) 5 (as long she got BMI below 22, I don't care too much) >Personality 2, it's very broad and success and humour are part of it. >Level of success 5 if economical success, 4 if academical success or something related to her goals. >Sense of humour 1, spending time with people who don't share my sense of humour is tedious as fuck. M/22, into pussy
>>23093008 Since "be a normal/cool person" is too hard and vague for losers, they try to look for something that is more simple and clear.
>>23094738 Hard to explain that shit for sure. He was probably caught cheating or was fucking around with you from the start. Or he's an extreme sperglord.
>>23096136 >What do you think of energetic girls? I am not exactly sure what you mean with that but it sounds like a very positive quality.
> Does a rich girl seem more dateable to you? Obviously. Although high social standing or being rich is just a big plus and lack of it isn't a minus per se.
>>23097460 Rather slightly too young, although it depends more on what you do and not your fucking birthyear.
>>23098667 Honestly couldn't care less even if you're into hard drugs, as long you got your addiction under control and can have fun without the shit.
>>23089995 I tend to associate pale skin with beauty. I tend prefer girls with a very light skin color. But it's my personal taste.
>>23093008 Because YOU girls make it a goddamn science.
>>23094738 It could be for a number of reasons. A couple examples that happened to me: 1. Ended up in a swap-pics-sex-over-skype thing with a girl. It went of for quite a while, and she was always ready to do everything I asked (and I mean everything). Eventually she started talking feelings despite we previously agreed not to. I ghosted. 2. Met a girl on the internet living on the other side of the planet. Somehow she drifted our skypecalls towards sex-related things. Flashed me boobs and from there on we ended up having sex over skype and swapping snaps. Eventually she got a bf, and we're still friends. I consider her one very good friend.
So, as you can see, it really depends on the situation.
>>23096136 > What do you think of energetic girls? I find them amazing. > How much do you value the social standing... Nope, rich aren't more dateable to me. Especially because I always tend to pay for both of us when I invite a girl out.
>>23090552 In my experience, anyone who uses the line "I'm a nice guy", is not actually a nice guy. If it was true, you wouldn't have to tell me using your words, you would show me using your actions that you are nice.
Anon with dicks, Who of you has had multiple chances to cheat on a significant other and turned them all down? It is my experience that even the best of men will cheat if they are certain they won't get caught. Is this accurate?
>>23105760 yeah, i think there's no discussion that this isnt the biggest dick I've seen in my life. But it's got a healthy curve to it. I figured this matters most. Just find the right angle and you will just perfectly hit the g :)
You shouldnt call your dick small. Call it the g-spot-kamikaze :)
>>23105771 >had multiple chances to cheat on a significant other and turned them all down Raises hand. For me it was never the question of getting caught, couldn't care less about that; there was simply no point in cheating besides extra validation, which felt too pathetic of a reason.
> It is my experience How old are you? What kind of guys did you date, for how long? I bet the problem is buried somewhere here.
>>23105799 it sure will. i dont have much experience with chubby guys, but it looks, like there are some centimeters hiding :P
pro tip: if you would open sex with the words "and now, behold the mighty g-spot-kamikaze!" you could get me with the smallest dick in the world :D be confident about yourself, and your dick and no decent girl in the world will care :)
Believe it or not but humans are merely animals and especially when it comes to mating matters we are especially primal. Sure there is variation in what you need to do to attract a woman or a man and there are certainly plenty of outliers but there are rules of thumb when it comes to attracting the opposite sex (or same, whatever)
>>23105806 I'm almost 27, and really it's not necessarily the guys that I have dated. I bartended for about 4 years. It seemed that even the nicest of guys- especially if they were out of town for work or whatever- where cheaters when it came down to it. I have been hit on by married guys and guys in committed relationships multiple times also. Even dated a guy for three months once. He claimed to be recently divorced and I had no reason to doubt him, until his wife called me one day.
I've never been cheated on that I know of. Well other than shady guys not telling me they were involved. It's mostly been my observations of other people.
>>23105816 I mean I have met guys that came in the bar with their wedding ring on, and when I asked where they were from they proudly told me about their beautiful wife and family. Many of them even broke out pictures. But those same guys by the end of their trip were hitting on me or other women in the bar.
>>23105831 Well, your job might skew the numbers, to give a more extreme example, if you'd worked in a brothel, you're very likely to encounter cheaters. Although it also depends a lot on your definition, and more important the how the guys defined cheating with their partners. Some would see flirting as cheating, others kissing, others everything beyond, etc, etc.
From your examples, only the faggot with a wife seems to be cheating 100%.
From the guys I know, about 1/3 cheated, and these were the types where you'd expect it from miles away, about the same number for females.
>>23105846 That's the problem right there, the good guys aren't going to be hitting on people in bars because they aren't the type to hook up. They're looking for a relationship where sex is a bonus, not the foundation.
>>23105771 When I was monogamous I had shit tons of chances to cheat on people, a lot of the time I knew I would be able to get away with it without getting caught.
I didn't because that's a shitty thing to do? I don't avoid cheating because I fear the outcome, I avoid cheating because it's a shitty behaviour.
I've still never cheated. Now that I'm non-monogamous, the closest I can come to cheating is fucking people that my partners wouldn't be okay with ... But that's pretty rare, and generally not something I am worried about with casual partnerships.
How old are you? That sounds like a really high school esque thing.
>>23105823 Rules of thumb, yes, but not hard and fast rules. There's a science to human behaviour, but if you're trying to apply it as a 'science' to any particular interaction you're pretty fucking likely to fail. Even when talking social engineering, it's essentially 'tips' and subverting norms in order to benefit from it.
>>23105831 I've worked nightlife myself; I would assume a lot of it is going to skew by a self selected segment - it's an environment that's going to have a lot of people looking to hook up to some degree. People who cheat, I imagine, would be more likely to go there.
Additionally, it's also going to be a perception bias - you're not going to be aware of the people who are married or in a relationship and NOT doing anything.
>>23105960 Have fun doing so? Like .. Just enjoy cooking? Or like, I bend them over the counter and fuck them?
To the first - no, why would it? I mean, its super fucking awesome if she cooks for me and I will adore her if she does so, but it's not a sexual thing. If she has fun cooking, all the better, because we can talk about food and I'll make her something next time in turn.
If you're talking about someone cooking in lingerie or doing the whole naked apron thing, they won't be cooking for long. It has a lot less to do with the fact they cooking, and more the state that they are in.
>>23105990 That's what psychology and sociology is about, yes, but you're generally talking about in a broad societal context. It doesn't in turn mean that it's directly applicable to any one situation.
>>23106062 Possibly/probably. I will give context to my response in that its couched in terms of me having an unremitting sex drive. I am always horny to *some* extent, and partners pull out lingerie only to further facilitate it. It's a giant 'We are going to fuck" flag that smashes my thoughts into oblivion. Pretty much anything can create sexual tension for me. *Shrug*
But in general? Yeah people are going to respond well to lingerie because of the above - lingerie implies you're planning to fuck.
But yeah pretty much. If I said anything other than that, most of my friends would do a spit take or roll their eyes. Pretty much everyone in my social group tends to be someone I was attracted to, started talking to, and enjoyed them as a person.
Plus when I get to know people, and like them for who they are, I tend to have a hard time noticing physical flaws.
>>23093035 As a girl who likes blowjobs, if you keep your tongue close to the roof of the mouth when he cums, you won't be able to taste it Plus, it may seem weird, but the further you have it in your mouth, the less of it hits your tongue, and the faster it goes down your throat
hey guys, i like dick but I'm fucking terrified of all of you and i don't know how to tell you you scare me or what to do...i've been with boys who were forceful with me in the past and i think it's left a negative mark on my psyche and i'm missing out on some cool relationships because of it. so i guess my question is, what can i do to get over it, and will boys date me if i'm sensitive to any touch whatsoever and take a long time (or possibly an indefinite length) to get to the bed part of the relationship? >>23107596 i don't think it's a big deal but it does give off a weirdo/geek sorta vibe. figures are just for truest otaku. I think if the girl you're dating doesn't have any eastern inclinations whatsoever it'd be safest to hide them.
I will be getting a blowjob for the first time this weekend, and I'm going to blow my load almost immediately. Is there anything I can do, short of masturbating beforehand that will allow me to last longer?
>>23107724 Just .. Don't worry about it? So what if you blow your load quick; you're getting head for the first time. Return the favor, and then when you get hard again, go at it. There won't be any complaints.
>>23107652 Honestly why not pursue therapy/counseling? That sounds like more than just basic reticence, and some stuff that could actually be worked on.
I would personally say be up front about it. I've had partners who have been in similar situations, and it's REALLY important I know (even in vague ways) what could accidentally set them off. Unfortunately, sexual abuse is pretty fucking common, and otherwise functional people can have some pretty intense "triggers" that cause melt downs.
Seriously. Communication is awesome. One of my current partners was a person I wasn't expecting to be able to *ever* touch, because she has HUGE issues with physical contact. Now I have blanket consent to touch her when we are in private situations (i.e.: She can reasonably expect that any contact is made by me, and not random people), and are super fucking cuddly and affectionate.
The relationships are out there, you're not fucked up or anything. Everyone accumulates some form of damage.
>>23107781 Is this .. Entirely just focused on you? Otherwise even if you're not going to go down on her, you can indulge in various forms of foreplay and stretch out the occasion. When I said 'when you get hard again, go at it' I meant go fuck, not get another round of oral.
Pretty much it's just .. Masturbate before hand. I mean, you could give yourself 'death grip', but that's more problematic than anything else. If you flex your pelvic floor it will inhibit ejaculation, but you don't really have time to build up the ability to hold it engaged for a long period of time.
>>23107774 is it unreasonable of me to expect to find a guy up to my standards who's willing to not have sex? i feel so desperate at this point that I should just take my lumps, have sex with somebody when they want to because thats part of a relationship.
>>23107822 >Is this .. Entirely just focused on you? She wanted to have sex with me initially, but after I told her I was a virgin, she offered to give me a blowjob instead. Suppose she doesn't want to deal with me being bad at sex and all that.
>>23107841 Mnn. That's an odd question to answer. Are you talking about willing to never have sex, or willing to work with you about the physical hangups?
The first is putting your dating prospects into an incredibly tiny segment of the population. Yes, it's entirely possible to have a partner like that, but outside of the asexual community most people want to be sexual with their partner. If you're non-monogamous it gives a bit more of a leeweay because it means the partner isn't dependent on you for sex, but a LOT of folk still use sex and physical intimacy as a way to get closer to someone and affirm their connection.
Honestly my biggest worry in that case is that you're not working to move past the trauma. I don't mean to diminish it in any way, but it's something that's impacting you in a negative fashion and probably would benefit quite a bit from professional help.
In regards to the second scenario, someone working with you to get over it? Yeah, that's possible - it broadens your horizons a bit, but you do have to realize that by standing out from the general population it makes dating trickier. It doesn't mean anything *bad* .. But it does make it harder. You're generally requiring a lot stronger connection, because it requires a certain level of investment.
In general though I would recommend getting professional help all the same.
>>23107935 Dude here, but (to my understanding from dating a HOLY FUCK TON OF SQUIRTERS), it's not necessarily a push thing. A lot of the women I know who were formally anorgasmic were because they felt the urge to 'pee' and clamped down really really really really fucking hard, which inhibited their own orgasm.
For some folk they may have to push to start squirting, but it seems to become pretty automatic - most women I know who start squirting rapidly start having troubles not squirting.
For a lot of folk it seems to accompany a really, really, REALLY intense orgasm. Plus most don't see it as pee.
>>23107544 Holy shit, yes. It's probably more nasty than cum stains.
>>23107652 It's a slow process, approach it with the speed you're comfortable with, I am sure there are enough guys who are cool with it. Ya just gotta (slowly) learn/discover that not all guys are as horrible as the ones you dated so far.
>>23106138 Not all. Very likely to fantasize about it, see if it does anything for me. Do women do the same?
I have a question. Every time I start talking to a girl online, things just sort of peter out. I don't take this too personally, but I do wonder why. Is it >she's already talking to a bunch of other people >I'm not what she's looking for >I'm supposed to lead the conversation in some way If it's the latter, I have no idea what to do. I'm really hesitant about taking charge with women. Worried I'll come off as a creep. Any suggestions?
>>23110450 Why not wish her the same, ask her how she's doing, and mention that you're surprised to hear from her? That gives her some room to explain if she wants to.
Girls - I'm going out with this girl and things are kinda hard. She said she wants to take it slow because she got out of a long relationship and we are. But it's damn hard to do anything with her - she'll not want to go out or find some excuse or whatever. I've been patient so far because she's an insomniac and I think she's depressed, but the whole thing is just going nowhere after like a month and a half. Literally nowhere.
Plus she saw her ex recently (he intruded on her family, according to her and I'm inclined to believe her a little because she did talk with me on the phone and all in front of him). I asked her, very lightly, if him coming over meant something had changed. She said it hadn't, that she was "not so sure" about him and she still likes me and all. But she is still talking to him - I saw him message her by accident and saw that there's responses from her. One-word ones, but still. And she's sometimes joked about having to "choose" or whatever, I don't know if those light comments just mean she's trying to kinda trying to make the whole ex thing more casual or she's revealing stuff through them.
And I know this all sounds like she's a horrible idea, but when we went out yesterday (finally goddamn managed to get her out) she did say some sweet things and when I joked about a guy at her work being her priority for guys (long story) she did outright say "no, you're my top priority now".
And then today she's back to being sorta evasive, generally worse and dodging plans we made (we had agreed to spend the day this weekend and now she's saying she might not be able to and excusing herself with "girl problems", which is a fine excuse I guess, but not for just not hanging out at all).
But anyway, am I just being impatient here or am I generally right in being annoyed at all this?
>>23097984 >how do I find white girls into white guys ... Being nonwhite and reading these sorts of posts pisses me off. I'm not huge into hurr check your privilege type bullshit, but white men and women have it the easiest by far in the dating world. You'd be hard pressed to find a woman against the thought of dating white guy, but I cant say the same for many other races. You cant find a gf because you're a shithead, not because youre white
My question is for guys. Do your standards go down as you age? Or is that people finally realize what their appropriate standards should be? I feel like guys (esp ugly nerds) had such high standards in high school, but now i'm in my 20's and the guys my age seem to date women around their attractiveness level.
>>23110715 Seconded as white guy. Hell, I had Asian and black chicks wanting to date me BECAUSE I am white.
>>23110767 >Or is that people finally realize what their appropriate standards should be? Sounds like this plus desperation, age helping in the sense that the person is more mature and realizes that they won't be able to impress anybody above them; realizing their standing.
Personally though, my standards went up. As 18 year old kid, I'd be fine with a smart/hot chick and wouldn't care about the rest. Four years later this would be a part of lengthily list of minimal requirements.
>>23110767 I don't know. I definitely had unrealistic standards in high school, but it wasn't due to an excess of confidence on my part. More the opposite, feeling like all girls were unattainable. These days I'm more interested in finding a fun person to fuck than a hot person to fuck. I also give less of a fuck about what someone else thinks of my appearance, just trying to take care of myself for my own sake.
>>23110789 My list wouldn't be too different. They're all pretty important to me, to the extent that a person can control their personality, face, etc. I like to know that someone cares about their self.
>>23110715 It's such a weird post. He sounds like he'd be fine with a chick who strictly bathes in pure white American semen.
>>23110767 My standards for women have gotten higher with age. I was very shallow in school and would only want to get with a girl for her looks even if her personality wasn't anywhere near what I would want in a person. Between then and now I realized a 9/10 with a 2/10 personality isn't ideal so I started dating women with great personalities but this usually came at a cost of looks. I found that I wasn't satisfied with knowing I have dated highly attractive women so I raised my standards even more. Now I have been with a 10/10 looks and personality, by my standards because I didn't just settle out of desperation. As far as only dating within your attractiveness range I think that's a load of horseshit, by /soc/ standards I'm like a 4 on my best day and my girlfriend would be 8+ every day of the week
>>23110846 >it's such a weird post. He sounds like he'd be fine with a chick who strictly bathes in pure white American semen. Well I mean there's not much wrong with what he's asking, even if he is doing so kind of rudely. In fact, most white women do fit his criteria unless he's looking atbar sluts, but he's so deluded he thinks 4chan memes translate to the real world
>>23110767 My standards have gone up since I aged. One part of that is I have a bit of a predisposition to go for 'crazy' folk, so I've gotten a LOT better at recognizing red flags over time. Outside of that I did have a stretch of time where my standards were reasonably close to "Are you hot? Do you not annoy me? Or can I at least tolerate small doses of you? SURE LETS FUCK!"
I would venture that as people get older they stop being as shallow focused as to ONLY go for 'hot'; it doesn't mean that their standards are going down, they just have a FAR broader range of standards people have to meet. People still want someone they find attractive, but they aren't necessarily looking for a fuck-trophy.
>>23110450 We cannot answer that for you - there's no automatic code that exists; all it means is that she's thinking of you for whatever reason. Just follow what >>23110548 said - be civil, interact with her, fucking COMMUNICATE.
>>23110597 Dude here and all - but ... It sounds like she's not super invested into the situation. When you say she JUST got out of a long term relationship, how soon do you mean? My immediate thought is this is a rebound thing.
Or its possible she's just depressed and fucked up. You can be a priority, but she can still be having a lot of fucked up thoughts rolling around in her head. She has no obligation to stop talking to her ex, so I wouldn't freak out about that, but I would definitely just .. Talk to her about your concerns. Tell her you feel like she's being super distant and evasive, and you're worried if she's been dealing with depression, or what's been going on.
You're generally right to be annoyed by all of this because she's not communicating. It looks like you've extended a few branches, but it's also time for you to sit down and have some open communication before you work yourself up.
How do you smile with teeth? I feel like a fucking autist trying to smile with teeth. My teeth are straight and healthy. Just the way they are shaped makes it looks embarrasing. Here is a forced smile with teeth. What can I do?
Women: I find it strange that you (at least pretend to) enjoy looking at, touching, or sucking dick. When I first started having sex I felt weird pulling it out and even weirder when it was hard because it's like this strange appendage attached to me.
Do you feel the same way about your pussies? Like that it's weird men are attracted to them?
In the same vein, I don't consider myself a very attractive dude but my girlfriend is gorgeous and thinks I'm very good looking, are some women just kind of attracted to male ugliness or something?
>>23111372 yea, everyone is into their own thing. i know i have like huge unfs over guys everyone says are weird, like michael kelly and richard ayoade. >>23109628 i don't think all guys are as bad, but i feel like the likelihood a guy i date is going to be at least forceful or impatient if not downright abusive is higher than the inverse. >>23110426 i'd be really weirded out if he didn't talk to me about it first.
I'm really turned on by a specific kind of underwear and my gf only has one pair of them, but she knows I like it and has said "i put them on for you" before. Id like to buy her a bunch of them and ask her to wear them most of the time... worried that will seem possessive though. What's the best way to go about this
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