Archived threads in /s4s/ - Sh*t 4chan Says - 708. page

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Anonymous
2017-08-12 12:10:51 Post No.5683809
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:10:51 Post No. 5683809 [Report] [View this topic]

Garlic bread chef

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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:11:37 Post No.5683814
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Feer hem

Anonymous 2017-08-12 06:12:42 Post No.5684554
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>>5683809
>>5683814
Every thread deserves at least one reply! and quit frankyly i'm surprised this hasn't gotten any

Anonymous
2017-08-12 12:05:41 Post No.5683799
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:05:41 Post No. 5683799 [Report] [View this topic]

I have a sexual attraction to household appliances. You may think I'm joking, but I'm not. Before you call me a freak or degenerate, let me tell you why;

I was on vacation with my mom & dad in San Antonio. We arrived around 8 or 9 at night and checked in at the nearest Motel 6. Desperate to catch some sleep from the roadtrip, I rushed up the stairway to our room and in the process ripped my cargo pants.

This usually wouldn't be a problem, but somehow I had forgotten my briefcase. I had no willpower to fret over it, I could just get another pair at Walmart tomorrow. Right then I needed some sleep, so I passed out on the floor because my parents hate eachother and needed separate beds.

I woke up the next morning and went downstairs to get my share of the continental breakfast. They had a waffle iron that you put your own batter in and waited about 45 seconds until it was done. Now, being the dumbfuck I am, I decided it would be a good idea to mix maple syrup into the batter.

When the iron beeped, I rushed to open it, and in the process burnt the ever-loving shit out of my thumb. I put it on ice and then tried once more to open the foul beast, only this time with an oven mitt that the staff had so kindly provided. I was not prepared for the evil that awaited me. It was so poorly formed, so burnt in some areas and so liquidy in others.

Then it happened. The syrup that I had added bubbled up and fucking flew right into the tear in the crotch of my pants. I don't even know how it could've done so at that angle, but I did know that my dick was burning with the fury of a thousand suns. I yelped, ran up to my room, forced the door open and hopped into the shower. Luckily nobody was in there.

I tore my clothes off and turned the water on as cold as it would go. I was crying at this point, but the water soothed the pain. Then I realized that the syrup was still stuck to my penis. I had to do the unthinkable;

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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:07:06 Post No.5683801
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:07:06 Post No.5683801 [Report]

I had to vigorously masturbate with the generic hotel shampoo in order to save my burning dick.

I'll spare you the details, but I had the best orgasm of my life. When I was done I noticed that the scarring from the burn was shaped like a heart. It was a sign. God had directed that syrup into my pants so I could find true love. In the coming months, I could never see a waffle iron without getting an erection. In the coming years, my fetish spread to toasters and blenders.

One day, I was staying at my grandmother's house to make sure she didn't hurt herself in a dementia fueled frenzy. She started watching infomercials about pressure cookers and I just couldn't control myself. I had to recreate the magic of that first night. I unplugged her toaster and took it to the shower. My bulbous erection blinded me from the danger of my actions, but I didn't care.

The next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed with a nurse telling me they had found my body in the bath, next to a toaster covered in semen. I was shortly transferred to a mental health facility who thought that I had attempted suicide. They made me stay for two months because I kept telling them that I just wanted to fuck a toaster.

Anyway that's my story. I'm a little more adjusted now but still get a chubby from waffle irons sometimes.

Thanks for listening.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

Anonymous
2017-08-12 12:00:15 Post No.5683787
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:00:15 Post No. 5683787 [Report] [View this topic]

lasaga

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Magick- 2017-08-12 12:02:46 Post No.5683793
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Magick- 2017-08-12 12:02:46 Post No.5683793 [Report]

Where did the smegma softener go you orange faggpt

Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:18:27 Post No.5683844
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:18:27 Post No.5683844 [Report]

the monday feline

Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:18:57 Post No.5683846
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Anonymous 2017-08-12 12:18:57 Post No.5683846 [Report]

>>5683793
i ate those food

Yuji Sakai
2017-08-11 11:59:07 Post No.5683784
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Yuji Sakai 2017-08-11 11:59:07 Post No. 5683784 [Report] [View this topic]

flube

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Magick- 2017-08-12 12:00:52 Post No.5683788
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Magick- 2017-08-12 12:00:52 Post No.5683788 [Report]

Quality post, a classic

Masochistic earth gnome 2017-08-12 12:01:04 Post No.5683789
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posting flube at night

Your fortune: Godly Luck

Yuji Sakai 2017-08-12 12:06:04 Post No.5683800
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>>5683788
DUBS!! LOLE!!!!!!!!

wojdjsnsnaaajajajsnxjxmmke
2017-08-11 11:56:32 Post No.5683772
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wojdjsnsnaaajajajsnxjxmmke 2017-08-11 11:56:32 Post No. 5683772 [Report] [View this topic]

when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.when you cum in that pussy, younger pussy is almost always better.

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Magick- 2017-08-11 11:59:30 Post No.5683785
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