12 normies heading 15 clicks south east Beta command awaiting

>>26532040
I'd recommend avoiding eye contact, and then crying, but you've been in this situation before. I'll trust your judgment.

>>26532069
Sir, the normies have taken up arms and are currently firing on our permission

Requesting immediate assisstance

I repeat

Beta squad requesting immediate assisstance

>>26532143
Commander Shepherd here.

I want you to make an immediate retreat. You're outnumbering them 10 to 90, so they're probably Chad's. You don't want to shoot their girlfriends do you?

>>26532143
Fall back to LZ Elliot
We have just received our new supply of Piss Bottles and a new secret weapon called "poop socks". They will turn the tide in the uprising.

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Autism is off charts ITT

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I've already repurposed my factory to tendie production. It's the least I could do

May God be with you Beta Force

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>>26532040
SIR, I HAVE 10 NORMIES LOCKED UP IN SECURITY ROOM
AWAITING YOUR ORDERS HOW TO EXECUTE THEM SIR.
PRIVATE BETABUX OUT.

>>26533962
Piss jug fume grenades

>>26532344
its shepard dumbass

>>26533915
Jesus its Chicken India

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Sir, this is Firebrand
Now, just hypothetically speaking, what would happen if our artillery gun wasn't zero'd and one of our shells hit a Tyson tendies processing plant
Just hypothetically of course

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This is the commander of the Epsilon Squad speaking.
DEATH TO NORMIES AND BETAS, OVERTHROW GOOD BOY

Hahahahahahahaha all these autists holy shit, you will never even leave your smelly sperm stained basement, let alone find a gf.

WE CAN'T LET THIS THREAD DIE SO EARLY, SOLDIERS!
WHAT ARE OUR ORDERS FROM PAJEET SQUAD?

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>>26534568
Are you getting nervous, Chad?

>>26534568
>he says while posting on /r9k/
Lmao

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>>26534568
>>26534576
normie pissing his pants in fear rn

>>26534568
OH SHIT, IT'S A CHAD! THIS IS SOME HIGH LEVEL CHAD, SOLDIERS, OPEN FIRE!

>>26534576

shut up you little bitch, say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens

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>>26534608
WHY HAVEN'T THE LORC KILLED THESE ASSHATS ALREADY, I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF IF I HAVE TO, NORMIE!

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PERFORATE THEM

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Post your melee weapon of choice for the beta uprising

>>26534670

hahahahahahaha I will beat the shit out of you lardass

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>>26534681
reeeee
come at me you stupid chad faggot i will shank you

>>26534703

dudeeee lmaaaoooo your blades wont reach me, you lardosaurusrex

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>>26534670
That's top quality, soldier! Keep that weapon cleaned, that's too good for tendie residue to gunk it up!
>>26534681
YOU CAN TRY IT, CHAD!

>>26534574
Pajeet squad here. Hacking the Normiebook Database to steal some memes, but it's not written in java. I recommend pooing in loo while we wait for the College Dropout Special Team: Computer Science to arrive, see if they have any experience with this obscure language.

>>26534574
PAJEET SQUAD REPORTING IN, TIKKA MASALA JUGS FULL AND READY TO ROLL OUT SIR

>>26534734

Does it even make sense, that a squad called "Pajeet" is having shit stored in jugs, when there are designated streets for it?

>>26534703
>curved spider-man knife
It better inject brown recluse venom when you stab people or that'd just be one retarded knife.

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The 3rd Cavalry Division has taken position on the hill, and our four Infantry divisions are ready to march against the night club with the cavalry providing support. Is there any artillery that can be spared?

>>26534726
WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU WANT FACEBOOK MEMES?
>>26534734
GOOD TO HEAR, PAJEET! I HOPE YOUR PEE PEE JARS ARE FULL, WE'LL BE SEIN SOME ACTION REAL SOON!

>>26534752
It's a decoy! They obviously hacked into our comms! These are some experienced people we're working with, with college degrees and 1-2 years of experience with a steady income and gf here!

A single woman can defeat your entire beta squad. Your spaghetti would be your downfall, top kek

>>26534768
EPSILON BASE 9 IS THE STORAGE OF OUR POOPOO PEE PEE JARS and dank 2hu memes YOU CAN STOCK UP FROM THERE!

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This Beta 13. I've captured 20 normies in a classroom, but don't want to give a way my position.
I have them lined up against the wall on their knees facing away from me.
How do I proceed?

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>>26534799
DAMN RIGHT, BETA SQUAD ARE WEAKLINGS! PRAISE EPSILON SQUAD!

>>26534752
SIR, PAJEET INTEL HAS DESIGNATED TIKKA MASALA TO BE STORED IN JUGS FOR WESTERNER CONSUMPTION

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>>26534804
Greatly appreciated. We had plenty of powder, but only a few projectiles. We shall commence the bombardment of the night club shortly. When the Chads and Stacies attempt to leave, they will be greeted by the bayonets of our infantry.

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Finnish beta-master here. Ready for action!

>>26534813
Wait for beta minus, beta 13. They're coming with water guns filled with orange juice for you to finish the deed.

>>26534813
SHIT DOWN THE BACK OF THEIR SHIRTS

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>>26534813
YOU ARE TO KICK THEIR HEADS IN AGAINST THE WALL ONE BY ONE, THEN THROW YOUR PEEPEE JARS AT THE SCENE TO MASK THE SMELL!

This is beta delta beta, I have been captured by the enemy, my entire squad is dead, do not attempt a rescue, I repeat, do not attempt a rescue. They are too well equipped, I've already lost a leg, there's no hope for me, I overheard a Chad talking about a hydrogen bomb but I don't know. Please tell my mother I love her

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Uhh... Roger. Okay, beta 2-7 let's get those robots to the front.

>>26534885
im gonna crush ur asshole

>>26534885
You will be given the twenty-one tendie salute, brave beta.

>>26534885
Tell your capturers one thing, beta delta beta. We have a methane bomb and we aren't afraid to retaliate. Then give them your radio, we need to diffuse the situation.

I love these threads, I wish I was good at rping so I could join in. Don't ever stop making these threads guys, its like free uprising practice!

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Roger on location, repeating map grid 52761-niner, over.

I HATE FUCKING NIGGERS GOD DAMN NIGGERS GET OUT SHIT

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>>26534858
>>26534859
>>26534863
I'm sorry comrades. My partner Beta 69 gave them all LSD before waiting for a response.
He's trying to start an orgy. How do I deal with this insubordination and degeneracy?

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>>26534844
The battle was a success. Dozens of Chads and Stacies Killed in Action or Died of Wounds. 73 Stacies taken prisoner.

>>26534946
SHIT DOWN THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT

>>26534949
prepare raping squad sigma for the disposal of the prisoners

>>26534949
SHIT IN THEIR VAGINAS AND THEN FUCK THEM

>>26534813
Shoot em all. One by one. You'd be doing God's work anon.

This is beta 10. Do you copy? I have spotted several of what seems to be low-frequency control towers. I've set the charges but I want to make sure we have the perimeter secure in order to eliminate any stragglers.

>>26534986
Reeing you loud and clear Beta 10. Move in to the excretion zone ASAP

>>26532040
Forget about the normies! We're abandoning the area! If you have any last bomb targets, mark them on the Tactical Map, otherwise, get the hell out of there!

>>26534921
This is Chad, so you know about our secret weapon? Hand over all the tendies and we will let you live. Failure to do so will be deadly

>>26535014
SHIT ON THE TACTICAL MAP AND THEN FUCK IT

>>26534979
>nobody else can ever use this message

>>26534925
I'm going to let you in on a secret, soldier. I was the cancer of an RP community about a month ago because I can't RP. This RP is babby stuff, kind of like practice for actual RP. If I can RP this, you can, just b urself

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>>26534966
Do as you will, but my staff and officers have already taken our picks to be our captive waifus, at least until 2D becomes viable.

Hello boys, my name is Stacy, what are you guys up to? Can I come inside your secret base and play with you guys :)

>>26535054
this isn't RP you moron, THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE

DEPLOY THE CHIMPBOTS

>>26535073
*i tie you down and rape you*

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>>26535073
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SHOOT YOU YOU ROASTIE REEEEEEEE

I've set several poopy traps in zone alpha.

>>26535073
IM GONNA SHIT IN YOUR VAGINA AND THEN FUCK YOU

>>26535073
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
GEET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT
this is original you robot nigger

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>>26535073
Our cover is blown, open fire!

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>>26535090
RELEASING THE CHIMPBOTS WOULD BE MADNESS, SOLDIER! THINK OF THE TYRONES THAT WOULD CHIMP OUT SEEING THEM!

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>>26534980
My partner Beta 69 has failed to initiate the orgy after I shitted down his shirt froms >>26534963
command.
Normies are now wiggling around like worms on the floor underneath the desks due to some absurd herd behavior probably induced by the LSD.
I'm walking around pinning them down and giving them a clean shot to the head with my silencer on. I played some music before starting so I feel the gunshots shouldn't be audible at all and my position won't be given a way.

>>26535136
IF WE'RE GOING TO REBUILD WE MUST FIRST BURN IT TO THE GROUND

DEPLOY DEPLOY DEPLOY

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>>26535073

Can I date you?
Pic related it's me, I'm a ro-I mean chad

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>>26535173
SOMEBODY STOP THIS ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>>26532040

OMEGA SQUAD REPORTING IN, AS FAR AS OUR SQUAD KNOWS, THREE STACYS AND TEN CHADS HAVE BEEN SPOTED TEN CLICKS AWAY FROM OUR BASEMENT
I REPEAT THREE STACYS AND TEN CHADS HAVEBEEN SPOTED TEN CLICKS AWAY FROM OUR BASEMENT
ASKING FOR SUPPORT
OMEGA SQUAD OUT

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>>26535206
NO. He's right. My forces will provide barrier troops to contain the violence.

>>26535246
Roger that Omega squad, I will be dropping piss bottles and shit buckets on your position, these supplies should help take care of them.

>>26535287
WITHDRAW THOSE BOTS OR I WILL HAVE YOU COURT MARSHALLED MYSELF, MAGGOT!

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>>26535316
I outrank you!

>>26535298
we received the supplys, we are awaiting further commands
leibstandarte elliot rodgers is still on the way
omega squad out

>>26535361
THEN I'LL TAKE YOU OUT AND SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! I'M A COMMANDER, I'M PRACTICALLY UNTOUCHABLE!

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>>26535401
Damnit, man, we have to show a united front!

>>26535416
WE CAN'T BE UNITED IF TYRONE COMES AFTER US! WE NEED TO BRING BACK THOSE BOTS!

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>>26535451
Leave Tyrone... to me.

IVE GOT FRESH TENDIES AND NEW SHIT JUGS. WHERE'S THE RALLY POINT?

>>26535073
YOU'RE LUCKY WE DIDN'T SHOOT YOU ON SITE ROASTIE REEEEEEEEEEEEE

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OMEGA STRIKEFORCE 1 IS TAKING HEAVY FIRE

>>26536223
GOOD, I'M GLAD THE PLACE WAS TURNED TO RUBBLE LAST TIME!

>>26532040
>>26532143
>>26532344
>>26532553
>>26533962
>>26534252
>>26534474
>>26534574
>>26534576
>>26534588
>>26534597
>>26534646
>>26534663
>>26534670
>>26534703
>>26534725
>>26534726
>>26534734
>>26534768
>>26534772
>>26534782
>>26534799
>>26534804
>>26534813
>>26534832
>>26534835
>>26534844
>>26534856
>>26534858
>>26534859
>>26534863
>>26534885
>>26534921
>>26534927
>>26534946
>>26534949
>>26534963
>>26534966
>>26534979
>>26534980
>>26534986
>>26535003
>>26535014
>>26535072
>>26535099
>>26535110
>>26535133
>>26535136
>>26535153
>>26535173
>>26535200
>>26535206
>>26535246
>>26535287
>>26535316
>>26535298
>>26535361
>>26535362
>>26535401
>>26535416
>>26535451
>>26535569
>>26535980
>>26536223
>>26536239
With a mighty reinforcement of trips, Ultra-Chad and Mega-Tyrone rape the attacking betabots and roboloners, thereby crushing the uprising.

Get fucked, losers.

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>>26536330
Ha, get rekt pleb.

>>26536355
>>26536330
Stacey Squad reporting to back up the Chads! Ew get away from me creep!

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>>26536395
DIE YOU STACY ROASTERONI REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Big Beta here, I've infiltrated the Chad locker room, permission to deploy the remote detonation shit bombs?

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>>26536330
>>26536395
FEMBOTS HAVE INFILTRATED ENEMY RANKS!!

ROBOT SUPPORT STRUCTURES ARE COMING DOWN FROM WITHIN!!!

>>26536609
indians?
bloxblox

I just brought a shipment of stacies and melon to the Tyrones they won't join as long as we keep them supplied. Black bot division out! Chimp out is our last resort. As long as we don't run in to pol tricksters

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>>26536395
You can't win this, Stacey.

>>26534703
>1337
kill yourselv

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>>26536609
RECON HAS EYES ON THE TARGET. DETONATION IS GO, BLOW THE TARGET OVER.
>>26536531
EPSILON 16 COME IN, THIS IS THE 41ST. AIR SUPPORT IS INBOUND, I REPEAT AIR SUPPORT IS INBOUND. HOLD TIGHT BROTHERS, ETA FIVE MIKES. WE ARE FIFTY KLICKS SOUTHEAST OVER.

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>>26532040
SIR WE HAVE CODE RED
I REPEAT
WE HAVE CODE RED

ONE BETA INFILTRATOR IS DOWN
I REPEAT
ONE BETA INFILTRATOR IS DOWN

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Come in command, this is 101st artillery company, the Weeping Wojaks, reporting in. We've sighted an Urban Outfitters hot with normie activity located at latitude 97.3165 by longitude -51.1218. Requesting orders.

>>26536883
MEDEVAC IS ON ITS WAY, DUSTOFF INBOUND.

>>26536931
Mark those targets, please pop smoke to mark your position for air support as well. We don't want you to get hit.

I'm inside the secret weapons Base of the normies. They let me because I threw the race card. It felt disgusting Inshallah I will aloha snackbar these normies with their secret hydrogen bomb

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>>26536847
I HATE AIR SUPPORT, SUBTERRANEAN IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CHIMPS!

>>26537012
Ten four command. Painting targets now. Smoke is up, approximately 5 kilometers southwest of target, and... Seems a couple of trucks pulled in... Looks like theyre moving reinforcements to the front line from here. Requesting permission to fire.

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>>26536847
Bombs are a go, heading to Epsilon now. Over.

Sir! Sir!, private robinson here! My squad is gone! What do I do now??? They are everywhere!!!!!

>>26537210
PERMISSION TO FIRE GRANTED, WE ARE STRIKING TARGETS NOW, OVER. *explosions in the distance*
>>26537352
ROGER THAT OVER.

Omega 0-1 reporting in

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>>26537489
Roger that. We will commence the bombardment right away.

Alright boys, you heard the man! Light em up! Give em a taste of >tfwnogf!

>>26532040
BETA ACTUAL THIS IS TENDIES 1-6, HOW COPY OVER?

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>>26538105
BETA ACTUAL COME IN OVER

>>26538048
ALRIGHT, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. WE'LL BE REFUELLING, STAY SAFE BOYS. OVER.

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So many poor tendies wasted....GONE....and the sauce was everywhere....

>>26536531
>>26536671
>>26536787
Alpha Team 2 here, Jamal reporting in, we're backing up the stacies!!!!

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>>26538832
>wanting to be killed by volley fire this badly