Welp. We all saw it coming. Like rats off a sinking ship, most of us fled. And the last of us, stubborn enough to cling to this failure of a board, see now that it has finally, completely and fully collapsed into a floundering, hopeless mound of wreckage. I kept coming back, and trying to revive the good old days, but they are now completely and hopelessly gone. This lame and deplorable board has been corrupted thoroughly, and it will never be the same. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. The funny namefigs are all gone. Why would they stick around? The magic is gone. The fun is gone. The humor has soured. Bitter, lost and clueless outcasts have taken over, spamming random garbage in a desperate attempt to be "ironic". The beauty that /s4s/ once was, is forever uglified. What is even more pathetic, is that after I post this, those same sorry anons and rude "new s4s" namefigs will rush to the defense of this festering, putrid sewage pit that serves only to steal the time, joy, and happiness of any poor soul hapless enough to stumble upon it. Not even a glimmer of hope or humor remains. Even the horrible and ridiculous memes that poisoned the well are gone, too ashamed to how their ugly faces on this website, knowing full well that any association with this degenerate, ridiculous excuse for a board will soil their worthless reputation even further, if that were possible. The real /s4s/ is gone, and what remains is a shallow, smoldering crater of ransacked tryhard fecal waste and garbage, the stench of which fills the air and permeates through onto other more respectable boards. Even r9k weeps in pity and shame when they dare to cast their lowly glances onto this worthless excuse for a board. Not even the ransacked, gore and porn filled /b/ can hold a candle to the wanton stupidity and utter disgracefulness of this wretched, putrid, ghastly, heinous, vile, unspeakable, bloated pus-filled abomination that is, /s4s/.
>Even r9k weeps in pity and shame when they dare to cast their lowly glances onto this worthless excuse for a board.
You certainly do have a way with words.
the main difference between old [s4s] and new [s4s] is that 4chan functions differently now. Years ago you could post as many threads as you wanted, the time limit between posting threads was 3 minutes, you could make a post every 30 seconds with or without an image. You used to have to edit images in order to repost them over and over, but now you can just post the same image in every thread. And now we have spoilers and fortunes. There's no more board-overwhelming spam ala gippo dudee, or if there is it's only ever done by one person now instead of multiple people. As far as the content goes though, it's not much different. I mean, it's different but it's basically the same old shit; forced memes, ironically shitty overused memes from other boards, circlejerking, anime, etc.
The only reason you stop liking [s4s] is because you spend too much time here and you start to notice how certain posters are here at certain times and that they do the same thing every day and you start to notice all the patterns and it just gets really predictable.
Anyway poop on a shit
Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that's not my problem.
So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?". Next thing you know she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"
"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."
At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM-ing. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.
ultra well said. few too many consecutive adjectives in some places for my taste, but nevertheless a stroke of brilliance. truly approaching me-tier. all around nicely executed.
this meme is a beacon of hope for this board if im being completely honest (and i know how a lot of us have been being real honest lately)
i think this speaks for everone im not saying i dont dshare your opinion but we could all benefit from this kind of reflection, i mean if this is your opinion i agree but it's defintely a situation where we can all share the same outlook on this right????????????????