heyyy i haven't been doing these cooking threads cuz i just haven't felt like it. also i'm finding it hard to enjoy the board much recently...
prob just me tho.
anywho i said i'd make a thread for bread! and i never did. ;_;;;
when i baked it also the sun was down and i couldn't get a decent picture for OP image but i went ahead and took one this morning!
and yea i'll show u how to make it.
oh and i did slash this loaf down the center but it kind of disappeared in the oven spring. i probably need something sharper than the knife i was using also the scoring bit i need to work on... but i'm pleased with the large crumb i'm getting and the crust isn't bad either... so i feel like i'm getting the hang of it.
>someone refers to "a bunch of buttholes"
>this anon quickly comes to the defensive
>mfw we now know who one of the buttholes is
the night before u bake it or up to 24 hours even u want to get a pre-ferment going, or a "poolish". mix 1 cup flour, 1 cup water and 1/4 tsp (just a pinch!) of yeast. cover it with either a towel or plastic and let it sit on the counter overnight.
dubs but pls don't argue this is nice thread ;__;
thx! i'm trying to show how to make it
>i'm trying to show how to make it
I appreciate that, and those dubs. I have a bag of flour just sitting in the cupboard going unused and I'm not the greatest cook but lately I've been wondering what can be done with it. Unfortunately it appears that bread requires something called "yeast" and I have no idea what that is!
can you please do that with my original meme. le smug boi face?
ok so the next morning or whenever ur ready ur gonna mix all the poolish, 1 lb of flour and 10 oz of water together, cover them and let it sit for at least 30 minutes, up to an hour.
DON'T add any additional yeast or salt at this point.
this step is called autolyse and it develops the gluten without kneading the dough. this is very important bcuz this dough is around 90% hydration which means it's just about unkeadable. it's almost the consistency of cake batter.
cover dough and let rest ~30 min
banana: please don't flood, bud
nice dubs! u can buy it in the baking aisle i'm using active dry. i recommend a jar and not packets... packets cost too much!
I still find completely innocuous spammed images to be a funny way to sh*tpost a thread
now add in 2 tsp of salt, 1 tsp of extra yeast and mix well enough that everything is just combined. now cover and let it sit for at least an hour.. how long u let it rise is up to u. i like to do 3 rises though. the first two an hour then 90 minutes for the last one
it's not supposed to grow there lol....
umm. no name cuz sparkles has been using it so he can have it until he gets bored.
ok now for basic shaping. u wanna flour a cutting board or other work surface well. oh and i should mention the dough is sticky so having ur bowl it was rising in greased (either with cooking spray or just wiped in with a towel) helps...
ur gonna scrape ur dough onto the floured surface and ur gonna fold it in 3rds like a letter. towards u, away from you, then fold in thirds again from the right and then the left.
this helps the dough get good surface tension, which makes it shapeable, and gets the surface nicely dusted with flour
good dubs, but don't flood, bud!
here's what the folded dough looks like. after ur done with that (takes a minute!) return it to the bowl and let it rise another hour, covered. fold again and let it rise again a final time.
i don't recommend deflating. let the yeast do it's work! that's how u get the big holes like in OP pic
banana ur being rewd
for the final rise instead of returning it to the bowl again i cut the dough in half, dust it, and tuck the two halves into towel that's well dusted with flour. fold the towel over the top and make sure the loaves don't touch while rising! they'll fuse together lol
for the oven i preheat it for 30 full minutes on the broiler setting, with a baking stone in the top 2/3 and a greased cast iron pan on the bottom rack
here is after the final rise... now u need to do a few somewhat convoluted and dangerous steps here so be careful!
u want to make steam in the oven... there are a few ways to do this. i spritz the tops of the loaves heavily with water right before they go in.. i think i am gonna try that after scoring them next time.
also i pour boiling water into a cast iron pan and shut the door. that part is scary and it's also probably bad for the pan, lol... SO BE CAREFUL
but basically, if ur baking on a stone or on tiles in the oven u'll want a pizza peel and a piece of parchment paper...
put ur paper down on the peel. roll the loaves off the towel onto the parchment. be gentle with them! don't deflate...
now slash them, spritz with water and slide them onto the stone.
now pour the water in the pan to make a ton of steam in the oven and immediately shut the door!
this is like i said a lil bit scary! but it lets u get a good crust!
u wanna bake 20 minutes total. also i open the oven after the first five minutes and spray in some more water to make more steam.
rotating the loaves with the peel halfway through baking (at 10 min) is a good idea also, so they brown evenly....
here they are right out of the oven! let them rest at least another 15, better 20 minutes before u cut into them. yum!
like i said they are great for buttering and toasting or any number of tasty toppings or spreads! c:
why are ppl spamming in my thread? gee calm down lol it's just bread xD
i tried linux once and it didnt even work you guys are pathetic you
all wanna work with some csi bullshit, trust me ive tried linux and dont say "try another distro"
i tried gentoo no other "distro" will be any different. why would i compile a "kernal" what am i
making fucking popcorn just use windows you stupid fucking wannabes.
what are you guys fucking autistic what is
it with you fucking retards and your "terminal" what why would i wanna use that stupid bullshit
you guys wanna be such leet haxors that you dont see how unefficient the god damn terminal is you
guys just wanna use this broken, shit os when there is windows already available. dont get me
started about firefox that shit is bloatware all you guys wont use it because you all circle-jerk
about how chrome must be botnet because of google but maybe google just wanted to make the user
experience the web better you guys are so fucking stupid just be normal for fucks sake.
oh yeah, and did i forgot you fucking emacs/vim faggots, you guys all use your little depricated
peice of shit editors, gnu made emacs as a joke. you guys wanna use this weird :q shit where q:
doesn't even really quit the program you gotta go q!: to actually fucking close the software. why
dont you guys just use ms-word like a normal fucking human being? oh is it to mainstream for you
faggots i bet it is well guess what, it's mainstream because its better just fuck off back into
your parents basements you fucking faggots.
oh and dont fucking get me started on "their is steam on linux" no just no it doesnt have any
games and they are all slow as fuck compared to windows i mean you guys must just be circle-
jerking your desktops and creating fucking emacs configs play games like a normal person already
jesus christ and linux doesnt even fucking support my professional programs like autocad autodesk
3d max dreamweaver maya photoshop do you guys even work
Here's the problem, OP. The Japanese ethos was warped forever by the atomic bomb attacks during WWII. Millions of Japanese men, women, and children were forced to come to terms with the idea of an overwhelmingly powerful entity outside of their control that could wipe them out of existence without warning using unspeakable weapons. They did this, for the most part, by exploring the idea in fiction. Godzilla is one example. Anime is another. If the United States of America were to deploy nuclear weaponry against Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and France, chances are the same thing would happen again: More Godzillas, and more anime. Do you think the world can really handle six animes? In the 1980's, United States President Ronald Reagan developed an idea known as "Mutually-Assured Destruction" (MAD). This philosophy stated that war with Russia would not happen, because there was no way to wage it without both countries being destroyed. I see this same situation today. We cannot nuke more countries for fear of mutually assured destruction when they create more anime. Thank you for your time.
I honestly don't understand the point of this board. How can you people seriously just sit around all day and spout all this retarded bullshit? It's so fucking stupid and literally nothing here even approaches being vaguely funny. It's just the same fucking thing over and over again with meme this and meme that. No well-adjusted person would ever come to this board time of their own free will because there's nothing worth coming here for. There's nothing funny or intellectually stimulating that normal people enjoy. You know who enjoys this sort of repetitive crap? Autistic people, that's who. I'm being fucking serious when I say that everyone who keeps coming to /s4s/ is at least some part autistic. Congratulations on your autism but maybe you should at least make an attempt to better yourselves and try spending less time here. Maybe then you'll see why normal people don't find any of this funny.
Every time I see this kind of thread, I just shake my head and laugh.
You severely damaged losers are literally the Bronies of /s4s/. You know, that sub-group of 4chan kids who obsess over the preschool girl show My Little Pony? You probably don't know since all of you pathetic losers are far too busy fapping to bread and wishing that the bread laws are changed to let you fuck breads. Why on earth would a group of you no-lives cling heavily to something as sad as this? Is there some sort of mental sickness in you guys? Did you not have a childhood? Do you not have a grasp on reality? How can you allow yourselves to deteriorate to this?
At first, I figured it was one lonely kid making these threads and bumping all day while crying in the basement for being such a useless waste of life... but then, I realized this isn't one kid doing this. There are at least fifteen of you in these threads that love talking about bread. There isn't any doubt that all of you autists are fat, out of shape, and friendless.
Is that the thrill you kids get from these threads? Is it the fact that you can laugh and sing and can't even get off of your bed to empty out your piss bottle? Do you not realize that this board doesn't exist for posting bread? If not, then
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FIXATION?
I'm speaking for /s4s/ as a whole, and possibly, your families as well. Just stop. This isn't healthy. Stop now and try to live a regular life. How embarrassed must your family feel when they have to explain to your aunt and uncle that you spend your life posting pictures of bread on 4chan all the while giggling like schoolgirls.
Just stop already. Quit with the silly threads. OP, delete this thread. Kids, clear your browser history and delete all the files you have of bread.
I am telling you this because I am empathetic and I care. Please listen to me.
rude dubs! :/
i like how ppl say i samefig for attentions when the ppl who seemingly don't want me posting here are literally the only ones doing it
a few more tips for beginners:
u don't have to use a peel/baking stone, but it gets a better crust if u do.
u don't have to have the oven quite so hot, or make steam inside it, but it helps the crust and the rise in the oven (oven spring) if u do.
u can use a drier dough that's more easily workable and u can leave out the preferment step, but this things help get a better open crumb structure...
so a lot of the trickier things about this can be skipped and u can make an edible bread just fine, but it might be a little dense and pale.
i'm still working on getting a darker crust. i know u can use eggwash but i am considering that cheating. i'm fairly happy with what i've been baking recently though. it's hard to get decent bread at most grocery stores.
those are dubs/thread's over so u don't have to spam still lol
>i like how ppl say i samefig for attentions when the ppl who seemingly don't want me posting here are literally the only ones doing i
But the difference is that LoLo is providing something of use while attempting to gain our attention. All you're doing is posting a picture of a banana and now copypasta. I mean you'd have to be completely retarded to not see the difference.
Hey Lolo, nice to see you again!
ummm thanks! idk if that song is something i should remember off maybe dubtrack or sth?
bump for anyone else who wants to see bread!
god that bread looks fucking awesome. you should hide it somewhere in a drop box and give me the coordinates so i can go pick it up. because i want some of that damn bread fam
i ignore comments like this usually, and i don't want replying to them to seem like i'm encouraging it but i don't want my silence to be taken the same way either. i'm not encouraging it.
basic tl;dr is don't be lewd pls bby .___.;
tomorrow when i'm hungries again i think i'll toast some of this bread in olive oil, rub with garlic, and top chopped tomatoes and maybe a chopped artichoke heart cuz i have some and a good pinch of salt. per g8r's suggestion.
anime pictures make bum hurt haha
oh no mommy anime made me poopy my panties no diaper help me mommy waaaaah waaaaah ANIME FUCKING SHITS BTFO AHAHHA KILL YOURSELF AUTIST
btw did u kno that chinese cartoons make me mad? like reaaaaaaallly angry grrr i hate anime reeeee haha reeee
Fuck u sideways in the ear with your "he cummed on my face teehee ;v)/DON'T B LEWD" kakawater