>>7845334 all you can do is kill yourself if you remove your positive emotions, you are still going to have a negative reaction to pain unless you are paralysed, but now you will have no reason to live so will probably top yourself over a headache so might as well cut to the chase and bypass the misery
Depression is a super-power when it first comes on. I remember being in H/S experiencing the start of it, and the apathy and escape from emotions was amazing. I could take anything, I was calm and collected in virtually any situation.
It's only after several years do these abilities get old. Forgetting what it's like to feel. This cynical and at times sociopathic approach to life certainly seems like it's missing quite a bit.
>>7846531 I sometimes hear about people using seroquel as a recreational drug and it makes no sense. It seriously makes you feel like shit. Well, first you sleep for a long time, then you feel like shit. But if OP wants to live like a zombie, this is the drug that will do it. My shrink once admitted to me that he kept me on a high dose of seroquel for several years just to make sure I was too fucked up to do any harm. If emotionless and apathetic is what OP wants, this will do the trick. I'd recommend against it though.
>>7845538 I'm emotionless and apathetic. It's not a good place to be. I won't suicide because I still have hope that at some point life will be worth living. Unfortunately hope is the cruelest torture devised by a wicked god. It doesn't let you accept your fate and stop struggling. As if there's some virtue in prolonging your own suffering. We all will die and be forgotten. I suppose I really continue to live so I can help support people that I used to care about. Habit. I lurk 4chan for the occasional cheap laugh or interesting bit of news. A spark in the dark. Don't come down here. It sounds good when all you have is emotional pain. But there is something worse. It's being able to remember what love and joy feel like, and not only have you lost them, you can never, ever get them back. Even when others love and care about you and all you can do is wonder why.
>>7846783 I've actually been to this state of rock bottom, the worst. I eventually got over it after my first year of college. While in my in between class breaks I would lay on the grass under the trees listening to my fav chill jams, I would stare up at the sky and the trees and I began having epiphanies and how beautiful the world is, scientifically and microscopically. Slowly I recovered and now I regret all of my past wishes of wanting to die.
>>7847366 I need to warn you. It's very likely you'll relapse. Have a plan for recovery.
I had ups and downs for years, until I hit a bottom that has persisted for over a year now.
The funny thing is, it's been the most productive and successful year of my life. I hit three lifetime milestones AND more than doubled my income. A normal person would be ecstatic. It all means nothing to me. And it's all been an effort to make sure I leave "loved" ones well cared for when I inevitably make the call to check out permanently.
>>7848328 I don't actually want to be motivated. I just want to be able to sit down and study efficiently and endlessly. I want to become educated but I can't work for over 20 minutes without succumbing. Is there a drug for this?
>>7850436 >discussing science >on /sci/ kek. You missed another IQ thread, stage left. Or trying reading through this thread. OP is a junkie discussing his habbits, and people are either encouraging him by sharing their experience with drugs or calling him a faggot. Not one single article, study has been quoted providing information either way. Stop being such a pretentious cock fucking namefag, There is no science here
>>7850467 No, what you're doing is called shitposting and pretending to act defensive while not having an actual point to defend. You can't claim to be talking about a topic without failing to talk about that topic. The act of claiming that you're talking about it means that you're no longer talking about the topic, you're talking about the fact that you're talking. The fact that you're talking has nothing to do with the topic, even if there's a post where you talked about the topic.
>>7853093 M-maybe if I think really hard I'll stop being sad, right sempai?
>>7846770 >My shrink once admitted to me that he kept me on a high dose of seroquel for several years just to make sure I was too fucked up to do any harm That's extremely fucked up and flagrantly violates the trust of a doctor-patient relationship, if not actual standards of professional conduct. I hope you stopped seeing him then and there.
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