How Fucked Am I?

>>7798975
What was the incident?

>>7798985

I didn't really want to say but I guess I have to specify. I don't think that it was that big of a deal and he might not have noticed.

So when I go to campus I close out my laptop and disconnect it from my charger and put it in my backpack. I'll do a quick glance to make sure there is no porn so I don't open it in a public place and somebody sees me watching porn. This morning I made sure there was no porn and then left for campus.

The meetings are just me and him in his office. I usually open up my laptop and then pull up the thing I want to show him (data or a paper or whatever) and then turn my laptop on his desk so he can see. This is also a failsafe in case I have crap up on my screen.

For whatever reason, when I opened up my laptop he just decided to walk over and look over my shoulder. NBD since I closed out of all the porn. He stood over my shoulder as I put in my login credentials, and even though it wasn't porn I had left a LiveLeak search up for "Baby Monkeys Getting Eaten". I didn't really exit the browser that quickly either so that didn't help. The entire rest of the meeting he was way quieter and more short with me than usual, and he seemed sort of flustered.

>>7799009
lmao you're fucked

>>7799009
Why are looking up baby monkeys being eaten?

i'm 1/3 sure you're just bullshitting but anyway

look over whatever agreement you signed with your department, and look into the policies for your program.

if your PI does have money and he just doesn't want to pay you, that may be in violation of the agreements he signed.

if not... you're fucked bro.

but i'm pretty sure you're bullshitting.

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>>7799009

>>7799009
One time as a grad student I got caught day trading stocks at work. Nothing happened. Though this was around the time another grad student in the lab was fabricating data, so nbd in the long run. Sorry for your troubles friend. Good luck.

>>7799009
I don't understand what the big deal is here

Fucking normies man how do they work

>>7799009
>"Baby Monkeys Getting Eaten"

Not claiming it's the name of a Seattle-based indie rock band.

>>7799061
Day-Trading stocks is slightly less offensive than watching gore like an edgy /b/tard faggot OP

>>7799009
holy shit

i'm crying

>>7799066
Something like this, obviously. People who can't come up with convincing lies must go through their whole life having to account for things.

>>7799009
2 things could have happened:
1) he's pissed at you for having that up, because it shows that you're not the person he thought you were. Brilliant grad students can turn into evil people (e.g. Unabomber)
2) He just found out he lost his grant money and so he was upset and was more curt/quiet than he wanted to be, but didn't want to have to deal with your reaction/lash out at you when he told you that you would have to stop your research in person

>>7799109
Very true. I don't know how one gets in the habit of NOT quitting browser when bringing laptop to work. And clear history.

This is the funniest shot I've seen this year 10/10 OP.

>>7799009

So... browsing porn in uni, thread?

I browse porn all the fucking time in campus, with my fucking student log in credentials, due to the fact I have been squatting in our robotics lab for two semesters (senior project).

I'm pretty fucking sure a few professors, and probably the dean is well aware of my porn habits.

And I still got my ME diploma!

>>7799009

This is why you should do all your porn browsing inside a virtual machine.

>>7799009
>>7798975
Other grad student here,
Sounds like the normal everyday weird shit that professors hear/see. Trust me, with most you have to do so much worse to get kicked out. In my friends lab, the girl would work for like 4 days straight while snorting oxy in the bathroom, then dissapear no-contact for a week, rinse and repeat.

It took like a year and a half for her to get kicked, and that was because she failed a class, which is an instant terminate in grad school.

A lot of professors wont know/wont announce their funding situation. Under normal cicrumstances its sketchy, but in today's funding world it's pretty much the norm to not have enough to pay your lab/not know if your grant is renewed or not, even if you are an awesome lab (hell, a recent nobel prize winner has been having trouble with funding).

It was option B, no questions asked, unless your prof. Is a crazy stick in the mud.

>>7799164
Agreed, only browse porn through a virtual machine connected to another virtual machine acting as a gateway which then connects to the internet through a vpn which then goes through tor to access the porn, and only on a $200 laptop paid for in cash with the mac card spoofed on free mcdonalds wifi.

Don't want to take any chances now

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>>7799009
Option 1) say you were searching for this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjRdxuByd2g
after hearing stories that you didn't think were true

Option 2) say you were looking for a particular porn video of young (18-22) black women receiving oral sex.

>>7799174

Seriously, it only takes a few seconds to boot up and is the next best thing to using separate computers for work and home like a professional.

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>>7799009

>Baby Monkeys Getting Eaten

>>7798975
you heard a story in the news about some mother monkey at a zoo eating her children

or were curious about whatever that hormonal instinct is that causes mothers to eat their newborns and wanted to read about a story of it

who fuckin cares that's all normal enough. i had to look up "bulldog mother eating her puppies" when mine had a litter and i was worried about what i needed to watch for

your professor probably was just under stressed and kind of upset and that's probably why he was quiet

>>7798975
Honestly OP regardless of the causes for these circumstances the outcome is still the same.

Focus on sorting out your research/studies.

I can't find the video on Liveleak.

>>7799126
>2) He just found out he lost his grant money and so he was upset and was more curt/quiet than he wanted to be, but didn't want to have to deal with your reaction/lash out at you when he told you that you would have to stop your research in person

It's absolutely this, i'm sure. Honestly don't see your live leak search as that big of a deal.

>>7799173
>A lot of professors wont know/wont announce their funding situation.
bullshit

government grants are public information, anyone can look up the grants any professor has received

and the only case where a professor wouldn't know their funding situation is if they've applied for a new grant but haven't heard back on the result yet

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>>7799009
YOU DESERVED IT YOU CREEP.

>be in front of class for a presentation
>need to login in terminal
>look at the keyboard like a pleb, type my pw
>hear people laughing
>I look up, terminal has aborted login
>everybody sees my pw in plaintext
>niggafuckaw337

>>7799009
Why. THE FUCK. Do you have porn saved on your workspace equipment at all?

>>7800103
KEK

>>7800103
Nice.

>>7799061
Why would you not be allowed to trade stocks? You do realize that you are allowed to use the internet for your personal business right? Half the people in your lab probably browse facebook or whatever the fuck during the day.

>>7800162
>You do realize that you are allowed to use the internet for your personal business right?
most unis ban profit-seeking activity on their network

you're not, for example, allowed to run a bitcoin miner on a laptop computer on our uni's network. found that out the hard way

>>7800177
That's more to do with it being a commercial server eating up bandwidth than anything else. College kids always buy and sell shit on ebay/amazon on the network just fine. Stocks should be no different.

>>7799906
Grants get pulled all the time.

Last year my adviser lost a grant which was supposed to provide funding for 3 grad-students. That was after being awareded before the first review process even started. It just got pulled because some bureaucrat wanted to move money around to a shinnier grant proposal.

>>7800177
bitcoin miners fuck with the entire network. That's completely different from trading stocks unless he was running an autotrader or something.

A friend of mine wanted to show his supervisor that LaTeX was a superior tool for publications (yes, this is a long time ago). So he goes to Google, types "LaTeX" and hits the button labeled "You you feel lucky, punk?".

What appears on the screen was processing of sorts you could say but those were not words that were being processed. As an added bonus the secretary had come up to see and started giggling uncontrollably.

Other than a massive embarrassment there were no problems afterwards.

>>7798975
This makes me want to die.

When I was doing my MSc I occasionally shared basic field data with another student who had a similar project going on.

We got together so I could give her some data logger files from my laptop and at some stage we turned to google to figure something out.

As I started typing 'do' in the search bar, all my previous searches like "dog sex" dog cum" dog blow job" popped up. She fucking saw that shit. She didn't say a thing but she fucking saw it. Fuck.

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>>7799009
i came to this board the second time so far because of the 9. planet and all i got was some funny oc to screencap for later use. see ya in the next ylyl.

>>7800517
Man we all have our fetishes, it's none of her business.

I do maintain, however, that everyone should have seperate equipment for their work and their recreation.

At the very least have different profiles for the two.

It's not just about porn. You don't want to lose your files because you fucked something up installing some package/game/exe.

Also security.

>>7800517

Stories like this really make me feel lucky. A professor once went on my computer and started typing "s"-"e"- slowly while autocomplete ran as I just watched helplessly in the background sweating bullets. I've never been so relieved when it showed nothing embarrassing...

>>7800582
Thanks that's a nice way to look at it. Have definitely learned from it.

You know baby sheep aka lamb is a delicacy in most of the West. Don't see the difference to be honest.

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>>7800517

why were you watching that shit? so you support the sexual abuse of animals?

I hope a rabid dog bites off your nads one day

>>7799061

But what else is there to do when gels are running?

Also OP he must of seen the porn was there a reflectice surface behind you? And why are you opening that shit at workk?

>>7799161
This isn't technically a porn story, but I once jacked off while staring at the back of my cute asian colleague while she was about three feet away (she was hunched over her computer and concentrating on her work with earbuds in). And by once, I mean twice. Shortest refractory period of my life. I only worked up the courage to do it after a term of secretly cumming in her sweaty used gloves, rubbing my dick on her labcoat (sometimes to finish) and licking her snacks.

>>7799009
I doubt you lost your funds cause of baby monkey getting eaten.

It's still funny tho.

>>7800177
>post made on 01/21/16
>"profit-seeking" activity
>implies profit is generated
>uses bitcoin mining as an example
lad...

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>>7801598
These are the people you share a board with.
These are the people telling you your major is shit.

>>7801660
that was three years ago, back when bitcoin was still below 15 dollars a coin and desktop miners could still be marginally useful

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>>7800103
:D my sides

>>7801598
Rape her

I am having the fucking chuckle of my life. "Baby monkeys getting eaten" lmfao what the fuck.

This thread has got to be a joke.

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>>7799009
Nigga, just say you did it for science
But he didn't cut funding because of that, believe me

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>>7801598

>>7800220
What?

>>7799009
[math]h(x) = f(x)[/math]

>>7799061
wtf?

in my old lab everyone played fucking vidya games while their reactions were running.

I mean, you can't dick around in chemdraw all day...

>>7800220
latex is THE superior tool for pubs idiot

are you a humanities kid

>>7801257
>>7800517
I agree. You're a sick fuck and you need help. Even if you don't abuse dogs yourself, watching it is almost as bad.

>>7798975
>I was over halfway done with my research.
Does this really happen to people? (Getting canned after you've done half your research)
Right now I'm working on a side project that is either going to make nature methods or waste 6 months of my life. Asked my PI when I began a month ago if he was okay with me taking time to find out how to do this since I don't have the experience. He was all for it until about a month in when he got tired of hearing ideas and wanted to see results for something that usually takes people 3-4 years to learn. I'm on a fellowship so money isn't an issue but losing your lab after years of research would suck...

>>7803618
not them but latex is basically never used in biology

>>7803618
Who is idiot here?
I used LaTeX for my PhD physics thesis so why should I not recommended it? Also my colleague recommended it. None involved had a humanities degree possibly with the exception of the secretary.

>>7798975

I browsed porn at my uni with my log, and I think they saw it atleast the admin guy didcause I couldnt log in for 1 week and then after that I could browse again ,they saw it and gaved me a warning I quess, now I dont do it anymore

>>7803706
That's because biologists never write anything technical or anything that gets published in major media

>>7799060

He want to see eaten your babies and you still do that face? you are ignoring the biggest tragedy of your life.

>>7804197
What kind of university are you at? At the community college I went to there was no porn allowed period, public or private computers.

At my university there's no restriction on porn on a private computer in a private area by somebody 18 or older.

I also torrented shit all the time, all they did was make me click "I understand, won't do it again" every month when their system ran a check (I guess). And it just happened every month, and nothing every happened to me because of it.

>>7803677
>Does this really happen to people? (Getting canned after you've done half your research)
My thesis (MS) research is a half-finished project that a different student started and then "had to drop". Not sure whether she dropped out or was forced out, but it's a possibility.
Feels goodman though, I've got a bunch of data collected already and all I have to do and check it over (I think some stuff was photographed at a slight angle, and I'm doing morphometrics) before analyzing it.

>>7800517
How does a dog even give you blowjobs or is it the other way around

I carry hardcore bdsm on my laptop and cellphone, should I he worried?